Slimmer's Soliloquy
Tim Love
Tubby or not tubby; that is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The pangs and rumbles of outrageous hunger
Or to plunge arms into a dish of truffles
And by engulfing, eat them. To diet, to eat
No more, and by dieting to mean we end
The gut-ache and the thousand chocolates
That flesh is prey to; yet consumption is
Devoutly to be wished. To diet, to eat,
To eat, perchance to gorge; ay, there's the grub
And in that belch of excess what pains may come
When we have polished off the eight course meal
Must give us pause. There are doctors
Who call cholesterol a threat to life
And who would bear the flab and chins of time,
The scales always wrong, the lover's squeezed out moans,
The endless grapefruit breakfasts, the healthfarm fees,
The insolence of schoolboys with their jokes
That you stop tides coming in
When you'd rather be sunbathing
With a bare midriff? Who would such weight bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life
But for the dread of nothing between meals
And the undiscovered diet from whose regime
No follower turns never suiting us?
Which makes us rather bear those lumps we have
Than fly to hopes ever unfulfilled.
Thus fear of failure makes cowards of us all
And the cautiousness of constitution
Is sickened with the vast intake of meals
And lovers of great looks and fortune
With one regard their sports cars drive away
And lose their lusty passion.
Tim Love, 1989
Tim Patterson
...from laughing so hard :)
Wonderful stuff
Tim (no relation :)
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____________ My Other Signature is Hilarious ____________
Tim Patterson : http://condor.lpl.arizona.edu/~tim/
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