another carcinogenic river sublimation

one more gasoline foetus salvation
  as the cirrus form a film across the sky

then it all sinks beyond
when the crush falls

and i don't want to remember
  (but sometimes its hard to forget)
slipping through reflections
  of a time i destroyed myself
    when reasons only pointed to regret

trapped in a world abandoned
  to a growing tide of disease
and everything flows
  through a sewage plant
    processing the waste as the pipes start to freeze

i don't believe in forever
  (i don't believe in myself)
flipping through the pages
  of a war-torn atrocity
    sliding down a rotten bookshelf

and through the fog lies
  a memory i used to dream
in shattered still-frame pieces
  of the little girl i used to be
and no one ever told me
  just how fucked up this place could seem
no one ever told me it's ok
or showed me how
  or took my hand and led me

no one ever cared

and sifting through the leaves
  piled high beneath the maple tree
i can't seem to find someone to share

and you were just a little boy
  last time i
i was dancing like a ballerina in the early spring winds
  when you
you smiled and laughed
  as the clouds collapsed into brilliant stars in your eyes
  as i
    for just a moment
  (for the last moment ever)
felt free enough
  to smell the birth in the breeze