the only poem that I ever found good after writing it
soz0...@studserv.uni-leipzig.de
A DREAM
Let me soften the beat
of your pounding heart
Let me caress your wounded soul
I have never beheld
saddened eyes such as yours
As if funeral bells are to toll
Now forget all your fears
all the pains of the past
All the aching thoughts of your dreams
Take my arms if you think
they are comfort for you
Take my blood if you think that it heals
Touch my feverish flesh -
it is longing for you
See my tears in the nocturnal gloom
I'm a broken soul too
seeking love in your arms
I will dare, I will give in to you
--------------------------------------
trouble...@webtv.net
j r sherman
with heart and soul you have no control.
heh... meaning, if all of us were given .001 of a cent for each time the words
"heart" and "soul" were used in a poem on the usenet, we could all retire today.
i mean all of us.
find other words for "heart" and "soul".
also, don't rhyme! i say this and some people get mad. well, i'm right, rhyming
boxes you into using the most over used words anyone could come up with, and the
poem ends up sounding like a bad greeting card.
so, what have we got here? you want some chick to trust you, to love you (fool),
and you're trying to tell her that you're there for here, etc. but she also has
fears and anxieties from past relationships (who doesn't), so there's your poem.
not some greeting card rhyming crap. write a poem about how she can trust you,
and not with some "feverish flesh". think about it, do you really think
"feverish flesh" is gonna instill great trust in someone? i don't think so!
and are you REALLY crying in the gloom? no! no chick is gonna buy that one.
pounding heart, funeral tolls, aching dreams??? put a chick in a torn 18th
century dress on the front of this and it could be a bad romance novel!
so skip the rhyming, skip the clichés. read some poetry. write a better poem.
love and kisses,
j r sherman
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's
some kind of federal program."
-- George W. Bush, St. Charles, MO, Nov. 2, 2000
rikr...@my-deja.com
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------
> "They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's
> some kind of federal program."
>
> -- George W. Bush, St. Charles, MO, Nov. 2, 2000
Hey!
Is it true that the [possibly] future leader of the western world went
on TV and claimed that "more of our imports are coming from other
countries, nowadays"?
Wow! The safety of the world will be in safe and sober hands, soon.
Rik, knee deep.
ps - that poem? Didn't turn me on. Sorry.
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
j r sherman
>
>
>> "They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's
>> some kind of federal program."
>>
>> -- George W. Bush, St. Charles, MO, Nov. 2, 2000
>
>Hey!
>
>Is it true that the [possibly] future leader of the western world went
>on TV and claimed that "more of our imports are coming from other
>countries, nowadays"?
that's GW Bush, a man who makes his father look like Einstein.
he's like Margret Thatcher, but without the charm. intelligence, knowledge,
awareness, ability, the list is endless.
>Wow! The safety of the world will be in safe and sober hands, soon.
be afraid, be very afraid.
>Rik, knee deep.
>
>
>ps - that poem? Didn't turn me on. Sorry.
it's there somewhere. it wasn't a very good poem though.
love and kisses,
j r sherman
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
j r sherman
>
>leipzig.de>,
> <soz0...@studserv.uni-leipzig.de> wrote:
>>
>> A DREAM
>>
>> Let me soften the beat
>> of your pounding heart
>> Let me caress your wounded soul
>>
>> I have never beheld
>> saddened eyes such as yours
>> As if funeral bells are to toll
>>
>> Now forget all your fears
>> all the pains of the past
>> All the aching thoughts of your dreams
>>
>> Take my arms if you think
>> they are comfort for you
>> Take my blood if you think that it heals
>>
>> Touch my feverish flesh -
>> it is longing for you
>> See my tears in the nocturnal gloom
>>
>> I'm a broken soul too
>> seeking love in your arms
>> I will dare, I will give in to you
>>
>> --------------------------------------
>
>
like you would know.
hey, sher, are you the kind of person who tells people with infected wounds that
they don't need to go see a doctor, because "god" will take care of it?
i was curious, do you read any books, sher, huh? i mean except for Harlequin
Romance novels?
you remind of the neighbor woman we had in the shit-kicking, cracker trash
no-where's-ville where i spent my formative years. she used to warn my mom that
it was dangerous for me to read so much, i mean all "them" books might give me
"ideas".
she thought the only book a young boy should read was the Bible.
and Reader's Digest.
she once told me Tolkien was a Satanist.
you remind me so much of that old bag, maybe you're the same woman?
>SFWhite
>
>PS - I will not argue about why I like it. I will not explain why I
>like it. I read it as someone hoping to enjoy it, and I did.
too bad, the entertainment value of that would be worth the read.
yeah, encourage the mediocrity, sher. what the fuck do you care?
j r sherman
>
>Let me caress your wounded *spirit*"
>Sorry j r darlin' but substituting "heart" and "soul" in this case
>does nothing for my appreciation of this poem.
or burn the whole fucking thing and start over. but if i say that people bitch
about me being mean. heh...
>So heart and soul has been beaten to death, so what.
so shouldn't we strive to be better?
>Every woman
>enjoys a little romance in her life.
perhaps, but does having a little romance in one's life mean they have to
embrace bad poetry?
>Before you pull the "you don't
>know shit from clay about poems" act on me.
you didn't write this wretched work.
>I like Sherri enjoyed the
>poem. It may not appeal to you arty farty type poets but as I rank
>amongst the majority of the population that are not poets but a reader
>who reads poetry for pleasure, this poem would have commercial appeal
>to most women.
so are you saying most women only appreciate bad poetry? i would like to think
that this is not the case.
>Cheers,
>Diâne ( I practice safe sex too - yeah, I read Harlequin Romances ;-)
have you ever tried reading anything deeper? there's some pretty good stuff out
there if you want to look for it.
to embrace ignorance is far worse than anything i've ever said on this
newsgroup.
love and kisses,
Sherri F White
leipzig.de>,
<soz0...@studserv.uni-leipzig.de> wrote:
>
> A DREAM
>
> Let me caress your wounded soul
>
> I have never beheld
> saddened eyes such as yours
> As if funeral bells are to toll
>
> Now forget all your fears
> all the pains of the past
> All the aching thoughts of your dreams
>
> Take my arms if you think
> they are comfort for you
> Take my blood if you think that it heals
>
> Touch my feverish flesh -
> it is longing for you
> See my tears in the nocturnal gloom
>
> I'm a broken soul too
> seeking love in your arms
> I will dare, I will give in to you
>
> --------------------------------------
You're right, that _is_ good!
SFWhite
PS - I will not argue about why I like it. I will not explain why I
like it. I read it as someone hoping to enjoy it, and I did.
o~O~oo~O~oo~O~oo~O~oo~O~oo~O~oo~O~oo~O~oo~O~oo~O~oo~O~oo~O~o
As Pogo said: "We has met thu enuhmy 'n' he is US!"
STVC
j r sherman wrote:
"shit-kicking, cracker trash
no-where's-ville where i spent my formative years"
Who says you don't post poetry?
Where was it? What religion?
STVC
Darny
>find other words for "heart" and "soul".
"Let me soften the beat
of your pounding *core*
Let me caress your wounded *spirit*"
Sorry j r darlin' but substituting "heart" and "soul" in this case
does nothing for my appreciation of this poem.
So heart and soul has been beaten to death, so what. Every woman
enjoys a little romance in her life. Before you pull the "you don't
know shit from clay about poems" act on me. I like Sherri enjoyed the
poem. It may not appeal to you arty farty type poets but as I rank
amongst the majority of the population that are not poets but a reader
who reads poetry for pleasure, this poem would have commercial appeal
to most women.
Cheers,
Darny
>or burn the whole fucking thing and start over. but if i say that people bitch
>about me being mean. heh...
Since when have you been worried about what people think of you? I
may not agree with what you say but I respect your right to say it.
>>So heart and soul has been beaten to death, so what.
>
>so shouldn't we strive to be better?
some people have to go with what they know and feel and I'm certainly
not stopping anyone from striving to do better.
>>Every woman
>>enjoys a little romance in her life.
>
>perhaps, but does having a little romance in one's life mean they have to
>embrace bad poetry?
The average woman like myself wouldn't know "good" poetry from "bad"
only what appeals to us.
>
>>Before you pull the "you don't
>>know shit from clay about poems" act on me.
>
>you didn't write this wretched work.
I should be so clever.
>>I like Sherri enjoyed the
>>poem. It may not appeal to you arty farty type poets but as I rank
>>amongst the majority of the population that are not poets but a reader
>>who reads poetry for pleasure, this poem would have commercial appeal
>>to most women.
>
>so are you saying most women only appreciate bad poetry? i would like to think
>that this is not the case.
most women are incurrable romantics and do escape into a fantasy world
when time and circumstances allow, where we can indulge ourselves and
dream of the happy ever after.
>>Cheers,
>>Diâne ( I practice safe sex too - yeah, I read Harlequin Romances ;-)
>
>have you ever tried reading anything deeper? there's some pretty good stuff out
>there if you want to look for it.
rest assured darlin' I do read serious books as well and have done
since before you were born. :-P
>to embrace ignorance is far worse than anything i've ever said on this
>newsgroup.
sometimes ignorance is bliss, reality can be a culture shock.
Cheers,
Diâne
Mike Billard
Darny <Dar...@icqmail.com> wrote in message
news:tb570tokb1erbm11p...@4ax.com...
*commercial appeal* How wonderful. Big Macs and Pokemon have commercial
appeal. It's called marketing to the least common denominator. Quantity
versus quality. The more you dumb it down, the more it will sell. That's why
Jewel outsells Heaney, and why McKuen outsells Boland. One can strive for
art and be castigated by the likes of you, or one can play it dumb and be
accepted into your fold with open arms.
renay
*****god save any (wo)man who would settle for this dreck as
a substitute for romance in (t)h(i)er life! SO WHAT? so either figure
out how to write something unique about me or don't bother
because I can get all the recycled romance I want from an Air
Supply LP. my dog can paint. that doesn't mean his "art" is any
good.
Renay
Robert St. James (mei dominum Santiago Matamoros)
: a substitute for romance in (t)h(i)er life! SO WHAT? so either figure
: out how to write something unique about me or don't bother
: because I can get all the recycled romance I want from an Air
: Supply LP. my dog can paint. that doesn't mean his "art" is any
: good.
:
: Renay
Fuck, so *that's* what he was doing. I thought those were just
muddy footprints. Damn, when I think of how much art I might
have deprived the world of when I let the housekeeper mop
them up...
Robert St. James
(funny, he doesn't *look* like Picasso)
Jeannekhan
Populist crap is rewarded by nitwits, imo.
Explains how a shrub who panders can
lead in polls of late. RRR's en masse
button-up-lips-plan ensures his ship floats
to my white house. Burke's admonition
reminds me we earned this evolved version of a blonde quayle handled by
a taller woman named Hughes who resembles his mother. Stupidity has
earned his cupidity, alas. May smarter
women close the novels and don warrior
garb to dispatch idiots back to Abner's
patch before bread and circuses dominate
such that a shrub becomes our President.
Jeanne aka idealist who hopes no shrub
occupies the oval office. Sex makes sense, but illiteracy there bothers me a
tad...;>
>Subject: Re: the only poem that I ever found good after writing it
>From: Darny Dar...@icqmail.com
>Date: 11/4/00 9:19 AM Pacific Standard Time
>Message-id: <1vg80ts81nmd2m9q4...@4ax.com>
>
>>"Mike Billard" <mbil...@erols.com> wrote:
>>*commercial appeal* How wonderful. Big Macs and Pokemon have commercial
>>appeal. It's called marketing to the least common denominator. Quantity
>>versus quality. The more you dumb it down, the more it will sell. That's why
>>Jewel outsells Heaney, and why McKuen outsells Boland. One can strive for
>>art and be castigated by the likes of you, or one can play it dumb and be
>>accepted into your fold with open arms.
>>
>You've said it all, while you keep striving to attain perfection in
>what you and your select group of poets understand. The original
>poster of A Dream will be sitting back drinking pina coladas on a
>Caribbean Island watching his bank balance grow with good marketing.
>
>Cheers,
>Diâne
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
renay
> > "renay" <re...@james.com> wrote:
> >
> >*****god save any (wo)man who would settle for this dreck as
> >a substitute for romance in (t)h(i)er life!
>
> some women.
*****save them from WHAT, the fact that they have no 'romance'
in their lives?
> > SO WHAT? so either figure out how to write something unique
> > about me or don't bother because I can get all the recycled
> > romance I want from an Air Supply LP.
>
> So you slip away into another world with music then do you?
*****is "making love out of nothing at all" unfamiliar to you?
try Napstering artist: Air Supply. cuz I figure if your romance
comes from the reprint of an outline (names changed to keep
it fresh. heh.) some bored housewife penned in 1940, that is
exactly what you're doing.
*****while we're on the subject, I have a question. if every
book written about the lost daughter of a Duke or Earl or Duke
of Earl in Elizabeth's court who was lost in a shipwreck and
ended up being a Lady in Waiting to the Virgin Queen and having
her bodice ripped by the tallest, buffest, handsomest man at
court, wouldn't at least a couple of those girrrls have passed
each other in the hallway? gosh, and wouldn't there have been
some catfights, each of the heroines being a spirited, fiery hellcat
and all?
> > my dog can paint. that doesn't mean his "art" is any good.
>
> Ah! but have you ever tried to sell any of it. I've seen animal art
> in exhibitions and it does sell. Amazing isn't it?
*****you might sell a watercolor seascape done by a gorilla but
there's no market for a German Shepherd's rendition of Guernica
since it looks too much like, um, a German Shepherd's rendition of
Guernica. (but to argue against myself, at least a GS's rendition
of G is unique. one more poem about beating hearts and withering
souls is not.) perhaps the very first canvas splattered with human
feces and menstrual bood was interesting. I expect, however, collectors
soon realized they were shelling out good money for, well, human feces
and menstrual blood. you can pretty much get that anywhere. just like
tired poetry about beating hearts and withering souls.
*****when you first learned to read you probably started with "see spot
run" but hopefully progressed beyond that. the majority of poets begin
by writing "see spot run. this is as great an achievement in the beginning
as a 4 year old reading it. after awhile, though, you expect the 4y/o to
progress. poetry should, too.
Renay
j r sherman
>
>
>>or burn the whole fucking thing and start over. but if i say that people bitch
>>about me being mean. heh...
>
>Since when have you been worried about what people think of you?
i would have thought you would have noted the irony in my lines?
>I
>may not agree with what you say but I respect your right to say it.
we invented that, ya know.
>>>So heart and soul has been beaten to death, so what.
>>
>>so shouldn't we strive to be better?
>
>some people have to go with what they know and feel and I'm certainly
>not stopping anyone from striving to do better.
by praising the bad, you encorage the bad.
>>>Every woman
>>>enjoys a little romance in her life.
>>
>>perhaps, but does having a little romance in one's life mean they have to
>>embrace bad poetry?
>
>The average woman like myself wouldn't know "good" poetry from "bad"
>only what appeals to us.
i don't know, Dar, maybe you're dumber than the "average" woman?? i don't think
you are.
>>>Before you pull the "you don't
>>>know shit from clay about poems" act on me.
>>
>>you didn't write this wretched work.
>
>I should be so clever.
dar, are you really defending this poem because you liked it, or that i trashed
it in the warm, sensitive and caring way i always do these things?
>>>I like Sherri enjoyed the
>>>poem. It may not appeal to you arty farty type poets but as I rank
>>>amongst the majority of the population that are not poets but a reader
>>>who reads poetry for pleasure, this poem would have commercial appeal
>>>to most women.
>>
>>so are you saying most women only appreciate bad poetry? i would like to think
>>that this is not the case.
>
>most women are incurrable romantics and do escape into a fantasy world
>when time and circumstances allow, where we can indulge ourselves and
>dream of the happy ever after.
i'm not aware that even fanatasy and escapism needs to be badly written. i point
to the works of Mr. CS Lewis and JRR Tolkien as a small example. and there are
many others.
i remember in my home town that i used to be part of a little group of folks who
liked to show movies that you didn't often get to see in my two-bit home town.
and one of the many religious groups that plague such villages complained that
our little group didn't show any quality movies about "families", movies that
showed how a family had to struggled to survive, those kinds of movies. so, the
next month we showed The Godfather and Godfather Part II. two quality movies
about a family struggling to survive.
even Shakespeare wrote fantasies and escapism, As You Like It was as fantastic
and escapist as anything written. i don't think you could claim Uncle Billy was
badly written.
>>>Cheers,
>>>Diâne ( I practice safe sex too - yeah, I read Harlequin Romances ;-)
>>
>>have you ever tried reading anything deeper? there's some pretty good stuff out
>>there if you want to look for it.
>
>rest assured darlin' I do read serious books as well and have done
>since before you were born. :-P
then why embrace crap as something with equal value? that's what i don't
understand.
unless, as i said, it was i who did the trashing... in the humble yet loveable
style that i possess, and this is what annoyed you.
>>to embrace ignorance is far worse than anything i've ever said on this
>>newsgroup.
>
> sometimes ignorance is bliss, reality can be a culture shock.
so let's reinforce the ignorance because we might shock the sensibilities of the
faint at heart?
that's never worked, Dar, you should know that.
Mike Billard
> >"Mike Billard" <mbil...@erols.com> wrote:
> >*commercial appeal* How wonderful. Big Macs and Pokemon have commercial
> >appeal. It's called marketing to the least common denominator. Quantity
> >versus quality. The more you dumb it down, the more it will sell. That's
why
> >Jewel outsells Heaney, and why McKuen outsells Boland. One can strive for
> >art and be castigated by the likes of you, or one can play it dumb and be
> >accepted into your fold with open arms.
> >
> You've said it all, while you keep striving to attain perfection in
> what you and your select group of poets understand. The original
> poster of A Dream will be sitting back drinking pina coladas on a
> Caribbean Island watching his bank balance grow with good marketing.
>
That's perfectly acceptable. Monetary gain means absolutely nothing to mean
in regards to writing poetry. I couldn't care less if some hack with a good
PR company makes it rich. That's meaningless. Don't bother trying to
understand. It's not worth the effort it would take.
j r sherman
>
>
hmmmm.....
>>dar, are you really defending this poem because you liked it,
>
>I read this poem a couple of times and then I thought to myself, not a
>bad effort. I see by the authors header it was posted from Germany and
>if English is this persons second language then I would have to say it
>is a good effort.
and if you've read me before, you know i was actually being kind in what i said.
you've seen me say worse things, have you not?
>>or that i trashed it in the warm, sensitive and caring way i always do these
>>things?
>
>Yes, I will admit your trashing does annoy me more than anyone else,
know THAT'S love! so perhaps your liking the poem was more out of being annoyed
with me that actually thinking the poem was a good one?
>you can be such an ass hole at times.
i know you're trying to make a point with this statement, i, for the life of me,
can't figure what the point may be?
>Have you ever thought of
>publishing some of your put down lines?
i have.
>Just think of the $$$ that are going begging there.
dar? would you be serious. no one makes money at poetry. it's like one of the
ten commandments, right there between coveting thy neighbors wife and worshiping
false idols(both are sins i've committed, by the way).
be serious already.
>>i'm not aware that even fantasy and escapism needs to be badly written. i point
>>to the works of Mr. CS Lewis and JRR Tolkien as a small example. and there are
>>many others.
>
>But it's only you and your little band if groupies that seem to be the
>judge and jury in this select group. Why don't you cut some of the
>new posters some slack?
Dar??? what do you want me to do? grit my teeth and say something's good when
it's not? i mean if you saw someone who kept try to hammer a nail with the wrong
side of claw hammer, wouldn't you suggest that the process might work better if
they turned the hammer around?
>>i remember in my home town that i used to be part of a little group of folks who
>>liked to show movies that you didn't often get to see in my two-bit home town.
>>and one of the many religious groups that plague such villages complained that
>>our little group didn't show any quality movies about "families", movies that
>>showed how a family had to struggled to survive, those kinds of movies. so, the
>>next month we showed The Godfather and Godfather Part II. two quality movies
>>about a family struggling to survive.
>
>LOL, so you've always had that wicked sense of humour. Have to admit
>I'd sooner watch your selection ( being of Italian descent and all...)
>than Swiss Family Robinson.
do you see why i always know i'm right?
in that same vein, try a Neruda piece the next time you're in the mood for some
romance in the written word, and throw away (PLEASE) The Bridges of Madison
County. see what i mean?
>Ciao il mio amico
>Diâne
Darny
>*commercial appeal* How wonderful. Big Macs and Pokemon have commercial
>appeal. It's called marketing to the least common denominator. Quantity
>versus quality. The more you dumb it down, the more it will sell. That's why
>Jewel outsells Heaney, and why McKuen outsells Boland. One can strive for
>art and be castigated by the likes of you, or one can play it dumb and be
>accepted into your fold with open arms.
>
You've said it all, while you keep striving to attain perfection in
what you and your select group of poets understand. The original
poster of A Dream will be sitting back drinking pina coladas on a
Caribbean Island watching his bank balance grow with good marketing.
Cheers,
Diâne
Darny
>
>*****god save any (wo)man who would settle for this dreck as
>a substitute for romance in (t)h(i)er life!
Go to the top of the class, this is the type of fantasy that does save
some women.
> SO WHAT? so either figure out how to write something unique
> about me or don't bother because I can get all the recycled
> romance I want from an Air Supply LP.
So you slip away into another world with music then do you?
> my dog can paint. that doesn't mean his "art" is any good.
Ah! but have you ever tried to sell any of it. I've seen animal art
in exhibitions and it does sell. Amazing isn't it?
>Renay
Cheers,
Diâne
Darny
>Diane,
>
>Populist crap is rewarded by nitwits, imo.
Too true and this is why pyramid selling is targeted at those lower
income people who are gullible enough to think they are going to get
rich.
>Explains how a shrub who panders can
>lead in polls of late.
The opposition seems to be getting desperate now too with the amount
of muck raking that has been going on about him lately. I don't know
why but we seem to get more than our share of the US election campaign
trail here.
<snip>
>Jeanne aka idealist who hopes no shrub
>occupies the oval office. Sex makes sense, but illiteracy there bothers me a
>tad...;>
Make sure you exercise your right to vote, at least then you know you
tried to keep him out :-) Hell, you may even succeed yet.
Cheers,
Diâne
Darny
>*****is "making love out of nothing at all" unfamiliar to you?
>try Napstering artist: Air Supply. cuz I figure if your romance
>comes from the reprint of an outline (names changed to keep
>it fresh. heh.) some bored housewife penned in 1940, that is
>exactly what you're doing.
Look at all the remakes and ask yourself why do these groups jazz the
same songs up over and over again. I'll tell you why because that is
where the money is. It's playing to the audience, giving the people
what they want or what they can comprehend and assimilate too.
>*****while we're on the subject, I have a question. if every
>book written about the lost daughter of a Duke or Earl or Duke
>of Earl in Elizabeth's court who was lost in a shipwreck and
>ended up being a Lady in Waiting to the Virgin Queen and having
>her bodice ripped by the tallest, buffest, handsomest man at
>court, wouldn't at least a couple of those girrrls have passed
>each other in the hallway? gosh, and wouldn't there have been
>some catfights, each of the heroines being a spirited, fiery hellcat
>and all?
Period dramas have large audiences, did you see the made for TV Mol
Flanders drama, now there were cat fights in that.
>*****you might sell a watercolor seascape done by a gorilla but
>there's no market for a German Shepherd's rendition of Guernica
>since it looks too much like, um, a German Shepherd's rendition of
>Guernica. (but to argue against myself, at least a GS's rendition
>of G is unique. one more poem about beating hearts and withering
>souls is not.)
Alas, hearts and souls are still going to be around well after we are
gone nothing surer. Better get used to it. Just like Valentines Day.
>*****when you first learned to read you probably started with "see spot
>run" but hopefully progressed beyond that.
LOL "see spot run" came years after I learned to read, IIRC it was
"Janet and John" that I first started with.
So now that I can see you can string a few words together, how about
YOU posting a few poems so a layman like myself can get a chance to
read this fresh original poetry instead of you jumping in and taking
pot shots instead of constructive criticism at other wannabe poets
because their verse doesn't mesh with your train of thought.
Cheers,
Diâne
Darny
>i would have thought you would have noted the irony in my lines?
I did :-)
>dar, are you really defending this poem because you liked it,
I read this poem a couple of times and then I thought to myself, not a
bad effort. I see by the authors header it was posted from Germany and
if English is this persons second language then I would have to say it
is a good effort.
>or that i trashed it in the warm, sensitive and caring way i always do these things?
Yes, I will admit your trashing does annoy me more than anyone else,
you can be such an ass hole at times. Have you ever thought of
publishing some of your put down lines? Just think of the $$$ that
are going begging there.
>i'm not aware that even fanatasy and escapism needs to be badly written. i point
>to the works of Mr. CS Lewis and JRR Tolkien as a small example. and there are
>many others.
But it's only you and your little band if groupies that seem to be the
judge and jury in this select group. Why don't you cut some of the
new posters some slack?
>i remember in my home town that i used to be part of a little group of folks who
>liked to show movies that you didn't often get to see in my two-bit home town.
>and one of the many religious groups that plague such villages complained that
>our little group didn't show any quality movies about "families", movies that
>showed how a family had to struggled to survive, those kinds of movies. so, the
>next month we showed The Godfather and Godfather Part II. two quality movies
>about a family struggling to survive.
LOL, so you've always had that wicked sense of humour. Have to admit
I'd sooner watch your selection ( being of Italian descent and all...)
than Swiss Family Robinson.
Ciao il mio amico
Diâne
Goddess
"Jeannekhan" <jeann...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20001104125114...@ng-fy1.aol.com...
> Diane,
>
> Populist crap is rewarded by nitwits, imo.
> Explains how a shrub who panders can
> lead in polls of late. RRR's en masse
> button-up-lips-plan ensures his ship floats
> to my white house. Burke's admonition
> reminds me we earned this evolved version of a blonde quayle handled by
> a taller woman named Hughes who resembles his mother. Stupidity has
> earned his cupidity, alas. May smarter
> women close the novels and don warrior
> garb to dispatch idiots back to Abner's
> patch before bread and circuses dominate
> such that a shrub becomes our President.
Ickkk! Ptui!!!! If that DOES happen, we can only hope that his advisors
have more in the brain department than he does. And we can feel safer in
that if it does happen, HE won't be doing the driving for a while.
> Jeanne aka idealist who hopes no shrub
> occupies the oval office. Sex makes sense, but illiteracy there bothers me
a
> tad...;>
Yep, so does drunk driving.
Marg
Antti Luode
viestissä:7f590tope4rbbajdl...@4ax.com...
> >(Jeannekhan) wrote:
>
> >Diane,
> >
> >Populist crap is rewarded by nitwits, imo.
>
> Too true and this is why pyramid selling is targeted at those lower
> income people who are gullible enough to think they are going to get
> rich.
Oh you intelligent people.
Antti
(listening to neighbours dog howl)
Darny
>Oh you intelligent people.
>
>Antti
>(listening to neighbours dog howl)
>
Hey, the flying Fin, no less. Howzit going?
I have noticed in Alpha's absence you have picked up where he/she left
off and even STVC is doing his/her bit. :-) At least you both post
poems and please keep doing so because I do enjoy them. It's the
critics around here who chop posters down and don't post any of their
work for appraisal that really tick me off.
Cheers,
Diâne
renay
> So now that I can see you can string a few words together, how about
> YOU posting a few poems so a layman like myself can get a chance to
> read this fresh original poetry instead of you jumping in and taking
> pot shots instead of constructive criticism at other wannabe poets
> because their verse doesn't mesh with your train of thought.
*****how about YOU buying my book, you cheap bitch.
Renay
Darny
>*****how about YOU buying my book, you cheap bitch.
>
>Renay
I buy nothing sight unseen I want value for my money
from what I've seen of your airhead type posts Renay. I'd have to go
with the thought that you have nothing between the ears.
Diâne
Robert St. James (mei dominum Santiago Matamoros)
:
: I buy nothing sight unseen I want value for my money
: from what I've seen of your airhead type posts Renay. I'd have to go
: with the thought that you have nothing between the ears.
:
: Diâne
You can find it at
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1888431067/o/qid=973412538/sr=8-1/ref=aps_sr_b_1_1/105-4124577-5346311 where
you'll also find a link to a web site that
has her writing on it. Unlike the dreckmeisters, poetry-bots, and rhyming crapsters who people
this ng, she doesn't post everything she writes, under the assumption that people who actually
take the time and trouble to find and read her work before they shoot off their mouths are probably the
more discerning readers she writes for.
Robert St. James
(Who let the Diane out, who-who-hoo!)
Darny
<robert...@home.com> wrote:
>You can find it at
>http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1888431067/o/qid=973412538/sr=8-1/ref=aps_sr_b_1_1/105-4124577-5346311 where
>you'll also find a link to a web site that
>has her writing on it. Unlike the dreckmeisters, poetry-bots, and rhyming crapsters who people
>this ng, she doesn't post everything she writes, under the assumption that people who actually
>take the time and trouble to find and read her work before they shoot off their mouths are probably the
>more discerning readers she writes for.
>
>Robert St. James
>(Who let the Diane out, who-who-hoo!)
Good man Robert, jump right in and protect your better half. In the
States she may be known but here in the South Pacific she is a nobody,
and I doubt whether any of the films she has appeared in are even in
our video stores. Since I've been reading this newsgroup and it
hasn't been all that long, her posts read like some dizzy Lizzy no
pun intended. Thanks for the link though.
Cheers,
Diâne
Goddess
"renay" <re...@james.com> wrote in message
news:Xo8N5.391138$i5.65...@news1.frmt1.sfba.home.com...
Good shot, Renay. I think you got her. :-)
> Renay
>
Marg
>
>
Darny
>Good shot, Renay. I think you got her. :-)
>Marg
you have to be joking, think again, got me how? I stand by my opinion
of Renay being an airhead on the basis of her posts. I personally
don't care how many guys she has opened her legs to, and I sure as
hell wouldn't brag in a book about it. Kiss and tells have been done
to death.
Diâne
Bolduc619
the eloquent Darny declaims:
> I personally don't care how many guys she has opened her legs to, and I sure
as hell wouldn't brag in a book about it. Kiss and tells have been done to
death.
>
Prolly doesn't like my work either.
DB
But Renay sure picked a man with a great ass though! Heh.
Rik Roots
> judge and jury in this select group. Why don't you cut some of the
> new posters some slack?
Sorry to but in, but what?
I couldn't give a fiddler's toss about how often a person has posted
to this newsgroup. I don't care whether the poster arrived in
newsgroupland yesterday, or has been haunting the usenet for a decade:
if people insist on posting bad poetry, then they deserve the response
they get.
My definition of bad poetry? Unconsidered, unthoughtout, rambling,
cliched, unfocussed, badly rhymed. Oh, and anything haiku (except
Senryu Sid, who at least makes some effort to connect to the world
outside Poetryville).
Don't you people get it? This is a sodding crusade! And at the moment,
the Hallmark poetasters are winning...
Rik, knee deep and circling the wagons
--
So, soon they topped the hill, and raced together
Over an open stretch of herb and heather
Exposed. And instantly the whole sky burned
With fury against them; earth set sudden cups
In thousands for their blood; and the green slope
Chasmed and steepened sheer to infinite space.
- taken from "Spring Offensive" by Wilfred Owen
E Selow
>
> My definition of bad poetry? Unconsidered, unthoughtout, rambling,
> cliched, unfocussed, badly rhymed. Oh, and anything haiku (except
> Senryu Sid, who at least makes some effort to connect to the world
> outside Poetryville).
>
> Don't you people get it? This is a sodding crusade! And at the moment,
> the Hallmark poetasters are winning...
Nah Rik, they're not. Just seems like that coz MPDs are so en vogue these
days. So you may wanna divide them by two at least, perhaps even three or
more. Then count again.
Elvira
renay
> > "Goddess" <hl-go...@home.com> wrote:
>
> >Good shot, Renay. I think you got her. :-)
>
> >Marg
>
> you have to be joking, think again, got me how? I stand by my opinion
> don't care how many guys she has opened her legs to, and I sure as
> hell wouldn't brag in a book about it. Kiss and tells have been done
> to death.
>
*****meow.
Renay
Robert St. James (mei dominum Santiago Matamoros)
: States she may be known but here in the South Pacific she is a nobody,
: and I doubt whether any of the films she has appeared in are even in
: our video stores.
What's the matter, the Japanese tourists rented them all and then
didn't bring them back?
: Since I've been reading this newsgroup and it
: hasn't been all that long,
This is pretty obvious.
her posts read like some dizzy Lizzy no
: pun intended. Thanks for the link though.
So why don't you buy her book, you cheap bitch?
:
: Cheers,
: Diāne
Robert St. James
(gonna wash that Diane right out of my hair)
Robert St. James (mei dominum Santiago Matamoros)
: Prolly doesn't like my work either.
:
: DB
That's because you never bought her book, you cheap bit...oh, sorry
David.
:
: But Renay sure picked a man with a great ass though! Heh.
Down, Fido.
Robert St. James
(the other better half)
Marek Lugowski
Since none of the principals wishes to correct the misrepresentation, allow
me to do so:
Diane, you're confused by the aggregated listing that shows up in
Amazon.com after you click on their "books by Renay" link. It
actually retrieves books by a) Renay and b) someone named Liz Renay.
If you may choose to notice, the Liz Renay books are from 1971 and
such, while Renay's book, which I typset, designed, as well as
edited down from a collection of poems with the inestimable assistance
of katrina grace craig and put together with the equally inestimable
assistance of LeeAnn Heringer, dates from 1997.
Visit A Small Garlic Press catalog to see the cover and read an excerpt.
-=- ASGP Catalog of Chapbooks -=-
http://www.enteract.com/~asgp/catalog.html
This book is as much Renay's work as it is ours -- please don't be so
fast and loose with denigrating it. It is my work, too. And, it has
nothing to do with spreading legs: You may be alluding to a title _My
First 2000 men_ by Liz Renay, as listed on Amazon.com.
I stand by this book: It is exceptional in many ways. Quite aside
from its merit poetically and as novel book design, if I may claim so,
it is entirely remarkable technologically for a chapbook, as it
contains watermarked direct-digital printing, and the entire book,
cover and all, can be sent over the network and replicated in whole
across the internet on per-copy basis; something usually not seen in
small press, not in 1997, and only now trucked out as a possible
viable service by the publishing/document industry at large.
And, of course, it meets our own standards of merit and loving care,
which you have no basis to impugn.
-- Marek
president and editor, A Small Garlic Press
--
------------------- http://www.enteract.com/~marek/ -------------------
1 Clickable geomap Magical Mystery Tour last add Kristie's postcard
2 HalinaFAQ (now also po polsku) Halina Poswiatowska Translation Project
3 A Small Garlic Press (ASGP) A 501c3 Nonprofit Corp $2/chapbook poetry
renay
> >(Bolduc619) wrote:
>
> >But Renay sure picked a man with a great ass though! Heh.
>
>
> One things for sure they both poke the shit at others but can't take
> it.
>
> Diâne
*****dearest Diâne, once again you're stepping in and spouting
without a clue. it is unfortunate sometimes that the entire history
of the ng and interaction outside the ng is unavailable to any and
everyone who posts here. however, it is very, very telling when
someone, such as yourself, *thinks* they're clued in. my point is,
you've just made an ass of yourself again. I believe you're not
a bit interested in anything more than being a pain in the ass and
getting some attention for it. you're one of those personalities
before principles people, aren't you?
Renay
(stay away from this one, Bolduc! I'm keeping him for myself.)
Max King
Some Zealies and Aussies aren't sure if they're
Americans, Brits or canibals like some of the rest of them.
At least the Canucks live next door and can visit any time
to realize it ain't that bad.
I admired the French Resistance but I wasn't
much for the pesky socialist lot.
Ruined every artist that ever wore a beret
even Monica . . .
tsk, tsk.
-Max (Darn who?)
In article <F5jN5.392491$i5.66...@news1.frmt1.sfba.home.com>,
John
read it because it cut right to the very heart of what I like and hate most
about this ng.
I will not offer my opinion of the poem as I don't want the point I hope to
stress here to be missed simply because you may percieve these words as
coming from the other side of the fence. Perhaps this is arrogant of me,
but it is no more arrogant then some of the criticisms and opinions I have
read in this thread (oops didn't mean to rhyme there).
I think the problem with people who write poetry reading the poems of others
is that some of them (and you know who you are) tend to judge the merit of
that work on how they would have written it and then pompously judge it as
absolutely "good" or "bad." That's just like telling someone that your way
of masturbating is better then theirs because you use your left hand as
opposed to your right. That may work for you, but it doesn't mean everyone
should be switching hands.
I have found myself unwilling to post more frequently to rap out of fear my
scrawlings may not measure up to the lofty perhaps even jaded opinions of
the more self centered critics that circle this ng the way jackels circle a
herd waiting for a chance to pounce on an animal they see as weaker (again
you know who you are). How absolutely oppressive!
Now that is not to say that there is no such thing as bad poetry. Lord
knows I've written a few and I've even read a few on this ng, some of which
were even written and posted by the jackels I alluded to earlier. Does that
mean the poetry I did not enjoy was beneath me? Above me? No, it simply
means I didn't "get it", or even if I did it just didn't do anything for me.
I have barrels full of respect for anyone who cares enough to try to write a
poem and applause for anyone who decides to share that poem in so open a
forum as this. What I am running out of is patience for self important
critics whose flatulations stink up this ng in a fashion that even the worst
of poetry could not even come close to.
Sorry ... just had to get that off my chest and damn did it feel
gooooooooood!!!!!!!
--
John J. Trusso
Member of the herd
<soz0...@studserv.uni-leipzig.de> wrote in message
news:Pine.A41.3.96.100110...@studserv.uni-leipzig.de...
:
: A DREAM
:
:
: Let me soften the beat
: of your pounding heart
: Let me caress your wounded soul
:
: I have never beheld
: saddened eyes such as yours
: As if funeral bells are to toll
:
: Now forget all your fears
: all the pains of the past
: All the aching thoughts of your dreams
:
: Take my arms if you think
: they are comfort for you
: Take my blood if you think that it heals
:
: Touch my feverish flesh -
: it is longing for you
: See my tears in the nocturnal gloom
:
: I'm a broken soul too
: seeking love in your arms
: I will dare, I will give in to you
:
: --------------------------------------
:
Darny
Wagner Mitchell Family
Max King wrote:
> Some Zealies and Aussies aren't sure if they're
> Americans, Brits or canibals like some of the rest of them.
> At least the Canucks live next door and can visit any time
> to realize it ain't that bad.
Ahem! Er, being detained at the border for 2.5 hours with a busload of
other Canucks en route to a Stones concert in Fargo is not my idea of
good. It was pretty bad and the power-hungry pigs in the uniforms had *no*
sense of humour whatsoever!
B-|
>
> I admired the French Resistance but I wasn't
> much for the pesky socialist lot.
> Ruined every artist that ever wore a beret
> even Monica . . .
>
> tsk, tsk.
>
> -Max (Darn who?)
>
> In article <F5jN5.392491$i5.66...@news1.frmt1.sfba.home.com>,
> "renay" <re...@james.com> wrote:
>
> >
> >"Darny" <Dar...@icqmail.com> wrote in message
> >news:n15b0t4fnil6t93vo...@4ax.com...
> >*****dearest Diâne, once again you're stepping in and spouting
> >without a clue. it is unfortunate sometimes that the entire history
> >of the ng and interaction outside the ng is unavailable to any and
> >everyone who posts here. however, it is very, very telling when
> >someone, such as yourself, *thinks* they're clued in. my point is,
> >you've just made an ass of yourself again. I believe you're not
> >a bit interested in anything more than being a pain in the ass and
> >getting some attention for it. you're one of those personalities
> >before principles people, aren't you?
> >
> >Renay
> >(stay away from this one, Bolduc! I'm keeping him for myself.)
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
>
>
--
Wagner Mitchell Family
Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada
mailto:wagm...@sk.sympatico.ca
http://www3.sk.sympatico.ca/mitchb
Max King
"John" <tru...@spiritone.com> wrote:
>My heavens this was quite a thread to read through, but I sure am glad I did
>read it because it cut right to the very heart of what I like and hate most
>about this ng.
. . . are we uptight here or what? Who pissed evrybody off here . . .
too much angst . . . take a poetry pill for gods sake.
This mysterious >(and you know who you are) <
no pray tell, tell us. I didn' know JR
or anybody else really pissed anybody off that bad
actually it's been quiet around here since we made the
last donation to the canine food reserve.
Who keeps pissing on the wallpaper
and forgets to clean it.
For gods sake people
it's only a poetry newsgroup
write poetry for gods sake
and if people tell you they think it sucks
well take in stride . . . it's a public forum
and maybe it really does
and belongs somewhere else.
So I'm tired of listening to people whimper
because they post poetry and don't like
a response they happen to get from one or two others
among all that read it. It's what this
forum is about. You don't have to like it
and you can say so. How you back your poetic evaluations
is what you can't fool anyone around here about.
Either make sense with the meat
or leave it alone.
-Max (I left the soapbox in the can)
In article <8u4gu...@enews4.newsguy.com>,
Darny
>Since none of the principals wishes to correct the misrepresentation, allow
>me to do so:
Nice bit of damage control there Marek, this is absolutely hilarious
and probably just a tad too late. Too bad Robert or Renay didn't try
to put me straight yesterday, instead of thinking they had made a fool
of me. I have complete anonymity whereas Renay wants to be taken
seriously as a published poet. As this forum goes worldwide, it
makes me wonder how many other people clicked onto the link Robert
posted and came up with the same Liz Renay that I came up with? LOL.
Unfortunately, we are all answerable for our actions in this world
and in this case I haven't anything to lose. Who gives a toss about
my credibility? Renay on the other hand needs to protect hers.
Never, never forget when on usenet that you are playing to a worldwide
audience. There are hundreds of people who lurk in every news group,
never posting a word, they are the silent critics. Some even have the
power to make or break you.
Cheers,
Diâne
Bolduc619
shares her experiences:
>
>Ahem! Er, being detained at the border for 2.5 hours with a busload of
>other Canucks en route to a Stones concert in Fargo is not my idea of
>good. It was pretty bad and the power-hungry pigs in the uniforms had *no*
>sense of humour whatsoever!
>
>B-|
>
Similar here. And I kept trying to explain, hey, I'm an American. You have to
let me in! Great backwards accent, awesome in his tight black uniform. No sense
of humor either. I got one phone call. The boarder guard let us go after
opening the suit case with the Doc Johnson, um, implements.
Hee tee.
David B.
Robert St. James (mei dominum Santiago Matamoros)
: and probably just a tad too late. Too bad Robert or Renay didn't try
: to put me straight yesterday, instead of thinking they had made a fool
: of me.
You pretty much did that for yourself by not doing any research before
having your hissy fit.
I have complete anonymity whereas Renay wants to be taken
: seriously as a published poet.
She is.
As this forum goes worldwide, it
: makes me wonder how many other people clicked onto the link Robert
: posted and came up with the same Liz Renay that I came up with? LOL.
And how many of them were able to tell the difference. Most of them
didn't have such a huge battle-axe to grind.
: Unfortunately, we are all answerable for our actions in this world
: and in this case I haven't anything to lose. Who gives a toss about
: my credibility? Renay on the other hand needs to protect hers.
"When you ain't got nothing, you got nothing to lose." This is the old
"I'm just a fool" defense, probably #13 on my list.
: Never, never forget when on usenet that you are playing to a worldwide
: audience. There are hundreds of people who lurk in every news group,
: never posting a word, they are the silent critics. Some even have the
: power to make or break you.
Yeah, God is reading USEnet all the time. Him and the editors at National
Library of Poetry.
: Cheers,
: Diâne
Guess all this means we can pretty much ignore your opinion from here
on in, eh?
Robert St. James
(like a rolling stooooonnnnne)
Antti Luode
> Yeah, God is reading USEnet all the time. Him and the editors at National
> Library of Poetry.
Surfing at Paul Allen website I noticed that one of his favorite websites
was
deja.. :)
Antti
(giddyap)
The Tin man
news:8u5b95$fiu$1...@nntp9.atl.mindspring.net...
: In article <8u4gu...@enews4.newsguy.com>,
: "John" <tru...@spiritone.com> wrote:
:
: >My heavens this was quite a thread to read through, but I sure am glad I
did
: >read it because it cut right to the very heart of what I like and hate
most
: >about this ng.
:
:
: . . . are we uptight here or what? Who pissed evrybody off here . . .
: too much angst . . . take a poetry pill for gods sake.
<After popping a few poetry pills>
Don't misunderstand me. I agree with you on what you said about moaning.
It is impossible to expect that if you post a poem anywhere, everyone (or
anyone for that matter) will like it. But all the negative vibes that can
build up around something as innocent as a poetry truly astounds me. I wish
I had a load of poetry pills and lava lamps to give to everyone on this ng,
but my anemic finances simply can't support it. Believe me, I am the least
uptight person you're likely to meet. It was something that had to come out
and now that it has, I feel pretty again.
--
John
Who may have taken one too many poetry pills because he has a lampshade
on his head.
j r sherman
>: In article <8u4gu...@enews4.newsguy.com>,
>: "John" <tru...@spiritone.com> wrote:
>:
>: >My heavens this was quite a thread to read through, but I sure am glad I
>did
>: >read it because it cut right to the very heart of what I like and hate
>most
>: >about this ng.
>:
>:
>: . . . are we uptight here or what? Who pissed evrybody off here . . .
>: too much angst . . . take a poetry pill for gods sake.
>
>
>
>Don't misunderstand me. I agree with you on what you said about moaning.
>It is impossible to expect that if you post a poem anywhere, everyone (or
>anyone for that matter) will like it. But all the negative vibes that can
>build up around something as innocent as a poetry truly astounds me. I wish
>I had a load of poetry pills and lava lamps to give to everyone on this ng,
>but my anemic finances simply can't support it. Believe me, I am the least
>uptight person you're likely to meet. It was something that had to come out
>and now that it has, I feel pretty again.
bet yer voting for Nader, huh?
j r sherman
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's
some kind of federal program."
-- George W. Bush, St. Charles, MO, Nov. 2, 2000
Amanda Rachelle Warren
Where the hell did this one come from?
Amanda - who thinks renay is rather good.
On Sun, 5 Nov 2000, Darny wrote:
> >"renay" <re...@james.com> wrote:
>
> >*****how about YOU buying my book, you cheap bitch.
> >
> >Renay
>
> I buy nothing sight unseen I want value for my money
> from what I've seen of your airhead type posts Renay. I'd have to go
> with the thought that you have nothing between the ears.
>
> Diâne
>
>
>
"Let us so endeavor to eat a lot while we're alive so they'll have to bury
us in a piano crate. Boy, will that undertaker be sorry."
- Mark Twain.
renay
*****she's a meowie kinda girrrrl.
Renay
"Amanda Rachelle Warren" <aw31...@oak.cats.ohiou.edu> wrote in message
news:Pine.OSF.3.93.100110...@oak.cats.ohiou.edu...
Ron S
> >
> >
> >Let me soften the beat
> > of your pounding heart
> >Let me caress your wounded soul
> >
> >I have never beheld
> > saddened eyes such as yours
> >As if funeral bells are to toll
> >
> >Now forget all your fears
> > all the pains of the past
> >All the aching thoughts of your dreams
> >
> >Take my arms if you think
> > they are comfort for you
> >Take my blood if you think that it heals
> >
> >Touch my feverish flesh -
> > it is longing for you
> >See my tears in the nocturnal gloom
> >
> >I'm a broken soul too
> > seeking love in your arms
> >I will dare, I will give in to you
> >
> >--------------------------------------
>
>
> heh... meaning, if all of us were given .001 of a cent for each time
the words
> "heart" and "soul" were used in a poem on the usenet, we could all
retire today.
>
> i mean all of us.
>
> find other words for "heart" and "soul".
>
> also, don't rhyme! i say this and some people get mad. well, i'm
right, rhyming
> boxes you into using the most over used words anyone could come up
with, and the
> poem ends up sounding like a bad greeting card.
>
I think you mean that you don't/can't write using rhyme.
Free verse and rhyming verse can both be bad but conversely
can also be good/brilliant.
Rhyme probably seems to box you in because it is a box that you
personally cannot escape from; but others can so don't be such
a pompous ass.
If the only criticism you can offer is, "don't rhyme" then don't
bother it is just childish drivel and makes you sound like an
idiot; that's not say you're not, jrs, it may be a correct
assumption.
Ron S
> so, what have we got here? you want some chick to trust you, to love
you (fool),
> and you're trying to tell her that you're there for here, etc. but
she also has
> fears and anxieties from past relationships (who doesn't), so there's
your poem.
> not some greeting card rhyming crap. write a poem about how she can
trust you,
> and not with some "feverish flesh". think about it, do you really
think
> "feverish flesh" is gonna instill great trust in someone? i don't
think so!
>
> and are you REALLY crying in the gloom? no! no chick is gonna buy
that one.
> pounding heart, funeral tolls, aching dreams??? put a chick in a torn
18th
> century dress on the front of this and it could be a bad romance
novel!
>
> so skip the rhyming, skip the clichés. read some poetry. write a
better poem.
>
> love and kisses,
>
> j r sherman
>
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
j r sherman
certainly, if the poet in question is a master of the english language. almost
all (note the use of almost, this will help you in your response) users of
english do not possess the mastery of the language to do it well. this is why i
say don't use it. most people don't want to take the time it would require to
master the english language and do a rhyming poem well.
when such people do attempt rhyming poems, they end up looking like bad greeting
cards.
> Rhyme probably seems to box you in because it is a box that you
> personally cannot escape from;
bet you're voting for Nader, too.
>but others can so don't be such
>a pompous ass.
and miss the chance not to hear from the likes of you? no chance, pal.
> If the only criticism you can offer is, "don't rhyme" then don't
> bother it is just childish drivel and makes you sound like an
> idiot;
as opposed to the idiotic poem that was the start of all this? if you kept
placing your hand on a red hot stove, i don't think i could be called the idiot
for suggesting that you don't. it really is that simple. and keeping it simple
is a big help for you guys.
>that's not say you're not, jrs, it may be a correct
> assumption.
>
> Ron S
i love you PostPoems people. i really do. life in general is so much more
interesting with you people around.
love and kisses,
j r sherman
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
j r sherman
>
> How does a poet know when she/he has attained this mastery of
>the English language.
it's the Joseph Heller aspect of it all that amuses me the most.
>I know and I presume you do too, that every poet
>over-rates is or her own poetry.
i don't.
>This NG is a good test of whether we
>are correct which in most cases we are not.
sure, whatever you say.
>But to be told over and
>over which many on the NG do, don’t use rhyme is a nonsense answer.
i don't know. is someone wrong if they're told, over and over again, that
touching a hot stove is gonna hurt, is that nonsense?
>I’ve already said don’t bother if this is all you can say but I doubt
>it will stop you saying it.
i'm wondering what makes you think i'm going to stop doing something just
because you've made the request? now that's funny.
>> and miss the chance not to hear from the likes of you? no chance,
>pal.
>>
> The regular responders on this NG seem (to me any way) to be
>trolls.
one man's troll is another man's darling. it's weird how the world works that
way.
he says to the man who's trolling just as much as he's accusing others of doing.
a point always lost on people like you!
>If the poster is not a member of the gang you altomatically
>start spouting flames.
altomatically?
>> as opposed to the idiotic poem that was the start of all this? if you
>kept
>> placing your hand on a red hot stove, i don't think i could be called
>the idiot
>> for suggesting that you don't. it really is that simple. and keeping
>it simple
>> is a big help for you guys.
>>
> I never said the poem was good or bad.
what are we arguing about?
>I had nothing
>constructive to say about it so I kept my thoughts to myself.
so you're going to go to heaven as a noble soul, while i will be in hell trying
to figure out if Dante was right, good for you.
you can throw empty Snapple bottles down at me from heaven. i won't take it
personally.
> Ron S
> East London England
oh. you're English.
i'm sorry, all the Brits are heretics who do not believe in the Holy Roman
church, ergo, you'll all be in hell with me.
and you can't blame this one on me, so just forget it. if Henry VIII had just
wanted a blowjob from Anne Bowlyn none of this would have ever happened.
like i said, don't blame me.
Ryan
>>I like Sherri enjoyed the
>>poem. It may not appeal to you arty farty type poets but as I rank
>>amongst the majority of the population that are not poets but a reader
>>who reads poetry for pleasure, this poem would have commercial appeal
>>to most women.
>
>so are you saying most women only appreciate bad poetry? i would like to think
>that this is not the case.
No, she's saying that most people prefer greeting cards. Which, when you
look at the greeting card sales compared to the poetry book sales, holds
true. Most people prefer stupid platitudes.
Heck; seeing as romance novels sell more than any other genre, this might
just be the best poem ever written! It's got some real commercial appeal.
--
-Ryan
Welcome to America, land
where every child's candy
gets a free X-RAY
"I like beer with flavor," he said. "Microbrews and such."
"I like beer that's cold," said Black Elvis. "I like it
even better if it's free."
-from "Black Elvis"
by Geoffrey Becker
Ryan
>>>So heart and soul has been beaten to death, so what.
>>
>>so shouldn't we strive to be better?
>
>some people have to go with what they know and feel and I'm certainly
>not stopping anyone from striving to do better.
You're argueing with him for trying to get this writer to write better.
You may not be stopping this person from striving to better; I suppose that
is impossible. But you're giving him a false sense of security that his
poem does not need improvement. It does. Actually, it needs more than
improvement, it needs to be Started Over completely, submitted off to Mr.
Dave Null. It's bad poetry.
>>>Every woman
>>>enjoys a little romance in her life.
>>
>>perhaps, but does having a little romance in one's life mean they have to
>>embrace bad poetry?
>
>The average woman like myself wouldn't know "good" poetry from "bad"
>only what appeals to us.
So, you are in effect saying that you are ignorant, yes?
The average sofa jockey doesn't know the difference between Bud Light and
Harp, but if he is planning to become a brewmaster who's only goal is high
quality, he'd better learn fast.
>>>Before you pull the "you don't
>>>know shit from clay about poems" act on me.
>>
>>you didn't write this wretched work.
>
>I should be so clever.
I'm guessing you are; just enough.
>>>I like Sherri enjoyed the
>>>poem. It may not appeal to you arty farty type poets but as I rank
>>>amongst the majority of the population that are not poets but a reader
>>>who reads poetry for pleasure, this poem would have commercial appeal
>>>to most women.
>>
>>so are you saying most women only appreciate bad poetry? i would like to think
>>that this is not the case.
>
>most women are incurrable romantics and do escape into a fantasy world
>when time and circumstances allow, where we can indulge ourselves and
>dream of the happy ever after.
I think we are approaching poetry from different perspectives. I see
poetry as an artform. You see it as a commercial medium. The current
commercial medium for your sort of poetry is called the "greeting card."
Greeting cards, as such, are usually not considered (by poets) to be
poetry. This being rec.arts.poems, I assume that people are trying to
write better _poems_, not greeting card verse. If you are aiming for a
greeting card, it would be best to say so somewhere in the post.
Ryan
>My definition of bad poetry? Unconsidered, unthoughtout, rambling,
>cliched, unfocussed, badly rhymed. Oh, and anything haiku (except
>Senryu Sid, who at least makes some effort to connect to the world
>outside Poetryville).
Gotta prod: Why haiku? A number of good poets have experimented with
haiku and haiku-like forms.
Ryan
>> "renay" <re...@james.com> wrote:
>>
>>*****god save any (wo)man who would settle for this dreck as
>>a substitute for romance in (t)h(i)er life!
>
>Go to the top of the class, this is the type of fantasy that does save
>some women.
From what? Good writing?
Ron S
> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >Let me soften the beat
> >> > of your pounding heart
> >> >Let me caress your wounded soul
> >> >
> >> >I have never beheld
> >> > saddened eyes such as yours
> >> >As if funeral bells are to toll
> >> >
> >> >Now forget all your fears
> >> > all the pains of the past
> >> >All the aching thoughts of your dreams
> >> >
> >> >Take my arms if you think
> >> > they are comfort for you
> >> >Take my blood if you think that it heals
> >> >
> >> >Touch my feverish flesh -
> >> > it is longing for you
> >> >See my tears in the nocturnal gloom
> >> >
> >> >I'm a broken soul too
> >> > seeking love in your arms
> >> >I will dare, I will give in to you
> >> >
> >> >--------------------------------------
> >>
> >right, rhyming
> >> boxes you into using the most over used words anyone could come up
> >with, and the
> >> poem ends up sounding like a bad greeting card.
> >>
> >
> > I think you mean that you don't/can't write using rhyme.
> > Free verse and rhyming verse can both be bad but conversely
> > can also be good/brilliant.
>
> certainly, if the poet in question is a master of the english
language. almost
> all (note the use of almost, this will help you in your response)
users of
> english do not possess the mastery of the language to do it well.
this is why i
> say don't use it. most people don't want to take the time it would
require to
> master the english language and do a rhyming poem well.
>
How does a poet know when she/he has attained this mastery of
the English language. I know and I presume you do too, that every poet
over-rates is or her own poetry. This NG is a good test of whether we
are correct which in most cases we are not. But to be told over and
over which many on the NG do, don’t use rhyme is a nonsense answer.
I’ve already said don’t bother if this is all you can say but I doubt
it will stop you saying it.
> when such people do attempt rhyming poems, they end up looking like
bad greeting
> cards.
>
> > Rhyme probably seems to box you in because it is a box that you
> > personally cannot escape from;
>
> bet you're voting for Nader, too.
>
Who the........is Nader. There is a rum_o_u_r that not every
person on this Ng is American.
> >but others can so don't be such
> >a pompous ass.
>
> and miss the chance not to hear from the likes of you? no chance,
pal.
>
The regular responders on this NG seem (to me any way) to be
trolls. If the poster is not a member of the gang you altomatically
start spouting flames.
> > If the only criticism you can offer is, "don't rhyme" then don't
> > bother it is just childish drivel and makes you sound like an
> > idiot;
>
> as opposed to the idiotic poem that was the start of all this? if you
kept
> placing your hand on a red hot stove, i don't think i could be called
the idiot
> for suggesting that you don't. it really is that simple. and keeping
it simple
> is a big help for you guys.
>
I never said the poem was good or bad. I had nothing
constructive to say about it so I kept my thoughts to myself.
> >that's not say you're not, jrs, it may be a correct
> > assumption.
> >
> > Ron S
>
> i love you PostPoems people. i really do. life in general is so much
more
> interesting with you people around.
>
> love and kisses,
>
> j r sherman
>
Ron S
East London England
Wagner Mitchell Family
Ron S wrote:
>
> The regular responders on this NG seem (to me any way) to be
> trolls. If the poster is not a member of the gang you altomatically
> start spouting flames.
>
Hey bub, even the regulars were newbies at one point in time. We've all
paid our dues.
B-)
Ryan
> How does a poet know when she/he has attained this mastery of
>the English language. I know and I presume you do too, that every poet
>over-rates is or her own poetry. This NG is a good test of whether we
>are correct which in most cases we are not. But to be told over and
>over which many on the NG do, don’t use rhyme is a nonsense answer.
>I’ve already said don’t bother if this is all you can say but I doubt
>it will stop you saying it.
Exact rhyme is frowned upon in modern poetry. Slant/off rhyme is where
it's at, now. Poetry is more image centric.
What the original replier, I think, was getting at is that the poem in
question suffers because the author sacrifices originality and word choice
in order to find things that exactly rhyme. Removed from that impulse, he
might pick better words, might go after images instead of rhyme. Once he
has ground himself into poetry basics, he can return to things like direct
rhyme and play with them, if so he chooses.
>> and miss the chance not to hear from the likes of you? no chance,
>pal.
>>
> The regular responders on this NG seem (to me any way) to be
>trolls. If the poster is not a member of the gang you altomatically
>start spouting flames.
If you want trolls, post your piece over in alt.arts.poetry-comments. At
least the posters here are kind when they tell you that your work ought to
be burned for the good of mankind.
-R
Ron S
> >news:8u5b95$fiu$1...@nntp9.atl.mindspring.net...
> >: "John" <tru...@spiritone.com> wrote:
> >:
> >: >My heavens this was quite a thread to read through, but I sure am
glad I
> >did
> >: >read it because it cut right to the very heart of what I like and
hate
> >most
> >: >about this ng.
> >:
> >:
> >: . . . are we uptight here or what? Who pissed evrybody off
here . . .
> >: too much angst . . . take a poetry pill for gods sake.
> >
> >
> >
> >Don't misunderstand me. I agree with you on what you said about
moaning.
> >It is impossible to expect that if you post a poem anywhere,
everyone (or
> >anyone for that matter) will like it. But all the negative vibes
that can
> >build up around something as innocent as a poetry truly astounds
me. I wish
> >I had a load of poetry pills and lava lamps to give to everyone on
this ng,
> >but my anemic finances simply can't support it. Believe me, I am
the least
> >uptight person you're likely to meet. It was something that had to
come out
> >and now that it has, I feel pretty again.
>
> bet yer voting for Nader, huh?
>
Ron S
> j r sherman
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
-
> "They want the federal government controlling Social Security like
it's
> some kind of federal program."
>
> -- George W. Bush, St. Charles, MO, Nov. 2, 2000
>
>
Ron S
But also free-verse writers can fall into the trap of thinking that
rhythm in a poem automatically makes it a good poem. To get this rhythm
they use words to make it; they to could have used better words but the
rhythm would have suffered for it. My point is that there are
constraints whether your preferance is writing free or rhyme poetry. In
both types the constraints can be used as possitive tools.
Because something is out of vogue it doesn't necessarily mean an
individual is not allowed to use it.
Ron S
> >> and miss the chance not to hear from the likes of you? no chance,
> >pal.
> >>
> > The regular responders on this NG seem (to me any way) to be
> >trolls. If the poster is not a member of the gang you altomatically
> >start spouting flames.
>
> If you want trolls, post your piece over in alt.arts.poetry-
comments. At
> least the posters here are kind when they tell you that your work
ought to
> be burned for the good of mankind.
>
> -R
>
Ron S
> oh. you're English.
>
Not English..............Cockney in fact.
Cor blimey dont ya no nuffin guv.
Ron S
> i'm sorry, all the Brits are heretics who do not believe in the Holy
Roman
> church, ergo, you'll all be in hell with me.
>
> and you can't blame this one on me, so just forget it. if Henry VIII
had just
> wanted a blowjob from Anne Bowlyn none of this would have ever
happened.
>
> like i said, don't blame me.
>
> love and kisses,
>
> j r sherman
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
-
> "They want the federal government controlling Social Security like
it's
> some kind of federal program."
>
> -- George W. Bush, St. Charles, MO, Nov. 2, 2000
>
>
soz0...@studserv.uni-leipzig.de
> in another time, another place, someone did say.....
> >
> >
> >A DREAM
> >
> >
> >Let me soften the beat
> > of your pounding heart
> >Let me caress your wounded soul
> >
> >I have never beheld
> > saddened eyes such as yours
> >As if funeral bells are to toll
> >
> >Now forget all your fears
> > all the pains of the past
> >All the aching thoughts of your dreams
> >
> >Take my arms if you think
> > they are comfort for you
> >Take my blood if you think that it heals
> >
> >Touch my feverish flesh -
> > it is longing for you
> >See my tears in the nocturnal gloom
> >
> >I'm a broken soul too
> > seeking love in your arms
> >I will dare, I will give in to you
> >
> >--------------------------------------
>
> with heart and soul you have no control.
>
> heh... meaning, if all of us were given .001 of a cent for each time the words
> "heart" and "soul" were used in a poem on the usenet, we could all retire today.
>
> i mean all of us.
>
> find other words for "heart" and "soul".
>
> also, don't rhyme! i say this and some people get mad. well, i'm right, rhyming
> boxes you into using the most over used words anyone could come up with, and the
> poem ends up sounding like a bad greeting card.
>
> so, what have we got here? you want some chick to trust you, to love you (fool),
> and you're trying to tell her that you're there for here, etc. but she also has
> fears and anxieties from past relationships (who doesn't), so there's your poem.
> not some greeting card rhyming crap. write a poem about how she can trust you,
> and not with some "feverish flesh". think about it, do you really think
> "feverish flesh" is gonna instill great trust in someone? i don't think so!
>
> and are you REALLY crying in the gloom? no! no chick is gonna buy that one.
> pounding heart, funeral tolls, aching dreams??? put a chick in a torn 18th
> century dress on the front of this and it could be a bad romance novel!
>
> so skip the rhyming, skip the clichés. read some poetry. write a better poem.
>
>
>
> love and kisses,
>
> j r sherman
>
Just for your information, I am a woman, no man (is that a problem to
you), and maybe I'm old-fashioned in my views on touching poetry, but
that's an individual question. I like rhymes, and I like 18th century
literature and lyrics.
Well, I didn't call myself a writer or poet, I am not such. And forgive me
that I am not able to use the English language in all its nuances, but I'm
a German (don't tell me now I should write German then, cause it always
sounds terrible then).
Anyway, thanks for your advice, I'll see if I can ever use it.
The writer
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------
E Selow
<Pine.A41.3.96.100110...@studserv.uni-leipzig.de>...
On 3 Nov 2000, j r sherman wrote:
> so skip the rhyming, skip the clichés. read some poetry. write a better
poem.
>
> love and kisses,
>
> j r sherman
...Well, I didn't call myself a writer or poet, I am not such.
***Then why the signature below?
And forgive me
that I am not able to use the English language in all its nuances, but I'm
a German
***Nothing to be forgiven here. Once you decide to write in English, you
must expect that people criticize what you've actually written, and it's
not a good idea to ask for consideration because you're German. Better
accept the crit and learn from it - f'rinstance this one by j r was
exceptionally friendly, compared to what we see sometimes, and useful too.
(don't tell me now I should write German then, cause it always
sounds terrible then).
***I know. Still, in German it might sound as terrible to you as it does
to others in English.
Anyway, thanks for your advice, I'll see if I can ever use it.
The writer
***Greetings to Lääibzsch :)
Elvira
rikr...@my-deja.com
> Gotta prod: Why haiku? A number of good poets have experimented
> with haiku and haiku-like forms.
>
> --
> -Ryan
Hi, Ryan
It's a personal hatred, that I've fostered for decades - ever since
some misinformed English teacher spent a couple of lessons trying to
convince the class that 17 syllables could be both deep and meaningful,
and that we must be a particularly thick class if we couldn't see the
truth and beauty conjoured up by contrasting two completely unrelated
images.
I don't get cryptic crosswords, either. I mean, how can people get
pleasure from working out that "GSGE (9,4)" means "scrambled eggs"???
Rik, bemused and knee deep
Rik Roots
> > East London England
>
>
>
As long as he's not one of those Hackney binmen who have failed to
collect my garbage for the last 3 weeks...
> and you can't blame this one on me, so just forget it. if Henry VIII
> had just wanted a blowjob from Anne Bowlyn none of this would
> have ever happened.
Our Anne had a secret weapon - once she had introduced Harry to the
six-fingered hand shandy, the course of history was irrevocably set.
> like i said, don't blame me.
>
>
> love and kisses,
>
> j r sherman
Rik, truely knee deep
--
So, soon they topped the hill, and raced together
Over an open stretch of herb and heather
Exposed. And instantly the whole sky burned
With fury against them; earth set sudden cups
In thousands for their blood; and the green slope
Chasmed and steepened sheer to infinite space.
- taken from "Spring Offensive" by Wilfred Owen
Peter J Ross
E Selow <sis...@t-online.de> wrote in message
news:8u9g0q$b4e$00$1...@news.t-online.com...
<mostly snipped>
> ***Nothing to be forgiven here. Once you decide to write in English, you
> must expect that people criticize what you've actually written, and it's
> not a good idea to ask for consideration because you're German. Better
> accept the crit and learn from it - f'rinstance this one by j r was
> exceptionally friendly, compared to what we see sometimes, and useful too.
>
>
> Elvira
>
A German writing English? Consider:
What pleasure, God! of like a flame to born,
A virteous fire, that ne'er to vice can turn.
What volupty! when trembling in my arms,
The bosom of my maid my bosom warmeth!
Perpetual kisses of my lips o'erflow,
In holy embrace mighty virtue show.
When I then, rapt, in never felt extase,
My maid! I say, and she, my dearest! says.
When then, my heart, of love and virtue hot,
Cries: come, ye angels! Come! See and envy me not.
J W von Goethe
(Admittedly, he was only seventeen. All the "typos" are his.)
PJR
j r sherman
>Just for your information, I am a woman,
so, do you think you should get a job just based on that information???
KIDDING, heh, just joking around.
>no man (is that a problem to you),
not unless you're a lesbian....
KIDDING, i'm just kidding, heh, just a little american humor. heh...
really.
okay, let's chill out.
>and maybe I'm old-fashioned in my views on touching poetry, but
>that's an individual question.
true.
>I like rhymes, and I like 18th century
>literature and lyrics.
so do i. i like antique stain glass, i like high renaissance art, but i can't
create any of that stuff, or, if i did want to create any of that stuff i'd
probably have to study it for quite awhile before i got any good at it.
>Well, I didn't call myself a writer or poet, I am not such.
so it would seem.
>And forgive me
>that I am not able to use the English language in all its nuances,
hey, neither can i.
>but I'm
>a German (don't tell me now I should write German then, cause it always
>sounds terrible then).
then there's the catch, babe. because if you want to write good poetry in
english that rhymes, you're going to have to learn english, and learn it well.
it's just the way it works. and those rules aren't mine.
and yes, there are rules to this. there are rules to everything.
>Anyway, thanks for your advice, I'll see if I can ever use it.
feel free, do as you wish, of course. you posted it on a newsgroup looking for
comments. i gave them to you.
good luck.
love and kisses,
j r sherman
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron S
> >
> As long as he's not one of those Hackney binmen who have failed to
> collect my garbage for the last 3 weeks...
>
Jesus....I swear I showered has soon as I finished work and yet I just
can't get rid of that smell! I've heard of smellyvision but never
smellyinternet. Amazingly small world, "init".
Ron S
Long lost brother of L.Donigan
Ghost
---
"It is so much easier to live placidly and complacently. Of course, to
live placidly and complacently is not to live at all. . . ."
--- Jack London