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COULD SOMEBODY JUST TAKE A MOMENT TO CRITIQUE THIS PLEASE?
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mystic
Jun 29, 1999, 3:00:00 AM6/29/99
to
AWKWARD WIND
We are walking;
it tousles hair
across my eyes, across the white,
slicing one tear
from many.
We are riding, windows open;
it is rough
against my cupped palm,
rejecting my caress
again and again.
We are trying to sleep
in the cloudless moon;
it fidgets each window
and shakes the panes
until I think something must break.
When it sorrows,
it stings.
When it pleads,
it sings.
j r sherman
Jun 29, 1999, 3:00:00 AM6/29/99
to
what's wrong with lee's comments?
j r sherman
Lee Tracy
Jun 29, 1999, 3:00:00 AM6/29/99
to
In article <377934...@lcc.net>, mystic says...
>
>AWKWARD WIND
>
>We are walking;
>it tousles hair
>across my eyes, across the white,
>slicing one tear
>from many.
>
>
>We are riding, windows open;
>it is rough
>against my cupped palm,
>rejecting my caress
>again and again.
>
>
>We are trying to sleep
>in the cloudless moon;
>it fidgets each window
>and shakes the panes
>until I think something must break.
>
>When it sorrows,
>it stings.
>When it pleads,
>it sings.
>
>AWKWARD WIND
>
>We are walking;
>it tousles hair
>across my eyes, across the white,
>slicing one tear
>from many.
>
>
>We are riding, windows open;
>it is rough
>against my cupped palm,
>rejecting my caress
>again and again.
>
>
>We are trying to sleep
>in the cloudless moon;
>it fidgets each window
>and shakes the panes
>until I think something must break.
>
>When it sorrows,
>it stings.
>When it pleads,
>it sings.
already did. now sit down and be a good mystic.
lRt
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