ASYLUM *****
and/or www.mantra.com/jai
Asylum
Thursday, March 25, 2010
ASYLUM IN GREAT BRITAIN -- THE BEST THING EVER!!
NOTICE TO ALL MUSLIM AIRPLANE HIJACKERS, GYPSIES, POLISH RAPISTS,
ALBANIAN CHILD ABUSERS, SOUTH AMERICAN DRUG SMUGGLERS, PAKISTANI
SUICIDE SQUADS, AFGHAN TALIBAN MEMBERS ETC
Let me see if I've got this right...
IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD
LABOUR..
IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED
INDEFINITELY.
IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT
IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE JAILED.
IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM
AGAIN.
IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE BRANDED A
SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.
IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO
POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.
IF YOU CROSS THE THAI BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE IMMEDIATELY DEPORTED
AFTER A SPELL IN THE MONKEY HOUSE.
IF YOU CROSS THE BRITISH BORDER ILLEGALLY; YOU GET A JOB, A DRIVERS
LICENCE, SOCIAL INSURANCE CARD, MONEY FROM SOCIAL SECURITY, FOOD
STAMPS, CREDIT CARDS, SUBSIDISED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE, FREE
EDUCATION AND FREE HEALTH CARE.
Good day and welcome to a brand new edition of . . ..
'ASYLUM'.
Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting
competition:
HIJACK AN AIRLINER
And win
A COUNCIL HOUSE!
We've already given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands
of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor,
The British Taxpayer...
And don't forget, we're now the fastest growing game on the planet.
Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid British
Passport, and you only need one word of English:
'ASYLUM'
Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits
starting at UKP 180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more
begging, mugging, burgling and accosting drivers at traffic lights.
This competition is open to everyone buying a ticket or stowing away
on one of our partner airlines, ferry companies or Euro star.
No application ever refused -- reasonable or unreasonable.
All you have to do is destroy all your papers
And remember the magic password:
'ASYLUM'
A few years ago, 140 members of a Taliban family from Afghanistan
were flown Goat Class from Kabul to our international gateway at
Stansted where local law enforcement officers were on hand to fast-
track them to their luxury UKP 200-a-night rooms in the fabulous four
star Hilton Hotel... They joined tens of thousands of other lucky
winners already staying in hotels all over Britain ...... Our most
popular destinations also include the White Cliffs of Dover and the
world famous Toddington Services area, in Historic Bedfordshire.
If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget, there's no
need to phone a friend or ask the audience...
Just apply for legal aid.
Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counsellors
Are waiting to help -- for FREE!
It won't cost you a penny.
And...
It could change your life forever.
So play today.
Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet
Activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil
tigers, Bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali
guerrillas...the list is endless
EVERYONE IS WELCOME - INCLUDING
ALL YOUR OWN WIVES AND CHILDREN
COME ON DOWN!
Get along to the airport!
Get along to the lorry park!
Get along to the ferry terminal!
Don't stop in Germany or France!
All European countries will willingly speed you on your way!
Come straight to Britain
And you are:
*** GUARANTEED ***
To be one of tens of thousands of lucky winners
In the easiest game on earth.
Everyone's a winner,
When they play
'ASYLUM'
PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO EVERY BRITISH TAXPAYER YOU KNOW!
Forwarded message ends
Jai Maharaj, Jyotishi
Om Shanti
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