Slate: "High-definition porn has arrived."
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Avert Your Eyes!
High-definition porn has arrived. That's bad news for HDTV.
By Brendan I. Koerner
Posted Monday, Feb. 2, 2004, at 2:52 PM PT
Anyone who caught yesterday's Patriots triumph on a high-definition
television can attest to the technology's upside. An HDTV's ultrasharp
pictures are a boon when it comes to spying the precise contours of
Joe Andruzzi's gnarled fingers. But that degree of clarity isn't
necessarily a plus when watching less spontaneous fare. Viewers who
think that, say, CSI star Eric Szmanda is a paragon of male perfection
might not like the HDTV shock of realizing that揺orrors!葉he
heartthrob sports layers of orange makeup, not to mention a
dermatological blemish or two.
If HDTV is sharp enough to reveal a G-rated entertainer's humanity,
the technology's harsh gaze must be all the worse for those who make
their livings in the nude. So when DirecTV announced last week that it
would be broadcasting pay-per-view adult movies in HDTV, starting last
night after the Super Bowl, one had to wonder whether the company's
decision-makers actually bothered to watch some samples. A big part of
the allure of porn預t least the relatively highbrow variety that
DirecTV shows擁s that the participants appear to share few of our
species' physical foibles, thanks to clever lighting, makeup, and
surgery. Your spouse may suffer from a dearth of gym time or the
occasional bout of acne, but Kobe Tai's on-screen personas are always
in tip-top shape. (Caveat clicker: Kobe Tai's home page is relatively
tame, but it contains links to much raunchier sites.)
DirecTV is obviously familiar with porn's track record as a driver of
nascent technologies. The adult industry's decision to embrace VHS in
the early 1980s, for example, helped kill Sony's Betamax, despite the
latter format's superior quality. The infant Internet grew quickly
thanks to erotic chat rooms and bulletin boards to the chagrin of AOL,
which sought to sell the online world as family-friendly. Since fewer
than 6 percent of American living rooms boast HDTV sets and many of
the most popular network shows (e.g., The Simple Life) still don't use
HD cameras, the industry understands that viewers need a nudge to join
the revolution.
But it's doubtful that HD porn will nudge viewers in the right
direction. The HDTV microscope could kill the fantasy that the adult
industry peddles. Hollywood is already learning this lesson the hard
way: HDTV has revealed that some glamorous stars look a lot more
pedestrian than we've been led to believe. And the makeup tricks that
protect the aging and less-than-perfect are easy to spot in HDTV. When
technology pundit Phillip Swann first saw the Charlie's Angels movie
in HDTV, he was taken aback by Cameron Diaz's appearance. "Diaz looks
like a different person," he marveled in the pages of Television Week,
noting that her face has been ravaged by acne over the years. "She's
still very pretty. But to be very frank, I doubt that she would make
People's 'Most Beautiful' list."
Of course, as long as they've got some bedroom skills, adult
performers needn't be absolute world-beaters in the looks department,
so they tend to be a lot less lovely than your average Hollywood star.
In addition, they end up revealing a lot more nooks and crannies than
their mainstream peers, which means many more physical flaws can wind
up on-screen. That's no big deal for peddlers of lowbrow or amateur
smut, in which bad bodies are the norm. But keep in mind that DirecTV
will be broadcasting films from two sources, Playboy and the Spice
Channel, both of which pride themselves on being vendors of classy
porn. The action on Spice is tame compared to what you might find at
the local XXX store, and the stars typically sport toned, pneumatic
bodies without visible shortcomings. If Cameron Diaz's otherworldly
reputation can't survive HDTV intact, what chance does the Spice
Channel's talent have? And will HDTV customers readily fork over
$14.99 per three-hour movie block once they realize that the naughty
sorority sister their order conjures up has amateurish implants, and
the lucky TV repairman's skin redefines the word "leathery"?
HDTV isn't impossible to fool, and porn producers can surely figure
out some ways to beat the technology's realism. To better conceal
whatever facial or follicular quirks Jennifer Aniston might possess,
Friends painted its primary set in light purple葉he resulting aura
supposedly gives the cast a healthy glow, even in HDTV. And makeup
artists are already experimenting with airbrushes, misting their
clients' faces with thin glazes that don't look too pancakey.
All of these tricks cost money, however, and the adult industry is
notoriously stingy about raising its production costs. DirecTV may be
right to bet on HDTV's eventual success, but it's unlikely that adult
movies will hasten that future. Even if the average price of an
HD-ready set dips below $1,000 some day, porn connoisseurs may still
prefer their thrills the old-fashioned way謡ith the gritty details
obscured by strategic lighting and makeup. When it comes to televised
porn, technological ignorance may be bliss.
Brendan I. Koerner is a fellow at the New America Foundation.
Article URL: http://slate.msn.com/id/2094788/
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