Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen Spoilers
Tim Bruening
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This movie features a continuation of the battle between the
Autobot/U.S. alliance and the Decepticons. Joint Autobot/U.S. military
teams battle the Decepticons as the Decepticons (now led by a robot
known as "The Fallen") seek to suck the energy out of the sun!
The Autobots are willing to fight against the Decepticons, but are not
willing to share their weapons technology with Earth, fearing what
humans would do with it. The Autobots also continue to proclaim their
refusal to kill any humans. This would explain why the Autobots don't
help us in our war against Al-Qaida (which is after all composed of
human beings). I assume that Presidents Bush and Obama would have asked
the Autobots to help us out against Al-Qaida and other terrorist groups.
I wonder if we could get the Autobots to help us find Osama bin Laden so
that we could then kill him (What would the Autobots say about killing
humans indirectly?). Can the Autobots turn themselves into insect
analogues the way the Decepticons can?
Since the Autobots like to disguise themselves as cars, I propose that
Obama ask them to give us advice on how to increase the fuel efficiency
of our cars. After all, to disguise themselves as cars, the Autobots
would need detailed information on how cars are constructed. I also
propose that Obama ask the Autobots for tips on renewable energy
technologies. I figure that the Autobots should be willing to share
non-military technology with us.
Does Bumblebee burn gasoline when he's in car form?
Great moments: A sliver of the All Spark turning the Witwicky kitchen
appliances into little Transformers.
The Autobot hanger.
The Decepticons taking over a military communications satellite, thus
overhearing a Presidential aide talk about the locations of Megatron and
the military's sliver of All Spark!
The discussions (by the Presidential aide) over whether or not to tell
the Autobots to take a hike (since they have brought their feud to our
planet) and whether to give Sam to the Decepticons in an effort to
appease them.
Sam's roommates knowledge of the Transformers.
Sam's girlfriend capturing a small Decepticon.
Sam's girlfriend catching Sam in bed with a Decepticon woman (who has a
metal tail)! This really takes the cake as far as infidelity goes!
In the first movie, a Decepticon meteor hits a well lit stadium.
However, I didn't see anyone on the field, so why would the stadium be
lit?
Tim Bruening
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A small Decepticon getting its feet caught in mouse traps just before
Sam's girlfriend captures it.
How does Sam's girlfriend get the suitcase that contains her Decepticon
past the baggage screeners undetected? Wouldn't the X-rays reveal it?
Sam's new would be Decepticon girlfriend choking him with her metal
tougue.
A Decepticon helicopter lifting the car occupied by Sam and his friends
into the air.
As they flee from alien robots, Sam and his girlfriend hold hands.
Wouldn't that slow them down?
Tim Bruening
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About half way through the movie, the Decepticons reveal their existence
to the world and demand that Sam be turned over to them. I bet that
Republicans will be demanding to know why Obama kept the alien threat a
secret, and lied to the American people.
This movie reflects badly on Obama. He sends in an aide who entertains
the possibility of turning Sam over to the Decepticons to appease them,
and orders the soldiers who have been working with the Autobots to stand
down, even tearing a rank insignia off of their leader.
The aide's willingness to persue a diplomatic solution is in line with
Obama's declared willingness to talk to our Earthside enemies! (If you
are willing to talk to Iran and North Korea, why not talk to Megatron as
well?).
Great moments: A vintage plane being outed as a Decepticon, who later
declares that it had changed to the Autobot side.
Tim Bruening
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Great moments: A protagonist TASERing a museam guard who is handing him
toilet paper, then tripping over his lowered pants and TASERing himself!
TB
The two Transformers movies establish that the Transformers are
significantly radioactive. In Transformers I, Section 7 determines
that Sam Witwicky has been in contact with Transformers by detecting
14 Rads of radiation. In Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Sam's
team outs a Decepticon airplane by detecting its radiation. Does this
mean that Sam will eventually get cancer from association with
Bumblebee?
Tim Bruening
Amazing coincidence: The first Transformers movie features a Transformers
artifact called "The All Spark", which looks like a cube. It fell on Earth,
and the Decepticons and Autobots followed it. The 2nd movie features
another Transformers artifact called "The Matrix", which can bring dead
Transformers back to life and also power a device which can extract the
energy from Earth's sun! (I'm not sure if it would make the sun explode or
make it go dark). I'm amazed that two Transformers artifacts should happen
to find their way to the very same planet!
I predict that Obama will swing the Egyptian people solidly against Al-Qaida
by blaming the destruction of an Egyptian pyramid on Al-Qaida.
I also predict that in TRansformers 3, the Decepticons will ally themselves
with Al-Qaida to destroy the U.S. At least two Decepticons survived the
events of the 2nd movie. This will force the Autobots to break their rule
against harming humans.
If you were President, what would you ask the Autobots to do?
First movie: Optimus Prime plugs the All Spark into his chest, killing him.
How was Optimus Prime able to send a message at the end of that movie
inviting other Autobots to Earth, and then star in the 2nd movie?
TB
After several viewings of the 1st Transformers movie, I finally saw
what Sam did: He plugged the All Spark into MEGATRON'S chest! How did
he know that the All Spark would automatically kill any Transformer
whose chest it was plugged into, and be destroyed itself, without said
Transformer having to will such destruction and death.