The Movie Report#97, 6/19/97
Michael Dequina
T H E M O V I E R E P O R T
#97
JUNE 19, 1997
Congratulations Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls...
For links to the official websites of all the current films, past reviews,
live MovieChat, my exclusive celebrity photos, and more, visit Mr. Brown's
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all movies graded out of four stars (****)
---
M O V I E S
NEW RELEASES
Batman & Robin (PG-13) * 1/2 <see premiere coverage below>
Holy Bat-astrophe! The Batman film franchise as we know it is dead,
thanks to Batman & Robin, director Joel Schumacher and screenwriter Akiva
Goldsman's campy and most disrespectfully lighthearted reinterpretation of
Bob Kane's Dark Knight.
To most clearly and thoroughly address all that is wrong with this
Bat-flick, I will first review the film character by character:
Bruce Wayne/Batman (George Clooney): Clooney has gone on record
that his aim in taking on the role of Batman was to wipe off the scowl from
under the cowl and lighten up the Caped Crusader. Big mistake. What seems
to be lost on Clooney, Schumacher, and Goldsman is that angst and brooding
is what makes Batman Batman--strip away that and you have in effect stripped
away the meat of the character, not to mention the whole motivation behind
millionaire Bruce's nocturnal adventures in a rubber rodent suit. So what
Clooney serves up is a not-too-interesting guy with a grin perpetually glued
onto his face, a flat, distant character we have absolutely no insight into
whatsoever.
Dick Grayson/Robin (Chris O'Donnell): I am not a Robin fan; I never
have been, and I probably never will. However, despite a shaky, whiny
beginning, O'Donnell made me tolerate the Boy Wonder by the end of
Batman Forever by simply calming down. In Batman & Robin, though, Dick
and Robin are back in ultrawhiny mode, playing up the petty jealousy and
brash youth and naivete which are the very characteristics which annoy
Robin-haters the most. Presumably, the audience is supposed to sympathize
with Dick/Robin's frustration with not being treated as an adult by
Bruce/Batman, but based on his behavior in the film, there is no reason for
Bruce/Batman to treat Dick/Robin as anything but the whiny kid he comes off as.
Barbara Wilson/Batgirl (Alicia Silverstone): The big problem with
Batgirl is that no one figured out how to fit her into the story. Unlike
the introduction of Dick/Robin in Forever, which tied directly into the
storyline with Two-Face, Barbara, Alfred's (Michael Gough) niece, simply
turns up on the Wayne Manor doorstep in act one and, in a most superfluous
subplot, is revealed a closet biker chick in act two. There is an attempt
at convergence in act three, when Barbara becomes Batgirl (though her
ear-less getup makes her more resemble Robingirl) and aids the dynamic duo
in their cause, but her most significant contribution is pulling an Ariana
Richards in Jurassic Park (that is,
hack into a computer). The zaftig Silverstone is a good enough sport, but
she never appears completely comfortable as either biker Barbara or brainy
Barbara (or, for that matter, in her rubber costume).
Mr. Freeze (Arnold Schwarzenegger): The filmmakers seem the most
confused with how do deal with Dr. Victor Fries. Schumacher and Goldsman
use the tragic origin for the character from Batman: The Animated
Series--Dr. Fries experimented with cryogenics in an effort to save his
terminally ill wife, Nora (played by supermodel Vendela), but a lab mishap
made him unable to survive in non-freezing temperatures. Instead of leaving
it at that, in an apparent concession to the casting of Schwarzenegger in
the role, Mr. Freeze is a wisecracker, which is totally at odds with the
tragic depiction that is also presented. What results is a most jarring
mess of a character. Case in point: one early scene shows a somber Freeze
wistfully watching old home movies of him
and his wife. Suddenly, an underling comes in and interrupts his viewing
with some important news. Freeze turns around in his chair, freezes the guy
with his freezing gun, and quips, "I hate it when people talk during the
movie." Just what exactly are Schumacher and company going after here?
Poison Ivy (Uma Thurman): The one character that is the slightest bit
done right is that of seductive eco-terrorist Pamela Isley--but it's more
due to Thurman's lively performance than anything done by the filmmakers.
Like Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman in Batman Returns (though not nearly as
good), Thurman has a firm grasp on the key to her character: she's not a
vamp, she's a natural wallflower acting like a vamp--thus the act is that
much more extreme. Thurman pulls it off beautifully, but, in the end, even
she's not immune to Schumacher and Goldsman's camp. For a gifted scientist,
her master plan--to populate the world with toothed, tongued plants that
come straight out of Little
Shop of Horrors--is idiotic.
Bane (Jeep Swenson): Idiotic doesn't quite cover what is done to the
character of Bane, who definitely is the most ruined character in this film
treatment. In the Batman comics, Bane is Batman's ultimate challenge--not
only is he physically stronger than Bruce Wayne, he is also smarter. The
problem is that the venom which coarses through his veins makes him crazy.
In Batman & Robin, the only thing left of Bane comic fans know and love is
his bulk and the venom. Bane is nothing more than a generic, grunting,
intelligence-impaired, muscled henchman to Poison Ivy. The saddest thing
about the raping of Bane, he being a rather recent addition to the Batman
comic universe, is that most
mainstream moviegoers won't even know that anything has been done wrong.
Schumacher and Goldsman's wrongdoing do not end with the characters.
Their most heinous crime is the overwhelming atmosphere of camp, from Batman
pulling out a Bat-credit card during an auction to Mr. Freeze's bunny
slippers, polar bear pajamas, and freezer full of frozen dinners.
Schumacher has said that he wanted to "put some 'comic' back in comic book,"
but he forgets what comic book he's dealing with--Batman, which is a "comic"
book in name only. In camping everything up, Schumacher, who claims to be a
comic book fan, just reinforces the most widely held stereotype about
comics--that they're just for kids. The irony is, of course, that the film
Batman & Robin is more juvenile than any Batman comic you'd find on the
stands today.
I can go on about what is wrong with Batman & Robin, but I must give
some credit where credit is due. B&R does boast the most impressive visual
effects of the series; effects supervisor John Dykstra (of the recently
closed Warner Bros. effects house) comes up with some very convincing for
Freeze's freezing weapons and Ivy's pheremone dust. Production designer
Barbara Ling provides another striking vision of Gotham, with its towering
buildings and statues. And, yes, I guess I can say something "positive"
about Schumacher's work--he's an equal opportunity exploiter. Not only are
we treated to a Batman and Robin suiting-up sequence filled with butt,
crotch, and chest shots, their female counterpart is similarly exploited
when she gets her chance to suit up.
The most telling indication of Batman & Robin's shoddiness is the
audience reaction at the screening I attended. When the lights dimmed and
the curtain rose, the crowd cheered, and it applauded the names of the five
main stars. When the film ended with the image of Batman, Robin, and
Batgirl running in front of the Batsignal, there was a smattering of tepid
applause, but mostly boos. Let the Bat-lash begin.
Men in Black (PG-13) *** 1/2
UFOs. Aliens. Slime. Will Smith. What more can you ask for? In
the case of last year's Independence Day, a self-awareness of its inherent
ridiculousness would have helped. That problem does not befall Smith's
latest bout with creatures from outer space, Barry Sonnenfeld's witty and
fun sci-fi-action-comedy Men in Black.
In this adaptation of Lowell Cunningham's obscure Marvel/Malibu
comic, Smith stars as a New York cop who is recruited by mysterious Agent K
(Tommy Lee Jones) into the ultrasecret underground group known as the Men in
Black, which overlook intergalactic relations. It is up to Agent K and the
newly christened Agent J to prevent an alien bug disguised as a farmer
(Vincent D'Onofrio) from stealing a galaxy and thereby causing an
interplanetary war and, in turn, the destruction of earth.
If this sounds a tad confusing to you, you're not alone. MiB's
biggest problem is its story--the primary plot cooked up by screenwriter Ed
Solomon is introduced fairly late in the game and never completely adds up
(just what is the deal with the bag of marbles at the end?). But by the
time the nominal plot takes center stage, the film has already won you over
with the script's witty one-liners, self-effacing sense of humor, and bashes
at pop culture (Sylvester Stallone is skewered in one of the more inspired
gags); and its imaginative production design (by Bo Welch) and visual
effects (supervised by Eric Brevig). Most impressive, however, are the
alien makeup effects designed by Rick Baker. The creatures look like
exactly that--living, breathing alien creatures and not animatronic puppets.
Especially convincing is an alien infant whom J delivers; slinky, squidlike,
and covered in slime, the expressive baby alien succeeds in doing what the
best human infants do onscreen--look cute and elicit "aw"s.
As impressive a technical achievement MiB is, it would not have
worked without a strong lead duo, and Jones and Smith make a great team.
Smith's natural, infectious ebullience plays off well against the stoic
Jones, who is at his deadpan best, engaging in some ridiculous situations
with the straightest of faces. It is one thing to wear a straight face
while having a heated discussion with an uncooperative dog, but it's quite a
whole other level of achievement to do that and convincingly appear to treat
the situation with the gravest of seriousness. Jones's K never shakes off
his grim face even when he is joking, making his performance that much more
effective and funny. D'Onofrio has some great slapstick moments as the
insect who hasn't quite got the hang of wearing a human skin suit, and
though she's underused, Linda Fiorentino, as coroner Dr. Laurel Weaver, fits
quite snugly with the team of Jones and Smith.
Men in Black is certain not to reach the stratospheric box office
heights of Smith's bountiful bout with aliens last summer, but in shedding
the self-importance and jingoism of the two-hour-plus ID4 and taking on a
most welcome self-aware sense of humor, the lean, mean, 98-minute MiB is not
just a better film, it's also a lot more fun.
IN BRIEF
Speed 2: Cruise Control (PG-13) **
As the trailer for Jan DeBont's sequel to his 1994 adrenaline rush
says, "Since the last time we saw Annie (Sandra Bullock), some things have
changed." She still has no last name (some reviews have stated her full
name as Annie Porter though that name is never given in the film itself),
and she has traded in her daredevil SWAT team beau, Jack Traven (Keanu
Reeves in the original), for... another daredevil SWAT team beau, Alex Shaw
(Jason Patric). But, as the trailer also says, "Some things haven't." Alex
takes Annie on a romantic oceanliner getaway, but their bliss is short-lived
when a lone man--a disgruntled ex-employee of the cruise line named Geiger
(Willem Dafoe)--takes over the ship, sending it on a high-speed crash course
into an oil tanker and, later, an island resort town.
With its breakneck pace from elevator to bus to subway, Speed lived
up to its title. Speed 2 also lives up to its title, but its
subtitle--cruise control indeed, as in slow and phoned-in, coasting by on
what is passed off as thrills. Despite all the explosions and fireworks
(including a most impressive five-minute crash sequence), Speed 2, while
somewhat diverting and watchable, is never exciting. Unlike the original,
which immediately dove into action from the first scene, it takes a good
twenty-plus minutes for Geiger's scheme to get off the ground. Also unlike
the original, which had the sense to not delve into any other bus passenger
save for Annie, a good deal of time is wasted on peripheral characters we
could not care less about. Not that the main characters are anything to
crow about, either--Bullock predictably does an able job of reprising her
starmaking role, albeit less interesting this time around for the sheer fact
that she isn't given anything of substance to do; Patric is adequate if
run-of-the-mill as the action hero; but Dafoe's villain never comes off as
much of a threat--he is more nuts than dangerously psycho.
Worst of all, though, the seams of the last-minute Alex-for-Jack
rewrite really shine through. For instance, Glenn Plummer reprises his role
as the commuter whose car Jack used to get on the bus; this time, Alex uses
his expensive boat to get onto Geiger's seaplane. Plummer makes a "comic"
reference to the therapy he underwent as a result of his experience with the
LAPD, but it's forced. Without the character of Jack in the scene, doing
exactly what he did in the first film to exactly the same person, the whole
point of the joke is lost.
IN CURRENT RELEASE
(full reviews of the following at Mr. Brown's Movie Site and past MRs)
Addicted to Love (R) *** <MR#93, 5/22/97>
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (PG-13) ** 1/2 <MR#90, 5/1/97>
Bliss (R) * 1/2 <MR#95, 6/5/97>
Brassed Off (R) *** <MR#94, 5/29/97>
Breakdown (R) *** <MR#91, 5/8/97>
Buddy (PG) ** 1/2 <MR#95, 6/5/97>
Chasing Amy (R) **** <MR#88, 4/17/97>
Con Air (R) *** 1/2 <MR#95, 6/5/97>
Fathers' Day (PG-13) ** 1/2 <MR#91, 5/8/97>
The Fifth Element (PG-13) *** <MR#90, 5/1/97>
Irma Vep *** <MR#93, 5/22/97>
Liar Liar (PG-13) *** <MR#85, 3/25/97>
The Lost World: Jurassic Park (PG-13) *** <MR#94, 5/29/97>
Night Falls on Manhattan (R) *** <MR#95, 6/5/97>
Romy and Michele's High School Reunion (R) *** <MR#89, 4/24/97>
Trial and Error (PG-13) ** <MR#94, 5/29/97>
ON THE HORIZON
FRIDAY
Batman & Robin (PG-13) * 1/2 <see above review and premiere coverage below>
Director Joel Schumacher and screenwriter Akiva Goldsman kill the
Bat franchise with this campy, mind-numbing adventure pitting the Caped
Crusader (George Clooney) and the Boy Wonder (Chris O'Donnell)--with the
help of Batgirl (Alicia Silverstone)--against Mr. Freeze (Arnold
Schwarzenegger), Poison Ivy (Uma Thurman), and Bane (Jeep Swenson).
Dream with the Fishes (R)
A suicidal man (David Arquette) and a dying man (Brad Hunt) go on a
road adventure together.
The Last Time I Committed Suicide (R)
As Jason Patric sails the high seas with Sandra Bullock, Keanu
Reeves co-stars in this portrait of the Beat generation, centering on Neal
Cassady (Thomas Jane).
My Best Friend's Wedding (PG-13)
Julia Roberts returns to her light romantic comedy roots, playing a
woman determined to break up the wedding between best friend Dermot Mulroney
and Cameron Diaz. P.J. Hogan, no stranger to matrimonial comedy (Muriel's
Wedding), directs.
Ponette
Acclaimed French drama about a four-year-old girl (Victoire
Thivisol) coping with the death of her mother.
---
V I D E O
NEW THIS WEEK
Crime Story (R) ***
Making its American wide release debut on video after plans for a
theatrical release were aborted is this 1993 Hong Kong action thriller, best
known as the film in which Jackie Chan plays it completely straight. Chan
stars as a special agent assigned to protect a wealthy businessman (Law Hang
Kang) who is promptly kidnapped and held for ransom; little does he know
that the mastermind behind the scheme is his partner (Kent Cheng). Director
Kirk Wong has crafted a stylish, efficient thriller with all the spectacular
action sequences and stuntwork expected of a Chan vehicle. While Chan
acquits himself nicely in this dramatic role, in stripping away Chan's
trademark sense of humor, this vehicle feels less fresh and more Hollywood
standard-issue than Chan's comedically-tinged work. Unlike other domestic
releases of Chan's work, Chan does not do his own English-language dubbing;
instead, there is a voice actor who tries to sound like him--and fails
miserably. (Dimension Home Video)
Mars Attacks! (PG-13) *** 1/2 <full review at Mr. Brown's Movie Site and
MR#70, 12/12/97>
Most critics and audiences hated it, but anyone up for a zany and
fun sendup/homage to cheesy 1950s horror films will enjoy Tim Burton's wild
and wacky tale of Martian invasion starring Jack Nicholson, Annette Bening,
Glenn Close, Pierce Brosnan, Danny DeVito, and a host of others. (Warner
Home Video)
ALSO NEW THIS WEEK
Citizen Ruth (R)
Laura Dern won critical kudos for her performance as a pregnant
substance abuser who finds herself in the middle of an abortion media circus
in first-time director Alexander Payne's dark satire. (Miramax Home
Entertainment)
Hotel de Love (R)
Australian romantic comedy about two brothers (Aden Young and Simon
Bossell) who fight over the same woman (Saffron Burrows). (LIVE Entertainment)
My Fellow Americans (PG-13)
Warner Bros.'s successful Grumpy Old Men formula failed to pay off
for this geriatric comedy in which Jack Lemmon and James Garner play two
bickering ex-presidents who make a cross-country trip when they learn of the
current Chief Executive's (Dan Aykroyd) shady affairs. (Warner Home Video)
---
E V E N T S
6/12/97 -- Batman & Robin premiere
It was an unseasonably cool, cloudy, and sporadically drizzly day in
Westwood--the perfect climate for Warner Bros.'s glitzy opening of the
ice-covered fourth installment of their highly lucrative Batman franchise at
Mann's Village and Bruin Theatres.
While most movie premieres in this day and age are mere modest
screenings with media and red carpet lined up in front, Warner Bros.'s
lavish "event" premieres (e.g. Eraser and--dare I mention it--Space Jam) are
productions in themselves, often reflecting the excesses of these
"blockbuster" premieres. But even by those inflated standards, the B&R
opening still seemed a bit much, an overexerted attempt to one-up 1995's
Westwood premiere of the previous Bat installment, Batman Forever. As
expected, the Batmobile once again made an appearance, but also appearing
this time around was the Caped Crusader's new ice vehicle, the
Bathammer--which was actually driven around by a WB employee, no less. In
keeping with the icy theme, blue, rather than red, carpet lined the streets
around the two moviehouses, and "frozen" props--"ice"-covered phone booths,
people, etc.--were on display. The signs on the theatres which usually read
"Fox Westwood Village" and "Bruin" instead bore more Bat-friendly
monikers--"Gotham City" and just plain "Gotham," respectively. And if that
weren't enough, instead of having normally attired WB employees hand out
souvenir B&R buttons to the fans, the studio instead had inline skaters
dressed up as the film's "hockey team from hell" rollerblade in and around
the streets, throwing buttons into the crowd.
The celebrity turnout, while more impressive than an average
premiere, did not quite live up to the lavish production or the 1995 Forever
opening. Among those joining director Joel Schumacher and stars Arnold
Schwarzenegger (with Maria Shriver), George Clooney, Chris O'Donnell, Alicia
Silverstone, Elle Macpherson, and Jeep Swenson (Uma Thurman was curiously
absent) were Batman creator Bob Kane; Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffith;
Danny DeVito; Salma Hayek (who blew me a kiss); Ashley Judd; John Singleton;
Ted Turner and Jane Fonda; Courtney Love; Clooney's ER compatriots, Eriq
LaSalle and Noah Wyle; visual effects wizard Stan Winston; Kevin Pollak;
Smashing Pumpkins; Reese Witherspoon; Antonio Sabato Jr.; Family Matters's
Reginald VelJohnson and Darius McCrary; Melrose Place's David Charvet; star
of Pacific Palisades and former Diet Coke guy, Lucky Vanous; General
Hospital's Ingo Rademacher; and Steve Guttenberg.
Schwarzenegger, who is generally a publicity maniac at premieres for
his films, was obviously trying to take it easy following his recent heart
surgery. Instead of visiting every station of fans and shaking just about
everyone's hand, he only shook a few hands at one station and merely
stopped for photos near mine. Picking up some slack was Clooney. A very
young girl, maybe around four years old, became the envy of the women in the
crowd when he not only signed an autograph for her but hugged her and kissed
her a couple of times on the head. Clooney also deserves credit for daring
to approach one station of fans where girls screamed his name out for an
hour straight--even before he arrived. He signed a number of autographs for
these hyper fans and somehow managed to come away from that pit alive and
with all clothing intact.
---
N E X T W E E K
More reviews, including:
-Hercules
-My Best Friend's Wedding
'til then...
__________________________________________________________
Michael Dequina
mrb...@ucla.edu | mj...@the18thhole.com
mrbr...@juno.com | mrb...@iname.com | ms...@digicron.com
mj...@geocities.com | michael...@geocities.com
Visit Mr. Brown's Movie Site at http://members.tripod.com/~MrBrown/
Personal Page: http://members.tripod.com/~MrBrown/home.html
Michael Jordan Sites:
http://members.tripod.com/~mj23/mj.html &
http://www.geocities.com/Colosseum/Field/2302/
"I've failed over and over and over again in my life...
and that is why I succeed."
--Michael Jordan
CONGRATULATIONS MICHAEL & THE BULLS!
__________________________________________________________