OT: Cold Is Relative
Ron Allard
50 degrees -- New Yorkers turn on the heat. People
in Buffalo plant gardens.
40 degrees -- Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in
Buffalo sunbathe.
35 degrees -- Italian cars won't start. People in Minnesota
drive with the windows down.
32 degrees -- Distilled water freezes. Montana
water gets thicker.
20 degrees -- Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool
hats. People in North Dakota throw on a T-shirt.
15 degrees -- Californians begin to evacuate the
state. People in Cleveland go swimming.
Zero degrees -- New York landlords finally turn up the
heat. People in Maine have the last
cookout before it gets cold.
10 degrees below zero -- People in Miami cease to
exist. Yes, even those that speak nothing but
Spanish. People in International
Falls(coldest place in U.S.) lick flagpoles.
20 degrees below zero -- Californians fly away to
Puerto Rico. People in Buffalo throw on a light jacket.
40 degrees below zero -- Hollywood disintegrates. People
in Buffalo rent videos.
60 degrees below zero -- Mt. St. Helens freezes. Des
Moines Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.
80 degrees below zero -- Polar bears begin to evacuate
the Arctic. Rochester Boy Scouts postpone "Winter
Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
100 degrees below zero -- Santa Claus abandons the
North Pole. People in Buffalo pull down their ear flaps.
173 degrees below zero -- Ethyl alcohol freezes. People in
Syracuse get frustrated when they can't thaw their kegs.
297 degrees below zero -- Microbial life start to
disappear. Green Bay cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
460 degrees below zero -- ALL atomic motion stops. People
in Buffalo start saying "Cold 'nuff for ya?"
500 degrees below zero -- Hell freezes over. Miami wins
the Stanley (what cup, this is Miami, amigo!)Cup.Brr
--
Ron in Vegas
mailto:ron.a...@att.net
"Because there was always something about the Skyliners...
and that music..."
- Donnie Solinger
Senior Corps History site:
http://www.SrCorps.com
dbriggs
"Ron Allard" <R...@Diceman.com> wrote in message
news:edg70uspc9ej0tavl...@4ax.com...
Funny how cold seems to be relative even in one
place. Here in WNY, if it gets 50 in Feb (don't
laugh, it happens), people put on shorts. If it
goes down to 50 on an Aug nite, they put on
jackets.
cya
Ron Housley
Wisconsin..uninsulated 140 year old farm house....tiny wood
stove....all plumbing including the well frozen and useless....couch
pulled just far enough from the stove that it didn't catch on
fire....me horizontal on said couch: longjohns, balaclava and
mittens...stuffed inside north face superlight sleeping bag with 7"
loft.....120 lbs. of golden retriever (veteran of many winter camps in
Northern Montana)sleeping on top of me, house cat sleeping on top of
dog.....1/2 inch ice buildup on north walls: inside!...boiling hot tea
turning lukewarm in the time it takes to put the kettle back on the
woodstove and crawl back in the fartsack...so cold outside the men had
to pee backing up to outrace the freeze and who knows whow the women
coped......yeah, cold's relative!
RON HOUSLEY
"dbriggs" <dbr...@rochester.rr.com> wrote in message news:<3eQM7.73690$8w2.7...@typhoon.nyroc.rr.com>...
Catherine
news:24890c01.0111...@posting.google.com...
>...so cold outside the men had
> to pee backing up to outrace the freeze and who knows whow the women
> coped......
The kilt helped...
-- Catherine
Liz Duguay
street corner that the neighborhood kids were carving out the bottoms of the
snow piles and building igloos. you could fit 7 10 year olds in there. to us
that was damn cold. plus they closed the school. they NEVER did that.
L
MRKCAS
ready for Fall. It's too hot for too long down here. Enough already. If its
going to be this warm, I want to be in a parking lot somewhere getting ready to
go to a show.
Mark
Crown Support Staff '00,'01
DCI Finals attendee since '86
First show '80
Jummy Jenkins
Isn't a Buffolonian a New Yorker?