Plastic contras are here!
Stan Maddox
they have signed a sponsorship agreement with the Vista-Lite Bugle Company
of Waterloo, Illinois. In return for being the official goodwill ambassadors
for VLB, the Imperial Procrastinate-aires will receive a complete
complimentary set of new Bb bugles equipped with VLB's exclusive transparent
plastic bells.
For more information and photos, please visit the official Imperial
Procrastinate-aires web site:
sbur...@hotmail.com
Wouldn't they be called Sousaphones then??
--
- Steve Burstall
Junius, Aprilis, Septémq; Nouemq; tricenos,
Vnum plus reliqui, Februs tenet octo vicenos,
At si bissextus fuerit superadditur vnus.
William Harrison: Description of
Britain (prefixed to Holinshed's "Chronicle," 1577).
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
hey...@my-deja.com
sbur...@hotmail.com wrote:
> In article <B63E2CC7.DE4B%slm...@macomb.com>,
> Stan Maddox <slm...@macomb.com> wrote:
>
> --
> - Steve Burstall
>
> Junius, Aprilis, Septémq; Nouemq; tricenos,
> Vnum plus reliqui, Februs tenet octo vicenos,
> At si bissextus fuerit superadditur vnus.
> William Harrison: Description of
> Britain (prefixed to Holinshed's "Chronicle," 1577).
>
> Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
> Before you buy.
>
I WANT ONE!!!!
lol..
ray..
Sun Contra
86-98
sbur...@hotmail.com
that
> they have signed a sponsorship agreement with the Vista-Lite Bugle
Company
> of Waterloo, Illinois. In return for being the official goodwill
ambassadors
> for VLB, the Imperial Procrastinate-aires will receive a complete
> complimentary set of new Bb bugles equipped with VLB's exclusive
transparent
> plastic bells.
On a serious note, this is very valid idea. This would make contras
lighter. The questions comes up about durability of the bell,
maintanence, weight balance and intonation.
>
> For more information and photos, please visit the official Imperial
> Procrastinate-aires web site:
>
> http://homepage.macomb.com/~slm007/IP/index.html
--
ronho...@my-deja.com
contra. Finally, a horn with a bong-water key! Keep it up and Ken
Norman will want one for his collection as well. I'll be ordering
mine, well, someday. (Procrastinator Joke!)
RON HOUSLEY
Chuck Meyette
> Wouldn't they be called Sousaphones then??
>
> --
> - Steve Burstall
I heard Conn is producing a G conversion kit for sousaphones. Would this
make them legal to play in corps?
Chuck
BUSH CONTRA
Snapette's Mom
fine agreement with the Vista -Light Bugle Company Plastic contras are the way
to go, but this is not their first attempt at introducing weight reduction into
drum corps instruments.
The Snapette's sister corps, the "St.Licks Bagpipe Jazz Band", has been doing
some investigating in the possible addition of 12 new Vanguard Ruby Red contras
and in doing so has revealed this important historical reference item.
In 1958 theVista-Lite Bugle Company known back then under the name Rubber Bounce
Horns and Treads Company, introduced multi-valved contras with rubber bells to
allow more flexibility on and off the field.
To get the rubber contra up over the shoulder all a member had to do was lift
the contra up to his knees then slam it down hard enough to bounce it back up
over the top of his shoulder and begin playing. However, because of the
inconsistent shape of the bells you never knew which way the large instruments
would go. Some times they bounced write off the field into the stands injuring
small groupies standing to closely.
The horns were discontinued because of manufacturing defects shortly after and
soon forgotten.
Snapette's Mom
http://www.geocities.com/snapettes/snapettes.html?967534826416
Stan Maddox
-- Stan
> From: hey...@my-deja.com
> Organization: Deja.com - Before you buy.
> Newsgroups: rec.arts.marching.drumcorps
> Date: Mon, 20 Nov 2000 13:57:53 GMT
> Subject: Re: Plastic contras are here!
>
> In article <8vb1s1$2pe$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>,
> sbur...@hotmail.com wrote:
>> In article <B63E2CC7.DE4B%slm...@macomb.com>,
>> Stan Maddox <slm...@macomb.com> wrote:
>> Wouldn't they be called Sousaphones then??
>>
>> --
>> - Steve Burstall
>>
>> Junius, Aprilis, Septémq; Nouemq; tricenos,
>> Vnum plus reliqui, Februs tenet octo vicenos,
>> At si bissextus fuerit superadditur vnus.
>> William Harrison: Description of
>> Britain (prefixed to Holinshed's "Chronicle," 1577).
>>
>> Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
>> Before you buy.
>>
>
> I WANT ONE!!!!
> lol..
> ray..
> Sun Contra
> 86-98
>
>
Stan Maddox
say they are working on it...
-- Stan
> From: over_...@nym.alias.net (Over N' Out)
> Reply-To: over_n_out@nymDOTaliasDOTnet
> Newsgroups: rec.arts.marching.drumcorps
> Date: 20 Nov 2000 13:11:13 -0600
> Subject: Re: Plastic contras are here!
>
> Nicely done, Stan. I applaud your efforts, boogle boy!
> --
> Over N' Out
> RSA Key: 0xCCE42AA5
>
> No one is listening until you make a mistake
>
DRUMAJOR
> Name your color and I'll set you up.
I'll take 3 Blue Triangles,
2 Purple Gongs,
and a Slap-stick Rendered in Pink.
Stan Maddox
corps history.
The Rubber Bounce Horns and Treads Company was originally housed in a simple
frame structure a few blocks from what would become my childhood home. By
the time I was 5 we had moved into the neighborhood, and the horn company
had moved into a new building near the tracks on the west side of town. The
old building became the home of Bode's Sodies, a well-known "mom & pop" (no
pun intended) soft drink bottling plant.
As a young, curious (read: bored) lad, I used to hang out around Bode's in
the hot summer, looking for free samples. I was never able to quench my
thirst on the cheap, but I did become quite adept at dodging the occasional
empty bottle hurled at my head by the irate bottling plant workers that I
continually annoyed.
During one such self-preserving leap, my dive for cover sent me underneath
the old loading dock, where I flew headfirst into a stinking, rotting
cardboard box. It was full of what I would later identify as old rubber horn
bells and raccoon shit. The bells had apparently fallen under the dock in
the move, and were promptly forgotten by all, save the raccoons.
At the time I didn't know what the rubber horn bells were, but being a
child, I was fascinated. What could these odd-shaped, wobbly things be?
1800's-era hearing aids for the elderly? Protective covers for a
super-secret moon rocket exhaust nozzle? I pondered this puzzle for a few
moments, and realized I had to consult an expert. "Dad would know!", I said.
I grabbed a muddy-brown rubber soprano bell casting, rolled out from under
the dock, tossed the bell into the basket of my trusty
gold-and-blue-metalflake Schwinn bicycle, hopped on the banana seat, and
made a mad dash for home.
Dad took one look and said it was a penis funnel for wheelchair-bound
invalids with incontinence. "Can't you smell that? Smells like raccoon
shit!" Mom spanked me for bringing it into the house. My older brother
stuffed my head into it.
A few years later, however, after my head had mostly regained it's natural
shape, I was vindicated with the truth. The Belleville Black Knights were in
town for Waterloo's annual Homecoming parade, and they were still fielding a
few of the original valve/rotor rubber bell contras. I will never forget the
incredible sound they made when, in sync with the drum cadence, they slammed
all 8 of them onto the asphalt bell-first! thWHUMPP!!! WOW! The horns flew
up and arched mightily into the air, coming to rest lightly on the
musician's shoulders in exact playing position! OMYGAWD! The crowd of
overweight, beer-bucket-swilling citizens went nuts! This was my first
exposure to a drum corps, and I loved it!
After the parade, a couple of the contra players were horsing around. They
would push the horns together bell-first, cup their hands over the mouth
pieces, and then pull them apart with great effort...
sssssssswwwwuuukkkkk-FOOOOOMM! Sounded like a cannon! Another one grabbed
his horn and said "Come on, guys, let's give the Guard Captain a giant
hickey!" They were off in a flash, a blur of crew cuts, chrome domes and
rubber. Later, it was really hard to hear the screams of the guard captain
over the ooompa-loompa sounds of the Waterloo German Band, but to this day,
every time I hear a polka, I still picture a rubber-bell contra, and I hear
that faint, blood-curdling scream... and I always smile a little smile. Ah,
memories...
Until I read Snapette's Mom's post, I never did put two-and-two together and
link the Rubber Bounce Horns and Treads Company with Vista-Lite Bugle
Company. Good call, Mom! That crowd of fat, beer-drinking fans wildly
cheering those bouncing contras marked my destiny, for I later became an
overweight, beer-bucket-swilling citizen myself. Oh yeah, I played contra,
too.
Thanks for the memories!
-- Stan
> From: Snapette's Mom <m...@snoapettes.com>
> Organization: Cisco Systems, Inc.
> Reply-To: @cisco.com
> Newsgroups: rec.arts.marching.drumcorps
> Date: Mon, 20 Nov 2000 16:26:32 -0800
> Subject: Re: Plastic contras are here!
>
Stan Maddox
website with ours. How about it?
I just got off the phone with Alphonse "Rip" Van Snoozer, Director of the
Imperial Procrastinate-aires. In between his screams of agony and repeated
blubbering of "Where's my bail money?", he said he thought it would be a
grand idea to swap ad space.
Expanding on that idea, perhaps we ought to create a table featuring all the
fine corps in our unique and twisted world, and we could all post the table
on our sites. What do y'all think?
-- Stan, filling in for the "vacationing" Van Snoozer
Stan Maddox
-- Stan, dude
> From: ronho...@my-deja.com
> Organization: Deja.com - Before you buy.
> Newsgroups: rec.arts.marching.drumcorps
> Date: Mon, 20 Nov 2000 16:48:46 GMT
> Subject: Re: Plastic contras are here!
>
> Good humor, Homes! I think I have a good use for the smoke-tinted
> contra. Finally, a horn with a bong-water key! Keep it up and Ken
> Norman will want one for his collection as well. I'll be ordering
> mine, well, someday. (Procrastinator Joke!)
>
> RON HOUSLEY
>
>
Stan Maddox
BTW, does anyone else have any iContra color suggestions?
-- Stan
> From: ronho...@my-deja.com
> Organization: Deja.com - Before you buy.
> Newsgroups: rec.arts.marching.drumcorps
> Date: Tue, 21 Nov 2000 02:22:15 GMT
> Subject: Re: Plastic contras are here!
>
> In article <B63F1F67.DF01%slm...@macomb.com>,
> Stan Maddox <slm...@macomb.com> wrote:
>> Thenk yew! I have petitioned VLB to make one in plaid for the
> Kilties; they
>> say they are working on it...
>>
>> -- Stan
>
>
> You're one step ahead of me, Stan Man, I just this minute proposed the
> same thing to a Kiltie I know. Nice to know we're on the same track.
> BTW: Do you know why people in New York act so pissed off? Well, how
> would act if you know the light at the end of the tunnel was New Jersey?
>
> Jerseyites, don't send me flames, that was the Brass Monkey's joke!
>
> RON HOUSLEY
> Still not cold enough yet! But I'll
> keep a weather eye out, the future
> procreation of brass monkey jokes
> depends on it.
Stan Maddox
Oh yeah, I remember... that was a fun one, back in the days of airbrushing
and press type. The original is long gone (I don't remember if it got
mangled or I gave it away) but I remember it well enough to recreate it.
What I would need, however, is all the info that went on the bottom in the
"credits" area... the songs and original artists, the arranger (Larry
Kirchner, wasn't it?) and all the staff. If that info can be gathered, I
would be happy to do it over. Good to hear from ya!
-- Stan
> From: davidst...@hotmail.com
> Organization: Deja.com - Before you buy.
> Newsgroups: rec.arts.marching.drumcorps
> Date: Tue, 21 Nov 2000 02:31:20 GMT
> Subject: Re: Plastic contras are here!
>
> I wouldn't swear to it, but I think you may have too much extra time on
> your hands!!
>
> Say Stan, remember back in '82 you drew a movie poster of a
> Geneseo Knight standing in the lights of a football field? Do you still
> have that? I thought that was some awesome artwork! If you've still
> got it, is there any way I can get a copy? Maybe just and electronic
> copy?
>
> Later,
> Dave.
>
> CorpsVets Contra '98-
> USNA D&B instructor '93-95
> Geneseo Knights Contra '82-85
>
>
>
>
>
> In article <B63F1F67.DF01%slm...@macomb.com>,
> Stan Maddox <slm...@macomb.com> wrote:
>> Thenk yew! I have petitioned VLB to make one in plaid for the Kilties;
> they
>> say they are working on it...
>>
>> -- Stan
>>
>>> From: over_...@nym.alias.net (Over N' Out)
>>> Reply-To: over_n_out@nymDOTaliasDOTnet
>>> Newsgroups: rec.arts.marching.drumcorps
>>> Date: 20 Nov 2000 13:11:13 -0600
>>> Subject: Re: Plastic contras are here!
>>>
>>> On Mon, 20 Nov 2000 01:20:08 -0600, Stan Maddox <slm...@macomb.com>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>> Nicely done, Stan. I applaud your efforts, boogle boy!
>>> --
>>> Over N' Out
>>> RSA Key: 0xCCE42AA5
>>>
>>> No one is listening until you make a mistake
>>>
>>
>>
>
>
ronho...@my-deja.com
Stan Maddox <slm...@macomb.com> wrote:
> Thenk yew! I have petitioned VLB to make one in plaid for the
Kilties; they
> say they are working on it...
>
> -- Stan
You're one step ahead of me, Stan Man, I just this minute proposed the
same thing to a Kiltie I know. Nice to know we're on the same track.
BTW: Do you know why people in New York act so pissed off? Well, how
would act if you know the light at the end of the tunnel was New Jersey?
Jerseyites, don't send me flames, that was the Brass Monkey's joke!
RON HOUSLEY
Still not cold enough yet! But I'll
keep a weather eye out, the future
procreation of brass monkey jokes
depends on it.
davidst...@hotmail.com
your hands!!
Say Stan, remember back in '82 you drew a movie poster of a
Geneseo Knight standing in the lights of a football field? Do you still
have that? I thought that was some awesome artwork! If you've still
got it, is there any way I can get a copy? Maybe just and electronic
copy?
Later,
Dave.
CorpsVets Contra '98-
USNA D&B instructor '93-95
Geneseo Knights Contra '82-85
In article <B63F1F67.DF01%slm...@macomb.com>,
Stan Maddox <slm...@macomb.com> wrote:
> Thenk yew! I have petitioned VLB to make one in plaid for the Kilties;
they
> say they are working on it...
>
> -- Stan
>
> > From: over_...@nym.alias.net (Over N' Out)
> > Reply-To: over_n_out@nymDOTaliasDOTnet
> > Newsgroups: rec.arts.marching.drumcorps
> > Date: 20 Nov 2000 13:11:13 -0600
> > Subject: Re: Plastic contras are here!
> >
> > On Mon, 20 Nov 2000 01:20:08 -0600, Stan Maddox <slm...@macomb.com>
> > wrote:
> >
> > Nicely done, Stan. I applaud your efforts, boogle boy!
> > --
> > Over N' Out
> > RSA Key: 0xCCE42AA5
> >
> > No one is listening until you make a mistake
> >
>
>
Stan Maddox
Goodness! As I sit here in the confines of our bingo hall on the shores of Lake WeeBeeTrippin, I shudder to think of the cruel twist of fate that almost befell you. WOW! The horror! It's not every day that you can escape having to sip on a spork of steak and carrot stew. :-)
Since our beloved corps director Mr. Van Snoozer is still in jail out in Syracuse, please allow me to formally apologize on behalf of the Imperial Procrastinate-aires for the danger we may have placed before you. (We tend to have that effect on people, but in this case, it wasn't intentional.)
*ahem*
On behalf of the Imperial Procrastinate-aires, I would like to extend to you this laurel, and hardy handshake. (Oops, that was Blazing Saddles...) er, um, on behalf of the Imperial Procrastinate-aires, I would like to extend to you our sincerest wishes for a full-blown recovery.
(hehehehe... he said "blown"... hehehehe)
Down, Bubba! She's a NUN, for God's sake! *SLAP!* Bad toadie!
Um, sorry. Where was I? Oh, yes...
Those of us back here in Nebo at the Imperial Procrastinate-aires corps bingo hall & local John Deere dealership were at first taken back that your behavior was even considered unusual. Around here, if one can not catch their breath as they "stagger from one end of the hall to the other howling and hacking", they are considered normal. Of course, you probably don't have tractors idling in your practice hall when the corps isn't around, as we do.
We were quite impressed with the expeditious use of your ball blower. We aren't as lucky. The best we can do is toss our balls into an old John Deere hay baler. You get to have your balls blown, but the best we can do is a roll in the hay. It sure must be nice to have one of those suckers around! Oh, that's right, you don't suck, you blow... suck, blow, blow, suck... it's all Greek to me.
Think about it. ;-)
For our own bingo and breathing needs, we are considering abandoning this poorly-ventilated John Deere dealership in favor of a riverboat casino. Seeing as how we are right on the Mississippi river, it's pretty gosh-darned convenient. Unfortunately, the only good place to dock a riverboat would be on the shore right in front of the general store, which is chock-full of duck blinds at the moment. We are negotiating a time-share agreement.
You can see this one coming a mile away, right? Stay tuned... :-)
It appears those cursed rubber-bell horns are still capable of striking people at random. While striking people at random is an activity that we normally applaud, in your case, that would be the furthest thing from our minds. You have many fans and admirers in the IP booster club; one toothless peanut-eating old geezer said "She's a habit I'd like to get into!" I back-handed the old fart right in the nuts, and I told him I would never dare repeat such vile filth to you. But he meant well.
Truth be told, there really isn't much in our minds at the moment... the blue diesel exhaust haze is getting pretty thick in here. My eyes are watering so badly, I can barely see the lead paint chips that are flaking off the ceiling and falling into my coffee. Mmmm, sprinkles. Yummy.
Before I, too, pass out, I had better pass on the special surprise that has been put together by our Spanish-styled cadet corps, the Procrastinettes. A number of the young lads in the drum line have formed an ad-hoc glee club, and they would like to sing a little song for you in the hopes that it will make you feel better. Hit it, boys!
(Sung to the tune of "The Oscar Meyer Wiener Song")
Contras!
Rubber contras!
What kind of corps use rubber contras?
Big corps! Little corps! Corps with beady eyes!
Rough corps! Tough corps! Corps with brass between their thighs!
Oh, contras! Ruuuuuber contras!
The kind kids love to flyyyyyy!!!
Oh, bravo! Bravo! We are so proud of these youngsters! They are really quite talented. If we can keep them out of reform school long enough, they will make a fine addition to the "A" corps.
On behalf of the entire Imperial Procrastinate-aires organization, we sincerely hope you will make a swift and complete recovery. Tour just wouldn't be the same without you. Good luck, and may all YOUR balls be well-blown!
-- Stan Maddox, filling in for the, um, "vacationing" Alphonse "Rip" Van Snoozer,
The Imperial Procrastinate-aires
Lake WeeBeeTrippin Community College, Nebo IL.
"If we aren't there yet, we're on schedule!"
From: dmancini <dman...@cisco.com>
Organization: me
Reply-To: dman...@cisco.com
Newsgroups: rec.arts.marching.drumcorps
Date: Tue, 21 Nov 2000 18:08:14 -0800
Subject: Re: Plastic contras are here!
Stan,
The Snapette's thought YOU might want to send a get well message to our corps director, Sister McManick C.C. Last night she was reading about the plastic contras on your thread. Somewhere along the way (we think it was where you were vividly describing how the Bellville Black Knights used the rubber belled contras in their cadence bouncing them in sync) we think several small strokes were induced from her uncontrollable laughing.
Witnesses said she could not catch her breath and staggered from one end of our mobile bingo hall to the other howling and hacking with laughter until she ran out of oxygen and passed out.
Our corps spokesperson Father McMancick said, "we were successful resuscitating her breathing by using our fast ball blower used in the mobile bingo hall. It worked like a charm."
Doctors say she is in serious but stable condition and should be released within the next 21 and a half hours.
Standing by the 40 and a half foot long BBQ with smoker in the rear, while sipping on a spork of steak and carrot stew, Our colorguard captain said, "you don't suck, you blow"!
SNAPETTES!