Stylish or Simple Room Descriptions?
William K. Stark
This is mostly a question of preference, so any input would be
appreciated.
I've been writing a little bit of Inform, and I was wondering how people
like room descriptions. I've been working on a way to write paragraph
room descriptions, and finally managed to get it working (after many
room descriptions like "You are in an office. There is a desk here.
There is a desk here. There is a desk here.") Now I'm wondering whether
I really should. In MST3K version of Detective, they make fun of
paragraphs as a blurry mess. I personally think that it gives it a more
literary quality. Perhaps rather than trying to write "games for the
literate", I should right literature for the game player. What should
be a general rule of thumb for what to put in the room description, and
what to list seperately.
Thanks in Advance
Adam Stark
Andrew Plotkin
William K. Stark (bst...@sprynet.com) wrote:
> What should
> be a general rule of thumb for what to put in the room description, and
> what to list seperately.
Consider the mood of the protagonist as he enters the room. Is it a room
he's very familiar with, or a room he's never been in before? When he
enters, does he look eagerly around to see where he's gotten to, or is he
just dashing through on the way to somewhere else? Is everything the way he
left it? Does something that he sees surprise him? Does something that he
sees shock him out of his routine? Is something in the room the most
interesting thing he's seen all day? Or does he have something else on his
mind? In what order do things attract his attention?
None of these answer your question, but they are things I think about when
I'm writing a room description.
Secretly, I'm still proud of the room description I wrote for the opening
of "Lists":
----
Everything here is just like it always is, except for that door.
>
----
--Z
--
"And Aholibamah bare Jeush, and Jaalam, and Korah: these were the
borogoves..."
Mary K. Kuhner
>I've been working on a way to write paragraph
>room descriptions, and finally managed to get it working (after many
>room descriptions like "You are in an office. There is a desk here.
>There is a desk here. There is a desk here.") Now I'm wondering whether
>I really should. In MST3K version of Detective, they make fun of
>paragraphs as a blurry mess. I personally think that it gives it a more
>literary quality.
One common observation is that big paragraphs are easier to read in a
book than they are on a screen. You'll note that most Usenetters put a
blank line between paragraphs and don't indent, and use relatively short
paragraphs; there's a reason for this. I believe it makes it easier for
the eye to find landmarks during scrolling. So the "literary" model may
be better suited for paper rather than electronic media.
You might choose a compromise, with several short paragraphs rather than
individual lines for each object; I like Inform's way of handling this
("You also see a foo, a bar, and a baz.")
Living creatures and similarly obtrusive objects should be on a line of
their own. So should anything that would naturally grab the viewer's
eye--anything moving, anything very noisy, anything dangerous or wildly
odd.
If the room description itself is lengthy, a separate paragraph for
objects is especially helpful, to avoid having to pick line by line
through the room description looking for addressable objects.
Mary Kuhner mkku...@genetics.washington.edu
Lucian Paul Smith
: appreciated.
: I've been writing a little bit of Inform, and I was wondering how people
: like room descriptions. I've been working on a way to write paragraph
: room descriptions, and finally managed to get it working (after many
: room descriptions like "You are in an office. There is a desk here.
: There is a desk here. There is a desk here.") Now I'm wondering whether
: I really should. In MST3K version of Detective, they make fun of
: paragraphs as a blurry mess. I personally think that it gives it a more
: literary quality. Perhaps rather than trying to write "games for the
: literate", I should right literature for the game player. What should
: be a general rule of thumb for what to put in the room description, and
: what to list seperately.
Room descriptions should be just that--descriptions. They should not
include action. They should not describe anything that can be moved out
of the room. If you want to describe something that will change, be sure
to put in 'if' statements (or somesuch) to make sure that it changes in
the description as well as printing the message that something has changed.
Go back and play MST3K again. If you notice, what is being made fun of
is _not_ verbosity, but a weird hybrid of actions and descriptions. If
you type 'look' in the opening room, _every_ _time_ the commissioner says
something to you. This is wrong. It will often tell you things that you
do, or describe things that have disappeared or you have picked up.
The style question you refer to is something else entirely. Generally, I
think most folks would appreciate it if you didn't include anything that
the parser didn't recognize. Or, to put it another way, make sure the
parser recognizes all the words in your descriptions. It's somewhat
annoying to get "That's just scenery", but it's better than "You can't
see any such thing." Beyond that, you should write the type of
description you would like to read, were you playing the game yourself.
And be consistent.
All IMHO, of course.
-Lucian "Lucian" Smith
A. De Lisle
For a really expansive set of descriptions -- One Hand Clapping
also AGT's Gothic.
Neither example should be followed too much, but a very literate
description is nice. I would like items mentioned to have some
response when 'examine'd. It is acceptable to have the items
with responses listed as items and not mentioned specifically in
the description. Games tend to merge when you play a lot and
time passes, but I think Theatre, Christminster and Curses were
fine. [there have been so many, apologies for omissions]
One of the chief requirements is to get the spelling checked.
<email address has been altered--delete xxx>
-
William K. Stark wrote:
>
> This is mostly a question of preference, so any input would be
> appreciated.
>
> I've been writing a little bit of Inform, and I was wondering how people
> like room descriptions.
Longer descriptions are great for the way they can add to storyline,
but most of the time I can't be bothered reading a rooms description for
the umpteenth time to see what's around.
Of course what would be ideal is to have a long description the first
time, and a shorter one stating the room's main features after that. Or
what would probably be better is to keep the essential stuff near the
start or end of the description, with the rest on plot, etc.
> I've been working on a way to write paragraph
> room descriptions, and finally managed to get it working (after many
> room descriptions like "You are in an office. There is a desk here.
> There is a desk here. There is a desk here.") Now I'm wondering whether
> I really should. In MST3K version of Detective, they make fun of
> paragraphs as a blurry mess. I personally think that it gives it a more
> literary quality. Perhaps rather than trying to write "games for the
> literate", I should right literature for the game player.
I think most of the game players are off playing [ Insert the name of
the currently popular game involving 3D graphics, blood, and little
requirement of intellect here ].
> What should
> be a general rule of thumb for what to put in the room description, and
> what to list seperately.
I think unless its a *very* important room, about half a screen of
writing should be the maximum.
* Avoid your "You are in an office. There is a desk here."
* Avoid lengths of prose people won't want to read through.
Have a look at Graham Nelson's tutorial 'The Craft of Adventure' (should
be on the if-archive somewhere).
Personally in my attempts I have written short descriptions, but that's
because I'm better at playing games than writing them.
--
Nicholas Daley
<dal...@ihug.co.nz>
Laurel Halbany
"William K. Stark" <bst...@sprynet.com> wrote:
> What should
>be a general rule of thumb for what to put in the room description, and
>what to list seperately.
Personally I like room descriptions that are stylish *and* simple.
Very minor order there, huh?
Without getting florid, try to use more descriptive nouns. Think about
words or phrases that will evoke many other, unmentioned details in
the reader's mind.
Don't list items that can be taken away, and assume that your players
are going to enter a room and play with it more than once.
----------------------------------------------------------
Laurel Halbany
myt...@agora.rdrop.com
http://www.rdrop.com/users/mythago/
Branko Collin
On Wed, 18 Jun 1997 04:51:46 GMT, myt...@agora.rdrop.com (Laurel Halbany) wrote[how to write descriptions]
>
>Personally I like room descriptions that are stylish *and* simple.
>Very minor order there, huh?
>
>Without getting florid, try to use more descriptive nouns. Think about
>words or phrases that will evoke many other, unmentioned details in
>the reader's mind.
>
>Don't list items that can be taken away, and assume that your players
>are going to enter a room and play with it more than once.
This has been said before: Use all senses. So do not only describe the
things you can see, but also the things you can hear, smell or feel.
Another tip: Try and design your own style-guide (and do not be afraid
to borrow from other people's style guides). By checking every
description against your guide, you can get a consistent style.
--
Branko Collin
col...@xs4all.nl
"Druppels, druppels, op mijn glas, druppels druppels druppels"