I particularly like #48.
Enjoy
* * * * * * * * * *
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs
to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9.. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27.. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she
goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54.. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Show up naked
2. Bring Beer
--
John Fleming
Edmonton, Canada
Old MacDonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O
And on that farm he had a genome E-I-E-I-O
With a SNP SNP here and a SNP SNP there,
Here a SNP, there a SNP, everywhere a SNP SNP
Old MacDonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O
<snippity-do-dah>
The bit about the sci-fi television show featuring a time traveling
smart aleck was......where?
Lol
Maybe this could end up being the result if #48 is a go?
"British couple in court over 'howling' sex
LONDON - A British couple whose sex sessions were so noisy that
neighbours could not sleep heard in court how their marathon romps
sounded like someone being murdered, reports said Tuesday.
Steve and Caroline Cartwright's "howling" lovemaking sounded
"unnatural", "hysterical" and "like they are both in considerable pain",
Newcastle Crown Court in northeast England heard.
A 10-minute recording of their sex sessions was played out before a
judge and two magistrates in the court, who also heard how he tried
covering her face with a pillow to muffle the orgasmic screams."
http://www.timescolonist.com/life/British+couple+court+over+howling/2206070/story.html
--
--------------------------------------------------------------
"It's the customer's privilege to burst their own f*cking yolk."
-Gordon Ramsey
<snip!>
--
Member - Liberal International This is doc...@nl2k.ab.ca Ici doc...@nl2k.ab.ca
God, Queen and country! Never Satan President Republic! Beware AntiChrist rising!
http://twitter.com/rootnl2k http://www.myspace.com/502748630
Merry Christmas 2009 and Happy New Year 2010
Point very well taken.
Whatever Nazi SS Stormtrooper.
Pretty ironic coming from someone who attempted to censor the following...
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Show up naked
2. Bring Beer
Nudity and alcohol are not illegal Doc, if it makes you uncomfortable then
don't read it.
--
PV
Stupidity is a condition
Ignorance is a choice
Not just that. In censoring it he totally ruined the joke!
Once again in English please.....LOL
Reading the Doctor's posts are like trying to read a novel through
Bubbles' (from Trailer Park Boys) glasses. The after effects are painful.
It's probably a good thing he isn't running the country.
Imagine the mischief his thought police would get
into--censoring anything anybody might say because the he is
unhappy with it.
If truth be told, I suspect he is a very unhappy person.
Don't wory, he didn't get it anyway.
I believe you are right, when your objectives in life is 1000 followers on
Twitter and to be the top poster in Usenet, something is missing from your
life.
Perhaps if he spent less time attempting to impose his draconian thinking on
others and expecting the world to change for him and actually spending time
with people and learning to be social it could improve his quality of life
immeasurably.
Yes. It's a kind of pointless self aggrandizement. Gives
nothing back to society.
> $Perhaps if he spent less time attempting to impose his draconian thinking on
> $others and expecting the world to change for him and actually spending time
> $with people and learning to be social it could improve his quality of life
> $immeasurably.
I think you might be right.
Unfortunately he's too arrogant to accept that. He believes God is
supporting him in everything he does, so he's not going to accept
criticism from us lowly mortals. :-)
It's a kind of an unthinking Christianity.
I know many Christians who put a lot of thought into what
they believe, and use the Christian world view to lead
positive lives that make them a real benefit to the
community.
I don't hear these people suggesting that, given the chance,
they would castrate homosexuals.
More than likely that is true. By the way, the version of the joke
that *I* heard was:
How to Make a Man Happy
1) Show up
2) Bring Beer
I think it needs a #3, Leave After
> $> Don't wory, he didn't get it anyway.
> $
> $More than likely that is true. By the way, the version of the joke
> $that *I* heard was:
> $
> $How to Make a Man Happy
> $
> $1) Show up
> $2) Bring Beer
I think "Show up naked" sounds better. But what do I know,
I'm just a guy.
Well, of course, that does make things seem more definite, eh?
Although just showing up would seem to suggest that what men
really want is the beer. :-)
Good one PEachy, esp for the deprived like Saislbury, smith, Wilson, a Lof of
Bread and snowman class trolls.
A guy with his own whiskey tanker.
Very Good Idea !!
--
John C.
Glad you finally confessed that !!
--
John C.
IIRC John Fleming you are dating a woman.
That might be true for some men.
But most of us have a two track mind--beer and sex.
I'm not sure if this is a moral/ethical question, or a simple
procedural one, but...
How do you, as a troll, know where to draw the line? Is there a line?
Is there a sentiment that just goes too far and you won't agree with?
Have you ever hesitated to say something for fear it was just too
much and would give the game away?
It's got my vote too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm not a troll....I just speak the TRVTH !!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> know where to draw the line?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What line ??
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Is there a line?
~~~~~~~
NO
~~~~~~~
> Is there a sentiment that just goes too far and you won't agree with?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Solely depends on if I agree with said hypothetical...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Have you ever hesitated to say something for fear it was just too
> much and would give the game away?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What game ??
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
--
Love & kisses,
John C.
But of course you are dear.
Why are you suddenly disputing that?
It's a behaviour pattern he learned from the doctor.
--
John Fleming
Edmonton, Canada
Well, there is that.
:-)
Well, it's worked so effectively for The Doctor
I'm not sure it really has.
If anything, it's put his posts in the same category as
daytime soap operas. You know, you miss a year's worth of
episodes, watch one, and know everything you've missed in
the preceding 12 months.
You don't get sarcasm do you John. ;-)
Fleming think ?!?
LOL !!
--
John C.
But you get lots of sour-Jizum, don't you Sailsbury ??
--
Your Pal,
John C.
Sometimes I do. Obviously, I'm batting out today.
You were saying.
--
Member - Liberal International This is doc...@nl2k.ab.ca Ici doc...@nl2k.ab.ca
He's practising pounding a giant dildo up your ass at the next TM
meeting.
You're the entertainment for the evening.
Oh, now there's a new visual for me.
Um. thanks?
Sorry but I called dibs on the tanker, would you like it sent your way after
it's refilled?
--
PV
Stupidity is a condition
Ignorance is a choice
Do you need the tanker? Because I can have it on its way
forthwith, directly and right away.
It's just pulling out of my humble country estate even as I
type.
Next, Peachy will say that I said that about the giant dildo....
--
John C.
Nah, I'm good. I just recast the parts and kept the imagery.
Thanks for the offer though!
No dear, you have your own giant dildo, you don't need to borrow
that one.
Ya'll are too good to me.
Leave my wife out of this !!
--
John C.
Peachy is made of strong stuff.
--
Member - Liberal International This is doc...@nl2k.ab.ca Ici doc...@nl2k.ab.ca
She knows who Mr.TrollingPAnts is.
--
Member - Liberal International This is doc...@nl2k.ab.ca Ici doc...@nl2k.ab.ca
Oh don't fear pumpkin. I've got her all wore out and quiet back in
the bedroom.
R U a carpet muncher ??
--
John C.
She might be.
--
Member - Liberal International This is doc...@nl2k.ab.ca Ici doc...@nl2k.ab.ca
As I've said before, we aim to please.
--
John Fleming
Edmonton, Canada
Old MacDonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O
And on that farm he had a genome E-I-E-I-O
With a SNP SNP here and a SNP SNP there,
Here a SNP, there a SNP, everywhere a SNP SNP
[snip]
> $ No dear, you have your own giant dildo, you don't need to borrow
> $that one.
LOL
And I'm better at it than you are, too.
That's for the wifey to determine......did you make her scream till the windows rattled ??
--
John C. (We Luv Lesbians....Jerry....Jerry....Jerry...)
Really? Are you bi?
Thanks for the admission, Faggot !!
--
Your Pal,
John C.
LOL
""The Great One"" <hones...@centurytel.net> wrote in message
news:0MmdnXrUrZay1pnW...@centurytel.net...
Because Loaf of Bread and snowman trolls edm.general .
--
Member - Liberal International This is doc...@nl2k.ab.ca Ici doc...@nl2k.ab.ca
Repent you sinner !!
--
John C.
That's nice
LOL
"The Great One" has a real fascination with male sexuality. I guess
his wife doesn't let him rape her enough to meet his needs.
I don't think "rape" is the operative word here since her clit is
bigger than his.
Penis envy might be a better diagnosis.
LOL
Famous chatup lines #32: (Said in cheer-jaunty voice) "Let's not turn this
rape into a murder, eh?"
Closely followed by chatup line #33: "Does this rag smell of chloroform to
you?"
TRoll smith and Loaf in inflammatory mode.
Doc, the best practice would be to squeeze out the "inflammation",
daub liberally with alcohol and set aside to air dry. That should
result in a cure.
==
Serving these 2 trolls alcohol? Nah! Better idea is to get them
to read http://www.twitter.com/root/followers/ . That
will destroy my oppostition in one blow crushing their spirits forever.
--
Member - Liberal International This is doc...@nl2k.ab.ca Ici doc...@nl2k.ab.ca
God, Queen and country! Never Satan President Republic! Beware AntiChrist rising!
http://twitter.com/rootnl2k http://www.myspace.com/502748630
<snip>
>>
>> Doc, the best practice would be to squeeze out the "inflammation",
>> daub liberally with alcohol and set aside to air dry. That should
>> result in a cure.
>> =3D=3D
>
> Serving these 2 trolls alcohol? Nah! Better idea is to get them
> to read http://www.twitter.com/root/followers/ . That
> will destroy my oppostition in one blow crushing their spirits
> forever.
LOL, do you really think you Twitter count actually means anything? Please
explain your relationship with each of your "Followers".
While you are at it, Mr Popularity, why do you only have three "Friends" on
Myspace.
Put down the keyboard, go into the world and do something useful.
Sheesh
LOL! It's hard to ignore Yads when he comes out with such MORONIC
comments as that! He genuinely believes we'd be jealous of his Twitter
"followers"? He's off his head!
I've got news for you Yads; it's only friends in the real world that
count. How many of your "followers" do you ACTUALLY KNOW PERSONALLY?
Most in #edmonton / #yeg . So poster troll boy Sailsbury put up or shut up !
Nope, I put a gag on her before I started.
You were busy in here talking with the guys about dicks and I didn't
want to distract you
John, you are deeply deeply twisty.
Sharxie! Where ya been??
ROTFLMAO!!
ROFLAMO.......brilliant, just brilliant!
BZZZZZZZZTTTTTTT......
Doesn't answer the question, more pointless bravado about something that
means nothing.
The question is: "How many of your "How many of your "followers" do you
ACTUALLY KNOW PERSONALLY?"
So Doc, put up or shut up
YOU'VE ACTUALLY GONE MAD, HAVEN'T YOU?
Always wondered how that happened... Now I know...
They're ripped off Jimmy Carr's latest DVD; of course, it does show my sense
of humour.. >Hmmmf<....
ROTFLMAO!!
So what's it look like when your arse falls off?
0/10 troll poster boy john smith.
Have a look at http://www.klout.com and type in ROOTNL2K .
--