Cry.Sig #4 - It's Baaaaack!
bar...@wkuvx1.bitnet
artist) Cry.Sig is back! Hopefully, I'll get it finished by the
deadline.
So far I've gotten 3 replies to my "favorite LNHer", wReam. Not
including mine. Who's winning? You'll find out in time.
CHAPTER FOUR:
Continuity Champ followed the signs toward the secret power source
when suddenly he encountered and ominous figure.
"Halt, for I am Royalty King!"
The Champ paused only long enough to wave his arm at his foe,
meaning to turn him into a bowl of jello. However, his power of
transmogrification fizzled. Royalty King laughed.
"Fool! Just like my so-called mistress, you do not know what you
deal with!"
"Who are you?" Continuity Champ asked, his eyes narrowing (though
the King couldn't see that).
"Once I had a name like other men, but it was taken from me. You,
exiled Knight of Continuity, should know me well." He reached up and
tore off his mask (that's happening a lot in this story. ain't it?).
The Champ's eyes widened. "Harras the Horrendous," he whispered.
"Yes, it is I! Once I have defeated you, nothing can stop me from
taking the Crossover Gem from Crossover Queen and returning to the
land of men. Nothing can stop me! Especially not you!"
Harras pointed at the Champ, and shimmering bolts of electricity
crackled toward him. The Legionnaire flipped his cape around,
absorbing the bolts. He led with a bolt of focussed plot error
energy, which staggered Harras slightly. Harras returned a
cross-continuity uppercut, knocking the hero back. The exiled editor
followed with a retcon bodyslam, knocking the breath from the Champ.
Harras stood over his prone form. "Nothing will stop me. Nothing."
He pointed a glowing finger at the Champion.
* * * *
Meanwhile, Spelling Boy ripped off his mask to reveal...
"CANNON FODDER!?! What are you doing here?" Myk-El demanded.
"I had to prove to you Legionnaires I could survive so you would
accept me, and that's just what I've-"
His words ended when a bolt of energy from across the room vaporized
him. Myk-El turned to see Crossover Queen holding a blue gemstone in
her hand. "You LNHers were fools to follow me here! I'll kill you
all!"
Multi-Tasking Man finished off the second to last of the Time
Crapper's goons. Only Table remained. MTM approached him warily,
expecting a trick of some sort.
"Perfesser, bootyslide!" the half-wooden man cried, vanishing in
sparkles.
"Hmmm. Why didn't he do that before?" Then Multi-Tasking Man
noticed the commotion across the room.
Contraption Man was torn between his duty to his ancestor, the
former Marvel Zombie Boy, and his duty as a member of the LNHSE. He
decided since he wouldn't be born for 200 years and the LNHSE wasn't
even in existence yet, his first duty was to his family.
He bent over the decaying corpse. "You have much yet to live for."
"No," the zombie moaned. "Marvel is a money-grubbing bunch of slave
drivers. I will not serve such as they."
Then Contraption Man hit on an idea. "How about Image?"
"Image? Yes, they have power..." A glow enveloped the one time
zombie, as Contraption Man looked on with concern, fearing he had
created a menace worse than the one he was trying to stop.
* * * *
In a realm far removed from reality, a soul drifted in limbo.
"How could it have been my time? I'm sure I would have known if it
were."
Yes, a voice in his mind said. You were taken out of time. Sorry,
our mistake; we're working on getting you a new body, but these things
take time.
The disembodied soul waited.
* * * *
The Time Crapper peered out at the unfolding scene from the shadows.
The LNH would doubtless attack the Crossover Queen, and when they did,
the Crapper would be ready to seize the power over crossovers for
himself.
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N E T G A I N S
=======================================================================
Welcome to the first edition of the Cry.Sig letter column, Net
Gains. Many questions have been asked, but few will be answered. For
example, I know everyone wants to know exactly what the true
significance of Cry.Sig is; stay tuned!
"...THE LNH POSTS ARE SOME OF THE MOST INTERESTING POSTS HERE. THEY
ACTUALLY SAY SOMETHING DIFFERENT IN EACH POST. MOST THREADS JUST
REPEAT THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL WE ALL GET BORED TO
DEATH. KEEP EM GOING. HMM, HOW ABOUT HAVE THE LNH (AND ALL THE
ASSORTED VILLAINS) DIE ON RAC AND HAVE A BATTLE IN HELL OR SOMETHING
:) THEY COULD RUN INTO SUPES AND LOBO. SOMETHING LIKE THAT..."
-MIKEL B.
Well, Mikel, thanks for the kind words. As for life after death,
how does the disembodied soul in this issue grab you? Who is it? We
ain't telling, but check out the upcoming CONTINUITY CHAMP: THE COSMIC
CONUNDRUM miniseries to find out. As for the whole LNH visiting the
"world beyond"... well, you never know...
"DEAR CRY.SIG CREATORS,
WOW!!! WOTTA RIOT!!!
I JUST GOT THROUGH READING CRY.SIG ON INFINITE NET.EARTHS AND THAT
IS ABOUT ALL I CAN SAY. EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS STORY WAS AWESOME.
FIRST OF ALL, YOU KILLED OFF ALL THOSE WORTHLESS NET.HEROES. I MEAN,
WHAT WAS CHEESECAKE-EATER LAD'S POWER? THE ABILITY TO MAKE THE
VILLAINS JEALOUS CUZ HE GOT TO EAT LOTS OF CHEESECAKE AND THEY
COULDN'T? GOOD MOVE ON YOUR PART I SAY. SAME GOES FOR THOSE OTHER
HOSERS AS WELL. POINTLESS DEATH MAN WAS SOOOO KEWL!!!!
1) HOW MANY GUNS DOES HE HAVE?
2) HOW MANY ROUNDS PER MILLISECOND DOES HE SHOOT?
3) DOES HE HAVE ANY SUPERPOWERS?
YOU GUYS SHOULD MAKE HIM INTO A HERO. HE WOULD BE SOOO AWESOME!!!
I BET HE COULD WHIP DIAL "D" FOR DVANDOM BLINDFOLDED WITH ONE ARM TIED
BEHIND HIS BACK, AND WITH ACCESS TO ONLY 4 OF HIS GUNS. KEEP UP THE
GOOD WORK. I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT ISSUE TO COME OUT. OH, BUT IT'S
OKAY IF THE NEXT ISSUE IS A LITTLE LATE (LIKE "OXBLOOD") CUZ IT TOOK
ALL MY ALLOWANCE TO BUY UP ALL THE ISSUES OF #2 I COULD FIND, AND NEXT
WEEK MY MOMMY IS GOING TO TAKE ME TO THE BANK SO I CAN GET A SAFETY
DEPOSIT BOX TO STORE THEM IN. WELL, UNTIL PARKING KARMA KID GETS A
TICKET... EVEN IF HE DOES, I'D STILL GET YOUR COMICS.
YOU ARE SOOOOO KEWL!!!!!!
YOURS FAITHFULLY,
BILLY."
Well, Billy, hope you're still with us even after what happened to PD
Man last issue. Don't worry, though, he'll be showing up again in the
next miniseries LNH: THE FLAME WARS due to popular demand.
Circumstances may even lead up to him and the Legion teaming up for a
while, but I wouldn't call it a "comfortable" relationship...
"BOY, I NEEDED TO READ THIS! :-) ALL I CAN SAY IS 'YES!!!' THIS IS
AWESOME, SORTA A MAINLINE COUNTERPART TO MY OWN RAPIDLY VERTIGO-IZING
STORYLINE! KEEP IT COMING!!!!
-SCAVENGER"
Thanks much for the kind words.
Well, that's all for this time. Be sure and keep those letters
coming! And be sure and be here next time as we reveal secrets upon
secrets! Issue #5 will feature a first for the LNH-a genuine
hollow-gram cover! The fate of Captain Capitalize - not given! The
search for the Editors! The LNH vs. Crossover Queen with the Time
Crapper waiting to pick up the pieces! All this and more!
-Drizzt
--
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Jeff Barnes "Mike, if my father were alive today, you
Western Kentucky University know what he'd say?"
Bar...@WKUVX1.BITNET "'Help, help, get me out of this coffin'?"
-SPIDER-MAN 2099 #1
My opinions are not necessarily those of WKU, but they should be! :+)
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