Evan Dorkin, The Usenet Interview -1-

[James S. Ottaviani]

The real beginning of the Evan Dorkin Usenet Interview.
We'll start with Lance Smith's questions and get to some
others in a day or so. As I mentioned earlier, Evan gave us
good long answers.

***

Lance Smith (lsm...@cs.umn.edu) -- Can you talk a little
about Mad Dog and Fight Man? Neither seems like the usual
Marvel comics.

Evan Dorkin -- I've got little to say about Mad Dog as a
book, as it's becoming a frustrating working experience for
me for two reasons. The first is that I never should have
accepted the job with my already overtaxed schedule. The
second is that it's the first time I've ever worked "Marvel
style". I'm scripting half of a "flip" book, the other
eleven pages are going to be written and drawn by Ty
Templeton and are the main reason to check the book out. Mad
Dog is a decent concept -- it's taken from the character
drawn by Bob Newhart on the unfunny "Bob" show, as opposed
to the sitcom itself. That's different. Templeton's material
will be a parody of the characters "50's" era, i.e. a parody
of good natured squeaky clean DC style shenanigans. That's
cool. My half was originally supposed to be a parody of the
grim and pretentious 80's/90's lone vigilante, "gritty" take
on the character -- much like the schism between the
ridiculous (and swell) Bill Finger and the intense and more
ridiculous (and "eh") Batguy. Anyway -- I took the job while
a bit buzzed on Rolling Rock at a Marvel lunch because
Fabien Nicieza (my Bill and Ted's excellent Comic editor,
who got my Fight-Man book accepted without even a written
plot proposal) asked me, and I felt obligated and flattered.
Unfortunately, somehow the parody angle was dropped and I
found myself doing a straight superhero gig. Let's just say
I'm uncomfortable working on someone else's concepts (which
don't appeal to me) of a plain old supertype thing where I
have no control over what the art will look like. On my
Predator scripts I'm in full synch with my penciller and we
talk about the book as collaborators, working from extremely
detailed full scripts. I've given up on Mad Dog -- I try to
do the best I can, but I dislike working plot first, then
pencils (with a faceless, rushed "typical" superhero artist)
and finally fitting in dialogue like a puzzle. Feh. It's
been an unpleasant learning experience that just tells me
that, ego aside, to do pure work you need to do it yourself,
or at least with real collaboration and not a McDonald's
assembly line system.
Fight-Man, on the other hand, has been an enjoyable, if
difficult experience. I'm still working on it as I type this
at 6:13 [a.m. -- jimO] Wednesday, March 17th, inf fact it
seems to be behind schedule. That's been my main problem,
I'm pencilling and scripting and the art is taking me a long
time. While F-M won't be your usual Marvel book (as opposed
to my section of Mad Dog) because, hopefully, it will be
thought out, drawn with care, written with some sense and
some jokes (again, hopefully) and not insult it's audience -
- except when it tries to on purpose. F-M's a one shot about
the resident supermoron of recession crippled Delta City.
The story concerns the intro of our "hero", who is a
thuggish frat boy with super powers, a sexist, imbecilic
pighead with a costume -- a superhero fanboy with a
defensive attitude who is at the core screwed up about his
sexuality, his manhood, his security, his social skills,
etc. etc. Of course this is all buried in subtext. The STORY
is about this super-jerk dealing with a mysterious enemy, a
rash of assassination attempts, an ex-wife's lawsuits, and
this all leads up to him fighting an entire city and scores
of equally spastic supervillians.
I mean, any "story" that has to use the word
"supervillian" or show guys in costumes flying around, where
you can't use mature concepts or language, where grown men
cannot be depicted with nipples (god forbid they should have
genitalia) but women are constantly drawn like strippers --
well, these comics SHOULD be written as ridiculous and
incredible, because THEY ARE. How people past the age of
seventeen can get freak-serious about Batman and X-Men is
fucking *way* beyond me. These same goofballs probably think
housewives hooked on cheesy soap operas are pathetic and
bizarre, but that's exactly what *they* are like.
Anyway, to wrap another one of my patented long and
pointless answers, Fight-Man should be a pretty good read
for your money, I don't know what else a mainstream book
should be. I tried to draw some crazy shit and write some
funny dialogue, with a subtle commentary on comic geekdom,
industry trends and collecting insanity and inanity in the
deep subtext. I wanted to do a book that super-geeks might
like because there's lots of fists and screaming and weird
villians (such as Crimeasaurus, the Plug In Maniac, Atomic
Lou, The One Man Atrocity). On the other hand, I wanted to
do a book that people who used to like superjocks would get
a real kick out of. Who knows, it could just turn out to be
another piece of crap.

Lance -- Does the cult-popularity of Milk and Cheese
surprise you at all? Can we expect Milk and Cheese Pez
dispensers anytime soon?

Evan -- Does it surprise me? Hell, yeah. Only an ego-boy
thinks he KNOWS what he's doing will click. I had an idea
they *might* please a few people early on because the
characters started out as doodles I did on convention
sketches or on letters to friends, and I only began putting
them in strips after I was told to by others who's seen
them. But keep in mind that their level of success is mild,
being a "cult" figure in what is essentially a cult industry
is pretty small potatoes. That said, I must confess I'm
amazed that the sales on the Milk & Cheese books are growing
and we're going into a fourth printing of the first volume.
True, this amounts to only about 9,000 copies -- but in
today's insane market that is success by small press
standards. Which is sad, really. But I'm hopeful, as the
sales are slowly rising on Pirate Corp$! as well, so who
knows what could happen. But again, seeing the reader
response to M&C, and the reaction in 'zines and the support
people are giving me (not the comics press, on the whole),
it's pretty incredible when you consider it's just pen and
ink.
Pez dispensers? If I could make a wish list that'd be
on it, along with Milk & Cheese beer and a Milk & Cheese
pinball machine. Ho hum.

Lance -- Whatever happened to Instant Piano?

Evan -- Instant Piano, the anthology from me, Kyle Baker,
Mark Badger, Stephen DeStefano and Robbie Busch, is finally
going ahead at Dark Horse Comics after a 2 or so year who
knows what. More info as it happens.

Lance -- Which is better: Seven Up, Sprite or Bubble Up?
Chuck Taylors or Vans? Ric Flair or Ricky "The Dragon"
Steamboat? McDonalds, Burger King, or White Castle?

Evan -- For me, Seven-Up. A dull answer, but honest. What's
Bubble Up? I mean, it's obviously akin to 7-Up, it must be
regional stuff. Sarah and I are avowed Coca Cola junkies
anyway, I hardly touch that "uncola" jazz. Other favorites
are A&W (no caffiene, tho'), Dr. Pepper, Dr. Brown's Cream
and Orange. I like most soda pop (I love the term "pop")
except for Coffee and Cel-Ray, the crack and heroin of
sodas, respectively. Brr.
I like Chuck T's better on the whole, but Van's makes
the essential black and white high-top checkerboard sneaker.
However, I'm currently hooked on the Converse red plaid
high-tops, which thankfully I bought two pairs of because
they were a limited release. Sarah has the blue/green
flannel plaid Converse which are equally swell. This reminds
me that I better find a pair of checked Vans because I wore
mine out months ago. (Such a troubled life we middle class
whiteboys live in America, eh?)
Ric Flair is tons better than the Dragon, that question
hardly merits asking. Flair is a master of the comic "flop",
only the Million Dollar Man rivals his "taking a fall"
shtick. I haven't been too up on "pro"-wrestling lately,
it's gotten too big business and my favorite wrestler, The
Anvil, retired. I was pretty sad when Andre the Giant died,
though. A world without someone named Andre the Giant is a
sadder one, I think. I loved it when he wrestled three
midgets at a time. And he was Bigfoot on the Six Million
Dollar Man "show". Poor Andre.
I can't eat Burger King anymore because the one near
where I worked in a comic store was a shithole and turned me
off to all BK's. Plus their commercials suck. McDonald's is
good factory fare, but their commercials not only suck but
are usually offensive to anyone with an I.Q. over 34.
Besides that, they redesigned all the McDonaldland
characters to resemble cutesy muppets a few years back and
eighty-sixed Mayor McCheese and Big Mac the cop, who I
happened to really like. So fuck 'em. So White Castle wins,
mainly on its infamy. Most people hate their food while
others swear by it like fanatical cultists. I'll admit to
being a former addict, bat also admit I've largely kicked
the habit because those burgers can kill. Devotees all make
up pet names for them -- "sliders", "murder-burgers", my mom
calls 'em "snake burgers". Sarah despises them. To those who
don't know, Castles (burgers) are small and square so you
have to eat about eight-ten of them. They're like Crystal
Burgers in the South. I ate thirteen once and threw up. Most
of the time my friends and I were drunk as hell downing these
things, which resulted in...tragedy. Castles will make
you bloated and sick when you're dead sober, no one knows
why they keep going back for more punishment -- but exactly
like drinking, they do. Eating at White Castle is just like
drinking -- you pile into a car, drive a distance, indulge
too much, and get sick. Then the next morning in the can you
swear to yourself you'll never do that again, and then
you're off to fucking White Castle a few days later. Men are
stupid and weak, and White Castle knows this. I tell you
this because I KNOW.

***

OK, that's all I have time for now.

Follow-up questions for Evan keep pouring in to
Interview Headquarters. Don't get left out. Respond
to this post or, more directly, to
hel...@engin.umich.edu

seeya
jimO
--