Ben Raab's British Dialogue (Re: Marvel is doing it right!)
Menshevik
<<On Sun, 1 Nov 1998 20:16:09 +0000, Paul O'Brien
<pa...@esoterica.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>Good point. To be honest, I'm so used to Marvel getting this wrong
>that it just drifts over me these days. Muir Isle has always been a
>particularly abysmal example - loads of annoying Whiskey Galore
>rejects doing whatever Moira says, because she's the laird. Utter
>bollocks, and roughly two centuries late.
There was an issue of ROM where he visits Wales and is attacked by
lots of pitchfork-wielding peasants. I could see drunken students
doing the pitchfork-wielding thing as a joke during rag week, but
otherwise, this was just the usual insultingly brain-dead stuff you
get from most American comics writers when they set stuff over here.
Oh, and Wales was identified as being in the southern tip of England.
Being Welsh, I *really* appreciated that one!>>
And to think that you Brits are well off compared to
the portrayal of most other nations...
When I think of e.g. the "Frankenstein" refugees
in Kurt Wagner's origin or that pretty much every
Central or Eastern European in Marvel and DC comics
seems to be either a peasant or an aristocrat who
favors patterns of behaviour that went out of fashion
since the war (the Crimean War, that is!)...
Tilman
"There was an old dwarf legend about the famous Horn of Furgle, which sounded
itself when danger was near and also in the presence, for some reason, of
horseradish."
Terry Pratchett: Soul Music
Paul O'Brien
<mens...@aol.com> writes
>
>And to think that you Brits are well off compared to
>the portrayal of most other nations...
>When I think of e.g. the "Frankenstein" refugees
>in Kurt Wagner's origin or that pretty much every
>Central or Eastern European in Marvel and DC comics
>seems to be either a peasant or an aristocrat who
>favors patterns of behaviour that went out of fashion
>since the war (the Crimean War, that is!)...
The American guide to world populations, continent by continent, based
on Marvel comics:
N AMERICA: Consists entirely of Americans, who are great, and Canadians,
who don't matter. They're not Americans, they're not hostile, and
there's only twenty seven million of the buggers, so who cares about
them?
S AMERICA: South America consists largely of Brazil, which is
populated entirely by drunken partying men and women in bikinis.
The Brazilian calendar contains 360 public holidays a year, all of
which are called "carnival." The remainder of South America is
extremely poor and populated by drug smugglers, military juntas, and
rebels trying to overthrow them. There are over nine thousand
countries in South America, most of which are three square miles
in area and will only ever be mentioned in one issue of Marvel Team-
Up. There is also Central America, which is completely
indistinguishable from South America.
AFRICA: Africa can be divided into four areas. 1) Desert. Populated
by noble tribesmen. 2) Jungle. Populated by noble tribesmen. 3)
South Africa and allegorically similar countries (Rudyarda, for
example). Populated by spectacularly lost rednecks and noble tribesmen.
4) Cairo. Populated by scheming bastard thieves. Not liking the
Egyptians is allowed, since they aren't black enough for it to be
racist.
WESTERN EUROPE: Rarely seen place where heroes go on romantic holidays.
An exception is the UK, which consists of England (populated by amusing
men who talk like Dick Van Dyke and a small number of landed
aristocrats, whom they worship), Scotland (where electricity is a very
new thing) and Wales (where electricity is scary). The most recent
census carried out in the Marvel Universe Ireland revealed that
60% of the population were leprechauns. The remainder gave their
occupation as "yokel".
EASTERN EUROPE: Very poor. Populated by amusing comedy gypsies who
will burn you as a witch for crimes such as flying, raising the
dead or knowing how to read. Also has surprisingly large population of
vampires and humanoid cows.
THE FORMER SOVIET UNION: Once a very threatening place full of scared
people. Now an amusingly down at heel place full of lovable vodka-
soused politicans. Good for a laugh. Notable areas of the former
Soviet Union include Siberia (like the rest, but colder) and some of
the Asian republics nobody can remember the name for, which make good
settings for the writer who's used Afghanistan one time too many.
Nobody ever sets stories in the far east of the former USSR or in
the Baltic States, as nobody has yet worked out sufficiently amusing
stereotypes for these areas.
JAPAN: Home of ninjas, samurais and postmodern references to anime
that most readers haven't seen. The Japanese are completely obsessed
with honour, to the extent where it doesn't actually have to make
sense and can be wheeled out by writers as a handy plot device. Just
call it giri and nobody will question it.
CHINA: Scheming bastards. Obligingly remain Communist to provide
convenient villain material. Christ knows what we'll do if they stop.
REST OF ASIA: Holds regular wars. Ideal setting for origin stories of
former mercenaries. Population divides roughly equally between refugees
and gooks. The remainder work in bars or are prostitutes.
Paul O'Brien
pa...@esoterica.demon.co.uk, www.tardis.ed.ac.uk/~prob/
Buy Belle and Sebastian records.
exa...@hotmail.com
wrote:
You've done them all perfectly Paul - except for *shudder*
Australia...
AUSTRALIA: Like Ireland without the leprechauns..... kangaroos in
every second panel to remind the geographically challenged....
dialogue and slang that is at the least 30 years old and American
cyborgs and mutants slumming it,,,,, Add a pinch of noble tribesman
and viola.... (Oh and about every third writer remembers to put
Australia in Europe LOL)
>On Thu, 5 Nov 1998 21:32:27 +0000, Paul O'Brien
><pa...@esoterica.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>
>>The American guide to world populations, continent by continent, based
>>on Marvel comics:
>
><snip of hilarious post>
>
>God, that is all so spot-on true, Paul. You nailed them perfectly.
>Bravo!
>
>
>Rob Hansen
>================================================
>My Home Page: http://www.fiawol.demon.co.uk/rob/
>Feminists Against Censorship:
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