History of the LNH
an1...@anon.penet.fi
Some say that the Legion began during the time of Nick Naime and
his agents of P.U.L.P. Others say that it went back even further,
back to the time when Boy Lad and Boy Lad Jr. would protect Net.ropolis
from the villainy of Bad Guy and Villain Ness. Still others would point
to the Classics Squad, the Tantalising Teens or the L.E.G.I.O.N. Such
tales owe their origin to retroactive continuity: in reality, the
Legion began with a single thread.
Back in May '92, on rec.arts.comics, there were a lot of people who
had a distinct net.personality. Someone (who was obviously having a
bad day) declared himself "Dr. Killfile" and threatened to killfile
all of them. Ben Pierce (aka Marvel Zombie_Lad) responded by calling
for all net.heroes to join forces against Dr. Killfile and his Legion
of Net.Villains. At least forty-four people responded to this call.
Craig Thomas Judd (aka Manga Man), however, chose instead to be the
first villainous WC; he put it upon himself to collect the first
forty-four or so posts together and give it a semblance of plot. So
was begun The Cosmic Plot Device Caper.
There are two versions of The Cosmic Plot Device Caper: the original
version and Drizzt's "Post Cry.Sig" version. Neither were finished.
Nevertheless, there have been a couple of stories that have alluded
to the unrecounted conclusion of the Cosmic Plot Device Caper, namely
The 501 Blues: A Lurk of Faith (by Todd Kogutt) and Generation Y #0
(by Martin Phipps). Lurk of Faith established that Rebel Yell did
not formally become leader of the LNH until after the Cosmic Plot
Device Caper, despite the clear leadership role that Rebel Yell
had in Drizzt's version of the Cosmic Plot Device Caper. Generation
Y#0, meanwhile, established that Rebel Yell was one of the LNH's
founding members along with Lurking Girl, Marvel Zombie_Lad, Kid
Yesterdaze and Loquacious Lad. The extent to which the description
of the LNH's origin as recounted in Generation Y#0 is canon depends
on how good Bad-Timing Boy's memory was, seeing as how the origin was
given as part of a flashback.
Two and a half months after the CPDC had stopped (as opposed to
finished :)), Todd Kogutt (aka Rebel Yell) tried to find out who
was still around out of all those who had originally got involved
in the LNH: it turned out that only about a dozen of them were still
active on the net (including Jef The KaTeFan [aka Cliche Dude],
Tori Fike [aka Lurking Girl], Brian Perler [aka Obscure Trivia Lad]
and Jeff Coleburn [aka Multi-Tasking Man]); the remainder were
eventually considered "Public Domain". Todd (who from here on will
be referred to as "Scavenger"), decided to make do with what characters
there were plus create some more (Typo Lad, List Lad, Allusion Lad),
making himself the first person claiming multiple WCs. This then
became The 501 Blues: The Long Road to Nowhere.
With TLRtN having come out, the LNH was less of a joke. New
people came along with their own LNH stories: Drizzt (CRY.SIG),
Dave Van Domelen (Sound of Clashing Metal, etc.), Stephane Savoie,
Hubert Bartels and Doug Wojtowicz (Integrity Quest), wReam (Sieze
Dangerous), Gary St. Lawrence (The Secret Origin of Sarcastic Lad)
and Jameel al Khafiz (The Comics Connection).
Now, with about fourteen people involved in the LNH in one form
or another (including Mark Friedman [aka Net Lurker]), the LNH
was just starting to get organised: Integrity Quest continued,
The Electricutioner's Song (by Jef, Scav., wReam and Dave) began
and Drizzt, Gary and Jameel went on and did their own insane
things. Meanwhile, Scavenger decided to form a "Council of Elders"
which included everybody _except_ the Integrity Questers, Gary
and Jameel. The latter were not considered "elder" at the time;
the Integrity Questers were omitted for political reasons.
Ah, yes. I refer you now to sections 4.1-4.2 of the FAQ where
it refers to "explicit sex, profanity" being "frowned upon" and
how "'Porno stories' are NOT allowed". Seems a reference to a
certain part of the male anatomy being in an excited state was
considered explicit, profane, even pornographic by... certain
people involved in the LNH at the time. This was the "Woody
Scandal". Thus were all of the Integrity Questers excluded from
the ranks of the Elders, even though Doug was the only one actually
guilty of pushing the envelope (at first).
In the interests in peace and harmony... well, actually because
he didn't have enough time to finish it on his own... Drizzt got
together himself, Stephane, Mike Caprio, Jef and Gary to do THE
FLAME WARS. It was significant in that it was the first multi-writer
effort that had an actual plot that was worked out in advance (by
Drizzt).
By this time, it was actually becoming difficult to break into
the LNH because the LNH already had so much history. Thus along
came a poor sap by the name of Martin Phipps who, being out of the
loop so to speak, was doomed to face the wrath of... whoever might
have a very strict view as to his own personal control over
continuity. At first he tried to play it safe by writing stories
outside of regular continuity (i.e. Generic Man (tm)) but then
the temptation to become part of regular LNH continuity became
too great and Deja Dude was retconned into continuity with The
Judas Handshake, And Now The Good Guys (tm) and Deja HULK.
Then heroes started dropping like flies: Lost Cause Boy of the
Net Patrol (formerly the Integrity Questers) died in the Lost
Cause Boy Special (by Doug), Continuity Champ died in Blaze of
Glory (by Drizzt) and even Generic Man (tm) found himself
in a state of discontinued life in Generic Man (tm) #7... only
to return, miraculously, in Generic Man (tm) #8. Any similarities
between these stories and The Death of Superman is, of course,
pure coincidence. ;)
Generic Man (tm) #7-8 was, BTW, only the second time Generic
Man (tm) and The Good Guys (tm) met any of the LNH besides Deja
Dude, namely Bad-Timing Boy, Doctor Stomper, Sidewinder, Super
Apathy Lad, Irony Man and Procrastination Boy. The latter two
hadn't been used since their first appearance in The Cosmic
Plot Device Caper; this fact was capitalised upon in In Pursuit
of the Net.Villains in which these characters plus Deja Dude
decided to singlehandedly go after the Brotherhood of Net.Villains
(introduced during THE FLAME WARS). It so happened that wReam's
own plans involved having the Legion question the leadership of
Ultimate Ninja... who was taking over the leadership of the LNH
after the departure of Rebel Yell as a result of A Lurk of Faith.
This then lead to The Leadership Crisis which had Ultimate Ninja
officially assuming authority as leader of the LNH (and a _lot_
of wrangling over continuity, BTW).
The Crossover Caper (by Jef, Jameel, Mike Escutia [aka Pliable
Lad] and Martin) was the first LNH mini-series since The
Electricutioner's Song to involve a storyline that ran over several
different titles, notably Deja Dude / Master Blaster (by Martin
with help from Gary amongst others), LetterinG MaN (by Charles
Fitzgerald) and All Things Dark and Scary (by Josh Geurink [aka
Occultism Kid]). Jungle Cheesecake was the second: it originated
in Ultimate Ninja and crossed over into LNH (which is how Martin
began to refer to his stories), LetterinG MaN (by Charles) and
Tales of the LNH (by Hubert). Meanwhile, Jameel, Mike and Andre
Condon had their own continuity going in Particle Man, Pliable
Lad and Kid Chivalry, respectively. (Deja Dude / Master Blaster
#6 featured, BTW, the climactic battle between Pocket Man and
Master Blaster for the love of Organic Lass as well as the first
appearance of Gary's Elvis Man.)
Summertime meant that fewer people were on the net: it also
meant that those of us who were around had more time to write.
Mike, Dave, Ken Schmidt (aka the villainous Tsar Chasm) and Jameel
put out a considerable amount of stuff over the summer including
Pliable Lad #2-6 (by Mike), Constellation #1-9 (by Dave), The
Great Public Domain Caper and LNH Comics Present #1-6 + Special #1
(all by Ken), The Three Day Lull (by these three plus Martin, Steve
Hutchison [aka the Invisible Incendiary], Jeff McCoskey, Steph, Andre,
wReam and Gary) and Kid Kirby and Sing Along Lass #3-4, The LNH vs.
Dimwiticus and Particle Man #3-8 (all by Jameel).
As expected, Continuity Champ returned in THE FLAME WARS II
(by Drizzt, Gary, Mike Caprio, Martin and Josh). This then allowed
for Continuity Champ appearances in Through the Looking Glass
(LNH #58, a sequel to Martin's earlier story, Mirror Mirror) and Descent
(LNH #63-67, a sequel to The Crossover Caper). Meanwhile, Drizzt was
putting together the Drizzt's Defenders.
What then followed were two more multi-writer storylines, namely
the Universal Bureaucracy storyline which began in, of all places,
the Wrath of the Administrator (by the Net.Trenchcoat Brigade),
showed up in Constellation (by Dave) and crossed over into Easily
Discovered Man (by Rob Rogers), Pliable Lad (by Mike) and Errand Boy
(by Eric Sturgeon)... and Looniverse Adrift (by Ken and Jeff McCoskey)
which crossed over into Errand Boy (by Eric Sturgeon), Constellation
(by Dave) and LNH Triple Play (by Jeff). Meanwhile, Martin's LNH was
establishing itself as a flagship title with stories like Interlude
(LNH #62), Deja Four (LNH #68), Acts of Violence (LNH #69-71),
The Final Fate of Flameproof Lad (LNH #72-73), Peril Room Duty
(LNH #74), Old Acquaintance (LNH #75) and PC or not PC (LNH #77) all
serving to help resolve LNH continuity.
The Omaha Project (by Ben R. Pierce, Russ Allbery, Christopher J.
Sypal, Rob Rogers, David Henry, Mike Escutia and Arthur Spitzer) had
various Legionaires (Easily Discovered Man, Easily Discovered Man Lite,
Pliable Lad, Parking Karma Kid and Tour Guide Girl) being sent to Omaha
to investigate an explosion.
Jeff McCoskey (with help from Ken, Hubert, Dave and Steve Hutchinson)
wrote LNH Triple Play #3, the Valentine Ball. Saint Squad #2 (by Gary)
then had Pocket Man propose to Organic Lass. They were married
in Giant Sized LNH #6 (by Martin and Gary with Rebecca Drayer).
Meanwhile, Pencil Rain was working for the Waffle Queen (in Rob and
Jameel's Breakfast in America crossover), robots were invading (in Dave
Van Domelan, Arthur Spitzer, Robert Armstrong, Rob Rogers and Mike
Escutia's RoboMACE crossover) and the LNH Registration Act had passed
(a storyline that was resolved in Drizzt's Continuity Champ and
the Drizzt Defenders #12 and Martin's LNH #83). Then, in LNH #85,
Squid Boy (who had only recently taken up the identity of Squidman
in Constellation #24-25) died from a mysterious virus. Squid Boy's
funeral took place in LNH #86 and Constellation #26.
It was around this time that a lot of new blood was joining the
Legion, specifically in Decibel Dude and Vigilantee Guy by Tick,
Swordmaster and the Load Island Renegades by Badger, Glitch Girl and
the Alt.ter.Net.tives by Marie Antoon, Johnny Stomper by Josh,
Coma Kid and Continuity Champ Junior by Mystic Mongoose and
Generation Y by Martin. Meanwhile, Squid Boy returned from the dead
in Constellation #29; with his former mentor now having become a
trademarked character, Squid Boy chose to continue on in the Legion as
Squidman.
Retcon Hour (by Jeff, Badger, Tick, Mongoose, Martin, Dave, Mike,
Zygag, Hubert, Stirge and Paul Hardy) spanned July and August '94.
In order to confuse the LNH, the Time Crapper was creating alternate
timelines and allowing them to exist simultaneously. This resulted
in, amongst other things, multiple versions of Myk-El and Squalor to
come into being. In particular, these Myk-El versions ranged from
good to evil since Acton Lord had apparently been responsible for
Myk-El turning evil in the first place so it was easy enough for
TC to create alternate Myk-Els, some good and some evil. In order to
stop TC, Entity arranged a RACCelestial Madonna Pagent, one that would
choose the RACCelestial Madonna who would gain the power to defeat
the Time Crapper. Knowing that he'd be defeated by the RACCelestial
Madonna, the post-CRY.SIG version of the Time Crapper tried to prevent
the RACCelestial Madonna Pagent but was defeated by Decibel Dude and
Panta. The pre-CRY.SIG version of TC was oblivious to all this: he was
busy trying to coerce Contraption Man into creating a machine capable
of shaping time as he saw fit. Contraption Man was, however, under the
influence of wReamicus Maximus, having been kidnapped between panels in
Jungle Cheesecake and brainwashed into being an Acolyte of DVANDOM.
wReamicus Maximus reasoned that the LNH would try to recover the Ring
of Retcon as a means of stabilising time and laid in waiting for that
eventuallity: he told his Acolyte to play along with TC but stall rather
than build his machine. Sure enough, Continuity Champ Junior, working
with his fellow GenYers, managed to retrieve the Ring of Retcon.
wReamicus Maximus sent the Legion of Unliving Legionaires against GenY
and stole the ring. When wReam put on the ring, he started retconning
continuity. This then got the attention of the Rac.ctre who started
gathering up heroes to defeat wReamicus. Meanwhile, VAMMO Woman was
crowned RACCelestial Madonna and teamed up with one of the variant
Myk-Els to defeat TC I and II. They then proceeded to join the other
heroes in defeating wReam. With wReamicus Maximus defeated, VAMMO
Woman used her power as RACCelestial Madonna to recover continuity...
with the stipulation that the divergent, heroic Myk-El remain in this
timeline and be her consort. Retcon Hour ended with the introduction
of two new LNH subgroups, The Legion of Occult Heroes (by Paul Hardy)
and Dvandom Force (by Dave).
Mike Escutia wrote a great deal during the fall of '94, including
Retcon Midnight (along with Russ Allbery, David Anastasion and Drizzt),
The Crisis of Infinite Sidekicks (along with Marie Antoon and Tick),
which ended with the death of Echo Lad, and Pliable Lad #30 which
described the wedding of Pliable Lad to Tour Guide Girl. The death
of Echo Lad apparently had a profound affect on Typo Lad who decided
to spend less time in the public eye. (Actually it was Scavenger
deciding
to not let Typo Lad be used. Whatever.)
Many new writers appeared during the year following Retcon Hour:
Campbell
March (Guitarless Man), Saxon Brenton (Limp Asparagus Lad), Rene
Villareal
(Dog Boy), Ben Rawluk (Kid Mysticism), Mike Friedman (Spite Grrrl), Eric
Gearman (Leftover Lad), Jamas Enright (Fan Boy), Jennifer Whitson
(Misfits),
Old Auspex (Kid Kiwi) and Abhay Hoshla (Refugees). Meanwhile,
Chris Gumprich
had become the official RAC reviewer as well as, eventually, the
writer of
R.E.J.E.C.T.s.
Crimes of the Brotherhood (by Jeff McCoskey, Martin Phipps,
Badger, Tick,
Drizzt, Mike Friedman, Jaelle, Rob Rogers and Scott Johnson) proved to be
the LNH's most lackluster crossover in years with the Brotherhood of
Net.Villains making ineffective attacks against the Legion. The
surprise,
and somewhat anticlimactic, ending of the storyline came in
Continuity Champ
and the Drizzt Defenders #22 which revealed Mr. Homage to be none
other than
Robbing Liefield. With their leader captured, the remaining
members of the
Brotherhood turned to Lagneto for leadership and relocated to Asteroid L.
Meanwhile, Sig.Lad's funeral took place, Sig.Lad having been killed in
Dvandom Force #48 while doing battle with an evil Sig.Lad from an
alternate
future.
Martin
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