[SG] Exarchs #1 - Ex Loonis Altiversis
Dave Van Domelen
pondered the goblet in his hand. The dark liquid within rippled sluggishly
as it redly reflected the wan light of the Darklord's chambers.
"Plans proceed apace," he announced to the room, empty of both the
living and the dead. "Where other invasions failed, ours will succeed,
because we will not make the mistake of attempting to use main force against
the heroes and armies of the realm. They have that distressing habit of
obtaining an even greater force from somewhere or other, after all."
He stood and paced the length of the room, his scarlet robes swirling
about him like a living thing.
"We shall start small, slow and subtle, and turn any enemies into allies
using the magics of the Dark Wardens. Any power thrown against us will
become ours, and soon the entirety of that reality will belong to the
Darklords."
He chuckled softly, a sound that would have frozen the blood of the
living and unliving alike, had any been present to hear it.
@>-`-,-`-,-`-,`-,-`-,-`-,-`- \\ // -'-.-'-.'-.-'-.-'-.-'-.-'-<@
.|,Coherent Comics Presents \\ // #1 - Ex Loonis Altiversis
--X------------------------- E }X{ ARCHS copyright 2002 by the
'|` A Superguy Tale // \\ Dvandroid (Dave Van Domelen)
@>-`-,-`-,-`-,`-,-`-,-`-,-`- // \\ -'-.-'-.'-.-'-.-'-.-'-.-'-<@
The last thing Sig.Lad remembered was struggling in the grasp of DeFacto
V as the armor that protected him from his own powers started to crack. Then
there was a bright flash of light...and nothing.
Suddenly, with a flash of panic, he realized he was no longer wearing
that armor! He reached up to grasp the Plotdevicium medallion he wore around
his neck, then cursed as his fingers were scalded by the molten metal resting
against his insulated costume. He forced his eyes open and looked on the
formerly golden disc, which was now a grayish lump of dull metal...hot to the
touch.
"Where are we?" he heard Rotanna moan from behind a nearby shrub.
"If anyone says we're not in Kansas anymore, I will step on them.
Hard," replied Kopikat, who seemed to be behind Sig.Lad somewhere. Her voice
sounded unsteady and weak, with a slight hum behind it, as if the robotic
net.hero had suffered some damage to her vocalizer.
Sig.Lad struggled to his feet and looked around, spotting the bright
orange-yellow of Cheez Arrow's costume in a nearby tree. The four of them
were in some kind of light woods, with no real sign of civilization nearby.
Although there did seem to be a track of some sort through the woods, a
footpath or something.
"Well, we don't seem to be in Sig.ago at any rate, unless someone blew
it up and then planted trees all over it," Sig.Lad proclaimed, stretching his
arms and being surprised to feel their solidity. "And whatever happened, I'm
cured! The Super Molder Serum feels like it's gone from my body!"
"So, no risk that you'll collapse into a puddle, then?" Kopikat asked as
she limped over to him. She was in her human disguise, but something wasn't
quite right. Then Sig.Lad realized that despite the softness of the ground,
Kat wasn't leaving deep footprints as she usually did.
"Great news!" Rotanna said as she picked bits of shrubbery out of her
hair. "Gjvtf ortbar!"
Nothing happened. Rotanna sighed and concentrated. "Gjvtf ORTBAR!"
Cheez Arrow dropped from the branches of his tree. "I've got a bad
feeling about this. My bow is gone...Squidman must still have it, wherever
he is...Rotanna's spells aren't working. Sig.Lad, do you still have any
power?"
Sig.Lad frowned. "I...no. I can't feel the Sig.Force. And I'm not
just back in control of my body, I don't seem to be able to change form at
all," he spread out his hands and concentrated, but nothing happened. "And
unless I miss my guess, Kat's lost a lot of mass."
Kopikat nodded. "What you see is what you get, at least until I can
assimilate some more raw materials. Ow. Lots of systems are down right now,
I can't even tell what's all broken. My memories SEEM to be intact, but I
know I had to have lost a lot of storage." Of all the mass in her full
robotic form, a goodly percentage of it was devoted to memory, memory she
usually shunted into subspace and lost access to.
Meanwhile, Cheez Arrow had pulled out his cellphone and tried it.
"Nothing. It must have been fried in the explosion, I can't even get it to
turn on."
"About that explosion," Rotanna frowned. "What the hell(TM)...um, why
did that (TM) just appear?"
"No clue," Sig.Lad shrugged, carefully removing the burnt out
Plotdevicium medallion. "At least about the trademark. But something hit
this piece of Plotdevicum and exploded. The energy must have hurled us
somewhere else instead of vaporizing us."
"I can answer the question of the explosion, at least," Cheez Arrow
scowled. "Squidman tried to kill you, to save reality. Because I didn't
have the guts to do it."
"How?" Rotanna asked.
"My AtomiCheez arrow. It was the only thing that could make a dent in
DeFacto V's Black Widow Robo. But only a dent, what with all the cosmic
power he was throwing around. So, while I was dithering, Squidman grabbed
the bow and shot Sig.Lad to derail DeFacto V's future."
"You were carrying a NUKE around?" Rotanna goggled in disbelief.
"Only a little one," Cheez Arrow shrugged. "Anyway, looks like we
didn't get killed by the blast, just thrown somewhere."
"So, where's the others? I mean, if Squidman had just grabbed the bow
from you, he'd have been right next to you, so why didn't he get transported
as well?" Sig.Lad asked.
"Maybe he did, just farther away. Lemme see if I can get scanners back
online," Kopikat's face assumed a somewhat faraway expression.
"While she's looking, let's take stock. We might be stuck here for a
while," Sig.Lad looked around, taking in the situation. "I have no powers,
neither does Rotanna. Kopikat is injured and way below optimum strength.
Stan, how are you?" he asked Cheez Arrow, aka Stanley King.
"A bit battered, and I have no bow, but I still have some trick arrows.
I can throw 'em like grenades in a pinch. The trees around here aren't good
bow-making material, but I'll keep an eye out. After all, I made my first
bow while stranded on a desert island."
"I'm not totally useless, you know," Rotanna huffed. "I'm okay in a
hand to hand fight, and I know a few tricks that aren't magical."
"Right, and I grew up in a net.hero family," Sig.Lad nodded, "so between
that and having to deal with unpredictable powers I've got some decent
martial arts skills myself. Especially if I can get my hands on a sword. I
may no longer have my connection to the Sig.Force, but I'm still an Arthurian
Incarnation, that counts for something."
"Um, guys?" Kat broke out of her reverie. "I think I know where we are,
more or less. China."
"What makes you say that?" Rotanna asked.
"The small horde of Chinese guys waving weapons and heading towards us,"
she pointed down the footpath. "And not modern China either, those guys are
carrying spears and stuff."
"You still spear-proof, Kat?" Sig.Lad asked.
"I think so. Not really sure," she shrugged. "I've still got a lot of
damage here, a poke in the side might undo some repairs and take me out."
"Okay, everyone fan out, try to get your back to something solid. Here
they come!" Sig.Lad shouted.
A few dozen men in shabby clothing and bare feet surged into the
clearing, shouting and hollering, then pulled up short and formed a line
between the net.heroes and the path. A man in slightly less shabby clothing
and carrying a sword stepped a pace forward and addressed them.
"You have trespassed on our territory!" he proclaimed. The odd thing,
though, was that his voice seemed to come from nowhere in particular, and his
mouth was nowhere near to moving in synch with his words.
"He's dubbed," Rotanna hissed.
"Quiet, woman!" the leader shouted. "We represent the Lai Lee Poh
Guild!"
"The Lai Lee Poh Guild?" Kopikat asked.
"The Lai Lee Poh Guild!" one of the brigands nodded.
"And in the name of the Lai Lee Poh Guild," the leader continued, "we
wish to relieve you of any valuables you may be carrying. And we'll be
having your women as well."
"Not EVEN," Kat snarled, a harsh electronic buzz suffusing her words.
"Quiet, woman!" the leader repeated himself. "It is not as if your
clowns of protectors will be able to stop us!"
Cheez Arrow calmly pulled an arrow from his quiver.
"Ha ha ha!" the leader threw back his head in laughter. "What good is
an arrow with no bow?"
"Behold the power of Cheez," was the simple reply, as Cheez Arrow lobbed
the arrow behind the bandits. The capsule at its tip burst, releasing a
pungent green-yellow cloud of potent Cheez vapors.
"Go!" Sig.Lad shouted, leaping at the leader. His own domino mask had
filters that protected his eyes from the stinging vapors, and he knew enough
not to breathe in until the gas had dissipated. He quickly disarmed the
leader and kicked the man in the gut, sending him down gagging and choking.
Rotanna had grabbed a spear from one of the nearer men who was busy
puking up his guts and started tripping up the few who had remained
standing. As the gas was heavier than air, this sent them back into its
greatest concentration, and the air was filled with sounds of retching.
For her part, Kopikat just waded into the fray, since she didn't need to
breathe and her body was still made of metal. Her combat technique was
clumsy, especially for her, but it was sufficient. One smashing fist was
enough to drop even the stoutest of the brigands.
Cheez Arrow merely threateningly waved another arrow at the nearest men
and they broke and ran in panic.
Soon, all the brigands were either unconscious or fleeing. Stan was
picking through the abandoned spears, testing their flex with an eye towards
converting one into a bow.
"So, now what?" Kopikat asked, the buzz in her voice somewhat less
noticeable.
"Well, we could wait for one of our sleeping beauties to wake up, then
pump him for information," Sig.Lad said. "Looks like we're stuck in the
past, but if there's any sorcerors we might be able to get a trip back home."
"Or you could ask me," said a shadowy figure in a black trenchcoat as he
stepped out from behind a tree.
"The Dvandom Stranger!" everyone chorused.
"Not...quite," came the reply.
NOT QUITE THE DVANDOM STRANGER?
WHAT'RE ALL THESE LEGION OF NET.HEROES CHARACTERS DOING IN SUPERGUY?
FOR THAT MATTER, ARE THEY LIKELY TO ENTER 000SUPERGUY AT SOME POINT?
WHAT THE BLANKETY-BLANK IS AN EXARCH?
The answers to some of these questions (or maybe all of them), on the
next...SUPERGUY!
============================================================================
Author's Notes:
Lo and hail, for I return to Superguy after a lengthy absence. No
guarantees I'll be around long, we'll see how things go. My intent is to
make the installments of Exarchs fairly short, so I can usually put them
together in a single sitting (rather than the 3-5 sittings a typical ASH
installment can take me).
Now, for the benefit of those fairly new to readership, here's a brief
summary of the four main characters. For more details, you might want to
check http://www.physics.ohio-state.edu/~dvandom/LNH/forcestories.html and
read up through Dvandom Force #48 for more.
Sig.Lad - My first "writer character" in the Legion of Net.Heroes,
Richard Franklins is the son of Fred Franklins, aka Mr. Thingy of the
Net.astic Nine, Silver Age net.heroes. Placed in a constricting trap by one
of the NN's enemies, he was saved by an injection of the Super Molder Serum,
which gave him an elastic body. At some point later on, he bonded with the
cosmic Sig.Force, which represented the power of newsgroup signatures and
sig.files, and gained a wide assortment of abilities. However, the Super
Molder Serum started to break down, rendering him increasingly unstable. In
one timeline, the search for his cure led to the creation of DeFacto V, a
cybernetic tyrant who ended up ruling the world. A time-traveling team from
this dark future came back and helped avert this, at the cost of Sig.Lad's
life. Apparently.
Sig.Lad also had a temporal twin who bonded to the Corruption Force (aka
Acton's Law), becoming known as the villain Acton Lord. The two were
eventually revealed to be the Looniversal reincarnations of Arthur and
Modred, with the Sword of .Sig held by Sig.Lad being Excalibur. Well, an
Excalibur. There's plenty of Arthurian echoes in the Looniverse.
Sig.Lad was more or less the leader of the Secret Dvanders and its
successor team Dvandom Force. He is not a parody per se, but he accumulated
bits of parody over his career (Franklin Richards, Super-Soldier Serum,
etc).
Kopikat - Born Katherine Anders in an alternate reality where humanity
had been supplanted by its own robotic creations, she was "scanned" into a
Robo body and eventually became a mercenary on the run from both major
factions of her world. When Acton Lord contacted this world as part of plans
to conquer the Looniverse, Kopikat slipped into the Looniverse and joined the
Legion of Net.Heroes, attaching herself to Sig.Lad as a protector.
Eventually her true nature was revealed, and she traveled to Sig.ago with the
rest of Dvandom Force.
Her true form is a 8 meter tall humanoid robot with the ability to
transform into a giant panther. However, a nanitic infestation rendered her
form more fluid, allowing her to assume any form she desired. The effects of
her injuries on her powers will be revealed in future episodes.
She's not a parody of anyone in particular, but her original visual
design was based on John Byrne's style of robots.
Rotanna - Anna Tanner is the daughter of Silver Age magical hero Rotara,
and shares his talent for Rot-13 cypher magic. This is a simple replacement
cypher where every letter is shifted 13 spaces, so A becomes N, B becomes O,
etc. Her father's arch-enemy was responsible for the trap that almost killed
Sig.Lad as a child. She's a blatant parody of Zatanna.
Cheez Arrow - Stanley King (Oliver Queen, get it?) is a rich
industrialist who was stranded on a desert island shortly before assuming
control of his father's business empire. Trapped with a shipment of really
hard cheese, he developed arrowheads out of the substance and taught himself
archery to survive. After being rescued, he put his company's research labs
to work developing various combat-useful cheeses and went into the net.hero
business, running into the newly formed Dvandom Force and joining them. He's
a parody of the Green Arrow.
Note: there are several Cheez-powered net.heroes in the Looniverse,
starting with Cheeezarr and expanding from there.
Saxon Brenton
any other name would read as sweet...
And yet a feeling of ambivalence remains. Lets see if I can put my
finger on it...
Ah yes.
<immense irony voice> Thank you, Dave, for reminding me of how much
I was in _Dvandom Force_ withdrawal. <end immense irony voice>
But of course, my rather minor problems of coming down of a
nostalgia trip high aren't significant compared to the confusion that
other people are having...
[segue to RACCafe]
"What?"
At this utterance Arvie the Wonder Dog looked up from wiping the bar
to where Sig.Lad was. The cigarette-addicted talking dog's fellow barman
was standing there with a puzzled look on his face. "Something up?" the
Wonder Dog asked.
"Check out this latest Superguy posting," said Sig.Lad.
Arvie read through the posting, as did a number of nearby patrons
who had heard the exchange and were curious. "Hey, cool. You get to see
some more action."
"Well, maybe. Thing is... I don't remember any of *that*. I mean, if
this is the first gig a got after I died..."
Over at the piano, Brain Boy played a dramatic sting: da-da-da-DUM.
"Maybe it's a parallel universe version of you," suggested Hans
Kartoffelkopf
"Temporal divergence?" said Alan Covenant.
"Or maybe they're clones," put in Swordmaster, who'd been there,
repeatedly, and had found it wise to keep an eye out for that sort of
thing.
"At least they don't seem to be *evil* counterparts," commiserated
Brain Boy.
"Oh, look, it's probably just Hypertext-Time," said Fan.Boy, "and
it'll be a bit of your personal history that you just don't happen to
remember at the moment, or something."
Sig.Lad looked dubious over the last suggestion.
"So, what happens now?" asked Arvie, quite deliberately throwing
the initiative back to Sig.Lad.
"Keep watching to see what happens?" someone butted in.
"That sounds like a plan," said Sig.Lad.
----------
Saxon Brenton Uni of Technology, city library, Sydney, Australia
saxon....@uts.edu.au
UTS CRICOS Provider Code: 00099F
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Dave Van Domelen
Dave Van Domelen, will be revealing more in #2, FWIW....