Misc/Acra: Honey-Love Bunny #2
Matthew Brande
Honey-Love Bunny Gets a Room
Honey-Love Bunny strolled into the Shaker Motel, looking to bed for
the night.
Honey-Love Bunny was a little demoralized, there was scarce a person
in the
small plot along the road. Yet Honey-Love Bunny bellied up to the
reception
desk. Honey-Love Bunny was scrawled intricately into the Motel
register,
occupancy of one lonely Honey-Love Bunny.
"You got cash?" the older man behind the counter asks. Honey-Love
Bunny pats
the credit card logos. The man holds out a hand, but Honey-Love Bunny
shrugs,
meaning to say, I'm a nudist dude. Honey-Love Bunny shakes hands with
the bag
of bones and points outside. The man smiles a bit. "If that's what
you're
asking-"
Honey-Love Bunny nods a bit. The man leaves, not realizing that Honey-
Love
Bunny is a bunny, not interested in limp old noodles like that. Honey-
Love
Bunny steps behind the desk, swiping at a key. Honey-Love Bunny exits
and
quickly makes way into the nest. The Motel's Manager makes a grand
entrance to
the small and empty office. He looks to the key board.
"Ah! But my love has chosen room nineteen! Still!, still my heart!
Soon you
will be loved!" He waits a few minutes, so as to not appear
desperate. Soon,
he makes his way to his ever so loving Honey-Love Bunny, extra key in
one hand,
special gift in the other.
He checks his breath and knocks first at the door. "Hello, my
precious
Honey-Love Bunny! Hello! It is I, the Manager!, here to check your
plumbing!"
He holds his breath, and hears the door unlocking. Oh Glorious Day,
thinks
the Manager as the door opens. Oh no! What is this?! The Manager
double-takes at the two Honey-Love Bunnies now occupying room
nineteen.
"There are two of you?! I'm so unprepared! To think: Two Honey-Love
Bunnies!
I'm so wasted as to any other thought. But look at this! I'm so
unprepared!"
The Honey-Love Bunnies seem to be in conversation. They motion him to
be fully
prepared, as he nods them off. Like a moth to the flame, the Manager
returns.
Come now! What is this?! Four Honey-Love Bunnies? How could he
Manage this
delightful turn of events? He was old, and not getting any younger.
It was at
that the Manager entered. He was shoved aside by the first Honey-Love
Bunny he
encountered. Being old and wrinkled frazzled him enough, but being
manhandled
like that with no response? No way! But he was humiliated in
another
manhandling, feeling so lowly to be dumped into the mud. Now, now he
would
have to rise and deliver for the Sanchez family name!
"Hello? Police? I've just been accosted. Yes, Sanchez, at the
Shaker Motel
on Route 69. Please, hurry!"
Well, there goes another love, he pouted in the few minutes it took
for an
officer to arrive. The Manager noticed the lights, but no sirens. He
waited
as patiently as he could. The Officer strode in. He was a mean
brute, giving
the Manager an evil look.
"You're a dirty player, Sanchez. You know that?"
The Manager quickly points outside. "There! There! Room nineteen!
They're
dressed in bunny costumes! Follow me! No, no! You'd better go
first. I
don't want to be accosted twice in one night!"
From behind, he urges the police officer to room nineteen. "Honey-
Love Bunny!
It was Honey-Love Bunny that accosted me! That horrible person,"
pouts the
Manager. Together they reach the climax of their destination, room
nineteen.
The officer pounds on the door, getting a start out of the Manager.
"Open up
in there! Sheriff's Department!" To the Manager, "If they don't open
up,
you'll have to man up pretty quick." Having the effect to start the
Manager
all over again. The door opens up, Officer Maloney-- as reads his
nameplate--
makes a grab at his weapon, his loose grip slipping, he taking hold
again.
There to greet Officer Maloney and the Manager is Honey-Love Bunny.
Behind
Honey-Love Bunny, the room is filled nearly to the brim of Honey-Love
Bunnies.
Officer Maloney laughs, letting loose the hold on his weapon.
Officer Maloney casually enters room nineteen. The Manager just can't
bring
himself to go in there, that room has defiled him to no end! Officer
Maloney
asks: "Which one of you is Honey-Love Bunny?"
There is a moment where they look to each other; some shrug, some look
to be in
hidden conversation only they can understand. Finally an answer
arrives when
fingers start pointing. All the Honey-Love Bunnies are pointed out.
Officer
Maloney slowly backs out. "I'm going to need alot of back-up out
here." The
Manager hearing of the need for back-up, could have died of a heart
attack.
After all was said and done, there were sixty-four Honey-Love Bunnies
arrested
that night. All but one were released.
"Honey-Love Bunny," Officer Maloney said, sitting at a desk in the
booking
office. Honey-Love Bunny rose, moving to the edge of the jail cell.
honey-Love Bunny acted as if pouting. "Poor bunny-- no! I can't set
you free!
You're here because you accosted Manager Sanchez! You're the real
deal! Some
sort of criminal genius mastermind! What sort of crimes you've
committed we'll
know soon enough. I just hope and pray we've gotten you off the
streets in
time!" Officer Maloney waited for a reply, receiving the pouty look
again
followed by a shrug of the shoulders.
"Well, you know what I've got to say to you? Good riddance! You've
got a
room, for a helluva long time, too!" Officer Maloney bolted out of
the room,
turning the light off to Honey-Love Bunny, slamming the booking room
door
behind with a hollow clang.
Matthew Brande 2009