Ted Samsel - Illuminati?
Ted Samsel
: I used to be amused by r.a.b. denizen Ted Samsel's sig - "1996 -
: Year of the Accordion", but I now realize that something much more
: sinister is going on here. This week's mail brought an advance
: excerpt of E. Annie Proulx's next novel, _Accordion Crimes_ -
: which is, yes, a novel about the life and times of a Sicilian
: accordion maker. The runaway success of Proulx's _The Shipping
: News_ almost guarantees bestsellerdom for _Accordion Crimes_,
: which means the airports and beaches and parks this summer will be
: filled with people soaking up accordion history, accordion lore,
: heartwarming accordion vignettes. Even more frightening is the
: certainty that the large publishers, in their lack of originality
: and desire to copy someone else's success, are certain to release
: a torrent of copycat titles, which will assuredly carry the
: accordion phenomena well into 1997. Who knows what twists the
: nightmare might take, but one can speculate:
I only deal with small press types, thank you very much. I can browbeat
them more readily than I can the majors. What I'm looking forward to
doing is a musical of Michael Lesey;s WISCONSIN DEATH TRIP with the
libretto done by either Cormac McCarthy or Quentin Tarentino and massed
button accordion & hardanger fiddle chorii.
But if I get a patron, say Stanley Marsh 3 or Jack Kent Cooke, I'd be
willing to change the state from Wisconsin to, say, Texas or Virginia.
Comments, donations, queries?
--
Ted Samsel....tejas@infi.net *1996* Year of the Accordion~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Home of the brave, land of the free,
I don't want to be mistreated by no bourgoisie."
Huddie Ledbetter
Michael Boggs
Year of the Accordion", but I now realize that something much more
sinister is going on here. This week's mail brought an advance
excerpt of E. Annie Proulx's next novel, _Accordion Crimes_ -
which is, yes, a novel about the life and times of a Sicilian
accordion maker. The runaway success of Proulx's _The Shipping
News_ almost guarantees bestsellerdom for _Accordion Crimes_,
which means the airports and beaches and parks this summer will be
filled with people soaking up accordion history, accordion lore,
heartwarming accordion vignettes. Even more frightening is the
certainty that the large publishers, in their lack of originality
and desire to copy someone else's success, are certain to release
a torrent of copycat titles, which will assuredly carry the
accordion phenomena well into 1997. Who knows what twists the
nightmare might take, but one can speculate:
_It Takes Two to Tango_ by Robert Waller. A bored, frustrated
housewife wins 3 days/2 nights at DisneyWorld and has a torrid
affair with a bandoneon player at Epcot's Argentina pavillion. She
returns home pregnant, but fulfilled. Antonio Banderas and Melanie
Griffith in the film version. Promo teaser: "_Accordion Crimes_
meets _The Mambo Kings_."
_The Bandleader_ by John Grisham. An aging Polka King is falsely
accused of murder and is defended by his daughter, a corporate
attorney for a chain of kielbasa restaurants. Teaser:
"_Accordion Crimes_ meets _The Client_"
_Fargo, ND_ An Oliver Stone film set in the 50's about an
obsessed fan stalking Lawrence Welk. Harrison Ford as Welk, Madonna
as the fan. Subplot featuring Whitney Houston as the "lost Lennon
sister" Springsteen soundtrack. _Accordion Crimes_ meets _Fatal
Attraction_
_South Central - Wisconsin_ Photo Book based on the documentary
about 4 young cheeseheads trying to break out of poverty as a
group of accordion-backed gangsta rappers. Promo: _Accordion
Crimes_ meets _Hoop Dreams_
_The Celestine Concertina Prophecy_ A mystical novel about a
Tabasco worker who discovers a secret spiritual message when he
plays an old Clifton Chenier tape backwards. Tom Cruise bidding
for film rights.
I am sure the reality will be worse than this speculation. So,
congrats, Ted, you called it. Any calls yet from Michael Ovitz or
the folks at William Morris?
----
Michael Boggs "I don't have any regrets - you can
Carmichael's Bookstore talk about me plenty when I'm gone."
mbo...@carmikal.win.net --Bob Dylan
Jeffrey A. Del Col
Samsel's position as one of the World Controllers of the Bavarian
brotherhood has been an open secret for years. BTW, he's also
one of the Elders of Zion and a devotee of Hermes Trismegistus
Your book list omitted THE ACCORDION DIET: FROM WURST TO GUT.
J. Del Col
--
Jeff Del Col * "Sleeplessness is like metaphysics.
A-B College * Be there."
Philippi, WV *
* ----Charles Simic----
Joann Zimmerman
> I only deal with small press types, thank you very much. I can browbeat
> them more readily than I can the majors. What I'm looking forward to
> doing is a musical of Michael Lesey;s WISCONSIN DEATH TRIP with the
> libretto done by either Cormac McCarthy or Quentin Tarentino and massed
> button accordion & hardanger fiddle chorii.
> But if I get a patron, say Stanley Marsh 3 or Jack Kent Cooke, I'd be
> willing to change the state from Wisconsin to, say, Texas or Virginia.
> Comments, donations, queries?
Things might go even better if you take care to have an Austintatious
director, such as Linklater or Rodriguez. Particular choice to be
determined by your own personal theories on directorial violence. (And
besides, it might be more fun to see what Linklater would do when faced
with Tarentino.)
Of course, don't strange things happen to accordion music once it gets to Texas?
--
"I never understood people who do not have bookshelves."
--George Plimpton
Joann Zimmerman jz...@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu
Ted Samsel
:
: Things might go even better if you take care to have an Austintatious
: director, such as Linklater or Rodriguez. Particular choice to be
: determined by your own personal theories on directorial violence. (And
: besides, it might be more fun to see what Linklater would do when faced
: with Tarentino.)
I'll give you Austintacious! I'll call my old compadre Bob Burns, the
maven of Austin flickerie.... he did the "ort" direction on The Texas
Chainsaw Massacre and The Hills Have Eyes and directed Henry, Portrait
of A Serial (Cereal?) Killer. Or James "Bigboy" Medlin and Michael
Ventura who wrote Roadie (the story of Travis Redfish).
: Of course, don't strange things happen to accordion music once it gets to Texas?
Strange? Define your terms.
Ken MacIver
Your book list omitted THE ACCORDION DIET: FROM WURST TO GUT.
> J. Del Col
Not to mention to scintillating "Dueling Accordians" scene in
Deliverance!
Ken
Joann Zimmerman
> I'll give you Austintacious! I'll call my old compadre Bob Burns, the
> maven of Austin flickerie.... he did the "ort" direction on The Texas
> Chainsaw Massacre and The Hills Have Eyes and directed Henry, Portrait
> of A Serial (Cereal?) Killer. Or James "Bigboy" Medlin and Michael
> Ventura who wrote Roadie (the story of Travis Redfish).
OK, I'll take your Ventura, thereby moving us back into the realm of
literature. Loved his column in the _Austin Sun_ (he was the only critic
with a context). I just don't know if he could (or would) direct ...
I wrote:
> : Of course, don't strange things happen to accordion music once it gets
to Texas?
> Strange? Define your terms.
Back when I first moved to this town, early 70s,I kept getting confused by
the mutability of the accordion's role in the scheme of things. I kept
hearing these Mexican polkas, or that's the only way I could describe it.
And as to what went on at a dance hall or beer garden or whatever in
Houston that I never did know the name of, well, what *can* you say about
two-stepping around the floor to mariachi music with an accordion
attached? (I was rather squiffed at the time, but that's what I recall.)
Mark Taranto
Ted "The Accordian-man" Samsel writes:
I'd be willing to change the state from Wisconsin
to, say, Texas or Virginia.
Comments, donations, queries?
Not enough cheese there, pal.
Mark
Ted Samsel
:
:
:
Hey, the Blue Ridge is full of nunneries concocting chevre' and the
Mennonites in the Valley make a decent schmierkase.
But it's nearly shad-planking time as the anadromous fish slither up-
stream to spawn.... and since it's Lent, you can get muskrat to fricassee.
paul ilechko
#>Joann Zimmerman (jz...@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu) wrote:
#>:
#>: Things might go even better if you take care to have an Austintatious
#>: director, such as Linklater or Rodriguez. Particular choice to be
#>: determined by your own personal theories on directorial violence. (And
#>: besides, it might be more fun to see what Linklater would do when faced
#>: with Tarentino.)
#>I'll give you Austintacious! I'll call my old compadre Bob Burns, the
#>maven of Austin flickerie.... he did the "ort" direction on The Texas
#>Chainsaw Massacre and The Hills Have Eyes and directed Henry, Portrait
#>of A Serial (Cereal?) Killer. Or James "Bigboy" Medlin and Michael
#>Ventura who wrote Roadie (the story of Travis Redfish).
Excuse me, but I recently coined the term "Austentation" to refer to
the recent outpouring of Austen related stuff by the Jane-issaries,
and I'm afraid your term "austintacious" is much too close. My lawyers
will be contacting you.
Paul.
This is a sig. This is nothing but a sig. Please do
not confuse this sig with a message. pa...@superlink.net
Joann Zimmerman
ilechko) wrote:
> te...@infi.net (Ted Samsel) wrote:
>
> #>Joann Zimmerman (jz...@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu) wrote:
> #>:
> #>: Things might go even better if you take care to have an Austintatious
[...]
> #>I'll give you Austintacious!
[...]
> Excuse me, but I recently coined the term "Austentation" to refer to
> the recent outpouring of Austen related stuff by the Jane-issaries,
> and I'm afraid your term "austintacious" is much too close. My lawyers
> will be contacting you.
Your Honor, we beg that this suit be thrown the hell out of court, on
grounds of previous use, sufficient to put it in the public domain or some
such place.
In other words, Paul, you're way too damn late. "Austintatious," or as my
former non-compadre Samsel spells it, "Austintacious," has been in use for
at least twenty years to describe the state of exemplifying that which is
(or used to be, by now, nostalgia not being what it used to be, either,
damn it) Austin, Texas. I could cite all sorts of very back issues indeed
of the previously-mentioned, but alas, all-too-defunct weekly _Austin
Sun_, circa 1976.
You may continue to use the word "AustEntation" as a synonym for Janeism,
as I am quite sure that we are all sufficiently Close Readers to tell the
difference. (Vive la!)
Francis Muir
... Paul, you're way too damn late. "Austintatious," or as my
former non-compadre Samsel spells it, "Austintacious," has been in
use for at least twenty years to describe the state of exemplifying
that which is (or used to be, by now, nostalgia not being what it
used to be, either, damn it) Austin, Texas. I could cite all sorts
of very back issues indeed of the previously-mentioned, but alas,
all-too-defunct weekly _Austin Sun_, circa 1976.
You may continue to use the word "AustEntation" as a synonym for
Janeism, as I am quite sure that we are all sufficiently Close
Readers to tell the difference. (Vive la!)
I remind the rabid that I coined the word Austenitic precisely - well,
partly - to distinguish things Janeian from capital Texan notions. It is
also true that in another world that Austenitic steels - steels containing
the crystaline form Austenite - are hard enough under the somewhat adverse
conditions met in the combustion chambers of internal combustion engines
that they are used to make those valves of whose multiplicity of number the
manufacturers of automobiles have now become so inordinately proud. It was,
in fact, a Victorian Austen after whom Austenite is named, and I dare say he
was related to Our Jane, Paul always excepted.
Fido
paul ilechko
#>Your Honor, we beg that this suit be thrown the hell out of court, on
#>grounds of previous use, sufficient to put it in the public domain or some
#>such place.
#>In other words, Paul, you're way too damn late. "Austintatious," or as my
#>former non-compadre Samsel spells it, "Austintacious," has been in use for
#>at least twenty years to describe the state of exemplifying that which is
#>(or used to be, by now, nostalgia not being what it used to be, either,
#>damn it) Austin, Texas. I could cite all sorts of very back issues indeed
#>of the previously-mentioned, but alas, all-too-defunct weekly _Austin
#>Sun_, circa 1976.
Never having been to the state of Texas, I plead ignorance. In my
defence, I do possess the Flatlanders album, as well as a total of
five others by Butch and Jimmie Dale; I have read the first two parts
of the Border Trilogy; and i once saw Joe Ely live in concert. Does
this make me an honorary Texan ? (as opposed to an ornery Texan,
maybe)
#>You may continue to use the word "AustEntation" as a synonym for Janeism,
#>as I am quite sure that we are all sufficiently Close Readers to tell the
#>difference. (Vive la!)
I thank you most sincerely for your magnanimous gesture.
Ted Samsel
:
: Never having been to the state of Texas, I plead ignorance. In my
: defence, I do possess the Flatlanders album, as well as a total of
: five others by Butch and Jimmie Dale; I have read the first two parts
: of the Border Trilogy; and i once saw Joe Ely live in concert. Does
: this make me an honorary Texan ? (as opposed to an ornery Texan,
: maybe)
No. But I'm sure someone would sell you a certification of same if
you go the SXSW.
--
Ted Samsel....tejas@infi.net *1996* Year of the Accordion~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Home of the brave, land of the free,
I don't want to be mistreated by no bourgoisie."
Huddie Ledbetter
(In Bram Stoker's DRACULA, Dracula was killed with a Bowie knife.)