Re: How long are hobits?
Öjevind Lång
meddelandet
news:ee360fbe-1d8a-4d18...@c3g2000yqd.googlegroups.com...
[snip]
> The reason was that they lived in holes. Those had rather low
ceilings, so tall hobbits constantly banged their heads against the
ceiling beams. From there, it was pure natural selection. Most tall
hobbits died of concussions; those who didn't couldn't get a girl
because they made fools of themselves, banging their heads during
dates.
> The process was self-sustaining, because every time the average size
of the hobbits shrunk, they designed new smials to fit the average
population, i.e. with even lower roofs.
> If that process was linear - and I have no reason to assume it wasn't
- then at one time the roofs must have met the floor, so that the
holes had an effective height of zero. Not even the smallest hobbit
could live in it. That explains why you hardly see any hobbits anymore
today. They had to sleep in the open, where they froze to death or
were eaten by hungry ants.
You forget the so-called anti-hobbits, who evolved negative growth in the
eleventh dimension. They went from a height of + 5 centimtres to one of - 2
centimetres, and then the negative growth expanded exponentially, because
they delved their holes deep, into places where there were tremendous
amounts of non-space for them to grow in. By now, the Stoors are an average
of - 210 centimetres, whereas the Fallohides and the Harfoots average a
mere - 190 centimetres. However, they found it impractical to completely
eliminate the width of the tunnels leading down to the smials (or "smalls",
as they began to call them), so today's average surviving hobbit has a
breadth of only - 5 centimetres.
If you have never heard of the eleventh dimension, that is because much
knowledge that was known in the Elder Ages has now been lost.
�jevind
Noel Q. von Schneiffel
>
> You forget the so-called anti-hobbits, who evolved negative growth in the
> eleventh dimension. They went from a height of + 5 centimtres to one of - 2
> centimetres, and then the negative growth expanded exponentially, because
> they delved their holes deep, into places where there were tremendous
> amounts of non-space for them to grow in. By now, the Stoors are an average
> of - 210 centimetres, whereas the Fallohides and the Harfoots average a
> mere - 190 centimetres. However, they found it impractical to completely
> eliminate the width of the tunnels leading down to the smials (or "smalls",
> as they began to call them), so today's average surviving hobbit has a
> breadth of only - 5 centimetres.
> If you have never heard of the eleventh dimension, that is because much
> knowledge that was known in the Elder Ages has now been lost.
What profound truth! Thank you very much for this enlightening
research.
Noel
Öjevind Lång
[snip]
> What profound truth! Thank you very much for this enlightening
research.
Anti-hobbits can expand where there is space, but if they expand so much
that they penetrate non-space (in this case, the sides of a tunnel to one of
the nonexistant smials), there would be a transformation error and the
non-hobbit would explode, with terrible results.
Something similar is true of Celeborn. Actually, as everyone knows, he was
a complete nobody. He was literally nothing. His loyal wife Galadriel,
however, let this nullity expand in space. He kept swelling, until she
thought it wise to curtail further expansion, using the power of her Ring.
This was done not only for esthetic reasons (a Celeborn the size of a minor
mountain would not have been pleasing to the eye) or for practical reasons
(the tree where they presided would have broken under his non-weight), but
also because if he kept growing in that manner, sooner or later he would
have come into contact with some material object (a twig or a passing crow,
for example) with disastrous results which would have killed him and
destroyed most of L�rien.
Obviously, the throne he was sitting on and everything he handled were
also made of non-matter. When he seemed to be handing gifts to the
Fellowship, it was actually Galadriel who did so, while manipulating their
sight so that they didn't notice it.
�jevind
Taemon
> When he seemed to be handing gifts to the
> Fellowship, it was actually Galadriel who did so, while manipulating
> their sight so that they didn't notice it.
When a negative entity gives gifts, doesn't that actually mean they take it
away? I think Celeborn stole stuff from the Fellowship, thus giving them
things.
T.
Öjevind Lång
news:hbkoj0$2m7$1...@news.eternal-september.org...
Hm. Yes, that makes sense. He took away Boromir's sanity, Frodo's courage,
Pippin's common sense... oops, well, perhaps not that.
�jevind
Prai Jei
continuum:
> If you have never heard of the eleventh dimension, that is because much
> knowledge that was known in the Elder Ages has now been lost.
>
> Öjevind
String theorists passed eleven long ago. Last I heard they were up to 25 or
perhaps even 26 dimensions.
--
ξ:) Proud to be curly
Interchange the alphabetic letter groups to reply