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Ranma 1/2: After All This Time. . .!? [FanFic]

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William Baird

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Jul 24, 1995, 3:00:00 AM7/24/95
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(PART 2: Ranma 1/2. . . .After All this Time. . .!?
by Will Baird
wba...@nmsu.edu

(scene: The dojo several days later. First thing in the morning. We
see Nodoka and Kasumi race each other to the kitchen; they are
grinning at each other. They seem to be competing, friendly wise,
to see who can finish making breakfast first)

Nodoka: So. when are you going to do something about
Tofu? (looks innocent) hmmm?

Kasumi: Nodoka-san! (blushing) I am just waiting for him
to be ready.

(Akane stops just outside the door and eaves drops.)
Nodoka (grinning almost like a impish girl): Hmph. Men are never
ready for marriage. You have to beat them into it.

Kasumi (falsely shocked face; trying to suppress a grin): Well,
maybe if they're Mr. Saotome, but not Dr. Tofu! (grinning openly
now)

Nodoka: Come, come. He's just another man! (snickers;
trying not to) If you don t chase him more actively, if even subtly,
men NEVER see the subtle ways, but always fall for them, by the
way. . .

Kasumi (mock indignation): Hmph. I'm not that kind of girl.

(Akane grins and rolls her eyes. she walks away. It s fairly obvious
that Nodoka has wriggled into the girls' affections as a friend and
seems to be happy to give advice and act as someone no older than
they when she could.)

Akane (thinking): That advice sounds AWFULLY familiar.
(giggles; she walks outside and kicks Ranma's tent). WAKE UP!

Ranma (groggy, a little annoyed from inside the tent): HEY!
What did you do that for!

Akane (innocently): What? What did _I_ do?

Ranma (a little miffed): Why you, kawaikune tom-

(Akane is standing there looking WAY too cute to be called
uncute...she bats her eyes at Ranma who gulps).

Akane: Yes, Ranma-chan?

Ranma: Uhhhhh.... I m a guy!

Akane (bats eyes like a pro): Really?

Ranma: yeah....(looking a little confused).

Akane (turns away): Okay, sweetie.

Ranma (worrying; thinking): Is she alright?

(Abruptly she swings around roundhouses him into the pond).

Akane (sweetly): Could have fooled me! (she starts walking in
the house)

Ranma-chan (MAD): GRRRRRR!!!! (comes tearing out of the
pool and jump kicks at her)

(Akane parries and they fall into the rhythm of their morning
sparring matches. It seems that Genma has gotten lazy in the
morning for some reason and Nodoka asked Akane if she would be
willing to spar with Ranma in the mornings now).
Ranma-chan: You can t beat me, Akane! I m a guy!

Akane (grinning wolfishly): Better explain your chest then
Saotome-chan! (giggles)

Ranma (glaring): That s not funny! Take it back! (makes a
feint and attacks; Akane isn t fooled and counterattacks neither
lands a solid blow though).

Akane (laughing and fighting): Well, I ll stop teasing about
being a girl if you tell me your answer to my question I asked a
whole two weeks ago.

Ranma-chan (stops; gets whacked and falls over): uhhhhh....

Akane: RANMA! (darts over to him where he s sprawled) Are
you okay?

(She grins up at her and asks for a hand which she gives her)

(Ranma-chan grins and bends to her ear making motions for her to
lean in so he can tell her)

Ranma (whispering): Well, I have decided that I want to. . .
(pinches her HARD; Akane yelps) TAG!!!!! (RUNS; Akane runs
after him).

Akane (furious): RANMA NO BAKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Nabiki peeks out her window and up at the two as they dash off
roof hopping; Ranma-chan feeling Akane)

Nabiki (yawning and stretching): Like clock work. As good as
and cheaper than an alarm clock. Too bad I can't take them with
me to college. Save me some money and even make some if there
are guys like Konou there. (shakes her head; gets dressed and
heads down stairs)

(She makes it to the breakfast table and sits down. Soun and
Genma are there. Soun is reading his paper as usual. Genma is
wolfing down his breakfast. Nodoka, in between glances at her
husband, is eating lightly and chatting with Kasumi over Dr. Tofu.
They seem to be plotting somehting for him. Nabiki just shakes her
head. A doctor in the family would be nice. . . it would save her on
medical bills later in life. . .now if Kasumi would just go get him. . . )

Nabiki (sitting down): Morning.

Kasumi (bright eyed and bushy tailed as usual): Good
morning.

(cut to different scene: Happosai working on something. We see
the back of his wrinkled head and we pull back to see the rest of
him. We slowly take in the rest of the view. He's standing on a
boulder....chanting. The boulder is inscribed with similar markings
and, in Japanese, we can tell they prayers to seal something.)

(cut back to the Tendo dojo)

Nodoka (patting on her husband s arm): Well, at least you re
eating healthy. Wouldn t want you to get ill. Too much for you to
do, yes?

Genma (looking dubious, eyes narrowed): Such as, dear?

Nodoka (smiling perhaps a bit too sweetly): Well, after you get
back from Dr. Tofu's I need a lil help with some things....

Genma (even more suspicious): What sort of things ......

Nodoka (smiling even more sweetly): Oh! My, well, things a
husband is SUPPOSED to help a wife with.....

Genma (thinking of her attitude the past few days): AH! I see!
I d be happy to help. (wicked look starting to come to his eyes)

Nodoka (smiling sweetly...dangerously so): good dear. I need
some of the heavy things in the house moved around.

Genma (face faults): .....

(cut to Happosai. He's now dancing on the boulder calling out
maniacally to the winds and gods! Uttering such powerful prayers!)

Happosai (yelling):
PPPPPAAAAAAANNNNNNNTIIIIIIIESSSS!

(Well, okay. Sorta shouting powerful prayers....:P~)

(Tendo Dojo at breakfast)

Nabiki (to Ranma and Akane): Thank you for being quiet last
night. It was a nice change of pace...and I didn t have to pay for it.

Akane & Ranma: WHAT!

Nabiki (cool and collected): I heard you guys get up. I distinctly
heard Ranma get up from his room and go to yours, Akane.
(Ranma makes a strangling sound)

Ranma (shocked he was heard): I didn't go in!

Akane (shocked and staring at Ranma):.....

Ranma (defensive): I just wanted to check on her! (realizing
what he said)

Akane (happily surprised): Ranma?

Ranma (looking defensive): I...ummmm.....

Nabiki (looking smug): You DID leave with an awfully
happy face Ranma. . . and quite a while afterwards too I might add.
(starts eating some rice)

Ranma (VERY defensive): HEY! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!

Akane (starting to worry): Ranma!? What did you do?

Ranma (tripped into the attack): NOTHING! I LOOKED IN
ON YOU! IS IT A CRIME TO BE CONCERNED ABOUT A
FIANCEE? EVEN IF SHE IS A KAWAIKUNE TOMBOY??????

Akane (MAD): RANMA NO....

Nodoka (interjects by slamming her katana into the table,
embedding it): Now, now. No fighting at the table. (calmly eats
again)

(Happosai! We see him crying out and hopping up and down. he
canters all over the boulder. Then he stops. He pulls out a candle.
He lights it and places it on the top of the boulder. It is not in a
holder, but it is inscribed with symbols)

(Tendo Dojo at breakfast)

Nabiki (still looking smug even though her plan soured a lil bit; she
had been hoping Ranma would get wet for more pictures):
Akane... if I were you I wouldn t be upset.

(everyone. Still startled by the katana looks at her shocked)

Everyone: HUH?

Nabiki (smugly, in between bites): Oh yes! I did forget to
mention that Akane got up and went to Ranma s room after he had
been gone from her room.

Akane (looking worried; a lil panicked): NABIKI! SHHHH!

Kasumi (a lil offended): Akane. Ranma. You know that it's
not right before marriage to do that....

Nodoka (looking a little worried): Ranma? Have you soiled
Akane s honor?

Nabiki (still smug): Well, if he s soiled it. She s wallowing in it.

Akane (shocked): WHAT?

(Nodoka is fingering the end of her katana)

Ranma (to Nodoka, nervously): No mother, I have not. I got
up to check on her at night. I had a bad dream and wanted to
check on her. That s all. I don't know what happened about her
getting up after that. I was asleep.

Akane (nodding quickly): He's not touched me. He may be a
hentai (winks at him), but he's not one that'd touch me I
think....(Nyah! s at Ranma)

Ranma (agreeing at first): Yeah! I d not tooo....HEY! (nyah's
back at her) Besides, she's an kawaikune tomboy. Who'd do
anything like that with HER!

Akane (moving before Ranma or Nodoka can react): RANMA NO
BAKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Throughs him out into the pond; he (she) now
splashes in the water and bounces out. Nodoka flinches)

(The Nekohanten. Shampoo is zipping around the dining room of
the restaurant obviously in a hurry. She's going so quickly that
she s making a whirl wind around her. Cologne hops in.)
Cologne (seriously): Are you done yet, grand daughter?

Shampoo (the storm): Whee Whee Whee Whee! (spinning
Tasmanian devil sounds).

Cologne (grumbling): I hate it when she does this....people think
she s from Australia...(she whips out her staff while landing on a
table and trips Shampoo. Shampoo looks dazed and confused)

Shampoo: OH! Great Grandmother! Shampoo no see you.
(gestures at the dining room) See all done. Now great grand
mother show Shampoo surprise?

Cologne (smiling and thoughtful): Yes, my child, come with
me....we ll win son-in-law s heart this very day!

(cackling she leads Shampoo away; Mousse barges out into the
dining room. His glasses are up on his head.)

Mousse: Shampoo! I love you!

(He looks confused. she hasn t slapped him, pounded him, or
harmed him at all.)

Mousse (whiling pulling down his glasses): Shampoo? (is looking
at a wall)

(Happosai! He dances around more. Then he stops and knuckles
his fist against the boulder).

(Tendo Dojo...Nodoka and Kasumi are seen cleaning up after
breakfast. Kasumi calmly pulls the katana out of the table and just
as calmly gives it to Nodoka...without even looking at
Nodoka.....Kasumi is concentrating on something else. Nodoka
takes it without noticing either and slides it into place on her back).

Kasumi (continuing, but with a furrowed brow): Do you really
think that I should be more active in attracting Dr. Tofu's attention,
Nodoka?

Nodoka (calmly and without hesitation...certainly without missing a
beat in cleaning things up): Yes. I do. You are old enough to be
married. (smiles at her briefly when she glances up) I wasn't
married much older than you are.

Kasumi (nodding, but still concerned): I don't want to scare
him away though. He s such a sweet man ....I might make him
think I'm too forward or too crass or not cultured....

Nodoka (laughing while cleaning around her son s place...she gets
to her husband's and grimaces): No. He won't. He's ready
for you now...he'd be ready to marry you now if he could get over
his silliness....

Kasumi (smiling): That s part of why I like him...he can be so
sweet, yet so silly at times....

Nodoka (smiling too): Yes, he can be....but believe me...when you
aren't there he acts VERY differently.

Kasumi (thoughtfully): Really? I guess it must be
so....Akane once said something similar. I wonder why he acts so
funny then.....

Nodoka (smiling a bit too knowingly and trying to not let it be
seen): I have no idea, dear...I have no idea....

(Happosai! He pulls back his fist.)

(the Nekkohattan. We see Shampoo holding a package. It's
obviously food of a sort. Cologne is lecturing her.)

Cologne (lecturing tone; very stern): Now, granddaughter. You
must hurry. If Ranma doesn't eat this batch within the next hour it
will not work. Then we will have to try again. I will be most
displeased if this should not work, girl.

Shampoo (excitedly): Shampoo no fail. feed Ranma and make him
fall in love with her. Hi-Yah! (spins in place)

Cologne: So long as you understand me, girl. Good. Go get
you husband!

Shampoo (leaving): Bye, great grandmother! Thank you for
helping Shampoo!

Cologne (muttering after her): Now if I could just get her to
stop addressing herself so....

(Happosai! His arm is pulled back to the furthest it can be. He's
kneeling on the boulder now. He has something in his fist. His fist
is positioned exactly above the candle)

(Tendo Dojo; We see Ranma, Akane, and Nabiki rush about and
out the door for school. Kasumi is leaving at the same time heading
towards Dr. Tofu's).

Nodoka (thinking while she s waving): I Hope she has good
luck! (she turns and goes inside, feeling a little bit apprehensive)
Now let's hope I was right about Dr. Tofu....(aloud and quite)
GENMA!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET YOUR FUZZY BUTT IN
HERE! WE HAVE THINGS TO CLEAN AND MOVE!

(Happosai. He lowers his fist down to the candle flame. It's begun
to rain. Violently. The wind howls it's anguish at the fates anger.
A wick is sticking out of his fist and the object in it. It lights)

(cut to Akane, Ranma, and Nabiki walking to school. Nabiki and
Akane have been talking and Ranma has been distracted...thinking
about something else. Akane and Nabiki have stopped though.
Akane looks up at Ranma and leans close to Nabiki)

Akane (to Nabiki, quietly): Could I get you to run up ahead.
Please?

Nabiki (just as quietly): It'll cost you.

Akane (grimacing): Clean your room once?

Nabiki (thinks and replies): No. Help me get a date with
Ryouga.

Akane (almost face faulting): RYOUGA? (voice rising slightly)

Nabiki (hissing): SH! Keep it down!

Akane (smiling and almost giggling): Alright. I'll see what I can
do. . .I mean it won t kill anyone to do it...Ryouga?!

Nabiki (winking and linking the front of her top incisors): He's
got a bod....(she winks at Akane whose shocked and runs ahead)
(to Ranma) I'll see you two love birds laters...I gotta let you guys
talk after your escapades last night...ta-ta!

Akane (glaring after her):.....

Ranma (looking a little confused): Huh? Whatever, Nabiki (he
starts to get lost in thought again)

(cut to Shampoo on her bike. She's riding along the fence. She's
hoping that she'll run over Ranma and get him to eat while he's
recovering from the Ultimate Bicycle Technique)

(cut to Ukyou. She's running ahead of Ranma et al with a delivery
to the school. It seems that the principal, Kunou's father, wanted
some okinomiyaki for breakfast. she came armed because Ranma
said he has a habit of cutting off of all of your hair if he can. She's
NOT about to give up her hair.)

(cut to Shampoo. She's daydreaming of Ranma)

(cut to Ukyou. She's daydreaming of Ranma)

(cut to Shampoo...in Shampoo s dream.

Ranma: Oh, Shampoo! I've been so wrong. Let's get
married right now.

Shampoo: HI-YAH!)

(cut to Ukyou and her fantasy:

Ranma: Ucchan. I love you. Let's get married right now.)

(cut to Shampoo & her fantasy:

Shampoo: Ranma really mean to marry Shampoo instead of
violent Akane or Not-Nice Ukyou or crazy Kodachi?)

(cut to Ukyou and her mental antics:

Ukyou: Oh Ranchan! Where? When?)

(cut to Shampoo s fantasy:

Ranma: Yeah Shampoo, I mean, I love you, so I have to marry the
one I love right?)

(cut to Ukyou and her delusion of the moment:

Ranma: Now. Let s elope. We'll tell the others after the
fact.)

(cut to Shampoo

Shampoo: HI-YAH! OH RANMA!)

(cut to Ukyou

Ukyou: YES! OH RANCHAN!)

*BOOM*

(We see Ukyou and Shampoo run head on into each other.
Daydreaming)

(cut to Happosai. We see him raise his fist back again. cocking it
into position.)

(cut back to Ranma and Akane)

Akane (looking up at Ranma, hope enters her eyes): Ranma.....

Ranma (shaking his head again): Huh? I must be out of it?
What did you say, Akane? I'm sorry I missed it......

Akane (smiling): Nothing. Just wanted your attention. By
the way, think that you could hop down and talk to me down here
for a second?

Ranma (perplexed): Uh....sure. (he hops down and is beside her
without breaking stride)

Akane (serious look on her face): Reaching any conclusions
yet? (hopeful)

Ranma (scowling): No. Not yet. Not anything ready to be
said, one way or another.

Akane (looking a little upset): Alright. Then. Could you hurry a
little. I would like to know, ya know.

Ranma (tired sounding): I'm trying. I want to make sure,
okay?

Akane (thoughtful): Okay.

(they walk on in a little bit of silence for a bit)

Akane (apprehensive sounding): Ranma.....

Ranma (glancing at her): Yes?

Akane (calmly): Just this...(she leans over and pecks him and
pinches him) TAG! (runs)

Ranma (shocked): HEY! Akane! COME BACK HERE!

(Happosai! His fist races downwards smashing the candle flat
and making contact with the boulder as the bomb goes off. The
Boulder shatters and Happosai flies up and away from the
explosion)

(Ukyou and Shampoo...they re laying on the ground looking
confused. They recognize each other and look very worried.
Shampoo doesn t want her surprise for Ranma ruined. Her great
grandmother would not be happy. Ukyou doesn t want a paying
customer to have their meal destroyed either. Despite intense
dislike for the chinese-bimbo, Ukyou decides not to fight and grabs
her box and runs).

Ukyou (Calling over her shoulder): Sorry about that! gotta run,
Shampoo!

Shampoo (muttering to herself): Stupid klutz. Why she walk
in bike pathway.

(cut to Akane and Ranma. They're chasing one another and acting,
for a change, like a happily engaged couple. Silly, young, reckless,
in love. They promptly realize this and stop.)

(Happosai! He's lying on his back and in rubble. In pain and not
feeling well. He struggles up. The boulder is gone. Something
moves out of the place where the boulder was and towards him.
Voice (deep, menacing): Who dares free me?)

(Shampoo. She collects her stuff and mounts her bicycle. She's
about to start pedaling when Akane and Ranma come around the
corner. She's oblivious to it, but Ranma tries to sneak back around
the corner. Akane, confused at first, catches on when she sees
Shampoo). It's too late however and Shampoo runs up to Ranma...
and gloms onto him)

Shampoo: HI_YAH! RANMA! You here to take Shampoo
on date?

Ranma: Uh, shampoo? I have to go to class right now....I
attend school here still, remember?

(Akane is fuming at Ranma and Shampoo)

Shampoo (batting her eyes profusely): Oh. Well. Okay.
Ranma still hungry?

Ranma (caught off guard): Well, I am a little bit hungry....

Akane (fuming): YOU BIG OAF! YOU JUST ATE!

Ranma (starting the cycle): HEY! I didn't want to make a pig of
myself....

Akane (reddening QUITE noticeably): NOT WANTING TO
EAT LIKE A PIG??????? When has *THAT* stopped you?

Ranma (angry): why you, kaw-

Shampoo: STOP!

(They blink and look at her)

Shampoo (flustered at having been marginalized so quickly):
Ranma. Just eat what Shampoo bring you for food then
you go to school if you want. Shampoo need get back to restaurant
soon. Ranma and Akane fight later, yes?

Ranma (looking one last time at Akane): Sure. (takes the box
from Shampoo; he proceeds to wolf it down)

Shampoo (laughing): Go away, Akane. Ranma no want you any
more. He no want violent woman.

Akane (not quite as surprised as she was the first time she was told
something like that, but still a lil bit surprised): Huh? What
do you mean?

Shampoo (laughing with mirth): HAH! Ranma eat love potion
that make him only love Shampoo. No other fiancee.
AHAHAHAHA! Special ramen make him Shampoo love slave! AHAHAHAHAH!

Ranma (looking a little bit confused...he looks down. He's eating
okinomiyaki, not ramen. He shrugs. What she doesn't know,
won t kill her).

Akane (on the other hand did fall for it and whips out her mallet):
SHAMPOO!!!! DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shampoo (whips out her bonbari): Shampoo see Akane's
schwartz is....oh. nevermind. another role Shampoo had. (to
Ranma) Ranma love Shampoo, not Akane, right?

(Happosai!
Voice with body: Who dares interrupt my slumber for an
excursion into the world of man....

Happosai It is I! Happosai! Of the anything Goes School of
Martial Arts. I COMMAND YOU TO DESTROY RANMA SAOTOME!!!!!!!

Voice: Yes master! I will.)

(cut to Ranma, Akane, Shampoo)

Ranma (realizing that Shampoo is gonna cream Akane unless
desperate measures are taken decides to tell her anyways about the
okinomiyaki.....) I didn't realize that okinomiyaki counted as
Ramen, Shampoo...

(Shampoo looks shocked and grabs the box and bounces up onto
the fence. Akane takes advantage of the situation and swings her
mallet at Shampoo and misses, hitting the fence...while Shampoo is
looking dismayed into the box. She is so shocked that she falls off
and rolls down into the stream below. transforming into a
cat....normally, that would have been enough for Akane for her
revenge....but it wasn t. Not even close.)

Akane (voice starts low as a loud growl and works upwards in
volume): I. HAVE. HAD. ENOUGH. OF.
THIS......(SCREAMING) DIE SHAMPOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Akane vaults the fence and darts down the steeply sloped ditch
towards the sneezing Shampoo-cat).

(Shampoo-cat looks up and her eyes bugle. She turns to run and
barely makes it out from under Akane s mallet swing. They take
off in a dead run, Shampoo-cat fleeing a VERY pissed off Akane.)

Ranma (just recovering from the shock of Shampoo getting
trounced by Akane like that shouts first): AKANE! WAIT!
STOP! (normal voice level) great! Water! (pauses) (sighs) No
helping I guess. (He jumps down after them, but finds a dryish path
that he can follow in pursuit)

(We see Akane chasing Shampoo all over Nerima and into Tokyo
proper and back. Shampoo-cat always just a little bit ahead of
Akane. Ranma always in pursuit too. Just a little bit behind.
Akane corners Shampoo-cat with no way out. She is about to
swing and clobber the cat finally when Ranma's hand snags the
mallet. Shampoo-cat makes the mistake of leaping onto her
protector and fuzzing him in gratitude...We see Ranma freak out
and drop the mallet. He throws the cat away from himself and runs.
Akane gets the mallet and nearly clobbers Shampoo-cat again.
Ranma recovers his wits and goes running after them again. The
chase goes into Tokyo proper. In the more congested areas....)

Ranma (growling to himself as he runs): Shampoo no baka!
That stupid kawaikune tomboy! What if I d gotten wet out here
with all these people? What would they do? Can t those girls do
anything but fight?

Akane (thinking and panting to herself): Got....to.....catch....her.

Shampoo-cat (thinking): Meow! Shampoo no like violent
tomboy. Exercise is one thing. Chasing with death in mind
another. Shampoo give her Kiss of Death....when she in girl-form.

(Shampoo-cat has run out of ditch and hops up out of it and to the
road. Akane is behind her in hot pursuit. Ranma is slightly behind
in following.)

Shampoo-cat (thinking): Shampoo got to lose violent tomboy
if Shampoo want change back to human sometime soon. what best
way?

Akane (closing on Shampoo-cat): Almost there! I'm going to
get her! I m going to get her! I'll make her PAY too for glomming
onto Ranma! It won t happen again after this lesson!

Ranma (snarling): Stupid women! Why are they like this?

(We see something that doesn t fit into the surrounding area. It s
transparent and to most of the residents and people in the street. It
floats and flies along scanning. It sees our heroes and flies up to
watch).

Voice (full of malevolence): Ranma......

(We see the crowd still running and shift to their views)

Shampoo-cat (thinking): HI-YAH! Shampoo have idea!

Akane (thinking still): Where IS she running? (gives chase)

Ranma (growling and snarling): ...

(Our invisible watcher flits from vantage point to vantage point
watching our heroes in their quest for love, and humiliating
satisfaction. Suddenly Shampoo-cat reverses direction and dives
into the traffic)

Shampoo-cat (thinking): HA! Akane no follow Shampoo
here!

Akane (growling): You can't lose me that easily! (she jumps
from moving car top to car top with Ranma on her heels)

Ranma (shouting): STOP! ARE YOU GUYS STUPID OR
WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!

(Our invisible friend chants slightly and we see Shampoo-cat fall on
the ground. Unmoving).

Akane (startled): SHAMPOO????

(Akane jumps down into the median and scoops up Shampoo.
Ranma jumps down with her)

Ranma (concerned): Is she okay?

Akane (also concerned): I don t know.

(Akane leans over and starts looking over the cat. Ranma can't get
too close to Shampoo...for some reason he seems to have some
apprehension over cats.....)

Ranma (sounding concerned about their health too): Akane. I think
we better. . .

(We hear a blaring of horns and a car careening wildly all over the
road.)

Ranma (urgently) Let s go.....

(The invisible friend smiles grimly.)

Voice (unheard by any than itself): I think not, Ranma Saotome.
(gestures wickedly clawed hands) Meet your fait! (final emphatic
gesture)

Ranma (confused): My legs....

(the car is swerving towards them)

Akane (frightened): Mine too! RANMA!

(the car swings away for a moment)

Ranma (still worried): Akane. Grab my arm!

Akane (confused but frightened): Why...

(the car wildly turns towards them)

Ranma (very angry): JUST DO IT! (reaches towards her)

Akane (reaching towards him; grasps his hand): Now what?

Ranma (annoying, but keeping it under control): When I tell
you, jump towards the side of the road...understand?

(car is speeding up)

Akane (nodding): Yes, but....

Ranma (angry sounding): JUST DO IT!

Akane (shocked): ....

Ranma (grabbing her hand with both of his): On the count of
three...hang to Shampoo...

(car is closing quickly)

Together: One.

(We see inside the car and the driver is hurt...badly. Looks like he s
been harmed or shot...)

Together: Two.

(We see the car closing to where they are very quickly. It s
seconds from impact)

Together: THREE! (Akane jumps as hard as she can and
Ranma throws her with all of his might. Her shoes are shredded as
she rips from the pavement. She flies through the air and reaches
the far side easily. The car is nearly upon Ranma. He twists and
sends a chi-blast into the front of it. The car is knocked away and
to right.)

(The voice is cursing in a language unknown)

(time slows down a la anime physics)

Ranma (smiling and waving to Akane): (shouts) I m Alright.

(he bends down to untie his shoes. He steps out of them.
Oblivious to the traffic trying to dodge the car he just blew into.....)

Akane (head whips around from Ranma and looks. The car is in
the traffic....in the oncoming traffic...): RAAAAAAAAANMMMMMAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Ranma (turns to see what Akane is shouting about): ....

(He tries to lunge out of the way of the semi that just barely dodged
the car that had been in its way.....)

Akane (SCREAMING): RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAANNNNNMMMMAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Voice (laughing): Fate. Met. Saotome.


Will Baird InterNet: wba...@nmsu.edu chpw...@arriba.nm.org
Astronomy/Physics Undergrad President
New Mexico State University TimeSlice Computing and Networking Corp.
'Money talks. Usually it says, "Bend over"'- Solomon Short, AMFM; D Gerrold


William Baird

unread,
Jul 24, 1995, 3:00:00 AM7/24/95
to

This is my first fan fiction. Please bear-with. There's a quick section
lifted driectly from Christian Gadekan's fanfic of "Day Dreams" in the
beginning. I freely acknowledge this and wanted to comment saying it
Comments welcome and more than encouraged! I'm afraid I lack
experience with writing (if you are in rec.arts.sf.written.robert-jordan,
my only other bit of fanfiction, the Last Scene Contest for the Wheel of
Time series, is present. Ask for it from Good Ole Auntie (if nutty as a
fruit cake) Erica. She'll produce it and the others she's saved.

Enjoy!
Will Baird
wba...@nmsu.edu

PS The series prolly won't go where you think it will....hehe. Wait and
see. (^-^)

PPS: Please excuse any misspellings, etc. Word was acting screwy
when I wrote this....then again, when doesn't it?


********Ranma 1/2: After all This Time.....?!************************

(Part 1)

Akane: HENTAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(seen pulls back from Akanes fist and rotates to see through a
shattered window Ranma flying away from the house upside down and
obviously in pain. P-chan is sitting on the desk quite satisfied at seeing
Ranma flying through the night.)

Akane: (looking furious and thinking) I wish he'd grow up and die! He
is such a pervert!(looking more furious)(remembering)
[(We see the situation from her point of view. Things are dark.
Her dream is a very pleasant one:

Ranma was just finishing off an enormous meal which he had, in
typical fashion, bolted down like a starving wolf. As he finished
bolting the last bowl of rice, he sat back with a satisfied sigh.
"Delicious," he pronounced, turning to look at her. "Akane,
you win."

She hears a noise and awakens. Ranma's hand is descending towards
her chest. . .obviously, especially to a sleepy Akane, that he's about to
do something perverted. . . . .and equally obviously having nothing to
do with P-chan being there.)

Ranma (aware she's awake): Uhhhh....Akane.....it's uhhh....not what
you think.....(hand twitches he looks down at her frozen in place).

Akane (growling): RANMA!!!!!! (she swings at him)

Ranma (narrowly dodging bounces away from her towards her door
and out of reach): Akane! Wait! I'm trying to show you
something!

(P-chan attacks him and he stumbles closer to Akane trying to dodge.
Akane has, in the mean time, stood up and is now facing Ranma.)

Akane (fuming): I'm sure you were going to show me something!
YOU PERVERT!

Ranma (trying to reach for the kettle of water on her desk): Just wait
one second!!!!! (he races his hand to grab the kettle, but P-chan jumps
up and bites it) Aaaaaaaaiiiieeeeeeeee!! (He throws P-chan away from
his hand and in the process knocks the kettle over.....P-chan flies in to
the window though not hard enough to break it) AH, Nuuu----!

Akane: HENTAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Akane punches Ranma and sends him
into a ballistic orbit).]

Akane (sighing): One day things will work out. One way or
another. (she looks out at the smashed window towards where Ranma
went flying) I just hope it works out for the better for us, Ranma.
(looks sad and doesn't notice P-chan drooping more than soggy
ramen).

(lights click out as we finally hear a thud of Ranma landing)

Ranma: Kawaikune girl! Gah. (he shakes his fist at the
window) Ryouga....P-chan! I'll get you yet! (he staggers into the
household).

(The sun rises on the Tendo household. Ranma and Genma are
sparring out above the pond in back. Kasumi wanders by the back
door and pauses smiling at the Saotomes. She hurries on)

Genma: You're weak, Ranma! How can you expect to be
worthy of marrying Akane and taking over this dojo unless your a true
martial artist?!

Ranma: Oh yeah? Who says I'm so weak, Pops? I've kept you
from splashing me today! Besides, who wants to marry that kawaikune
girl anyways? her cooking is enough to kill - - - ERK!

( *SPLASH* Ranma falls forward and into the Pond. Akane stands
with her mallet in place where Ranma was. Ranma pulls himself up and
stands in the pond.)

Akane: Now whose the kawaikune, hentai-chan?

Ranma-chan: grrrrrr.....

(Genma starts laughing. Akane spins on her heel, her mallet
mysteriously gone, as usual, and scoops up P-chan while stalking
inside. Ranma stares after her glaring for a moment. He snaps out of it
when he realizes that Genma is laughing hysterically at him.)

Ranma-chan: What are you laughing at, old man?

Genma: Now. . .. (laugh) whose. . . . .(wheeze). . . .the . . .
(chortle) sloppy one? (laughs hysterically at Ranma. . . until he gets
splashed)

Ranma-chan (looks insufferably cute and satisfied): As you were
saying?

Genma-panda: growl...rowl.....(whips out sign) 'At least I didn't get hit
by a woman!'

Ranma-chan: (pulls apart her shirt) and what, pray tell, are
THESE????? (gets angry) stupid old man. I may be a guy, but I
happen to be part woman no thanks to you. (stomps up to the house
and into the bathroom)

(We see the Tendo's and Saotome's eating breakfast. Akane refuses
to speak to Ranma. P-chan glares at him over her shoulder. Ranma
doesn't really notice because he's glaring at his father. Genma-panda is
munching on some bamboo and glaring back. Mr. Tendo eats and
drinks while reading the paper and being oblivious to it all. The
morning is shaping up to be another typical one for the Tendo Dojo.)

Nabiki: Ranma......Akane......I've asked you guys time and again to
please be quiet while we sleep.....what you do at night is your own
business, but the rest of us would like a good night's sleep....if only just
occasionally. (looks a little bit desperate) (looks at the two of them
ignoring her)

Kasumi (interjecting): It's not right. Mother wouldn't approve, Akane.
Your mother wouldn't either, Ranma. Please. Don't do this. . . . .

(it's obvious that Akane and Ranma have learned to tune them out and
that this is nothing new for wither of them since they just ignore both
Nabiki and Kasumi)

Genma-panda (flashing a sign): 'Good going son!'

Soun: A little initiative, son, that's all it takes....

Kasumi: FATHER! It's not right.

Nabiki (looking haggard): SHUTUP!

(Everyone blinks at Nabiki. . . . .even Akane and Ranma)

Nabiki: Ranma. Akane. Name your price. If you guys can be quiet for
a week I'll PAY you. I can't take these morning wars or the lack of
sleep any longer.

Ranma: Hmmmm....how much are we talking here, Nabiki?

Akane (looking surprised, glares at Ranma): RANMA! (turns to
Nabiki) No, Nabiki...it's okay. If you'll keep this Hentai away from me
at night, everything will be quiet, I promise.

Ranma: HEY! Whose calling who a hentai?!?!?!?!? Besides,
who'd wanna visit such a kawaikune tom-boy like you in the middle of
the night. . .well, other than your darling little hentai, P-chan. (looking
at P-chan) Eh, P-chan?

(P-chan struggles in Akane's grasp and kwee's almost violently)

Akane (getting angry): R_A_N_M_A! (she take out her mallet from
nowhere and starts to raise it one handed). WHOSE CALLING WHO
UN-CUTE?????? (fury paints her face)

(P-chan looks at Akane and looks at Ranma and struggles loose for
fear of his life)

Ranma (smiles sweetly at her): (jabs her in the nose) You really ARE
cute when you get mad, you know that?

(Everybody facefaults. Akane drops the mallet and looks shocked).

(Ranma grins at Akane and stands up.)

Ranma: I better go get my books for school. (winks at Akane and
pokes her in the nose) Gotcha. (tries to run out the room)

Akane (VERY ANGRY) (grabs the table; Kasumi amazingly clears it
before Akane can tip it too far) RANMA!!!!!!!!! DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(slams the table down on top of Ranma just before he gets out of reach
while everybody dodges out of the way)

Ranma (twitching underneath the table): Erk!
How......Ack.....kawaikune ......uhhhh....of you.....gah.

(Akane hops on the table and stomps down HARD once. She
scrabbles off and goes to her room. . .apparently crying)

Soun (from behind his paper): You really ought to get along with your
fianci better, son. It'll smooth things out for your future.

(scene fades out with Ranma twitching and everybody complaining at
him.....including Kasumi)

Akane: (shouting) RANMA!!!!!!! HURRY!!!!!!! We're going to
be late for school!

Ranma: I'm coming, I'm coming. (he darts down the hall and
out the front gate).

(They stick their tongues out at each other as they run out the door and
nearly into each other)

Akane: Hentai!

Ranma: Kawaikune!

(scene: Ranma is walking on the top of the fence and Akane
below. They're talking surprisingly civilly to each other for the things
that happened earlier)

Akane: Ranma. . . .

Ranma: Yeah, Akane?

Akane: Why do we fight all the time?

Ranma: What do you expect? We can't stand each other? You
think I'm a pervert and you're such a tomboy. We both happen to see
each other as enemies more than friends...we hardly see each other as
an engaged couple would. . . and cuz we're martial artists. we tend
to get physical with it. . ..

Akane: (quietly) Do you really think I'm uncute?

Ranma: What do you expect when you are such a tomboy.....

Akane: We can call off this engagement if you really feel that way
Ranma. . .our parents don't have the power to make us go through
with it. We can just wait until we're legally adults and call the whole
thing off.....

Ranma: Uhhh....I never said....ummmm.....I. . .Akane, I think we
ought to. . .ummmm uhhh....(can't get it out as usual)

Akane: Ranma? (looking up at him surprised and hopeful)

(they stop and stare at each other for a moment. Ranma looking
uncomfortable and unsure of himself. Akane is looking up with
apprehension and hope. Then he closes his eyes and calms himself. He
reopens them. Ranma smiles and opens his mouth. He's about to say
something when. . . .CRASH)

Shampoo: NIHAO, Ranma! Why Ranma on Shampoo's bike path
again? (looks thoughtful for a moment) AH! Ranma here to take
Shampoo on date!

Akane (getting mad): No. He's not Shampoo.

Shampoo: (give she attitude of doing a Nyneave *sniff* without
actually doing it) Go away, violent girl. Ranma no want date Akane.
Ranma going to marry Shampoo, not uncute girl like you.

(Shampoo still hasn't moved from on top of Ranma. . .who is in quite
some pain)

Akane (getting really mad): GET OFF HIM SHAMPOO!

Ranma: asdkjfjakdji9wjdf

Shampoo: Shampoo no do what she told by violent wench called
Akane. Not even Ranma listen to such a tomboy.

Akane (explodes): DIE, SHAMPOO!!!! (swings her magically
appearing mallet at her)

Shampoo (quite shocked, was expecting her to attack Ranma not her
attempts to get off her bike but slips when Ranma twitches the wrong
way). AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Her balance
saves her from falling, for the moment. . .but Akane's mallet hits the
bike's wheel and it tumbles, with Shampoo, to the ground. Shampoo
rolls down the hill in shock (she was just beaten by Akane!) and rolls
into the water at the bottom of the drainage ditch).

(Ranma, implanted on the fence doesn't quite take the fall....he's
swaying badly though and looks to fall at any moment).

Akane (worried): Ranma? Are you okay?

Ranma: uhhhh....

Akane (reaches for Ranma, but due to the fact she's a bit on the clumsy
side, she knocks him off and he falls down into the water too):
RANMA!

(Ranma comes to just before hitting the water and looks relieved).

Ranma: Whew! Close call there!

(Shampoo-cat crawls out of the water and shakes her incredibly soaked
feet off all over Ranma).

Ranma-chan (running away screaming):
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Shampoo-cat gives chase)

Akane (sighing, speaking to herself): Oh, Ranma. . .I wish you'd grow
up or die. . . either way it'd sort out things. (twinkle in her eye,
collects Ranma's bag) I'd prefer the first though. . . we are engaged. . .
(looks thoughtful) You re a pervert, but your my pervert. Now if I
could convince you of that. . . .

(she sighs and walks towards Furikan High School clutching Ranma's
bags close and hoping).

(The scene fades out)

(The day progresses slowly. We see the scene fade into Akane
demonstrating for the class, though not to her knowledge, how to cook
in Home Ec; we see Ukyou giving a small speech for her class; we see
Ranma dozing; we see Nabiki extorting still more cash from Kunou for
pictures of he pig-tailed goddess and Akane. Finally, lunch rolls
around).

(Ranma and crew pile out of their class rooms for their lockers, looking
for food. Ranma dashes over to his and opens his backpack in hopes of
some of Kasumi's del. . .but finds nothing)

Akane (just happening to pass by): Looking for something? Oh, too
bad that Kasumi forgot your lunch. . . .(waves a second bag of food at
him and takes off running).

Ranma: Why you!!!!!!!!! (takes off after her)

(She darts around a corner giggling and laughing at him. Ranma calls
after her shouting screaming about his lunch. He rounds the corner at
top speed and runs smack into Kunou. Ranma is unbalanced and
stumbling backwards.)

Kunou (startled and looking for a fight): The vengeance of heaven
is slow but sure. . .you cur. (lashing out with his bokken, Kunou
attacks Ranma) RELEASE THE PIG TAILED GODDESS!!!!!!!!

(Ranma deflects the blows, but is still unsteady. Kunou slips one good
one through and hooks Ranma's leg while he's still unbalanced. Ranma
gets tripped good and stumbles over. Unfortunately, the window's
open and he stumbles up to it and right out it.)

(Akane runs up to the window.)

Akane: RANMA!!!!!!!!!! (she darts away from the window and runs
down the stairs like a first rate Olympic athlete. She makes it down to
the bottom floor (three flights of stairs can be a bit hard to do especially
when the school is full) and comes to where Ranma landed. . .worried
that something might have happened to him. she stands around looking
for him, but can't find him)).

(A voice): Psst!

Akane (looking a lil confused): Huh?

(The voice again): Up here!

(Akane looks up and sees Ranma-chan in the trees. . . . .near the pool.
Akane realizes that she must have misjudged where Ranma fell out and
that he must have fallen in the pool. . .again. . . . .)

Ranma-chan: Akane. . .could you get me some hot water, please?

Akane (a little angry): Why should I you big jerk?

Ranma-chan: Please?

Akane: all right. One condition.

Ranma-chan (looking defensive): Yeah, what is it?

Akane: We have lunch together. That's what I had planned anyways. .
.that's why I swiped your lunch, so. . . I want lunch with you today.
All right? No lunch. No hot water.

Ranma-chan (muttering to herself): All right. That's not so bad. I
can live with that. (calling down to Akane). Okay, Akane. I'll eat
with ya just get me the hot water.

Akane: No body else with us, Ranma! Got that? It's alone between us,
and us only.....she darts back to the nurse's office for some hot water.

Ranma-chan (climbs away from the visible sections of the tree branches
and sits down): Well, it could have been worse.....it could have
been Shampoo or Nabiki I had to have lunch with. . . .(she wrings out
her clothing from the top branch) (thinking to herself) She could have
just asked though. . .I would have been happy to have lunch with her. .
.WHAT AM I THINKING?????? With *THAT* Kawaikune tomboy?
She is really cute though.. ...hmmmm.....(sighs) Life doesn't get easier
over a single lunch.

(Akane reappears with a kettle of water and pours it over Ranma-chan.
he changes back)

Ranma-kun: Lunch it is then.

(Akane smiles up at him).

(Akane and Ranma wander over to a private spot on the school
grounds, in the midst of the trees. They chow down and don't talk
much. Akane looks over at Ranma occasionally, a little worried
because of his silence. Ranma just stares off intot eh distance. Akane
shakes her head and smiles. She continues eating.)

Ranma (thinking) she's not that bad to be with...then again, we aren't
talking too much. . .(he steals a glance at her while she's not looking)
She's actually kinda cute.....

Akane (thinking): I wonder what he's thinking. . .He must hate
being with me because he's not talking. . .I better find out somehow. . .
(aloud) Uh Ranma. . ..

Ranma: Yes, Akane?

Akane: You never did answer my question earlier. . .do you want to
break off the engagement? When we're old enough?

Ranma: Uhhhhhh.....

(Just then a pair of tall caucasian teens come tearing through the
forested area. One a tall thin guy with Mousse like galsses, the other a
woman his same height .. .they nearly run over Ranma and Akane. . .
who just barely dive out of the way)

(They disappear into the bushes).

(In english just out of sight) <TAG! I got ya!>

(girl's voice) <No way, Tudor! Nyah! *pbbbbttttt* >

Tudor (male's voice): <HEY! HA! Gotcha that time, Jana!
*pppppbbbbtttt*

Jana (girl's voice): <HA! You can't out run me! I'm on the
basketball team!>

(Akane and Ranma look at each other perplexed and have settled back
to where they were. . .looking out into the bushes with rather odd
expressions.)

Tudor: <Nyah! Can't catch me! I'm the gingerbread man! *pbbbbttt*
besides, the swim team isn't made of people who can't run! Nyah!>

(We see them come thundering through out of nowhere and through
Ranma and Akane's picnic site again.)

Ranma (shotuing after the two): BAKA's!!!!!!! (looking over at Akane)
How rude of them! You'd think they'd be more polite if they're
visiting.

Akane (shrugging): They're in love. . .what do you expect? (Ranma
looks uncomfortable). (Akane starts cleaning up) Thanks for having
lunch with me, Ranma. (bats her eyes at him) maybe we can do it
again. . .I enjoyed it, even if we were interrupted.

Ranma: sure. (smiling) Whenever ya like.

(Akane looks at him surprised, tehn grins devilishly and runs up to
him).

Akane (looking up to him and grinning as cutely as she can):
How about this? (she puckers up and Ranma nearly freaks as
she moves her face towards his)

Ranma (shocked and freaking out): AKANE???? Uhh......(He blinks
HARD thinking this must be a dream and gets a peck on the cheek...He
opens his eyes and looks down at Akane, shocked).

Akane (smiling sweetly): By the way, TAG! (she pinches him hard and
runs).

Ranma (jumping from the pinch and running after her with a sore butt)
Come back here! Kawaikune! Nyah!

(Akane runs back to the classrooms smiling).

Ranma (thinking as he runs after her): That wasn't so bad, was
it? nah. It wasn't.. . . (He lests her get to class just before he gets
there). Hmph. Beat me.

Akane (laughing): Dork. Must be getting slow, eh? (bats eyes at him
and he gets flustered as she zips to her desk)

Ukyou (walkign up behind him): HEY! What's up between you
guys? You're not taking a favorite. . .at elast no her are you, Ranchan?

Ranma (startled): Oh! Ucchan! (turns to face her) No! Of
coruse not! (glances back at Akane who is talking to her friends). Why
would I want to have a kawaikune tomboy as my favorite, Ucchan?

Ukyou ( a little suspicious): Uh huh, whatever you say, Saotome.
s9he turns back to her desk and takes it).

Ranma (muttering to himself): Women. . . .

(We see the rest of the day pass as Ranma dozes more; gets harassed
by teachers throwing chalk; Akane looks dreaming pleasant daydreams;
Ukyou look worried; Nabiki extorts more money from various
individuals as the day passes; and finally, but not least, Kunou. . .who is
outside wondering where Saotome disappeared to. . .after all, he didn't
finish the fight!)

(Ranma, Nabiki, and Akane are all walking home, a little on the quiet
side.....everyone ahs something on their minds. . .)

Nabiki (how much money can I get for those photos? hmmmm...)

Akane: (thinking) That was fun today. . . .

Ranma: (thinking) Ugh. I hope I don't get attacked by shampoo or
anyone going home....it'd be nice for a change if that didn't happen.

(Akane grins again at the thought of the American couple running
around the forested area and she walks over to and beside Ranma. He
looks down and shakes his head. Nabiki, taking the hint from Akane,
runs ahead).

Akane (looking around): Ranma....?

Ranma (still a bit lost in thought): Yeha, Akane?

Akane: About what I said earlier. . . .

Ranma: Waht about it?

Akane: Do you have an answer?

Ranma: Akane, I need a little bit of time yet, okay?

Akane (looking hopeful): Okay. I understand. We don't want to
make the same mistake our parents did by rushing this. (she slips an
arm around his while he's still thinking)

Ranma (lookign a little not there): Yeah. (he instinctly keeps his in
place)

(They walk arm in arm for quite a while while walking back...even
though Ranma doesn't notice. The fact he doesn't notice seems to
please Akane even more....it means he accepts it without
thinking....already.....)

Akane: (remembering the American couple again) By the way, Ranma,
(the evil look returns). . .guess what?

Ranma (still lost in thought a bit): yeah? what?

Akane: (pinches him hard) TAG, YOU'RE IT! (She uns as fast as
she can towards the now insight dojo)

Ranma (so startled he pauses and doesn't give chace for a moment. .
.because he realizes that they walked as far as they did with arm in
arm.....) HEY! (He runs after her)

( We see the evening pass quickly. Ranma and Akane having a sparring
match. Dinner being served. Akane and Ranma et al all doing
homework. Fianlly, we see Ranma sneaking away into the night. . .
Akane caught a glimpse of him doing so and follows, though, at a
distance).

(He bounces from one roof-top to another doing a general tour of
town. Finally, he make sthe circuit complete and ends up at the
Tendo's again. Akane can't figure out why he did it, but as long as
nothing bad came of it she's not oevrly worried....well, maybe. Finally,
he stops and lays down on the roof of the dojo and watches the stars.
He seems to be smiling and watching peacefully. Akanes decides to
climb downa dn tehn climb back up. After all, she doesn't want him to
think she's been spying on him!)

Ranma (smiling; thinking): I hope Akane enjoying bouncing around
tonight. hehe. I made the run a little longer tonight just for her.
(smirk) Spying on me. I just do it to blow off some steam
occassionally. I did get to do some thinking though, tonight....Akane...
hmmmm......

(Akane scrambles up on the roof)

Akane: Hiya. Wahtcha doin up here?

Ranma (still looking up at the stars): Thinking. And you?

Akane: Just curious about you.

Ranma: Yah. Hey, Akane. About what you said earlier.
(turning his head towards her and sitting up) About us getting engaged
for reals. . .

Akane: Yes, Ranma? (vocie hopeful)

Ranma: I think I'd like to. It won't be easy for either of us. I've
got an uncute tomboy for a fiancee and you've got a hentai for a fiance.
So. . . . .I'd like to have a few more days to think about it, but I
thought I'd share what I was thinking with you. . . .

Akane (love in her eyes): Ranma. . .I don't know what to say. . . . .

Ranma (smiling): Come here. (he offers out his arms)

(Akane looks at him funny for a second and then goes over for the
hug).

(Ranma enfolds her in a friendly hug and holds her for a minute)

Ranma (out of the blue): Akane?

Akane: Yess, Ranma?

Ranma: Guess what?

Akane: What? (looking curious)

Ranma (grins).....

Akane: What?

(Ranma pinches her and jumps away and off the roof)

Ranma: TAG YOU'RE IT!

Akane (mad): RANMA NO BAKA!!!!!!!!!

(We see time pass. Not just hours, but days. Ranma doesn't give
Akane an answer yet. She pesters hima bit but he explains he needs to
think longer. . .)

Akane (angry): How long is it going to take you, you stupid
Hentai?

Ranma (starts to get angry): I told you I'm not ready yet, you
kawaikune tomboy. This is important! I have to make the right
decision the first time, right? So, please (Akane looks shocked at the
word) bear with me a little while longer. I'm sorry (Akane passes out,
but Ranma doesn't notice at first) that it's taking so long and I
promise.....

(Ranma looks down at Akane and realizes she passed out. Not
understanding why he gets woried and calls for Dr Tofu.)

Ranma (on phone): Dr Tofu? (gets mad and shouts at the reciever)
Pop! You're a panda! You shouldn't be answering the bloody phone!

(growling noises come from the telephone reciever; a wind seems to
blow outward from it fromt eh force of the noises. Ranma's ear looks
blasted and his hair swept from one side to another.)

Ranma (really mad; screaming into the reciever): You stupid, old
man!...

Genma-panda (growl-screaming back): grrr. . .rowrl!

Ranma ( very mad and worry creeps into his voice): Look, Pop. I
don't have time to fight with you right now. Akane is unconcious for
some reason and I'm worried about her. . . .

Genma-panda (stops shouting/growling): erk?!

Ranma (continuing): I need you to send over Dr Tofu. It's an
emergency. We're at the dojo. Please?

Genma-panda:.....

Ranma (worry written in deeply in his vocie): Pop. Please,
hurry.

Genma-panda (thinks): AT LAST! He's in love with her! (to the
reciever) Ro-kay. (hangs up and stumbles trying to run and skip at the
same time to where Dr Tofu is).

Dr Tofu (to the departing patient): be sure to tkae the medication.
Come back next week if everything seems to be going alright and if not
come when any new problems arrise. I'm sure they won't though.
Bye!

(Genma-panda grabs his shirt and yabks a couple times)

Dr Tofu: Mr Saotome! What is it?

(Genma-panda frantically gestures and tries to explain using paw
waving and such, but fails miserably. Finally, he gets exasperated and
runs into Dr Tofu's small kitchen and dumps some hot tea water on
himself.)

Genma: Akane is hurt. RANMA is worried. You better hurry
over. She passed out for some reason....nothing my son could tell.
They're at the dojo. He was too worried about moving her to bring her
here.

Dr Tofu: Oh! Well, if RANMA is worried about Akane it must
be something to be worried over indeed. I'll rush right over. (working
on his medical kit to take over with him, but speaking to Genma). Mr
Saotome will you explain to my normal patients that this emergency has
arisen and that I'll attend to them when I get back. If I am not back in
time for them, could you reschedule those who wish to do so? Thanks!
(Dr Tofu rushes out the door).

Genma: Uh. Okay.

Genma (walks out to the waiting room; most of Dr Tofu's patients are
looking out the door after him): LISTEN UP! Dr Tofu got called
away on an important, emergency call. All who wish to reschedule
have to go through me!

(en mass the patients dogpile genma)

Genma (remenscent of Ranma): That's nto what I meant. ...

(blink to Dr Tofu rushing to the Tendo Dojo)

Dr Tofu (thinking): I hope she's okay. .. .

(In the Tendo's: Ranma has put a pillow under her head and paces very
worriedly)

Ranma (muttering under his breath): Why did you have to go and do
this you kawaikune tomboy? (starts hand speaking like an Italian)
What am I supposed to do? Look after you all the time? (gets a
biblical 'accent') Am I your keeper?

(looks down at her. She looks peaceful)

(thinking) She's cute when she's peaceful.....(cocks a head to one side)
(says aloud looking a little beyond her) I love you, Akane Tendo.
(pauses and turns around) Please be okay.

Akane (straggling sound)

Ranma (turning around quickly; sees Akane sitting there wide eyed at
his last comment.....) uuhhhhh. . .are you okay?

(Akane passes out again)

Ranma (frustrated and worried) ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHH!

(He hears chuckling behind him and swiftly turns taking up a fighting
stance)

Ranma: None shall pass!

(The chuckling continues and Dr Tofu takes a step into view).

Dr Tofu (still smiling and chukcling a bit): Cute Ranma. Very Cute.
(He kneels beside Akane and begins a thorough examination, very
worried at first. We see the worry melt away and become replaced
with amusement) Well, she's okay. She was a little too overwhelmed.
Was there anything more that you said to her beyond what I heard,
Ranma? No. Probably not. Those comments alone would have
shocked her to the point of unconciousness. Well, we'll fix that (pokes
Akane in a few places and she jumps bolt upright)

Akane (lookign lost): Whaaaa.....?

Dr Tofu (to akane with hints dropped for Ranma): You're okay
Akane. Nothing to worry about. You just need to toughen ypourself
up to ummm....Ranma's new treatment of you. Okay?

Akane (smiling happily at Dr Tofu): Okay, Dr Tofu! (then face faults
when she remembers the comments) (turns to Ranma) Ranma........

Ranma (looking uncomfortable): Uhhhh....yessss?

(Just then Nodoka and Kasumi walk in; Ranma spins around and looks
panicked. He realizes it's to late though for flight. Akane looks at
them both with saucer sized eyes. Kasumi looks at Ranma happily)

Kasumi (smiling stills): Surprise Ranma!

Ranma (stunned and terrified): Mom......

Nodoka (rushing over to Ranma) SON! (envelopes him in a hug).

(Akane stands up just in time to be knocked over by a psyching out Dr
Tofu).

(Dr Tofu stands simulatniously smiling at Ranma and Nodoka. He sees
Kasumi and quite predictibly freaks out, knocking down Akane in the
process)

Dr Tofu: Kaa--kaa-kasumi! (his glasses fog over) What an
amazing coincedence to meet you here of all places! (Dr Tofu with a
stupid grin on his face turns to Ranma) Now Ranma-chan. You must
be more careful! No more playiing in the cold water. . .we all KNOW
what it does to your manhood...(he winks as Nodoka suddenly turns to
stone; he walks up to the wall and addresses it while Kasumi giggles)
Akane, you must be stronger than you have been. I realize that Ranma
can be thoughtless at times, but as long as both of you keep loving one
another things will work out. . .(turns away towards Kasumi) Nice to
meet you, Nodoka-san. We've all heard so much about you here.
(Nodoka looks thoroughly confused for a second and then a light bulb
goes off above her head) (She smiles at Kasumi who looks back
giggling).

Kasumi: You're so silly some tiems Dr Tofu.

(Akane has face faulted in the mean time at what Dr Tofu is blurting
out)

(He walks over to the wall and tries to exit)

Dr Tofu: Good-bye everbody! I have other patients to take care
of. I'm sure that Akane and Ranma can heal their own engagement
now. Bye! (he falls out a window)

Kasumi: Oh my! (rushes over with the otehrs to the window).

(Dr Tofu landed alright though and is dancing in the fish pond. Cries of
Yippeee' and the like constantly heard).

Nodoka (chuckles at first at him and eyes Kasumi amusingly):
Well, it seems someone is happy. (Rounding on Ranma and
Akane) It seems we have much to talk of, son and future-daughter-in-
law. Come. (Nodoka flows out of the room almost imperially as
Akane and Ranma gulp and follow).

(They follow Nodoka down the hall and into Ranma and Genma's
room)

Nodoka (looking very severe): Talk, Ranma. What's the
Ranma-chan' from Dr Tofu? And what's this about water and you
manhood? Also I'd like to know what's with this engagement to
Akane.....

Ranma: uhhhhh......

Akane (interjecting): Our fathers engaged us forcibly and without our
concent. Mr Saotome apparently promised my father that his son,
should he have one, would marry one of my father's daughters, should
he have had any. Mr Saotome brought Ranma here and he and my
father selected me for being his fiance to satisify his honour! (She
pants and hopes she distracted Nodoka enough from the other
questions. . .unfortunately, Nodoka has a sharp mind).

Nodoka (thoughtful for a minute): I see. Well, that clears that up.
(Ranma still looks worried over that and what's to come) (murmuring
to herself) Family honour is family honour. . .but. . .(She looks up at
Ranma) Do you mind explaining what Tofu-sensei meant for the other
comments, Ranma? (she looks a little intense).

(Akane gulps. Ranma sweats).

(Just then Happosai makes an entrance darting into the room. he's
carrying a massive bag of panties, as usual, and a jug)

Happosai: Ranma-chan! Akane-chan! My darlings! (Nodoka
swivels in place looking like she could crack stone with that glare)
(Happosai ignores her and chucks a bottle of water at Ranma)

Ranma: AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(He attempts to dodge. Happosai latches on to Akane's chest.)

Happosai: Oh, Akane-chan! Will you comfort an old man in his
time of need!

Akane (screaming): HENTAI!!!!!!!!!!!! (smashes Happosai into the
ground)

Nodoka (looking furious) : DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (she brandishes her
katana and in a blur of speed we see Happosai's bag and panties
shredded). NOW. YOU. PERVERT. WILL. LEAVE. US. ALONE!
UNDERSTAND????? (she looms like no other at that moment).

Happosai (gulping): I'll be back for revenge for my panties! (blows a
kiss in between Akane and Nodoka). I'll be back for you especially,
Ranma-chan (winks)

(Nodoka is about to swing her katana to slice him in half when an
almost petit foot lashes out inbetween her and Akane and punts
Happosai through the ceiling.)

Ranma-chan: DIE OLD PERVERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happosai (voice receding): I'LL GET YOU ALL FOR THAT!!!!!!
You'll see!!!!!!!!!!!.........(more shotuing is heard from him, but it's too
faint to be made out)

(Nodoka stares in wonder and shock at the red headed pig tailed girl
inbetween her and Akane. Akane sighs)

Akane (resigned): I'll go getteh hot water. You talk to your mom,
Ranma.

(Nodoka is still staring at Ranma-chan; Ranma-chan turns and looks at
his mother)

Ranma-chan (sad): Now, you know.

Nodoka (confused and upset): Ranko? Where's my son?

Ranma-chan (irritated): It's me! (shouts) *I'M* *A*
*GUY*!!!!!!

Nodoka (not willing to believe it; she's not stupid, just not quite willing
to accept what her eyes tell her): Ranko, enough games. Where's
Ranma?

Ranma-chan: I'm *HIM*. Look, Pop took us to Jusenkyo. It's a
training grounds in China. Dad couldn't read a THING in Chinese, so
he thought when he heard that it was a dangerous training ground we'd
best go so we can have said that we've learned the most and from the
best places. We got there alright. . . . .

[flashback:

Ranma and Genma standing on the edge of the pulls.

Genma: I won't go easy on you Ranma!

Ranma: That's just the way I like it!

Guide: Wait! Sirs! I haven't finished my story yet!

(We see Rnama and Genma fly at each other and strike from
pole to pole in midair. Finally, Genma gets outsmarted and goes flying
in to a pool of water).

Ranma: Hey Pop. are we done yet? (pause) Pop?

(all of a sudden we see a Panda erupt from the pool and land on
the pole in the same position that Genma had been in a moment ago.
The Panda is wearing what's left of genma's clothing and his glasses).

Ranma (pointing at Panda; shouting): HEY! WHAT'S THAT?

Guide (whipping out sign): That's what I try tell you. That
spring of drowned panda. Terrible, terrible tale of panda that drown
there one thousand, five hundred year ago.

Ranma (scared and furious): HEY! You didn't tell us anything
about this!

(Genma-panda takes Ranma's distraction for a moment to strike
and attacks him. Ranma flies through the air and lands in another pool.
We see him emerge much shorter and with different hair color).

Guide: Now you fall in spring of drown girl. Tragic story of
young girl who drown one thousand two hundred year ago.. . .

(Ranma squeezes his chest)

Guide: Whoever fall in Spring take body of young girl!

(Ranma rips open his shirt.)

Guide: Look. Now you young girl!

Ranma-chan (looking down at his breasts):
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fade back to the present]

Ranma-chan: So that's how it happened. AHHHH!!!!!!!

(Akane had entered in while Ranma and Nodoka had been wrapped up
in the story. She is now pouring the contents of the kettle over
Ranma's head. Nodoka blinks and sees her son again).

Akane (smirkingly): He changes back with the use of hot water.
Cold water is what gets him into trouble. Hence Dr Tofu's comment.
Not very many people know about Ranma's curse.

Ranma (glaring up at Akane): It doesn't need to be THAT hot; thank
you very much. (to Nodoka) Ever wonder why Mr Panda had glasses
like Dad's? Well, when we heard that you were coming, we hid. We
didn't want to commit seppu-ku, thanks much. We did it because we
didn't want to die....

(Nodoka sighs and swings around her katana. Akane, amazingly
enough also brought tea. She sets it down and gives a level, hard look
to Nodoka).

Nodoka: It seems we have no choice in this matter then, Son.
You, your father, and I must commit seppu-ku!

Ranma: AHHHHH!!!!!!! ARE YOU NUTS????? (backs away
quickly) I'm not going to kill myself over some stupid promise.

Nodoka: Our honor requires it.

Akane (pounds fist into floor)(voice hard as stone): Ranma. Would
you excuse Mother and I for a moment. I'd like to speak to her alone.

(Nodoka turns and looks at Akane rather surprised. Ranma blinks and
isn't sure what to do....)

Akane: if you'd rather commit seppu-ku, remain by all means, Ranma,
you hentai.

(Nodoka blinks again at Akane.)

Ranma: Er. Right. See you guys in a bit.

Nodoka (stands): Wait one moment. . .

Akane (stands between Ranma and Nodoka; pulls out her mallet):
Ranma. Go. She and I have to have a talk (stone seemed soft
by her voice)

(Ranma zips out of the room and closes the door. Nodoka prepares to
face off with Akane. Akane drops ehr mallet and sits. She reaches
over to the tea, confusing Nodoka).

Akane (friendly voice): Would you like some tea while we talk,
future-mother-in-law?

(Nodoka blinks and is unsure of what to think).

Akane (sipping tea): See? It's not poisoned. Sit. have some. We
are not men here for a challenge.

(Nodoka is flabbergasted at the younger gir....no. woman. A very
courageous woman.)

Nodoka Voice hard; katana pointed at Akane's face): I could
strike you down now.

Akane (vocie still light): I know. You won't though. You are
too honorable. Sit. Drink. *WE* HAVE to talk. Specifically about
Ranma.

(Nodoka looks confused for a moment unable to decide between her
honors. . .she sits)

Nodoka (taking a tea cup): You are right. We are not men.

(scene switches to Ranma pacing down stairs)

Ranma (thinking): What are they up to? There's no loud noises
from a fight? There's no corpses flying out the window. (aloud)
WHAT ARE THEY DOING? (shakes his fist at the upper story and is
about to go up when Genma and Soun walk in)

Kasumi (gliding in): Would you like something to drink? (she has a
tray with some iced tea in a pitcher).

(Genma and Soun immediately sit down at the table. Ranma stops still
looking up at the upstairs).

Genma: She's such a dutiful daughter, Soun. Alas, if I only such
in a son.

Soun: Well, you do havea son. Yes, She is a dutiful and wonderful
daughter. A joy like no other.

Genma (to Ranma): Come sit, boy, and drink. Kasumi was kind
enough to bring out something for us to drink and it would be
dishonorable for you not to accept it.

Ranma (staring upstairs): No.

Genma (angry): See here, Ranma. You will obey your father and
come have some tea. I have taught you better than this, Ranma. I
expect you to honor me and our family with your obedience to my
wishes.

Ranma (distracted): No.

Genma (very angry): Ranma. . ..

Kasumi (pleasantly): Ranma, come and sit. Akane and your mother
won't be done any faster with you sitting there looking up at them
through the floor boards.

Genma (choking): Ranma, you heard Kasumi, come and. . . . .erk!
(looks pale) did you say that his mother was here?

Kasumi: Yes. She's up stairs with Akane right now. (sips her
tea)

Genma (near panic): Ah! I have to jump in the pool! (makes ready to
jump in; Ranma grabs him).

Ranma: No use, Pop (still looking upstairs) She knows and she's
pretty good with that katana.....

Genma (nearly psychotic): NO! It can't BE! I must flee! I want to
LLLLLLIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVEEEEE!!!!!!!!

Ranma: Me too. Mom tried to make me commit seppu-ku, but
Akane stopped her. There hasn't been any noise from up there since a
single large thud. (looks worried) Akane hasn't come out. Neither
has mom.

Kasumi: I'm sure they'll be fine. Akane took some tea up with
her before you came down. I'm sure they're jsut talking and sorting
things out. (smiles) After all, they aren't men. . ..

(All the guys glare at her, but she doesn't notice.)

(We see time pass. Several hours have gone by. Ranma paces a rut
into the dining room floor. Kasumi is cheery and goes about her
business. Genma and Soun attempt a game of Shougi but genma is so
distracted that he doesn't cheat and is wins because of it. . . .)

Ranma (steps out of the rutt): That does it! I'm going up!

(Just then we see Akane and Nodoka walk out. Each is laughing and
smiling like old school girl friends. Ranma's eyes bulge. Genma gulps
and distractly place shis last stone which wins the game. Soun cries for
a moment and then realizes that everyone is looking up at his daughter
and Nodoka and stops. Kasumi is beaming.)

Nodoka (looking at Ranma): I am sorry. I will not seek for you to
commit seppu-ku. (looking at Genma) You! You and I need to be
alone for a while. There is much to be discussed, Genma.

Genma (looking like he's about to bolt): uhhhh....maybe later,
dear. I ahev to go visit the store for Kasumi. Right, kasumi?

Kasumi: Well, it would be nice, but I think you have other
priorities to deal with right now, Mr Saotome.

Genma: Uhhhhh....eerrrr.....thanks, Kasumi. I feel some much
better for being released from that responsibility.

Nodoka (stlaks down the stairs drawing her katana): You, dear
husband, have much to explain. (before Genma can get up she has the
katana next to his neck; she smiles darkly and bends down. . . .and
kisses him). Eleven eyars has been a long time, Genma.....(drags him to
his feet and throws him over her shoulder and rushes up stairs.. . .)

(Kasumi, Akane, and Nabiki (who walked in in the middle of all this)
are cheering). (Ranma's eyes are bulging. . .after all, they are his
parents.....)

Soun (laughing hysterically): What a great way to die, Saotome-kun!

(scene fades with one last remark)

Ranma (sarcastically): Great! Where am *I* going to sleep tonight?

(Akane first then the rest all laugh at him)

Ranma (a little annoyed and mad): HEY! It's NOT funny!

(scene fades out the rest of the way)

(END PART 1)

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