[Ranma][Fanfic] Sequence
Scott Jamison
Hi folks! As my debut for this newsgroup, I'd like to present a Ranma
story in script style. Hope you like it!
Send comments to me at ma...@cyberx.com please.
SEQUENCE
by Scott K. Jamison
{Ranma 1/2 and its associated characters were created by Rumiko
Takahashi and NA rights are held by Viz Communications. No infringement
is intended.}
(We open on a sunny day in Nerima's business district. The
camera pans from one busy shop to the next. The sharp-eyed can catch
several minor recurring characters in the store windows. But the picture
soon centers on Ranma, who seems lost in thought.)
RANMA: I just know I forgot something. Lessee...yep, I'm wearing pants,
I brushed my teeth this morning, homework (yech) in my
backpack...wallet...that's it! Akane's birthday is tomorrow and I
haven't gotten a present yet!
(Relieved to have actually thought of this, Ranma looks around
for a suitable gift.)
RANMA: Lingerie's too--ah--personal, she's on a diet so no candy,
nothing good at the movies this week...(spots a jewelry stand) junk
jewelry! Girls love that stuff! And thanks to Mr. Tendou, I know
Akane's ring size by heart.
(Looks over the selection. The shopkeeper, an elderly man, moves
into the picture.)
SHOPKEEPER: Welcome, young man. Looking for anything in particular?
RANMA: Yeah, something, um, affordable.
SHOPKEEPER: I believe I can accomodate you.
(He hauls out a small tray. Most of it is pretty tacky, but one
piece stands out.)
RANMA: Hmm, this one is nice. Right size, and...just enough money to
cover it with sales tax! (Suddenly suspicious) Say, this ring isn't
cursed or anything, is it? It doesn't grant wishes?
SHOPKEEPER: Er, no, b--
RANMA: I'll take it! (Slaps down money) Gotta run! Thanks!
(The shopkeeper sighs as Ranma rushes off.)
(Ranma runs around a corner and runs straight into Kunou, who was
running the other way.)
RANMA: Ow! Oh, hi Kunou.
KUNOU: Upperclassman Kunou to you. Would that I had the time to
chastise you properly, but I have just learned that my beloved (but
slightly wonky) sister is having lunch with the Artist formerly known as
Prince, and I must prevent a musical tragedy!
(Kunou rushes off, but his scabbard catches a ladder, which tips
over onto a dog, which runs on to a board, the other end of which has a
pail that flies into the air, releasing its cold water contents onto Ranma.)
RANMA: Kunou you *sploosh* never mind, just don't look back...
(Female Ranma falls to her knees and searches the ground.)
RANMA-chan: Found it! (Picks up ring.) Don't want to lose this baby.
I'll just slip it on to a finger until I get home. (Does so.)
(Ranma walks down the street, and holds her hand out to admire
the ring.)
RANMA-chan: Yessir, Akane's going to be real happy when she sees this!
(Akane walks out of a store and sees Ranma, and more importantly
the ring.)
AKANE: Ranma! Why are you wearing that ring?
RANMA-chan: Well, y'see, Kunou--
AKANE: You accepted an engagement ring from Kunou!?!
(Too late, Ranma realizes the ring is on *that* finger.)
AKANE: Ranma, you JERK! (Boot to the head) You're engaged to me,
however little I like it! (Slap)
RANMA-chan: Jeez! I kinda wish weren't engaged. In fact I wish I
wasn't engaged to any girls at all!
(The ring begins to glow.)
RANMA-chan: Wait a minute! It isn't supposed to do t--
(Fade back in on a futon. It's occupied, but all we can see of
the sleeper is a lump of black hair with a pigtail sticking out.)
NODOKA (off): Ranma, time to get up, sleepyhead.
RANMA: *Mmble* Do I hafta, Mom? Mom?! Mom!!
(Head lifts off the pillow, though the picture stays focused on
the futon as the blanket floats down. We hear running, then a hugging
sound.)
RANMA (off): Mom, I love you!
NODOKA (off): I love you too, honeybunch. You're my very favorite daughter.
RANMA (off): Oh, Mom...did you say "daughter"?
NODOKA (off): Of course, dear. You thought I was going to say "hedgehog"?
RANMA (off): Mirror! Where's the mirror? (Running noises) AAGGHH!
(Switch to the mirror, which shows female Ranma, but with two
changes. Her hair is black, like male Ranma's (or the manga version) and
she has male Ranma's voice. She looks appalled. Ranma pats herself down.)
RANMA: I'm a girl.
(Nodoka moves into the frame and straightens Ranma's pajama top.)
NODOKA: Just like always, dear. No point in acting surprised now.
RANMA: I'm a girl.
NODOKA (beginning to lose patience): Yes! Now get dressed for school.
Your friend Akane should be by soon to pick you up.
RANMA: Akane?
(Nodoka leaves, a concerned expression on her face. As Ranma
rummages through the closet, the camera pans the room, and we see that it
is indeed a teenaged girl's living quarters. There are pictures on the
wall of female Ranma at various ages.)
RANMA: None of my Chinese outfits? Well, if I must, I'll go with this
tacky uniform...
(Switch to the front of an apartment building, where Akane (long
hair, like at the beginning of the series) waits impatiently. The front
door opens, and Ranma steps out, dressed in the Furikan High outfit.)
RANMA: Uh, hi, Akane. Say, I recognize this place.
AKANE: Duh! You've only lived here forever!
RANMA: Um, right. Say, I'm not engaged to you, right?
AKANE: Don't be silly! We're both girls!
RANMA: Just checking. [I guess you could call it fair. If I'm a girl
(and neither hot nor cold water works on me now, so I guess I am), I'm
not engaged to any girls. And since I never was a man, I don't have to
get embarrassed about losing my manhood. This could actually work out!]
AKANE: C'mon, Ranmaa!
(They start walking to school.)
AKANE: Any news on Hikaru?
RANMA: Who?
AKANE: Hikaru, the brother you haven't seen in ten years? The one
that's supposed to come home tomorrow with your father?
RANMA: Oh, that Hikaru? No, nothing new. [I have a brother? Bet he's
engaged to Akane, poor fellow.] (Smirk)
AKANE: Hurry up, Ranma!
(They run.)
(Furinkan High's gate, where we see...aw, you guessed!)
KUNOU: Ranma Saotome! Akane Tendou! Rejoice! For I, Tatewaki Kunou,
the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, shall today make one of you my bride!
RANMA: What are you babbling about this time?
(Kunou blinks in surprise.)
AKANE: Same thing he always does. Both our families engaged us to him
when we were little. Since neither of us wants to marry the loon, we
made a deal. The first one to lose a fight to him has to go through with it.
KUNOU: Just so! And now, when the tide of destiny has--
(Ranma boots him in the head.)
RANMA: Less talk. More fighting.
(they go to it in earnest, but it soon becomes clear Ranma has
the upper hand.)
YUKA: Gee, Akane, looks like Ranma's been practicing.
AKANE: I've never seen those moves from her before. Wonder where she
learned them?
(Kunou is spread in a fine paste on the ground.)
RANMA: Sorry, Akane, should have left some for you.
AKANE: That's all right. *You* can be the most violent, uncute,
unfeminine girl in school today.
RANMA: Ook! [I'm engaged to Kunou? Eeewww! Maybe this isn't such a
good deal after all.] (checks notebook) [Sewing class?]
(Lunchtime, and the Furinkan High athletic field. Ranma and
Akane watch a softball game in progress. Ranma's stomach growls and she
blushes.)
AKANE: Forgot your lunch again, huh? Good thing Kasumi always packs me
extra. (Brings out lunch box) Oh, and I made the rice balls myself today.
RANMA (blanching): Um that's nice, Akane. I'll just skip the--
AKANE: Oh, try one, Ranma! (Stuffs a rice ball in her mouth.)
RANMA: Mpfk (crackle) shdrlu (crunch) Hey, not bad! A little too
crispy, but edible.
AKANE: You sound surprised. As long as I stay calm, I'm a perfectly
decent cook. Of course, if I had someone making me angry all the time,
my stuff would probably be poisonous.
RANMA: Oh. Um, by the way, you wouldn't happen to know if I'm engaged
to anyone else?
AKANE: Are you sure you're well? Let's see--there's Kunou and--(turns
head) Ukyou!
RANMA: Ucchan!? (face faults)
(Ukyou walks up to them. She's wearing a regulation girl's uniform.)
UKYOU: Hiya Akane, Ranma-honey.
RANMA (sweatdrop): [But she's a girl...isn't she?]
AKANE: Hi! Ranma here has lost track of her fiancees!
UKYOU: I'm not surprised. Why the boys go for you so much I'll never
understand.
RANMA: [whew!] Say, where's your spatulas?
UKYOU: Huh?
RANMA: You know, for making okonomiyaki.
UKYOU: Oh, back at my dad's shop. It's not like okonomiyaki is my life,
you know. I'd never get that obsessive unless someone crushed my
romantic dreams completely.
RANMA: Oh.
(Ryouga staggers up.)
RYOUGA: Ranma! At last I have found you!
RANMA: H-hi Ryouga.
AKANE: Well?
RANMA: Well what?
AKANE: Is that any way to greet your fiancee?
RANMA: I'm engaged to Ryouga!?!
RYOUGA: Yes, my beloved. How well I remember the night beneath the
stars when we pledged to marry. Unfortunately, I got a little lost and
we've seen each other eight days in the five years since. But what is
that to true love?
RANMA: What indeed? [At least Ryouga's a hunk. ... What am I thinking!?]
AKANE & UKYOU: So?
RANMA: Ryouga, sweetheart, would you mind taking a shower first? You've
been on the road a long time.
RYOUGA: No problem! Which way's the locker room?
RANMA: Over there (points).
RYOUGA: Right! (Heads off in wrong direction.)
UKYOU: That was pretty mean.
RANMA: I just need some space, okay? I'm not myself today...and...(eyes
go backwards)
(Pan left to reveal a blue police box standing behind Ranma.)
RANMA: When did that get here?
(Tsubasa bursts out. Yep, he's still a transvestite.)
TSUBASA: Hi honeybunch! I've got tickets to The Birdcage. Whaddya
say? I know you love Robin Williams.
(Ranma suddenly realizes Tsubasa isn't talking to Ukyou.)
RANMA: You're talking to me?
TSUBASA: Well, you are my one and only *gurk* (as Ranma picks him up by
the throat).
RANMA: Get lost! (Tosses the cross-dresser out of the picture.) Am I
engaged to him too?
AKANE: Not really. He just thinks you are. You saved his life a bit
back and I guess you weren't listening too well when he thanked you.
RANMA: Swell. Everyone's heading in; it must be time for--Women's
Studies!? [I'm in trouble now.]
(Evening. The Saotome's apartment building.)
(Inside, Ranma helps her mother put up decorations for a
homecoming party.)
RADIO: And tomorrow's weather for Tokyo, upper 60s with frequent
showers, except in Tomobiki, where they will have a blizzard--or maybe a
volcano.
RANMA: Mom, do you happen to know where in China Pops and Hikaru were
just before they decided to come back?
NODOKA: No, the postmark was smeared by water.
RANMA: I bet it was someplace...real interesting.
NODOKA: You're not jealous of your brother, are you?
RANMA: More like sympathetic. Have I mentioned how good it is to be
around you?
NODOKA: Only five times since you got home. I swear, you act like we
were separated for years. (smiles) But just a little more feminine for
your father, okay?
RANMA: [Better enjoy this while I can. Tomorrow all hell breaks loose.]
(Morning. A light drizzle is falling.)
(The Tendou family has joined Ranma and Akane for the party.
Ranma looks uncomfortable in her party dress. Nabiki has already gotten
to the appetizers. Kasumi and Nodoka are trading recipes. Soun is
crying for no apparent reason, which Akane regards with disgust.)
RANMA: Akane?
AKANE: Yes, Ranma?
RANMA: I just wanted to say I like having you and me be friends, and...
AKANE: Why wouldn't we be friends? We're so much alike.
RANMA: Um, well, when my brother [still can't quite grasp that. I've
got a brother!] gets here, please don't get mad if he's weird or makes
mistakes. I mean, he's been away a long time, and he's...been through
some changes.
AKANE: What kind of changes?
RANMA: Well, growing up and all...
AKANE: Don't worry, Ranma! It isn't like this is some kind of o-miai,
right?
(Ranma grows a sweatdrop.)
AKANE: And speaking of odd, you've been acting pretty peculiar the last--
FEMALE VOICE (off): Put me down, dammit!
(Everyone rushes into the hall and is astounded to see a panda
carrying a red-headed girl in a Chinese martial arts costume. Everyone
except Ranma, who isn't surprised at all. The panda sets down the girl,
Hikaru-chan, who looks like the Hikaru from Rayearth.)
HIKARU-CHAN (voice of Ranma-chan): Can't you see you're scaring them?
RANMA (casually): Hi Pops. Welcome home, Hikaru. Hey, everyone, this
is my brother, Hikaru!
NABIKI (poking): Uh, Ranma, your brother's a girl?
HIKARU-CHAN: Do you mind?
PANDA-GENMA: Growf (sign: "Ranma recognized us? What a faithful daughter!")
RANMA: Hey, I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation. Right, bro?
HIKARU-CHAN: You're my sister? Boy, you've got an unfeminine voice.
RANMA: Akane, can I borrow your hammer for a moment?
(later that day, we see a figure vaguely through a fogged window.)
(Cut to Ranma waiting outside the bathroom door. It slides open,
and male Hikaru steps out. He looks like a younger version of male
Ranma, with a much longer braid. His voice is still female Ranma's though.)
HIKARU: You are one amazing big sister. You recognized me right away
despite--you know--helped explain what happened to us, kept me from
getting that Akane girl too angry...man, she's uncute.
RANMA: Just be grateful Mom put the kibosh on that arranged marriage
nonsense. One of those in a family is bad enough.
HIKARU: Yeah, I'm only thirteen, after all. I'm not even sure I like
girls yet, and sometimes I am one! It's really weird being stuck in a
girl's body.
RANMA: [I know how you feel, and apparently I will for the rest of my
life.] I'll do my best to help you through it. I feel kind of responsible.
HIKARU: Why?
RANMA: Um, never mind. Say, so what happened after you left the springs?
HIKARU: Well, we visited this village of Amazons, and ended up
accidentally eating first prize in some contest.
RANMA: And?
HIKARU: Well, Pops managed to con the guy whose prize it was into
letting us go. Said he'd engage his eldest daughter to him. Gave him
your picture, and all.
RANMA: What! This guy, what was he like?
HIKARU: Long hair, really bad eyesight, white robes. Had a really weird
name.
RANMA: Mousse?
HIKARU: That was it. How'd you know? But not to worry, we snuck out of
there before he could get our address.
RANMA: [I'm in Hell!] Aagh! Mousse speaks and reads Japanese fluently!
We're in the phone book!
HIKARU: So?
(The wall vibrates, then explodes. Mousse is revealed in the
settling dust. he isn't wearing his glasses. Shampoo appears behind him
and grabs his arm.)
SHAMPOO: Mousse stop now! Not need Ranma, when has Shampoo!
MOUSSE: Go away, you cretinous bimbo. (Walks over to Hikaru and hugs
him.) At last I have found the beauteous Ranma!
HIKARU: Ranma's over there. (Points to Ranma, who is shaking her head
and making warding motions.)
(Mousse puts on his glasses, sees the difference and shudders.)
MOUSSE: Nii hao, Ranma! (She holds him at arms' length.)
SHAMPOO: You Ranma for real? (Moves closer)
RANMA: Would it do any good to deny it?
(Shampoo kisses Ranma on the cheek.)
SHAMPOO: You I kill.
RANMA: No! (Sinks to her knees and covers her ears.) Make it stop!
Please make it stop!
(Fade to black. Fade back in on a futon, with a lump of dark
hair and a pigtail sticking out.)
RANMA: Aaaahh!! (sits up, pats himself down) Hey, I'm a guy again!
AKANE (off): Yeah, I thought some hot water would help wake you up.
(The camera pulls back, and we see it's the Tendou guest room.
In addition to Akane, Genma and the shopkeeper are there.)
RANMA: Hey, I thought you said this ring (tugs it off) didn't grant wishes!
SHOPKEEPER: It doesn't. It merely shows you the consequences of making
a given wish.
AKANE: You blacked out, and I brought you home. You've been out for hours.
RANMA: You mean this entire episode was a dream sequence? I hate dream
sequences! They're such a cheat!
(The shopkeeper beats a hasty retreat.)
RANMA: This ring was supposed to be your birthday present, Akane. But
now I suppose you're going to accuse me of trying to curse you or
something. (Tosses it away.)
AKANE: R-ranma--
(Kunou bursts in, trampling Genma.)
KUNOU: That crisis dealt with, I at last have time to deal properly with
you, Ranma Saotome. Ah, the lovely Akane Tendou, as sands through the
hourglass of time, these--
(Ranma boots him in the head.)
RANMA: Less talk. More fighting.
(They leap out the window together, and Akane leans out after them.)
AKANE: You idiots!
(off: *SPLOOSH!*)
(Akane rushes out the door, mayhem in mind. Genma walks over to
the ring, and puts it on his little finger.)
GENMA: I wonder...I wish...I wish...
(Curtains close.)
THE END
Well, that's my debut. The next story coming up, "Ranma 'n'
Roll", is a bit longer, so I'll be posting it in larger chunks. Any
questions, comments, etc., let me know at ma...@cyberx.com !
SKJAM!
"Buy Sailor-zine!"