[Ranma][Fanfic] Iris: Destination Unknown

[Nicholas Leifker]

*Left... right... left... right...kick...* Hiroshi kept his eyes
fixed toward the end of the dojo, his moves mimicking the sensei's as
best he could. Focus was the first thing they taught; he struggled
to keep his eyes on the sensei, even as a bird chirped noisily just
outside the building's doors, and a koi splashed in the pond nearby.
His little body strained with effort as sensei's instructions were
followed, even while his muscles ached. He had made a promise to obey
sensei, and he would not break that promise. After all, a warrior's
word was his bond, his honor... his life.

"Okay, that's enough." The sensei bowed to the class, causing twenty
heads to bow in response. Hiroshi smiled; he didn't mind how tired
he was, he was just glad to be doing something good, something he
could understand. He walked over to the side of the room, and picked
up his bookbag.

"Oh, Hiroshi?"

He blinked. One of the other senseis approached him, her black hair
tied back in a ponytail. Instinctively he straightened up; he hated
being short. "Yes, sensei?"

"Your mother called. She said she was going to be a little late
picking you up."

Hiroshi sighed. Late again...

"Do you want to watch the kendo class work out, or would you like to
go inside and get something to eat?"

Hiroshi was about to ask to stay; unfortunately, the rumbling of his
stomach betrayed him. "I'll go inside, Sensei."

He walked out of the dojo, stopping for a moment to sneak up on a
bird before going in. The bird, unfortunately, was too fast for him,
and flew off to safer ground. Sighing, thinking that he'd never be a
good martial artist, Hiroshi walked into the house.

In an instant, his heart stopped. Sensei - HIS sensei - was there,
casually eating one of the snacks set out on the table. Blushing, he
sat down next to her.

"Hey, Hiroshi." She smiled warmly at him, and handed him a rice
cake. "Want one?"

Hiroshi grinned. One thing he liked about Sensei was that she
*didn't* talk like other girls; her speech was somewhere between
boys' and girls' proper speech. It was nice, a pleasant change from
the cutesy stuff he usually heard from his female classmates.

"Thank you, Sensei." He took the cake in his hand and bit into it,
enjoying the sweet taste. His eyes cast to the floor; he didn't want
her to see him blushing.

"Is... is something wrong, Hiroshi? Akane's usually a better cook
than that."

His blush deepened. "Um... no, Sensei."

She smiled again knowingly, making Hiroshi's blush even worse. "So.
How's school going?"

He shrugged. "School's okay, I guess."

"Have you brought your grades up in Math?"

Hiroshi grumbled. Sensei *would* have to bring that up. "I... not
too good, Sensei. I mean, it just doesn't make *sense* to me." He
stared down at his cake, and took a savage bite from it.

"Don't worry. I didn't do that well in math either when I was your
age. Just stick to it, and you'll do fine."

"Yes, Sensei." He hung his head low. He *would* do better... he had
to. His eyes looked up to Sensei's gentle face; somehow, that made
him feel like it didn't matter, that everything would be okay.

His gaze shifted across her form, over to her uncovered arms.
Normally wrist bracers protected them from view; to be honest, she
seemed almost naked without them on. Her wrists were a lot like
Mom's: thin, wiry, with surprising strength for their size. He
paused; there was something else on the inside of her right one...

"Sensei, how did you get that scar?"

Her hand instinctively closed around her wrist; he wondered at that.
Was she ashamed of them? Girls sometimes were ashamed of stuff like
that... After a moment, she turned her wrists over, so that he could
see both of them.

Each one had an identical scar.

"Hiroshi... a long time ago, I made a terrible mistake. I... tried
to kill myself."

Hiroshi looked up at Sensei, wide-eyed. "Why would you want to kill
yourself?"

Sensei only shook her head sadly. "I didn't want to live as I was
anymore. My fiancee had left me, my friends were gone... I couldn't
see my life changing from what it had become, so I decided to end
it."

Hiroshi bit his lip. "Do... you want to kill yourself now?"

To his relief, Sensei laughed - a musical chuckle that echoed through
the house. "No, Hiroshi. Some... new friends of mine helped me out,
and showed me what I *did* have. I started teaching here, started
going to college whenever I wasn't working... and somewhere in there
I found reasons to go on."

He started when he felt Sensei grab on to his hand. "Hiroshi, I want
you to promise me, on your honor. Promise me that you will never
make the same mistake I made. I was so wrapped up in how things were
getting worse that I couldn't see how things could get better."

Hiroshi swallowed. He knew how important promises and honor were to
her - and, perhaps, now he knew why. "I promise, Sensei."

He looked up at her as he reached for a rice cake, his eyes trying to
etch every detail in, just in case. Blue eyes and red lips adorned a
pretty, elfin face; short, disheveled red hair topped it all off,
without any sort of ribbon or bow decorating it. He noticed a small
scar on her forehead, neatly obscured by her hair; beyond that, her
face was absolutely beautiful. He could see the strength and
gentleness behind it, with none of the feminine obsessions that
normally come with it. She was a lot like the friends he had at
school, but was enough of a girl to be one of their kind.

He was going to marry a girl like that some day. That Hiroshi Tanaka
swore.

*****************************************

Leifker presents...

Destination Unknown

An Ranma 1/2 Iris work of anime fanfiction by Nicholas Leifker

Ranma 1/2 characters created by Rumiko Takahashi. All others created
by Nicholas Leifker. All rights reserved.

Welcome to the grand illusion...

*****************************************

The wilderness surrounded Tendo Akane, sheltering her in its life.
Trees guarded her every move, the birds called out their greetings...
and *he* was with her, gently leading her on. She frowned at the
sky, as it threatened rain with its rumblings.

Neither of them knew when this game had started. He would lead her
away from the friendly confines of the dojo, while she would try to
lead him back. In the meantime, the two would get some time alone,
away from the responsibilities and classes that their lives required.
Occasionally it went too far (like the time they ended up in
Hokkaido); for the most part, though, she didn't care where he led
her, as long as she followed.

He stopped, and took in a deep breath. He was a handsome man, with
rugged features and a chest carved by some Renaissance sculptor. She
smiled, and slipped a hand along his abdomen.

"Lovely place you've led us to, Ryouga."

He smiled; he always did love it when she touched him there. "True,
it is pretty. There are other places I would like to show you,
sights that would just take your breath away."

She smiled seductively. "Then why don't you take me there?"

He laughed; she could feel his abdomen twitch. "Because we'd need a
*real* vacation to do that, Akane." He added, almost as an
afterthought, "Or a honeymoon."

She swallowed. Ryouga had been acting strangely all week - and she
had a feeling as to why. The very thought both elated and scared
her. She moved him around, so that their faces were inches apart.

"Ryouga?"

He blushed, and turned away; she liked having that effect on him.
"Um... how's your history paper coming?"

Akane grimaced. History had all the romance of a train wreck, for
her. She sighed, and pulled away slightly. "Frustratingly. I'm
just not interested in Kita Ikki's writing or its influence on the
country." She sighed. "Sometimes I wish I could just toss the book
in the trash."

Ryouga snorted. "You always say that about any paper you're writing.
You'll get through it; you always do."

She crossed her arms. "That's easy for you to say! You're not the
one stuck in classes like these."

Ryouga closed his eyes at the comment, a stricken look to his face.
She quickly wished her words away; not graduating from high school,
let alone college, was more of an embarrassment than he cared to
admit.

"Ryouga, are you okay?"

"No. I hate not being able to find my way. It's cost me so much
over my life - too much, I think." He swallowed; her eyes followed
the movement of his Adam's apple. His shoulders relaxed, and he
opened his eyes toward her. "Akane, ever since I can remember, I've
lived on my own, with no one to look after but myself. All through
the time when I was growing up, I had to push people away, for my
sake as well as theirs. After all, what good's a friend who gets
himself lost all the time?"

He turned away for a moment. "I... I can't live like that, anymore,
Akane. The dojo is my home, now. I love getting up in the morning
and working with Ranma and Tatewaki... and with you, Akane. I live
for seeing your smile in the morning, hearing your laughter like
music, and for tasting that cooking you've worked so hard to
perfect."

Akane took a second to find her voice. "Ryouga..." Callused hands
touched her lips, silencing them.

"Akane... I want to be with you for the rest of your life. I want to
love you, and protect you until we are both old and gray. I want to
be the father of your children." He reached into his pocket, and
pulled out a ring. "Will you marry me?"

The breath caught in her throat. She looked up at him, at his dark,
expressive eyes, his pleading fang-toothed smile, that ratty old
headband he just can't seem to part with... she struggled to find her
voice.

"I... Ryouga, can I think about it for a day or two?"

He nodded evenly. "You need to talk to Ranma, don't you?"

She swallowed. "Yes, Ryouga. Yes, I do. She deserves that much,
especially after I..."

Ryouga's face fell. "Akane..." She could see the protests on his
lips, the urges that it wasn't her fault, that it was his... but she
knew better. And he knew how deeply she thought so. "Okay. I...
I'll be waiting."

She tried to smile. "Okay." She slipped the ring into her pocket,
and looked around. "Now where did you take us to this time...?"

*****************************************

Ranma relaxed in the bathtub, letting the day's aches and pains soak
away. She lifted a leg and touched the water, just enough for
ripples to radiate from where her toe broke the surface. A smile
came to her face as she watched the ripples flow outward until they
bounced off of the bathtub's walls.

She'd finally learned to enjoy baths again. They had always been a
pleasure to her before the final change; afterwards, they just
reminded her of what she'd lost. Now, though... now it was just
water again, with nothing poignant or life-changing or painful about
it.

Her life had come full circle, and for once she was able to enjoy it.
She almost felt like falling asleep in the water, she was so tired.

"Ranma? May I come in?"

She blinked, willing herself awake. Akane was at the other end of
the door. "Sure, Akane."

Ranma fought the urge to cover her eyes at Akane's entrance; some
habits were hard to break, after all. She watched casually as Akane
sat down at the shower, and began to scrub.

"So. How were your classes today?"

Ranma blinked at Akane's question. "Good. It looks like this
beginner's class is going to work out." She traced a line along the
water's edge. "How about yours?"

Akane shrugged beneath the soap bubbles. "It's doing well. It's...
I like working with kids."

Ranma smiled quietly. "I know what you mean. It... it feels good to
be able to teach others what I know - without having to toss them
into a pit of cats or a Jusenkyo spring." She leaned back into the
water, and enjoyed its warmth. "And what did you and Ryouga do
tonight? You two were gone a long time; I was beginning to wonder if
you'd make it tonight."

Akane paused for a moment, just as she was reaching for a bucket of
water. After a moment, she poured it over herself, rinsing the soap
away. "Well... we sorta ended up in this forest outside of the city.
It wasn't too far; we talked for awhile, spent some time to
ourselves, then went home."

There was hesitation in Akane's voice, something not lost on the
redhead. Akane was clearly holding something back. "What's
bothering you, Akane?"

Akane lathered her hair, apparently trying to ignore the question.
"What makes you think that something is bothering me?"

She let out a soft chuckle in response. "Akane, I know you too well.
I was two days from marrying you, remember?"

Something stiffened in Akane at those words, causing Ranma to frown.
She hated when her suspicions were correct... "He asked you to marry
him, didn't he?"

Akane rinsed the soap from her hair, then turned toward the bathtub.
"Yes. Yes, he did."

"And are you going to accept?"

A painful silence passed between the two of them. "Yes," she
whispered.

Ranma settled into the tub, her eyes closed. She felt a wave of old
emotions surround her like a comfortable jacket. Her eyes opened at
a splashing sound near her, and she instinctively moved to one side
of the bathtub.

"Tell me what you're feeling, Ranma."

Ranma brought her knees in closer to her chest. "Akane... when it
comes to stuff like this, there are two very different sides of me.
There's a part of me that's very happy for you, and wishes you and
Ryouga all the best. Lord knows the two of you deserve it after all
that's happened."

"And the other part?"

She closed her eyes. "The other part is the one that's trying to
keep from crying."

She felt rather than saw Akane's hand grab her own, and hold it in a
tight embrace. "Ranma, I... I'm sorry. I know how hard this must be
on you."

Ranma just fixed a cold stare on her.

"Yes, I do. I know what it's like to watch someone you love go in a
direction away from you. And... I know how hard it is to say
goodbye."

Ranma swallowed, then nodded. "Yeah... I was pretty bad back then,
wasn't I?"

"And I had to watch every step of it." Akane's voice was a whisper.
"Eventually, it got to the point that I couldn't take it anymore."
She looked down at their hands. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have
brought that up."

Ranma's throat hurt; despite this, she still found the strength to
chuckle. "It's okay, Akane. It's... in the past. There's nothing
we can do about what's happened; all we can do is work on what's
going on today."

Akane groaned. "Sometimes I think you spent too much time in that
hospital, Ranma."

"Maybe." She let go of her legs, and relaxed once more. "Then
again, I think I spent exactly the amount of time I needed there."

"Speaking of which..." Ranma blinked; Akane's voice had turned
mischievous. "... how are you and Kunou doing?"

Ranma groaned. "We're just friends, Akane!" She started to mutter
under her breath. "And you call *me* a pervert."

"Well, I did learn from the best." She reached over, and pecked
Ranma on the cheek. "Thanks for understanding, Ranma... even if you
still hurt." Akane rose from the bath, the water running down her
lithe form, and exited the bath.

"By the way, Ranma..."

The redhead turned to the door. "Yeah?"

"You want to go shopping tomorrow after classes?"

Ranma thought for a minute. The ache was still there... just not as
intense. "Sure, Akane. I'll be there." She slid deeper into the
water as Akane shut the door; she needed some more time to soak.

*****************************************

Kunou Tatewaki placed his bokken on a rack near the entrance, and
slowly eased his mask off. It had been a hard day, with students and
teachers both bearing down on him. He wondered when he would have
time to write the essay he had due next week, considering he had a
special 'tactics' class to organize for his advanced students.

It had been a rough road, he thought, coming back to this. He blew
his first chance; most people weren't offered a second. Still, he
was proving whoever had faith in him right; while his grades hadn't
been stellar, they were good enough for passing and then some.
Besides, the changes he'd gone through had shown him what he wanted
to do with his life (though even he would never have guessed it).

Like his father, he hoped to become a teacher.

It had come as a surprise to him when he came to that conclusion. He
still harbored some resentment for his father, and was still angry
for the mad whims the crazy old man subjected him to. Nevertheless,
the older he got, the more he realized how much his father was in him
- both the good and the bad. The desire to guide, he believed, was
one of his father's few good points.

"Hey, Kunou..."

Kunou froze. Ranma was at the entrance, clad in a casual sundress.
He blinked; there was something wrong with her. She was too... it
was hard to place a finger on it. "Hello, Ranma. Is something the
matter?"

Her smile widened, adding to his unease. "Oh, nothing's wrong...
now." She moved closer to him, almost to the point of touching.

Kunou's internal alarms started screaming when she moved close. He
could smell alcohol on her breath - and Ranma NEVER drank. "Don't
lie to me, Ranma. What's wrong?"

She scowled. "What, can't a girl ask a guy out on a date? Or is
that too old-fashioned for you?"

He shuddered. He could feel her endowments pressing lightly against
his chest; it was all he could do to keep from succumbing. Instead,
he grabbed her shoulders, and put her at arm's length. "Ranma,
you're drunk."

Ranma shook her head. "Am not." She held a finger up in the air.
"Now the bachelor party... now there, I was drunk."

Kunou closed his eyes, and began to count to ten. "Ranma, please
leave. You are not in your right mind right now." He looked
outward, to the pond. "Perhaps Akane needs help with something
inside."

Something twisted in Ranma's gaze - just as Kunou expected. Whatever
had Ranma upset centered around Akane. "Akane don' need help. She's
off with Ryouga, planning their honeymoon."

He took a deep breath, in an effort to gather his thoughts. "Did
Ryouga ask Akane to marry him?"

"Whaddaya think the honeymoon's for?" Ranma shook her head, in a
slightly exaggerated manner. "They even wanted my permission to do
it before they went through with it. And I just *had* to give it to
them." She looked upwards slightly. "Pretty night tonight, don't
you think?"

Kunou nodded his head evenly. "Yes, it is." He looked for a way out
- and came up with one. "Ranma, tell you what: How about we just sit
in front of the pond for awhile and stare up at the stars. Does that
sound good to you?"

Ranma frowned, but nodded. "Oh-kay..." He guided her over toward
the pond, and helped her down. He lay down on the grass next to her,
and sighed.

"Kunou?"

He bit his lip. Ranma wasn't giddy anymore, that much was obvious.
"Yes?"

"Why did Akane have to leave me?"

Kunou closed his eyes, and tried to gather his words. She sounded as
though she were back in the hospital - not a good sign, all around.
"Ranma, I... I don't know. Sometimes... sometimes people just fall
away from each other. We see what's happening, and we feel so
helpless to stop it, but it just... happens. Akane fell away like
that, and..."

A loud snoring interrupted Kunou's thoughts, and he turned to face
his friend. Sure enough, Ranma was asleep, dead to the world.
Sighing, he picked her up in his arms and carried her to her room.
He fought the urge to kiss her forehead; instead, he just tucked the
covers in close, ran a hand through her scarlet bangs, and walked out
of the room.

*****************************************

That night, Kunou knelt in meditation in his room. Shadows flickered
in the candlelight, casting eerie phantoms along the walls. He could
faintly hear the roar of the city outside, as well as some minor
commotion from his servant; beyond that, though, there was nothing to
disturb him.

His eyes focused on the picture, and he wondered if he had gone full
circle. All through his high school days, pictures of her had
covered the walls, an elusive sprite for him to catch. Her picture
adorned the wall once more, but was very different now. The
fire-haired beauty was no longer something of myth; she was human,
every bit of flesh, blood, and soul that he was.

The problem was that this made her no less attractive.

Being friends, at least, helped him deal with it. He knew her almost
as well as he knew himself - indeed, she had helped him to come to
know himself. There was no need for facades between them; they'd
cried on each other's shoulders far too many times to count. They
were... intimate, without being in love.

And now she'd asked him on a date. She was hurting, he knew; some
scars never totally heal, and Akane's rejection had left scars both
physical and emotional. Part of him yearned for it, to jump at the
chance to date the scarlet-haired girl. Unfortunately, any such date
would be a hollow one, as Ranma would be running away from something
rather than running to him.

Clenching his teeth, he banged his fist against the floor. Ranma
knew better than to ask him out. She knew damn well how he felt
about her, and how much he held inside at times. She always knew why
he occasionally refused her presence, saying it was okay every time
he withdrew himself. Unfortunately, she was hurting too much to
think about that, and he was paying the price.

Things were never easy for them. A small part of him hurt every time
he saw her; that same part of him was now screaming into his ears.
He desperately wished he could let go, forget all about reality and
honor and take the redhead up on her offer, but... but he couldn't.

Damn him anyway, he couldn't. If he let go like that, knowing that
Ranma did it out of some weakness, then he would lose everything that
he had gained.

When did the hurting stop? Why did the battles of long ago still
hurt so much? He still fought with the only weapons he had left -
his honor, his soul, and his friends - and was able to squeak by.
There were others he knew, both from his family and his confinement,
who had not been so lucky.

Kunou blinked out of his meditations, and looked over to the candles.
He had much to do tomorrow, and needed his sleep if he was to get
through it.

*****************************************

Ranma woke up to the sound of an alarm clock - her usual method for
getting up, now that her life was filled with term papers to write
and classes to run. She groggily rolled over, pushed the snooze
button, then turned over onto her back.

The previous day's events came slowly to her, moments passing by like
a film on fast forward. She remembered the empty feeling that came
over her with Akane's announcement... as well as her false-happy,
devil-may-care attitude afterwards. She'd wanted to fill that empty
space with whatever she could find -

Gritting her teeth, she exhaled, and remembered her conversation with
Kunou. Dammit, she knew better than that. She knew damn well how
Kunou felt about her, how much he held inside... and she'd flaunted
all of that in his face, just so she could feel a little better. She
definitely owed him an apology, as well as the next dinner between
them.

Taking one last moment to enjoy the warmth beneath her blankets,
Ranma crawled out of her futon, unconsciously grabbed some clothes,
and walked down to the bath. She needed cleaning up; sleeping in the
sundress was definitely not a good idea. She was almost to the bath
when she saw him.

He sat in front of the pond, lost in meditation. His eyes were
slits, enough to see the world outside without greeting it with a
wide-eyed stare. She frowned; he wasn't supposed to arrive for
classes for another three hours. Steeling herself for what was to
come, she sighed, and walked over to him.

"Good morning, Kunou."

"Good morning, Ranma." She swallowed at Kunou's tone. It was
formal, much like his demeanor before... before everything changed.
She sat down next to him, and grabbed his hand.

"Kunou... I'm sorry for what I did yesterday. It was... just...
Akane's announcement affected me more than I expected. I felt so
empty... and I was desperate to fill it with whatever I could, no
matter how much it hurt." She picked up a rock, and threw it into
the pond. "You deserve better than what I gave you last night - a
lot better."

Kunou remained silent, instead pointing his eyes at the water's
ripples.

"Are you even going to speak to me?" Ranma put her hands on her
hips.

He looked up at her; she steeled herself at the pain in his eyes. "I
apologize, Ranma. I... I don't know what to feel in this situation."

"I know," Ranma replied. "I'm sorry I put you in such a bad
position. I should have known better than to do what I did."

Kunou closed his eyes; Ranma could see the strain behind them.

"Kunou, please speak to me. I... I don't want to lose our
friendship, and it feels like you're shutting me out."

Kunou's Adam's apple fell and rose. "I am wondering what you're
feeling, Ranma. Why you are so... empty."

She frowned. "Isn't it obvious?"

He chuckled bitterly. "Believe it or not, Ranma, I am not
telepathic."

Ranma's eyes narrowed. She fought for a moment to find the right
words. "Because I'm afraid of living the rest of my life alone."

"Alone?" Kunou's eyes bore into her.

"I can never fully love anyone, Kunou. I can't get intimate with
anyone. I... I hang out with guys. They're my friends, but... I
can't ever get close to one. I'm still attracted to girls, but...
but I just can't get into a relationship with one. It just seems
wrong to me, somehow." She stared at the koi playing in the pond.
"You and Akane were the only ones I'd even think about... and now
she's gone."

Her eyes turned to Kunou. He was staring at the pond, just as she
had, except his gaze was more intense... more thoughtful. She
watched his eyes follow the carp's dance, as one leapt from the water
to the air above.

"Ranma, would you be willing to go on a date with me?"

She blinked; the question seemed conjured from the air. "Huh?"

His dark eyes pierced into her. "Would you be willing to go out on a
date with me?"

Ranma looked at him as though he'd grown a second head. "Why? I
just asked you out last night, and you said no!"

"I had to know why you asked me, Ranma. If you were just asking me
as a way to escape from what Akane did to you, then I would never be
able to accept. If, on the other hand, you asked because of me, and
not because of her..." His gaze softened. "Ranma, believe it or
not, you are not the only one who is deathly afraid of living the
rest of his life alone. Most people, on hearing my surname, take a
careful step back; for most, my family, proud though it is, remains
nothing more than poison, no better than the outcasts." The young
man looked down at his feet. "If you decline now that you are of
sound mind, I will understand."

Ranma stared down at her wrists. She'd nearly died because she
wasn't able to face her life. Was this... facing her new life? Part
of her had been dreading trying this. Success was about as
frightening as failure; both meant giving up on something.

But what if there wasn't anything to give up anymore? She looked up
at him, determination forming in her gaze.

"Kunou... I would date with you. But please, give me two weeks to
think about it. That way, if I... decide not to... then..."

"I understand, Ranma," Kunou replied. "Two weeks from Friday, then?"

Ranma bit her lip, then nodded. "Two weeks from Friday. Okay." She
moved to leave, when an impulse came to mind. She turned around, to
her still-meditating friend.

"Kunou... thanks."

His response was barely heard over the splashing water. "No, Ranma.
Thank you."

*****************************************

"Hey, Akane. What do you think about this?" Ranma jiggled the
translucent negligee in her hands. "Something for your honeymoon,
perhaps?"

Akane turned beet red. A long time ago, that would have been a
pounding offense. Fortunately, she was not without other forms of
artillery. "Well, if you're so impressed by it... why don't you get
it? I'm sure Kunou would be just thrilled if you wore it for him."

Ranma, to her surprise, looked at it thoughtfully for a moment, then
put it on the rack. The young woman started to make her way toward
the more mundane sections of the store.

"Ranma? Is something wrong?"

Ranma stared back at her. "How are the engagement plans coming?"

Akane rolled her eyes. "Let me put it to you this way, Ranma: I
brought up the subject of him getting us 'lost' for a few years."

"Heh." Ranma smiled wryly. "Now *that* sounds familiar. I remember
when we started planning for our ceremony. That was... a mess."

"Yes, it was." Akane's smile faded. She crossed her arms in
frustration. "Now care to tell me what's *really* bothering you?"

Ranma blinked. "Huh?"

"Ranma, if I can't get away with it, neither can you. You've never
been one for small talk, and that's all you've given me all day."
She began to tap her foot. "Now. If you don't tell me what's
bothering you in ten seconds, I start giving a martial arts
demonstration to the other shoppers, using your head as a punching
bag."

"Well..." Ranma bit her lip. "Kunou and I are going out on a date,"
she blurted.

Akane blinked. She wasn't sure she'd even heard it right, Ranma had
said it so fast. She walked over to Ranma, and fixed a curious,
incomprehending gaze on her. "Let me get this straight. You... and
Kunou... are going out on a date?"

"Yep." Ranma gave a sheepish shrug.

Akane blinked again. The emotions inside of her... even she didn't
know what to make of them. She imagined that this must have been
what Ranma felt after her recent announcement. "How?"

"Well..." Ranma looked around for a moment. "... that is difficult
to explain. I got sorta drunk last night, and-"

"You got drunk?" Akane's eyes were wide open. "Why?"

Ranma looked down. "Well..."

"It was the engagement, wasn't it?" She fought back the emotions
after Ranma's tentative nod.

Akane looked down at her shoes. "So you decided to go out with him
because..."

To her surprise, Ranma laughed. "Not quite, Akane. I asked him out;
he waited for me to fall asleep. I apologized to him, he asked me
why I asked him out. I told him... then he... he asked me out."

A heartbeat of silence passed between them. "You mean... he asked
you out? And you accepted?"

Ranma shrugged. "Yeah." She walked over to Akane. "Akane, I want
to try this. While you and Ryouga were just dating, I always held
back a bit, sorta hoping that we might be able to get together
somehow. Then, when you told me last night..."

"... you decided to try a relationship with someone else." Akane
nodded slowly. For some reason, there was a quiet hurting inside of
her. She fought to find the questions she needed.

"Ranma, are you sure about this? I mean, this is a guy we're talking
about here." She started looking through the outfits. "Moreover,
it's Kunou."

"Which is why I'm going out with him, Akane," Ranma snapped back.
She looked at a dress on the rack, then turned around. "He... he
understands me. With most guys, I'd have to worry about them
treating me like either some silly princess or like I'm the catch of
the day." She shivered; apparently some memory came back to her.
"Kunou knows where I'm coming from. He knows I'm not ready for a lot
of stuff. And... he knows me. Better than you, Akane, at least on
some things." She eyed the dark-haired girl mischievously. "You
know, Akane, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were jealous of
him."

Akane immediately flustered. "Me? Jealous of... of Kunou? Don't
make me laugh!" She knew she was blushing; she quickly moved to a
rack away from Ranma's eyes.

Ranma blinked behind her, in recognition. "You... you ARE jealous of
him!" The redhead giggled in triumph. "Oh, this is unbelievable!"

Akane sighed, and turned back around. There was no avoiding it; if
truth be told, she *was* jealous. "Yeah, well... I dunno. I always
thought... I never thought you would want to explore a relationship
again someday. Even with Kunou." She waved a hand in the air.
"It's naive and stupid of me, I know, but..."

Ranma snorted, then stared through her. Akane's breath caught; she
knew that look from so many nights between them. "Akane, I... I
know. I think deep inside, we're still waiting for some miracle cure
to make things all better between us." Her smile faded. "Sometimes,
though, that just doesn't happen."

Akane nodded sadly. Ranma twisted her face into a harlequin's smile,
and took Akane by the hand.

"Now. I really need an outfit for this date. Any ideas?"

*****************************************

Kunou felt no small amount of trepidation as the doors opened for
him. He had spent four months of his life locked up in here, and he
couldn't help but feel he was being committed again every time he
reentered the grounds. He walked through them, took a moment to
remember some of the times here, and moved down the hallway.

This was a part of his family's curse, he knew. Any Kunou who hoped
to live a productive life would have to grace these halls at some
point. He was forced to recall that fact every morning, as he took
his 'candy' as part of his breakfast. That knowledge, the curse of
his clan, only became doubly problematic with recent events.

Did he even have the right to start a relationship? In a way, he was
'damaged goods'. Any offspring he might have carried the risk of the
taint. Was he up to the responsibility of raising a child who could
one day have all of the problems he did?

Any questions such as this melted away as he approached the door. He
tried to wipe the apprehension from his face; he knew that it would
come all too easily once he entered. He sighed, and turned the
handle.

The dark-haired woman was no stranger to him - for the moment,
anyway. "Hello, brother."

He smiled. "Hello, sister. How are you today?"

Kodachi shrugged. "Tired. The medications they gave me are rather
potent, and my body isn't quite used to them." She studied the back
of her hand for a moment.

"Brother?"

"Yes?"

"What happened to me? To us?" She banged a fist against the bed.
"I'm twenty years old, and I haven't even graduated from high school.
It's been over a year since I last saw the night air. I've missed so
much; I even missed my coming of age this year. I'm so tired, I'm so
angry... I feel too much, it seems." She shook her head in her
impotence. "How is your life progressing?"

He smiled, a bit of advice that Kasumi had given him to calm someone.
"Classes go well; I believe I will be allowed to become an assistant
teacher during the next term. That will possibly take away some of
my time at the dojo, but hopefully not much." He looked down and
shuffled his feet, then chided himself for his weakness. "There have
also been some developments in my personal life recently."

An eyebrow arched on his sister's face. "In your personal life? Do
tell, brother dear."

He gouged a fingernail into the back of his wrist; the pain gave him
enough focus to continue. "Ranma and I... have agreed to go on a
date."

Dark eyes flashed back at him. "The fire-haired one has finally
conceded to dating you? Why?"

Kunou let out a long sigh. "Akane recently announced her engagement
to Ryouga, and... Ranma was down after hearing the news. We had a
long talk, one thing led to another... and we decided to try it. We
have a lot in common, she and I - both of us are broken, and neither
of us are the person we truly wish to be." He tried to smile. "We
decided to have the date in a couple of weeks, once our schedules
settle down. That way we both have time to think about whether we
really want it or not."

Kodachi closed her eyes. He knew the struggle that went on behind
them; he fought it as well. "I... see. You will pardon me if I do
not wish you success?"

"I... understand." Kunou was used to such words, though he had
expected a far more violent reaction. "I appreciate your candor and
your patience." He looked to the walls. "How is the therapy going?"

Kodachi bit her lip. "I... don't know. The doctors would make
superb demons in the nether world; they prey on my every desire and
weakness, and exploit it. They never tell me anything of use; all
they say is for me to be patient and to wait until the results come."
Her fists were balled; Kunou could see a trickle of blood forming
between her fingers. "I want to get out of here so badly... I miss
running through the night air. I miss... I miss my life."

Kunou moved closer to her, and put his hand over her fist. "I know,
Kodachi. I spent time in here myself. I wanted out so badly I could
taste it." He looked downward. "I was lucky, sister. That very
redhaired woman you despise so helped me find myself again." He
opened her hand; it was a small cut, enough that it would heal on its
own. He brought out a handkerchief, and wiped the blood away.
"Kodachi, I can't give you a reason to get out of here. But... I can
help you build a life once you do. Ranma will help, too, if you let
her."

Kodachi's voice turned cold. "It will be a long time before I can
trust her, brother."

"And me?" He raised an eyebrow.

His sister ran a hand along her bed; a small amount of blood painted
the pristine white sheets. "You... I have to trust you. I have to
trust someone..."

Kunou blinked. "Okay." He swallowed. "That's a place to start."

*****************************************

Ranma stared at the outfits in front of her, a wave of uncertainty
washing over her. The blue minidress she had initially bought for
the date was too daring, now; she considered the night itself to be
daring enough. The forest-green outfit was nice... but just a little
too conservative for a date. She just blinked at the pink dress
Kasumi offered; even after all this time, she still had a dislike for
the color. After staring at the clothes for a moment, she turned
around to her surrogate family, and eyed the youngest of her sisters.

"Akane, how in the world did you ever get ready for our dates?"

The comment only generated fits of laughter from the trio. Nabiki
smiled, and sat down on the bed.

"Ranma, getting Akane ready for a date was a serious challenge.
She'd always say, 'I don't like the color of this!' or 'This makes me
look fat!'. Eventually, we'd just throw a dress on her, say she
looked fine, and push her out into the living room." The comments
generated giggles from Kasumi, and a blush from the youngest Tendo.

Ranma sighed, and lay down on the bed. "I... nothing looks right.
Maybe because nothing is."

Kasumi sat down next to her. "Ranma, are you sure you want to do
this? I mean... this is so sudden, after Akane's engagement and
all."

Ranma moved her hand, to touch one of the dresses. "Yes. God help
me, Kasumi, I do." She sat up on the bed. "I... there was always a
small part of me that still hoped, still wanted to be with you,
Akane. When... when you told me about the engagement, that part of
me hurt - badly. But... it also forced me to look at another part of
myself." She clenched her fist, grabbing a piece of skirt in her
hands. "The... the part that wants to be with him."

There wasn't a sound in the room for a full minute after that. Even
Ranma was silent; admitting it was more difficult than she'd
imagined. Nabiki grabbed one of the outfits, and put it back on its
hangar.

"Ranma, do you... love him? In... in that way?"

Ranma closed her eyes. It was like someone had sealed her mouth
shut. She could feel the tears threatening to come. "I... I think
so." She forced the words out; her lips felt numb as she spoke.
"Yes. Yes, I do."

She blinked, and looked around her. She could see the silent
communication between the three sisters, the conversation between
them without a word. Kasumi wrapped her arms around her, giving her
a motherly embrace.

"Well then, Ranma, we'll try our best to help you get what you want."
Kasumi broke off the embrace, and looked Ranma in the eye. "Will you
trust us?"

She took a hard look at each of them. She knew them; Kasumi never
deceived her about anything, not since... then. Nabiki was far less
the mercenary she used to be, and was mischievous enough to be a good
matchmaker. Akane... she could see it in her onetime fiancee's eyes:
she wanted her to be happy, for her to have again what the two of
them once had.

She opened her arms, and threw herself on the mercy of the family.
"Do what you must."

*****************************************

"Well, I guess I'm ready."

Ranma stared at her reflection in the mirror, her eyes looking over
every inch of her form. The white blouse dazzled in the light,
catching her gaze, while her eyes seemed to fall away from the black
skirt and hose. Kasumi's job with the makeup was flawless, being
subdued enough to get her approval, and the silver jewelry (notably
the bracelets) served as a nice compliment to the package. She
picked up her purse and shoes and began to walk out of the door, when
a hand stopped her.

"Not so fast, Ranma," Nabiki chimed. "You can't go down there quite
yet."

"Why not?" Ranma whined. "He's probably down there and waiting by
now."

Nabiki flashed her million-yen smile. "Ranma, you have to wait for a
minute or two. Let him sit there for a moment, imagining what sort
of evening the two of you will have. Then, when you actually come
down, you'll take his breath away."

Ranma remembered some of the dates she'd had with Akane. Sure
enough, they'd used that tactic several times on her. "Um... okay."
She looked in the mirror again. "Are you sure he'll be that affected
by this?"

"Look in the mirror," Kasumi offered.

Ranma turned to the looking-glass once more, and tried to see things
from a different perspective. It wasn't difficult; all she had to do
was dream. She imagined someone like her approaching her old self,
with a come-hither look to their eyes... She shook her head, and
fought down her blush.

"Get the idea?"

Ranma nodded. "Oh, yeah. I definitely get the picture." She
started to wring her hands together.

"Ranma, are you all right?" Kasumi sat down.

"Yeah. It's just... I dunno about this anymore. I mean... I..."

The sisters sat there for a moment. Akane chimed in first. "Ranma,
if you don't want to go on this date, you don't have to. But...
you'll have to be the one to tell him."

Ranma shook her head. "No, it's not that... it's just that... I
don't know anything about this!" She started to pace around the
room, her eyes focused on Akane. "It was a lot easier back when we
were a couple. I knew how the two of us felt about each other, and
how far we were willing to go in the relationship. But now... now I
don't know anything."

Akane walked over, and gave the nervous woman a hug. "Ranma, that's
the point of dating. Go out with Kunou. Spend some time with him in
a romantic setting. Find out if you want it or not. If not, tell
him so." She broke off the embrace. "Ranma, we had it easy. Our
fathers pushed us into the relationship, without any choice in the
matter. As a result, we got to know whether we wanted it or not long
before we ever really started acting like a couple." She looked
downward for a moment, then kissed Ranma on the cheek. "Go. Have a
good time with him. And, if it works out... I wish the two of you
the best of luck. Lord knows you both deserve it."

Ranma backed away slowly. "O... Okay, Akane." She turned to Nabiki,
and raised an eyebrow in her direction. "May I go now?"

Nabiki crossed her legs, then looked lazily at her watch. "He's been
down there long enough, I think." She smiled with mischief, and
grabbed Ranma's hand. "Have fun, Ranma."

Kasumi opened the door for her, and led her out into the hall. Ranma
paused; it looked like there was something Kasumi wanted to say. She
slowed her pace toward the stairs, and waited.

"Don't forget to smile," Kasumi whispered. "You look so nice when
you smile."

Ranma couldn't help but obey at that comment. "Okay, Kasumi. You
win." She took the first step downward.

"Were you this nervous with your first date with Tofu?"

Kasumi raised an eyebrow. "Yes... and no. The first time is always
the most difficult, and I was most certainly nervous the first time
we dated. On the other hand, I had been dreaming of a night like
that for a long time." They were halfway down the steps; Ranma could
see black dress socks waiting for her at the bottom. "Remember,
Ranma: relax, and be yourself."

The smile widened. "If I did that, Kasumi, I'd be about a foot
taller and built differently." She took the last steps down, until
she could see all of him.

Kunou Tatewaki had always been a striking man; the suit just
complimented matters. The severe black outfit framed his body
nicely; the tie was subdued in color, while being abstract enough to
suggest a complex mind behind the outfit.

He looked at her, and she could see the emotions pass across his
face; shock, awe, desire... all culminating in a look of restrained
happiness. "Ranma. You look... beautiful."

"Um... thanks, Kunou." She still wasn't comfortable with
compliments; she did try as best she could, though. "You... you look
good, Kunou. A lot better than the hakama you usually wear." She
winced; that didn't come out quite like she'd hoped.

Kunou apparently saw the wince. "It's okay, Ranma. I understand."
He held out the flowers in his hands. "For you."

Ranma blinked. She remembered the first time Kunou had offered her
flowers. Like then, she was overwhelmed, but in a different way.
"Thank you." She sniffed them once, taking in their heady aroma.
"Kasumi, could you put these somewhere?"

Kasumi's smile widened. "Sure, Ranma." She went off to find a vase,
leaving the two of them alone.

For a moment, all Ranma could hear was her own heartbeat. She didn't
know if it was fear or anticipation she was feeling; all she knew was
that she was in a situation totally unfamiliar to her, and she didn't
know what to do.

"Shall we go?" Kunou offered his hand to her, as a proper gentleman
would.

Ranma swallowed, and took the hand. "Sure, Kunou." Taking a moment
to slip on her shoes, she closed her eyes, and let him lead her out
the door.

*****************************************

In the Tendo home, a strange happiness reigned.

It wasn't something that could really be defined, Akane thought. She
was helping Kasumi and Mrs. Saotome clean up in the kitchen after
making a (passable) batch of cookies, something she'd fought for so
long to perfect. In the dining area, her father and Mr. Saotome
waged peaceful war on the shogi board, as Tofu and Ryouga watched on
in interest. Even Nabiki, vagabond college student she was, had come
home for the festivities, and was probably hanging around somewhere
in the backyard. There were no arguments, no accusations, no hurt
feelings, just friends and family gathered together to enjoy the
night.

She just hoped that it would last.

So many hopes were riding on this night. Ranma was finally getting
on with her life, after tragedies that would have killed lesser
people - and had nearly killed her. In the night, the Saotomes saw a
chance for happiness for their daughter, and the possible
continuation of their school and way of life. Her family saw the
hopes of honor regained, a banner soiled after the end of their
promised engagement.

Akane herself, on the other hand, saw something far more important.

She saw forgiveness.

There were still nights when she saw Ranma's bloodied body in the
furo, sightless eyes quietly accusing her. She'd nearly destroyed
her relationship with Ryouga in the process; after what had happened,
it was too much for her to hope that she could know contentment
again. It had taken a lot of patience on his part to deal with her
demons, and for her to finally come to terms with her guilt and
responsibilities.

Her eyes turned away to the games of men, and she couldn't help but
smile. Father and Mr. Saotome were definitely practitioners of
'anything goes', right down to their shogi strategy. Both could
cheat with remarkable skill; they both knew what was going on, and
merely smiled when some fortune mysteriously turned into misfortune.
She could see the joy in their eyes; the hurt feelings between them
had lasted for too long, and letting go of them was a relief to
everyone around.

"Akane?"

The whispered voice startled her. She turned around, to face
Nodoka's smiling face. "Yes?"

"How are you doing? You've been silent the whole night." She
gestured over to the center table, where Kasumi was preparing four
cups of tea.

She looked downward. "Sorry, Auntie. It's just... tonight seems so
strange. It's like nothing has changed - and yet, everything has."

The matriarch nodded sagely. "I know. Genma has been so lonely
since he and Soun had their fight. It's been difficult - usually
he's been sitting around the house, too drunk to do anything.
It's... it's nice to see him smiling for a change." Nodoka smiled, a
move that reminded Akane so much of her daughter. "But that wasn't
what I was asking about."

Akane blinked. "Then what were you-" She covered her left hand.
"Oh."

"It's okay, Akane. I understand." She smiled. "I was young once,
too. I remember the times when Genma and I were dating; it was... an
experience." Akane blinked; the smile faltered for a moment.
"Congratulations, Akane. I'm glad you found someone to share your
life with."

Akane just stood there when Nodoka moved to hug her; she knew how much
the engagement hurt the older woman. It took a moment for her to wrap
her arms across Nodoka's back.

A whisper broke the spell, a quiet hiss to the two of them.

"She's back." Nabiki's head poked inside the kitchen. "Come on."
Akane broke off the embrace. She noticed she was crying; so was
Nodoka. The matriarch wiped the tears from her eyes, and
straightened her kimono.

"Come. Shall we see how my daughter fared tonight?"

Akane smiled. This was going to be interesting, to say the least.

*****************************************

Ranma never thought the sidewalk could look so long.

She stared at the walkway leading to her home, wondering what would
happen in the steps between. She'd spent many a night ending a date
on these steps, and she knew quite well what could - or should -
happen. Everything that had happened tonight was simple preamble to
what those steps would bring. She looked downward at her outfit, and
smoothed out her skirt for the third time in as many minutes.

"I had a lovely time, Kunou." She squeezed the hand she held.
"Thank you."

"You're welcome." Ranma almost giggled; Kunou was even more nervous
than she was. "I... enjoyed the time we spent together."

She thought furiously for a moment. She wasn't ready - not yet.

"When is the next visiting day? I... I'd like to see her, if I
could."

Kunou shook his head. "A week from tomorrow, if I recall correctly.
However, considering your... adversarial relationship in the past, I
think you may need to clear your visit with the doctor before
coming."

"Oh." Ranma stopped for a moment, and closed her eyes. She needed
to steel herself for this; if she didn't, then she might end up doing
something they'd both regret. She moved around to face Kunou, her
head slowly moving upwards.

"Kunou..."

"Yes?" he croaked.

Ranma didn't respond. Instead, she slipped her other arm around his
waist. She tried to pull him closer... then realized what she was
doing. She shifted her hands upward, to wrap her arms around his
neck. Her eyelids suddenly became heavy as her lips approached
his...

The first touch was soft, tentative; neither one was sure how far
they wanted to go. They broke off for a moment, then melted into a
second, more natural one.

Ranma mentally sighed as she melted into the kiss. She'd been
aggressive at first, wanting to go this far... now that she was here,
she didn't want to leave. It didn't feel like it was before, not
with Akane. Then he'd been hungry, wanting more, wanting to know
more. Here, it was different.

Here, she was safe; here, she was content. She pressed closer to
Kunou, to get closer to him, to *share* more with -

In an instant, she backed away. She was shaking; she... she felt...
She turned away from him, desperate to find her bearings.

"Ranma? Are you..." His words died away. "I'm sorry, Ranma. I
shouldn't have..."

She turned back to him. He looked like a puppy dog, his eyes
mournful and sad. She managed a laugh; the irony was too much.
"I... I'm sorry, Kunou. It's not your fault. I was just taken
surprise by... something, is all."

"What?" Kunou stared blankly at her for a moment, before eyes
widened in realization. He casually tried to hold his hands over his
groin. "Sorry."

She walked forward, and lay her head against his shoulder. "No,
it's... it's my fault. This is all so... so new to me." She closed
her eyes, wishing that body and soul could match for once.

The feeling of protection washed over her again as Kunou held her.
He brought her in close in a one-handed embrace, her body carefully
to his side. She heard Kunou's words of consolation, words she'd
heard before...

Enough.

Ranma steeled herself once more. She was *not* going to lose him,
not like she did Akane! Mustering what courage she could, she raised
her head, and moved closer to his center.

"Kunou?" she whispered again.

He looked at her, and she him. She could see the changes in his
gaze; under her stare, he was like prey staring into the predator's
eyes. She moved closer to him, close enough that she could feel his
arousal, and moved her hands to his face.

"I'm ready now."

She kissed him again. This time she wasn't submitting, nor was she
taking charge; this was a kiss of equals. They moved together in an
unpredictable dance, each of them feeling what the other was and
acting accordingly.

And God, did it feel good. Ranma found herself being absorbed into
the moment, much like she was absorbed into her fights so long ago.
She could feel every part of him, and knew that he could feel every
part of her. In a sense, she was more exposed than she'd ever been
before - and loving every minute.

After what seemed an eternity, they broke off the kiss. She took a
deep breath, and sighed. She couldn't get her eyes off of his; their
connection was stronger, more profound... and it wasn't going away.
Coughing once, she found enough voice to speak.

"I... I enjoyed that, Kunou."

Kunou blinked out of his trance. "So... So did I, Ranma." He
smoothed out his slacks. "I... do you mind if we go out for coffee
tomorrow?"

She smiled, and nodded. Tears were forming in her eyes, tears formed
from simple relief. "O... Okay. After your morning class?"

Kunou nodded, then gave one more kiss, a gentle one on the cheek.
"Let me shower first."

She laughed, remembering how he usually smelled after classes.
"Okay, Kunou. After that, then." She nearly tripped in her shoes as
she walked back to the door. It took a moment for her to exit the
world of night.

She blinked upon entering the house. Nobody was waiting for her;
somehow she expected everyone to be there with baited breath once she
got home. She chided herself for her arrogance, took off her shoes,
and padded into the main living area.

This time, she had even more reason to blink. Only the men were in
the room; Pop and Mr. Tendo tested each other in Shogi, while Ryouga
and Tofu watched. The men all turned around at her presence, giving
her father a chance to shuffle the pieces around. Tofu was the first
to recover.

"So, Ranma. How did the date go?"

She looked downward. She *really* didn't feel like telling them
everything. It... felt wrong now, for some reason. "O... Okay, I
guess. We're going out tomorrow for coffee, so..."

Tendo Soun nodded approvingly. "Well, that's a good sign."

Her father swallowed. "Did... anything happen on the date?"

She looked at him questioningly. "What do you mean, Pop?"

Saotome Genma just looked at her. "You know very well what I mean,
Ranma."

She looked downward. She couldn't lie; it just wasn't programmed
into her. "Well... we kissed, but that's about all." Seeing the
stupefied faces of the men, Ranma glanced down at herself, and
sighed. "I hope you don't mind, but I'd *really* like to get out of
these clothes."

"N... N... No problem, Ranma. Go... go right ahead." Mr. Tendo
waved her off. Ranma smiled at their reactions; it was funny to see
all of them react like that. She nodded to them as she left, and
slowly made her way up the stairs.

The redhead stopped halfway up, and tried to catch her bearings. She
was... she still wanted to feel what she felt outside, the warmth,
the *sharing*...

She wanted her life back, and this was the best way to go. Touching
her hands to her lips, she straightened up, and made her way to her
room.

"About time you got up here."

She looked around. The women of the house had all set up camp in her
room, each one eyeing her with something between mischief and
respect.

"What are you all doing in here?"

Nabiki straightened up from her position in the corner. "Watching
the show. Gotta admit, you had us pretty steamed up with your little
performance out there."

Ranma's face turned beet red. "You were watching?"

Her mother waved a hand dismissively. "Don't worry about it, Ranma.
It was... it was beautiful what you did tonight." She moved over to
Ranma's bed, and sat down. "Now... now we thought you might want to
join in a tradition that's been in the Tendo family for a long time."

Ranma blinked. "What?"

"Oh... after each date, us girls would get together and talk about
it. After all, how else were we going to get the juicy details?"
Kasumi smiled from her chair.

Ranma looked at them. "Guys... er, girls... I dunno. I mean... I'm
still not sure what to think about all this. I'm tired, I've got a
run in my hose, and I've got a long day tomorrow to think about."
She bit her lip. "Tomorrow night, maybe? I could sure use the time
to relax then."

Nodoka smiled. "Tell you what: Why don't we go out someplace
tomorrow? We could go shopping, find a nice place to eat and talk...
It'll be perfect!"

Ranma sighed, and shooed an imaginary fly away. "Fine. Now
please... it's late, and I do have to be up early tomorrow."

"Okay, Ranma..." The women began to file out of the room. Akane
stopped just before leaving, and grabbed Ranma's hand.

"Was it good?"

Ranma looked into her eyes. He couldn't deny her the answer. "Yeah,
Akane. It was."

Akane squeezed her hand, and kissed her on the cheek. "Good. You...
you deserve to be happy, Ranma." She walked out of the door, leaving
Ranma alone once more.

In an instant, clothes were strewn across the room. While she didn't
mind some skirts and dresses, she *hated* tight clothing, and the
skirt and pantyhose certainly qualified. In seconds, she lay on the
bed, her outer clothes decorating the floor, her mind replaying every
moment of the night.

*****************************************

Ranma stood in the middle of the center of her life: the dojo. The
place was empty, for once; the students had all gone, and the other
teachers were not around. The clack of high-heeled shoes echoed
through the building as she walked, creating an eerie feel to the
shadowed room. Her hands were clasped together in front of her; she
could feel the sharp edges of a diamond ring on her left hand.

Her eyes turned to the entrance, to where the picture of the four of
them hung. It had been taken the day they opened for business; all
of them were resplendent in freshly-washed gis or (in Kunou's case)
hakamas. It was a good day for all of them; they'd all created
something to take pride in... to know that somehow, some way, they
would live on in the skills of their students. She didn't want to be
like her father, who constantly took away from the world; she wanted
to give something to it, to make up for both their mistakes. That
was why she taught... and that was why she loved Kunou. She didn't
have to worry about taking; with both relationships, what was given
was freely given, and it was more than enough for her.

As she stared at the photo, though, she frowned. Something was off
with the picture; she herself looked a little... blurred. As she
blinked her eyes, the picture changed, as the redhead in the picture
vanished... and was replaced by a dark-haired man with a pigtail.

Reflexively, she looked down... and nearly cried for joy. He was
back; he didn't care how, he didn't care why, he was back. His old
Chinese shirt and pants felt heavenly on him as he moved; he loved
the feeling of *not* feeling every motion along his chest.

"Hey, Ranma."

Ranma froze at the voice. He turned around to find Akane at the
entrance, her arm around Ryouga's waist. Struggling to find his
voice, he tried to bring words to come.

"Akane... I... I'm..."

"Ranma, Ryouga and I are going to be out for awhile." A mischievous
look passed between the two; it didn't take a genius to figure out
what they had planned. "Could you look after the dojo while we're
gone?"

Ranma nodded. "Um... sure." He looked back down; some things could
not be changed. Sighing, he began to perform a kata, something to
clear his head.

"Saotome..."

He froze. Kunou stood in the doorway. The kendoist held his
practice sword at the ready, as though preparing for duel. He could
feel the longing inside of him, the yearning to be with him... he
could even still feel the ring on his finger, reminding him of the
love between them.

"Ku... Kunou. What... How are things?"

Dark eyes flashed menacingly at him. "Where is the redheaded
goddess?"

He looked around. A fire bucket was posted along the side wall; he
quickly moved, and poured it over his head.

Nothing happened.

Kunou, as expected, was not impressed. "Where is the redheaded
goddess?"

Ranma waved his arms up in the air. "I... Kunou, I don't know what's
happened, but I am... I am your redheaded goddess! You have to
believe me!"

The former Blue Thunder raised his bokken to the sky. "For
enslaving, then destroying the pigtailed goddess, you shall die."

Ranma could not attack him; hurting Kunou was worse than hurting
himself. All he could do was dodge. Kunou, though, fought like a
man possessed; his strikes were far too fast for Ranma to evade. He
screamed when he felt the wood hit his chest, and pierce through to
his heart...

The scream continued into the real world, as Ranma sat up like a
shot. She covered her face with her hands, trying hard not to throw
up. It had felt so real... too real for her liking.

Sighing, she twisted to the side, and moved into a sitting position.
The dream... it felt almost *violating*. It had taken everything
that was ever or would ever be important to her, and treated it like
garbage. She had dreamed some horrible things before, especially
after the last attempt at a cure, but this... this took the cake.

A gentle knock sounded at her door, soon followed by a soft voice.

"Ranma?" Akane whispered, "Are you okay?"

Ranma shrugged. There was no getting out of it. "Come on in,
Akane."

The door opened, letting her former fiancee in. Akane's silhouette
padded into the room, and stood in front of the door. "What's wrong,
Ranma?"

Ranma shook her head. "Just a nightmare, is all."

Even in the darkness, Ranma could see the look Akane was giving her.
"Uh-uh, Ranma. I know you too well. You don't have nightmares like
that unless something is really bothering you." Akane crossed her
arms. "Now what's bothering you?"

The redhead looked around the room. She really didn't feel like
talking, not in this setting. "Akane, I really -"

"I've got an idea." Akane's eyes shone against the pale light from
the window. She reached out, and grabbed Ranma's hand. "Come on."

The young woman shrugged; she really didn't want to go back to sleep,
and Akane made leaving the room sound tempting. She returned the
grip, and followed Akane down to the dining room.

Akane put a finger to her lips. "Stay here. I need to get something
from the kitchen." She walked away, leaving Ranma slightly
bewildered.

A moment later, Akane returned, carrying pie and some plates. "Your
mom made some of these for when you got back. She figured that we'd
talk about the date, then have some of this afterwards."

Ranma smiled. "Yeah... that sounds like Mom, all right." She took a
slice of the pie.

"So... do you want to tell me what your nightmare was about?"

Ranma took a hearty bite of apple pie. "Well... I dreamed that I got
my old body back."

Akane blinked. "This was a nightmare, right?"

"Yes, it was a nightmare." Ranma flashed her a dark look. "It was a
nightmare... because the people I loved either left me or attacked
me."

A surprised look flashed across Akane's face. "Why?"

"Well... you left with Ryouga, and Kunou accused me of taking away
his 'redheaded goddess'." She ran her fingers through her hair.
"Thank goodness for psychiatric medications."

"Are you sure *you* don't need them right now?" Akane smiled. "I
mean, that was a pretty wild dream..."

Ranma took another bite of pie. "I... I think I know what it means.
I... I've always carried a part of my old self with me, a small,
comfortable area that nobody could touch. I... I let that place go a
bit tonight, once Kunou and I were together. I think... if I am to
pursue that relationship, that I'll have to let that place go
entirely."

Akane just shook her head. "You don't get it, do you?"

"Don't get what?"

The dark-haired girl took a bite of her pie, and started to gesture
with her fork. "Ranma, it's telling you that you're going to have to
let it go anyway. You love Kunou; that much is obvious from what I
saw tonight. And... over time... you're going to let that part of
you go, in exchange for a part of him inside of you."

Ranma just *stared* at her. "Akane, we loved each other once. Look
how it ended for us."

Akane winced. "Well... the man I loved died. Someone took his
place, someone who couldn't bring herself to love anyone - not for a
long time."

This time, it was Ranma's turn to wince. "I... I know." She
absently picked at her pie. "I couldn't live with myself then. I
didn't know how."

"And now you do." Akane grabbed Ranma's hand. "You two have a
wonderful chance together - but only if you take it now and give it
all you have." The young woman looked down at her half-eaten dish.
"I don't want you to push him away like you did me. You deserve
better than to live alone, Ranma."

"What are you guys doing down here?" Nabiki shuffled out into the
dining room, startling them. "Don't you know how late it is?"

The two women giggled at Nabiki's intrusion. "Well... Ranma had a
nightmare, so we decided to have a talk."

Nabiki glanced down at the pie. "You're eating my pie? I was
planning on taking that back with me!"

Akane shrugged. "You want a piece?"

The older sister shrugged. "I might as well, since it seems to be
the only way I'll get any." She sat down at the head of the table,
turning a gathering of two into a discussion of three.

*****************************************

The coffeeshop was typical of what would normally be found across the
street from a college campus. A small cover charge was required to
get into the door; beyond that, the offerings inside fulfilled the
basic requirements of any college edible: cheap and passable. Tables
and chairs were eclectic, as though someone had waded through garage
sales to furnish the place. It felt other than home, but it still
felt cozy.

Which was perhaps why Kunou liked it so much.

He grimaced slightly as he sipped his brew. The coffee was always
particularly strong here, almost enough to fall under the 'espresso'
classification. The students loved it, of course; it kept them from
nodding off after rough nights. To be honest, he preferred its
strong, bitter taste over the comparatively weaker brews the other
coffee houses served.

All thoughts of coffee vanished, though, when she walked in the
place. There had been a lot said and a lot done last night... but he
didn't know how she would react to it in the long run. He could tell
from her gaze that something was bothering her.

"Ranma?" His voice was about as close to a whisper as he could get
in the place. She smiled weakly, and sat down.

"Kunou... I think we need to talk."

A cold feeling settled in his stomach; he had an idea as to what she
was about to say. "What about?"

She looked downward, seeming to study the backs of her hands.
"Kunou, would you still love me if I changed back?"

A strange chill went up his spine. "You mean... you've found a
cure?"

She chuckled - a sound that sent some relief into him. "No, Kunou.
I'm still stuck this way - at least, I was last time I took a bath.
But... what if I become a guy again? What then?"

Kunou scratched his head. "Well, it would certainly take some
getting used to. But... Ranma, I love you. I would love you even if
you changed back into a man; that's what love is. I can adjust, in
time."

Ranma snorted. "In time. I thought I had all the time in the world
with Akane. I... I don't want to lose you the same way I did her."
Her grin faded. "Kunou, I want to make sure you know what you're
getting into."

She looked up at him, their faces inches apart. "Kunou, there are
times when I am absolutely sick of wearing some of the crap girls
wear. Sometimes, I may want to go out wearing just a shirt and
pants. I... to be honest, I don't like dressing up, not unless I
have to." She sighed. "Are you prepared to deal with something like
that?"

He raised an eyebrow; truth to tell, he almost felt like laughing at
the statement. "Ranma, for the first year that I chased you, how
often did you 'dress up'?"

She sighed. "Point made." She looked over at his half-drank cup of
coffee. "Kunou, there's one other thing."

He raised an eyebrow, and took a sip of his coffee. He had a feeling
he knew what she was going to say, but he held his tongue.

"Kunou, I... I don't know what you think of such things, but I will
not be anything like a traditional Japanese girl. I plan on running
the dojo with Akane and Ryouga for a long time to come. I don't plan
on staying at home and being some... housewife." Shivers ran up his
spine as she brushed his cheek. "Kunou, I don't know what I want
from this relationship. I'm not ready for anything serious yet;
heck, that kiss was about as serious as I could get. What I want is
someone with whom I can share myself, without having to worry about
what the other person thinks of me. I do enough of that myself,
thanks." He watched the movements of her throat as she swallowed.
"Kunou, are you still willing to accept me, even after all that?"

He frowned. "Ranma, when I was growing up, I lived in a very strict,
proper home. My father was a respected teacher in the area; my
mother was the perfect role model for a housewife. My sister and I
were raised in that tradition, no matter how grueling it was at
times."

Kunou forced a sip of coffee down his throat. "But it was without
love. Father was obsessed, and ignored all of us; Mother sank into
depression, oftentimes venting out her frustrations on Kodachi and
myself. Eventually..." He closed his eyes. "Eventually, she ended
her own life, by slitting her throat."

He watched as Ranma rubbed her wrists. He knew how much it hurt her,
how weak she felt herself at giving up like that. "Ranma... I will
never let that happen to you. The reason why I take those pills
every morning is so that I *don't* do to you what my father did to
her."

His gaze turned as intense as he possibly could; one of the
disadvantages of his medication was that he lost much of his
intensity. "Now, are you prepared to get involved with a family that
has a history of instability? A family where my sister must restrain
herself to keep from attacking you? Where my father may try to
convince you to hula at any time?"

She smiled wryly. "Only if I get a chance to force-feed your pills
if you forget." His hand tingled as her hands wrapped around his.

"Kunou... I want to try this. I... I do care for you. In fact,
apart from Akane, you're probably the only human being on the planet
I could allow myself to live with." She turned away. "I... I don't
find it easy to talk to others. There's so much that I can't talk to
them about... but I can talk to you about."

The young man tried to find his voice. "I... I know, Ranma." He
pulled her in closer, to bring her into a casual embrace. "This
isn't going to be easy on either of us. But... we've been through
tougher things than this." He tried to find something funny to say.
"Like Akane's cooking."

"Yeah..." The two didn't say another word for the next hour; their
hands holding each other spoke for them.

*****************************************

"Okay, Ranma." Akane's left eyebrow arched mischievously. "We want
details. Now."

The redhead looked down at her half-eaten plate of spaghetti, and
wished she could hide herself behind one of the meatballs. She'd
been trying to put this off; after all, she still wasn't sure about
what was happening to her. Unfortunately, the foursome around her
didn't quite see it that way. Giving a sigh in mock exasperation,
she put down her fork, and looked at each of them.

"Well... we started off by going to dinner. It wasn't some fancy
place like I expected; it was just the Rising Sun Cafe near campus."

Seeing the nods from the other women, she continued. "It was pretty
good. We ate sushi and talked about school and the dojo... it was
nice."

The women looked at each other for a moment, questions flying
silently between them. Nodoka coughed, and gave a stern gaze to her
daughter. "Please continue."

Ranma took a quick bite of her food. "Well, after that, we went out
to a movie."

"Which one?" Nabiki asked.

Ranma shrugged. "Mononoke Hime."

Eyebrows raised across the table. "What did you think of it?" Akane
asked. "Or were you two too busy to watch the movie?"

"And you call me a pervert." Ranma shook her head, and took another
drink. "Nothing happened during the movie, though I was sorta
depressed by it."

"Any particular reason why?"

The look she flashed them discouraged further comment. "I'd rather
not talk about it."

A quiet nod went among the Tendo sisters. Nodoka, on the other hand,
remained puzzled. "What?"

"We'll tell you later," Nabiki replied. The middle sister looked at
Ranma warily. "What happened then?"

Ranma cleared her throat. Her eyes started to mist over. "Well, we
walked through the park... looked around... talked a lot... and he
took me home."

"And how did *that* feel?" Kasumi asked.

She bit her lip. "It was scary at first. I mean... there was still
a lot of the old me inside that didn't want to give up, that I
shouldn't have even gone on this date. I had to struggle just to
stand still, long enough for him to kiss me. Then, once things
started... progressing... all of that didn't matter anymore." Her
fingertips lightly moved along the straw. "It felt... God, it felt
good to just let go."

None of them spoke for a minute. The din of the restaurant was the
silent background for them. Finally, Akane moved over, and put her
hand over Ranma's wrist.

"Ranma... now you know how I felt when I ended the engagement. I had
been hurting all over... but when I finally let go of the feelings
that were hurting me, it felt..." She pursed her lips together,
trying to find the right words, "... like being reborn."

To her credit, Ranma nodded. The shimmer of tears accumulated in her
eyes. "I... I know. It hurts like anything to let go... but it lets
go of a lot of hurt, too." The first tear finally came down from
Ranma's face; she vainly tried to wipe it away.

"So. What happens now, daughter?" Nodoka rubbed a fingertip along
the edge of her cup.

Ranma rubbed her hands against her wrists. "Well... Kunou and I
talked about it this afternoon. I asked a lot of him; there's so
much we're both still afraid of. But... we've decided to give it a
try, starting with another date this Friday."

A chorus of approvals came from the women, causing the patrons of the
restaurant to stare at the group. They quickly quieted down, and
showed their support for the redhead in quieter ways.

"Welcome to the club, Ranma." Akane smiled, and wrapped her arms
around her onetime fiancee.

"Club?"

"Oh, it's just us girls," Kasumi chided. "We can call you a girl
now, right?"

The tone of Kasumi's voice made Ranma giggle. "Yeah, you guys can."
She held a fist in front of her, a grin plastered to her face. "But
I'll beat Ryouga senseless if he even thinks about it."

Laughter pealed from the women, again attracting the attention of
nearby patrons. This time, though, they were too happy to care.

*****************************************

The morning sun woke her from her slumber; it was still a few minutes
before the alarm clock would wake her, but she was looking forward to
the day. She stretched her legs, reached into her closet for her gi,
and quickly dressed for the day. Her hands paused before the
bracers; she stuffed them inside of her gi, and made her way
downstairs.

It had been too long, she decided. That she had actually ignored the
beauty of the morning in her drive to get ahead in school was a
mistake, one she planned on correcting at the first opportunity. The
caress of the night-cooled air, the call of the morning birds anxious
to begin the day... she knew better than to leave her home, her
anchor. She took an open place in the grass near the pond, and moved
into position.

Anyone who ever truly mastered a kata knew the magic that the moves
held, once they ceased to be a conscious effort and became
instinctive. Depending on the soul of the dancer, it could speak a
song of triumph or despair, passion or anger. It had been the gauge
of her readiness to return when she had been in the hospital, and it
was her typical gauge when she faced any sort of crossroads. With a
punch, she began the moves, her eyes closed, her wind the only guide.

Even she couldn't describe the effect of the moves on her. It was
musical; she was in harmony with the world around her, and it felt
*good*. She wound her way through the kata and began again, forming
a cycle, each one slightly faster as she descended into the moves of
the dance, the symphony of the world around her the tune to guide
her.

After awhile (did time matter here?), she felt something like violins
entering her symphony, a strange undercurrent of quick, stacatto
chops in time with her passions. The violins increased in sound, as
though one soloist had blossomed into a quartet, then an entire
section of strings.

It wasn't until one of the 'violins' shouted out for their sensei
that she realized it was time for her class. She moved from the kata
to a finishing pose, opened her eyes, and smiled, part in happiness,
part in embarrassment.

Her class stood waiting at the doorway of the dojo, all of them
watching her performance. Self-consciously, she smiled; it had been
a long time since she'd lost herself like that.

She really should lose herself more often, she thought. She bowed to
the class and tried to make as serious a countenance as she could.

Too bad she couldn't wipe the smile off of her face.

**********************

Hiroshi plopped down in front of the table, and angrily stuffed a
rice cake into his mouth. The taste was good; unfortunately, he was
too angry to enjoy it. His mother was late *again*; she always ran
late whenever his sister went to dance class. Why in the world
Akkie-chan needed to take some stupid dancing lessons was beyond
him...

Sighing, he calmed down enough to enjoy the cake. They really were
quite good, almost as good as Mom's. He looked down at his backpack,
and pulled out his Walkman. He almost had the headphones on when
something far more musical echoed in his ears.

"Hey, Hiroshi." Sensei sat down next to him. He frowned; Sensei had
been acting weird lately. She wasn't wearing her armbands anymore,
she was smiling a lot... she was almost acting like a... a girl. He
hoped that she would come back to her senses soon.

"Hi, Sensei," he said warily.

Sensei picked up one of the rice cakes, and held it up. "Do you like
them? Akane and I made them together." She took a hearty bite out
of it, making Hiroshi feel a little better about her.

"Yeah." He bit into his own - far more carefully, this time.
"Um... Sensei?"

"Yeah?" She smiled at him.

He bit his lip sheepishly. "Why aren't you wearing your bracers?"

Sensei nodded thoughtfully at the question. "I got tired of being
ashamed of who I am - or, for that matter, who I was." She poked
herself in the breastbone. "For better or worse, this is who I am.
And... it's about time I enjoyed it."

Hiroshi smiled. That sounded like Sensei - right down to the weird
mix of speech. "Is that why you've been so happy lately?"

Sensei's reaction confused him; she laughed as though he'd told some
joke. "That's part of it, Hiroshi. It's just... right now things
have never been so good for me." Her smile faded, as she tried
(unsuccessfully) to form a scowl. "And how have your classes been?"

This time, it was his turn to smile. "Passed math, with flying
colors."

"Good." She reached into her gi, and pulled out her bracers. "A
reward."

Hiroshi looked with awe at the bracers. They were of remarkable
craftsmanship, black leather cared for as though the owner's life
depended on it. He tried to put them around his wrists; they nearly
came to his elbows, they were so large on him.

"Here, let me." Sensei adjusted the fit of the bracers, so that they
were more comfortable. She finished her work, inched back from him,
and smiled. "There. You look just like I did when I was your age."

This caused Hiroshi to blink. "You did? But... you were a girl!
Weren't you into dolls and looking pretty and stuff?"

He didn't understand when Sensei began to chuckle.

*****************************************

Hello.

Thanks to Douglas Reeves, Kevin Hammel and Richard Lawson for their
help with this.

The last chapter, "China Roses", should be coming shortly.

Nicholas Leifker
nigh...@thekeep.org
http://www.thekeep.org/~nightelf/fanfic/index.html
December 19, 1998