[Ranma][FanFic] The Pursuit of Happiness Act2-2

[RPM - acct 3/5]

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< > - English
// // - emitted from a P.S. system, telephone, or other
electric medium.
Thanks to Eric Jones for the Mikado Sanzenin help :)
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===========================
The Pursuit of Happiness
ACT 2
The Kings of Nerima
Day 2
Shuffling the Deck
===========================

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------Day 2: Pre-fight Survey------

[Furinkan High, lunch hour.]

Unlike yesterday, today's lunch hour was spent in the
traditional group sessions, which meant that Hiroshi and
Daisuke would be with Ranma.

They were also asking lots of annoying questions.

"How're you feeling after yesterday?" asked Hiroshi.

"Okay, I guess."

Hiroshi nodded and started scribbling down something on a
notepad.

"Any soreness? Lingering bruises?" asked Daisuke.

"Well, yeah, a few bruises, but that's normal."

Hiroshi and Daisuke hmmed, then they both scribbled
something down on their notepads. Ranma was looking a bit
perplexed.

"Hey, what's with all the questions?"

"Just estimating how well you're gonna do today," said
Hiroshi.

"After all," added Daisuke, "we've got money riding on
ya."

"Jeez. Thanks for the support."

---

"I feel well," said Kuno. "Thank you for your concern,
fellow students."

"Yeah yeah, right," muttered Daisuke, scribbling notes in
his notepad. "Any lingering injuries?"

"Hmm..." Kuno stretched a bit. "None serious, I do
think."

---

"No, I'm not feeling depressed, why?" asked Ryouga.

"Uh-huh." Hiroshi frowned. "And remind me, what's your
big ki-blast thingy-"

"Shishi-houkoudan."

"Um... Shi... Shi..." Hiroshi scribbled down the name of
the attack quickly, then continued with the questions.
"That thing's fueled by depression, yeah?"

"Um, yeah, but why are you ask-"

"Nevermind. Any particular nagging bruises or injuries?"

Ryouga scratched his head, looking a bit confused. "No,
not really."

Hiroshi scribbled a little more in his notepad, then
flipped it shut.

Daisuke, however, had one more question. "You feel that
you've had an easy time in this tourney so far, or has it
been a struggle?"

"Well, um, not exactly easy, no..."

"So it's been hard?"

"Well, not really hard, exactly. Sort of hard, yeah."
He thought a bit on all his victories thus far and frowned.
"Definitely embarrassing."

"Say, just between us," said Daisuke slyly, "is there
something going on between you'n Ukyou?"

"N-no!" Ryouga scowled, but the blush on his face gave
away his feelings. "I mean, we're just friends, that's
all!"

"So you don't mind if one of us asks her for a date?"
asked Hiroshi, grinning a predatory grin.

"It's none of my business, is it?" replied Ryouga
grumpily.

---

"A few bruises, but I don't think they should affect me
much," said Ukyou.

"I see." Hiroshi grinned, in a sly sort of way. "Hey,
just between you'n me... is there something going on between
you'n Ryouga?"

Ukyou blushed and looked away from Hiroshi. "I, well,
no! Absolutely not!"

"Just friends?"

"Exactly."

Hiroshi grinned. "Hey, will ya go out on a date with me
this Thu-"

-CLAAAAAAAAAAAANG-

Daisuke whistled. "Oooooh, that's gotta hurt."

---

[Furinkan High, 4th floor, 4:15 PM]

The classroom was once more rigged with laptops and
chalkboard diagrams as Nabiki's team prepared for another
day of heavy betting. Their leader, however, was not
amongst them. Instead, she was walking the halls in a
conversation with her new supernatural consultant and
Furinkan High's local fortune teller. The news was a little
unexpected.

"He has what?" asked Nabiki, staring at Mio in surprise.

"From what I've been able to find in the books, the
abnormal aura he has hints towards him somehow having a
variant of 'soul power'."

"Soul power?"

Mio nodded. "It's an ancient power that was never really
understood well. There are many theories on what, exactly,
it is, but there have never been any definite answers. They
all agree, however, that the power is an extension of the
person's soul. Whether it is an extension the soul, or a
greater force that the soul connects to, is under debate."

"Mm-hm. You said Kuno may have a variant of it?"

"Yes. Normally, Soul Power is mastered by those with
inner peace. Their battle aura is usually a bright blue.
However, should those not of a peaceful spirit, perhaps
haunted by inner demons or consumed by evil intent, gain
access to Soul Power, the darkness of their souls taints the
power, hence the darker aura. In turn, the power twists the
user as well. The power in such individuals is known as
Psycho Power."

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "So, in your opinion, Kuno
shows all the signs of having this power?"

Mio nodded.

"Give me the worst case scenario," said Nabiki.

Mio hmmed. "Worst case scenario? Kuno gains full
mastery of the power and becomes a nearly unstoppable
psychotic."

"And the odds of that happening?"

"Not as likely as I feared it would be," said Mio. "I
observed Kuno earlier today, hoping to see something more in
his aura that the cameras wouldn't catch. He's surrounded,
for some odd reason, by several spells."

"Spells?" Nabiki's mind spun a few times, considering
the implications. Two seconds later, it came up with the
only likely suspect: Gosunkugi. She'd have to ask him
about it later, but for now... "What kind of spells?"

Mio frowned. "An unusual assortment. Blessings,
protection against evil spirits, many more that I can't
recognize."

"You can't recognize them?"

"No," said Mio.

"The spellcaster was that good?"

"No... he was that sloppy. I get the impression that the
caster was throwing spells frantically."

Yes, thought Nabiki, definitely Gosunkugi.

"Anyways," continued Mio, "with these spells cast on him,
he should only be able to manifest the full power when his
emotions are incredibly strong."

"Ah, good, end of problem," said Nabiki matter-of-factly.

"There IS one cause for concern, though," said Mio. "The
way those spells are bound to him constantly, they're in
constant conflict with his Psycho power. There may be side
effects."

"What kind?" asked Nabiki.

"No way of knowing, really."

"So, does this factor have anything to do with his
current run of good luck in the tournament?"

"With the power running through his system, despite being
being hindered by those spells, Kuno probably has improved
reflexes, stamina, and even strength. From what I've heard,
Kuno has always been formidable, but just below the level at
which the recent influx of martial artists."

"That would be correct," said Nabiki. "You think he's
been nudged up to that level at last?"

"It's a possibility."

They walked further, Nabiki looking contemplative while
Mio admired the good weather outside. They'd nearly come
full circle around the floor, and could hear the clacking of
keys coming from Nabiki's operations center.

"Something's still bothering me," said Nabiki. "How on
earth did Kuno gain this power to begin with?"

"That," said Mio, "you'll have to ask him yourself."

---

[Furinkan High campus, 5:30 PM]

Mikado sighed, running a hand through his hair, checking
his reflection over and over. For the first time in far too
long, he was going it alone, in The King of Nerima
Tournament. Finally, he'd be able to prove his greatness,
and rid that one blemish from his otherwise perfect record..
Saotome. He would fall this tourney, by Mikado's own hands.

The first day had been a veritable cakewalk. Having
easily disposed of some foppish member of the martial
origami school, he'd had to defeat that lovely yet
overzealous cheerleader girl..

That, however, was yesterday, the past. His attention at
the moment was focused on finding the latest fight match
listings to determine where and when his next match would
be. He idly wondered if his next opponent would prove to be
more entertaining than yesterday's cannon fodder.

Mikado smirked. It was of no consequence. None could
stand before the might of his now-perfected style. He had
far more tricks up his sleeve than when he first met Ranma.
The matches were to begin in about an hour's time, but first
he felt obligated to go about and meet the fans...

---

Ryouga shook his head, growling as he made a bee-line to
the nearest washroom. He was wet, cold, and female. Of
COURSE Moh wouldn't just leave the loss alone.. He just HAD
to get vengeance back..

Ryouga shuddered. He and his partner, Shem Pu had a
nasty thing with seltzer bottles..

But before Ryouga was allowed to think, or move, any
further, a pair of hands pulled her from behind, leaning her
back. Almost instantly, a pair of lips were upon her.

-Male- lips.

Mikado smiled, raising the innocent girl back to her
feet. He sighed dramatically, "Ah, thank you my dear, for
such a message of well wishing. Now, Sanzenin Mikado shall
go forth to victory. I shall not forget you, my lovely.."

With that, Mikado rollerbladed off, leaving Ryouga to
stare blankly ahead of herself. Momentarily.

Ryouga shook her head, then her whole body followed soon
after. Teeth grated, and flames build up around her body.
"I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!!" She cried, punching the ground,
hard.

Later, when she was able to get out of the crater, she
decided to clean up and change back to a male first.

Stopping by one of the concessions stands, Ryouga got a
cup of hot water. As he waited, he noticed the tournament
schedule. His next match was against... ah ha.

Ryouga smiled. Vengeance could wait wait for an hour or
so.

---

With a sigh, another girl stepped back giggling. Mikado
himself was looking quite pleased as he made the rounds with
the people and gave his fans the adoration they desired.

It was a good day to be Mikado Sanzenin.

Mikado's reverie was cut short, when he walked headlong
into another man. He took a step back, his eyes narrowing in
recognition.

Simultaneously, Ryouga and Mikado cried out "YOU!!" Then
then both simultaneously blinked. Mikado was the first to
recover.

"You! You are the boy who cost me my match against that
coward Saotome! ...Hibiki Ryouga, is it not? It seems this
tourney will be more enjoyable than I thought..."

"Hey, you, if you EVER kiss me again I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

Mikado blinked, then crossed his arms and frowned.
"Excuse me? Kiss YOU? I think not. What kind of pervert
are you anyway?"

Ryouga winced. "Ah... I said... I _said_ if you kiss MY
SISTER again I'm gonna kill you!"

Mikado blinked, puzzled. "Are you sure you didn't say
'if you ever kiss me again'?"

Ryouga's brain managed to summon up a little cleverness.
He looked scandalized. "Why would I wanna kiss you?!"

"Hey, that's what I was asking you!"

"I did NOT say I wanted to kiss you!" yelled Mikado.
"You're not even my type!"

"What, you're saying I'm ugly now?!"

At this point, both men had that really bad feeling, the
kind that says, 'hey, better look over your shoulder'.

They did.

There was a large crowd gathered, listening to these two
argue, and plenty of whispers about sexual orientation and
coming out of the closet.

Mikado turned pale. So did Ryouga.

"I'll... uh... see you in the match," grumbled Ryouga.

"Likewise," said Mikado.

They both _quickly_ went their separate ways.

---

Nabiki smiled, pocketing her mini-cam tape, and loading
in another. A huge smile was on her face. "Well, that was
amusing..."

---

---------- Round 3 --------

---

The sun set on the canal, giving the fighters standing by
its side a rather cinematic quality. The spectators chose
this moment to take lots of photographs.

Akane ignored them, she had other things on her mind.

It wasn't her adversary's _very_ dusty, unkept appearance
that had Akane a little worried.

It wasn't the way that her adversary seemed totally and
utterly relaxed.

It was the large metal radial steel wire broom that had
her worried.

Akane had seen footage of Tanya's fights, and she knew
she was in for one rough experience. Tanya Noori was a wily
foe that was entirely willing to fight dirty. More often
than not, she drew blood from her foe either from strikes of
the steel wire broom, or nastier looking hook-like objects
she kept in her jacket.

Akane snapped out of her thoughts when she realized Noori
was approaching her.

The gaijin's speech was a bit stiff, but generally
correct, with an odd sort of accent to it. She said,
"Tendo."

"Um, yes?"

"Just want you to know. Nothing personal."

---

Meanwhile, in the soccer field, a rivalry of
sub-legendary proportions with a year's worth of history was
about to take place.

For once, thought Ranma, he was getting a break.

"Hahahaha... so, Ranma Saotome, fate decrees that I,
Tatewaki Kuno shall cross paths with you on this day!..."

Yeah, same old Kuno, talkative as ever.

"...Know now that your participation in this tournament
is at an end, for today..."

Blah, blah, blah...

"...SURELY destiny has seen fit that the public witness
as I, Furinkan's Favorite Son, bring you, lowly cur that
thou art, to your knees! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Aw, shut up already!" As was tradition, Ranma used his
unmatched speed and slid in for multiple strikes at Kuno's
jaw, finishing it with an uppercut that sent Kuno flying
back, hitting the ground flat on his back, just as Ranma
expected.

Ranma turned his back on Kuno, looking smug. "So, did I
get'em under five seconds?" he asked the judge's table.
"I'm going for that rec-"

*SLASH*

---

The Kolholz Ice Rink was stripped of its ice, leaving
bare concrete at the floor. It was, to Mikado, a sad sight.
He took comfort in the fact that it was only temporary.

He also took comfort in the legions of Mikado fans in the
audience, screaming his name, proclaiming their love for
him.

"Thank you!" he said, smiling and waving as he
rollerbladed around the rink. "Thank you all!" He deftly
caught a rose that was tossed to him from the audience and
smelled its aroma.

Meanwhile, on the opposite side of the rink, Ryouga was
standing there, eager for the match to begin.

The announcer stepped to the middle of the rink,
beckoning both fighters to the middle, then extracted a
wireless microphone.

//LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO THE KING OF NERIMA
TOURNAMENT! TO MY LEFT, RYOUGA HIBIKI OF FURINKAN HIGH!//

There was some light applause, and a fair amount of boos
and hisses from the crowd as well. After all, this was
Mikado's turf.

//TO MY RIGHT, KOLHOLZ HIGH CHAMPION MARTIAL ARTS FIGURE
SKATER MIKADO SANZENIN!//

At this point, the crowd went wild with cheers, roaring
and chanting 'Sanzenin! Sanzenin! Sanzenin!'. Mikado's
smile rose a notch and he raised his hand to acknowledge the
audience's adoration.

//THE MATCH ENDS BY KNOCKOUT OR SUBMISSION! FIGHT//

The transition from smiling, waving egomaniac to
speeding, attacking martial artist was quick, catching
Ryouga off guard. Sanzenin sped in sliding, knocking Ryouga
off his feet and onto the floor. Before he could recover,
Sanzenin sprang up in the air in a dazzling triple rotation,
then plowed into Ryouga's chest with both feet.

Surely, thought, Mikado, that was the end of that. Two
seconds later Ryouga booted him into the wall.

---

"Stand your ground, coward!" *SLASH*

Ranma sprang back as Kuno slashed another canal into the
field. In the distance, several trees and the goalposts
were laid to waste, evidence of Tatewaki Kuno's newfound
prowess.

As he landed, Ranma winced and put a hand over his ribs.
He was still angry at himself for turning his back on his
enemy, even if it was Kuno. Genma trained him to know
better than that. Now, because of his arrogance, he had two
bruised ribs that definitely weren't going to be healed
overnight.

Kuno lashed out again, his speed not quite but
approaching the speed of Ranma's chestnut fist technique.
Ranma dodged some strikes and was forced to block others.
The strikes he blocked left a burning, stinging sensation.

As Kuno's attack wound down, Ranma let loose with his own
speed attack. To his surprise, Kuno actually managed to
block a few, but for the most part his punches were finding
their mark. Ranma finished with backhand followed by a
footsweep, knocking the kendoist off his feet and into the
ground.

"There, MUCH better," said Ranma. He took a few steps
back and caught his breath. This was just wrong, Kuno
shouldn't have been this much trouble. But as the match
extended, Kuno had been getting better. Something odd was
going on.

The question now was if Kuno would STAY down.

"Saotome... I... fight... ON!"

Damn. So much for a quick end.

Kuno rose quickly and slashed again, but this time a wave
of dark energy flew from his blade. Ranma ducked, and the
ki blast flew into the side of Furinkan High, shattering
brick and window alike.

Ranma stared at the damage, then at Kuno, who was
definitely flickering with a dark aura.

"Aw man, all I wanted was ONE easy match. WHOA!"

---

Mikado spun wildly in place, with Ryouga snared in his
Dance of Death attack. Punch after punch slammed into
Ryouga but the lost boy showed no signs of collapse.
Finally, Mikado spun away, leaving Ryouga somewhat bruised
and slightly dizzy and Mikado unhurt but with the world
spinning at an alarming rate.

Ryouga recovered first and went on the offensive, hurling
bandanna after bandanna at the skater until the air swarmed
with them. With his speed, Mikado managed to kick away or
dodge them, although a few flew in close enough to cut his
clothes.

He was so busy taking care of the bandannas that he
failed to notice the really big umbrella flying towards him
until it was too late. A second later, he also discovered
that the umbrella was _very_ heavy.

---

The match had gone on for far longer than Ranma liked.
Kuno didn't land too many more solid blows, but every hit of
his bokken that did get in was going to be sore for days
after. Ranma, in turn, laid Kuno flat on his back several
times, but the kendoist _always_ managed to stand once
again.

It was after a few more minutes that Ranma realized his
mistake. This wasn't the same old Kuno. He was fighting
him as if he was, though, and that just wasn't working.

There was something he knew that worked on anyone. It
worked against Happosai just fine. It flattened Ryouga
before. Surely, it'd work on Kuno.

After several minutes of trading shots, and lots of
insults by Ranma, Kuno was burning red hot with rage.

Perfect.

"Ya call this a match, Kuno? Your sister fights better
than this!"

"INSOLENT DOG!"

Yep, definitely hot enough.

Carefully, Ranma began retreating in a spiral pattern,
with Kuno eagerly following, accompanied by a frenzy of
slashes. Ranma concentrated on cool, kept his focus on being
cool, let inner peace fill his mind.

Then he let loose with the attack.

"HIRYU SHOTEN HA!"

A pillar of light surrounded by a sudden whirlwind
surrounded Ranma, catching Kuno in its path. The Kendoist
flew high in the sky, spinning helplessly in the
mini-tornado that the hiryu shoten ha generated.

A second later, The Blue Thunder crashed down to earth,
finally unconscious.

---

Ryouga had an idea.

He didn't have many, and usually not during combat, but
it was only natural that his mind evolve. This idea was
working out well.

Around Ryouga's feet was shattered, cracked concrete,
thanks to the breaking point technique. Mikado didn't dare
skate into that region, for his mobility would be severely
affected.

Feeling smug about this tactical turn of events, Ryouga
stood in the middle of the rubble, daring Mikado to enter.

"Come on!" taunted Ryouga. "Scared?"

Circling Ryouga like a shark, Mikado scowled. Yes, he
could leap across for some hit and run tactics, but
considering Ryouga's skill, that would not be wise. Even
worse, he was wrecking the rink.

There was one option, but he never did perfect it.

Mikado spun in place at a fast rate and continued to spin
at an increasing rate. Ryouga raised an eyebrow as Mikado's
spinning began to cause an air current. The vague outline
of a whirlwind was appearing around Mikado's form. Ryouga
stabbed into the ground, setting off a breaking point, and
debris flew towards Mikado. It did not, however, strike the
skater, but instead became captured by the now very visible
mini-hurricane that Mikado's spinning was generating.

Suddenly, Mikado stopped spinning, hunched in Ryouga's
direction, and yelled "HURRICANE NO BON-ODORI!" The cyclone
of wind, no longer held by Mikado's spinning, blazed towards
Ryouga, slammed into him, including the swirling debris that
it caught.

Skating away in a wobbly manner, Mikado dusted off his
jacket. "Well... THAT should put an end to..."

Someone tapped him on the shoulder.

"Eh?"

*WHAM*

"That was for the kiss, pervert," grumbled Ryouga.

---

"RRRRRRRRYAAH!" -slash-

Akane screamed as the steel broom tore into her again,
raking more bloody trails on her arms. Despite the pain,
Akane kept enough presence of mind to grab at the broom's
handle. With her superior strength, she pulled the weapon
out of Tanya's hands and tossed it far, far out of the
fighting area.

That broom turned out to be every bit as painful as Akane
feared, turning parts of her gi to shreds, and the
bleeding, while not as bad as it looked, looked very bad
indeed, with bloody scratches across her back, stomach,
arms, and a particularly nasty swipe across the face.

"All right, let's see how you fight withou... oh no."

Noori grimly pulled out what appeared to be a large rusty
metal chisel and an equally rusty hammer.

---

*WHACK*
*WHACK*

It was desperation time for Mikado Sanzenin. The amount
of concrete left that was flat and unshattered was
shrinking, and fast. Ryouga was closing in, and it appeared
Hibiki's stamina was every bit as tough as the rumors had
said it was.

*POW*
*POW*

An ordinary man would have been out by now. Ryouga was
was just finally breathing hard.

At the moment, Mikado had been locked, eye to eye, with
Ryouga, and was mirroring everything Ryouga was doing. Every
dodge, every feint, and every...

*THUMP*
*THUMP*

... hit.

Ouch.

Quite frankly, he didn't know how much longer he could
hold out. Either the technique would finally take hold soon
or Mikado would be doomed.

The Reflection technique was a risky gambit. Mirroring
your opponent long enough would result, if performed
correctly, in hypnotizing the opponent, rendering him/her
completely under Mikado's control.

At the moment, there was the look in Ryouga's eyes...
somewhat glazed, but not quite hypnotized. Mikado was
definitely worried.

Come on, he thought, get hypnotized already!

*CRACK*
*CRACK*

Ow!

Mikado couldn't take it any longer and crumpled,
clutching his ribs.

Ryouga did the exact same thing.

Mikado blinked.

Ryouga blinked.

"It worked! It finally worked!" said Mikado, laughing
crazily, and with Ryouga doing the exact same. So relieved
was Mikado that he let out a maniacal laugh, boosted by
Ryouga's maniacal Mikado-esque laugh echoing it.

Just to make sure things were working well, Mikado did a
little jig. Ryouga followed suit.

"Ahe... AHEHEHEE! IT WORKED!" yelled Mikado.

"Ahe... AHEHEHEE! IT WORKED!" yelled Ryouga.

Ryouga was wide open now. Just one good solid
'everything Mikado had left' boot to the head was sure to
end the match.

Mikado hoped so. He wasn't feeling very good at all.

He concentrated hard, pulled his leg back, and unleashed
a massive spinning kick aimed at Ryouga's head.

*CRACK*

Ask anyone that had fought Ryouga before, and they'd say
that his head was the thickest thing on him. Generations of
evolution had turned the Hibiki Cranium onto one tough piece
of work.

Ranma could have told Mikado a simple truth: the Hibiki
Cranium is tough, but the Hibiki Jaw isn't quite as tough.

Mikado, unfortunately, wasn't aiming for the jaw.

This had the undesired effect of snapping Ryouga out of
his hypnosis.

And Mikado was wide open too.

*WHAM*

---
---------- Intermission ----------
---

In a darker corner of King's Cafe...

"So. Defeated, were you?"

Ryoko scowled. "Ryo, I don't wanna talk about it."

Kyoko tugged nervously on Ryo's sleeve. Ryo snarled,
"WHAT?!", but his youngest sister was unfazed. As if
anything could faze Kyoko Muhoshin.

"Oniisan, whathappened??? What didthatgirl do???
Howdidshe beat you withum...whatisit?" Kyoko said, with
her typical near-breathless manner of speaking.

Ryo smiled a sharp, thin smile that anyone else would
find unnerving. Kyoko found it rather neat-o. "Your sister
was struck down by a mighty and fearsome rugbeater."

"SHUTUP!"

"Heheh. Right. Now if you'll excuse me, I've a previous
appointment to keep."

"Wai! CanIcometoo, oniisan?"

"No."

"Pleeeeeease?"

"No."

"Pleee-"

"STOP IT."

---

There were bruises. There were scrapes. It looked like
someone swiped at her face with a rake and landed a hit.

Ranma took one look at Akane and was ready to tear
someone's spine out.

"Who did this to you?" he demanded to know.

"Ranma, you're overreacting," said Akane, frowning.

"Tell me who did this to you."

"Why?" Akane jabbed Ranma with a finger. "What are you
going to do? Beat her up?"

"I... I...."

"This is exactly what I didn't want you to do!" She took
him by the arm and leaned against him in a reassuring
manner. "It's sweet, really, but it isn't necessary. We
even shook hands and talked a little after the match, so
there's no big bad bully for you to chase after. Got it?"

Ranma looked away, but did manage a disgruntled, "okay."

"Oh, there she is. Noori-san! Hi!"

From across the room, seated next to what appeared to be
a rather beautiful Kunoichi, Tanya Noori looked up and
tipped her hat. She watched for a moment as Akane and her
significant other made their way to their seats somewhere
off to the far end of the cafe, then resumed brooding in her
drink.

<Not a bad fighter, that gel.>

Konatsu asked, "Is that the woman you fought earlier?"

<Yeah, Akane Tendo. Just needs a little more practice
an'she prolly could fight me to a draw e'ry time.> She
nudged Konatsu with an elbow. <Ey, how'd yer match do?>
Noori was surprised to see Konatsu turn a deep shade of red
accompanied by a look of burning rage.

---

Out into the night, there was a scream of terror.

Somewhere in Nerima, a diminutive pervert fell off of a
roof and landed, flat on his back, in the alley below. His
face had an expression of utter shock, confusion, betrayal,
and disgust all in one.

It was a remarkable expression.

Drifting gently downward was a pair of delicate discount
brand panties.

"Aaa... aa.. aack... n-not... a.. again..."

---

"I... I don't want to talk about it, Noori-sama," said
Konatsu, crossing his legs.

Tanya blinked, shrugged, and resumed downing her drink.
She briefly glared at a certain bandanna-clad boy clumsily
making his way across the room, then 'feh'ed and turned her
attention to one of the televisions mounted nearby.

---

"No, THIS way!" Ukyou grabbed Ryouga by the hand again
and pulled hard, nearly setting him off his feet. Ryouga
grumbled something about pushy women, but that was cut off
by an elbow to the gut.

"Hey, Ucchan, over here!" Ranma stood up and waved,
catching Ukyou's attention as they made their way through
the crowds. After a few minutes of struggling, they finally
made their way to their usual table and took their seats.

"Hey guys, sorry we're late," said Ukyou. "Took a while
to find Lost Boy here."

"Don't call me that!" whined Ryouga.

"I wouldn't call you that if it wasn't true!" Ukyou
stuck her tongue out, pulled down an eyelid and did the
traditional 'biiiiiih' insult.

To this, Ryouga couldn't really argue, so he just
'hrmph'ed and turned away.

"I've gotta do everything for this idiot," said Ukyou,
smirking. Then, taking everyone by surprise, she yanked a
bandanna from Ryouga's head, making his cranium snap around
somewhat violently in the process.

"Hey! What'd you do that for?!" yelled Ryouga.

"You slob, you've got dirt all over your face. Hold
still, will you?"

"Hey!" Ryouga halfheartedly protested as Ukyou tried to
wipe some smudges off of his face. "Come on, cut it out!"

"Almost like a married couple already," said Akane, mock
whispering it to Ranma.

The two immediately snapped to a totally neutral and
upright seated position. They were, however, blushing
badly.

It was at this point that the two finally got a good look
at Akane.

"Wow, sugar, what happened to you?"

"Who was it and where do they live?" growled Ryouga.

Akane frowned. "I was eliminated."

"Really?" asked Ukyou. "Who got ya?"

"Tanya Noori."

Ryouga stood up.

"And where the heck are YOU going?" asked Ukyou.

"Ryouga, sit down," said Akane soothingly. "Come on,
it's okay, really."

"Sit down, you jackass," said Ukyou.

"But-"

"It's a martial arts tournament, this sort of thing is
gonna happen," said Ukyou.

"It wasn't anything personal, it was just a match," added
Akane.

"Well... okay."

Ukyou snorted. "Men. Just can't accept that a woman can
handle everything they can."

"No kidding," said Akane. "Ranma's still just as bad."

Ukyou nudged Ranma's foot from under the table. "So,
how'd your match go, Ranchan?"

Ryouga grinned. "I heard he nearly got beat by KUNO."

"Shut up!"

"Ah ha! So it IS true!"

"Feel the testosterone flow," said Ukyou dryly.

Akane nodded. "No kidding."

"It's not like your match was that much better!"
countered Ranma. "You nearly got beat by Mikado, and I
heard he even kissed ya!"

"SHUT UP!"

"Sorry to hear ya got eliminated, sugar," said Ukyou,
ignoring the ongoing battle of barbs between the boys.

"How about you?" asked Akane. "Who'd you fight? How'd
it go?"

"Took down Shinohara High's champion Rhythmic Gymnastics
Martial Artist," said Ukyou. "Kaede the Red Star or
something like that. Kinda like Kodachi, without the dirty
tricks."

"So he DID kiss you! HA!"

"Oh yeah? He kissed you first!"

"Hey, is that your, um, 'sister' Natsumi over there?"
Ukyou pointed at a wandering figure carrying a rugbeater.

"Oh, yeah, it is. Natsumi! Over here!" Akane waved to
the girl, who soon spotted them and made her way to their
table.

"Hello," she said, taking a seat next to Akane. "Have
either of you seen Kurumi?"

Ranma and Ryouga were deep in debate over who gave Mikado
the lesser kiss. Akane and Ukyou shook their heads.

Natsumi narrowed her eyes. "She's late."

"Where did she go?" asked Akane.

"With that little cassanova Prince Toma," spat Natsumi,
scowling.

"Oh, he's not that bad," said Akane. "He's really a nice
boy when you get to know him."

Natsumi looked at Akane doubtfully. "Says the woman that
was kidnapped by him," she replied dryly.

"Sorry I'm late ladies," said Nabiki, taking her place at
the end of the table (or the head, depending on one's
perspective). "And hello to tweedle-dee and dum," she
added, smirking at Ryouga and Ranma (who were now insulting
each other's feminine qualities).

"Have you seen my sister recently?" asked Natsumi.

Nabiki smirked. "Oh, she's nearby."

"_Where?_"

"I've been paid well not to reveal that. But don't
worry. Trust me, they're doing fine."

"That's what I'm worrying about," grumbled Natsumi.

---

"...and your eyes, the colors of a thousand Amazon
butterflies."

*GIGGLE* "Oh, Toma."

---

Ranma peered over Nabiki's shoulder, looking curiously at
her laptop. This, of course, was annoying her greatly, but
as usual he failed to notice that sort of thing.

"Hey, Nabiki, can ya bring up the results from the last
round?"

She gave him a mild elbow to the stomach. "Sure, if
you'll just stop crowding me."

-click-

------------------------------------------------------------
- The King of Nerima Tournament -
Day 2 Results

Saotome Ranma d. Kuno Tatewaki
(recap) (statistics)

Happosai d. Kenzan Konatsu
(recap) (statistics)

Tendo Natsumi d. Muhoshin Ryoko
(recap) (statistics)

Hibiki Ryouga d. Sanzenin Mikado
(recap) (statistics)

Kumon Ryuu d. Ebiten
(recap) (statistics)

Magical Girl Kuruma d. Plasticite
(recap) (statistics)

Konjou Mariko d. Sakugare Sasuke
(recap) (statistics)

Muhoshin Ryo d. Sarotoru
(recap) (statistics)

Masakari Kujo d. Sakamoto Rei
(recap) (statistics)

-more- -previous results- -main- -statistics- -odds-

------------------------------------------------------------

Ranma's eyes shone with an intelligence rarely seen on
his face, as he analyzed the names of those on the screen
and remembered what he could of their skills. "Kumon's
still in the tournament, huh? He'll be tough. I was hopin
someone would take out the old freak, but that ain't
likely."

"You're afraid of fighting Happosai?" asked Ukyou,
eyebrow raised.

"Afraid? Heck no!"

"Then what?"

"It's just.... disgusting when I havta fight the old man,
y'know? He'll try to throw water on me an'then grab me all
over. I HATE that."

"I see what ya mean."

"The matchups for the next round come up yet?" asked
Akane.

"Let's see." Nabiki clicked several times, the screen
flickering rapidly as she hopped across the site.

---------------------------------------------------------
Not Found

The requested object does not exist on this server. The link you
followed is either outdated, inaccurate, or the server has been
instructed not to let you have it.

-back-
---------------------------------------------------------

"Again?"

"Hm?" said Akane.

"The schedules have been late every round," said Nabiki.
"It's just a bit of an inconvenience to me, considering my
current interest. It's really starting to irritate me."

---

[Ryouga Hibiki vs. ]

"Let's see.... ah."

[Ryouga Hibiki vs. Kodachi Kuno.}

"Who else... hrm..."

[Ranma Saotome vs. ]

"Hrm... who... who... OH! Now THIS looks fun!"

---
------------------ Round 4 ----------------
---

Ryouga frowned.

"Ohohohoho! Ryouga darling, how interesting that we meet
in combat!"

Ugh. This wasn't going to be fun. First of all, he
didn't like hitting girls. Second, Kodachi really, _really_
spooked him. Third... that was a really... really tight
outfit she was wearing. Left little to the imagination.

"Don't worry darling," purred Kodachi lustily, "there's
pleasure in pain too." She cracked her ribbon like a whip,
her eyes never leaving Ryouga's body. "Just leave it to me."

Oh boy.

---

Ranma sighed, waiting for his opponent to arrive. He'd
seen the lineup for this round, saw the name, but wasn't
able to get a profile on the person.

All he knew was the man's name. Kujo Masakari.

A passing cloud seemed to cast a shadow on the
battlefield that was Furinkan's baseball field. After Ranma
turned around, he realized it wasn't a cloud. It was Kujo
Masakari.

He was big. Very big. Obscenely big. He was taller
than the Dojo Destroyer and far more muscular. Members of
the audience could easily imagine the behemoth starring in a
film called 'Kujo The Barbarian'. The titanic sword and
leather loincloth certainly helped in that image.

Ranma blinked.

"Oh boy."

//IN THE RED SHIRT, FROM THE SAOTOME SCHOOL OF ANYTHING
GOES MARTIAL ARTS, RANMA SAOTOME!//

The giant listened, committing the memory to name. If
anyone were to ask, he'd say he was listening so he'd know
what name to inscribe on his Book of Maimed Victims.

//IN THE LEATHER LOINCLOTH, JUST ENTERING THE FIELD, KUJO
MASAKARI!//

The large barbarian gave a nasty grin. Ranma wasn't
sure, but he thought he saw some red splotches in those
needle-like teeth.

//CHAMPION OF THE DEATHBRINGER SCHOOL OF ARTISTIC
MAIMING! FOUR TIME WINNER OF THE HIMMLER AWARD FOR CREATIVE
BRUTALITY!//

Kujo laughed. Ranma thought the ground was shaking.

//AND EATER OF LIU FANG!//

Ranma stared at the announcer. "Eater of Liu Fang?!?!"

Kujo roared. The crowd went silent.

"Me Kujo Masakari! I eat Liu Fang, Master of the Shaolin,
in combat to death! I wrestle alligators for fun, torture
children for giggles, and burn cities for relaxation! I use
redwoods for toothpicks, lightning for a nail file, and the
mountains for a back scratcher! Where I walk, the grass
withers, and my breath makes chlorine look like oxygen!
Lions fawn at my feet like house cats, and wolves whimper and
run when they see me! My piss cuts through solid steel!"

The audience collectively 'eww'ed.

"More than I needed to know," muttered Ranma.

"I can't look in a mirror for fear of scaring myself! The
devil shudders at the thought of my crimes, and the Spanish
inquisition would turn green and run after five seconds of
my sport! The screams of the dying are my lullaby, and
thunder is a pale imitation of my laughter! I will have the
prize this day, and dance in your skin on your FLAYED,
BLEEDING CORPSE!"

At the moment, Ranma was thinking of several things.

Feeling, actually.

Feeling all the bruises from the match against the Dojo
Destroyer, the needlepoint burns from Kirin, the good shot
to the ribs that Kuno gave him...

Ranma shook his head and grumbled to himself. "One easy
match, all I ask for is one easy match."

Meanwhile, up in the stands...

"Mmm, looks like a tough one," said Hiroshi. "How many
minutes, do you think?"

Daisuke hmmed for a moment, thinking things over. "I'd
say... fifteen. Any thoughts on how Ranma's gonna come
through on this?"

It was Hiroshi's turn to hmm a bit. "Wella... he's good,
but he's obviously getting worn by the schedule. I'd say
three cuts, two bites, a dozen bruises, and maybe, _maybe_ a
broken nose."

"Wouldn't be as bad if Ranma was coming in fresh on this
one," said Daisuke.

"Of course, of course."

---

Meanwhile, in the Furinkan High soccer field...

There was a Tendo Fan Club in the stands, and it wasn't
for Akane.

Natsumi Tendo, by virtue of her flashy style, natural
grace, sharp beauty, and her habit of not wearing a bra
(causing some to nickname her 'the bra-less wonder') had
inspired a cult following that had grown as the tournament
progressed.

Unused to fanfare and admiration by a large audience,
Natsumi was flattered, very much so.

The headband looked familiar.

So did the grim demeanor.

Natsumi asked, "are you, by any chance, a Hibiki?"

"Well... no, I'm not." Ryuu Kumon tugged his bandanna
idly and wondered why on earth people kept on asking him
that question.

He peered at Natsumi's weapon of choice curiously.

"Excuse me," he asked, "is that... a rugbeater?"

---

A field in Nerima's Tai Park served as the battleground
for Tanya Noori's next match.

Tanya's next opponent didn't look particularly menacing.
Clad in an ordinary t-shirt, denim slacks, suspenders, with
a bandanna covering his head.

<Don't look so tough> she said in English.

The boy smiled. <I'm more than I appear to be.>

So, she thought, the boy speaks English. <Izzat sow?>

<Mm-hm. In fact...> Suddenly, he pulled out a large grey
cape, covering himself. As quickly as it appeared, it
vanished.

Tanya found herself staring at... herself.

<I'd say I wos as good as yew, aye?> said her copy,
perfectly imitating Tanya's voice.

Tanya stared, bug-eyed. <Wot th'bloody hell are yew?>

Tanya's imitation grinned eerily. <Yew c'n call me
Ken... Copycat Ken.>

---

It was a most generous contribution from the Kuno clan
that they allowed the use of the Kuno estate for the King of
Nerima tournament, a 'generous gift to the martial arts
community' said Kuno.

The fee that the tournament organizers were paying the
Kuno estate certainly was a payment for that gift.

In the majestic inner courtyard of the Kuno estate,
watched by a fair sized crowd, Ukyou awaited her opponent.
She was a little nervous, but determined to prevail.

//IN THE BLUE SHIRT AND BLACK TIGHTS, UKYOU KUONJI FROM
THE KUONJI SCHOOL OF OKONOMIYAKI MARTIAL ARTS!//

She was here early. Her parents had taught her about the
importance of being early and ready.

//AND JUST ENTERING THE GROUNDS, FROM THE UNORTHODOX
WEAPONRY SCHOOL OF MARTIAL ARTS, RYO MUHOSHIN!//

He walked smoothly, almost gliding into the courtyard,
with a small grin on his face and his umbrella twirling
idly.

He believed in making an -entrance-.

"Hello, Kuonji."

"Hello, Muhoshin."

He peered at her, rubbing his chin in thought.

"What're you looking at?"

Ryo shrugged, then tightened the black leather gloves on
his hands. "Nothing. Just wondering if you'll be over or
under a minute. I have a record to keep, after all."

With a sharp slash to his side, Ryo extended his umbrella
and the blade within emerged with a -click-.

He grinned.

From the sidelines, an upset Akari yelled, "Ryo! Please,
you promised!"

He scowled.

With a slight movement of his hand, the blade clicked
back into the umbrella, leaving Ryo's weapon a mere dull tip
to stab with. The umbrella spun in his hand for a blur of a
second, then stopped with the hooked handle extended
outward.

"Be thankful she likes you," he muttered to Ukyou.

"Same to you, jerk," she shot back.

//WINNER DETERMINED BY SUBMISSION OR KNOCKOUT! FIGHT!//

---

-slash-

"YOW!"

-slash-slash-slash-slash- "I KILL YOU MAN! CRUSH YOUR
BONES AND USE YOUR ENTRAILS FOR LOINCLOTH!"
-slash-slash-slash-

"HYAH!" *CRACK*

"NGAH! GOOD HIT! HAHA! I LIKE!"

"Aw man!"

"Wow, this guy's pretty darn savage," said Hiroshi.

"Yeah, pretty darn tough," said Daisuke. "Pretty mean
with the sword."

"HYAH!" -thwap- *CLANG*

"Well, there goes Kujo's sword," said Hiroshi.

Daisuke nodded. "Wonder how he fights witho-"

*CHOMP*

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOWCH!!!"

The audience as a whole winced.

"Oooooh, that's gotta hurt," said Daisuke.

Hiroshi nodded. "Oh yeah, definitely."

---

Ryo's attack was obvious in its strategy. Wielding the
hook end outward, he struck outward with it like a club, but
he always pulled it back with the intent to hook a part of
her, an arm, a leg, her neck, and pull her off balance
enough to land a followup elbow or kick. She found it
difficult to hold on to her spatula and had so far managed
to dodge all his attempts to snare her.

Ukyou's own offense was to keep him at a moderate
distance at best. The spatula was a good weapon, but at
extremely close quarters, where he was trying to attack, it
was more of a handicap. She'd delivered a flour bomb to
his face when he got too close once, and kept him at bay
with her spatula shurikens and battle spatula. Once or
twice she tried to tangle him with a barrage of taki-soba
noodles but he'd managed to dodge it easily.

She retreated a step, dodging a swipe to her face, there
was an audible -click-.

Both fighters blinked, then jumped away as a dozen bamboo
spears shot out from the surrounding rooftops.

Ukyou looked bewildered.

Ryo looked irritated.

The audience gasped.

Within the audience, Kuno whapped Sasuke in the head.

"Fool!" yelled Kuno, "You forgot to deactivate the
traps!"

"Sorry master!"

"Waitaminute! This isn't fair!" yelled Ukyou, right
before she narrowly dodged another swipe from Ryo's
umbrella. "HEY! What are you doing?!"

Ryo grinned wickedly. "Trying to win."

---

"FIST OF THE WHITE SWAN!"

*CRACK*

Tanya few back, head first, striking the ground hard.

Bloody hell, she thought dazed, I just got struck with a
potty!

A POTTY!

She was snapped out of her daze when a stream of
spear-ended chains flew at her head.

<YEOW!!!>

She sprung back to her feet, ignoring the pain, and
wondered what her enemy would become next. She'd been
thrown off guard and was tentative, not knowing what to
expect next from him. His version of Kinii of the Muscle
Sword Clan was nearly devastating, and his Happosai really,
_really_ made her MAD.

At the moment, his Mousse was making her panic. endless
chains and blades were something she did NOT like.

<BACK OFF, YA BLOODY FREAK!> Tanya reached into her
jacket and sent several soot bombs flying into 'Mousse'.
She grinned, seeing the bombs find their mark, and leapt
high, intending to dive into the soot cloud from directly
above with steel-wire broom spinning.

She jumped, reached the apex of her jump, prepared to
bring her broom down in several rapid radial strikes....

*BOING* <AAAW!>

... and bounced off of something massive.

She landed awkwardly a few feet away and stared at
some... some -thing- that was emerging from the clouds.
Small unidentifiable objects were swirling in and out of the
sooty depths in an almost insect-like manner. A sudden gust
of wind cleared the soot cloud, revealing the massive form
of the Dojo Destroyer.

<Aw bloody h->

*WHAM*

---

Kodachi kept her distance, lashing out with her ribbon
and a few occasional pin strikes. Ryouga deflected the pins
with his umbrella and retaliated with a few bandanna
projectiles of his own.

And then she changed her tactics.

Without warning, she charged at him, ribbon lashing at
him furiously. The ribbon left its mark on his face, arms,
and chest. He fell back, snapping open his umbrella for
cover.

Kodachi took advantage of his defensive stance and
flipped over him, glomping herself to his back in a -tight-
embrace.

It was proven to Ryouga at that moment beyond a doubt
that Kodachi's leotard was made of _very_ thin material.
That, and her bosom was indeed impressive.

"H-hey!"

"Mmmm, Ryouga darling, you're so tense," she purred into
his ear, running her hands along his chest. "Let me loosen
you up."

And then she wrapped her ribbon around his throat.

---

Natsumi advanced on Ryuu with lighting fast swipes of her
rugbeater staff, speedy enough to send dust and leaves
flying about and constantly in the air.

Ryuu was nimble enough to dodge her strikes, and puzzled
her with his lack of offense thus far.

It was mildly offending the Tendo girl.

"Why" -slash- "are" -slash-slash- "you"
-slash-slash-slash- "holding back for?!"

"Holding back?" asked Ryuu, taking a defensive jump back.
"I wasn't holding back. I was finding all your weaknesses."

Natsumi barely had time to dodge when Ryuu suddenly
barreled forward, feet first, surrounded by flaming spirals
of ki, yelling "RYUZANSHO!"

Landing some feet away, Natsumi turned around to see a
giant crater where Ryuu had landed, and him standing in the
middle of it. He pulled his arms back, then swept them both
forward, yelling, "RYUUKUSAI!" Two ki blasts, shaped like
blades, flew towards her.

Natsumi swung her staff with a cry of "SHINKUUZAN!" and a
swirling tornado whipped out from the rugbeater, colliding
with Ryuu's attack.

Unfortunately, the ki blasts cut right through it.

---

The only benefit of having Kodachi strangle him was that
it kept his mind off of her breasts pressing into his back
and hips grinding against his rear.

"G-get... off..." croaked Ryouga.

"That's what I'm trying to do, darling," said Kodachi.

"Gaaah!" Panic finally sent Ryouga an idea. He flipped
in the air, Kodachi still firmly attached to him, and
slammed back-first into the ground. He felt the ribbon
loosen and stumbled to his feet.

Planted firmly in the ground, knocked out, was Kodachi.
And she stayed down.

Ryouga breathed a sigh of relief.

---

The match between Tanya and Copycat Ken had suddenly and
dramatically turned around in momentum.

It began when Ken took the form of a certain
bandanna-clad boy.

<YOU!>

"Nani?"

<KIIIIIIIIIIIILL!!!>

And then it seemed Noori became unstoppable, with a bold,
fearless barrage of attacks right in Ryouga/Ken's face at a
speed his form couldn't keep up with.

Steel wire raked across flesh, soot bombs were slammed
into his face at point blank range, and to add to the utter
brutality of it all, she slammed a soot scraper in his
crotch.

Multiple times.

<KILL YOU, BLOODY SONOFABITCH!>

Ryouga/Ken staggered helplessly away, then fell to the
ground as his mysterious cloak enveloped him entirely.

<GET UP, YA BLOODY GIT!>

She reached down, pulled the cloak away, and froze.

It was Konatsu.

Bloody, brutalized, beaten Konatsu.

The Kunoichi looked up at Tanya with pleading eyes.
"Noori-sama... please don't..."

<K... Konatsu?>

Tanya reached down tentatively.

And then Konatsu suddenly lashed out with a lightning
quick and devastating kick to Tanya's skull.

The last thing Tanya saw, before fading into
unconsciousness was Konatsu's mocking, laughing face.

---

Meanwhile, back at the Ranma vs. Kujo match...

-CHOMP-

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!"

Daisuke whistled. "Man, never saw anyone get Ranma this
flustered."

"No kidding," said Hiroshi. "I've never even heard of
him BITING an opponent until now. Guess Kujo really got him
mad."

"PUNY BOY! LET GO OF MY ANKLE!"

---

Ukyou was breathing heavily, worn down by the very
frantic nature of the match. Across the battlefield, spears
and arrows were planted in the ground, trap doors were open,
and Kodachi's pet alligator was finally making its way back
into the outside pond where it belonged.

Somehow, Ryo didn't seem terribly fazed by the onslaught
of traps. Instead, he kept on being the aggressor, forcing
Ukyou to back away all the time. He met her spatula attacks
stroke for stroke, batted away the flour bombs, and used
his umbrella like a shield when she flung her spatula
shuriken at him.

It was feeling to her like a game of cat and mouse, and
she wasn't the cat. This smelled of a setup.

Ryo charged again, swiveling the umbrella in his hand in
a blur. Ukyou lashed out, but found her spatula caught by
the hook end of Ryo's umbrella. She tried to pull back
immediately but before she could, he spun, pulling the
spatula away while lashing out at her face with a kick. She
dodged the kick, but lost her spatula. It went spinning in
the air briefly, then was caught in Ryo's left hand.

He held Ukyou's weapon, smiling. His grip on the giant
spatula shifted slightly, shattering it into several pieces.

Ukyou turned pale. "My spatula!"

Ryo quietly laughed. The Kuonji girl relied far too much
on her giant spatula. Without it he doubted she was going
to be any trouble. Just might get the first submission of
the match.

"You're weaponless. Surrender?"

Definitely beaten, he thought.

She answered with a sudden and unexpected boot to the
head.

"BOOT TO THE HEAD!" yelled someone in the audience...

Ukyou was pleasant surprised as Ryo stumbled back a few
steps, almost falling. There was a barely audible click.

-WHAM-

And then the giant pineapple statue fell on him.

A few seconds passed. Ukyou blinked.

An unusual way to win, but she wouldn't mind.

//THE WINNER, BY KNOCKOUT, UK-//

The giant pineapple statue shattered violently, cutting
off the announcer. Chunks of concrete flew everywhere,
stinging Ukyou and causing everyone to look away, else their
eyes get struck by shrapnel.

Before Ukyou looked up again, something seized her by the
throat, lifted her into the air, and slammed her into the
ground face first. She yelled in pain, twitching slightly,
but hung on to consciousness. Annoying bright spots swam in
her vision as she tried to get up.

Then she felt something slam into her back, knocking the
wind out of her. She felt a hand around her neck, choking
her, then she was pulled swiftly up in the air.

She heard the telltale click of Ryo's umbrella and was
dimly aware of him staring into her eyes with anger and
hate.

"RYO! NO!"

Ukyou recognized that voice. Akari. Yelling from the
stands.

She wasn't sure, but she thought she heard him call Akari
a bitch.

Someone screamed.

Something hard slammed into her face.

The world went black.

---
------------ Wrapup -----------
---

Ryouga was beginning to worry. Ukyou was supposed to
meet him after their matches were done, but she seemed
awfully late. Who was she scheduled to fight this round?
He forgot to look it up. He didn't want to look it up. If
he walked over to the signboard with the listings he'd get
lost along the way and Ukyou would be upset and he wouldn't
see her for another week and that just wouldn't do...

"Hey sugar, sorry I'm late."

He blinked, looked around, and saw her behind him.

Why, he wondered, were there bandages on her head?

"Hey, what happened to you?"

"I got eliminated," sighed Ukyou, touching the side of
her head gently. She had a headache and just wanted to get
somewhere peaceful and relatively quiet (or lacking that, a
place with aspirin).

"By who?" She noticed the definite hint of anger in his
voice.

"Ryo Muhoshin."

"Why that-" Ryouga's anger was brought to a sudden halt
at the gentle touch of Ukyou's hand on his arm.

"Hey, remember what we talked about before the tourney
began?" she asked softly. Truth was, she still wasn't
recovered from her fight and didn't have enough energy to
yell at him.

She'd be damned if she was going to show any signs of
weakness to him, though.

"Well, yeah."

"Didn't I tell you I knew what I was getting into?"

"But-"

"Hey, nobody's dead and I just got a little roughed up.
I've felt worse. Really."

"Well... okay," said Ryouga reluctantly "But maybe you
should see a doctor first? You still look a little dazed."

She smiled ever so faintly. "I'm fine, let's just go."

"You sure? I mean, if you want I could carry you on my
back."

She smirked and jokingly swatted his arm away. "Idiot.
C'mon, Ranchan and the others are waiting."

---

"Hrmm." Ranma peered to the left, then the right, and to
the left again. He pounded fist on palm and nodded sagely.
"Separated at birth, definitely."

"SHUT UP, RANMA!" echoed Ryouga and Ryuu.

Akane applied a swift and firm elbow to Ranma's side.

Ranma held his hands up in a sign of surrender. "Hey,
just joking!"

This seemed to pacify the bandanna-clad duo, as they both
grumbled, giving him one last evil glare before they turned
their attention elsewhere. Ryouga looked idly at the
television screens while Ryuu chatted with Natsumi most
enthusiastically about martial arts.

Meanwhile, Kurumi was looking glum since her Prince Toma
was away on some personal matters he had to attend to. She
was glaring daggers at Ryuu, and irritated that Natsumi
wasn't paying much attention to her.

"Heard ya got eliminated today," Ranma said to Ukyou.
"You okay?"

Ryuu complimented Natsumi on her speed and sharpness of
form. Natsumi complimented Ryuu on his impressive use of
ki. Kurumi blew Ryuu a raspberry, but was easily ignored.

"Yeah, Ranchan, I'm fine," said Ukyou, waving her hand
casually in dismissal.

Ryuu took Natsumi's hand and brushed a bandage that was
put across her hand. He asked if she wasn't hurt too badly.
Natsumi blushed slightly and said she was quite fine, thank
you.

Kurumi huffed.

"What happened to you, Ranchan?" asked Ukyou. "You look
like you had it worse than me."

Ryouga grinned. "Yeah, tell us about your match, Ranma.
Especially that all-powerful Anything Goes Ankle-Biter
Technique?" Ryouga had heard, from word of mouth, how
Ranma's match went, and was too glad to rub it in his face.

"SHUT UP, RYOUGA!"

"HAHAHAHA!"

"Ranchan, what's he talking about?" asked Ukyou.

"She's gonna find out sooner or later, Ranma," said
Ryouga smugly. "So, you going to tell her or me?"

"I will, okay! Sheesh. You'd probably tell it all wrong
anyway."

"I'd just say what happened. Lots of bi-"

"HEY!"

"Okay, enough with the dramatics. Just tell me what
happened?" asked Ukyou again.

"Ibittheguy," he mumbled.

"What was that? Couldn't hear you," said Ukyou.

"Yeah, Ranma, say that again?" teased Ryouga.

"I bit the guy, okay?" said Ranma angrily. "You happy
now?"

"Bit him on the ankle," added Ryouga.

"Hey man, it was a tough fight!"

"Sure, Ranma, riiiight," said Ryouga.

"He bit me first!" yelled Ranma.

Ukyou frowned. "He did? Ew."

"On Ranma's butt," filled in Akane.

Ukyou and Ryouga burst out laughing. Ryuu and Natsumi
were in a world of their own. Kurumi was doing her best to
destroy that world.

Ranma glared at his fiancee. "Akane! What'd ya go and
tell'em for?!"

"Oh please, they'd have found out sooner or later," said
Akane. "If we hadn't arrived here first they'd have seen
it."

"Seen what?" asked Ukyou.

Akane looked at Ranma. "C'mon, show it."

"No way!" protested Ranma.

"C'mon, Ranchan, let's have a look," teased Ukyou.

"Come on, it's not that bad," soothed Akane.

Ranma scowled. He stood up and turned around, revealing
two distinct bitemarks. One was a nasty set of rips along
his arm, the other was a definite big chomp to his left
posterior cheek. Through the holes, his boxers and some
bandages were visible.

"Happy now?" asked Ranma grumpily.

"Yes dear," said Akane, smirking.

"Hey, Ranma, that was two bites he got on you?" asked
Nabiki, not bothering to look up from her laptop.

"Um, yeah."

"How many bruises?" asked Nabiki.

"What?"

"Just answer the question. How many bruises?"

"A dozen, I think."

"Damn. Cuts?"

"Three. Nabiki, why a-"

"How many minutes was the match?"

"It w-"

"Nevermind, got it here. Fifteen minutes thirty-two
seconds. Damn."

"Huh?"

"Did the guy break your... no, never mind, it's obvious
your nose isn't broken. Whew! Dodged a bullet there."

"Nabiki, why are you asking me this stuff?"

"Your injuries are part of a gambling pool. Just needed
to confirm'em."

"WHAT?!"

From across the room, Hiroshi could faintly be heard
crying. "Everything but the broken nose! So close!"

"Cheer up, man," said Daisuke. "We can still recover
from this."

Ukyou took a moment to glare angrily at a certain slim,
arrogant figure that was seated across the cafe, cozying up
in a couch with a certain pig-obsessed girl. She was very
much worried about Akari's welfare.

---

"What's that on your tie, Ryo-kun?" asked Akari.

"Hm? This?" He put down the small stack of paper he was
reading over and examined his tie briefly. "I think it's a
little bit of Miss Kuonji's blood."

Akari 'eep'ed and turned away, repulsed by the sight of
blood. "Ryo! You shouldn't wear it now!"

He gave her a questioning glance. "But this is my
favorite tie."

"But it has... that's... Ryo, please?" asked Akari.
"Please?"

"Geeeh." He narrowed his eyes, mumbled under his breath
for a moment, then removed the tie. "Anything for you,
dear," he said with a forced smile.

"Thank you, Ryo-kun," said Akari. "I wanted to ask..."

"Hm?"

"Did you have to be so rough with Ukyou today?"

"Rough? Because of you I fought without use of my blade.
I'd say I held back."

"But you hit her head several times... violently...
well..."

"Your point?" he asked.

"Did you have to be so violent in the match?"

"Yes," he replied simply.

"But-"

"Akari, dear, we're martial artists. We expect this sort
of thing."

"But-"

"Darling, relax. It's normal. Really."

Akari sighed. "Well, if you say so." She sat back
again, putting her head on his shoulder and lazily read over
the paper he was reading.

"Ryo?"

"Hm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"What's that you're reading?"

"Oh, this?" he asked, waving the paper slightly. "A list
of the remaining fighters in the tournament. See? There's
Saotome, Kumon, Hibiki, Magical Girl... aheheh... Kuruma.
Aheheheh."

Akari frowned. "Magical Girl Kuruma? Ryo, what's so
funny?"

"She's pathetic, that's all. Aheheheh. Ah. Nevermind."
He shuffled through the papers more, 'hmm'ing every now and
then.

"Why are you looking at all this?" asked Akari.

"Know thy enemy, Akari," said Ryo sagely. "Best way to
prepare. Oh, look at this one, PANTYHOSE Taro. What a
name, eh?" Ryo laughed slightly while Akari frowned again.

"That's his name?" asked Akari.

"Seems to be," said Ryo gleefully. "Either that or he's
quite a pervAAAAK!"

Ryo Muhoshin found himself lifted up in the air, by a
single arm, belonging to a very irate young man in Chinese
clothing.

"Watch your mouth, skinny," said the man solemnly.

Ryo blinked, still dazed from the sudden change in
altitude. Then he noticed something: the person who was
currently responsible for his sudden change of altitude
seemed to have a very peculiar sash.

"Say," he said, looking at it. "Is that a pantyhose sash
you're wearing?"

"So what if it is?" growled the other.

Ryo met the other's glare with a maniacal stare of his
own. "Would your name happen to be... PANTYHOSE?!
HAHAHAHAHAAA"

His umbrella was just within reach, leaning on the couch.

He reached for it.

From across the room, King frowned. "TAKE IT OUTSIDE,
YOU TWO!"

---

Ukyou stood up slightly, peering at something that was
happening across the room. "Uh oh."

"Uh oh what?" asked Ryouga.

"Trouble."

"What kinda of trouble?" asked Ranma, also standing up
slightly, although wincing from the bites.

"Looks like we might have a brawl break out. Look." She
pointed across the room, where someone was holding Ryo up by
the collar of his shirt.

"Damn," said Ryouga. "Him."

Ranma nodded and narrowed his eyes. "Taro."

"Who?" asked Ukyou.

"Pantyhose Taro," said Ranma. "Tough fighter. Jusenkyou
cursed too."

Ryouga nodded. "Looks like he's about to start something
with-"

Before he could finish, Ryo started laughing maniacally.

-CRASH-

Taro tossed him through the window.

"Brawl it is," said Ukyou.

Ranma and Ryouga sat back down.

Akane looked a bit confused, then shrugged.

"What're you guys doing?" asked Ukyou.

"Taro's a jerk, Muhoshin's a jerk," said Ryouga. "We
shouldn't interfere."

In the distance, thunder rumbled.

"Sounds like rain," observed Ryouga.

"Really? This is gonna be messy," said Ranma.

"Why's that?" asked Ukyou.

"When Taro gets wet, he turns into a big..."

"Really big," added Ryouga.

"... yeah, really big bull-like monster."

Ukyou blinked. "He fell into a spring of drowned bull?"

"Nope," replied Ryouga. "He fell into a spring of
drowned... um... what was it?"

"Drowned yeti-riding-a-goat-while-holding-a-crane-and-an-eel,"
answered Ranma.

Ukyou stared at them. "You're kidding."

"Nope," they both said.

Ukyou tapped her foot for a moment, then frowned when she
saw Akari make her way to the front door.

"Someone's gotta stop that girl from getting in trouble,"
Ukyou muttered.

---

She wondered why Ryo had to be so... mean at times. It
was hard for her to believe he was the same person that was
always sweet and kind to her.

After Ryo sailed through the window and Taro stomped to
the door, Akari sighed, stood up, and took a few steps to
the door.

Then she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey," said Ukyou. "You should be more careful. A girl
like you might get hurt when people like those two get in a
brawl."

"But-"

"If things get out of control, I'll get the guys to help.
But if there's one thing I learned in my life, it's that a
martial artist really hates it when their fight gets
interrupted."

---

Ryo landed on his back, outside on the sidewalk, but
recovered nicely with a roll and was back on his feet.

He was in trouble.

He didn't have his umbrella.

As Taro stormed out of the front, Ryo dug in his pockets
and quickly put on his leather gloves. Not as good as
umbrella, but better than nothing.

He could have backed down.

He could have apologized.

He'd been given the lovey-dovey treatment by Akari for
the last month, been denied the opportunity to go full-out
against the Kuonji girl, and desperately needed to maim
someone. Anyone.

Even if the odds were a little bad at the moment.

"Come on, PANTYHOSE!" he spat.

Behind Taro, a small crowd spilled out into the street to
watch the match. Akari was there, looking very worried and
accompanied by Ukyou.

Taro roared in blind rage and charged. Ryo stood his
ground. The two threw a furious round of punches and kicks
at each other. Ryo managed to land only a few, with Taro
dodging gracefully from most of his strikes. Ryo was struck
with a good number of Taro's punches, but seemed only to
sneer more with each blow.

In truth, those punches hurt, but he wasn't about to show
it.

Finally, Ryo went for his 'trademark' move of the
tournament so far. Ignoring the half-dozen quick and
powerful punches that landed on his chest and made his lungs
crumple, he reached forward and grabbed Taro's neck in an
iron grip.

Ryo lifted Taro up in the air, prepared to slam him into
the ground, then reeled back as Taro's foot slammed into his
jaw.

He refused to let go.

Then Taro kicked him again.

This time he let go, clutching at his face and staggering
in pain.

And once again he found himself lifted up by his collar,
staring into Taro's enraged eyes.

High above, stormclouds brewed. A streak of lightning
ripped across the sky. Both looked up.

Taro began to laugh.

Ryo could hear Akari call out his name. He really hoped
she wouldn't interrupt.

"What's so funny, PANTYHOSE?" snapped Ryo. Sure, he was
in pain, but again, there was no way he was going to let
Pantyhose know it.

Ryo wondered why Taro was just standing there and
laughing.

Then it began to rain.

---

From inside the cafe, Ranma and company heard the crowd
outside shriek in terror.

"Think it started raining yet?" asked Ryouga.

There was a monstrous roar, shaking the glass in the
building.

"I think so," said Ranma.

---

A large amount of the crowd that was watching scattered.

Akari was screaming for Ryo and was being held back by
Ukyou, who could only do that and stare in disbelief.

"They weren't kidding," she managed to mumble.

Ryo was shocked.

Speechless, really.

It seemed his adversary had suddenly turned into a
titanic minotaur-esque creature, taller than the cafe they
had just recently exited. Even worse, he was being held
tightly in the monster's fist.

That wasn't quite right.

No, that was impossible.

"Erah..."

The creature seemed amused, and snickered in a bull-esque
sort of way.

Ryo blinked. "You... you're Taro?"

The thing seemed to grin. It had really big teeth.

The old Muhoshin wit finally came back to him.

"So," said Ryo, finally back to looking snide, "how did
this occur? Your mother get too friendly with the
livestock?"

Taro roared angrily, causing the remaining few of the
crowds to cover their ears. A few windows broke. Car
alarms went off.

Ryo grinned, reaching down swiftly with his hands.
"Die."

The next thing Taro experienced, to his shock and total
surprise, was a fair amount of pain as his fingernails
exploded. His hand opened in reaction to the pain and Ryo
landed neatly at Taro's feet.

Muhoshin grinned as he landed. The monster had hooves.

Perfect.

As quick as a snake, Ryo reached out.

---

"You think Taro's done beating Ryo into the ground?"
asked Ryouga.

"Still lotsa noise coming from out there," observed
Ranma. "Where'd Ucchan go?"

"To make sure Akari didn't get in trouble," said Ryouga.
"Hope she's all right." After a few minutes of tapping his
feet, he stood up. "I'm going out there."

"As long as she doesn't try to butt in on the fight,"
said Ranma. "I don't see why..."

He was distracted as a roar bellowed out again. This
time, however, something was different.

Ranma frowned. "That... kinda sounded like Taro was
hurt, didn't it?"

"Yeah," said Ryouga. "I wonder wha-"

Ryo, dripping wet, stormed back into the cafe, grabbed
his umbrella, and stormed back out.

"What the heck is going on out there?" asked Ranma.

"Well, let's find out."

---

Twirling his umbrella quickly, Ryo strolled by a
horrified Akari, paused, said to her, "This will just be a
minute," then stomped over to the hobbled beast.

"You son of a bovine-screwing wench, GET UP!" Ryo looked
down at the collapsed form of Taro, his feet reduced to two
bloody unusable stumps.

"Come on, PANTYHOSE!" taunted Ryo. He held his umbrella
up and a rapier-like end sprang out of it. Ryo stomped
around Taro and slashed at his limbs whenever Taro tried to
lash out at him. The rain still fell, mixing with Taro's
blood to make a muddy red bog of mud under Taro's form.

"PANTYHOSE! HA!" Ryo strode within Taro's arm reach,
then lashed out with his umbrella as Taro's hand lumbered
out to swat him. Five more fingernails exploded.

Taro roared in pain.

Ryo began to laugh.

"Ryo, that's enough. Please?" said Akari timidly.

Muhoshin ignored her completely.

"Get up, COW! GET UP!"

Ryo stomped again towards what was left of Taro's hooves
and gave them several swift kicks. Taro reacted with
violent thrashing and a bellow of pain and rage.

"HA! HA! FEEL THAT?!"

And then Ryo grinned like the devil.

"How could I forget the HORNS? HA!" He stomped around
again, easily avoiding Taro's flailing limbs, but was unable
to get past them so as to detonate Taro's horns.

"He's beat okay?" said Ukyou. "Stop already!"

Ryo didn't bother to turn around. "Why, Kuonji, you talk
as if it was human."

"It is," said Ukyou firmly. "True martial artists don't
pick on the weak."

"Whatever," dismissed Ryo. He turned his attention back
to Taro, who was trying to rise to his knees. "Don't you
know when to stop moving?" he spat. The umbrella made a
mechanical noise, and the rapier-like tip was replaced with
a blade. "If I have to cut your arms off first, I will!"

He reared back, getting ready to slash.

A hand grabbed his, stopping the slash.

"That's enough."

Ryo narrowed his eyes.

He turned around.

Hibiki was holding him back. Behind him, Ranma, Ukyou,
Ryuu, Natsumi, and Kurumi stood ready.

"Hibiki, tell everyone to stay out of my recreation."

"You've beaten him, that's enough," said Ryouga firmly.

"Ryo-kun, please, let's go?" asked Akari, clearly shaken
by what just happened.

Ryouga tightened his grip on Ryo's hand. They both knew
Ryo wouldn't be able to break that hold.

The blade snapped back into the umbrella.

"Fine," hissed Ryo. With disturbing abruptness, he
quickly moved his hair back into place with his hands, wiped
off the blood on his face with a handkerchief, popped open
his umbrella (despite the fact that he was already drenched
from the rain) and smiled a pleasant, warm, smile at Akari.
"Let's go, dearest."

With Akari by his side, Ryo walked away whistling
happily. Ukyou stared at them both and frowned deeply. She
-had- to convince Akari to leave him before things got bad.

Ranma stared at the mess Taro was. His fingers and feet
were bleeding steadily, and he was afraid to guess at how
much of Taro's feet would be gone when they poured hot water
on him.

"Damn... this is a mess." Ranma looked to Akane. "Go get
Dr. Tofu."

---

"WAI-HHYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

*POW*

"GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooowwwwwwf!"

*SPLASH*

"WAI! Like that?!!" asked Kyoko, beaming happily.

Soun smiled, a tad nervously, and nodded. "That... was
very good, Kyoko-chan. Yes... very good."

"Wai! Waiwaiwai!" The little girl hopped around with
glee and far more energy than Soun felt humans should be
with.

She was still bouncing around.

He was tired.

Saotome was unconscious.

"That's... all for today Kyoko-chan."

"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Okaaay. Foo."

The two bowed respectfully to each other, but with Soun
keeping a wary eye on the girl. Afterwards, they entered
the house, welcomed by Kasumi's call to dinner, the smells
of yet another Kasumi Tendo feast, and the sight of a small
gathering of young martial artists...

"Why, Ranma?! Why couldn't ya let the guy break your
nose?" *SOB*

"Aw, cut it out Hiroshi!"

"Akaaaaaaaaneeeeeeeee-neesaaaaaan!"

Akane had little time to react before she was bowled over
by a charging Kyoko, tumbling slightly along the floor.
Fortunately, she was sitting down already, so it wasn't that
bad of a tumble.

"Hyperactive little bundle, isn't she?" noted Ukyou.

Soun soon followed and joined the rest at the table.
"So, how was the tournament today? My little girl still
going strong?" He laughed and gave a warm smile to Akane,
who returned it with a halfhearted smile of her own.

"Sorry, dad. I... was beaten today."

Kyoko gasped. "Akane-neesan lost???" Her big brown eyes
began to well up with tears, showing promise to rival Soun's
legendary bawls.

Soun looked somewhat melancholy for a moment, then gave
Akane a solemn look. "The path of a true martial artist
is one filled with adversity, but so long as you tried your
best, you have nothing to be ashamed of."

"Y'think he's gonna burst out in tears?" whispered
Hiroshi to Daisuke.

"Bet you he won't," whispered Nabiki.

"You're on."

"Well, I did try the best I could," said Akane
tentatively. She knew what was coming. So did everyone else.

"I'm so proud of my little girl!" Soun wrapped Akane in
an affectionate hug and his eyes threatened to burst into
tears.

Hiroshi and Nabiki held their breaths.

"Daaaaaaad," said Akane, in that 'Daaaaaad' way that
said, basically, 'I'm getting embarrassed'.

Soun released Akane, wiping a small tear from his eye.
Immediately after, Kyoko resumed her glomp, her good humor
restored. "WAIIIIII! AKAAAAAAANEEEEE-NEEEESAAAAAN!!!"

"Aak!" *THUD*

"Ha! Waterworks!" hissed Nabiki to Hiroshi.

"You call that waterworks?!" hissed Hiroshi back. "That
was just a drop!"

---

Taro was mad.

Sitting in Dr. Tofu's clinic, fingers and feet bandaged,
anesthetic running through his veins to dull the throbbing
pain and numb his mind, Pantyhose Taro still felt rage.

Finally, a chance to get a REAL name, a chance that he
had a REAL shot at, crushed by some anonymous jerk! How
DARE he!!!

"Tough luck, Pantyhose."

Taro was too tired to try and smash him. A tired,
resigned, "what the hell do you want?" was what he said
instead.

"Tsk tsk tsk, you sound so defeated," said Happosai,
jumping out from the window and by Taro's bed. "That's no
way for a martial artist to talk."

"Shut up, old man, I'm not in the mood for it tonight."

"How bad's the damage?"

"Fingers are okay, just bruised and bleeding a little.
Minor cuts on my arms. Bones in my toes are fractured or
broken. I won't be walking for a while."

"I see, I see," said Happosai, nodding sagely. "That
kid's more vicious than I though. Didn't think he had it in
him."

In a voice that expressed a promise of painful, fiery,
bloody vengeance, Taro asked:

"Who?"

"Hm?"

"Who was he?"

"Ryo Muhoshin, a more recent addition to the
neighborhood." Happosai took a long drag from his pipe, then
blew a few smoke panties. Wistfully, he watched them drift
away. "Just what an old man like me needs to keep his edge,
don't you think?"

"Is... is that all we are to you?" asked Taro, his voice
slurred a bit. The sedatives, he observed, were finally
hitting hard. "Just... just here to... amuse you?"

"When you've lived as long as I have, you end up with
interesting hobbies."

"So... my name stays... Pan... er... as it is now?"

Happosai mulled it over briefly. "Hrm. Yes, I guess
so."

"Damn."

"Well, try again next year, hm?"

"Next... year?"

"Yes, the next King of Nerima tournament! You WILL be
there, won't you?"

"The same... deal?"

"Of course."

"Count on it."

---

There was a noticeable chill in the air that suddenly
swept the Tendo home. It began after the door opened. Of
course, Kasumi didn't notice it.

"Muhoshin-san, hello!"

"Good evening, Kasumi-san."

Ryouga blinked. "She didn't just say..."

In from the hallway, following behind Kasumi, strode Ryo
Muhoshin. He still looked a bit soggy, with disturbing red
stains remaining on his shirt and his ever-present umbrella
tucked under his arm. The room fell silent and still, with
all eyes watching him carefully. Ranma and Ryouga tensed.
Ukyou scowled. Hiroshi, Daisuke, and Nabiki kept a careful
watch of his actions as well.

"Kyoko is done for the evening, yes?" asked Ryo.

"Yes, in fact she had dinner with us."

Ryo smiled an honestly warm and friendly smile. On his
face, it looked unnatural. "You're entirely too gracious,
Kasumi-san."

"Let me go get Kyoko-chan, I think she's in the dojo with
Akane."

The moment Kasumi left the room, Ryo's face snapped into
a cold, condescending, arrogant mask. He took a moment to
slowly look at each person in the room, examining them like
insects under glass.

"My, it seems quiet in here," he said mockingly. "You'd
think someone almost died."

More silence.

His sharp gaze focused on Ukyou and he strolled near her.
"How's things, Kuonji? I didn't hit you too hard, did I?"

Everyone in the room glared at him.

It was at this moment that a 12 year old bundle of
hyperactivity chose to shatter the mood.

"Oniiiiiiiiii-SAN!" *GLOMP*

"Awk!" -thud-.

Kyoko bounced up and down merrily, pouting prettily.
"Oniiiii-san! YoumissedKasumi-neesan's dinner!"

Still reeling slightly from the impact, Ryo blinked then
gave a non-descript stare to his sister. "Ah. My loss. Now
let me stand."

Kasumi entered, followed by Akane. Seeing the commotion,
Kasumi smiled and giggled. She always did so like happy
little children at play. "Oh my."

Akane, on the other hand, immediately frowned.

Kyoko beamed widely, wavewavewaving her hand with vigor
as she bounced merrily up and down on Ryo's chest. And the
bouncee...

Ryo's face shifted once again into that alien look of
actual normal human behaviour and politeness. He picked up
Kyoko and tucked her under an arm as he stood up. "Well,
we'll be taking our leave now. Come along, child."

"Okay, nii-san! Baibaibai!!!" Kyoko waved happily at
Kasumi and Akane as she was carried out.

After they left, Akane shook her head in disbelief. "How
can a girl like that be the younger sister of a jerk like
him?"

"Well, look at Kasumi and look at you," said Ranma
casually.

*WHAM*

"Ooooow..."

---

The walk, he was hoping, was going to be a peaceful,
quiet thing. With a child like Kyoko, Ryo should have had
lower hopes.

"Nii-san?" Kyoko tugged at his shirt.

"What?"

Kyoko pokepokepokepokepoked at his chest. "What's that
stuff? It's icky!"

Ryo winced a bit at being poked. "Blood, Kyoko. Dried
blood."

"Why? Wha'happened, nii-san?"

"I battled a large bull-thing and turned its feet into
bloody stumps."

"Oh." Kyoko blinked repeatedly for a moment. "So you
won?"

"Yes."

"Wai!"

"Wai indeed." Ryo took a deep breath. "Well, do you
have your analysis of the Anything Goes style ready?"

"Yes...! Want ice cream!"

"Er, what?"

"Ice cream!" Kyoko pointed at a Yojojimbo's 42 Flavors
ice cream parlor.

"Ice cream," said Ryo flatly.

"Mm-hm! Ice creaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam!"

"Right."

-a few minutes later-

"Happy now?"

Kyoko, with eyes wide and sparkling, looked happily at
her five-scoop ice cream cone. "Mm-hm!"

"Okay, now abou-"

"I'm tired."

"Eh? Tired?"

"Mm-hmmmmmm!"

Ryo frowned, then backed away with a slightly agitated
look on his face. "You are NOT going to ask me to..."

"Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaseeeeeeee, oniisan?"

"No."

"Pleeeeeeeeaseeeeeeeeee?"

"No.

"Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseple-"

"OKAY, OKAY, JUST STOP IT!"

-a moment later-

Ryo looked upwards with a scowl on his face. "Do NOT let
that ice cream drip on me. Understand?"

"Mm-hm!"

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"

"Yep! Yepyepyep!"

"Right."

This, in his mind, was not good. He had an image to keep
up. Ryo Muhoshin, the 'Dapper Destroyer' as the television
people were beginning to call him, giving his little sister
a ride on his shoulders? He would be terminally embarrassed.
Witnesses would have to be killed.

"Well, how did things go at the Tendo's today?" he asked.

"Went good!"

"Right. Learn anything interesting?"

"Mm-hm! The essential philosophy of the Anything Goes
School of Martial Arts!" she said proudly.

"Ah. Good. Tell me when we get home, I'm too tired to
listen now."

"Oh. Okay!"

They traveled through city blocks, quiet roads, and
serene bridges in silence. That was exactly what Ryo was
hoping for, and the ice cream served its purpose, keeping
her too busy to chatter away at hyper speed.

-splat-

"KYOKO."

"Oopsie. Sorry."

Well, there was a drawback, but...

-splat-

"AHEM."

"Oopsie!"

"Grrr..."

---

"Come away with me," said Prince Toma in a suave (well,
as suave as one can get with a squeaky pubescent voice)
manner. "You'll be the princess of my kingdom isle."

"Oh Toma," sighed Kurumi.

They held hands.

They embraced.

The bridge exploded under their feet and they tumbled
through the air for what seemed like an eternity until they
hit the water below.

"Why'dyadothat?" asked Kyoko, peering curiously over
the jagged edge of what was left of the bridge.

"Stress relief," said Ryo, twirling his umbrella, "just a
little stress relief. Feel much better now." He took a
moment to kick some rubble into the water as well, then
resumed his stroll.

"Oh. How'dya do inna tournament?" she asked.

"Did well."

"As usual?"

"As usual."

"Oh. Wai! Wai wai wai-"

"Yes yes yes, wai wai wai."

"Where's Akari-neesan?"

"Don't ask."

"Whynot? I don'tsee her a lot," she said, pouting. "You
don't let me talk to her enough."

"Oh my, really?"

"Mm-hm!"

"Oh well."

"Oniisan?"

"Hm?"

"Could you... um..."

"Say it."

"Could you sing that song for me?"

"_What_?"

"Sing the song you said Mommy used to sing. Wanna hear it
again."

He glared at her harshly. "No."

"Please?" She widened her eyes and pouted.

"No."

"Pleeease?"

"N... all right, but you have to analyze some extra
combat footage of Ranma and Ryouga for me, okay?"

"Okay. Sing!"

Ryo sighed.

He took a deep breath.

"Nobody had better be in earshot aside from you."

"Sing! Singsingsing!"

"Right. Sing."

"Wai!"

Ryo rolled his eyes up. "Wai me?"

"Hey!"

"Ah, right."

o/" Somewhere... beyond the sea...o/"
o/" Somewhere... waiting for me o/"
o/" My lover stands on golden saaaaaaaaands o/"
o/" and watches the ships that go saaaaaaaailing o/"

"Your turn."

Kyoko nodded happily, and belted out in a cheery voice:

o/" Somewhere... beyond the sea o/"
o/" She's there watching for me o/"
o/" if I could fly like birds on high o/"
o/" then straight to her arms I'd go saaaaaailing o/"

"Duet!" yelled Kyoko.

Ryo sighed. "Right, right."

And together they yowled...

o/" It's faaaaar, beyond the staaaaaars o/"
o/" It's neeeear, beyond the moon o/"
o/" I knoooooooow, beyond a doubt! o/"
o/" My heart will lead me there soon! o/"
o/" We'll meet, beyond the shore o/"
o/" Then we'll kiss, just as before o/"
o/" Happy we'll be beyond the seeeeeeeeeea
o/" and never again I'll go saaaaiiilin'. o/"

---

[Much later...]

At Ucchan's, Ryouga and Ukyou were lounging about Ukyou's
'living room', a small area big enough to fit one couch and
a large television. Both were seated on the couch at the
moment, Ryouga just watching while Ukyou munched on some
rice cakes, soda, and channel surfed as if born with the
talent.

"So, it's just me and him," said Ryouga quietly.

"Hm?" Ukyou wanted to say. However, with a mouth full
of rice cakes, it came out as "MMMF?"

"From the old days, I mean."

"Oh," she meant to say. Instead, it was, "MF."

"I mean, it used to be me, Ranma, and Mousse in the old
days."

"MF!"

"Oh yeah, of course, you, Akane and Shampoo too."

"Mf."

"I guess I just miss the way we all used to hang out
together, even if we were trying to kill each other."

"Mm?"

"I mean, sure we can visit Ranma and Akane any time, but
now it just feels... awkward. Don't you think so?"

"Mm."

"Was that a yes or no?"

"Mm."

"Um... one 'mm' for yes, two for no."

"Mm."

"Oh. Okay."

Ukyou finally swallowed and washed down the rice cakes
with a chug from the bottle of cola.

"Ah. Much better."

"I've never seen you eat like that before," said Ryouga.

Ukyou sighed and rested her chin in her palms. "I
haven't been beaten in a long while. Then again, I haven't
been in competition for a long while."

"You go on eating binges when you get depressed?" asked
Ryouga.

"Well, yeah. But thanks to a great natural metabolism I
haven't gotten chubby yet."

She sped through several more channels, then sighed and
stopped. "I was kinda hoping to actually win this thing,
even if there was Ranma at the end."

"Huh?"

"Ranma. C'mon, you know he always wins these things.
It's the way things seem to work around here. If it's got
martial arts and Ranma's in it, he'll win sooner or later."
She sunk into the couch and frowned. "It would've been nice
to win... at least once."

Ryouga looked grim for a moment, looking away and out the
window into the night sky.

"I'll beat him," he said quietly.

"Hm?"

"I'll win this. I beat him before, once."

"At what?"

"The Martial Arts Obstacle Race."

"Sugar, I hate to break it to ya, but this is gonna be a
lot harder than a race."

"You'll see," said Ryouga with grim determination.
"I'll win."

Ukyou smiled. "Well, good luck sugar. You'll need it."

-end part 2-

***SPOILERS***

WRITER'S NOTES:
The Big Index of Obscure Ranma 1/2 Characters
for the King of Nerima Tournament
----------------------------------------------------------

Copycat Ken (anime)
Physically, he's somewhat shorter than Ryouga, sporting a
white t-shirt, slacks, suspenders, and a red bandanna
draped over his head exactly like Genma. His specialty
is imitating other martial artists to an uncanny degree,
even taking on their physical appearance and voice. He
can 'morph' into other fighters when he pulls out a dark
green cloak and covers himself with it briefly, taking
only a second for the change to take place. He managed
to defeat Kuno, Mousse, Ryouga and Ranma once before, but
Ranma managed to tap into inner reserves and execute the
chestnut fist at a speed which Ken just couldn't match.

Ryuu Kumon: (MANGA/(anime?))

Many years ago, Genma offered a scroll containing the
secrets of his secret 'Yamasen-ken' technique to the
master of the Kumon dojo in exchange for some food. A
short while later, the Kumon dojo, with Kumon-san inside,
crashed to the ground. Ryuu Kumon, the son, blamed Genma
for the fall of the Kumon Dojo. He also mastered the
Yamasen-ken techniques, which were deadly enough to
defeat Ranma in combat. He posed as Ranma for a while to
get the complimenting style of martial arts, 'Umisen-ken'
from Ranma's mother. To defeat Ryuu, Ranma learned the
Umisen-ken and used it to defeat Ryuu Kumon, also making
him promise to never use the Yamasen-ken techniques ever
again. He's had an occasional mean streak, little
patience, but does have enough honor to be a man of his
word. In terms of martial arts skill, he gave Ranma a
run for his money, defeating him once. It'd be fair to
say that Ryuu is as good as anyone that's ever been a
Nerima martial artist.

Ebiten: (MOVIE1)
Short fellow that wields a fishing rod. Member of the 7
Lucky Gods Martial Arts Dojo.

Sarotoru: (MOVIE2)
Monkey-man that has the ability to force his opponents
into a state of severe depression via odd ki blast. Was
unfortunate enough to do this technique to Ryouga.

Kimiyasu Daitokuji (manga)
Master of Men's Rhythmic Gymnastics Martial Arts. Leader
of a team of gymnastics martial artists that challenged
Kodachi's team.

Pantyhose Taro (ANIME/MANGA)
boy that was baptized by Happosai many years ago.
Unfortunately, he was baptized in Jusenkyou, into the
spring of yeti riding a bull while carrying an eel and a
crane. He's been after Happosai, demanding that he
change his name. By tradition, only
the one that baptized Taro can change his name, so that
leaves only Happosai to do the job. He's been far from
willing to do that, feeling that Pantyhose is a perfectly
fine name. In human form he can hold his own against
Ranma, although the two have never had a definitive human
vs. human match before. At the most, they've fought
briefly with no definite outcome. In his cursed form Taro
is incredibly powerful, fully capable of taking any
challenger on... except Happosai.

-----------------------------------------------------------

misc.

Magical Girl Kuruma
made her first appearance in The Pursuit of Happiness
Act 1 part 2. She's a bit new at this magical girl thing...

Plasticite: Nobody important.

Masakari Kujo
made his first appearance as an april fools TPOH shortfic
written by Mike Loader. The guy was too good not to use,
so alas here he is now.

Sakamoto Rei: nobody important, really.