[Ranma][Fanfic] The Pursuit of Happiness - Act 3 prelude
RpM - acct4/5
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< > - English
<" "> - Chinese
// // - emitted from a P.S. system, telephone, or other
electric medium.
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===========================
The Pursuit of Happiness
ACT 3
Home
Prelude
Setting It Up
===========================
Several months ago....
He was feeling rather satisfied with himself at the
moment.
Several months ago, the Jusenkyou Guide did something he
rarely allowed himself to do. He treated himself. It was
the 30th anniversery of the time when he started his job as
The Guide. It was, he thought, an important moment in his
life. And so he went out and bought himself a Nissan
Pathfinder.
And accidentally (and tragically, of course) crashed it
into a spring.
Considering the amount of money involved in the matter,
he felt that yes indeed it was a GREAT tragedy. But then, a
funny thing happened. He'd spied a frog once, leaping
about. Frogs, in Jusenkyou, led a most alarming life in the
land of a little over a hundred springs (it had once been a
thousand, but there was a mistake done by the China
bureaucrats involving bypasses and road construction crews
which drastically cut down that number). One moment the
frog would leap into a spring, and a rather baffled goose
would attempt to croak (and a goose trying to croak, the
Guilde could tell you, was a very strange sound indeed) and
in it's panic leap into yet another spring. After that, it
would emerge as yet another animal, still behaving quite
frog-like, and repeat the pattern.
As stated before, he was once observing a frog leap
about, and watched as it dove into the spring where his car
had, technically, drowned. Nothing came out. His curiosity
piqued, the Guide strolled over and had a look. Submerged
and stuck deep within the spring was a Nissan Pathfinder.
How odd, he thought, did I not have my car towed away
already? With a scientific experiment in mind, the guide
carefully filled a cup with the water, strolled over to a
passing ant, and let the liquid drop.
Several months later, neighboring communities would often
spot the Guide driving with much reckless abandon across the
wilderness of China. The Amazons in particular were rather
annoyed and bluntly let him know about it, but things
changed when he made them an offer.
Several months after that, a large number of Nissan
Pathfinders were blazing their way through the wilds of
China, raising all sorts of hell, scaring the pandas out of
their wits, and making a general nuisance of themselves.
Nobody dared speak against them, though. The Amazon elders
didn't take criticism very well, especially when the subject
was their 'relaxation time'.
The Musk Dynasty was a tad miffed. They weren't included
in the deal.
The Mount Phoenix tribe didn't care, but had firmly
decllared that if one of those vehicles ever hit their
territory, they'd turn it into scrap.
Everyone in general agreed not to tell the government
about it, since nobody liked them anyway. Thus, the
legendary spring of drowned Nissan Pathfinder, Nissanichuan,
was kept as only that, a legend, carefully guarded by The
Guide and the Joketuzo Amazon tribe. Anybody else that came
to town wanting a free car was usually chased out by an
angry stampede of Pathfinders.
* * *
Much like she'd done for more years than the locals could
remember, Cologne was once again at the front of her abode,
sitting in a self-made rocking chair and watching the sun
rise.
Mornings in the village weren't what they used to be,
lamented Cologne. The occasoinal buzzing of Pathfinders was
certainly new, but since her fellow elders owned them there
wasn't much to say on the topic.
So much for ultra-conservatism.
She could have, if she wanted to, raised a fuss about the
matter. However, living in Japan with modern conveniences
had spoiled her a bit. She knew it did, but Cologne figured
she'd earned it. Besides, change was the natural order of
things, was it not? And so, did not her fellow elders earn
the right to their vehicles?
Cologne sighed. Mornings still didn't seem right like
this. It made the place feel quite a bit like Japan,
actually.
<"Mousse, you JERK!">
*WHAM*
Ah, yes, the newlyweds. They reminded her of Ranma and
Akane, very much so, especially the way Mousse was currently
a speck in the air, popped up there once again by a morning
kick from Shampoo.
Yes, sometimes it felt like she hadn't left Japan at all.
She eyed the airborn Mousse once more, calculating
trajectory, wind speed, and velocity. Then she took one
step to the left.
*WHAM*
<"Good morning, son-in-law.">
<"Grak.">
<"Things are going well with Shampoo, I see.">
<"Nng.">
<"Do us both a favor and try to stand up. As it is, I
feel ridiculous talking to someone whose head is plugged
into the ground.">
With some squirming, Mousse finally righted himself. He
took a moment to brush the dirt off of himself, stretch his
back, then finally took a seat at the front porch of
Cologne's hut.
<"There, that's better,"> said Cologne. <"She's still
bitter, eh?">
Mousse nodded, scowling and slumping forward.
<"Things aren't going according to plan, hm?"> asked
Cologne.
<"No, not really,"> replied Mousse flatly.
<"You thought it'd be a a happily-ever-after situation,
hm?">
Mousse nodded, staring off into the sunrise.
<"I suppose you could argue that what you did to get
Shampoo's hand in marriage was nothing as bad as any of the
attempts Shampoo made at tricking Ranma into wedlock,"> said
Cologne. <"So you'd figure Shampoo would be a bit
understanding about things.">
<"Yup.">
<"And of course, you're learning you're entirely wrong.">
<"Yep.">
Cologne sighed and took a long drag from her pipe. <"You
know, as village elder, I could have the whole thing
nullified.">
Mousse blinked. <"You what?">
<"Cancelled. Ended. Rendered void.">
<"But what about village law?"> asked a surprised Mousse.
<"It is village law. We just don't like to point it out.
Keeps the divorce rates low, you see.">
<"If that's so, why didn't you nullify our engagement
earlier? I thought you'd-">
<"Mousse, I've been patient about things, even though
you're not nearly the fighter Ranma is. You ARE, however,
one of the better fighters around, and you and Shampoo have
been friends for a long time. I thought there was a chance
of things working out for the best, but it is apparent this
is not the case.">
<"I just don't understand,"> lamented Mousse. <"I
thought that, deep down, maybe she really...">
<"Perhaps you should take a trip,"> suggested Cologne.
<"Take time to clear your mind and such.">
Mousse looked at her strangely. <"Why all the advice,
old ghoul?">
*WHAP*
<"Watch your language, slacker-boy. I'm advising you
because I want my granddaughter to be happy. And I want you
to take another look at your situation.">
<"Take a trip, huh?"> Mousse mulled the idea over.
<"Maybe I will. Who knows, maybe Shampoo will miss me.">
Cologne rolled her eyes. <"Anything is possible, I
suppose.">
* * *
Here and now....
* * *
Hiroshi and Daisuke, social commentators of Nerima, sat
back and enjoyed the fine morning that was unfolding before
them at the front of Furinkan High.
"Ayep, there's Kuno," said Hiroshi, pointing to the
kendoist as he emerged from the front doors.
Daisuke looked at his watch. "The Ranma express oughta
be here in a few minutes. We got time."
Hiroshi held out a can. "Cola?"
"Sure. Thanks."
They both popped open their cans at the same time, took a
chug, then sat back and sighed.
"Things are back to normal, it seems," noted Daisuke.
"As normal as normal gets 'round here," added Hiroshi.
"But of course."
"Hey, the red express is in early," said Hiroshi,
pointing to Ranma as he and Akane walked leisurely to
school. This time, however, there was a third person
joining them. Hanging on to Akane's arm was a smiling,
energetic 12 year old with long brown hair.
"What's Kyoko Muhoshin doing with'em?" asked Daisuke.
Hiroshi cast a sideward glance at his friend. "You
haven't heard?"
"Heard what?"
"She's the new student at the Tendo Dojo."
Daisuke blinked. "Huh. Still can't think of that kid as
a martial artist. It's weird enough that she's in high
school."
"Whoop, Blue Thunder's spotted the Red Express. Here
goes the collision."
They watched as Kuno brandished his bokken, said
something particularly archaic and noble, then charged at
Ranma.
"You put in a bet with Nabiki on today's outcome?" asked
Daisuke.
"A little. No sense in blowing the cash we raked in
during the King of Nerima tourney betting, eh?"
"True. So what'cha think?"
"Kuno gets one swing in, Ranma dodges low and gives'em a
pop-up kick that shoots'em over the fence."
Meanwhile, Kuno continued his charge across the school
grounds, bokken held high. As expected, Ranma handed his
school bag to Akane, then turned to face the approaching
kendoist.
For once, he was too late.
Kyoko got there first.
"Hi there!"
Kuno stopped short, thrown off by the little girl
standing in her way. He looked at her as one would look at
abstract art, with lots of blinking and a general sense of
unfamiliarity.
"Good morning, child," said Kuno pleasantly.
"What'cha doin?" she asked.
"I am preparing to smite the villianous Saotome," he
said, pointing his bokken at Ranma. "It would be best if
you stood away, as our battles are most turbulent. It would
not be safe, I think, for a young one such as you to be near
when the battle rages."
"Oh." Kyoko looked left and right for a moment, the
smile gone from her face replaced with a flat, unemotional
look.
Then she smiled again.
"I'm Kyoko," she said brightly. "Who're you?"
Kuno seemed a bit surprised at the question. "Who am I?
I am the great Tatewaki Kuno, unequalled Kendo champion and
the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!"
Thunder rumbled in the distance.
"It's damn cool how he does that," said Daisuke.
Kyoko tugged at Kuno's sleeve. "Martial artist?" she
asked.
"I am indeed," replied Kuno.
"Okay!"
Without warning, she grabbed him by the arm and hurled
him into the air, across the school grounds, and into a
fourth floor classroom.
The morning audience was speechless.
"Damn, I didn't see THAT coming," said Hiroshi.
* * *
Meanwhile, up in the fourth floor...
Nabiki took a seat next to the rumpled form of Tatewaki
Kuno, currently resting with his head smashed slightly
"Heya, Kuno-chan. Feeling okay?"
"Nng."
"I see you've met Kyoko-chan. Energetic little rugrat,
isn't she?"
"Nng."
"Yeah, I know, that habit of hers can be a little
annoying. Look at it this way, you've arrived early for
your first class."
"Nng."
* * *
Ryouga tapped his foot impatiently on the ground.
They were going to be late. Where the heck was Ukyou?
He knew that he'd get hopelessly lost if he tried to get to
school on his own.
Actually, he'd tried at least getting to the front door,
and had miraculously only gotten to the restaurant area
instead of Guam.
"Hey! Ukyou!"
"Hold on, dammit!" she replied from... somewhere.
"We're gonna be late!"
"I know! I know! Just wait a minute!"
A moment later, a girl wearing a Furinkan High school
uniform stepped into the room, looking a bit embarrassed.
"C'mon, let's go," she said.
Ryouga blinked.
"Well? What're you waiting for?" the girl asked,
frowning.
"Um... do I know you?"
"It's me, moron!" She stared at him, noting the utter
lack of comprehension. "Ukyou! Me! Ukyou!" she said as
she pointed to herself. "Understand?"
He blinked again. "Ukyou?"
"Yeah. What're you staring at?" she asked moodily.
"You're not wearing your school uniform," he said simply.
Ukyou adjusted the dress and shirt a bit, clearly
uncomfortable. "Yeah, I know."
"Um, why?"
"I dunno. Just felt like something different today."
She noticed he was still staring at her oddly and shot him
anothere deadly gaze. "Something wrong?"
"You look like... er... a girl."
"That was the idea, yeah," she replied dryly. "Looks
that awful, huh?"
"N-no. I'm just not used to seeing you... you know...
like that."
She fumbled a bit more with the bow on her collar, then
sighed. "Forget it, this is stupid. I'll just go change
again."
"I think it looks okay," said Ryouga.
Ukyou hesitated. "You think it looks nice."
"Well, yeah."
"Seriously."
Ryouga nodded. "Yeah."
"Oh."
"It is... different... for you, thought."
She shrugged. "Yeah, well, I just felt like trying a
little change."
*riiiiing*riiiiing*
Ukyou stared at the phone.
"You want me to get that?" asked Ryouga.
*riiiiing*riiiiing*
"Ukyou?"
"Wha? Huh?"
"The phone?"
*riiiiing*riiiiing*
She frowned. "No, leave it to the answering machine.
Let's get outta here."
As they left, it occurred to Ryouga that they didn't have
an answering machine, but by then it was too late.
* * *
Hiroshi peered out in the distance and hmmed. "There's
the newest unofficial couple en route now."
"Ryouga and Ukyou?" asked Daisuke.
"Yep."
"Remind me a bit of the way Ranma and Akane used to be."
"Yep."
"Except there's nothing like an engagement between those
two."
"Nope."
"And they don't quite bicker as passionately as Ranma and
Akane."
"Not quite, no."
"But they are livin'in sin."
"Ye- WHAT?!"
"Just kidding, my man," said Daisuke. "Though it is
interesting that he's shacked up with her, eh?"
"Well, gotta admit, if he lived on his own he'd be lost
all the time. Not much of a life, that," said Hiroshi.
"Yep."
"Say, has Ukyou been kidnapped yet?" asked Hiroshi.
"Heard that Muhoshin fella did, a while back," replied
Daisuke.
"Really? Huh."
"All they need now is some more wacky hijinks, probably
with parents involved, and a big life-and-death adventure."
"Yep. Or maybe some amusing martial arts type
competition, like Martial Arts Bowling, will come to pass
and all will become wrapped up in the wacky hijinks."
"Think it's gonna happen?" asked Hiroshi.
"Probably."
"Ah, well, the more things change..."
"The more they stay the same."
- end prelude -