[Ranma/Xover][FanFic] The Bet: Reluctant Bet segment 18 "Here's..."

[Gregg Sharp]

Reluctant Bet 18 "Here's Ranma, and Belldandy, and Urd, and
Ranko, and Longreach, and Furball, and Makoto, and Shan..."

>That title's too long, try something shorter with the
"Reluctant" theme.

Reluctant Bet 18 "Reluctant Opponent"

Disclaimer: some scenes and characters written by other
people.

--------------------------

Jared was listening to an earpiece, while behind him a
slightly charred panda bear stood muzzled and in chains
(mighty, mystical, mithril mook-locks with the optional
pickproof attachment and anti-shapeshifter bindings), and
the girls stood nicely dressed all around him.

Actually Genma had been rather quiet after he had been dug
out of the street. He had a fair sense of self-preservation,
honed by years under the Master. That sense had told him
that the red-haired bodybuilder with the hammer was quite
capable of killing him in what would likely be a very
violent fashion, and not feel the slightest bit of remorse.

Genma was not used to the idea that there were bigger and
badder fish in the ocean than the late unlamented Master
Happosai. The thought that there WERE such individuals, and
that one of them was a COUSIN of that Belldandy woman...

The more Genma thought about it, the more he thought Ranma
and Belldandy made a good couple.

Jared wasn't listening to Genma's thoughts, otherwise he'd
have been in shock by now. "Hang on a minute, he's got them
together. It'll be time now in a moment."

Makoto sighed, wishing that timing were not THAT important.
But the error light had come back on again when they'd tried
to knock earlier.

Jared adjusted his embroidered shirt, remembering Rule
Seven: 'In all cases, Ranma will adapt to suit (and here
Akane had been crossed out, like in the rest of the book, to
be replaced by the words) the favored fiancee.'

Belldandy in that role let him get away with sophistication
that the real Ranma rarely ever had. Though he still had to
complain about it every so often - it was in the rules.

"So how'd you bug their house, anyway?" Urd, bored, was
staring up the street at passing traffic.

"Didn't need to. A phone consists in part of a microphone
and a transmitter, and while it's not common knowledge there
are ways to activate those without having it ring and while
it's still on the base. So any house that has a phone has
already been bugged. I'm getting feed from the one in their
kitchen, but the software still has to do a ton of
filtering. Kasumi's got a pot that will boil over in the
next few minutes. Here, I'll put it on speaker."

He removed the earpiece and adjusted a device on his belt.

"If it's so bloody important, why didn't you mention it
before NOW?!" Akane's voice shouted from the speaker at low
volume. "No matter what you're saying NOW, you said earlier
that *I* was the Heir to the Tendo School of Anything Goes!
Anyone trying to take that away is gonna get some serious
hurt!"

Makoto cracked her knuckles. She grinned at Jared.
"Fiancees can beat up fiancees, can't they?" ~After all, the
way it has been explained, I defeat the Tendo Heir
decisively and I BECOME the Champion of that school. And
since it is joining the two 'houses of Anything Goes martial
arts'...~

Jared wasn't aware of the thoughts of Makoto either. "There
might be special rules. She *is* Akane. That means
preferential treatment almost in proportion to how little
it's deserved. But by all means, go ahead and do it. Once
won't hurt."

Kasumi's voice interrupted their side conversation. "Is he
cute? Does he mind his wife having a job?"

"Yes. Airen *very* good looking. And Shan not think so,
unless it involve evil. Then Jared kill." Shan looked
thoughtful. "Timeline much different, Shan think."

"Disturbances in a timestream can radiate in more than one
direction, some flowing back to the past to make further
alterations," said Urd, having participated in Toltiir's Bet
herself.

Nabiki sounded thoughtful. "Hmmm. Might be good for my
image."

"Wouldn't be hard." Jared snorted, smiling fondly anyway as
her voice went on.

"What are his religious convictions? Is he thoughtful?
Cute? Capable of being nonconfrontational? Able to deal with
the concept of a wife who's able to pull in more money than
he does?"

Jared looked bemused as he considered a *Nabiki* who was
concerned about someone's morality or religious convictions.

Urd practically broke up, stifling giggles, then shot up to
count points off her fingers. "Let's see, he's a priest able
to command the elements and have them obey, hangs out with
off-duty goddesses, and obeys tight religious
restrictions... to the point of shooing me out of bed."

Belldandy seemed very pleased. "He's very thoughtful and
considerate."

Ranko glomped her big older brother, proud of how pleased
he'd make their *new* friends! "And he NEVER beats up ANYONE
unless they need it!"

Makoto toyed with some of the jeweled bangles she'd been
granted in the Amazon village. "If anyone's capable of
making more money than *HE* does, I'd like to see it."

The panda looked depressed, unable to *spend* that money.

After what'd sounded like a slight nervous wait, Soun's
voice came over. "I don't know, I've never met him."

"Cue." Jared rang the bell, glad now that he'd summoned a
friendly air elemental to clear up all the rainwater for
three blocks around.

Now they didn't need to worry about the requisite splashes.

The doorbell rang.

"That must be them!" Soun got up, joy suffusing his
features.

"I'm going to finish my workout," Akane announced and
proceeded to the dojo.

"I hope he's older than me. Younger men are so... boring."
Kasumi arrived to look over her father and younger sister's
shoulder at the menagerie outside.

There was a single boy, which Kasumi assumed must be Ranma,
wearing a red Chinese-style shirt (embroidered with a golden
phoenix) and black pants. Perched on top of their compound
wall and grinning down at her was a young girl wearing an
almost identical outfit, the embroidery instead being a
green dragon. Two girls, one dark skinned with light hair,
the other lighter in skin and darker in hair, wore formal
kimonos. There was also a tall ponytailed girl at the back
of the group, wearing a seifuku.

They'd also brought some animals with them. Two large
hunting cats, one lying at Ranma's feet, who managed to look
thoroughly bored by the proceedings. There was also a panda,
obviously deemed more dangerous than the predators by the
number of chains and locks upon it.

All of the group were bearing gifts, including the
traditional sorts of things. Kasumi smiled, her
sensibilities placated. An attention to proper manners was
always a large plus in her book.

The young man bowed respectfully. "Soun Tendo, I presume?
And these must be your lovely daughters, Nabiki and Kasumi.
Truly, their radiance shines like the sun. My father has
told me so much about you."

Soun was eyeing the unchained cats as he pointed a nervous
finger at the boy. "You, wouldn't be..."

"Ranma Saotome." The boy finished, pleased at how that'd
worked out. Strictly speaking, he'd just admitted to *not*
being Ranma.

The cat at Ranma's feet chose that moment to yawn, which
display of teeth stopped Soun's hysterical rush before it
had even began, so Nabiki interrupted. "Who're your
friends?" She asked suspiciously.

The Saotome boy introduced his companions, first turning to
one who Kasumi wasn't certain she could be friends with or
insanely jealous of. "This is Belldandy."

"How do you do?" The girl bowed perfectly. Kasumi frowned.

The darkly tanned girl that Nabiki was beginning to feel
something of an instinctive rivalry towards winked and
nodded her head. "I'm Urd. Pleased to meet you as well."

The girl leaning against the gate nodded. "Makoto Jupiter,
though Ranma here calls me Lita frequently."

Eyes bugged as the final member of the group (excluding the
animals) flapped wings and settled down to the ground in
front of the Tendos. "Hi! I'm Ranko Saotome, Ranma's little
sister," she chirped merrily with a bow. "I *do* hope we can
be friends! Huh? Can we?"

"Ranko," said Jared with a wan smile, embarassed by Ranko's
performance. Though wasn't it part of "anime physics" that
it was part of the job of little sisters to embarass their
brothers? Hmmm. Perhaps in non-anime universes as well...

Ranko pouted. Genma gruffed. Makoto snickered.

The boy smiled a bit wanely at their performance. "I
realize that we present quite a picture. And since we are
far too many to impose, I went and bought the field next
door. We'll be building over the next few days."

It was Nabiki's turn to smile smugly. "It'll take you more
than a few days. Why, the permits..."

"Already taken care of, Nabiki-san." The young man smiled
more confidently. "And the construction is already
contracted. I bought the house next to that, too. And that's
where we'll be staying until construction begins. Later I
think we'll convert it to an arbor."

"So, Ranma..." Nabiki began, speculative gleam in place. To
get the permits and plans done so quickly required either
influence or wealth. The right wealth in the right place
could put her business firmly in the black, as well as get
better equipment for Kasumi's kitchen.

"Please call me Jared." He smoothly interjected. "You might
say I prefer it, as it's what my mother always called me
since I was tiny. My friends call me that too, Nabiki-san.
Do you have an excess of friends, or is there perhaps room
for one more?"

"Now look here, son!" Soun interjected, features verging on
the hideous demon head. "Just what do you think you're doing
coming here with two beautiful girls in tow when honor
demands that you marry one of my daughters!?"

"Two?" Urd said dangerously over crossed arms.

Makoto raised chi in a silent threat, certain that this
person had just offered insult.

Ranko merely shrugged. She knew she was just a little kid
and not that pretty anyway. She lacked the elegance of
Belldandy, Urd's sensuality, and Mako-chan's
rough-and-tumble attractiveness.

Soun suddenly sweated and rubbed the back of his head.
"Uh... I meant four of you of course." He rounded on Jared,
hardly missing a beat as he resumed looking hideous. "I
would like to hear an explanation of this scandalous
behavior!"

"I雋 glad you asked, Mr. Tendo. It saves me bringing it up.
You see, I'm afraid my father wasn't very careful and he
made more engagements than he had sons. So I'm afraid that
some of the arrangements are going to have to wait until a
later generation to be fulfilled. Dreadfully sorry." The
youth spread his arms helplessly. "But what is a man to do?
Honor pulls me in so many ways, you see. The only thing
left, really, is to contact the remainder of the engaged
parties and to determine who is to be married in this
generation and which of them are going to have to wait."

Soun loomed into the hideous demon head, eyes purple and
forked tongue waving serpentine before him in the air.
Belldandy looked startled, Urd retreated a step, Makoto
readied a chi blast (that would likely have dispelled the
demon head and a good section of house), Kasumi retreated
behind Nabiki who hid behind the doorjam, Ranko hid behind
Belldandy, while the young man who was its focus calmly
brushed imaginary dust from off his sleeve.

The only visitor *not* to react more-or-less calmly was the
hunting cat nearest Jared.

*****

Olympus:

"Ares, dear brother," Eiris said with a smirk. "Can I get
your 'tentacle rape computer game collection' after you're
reduced to component particles?"

"What are you talking about, Eiris?" Ares drew himself up
proudly. "I am the Greek god of conquest and war. WHO would
dare?"

"The word from the Fates is that Kami-sama is MOST
displeased and he had you in for a little chat."

Ares snorted. "As if. I have powerful friends. Even HE
wouldn't do anything to me with it leaving a power gap in
place. There must be balance after all."

Eiris dropped the smirk. "Seriously, Ares. Don't doubt for
a moment that the gods of evil won't stick up for you. Loki
says he considers you like a brother."

"Thanks, sister." Ares said, genuinely touched. "This time,
I've got the little rodent and he'll be out of my hair. I'll
win that bet with you yet."

"I'm sure you will," Eiris said, eyeing her brother's
furnishings with visions of redecorating. "This is your best
plan yet."

*****

Asgard:

Celeste eyed the magical Amazon village and its guardian
giant robots. [Select] [Copy/Compress] [Save]. She looked at
the alteration of reality caused by one Nabiki Tendo
watching a newsclip dealing with a young entrepeneur selling
ready-made lunches to sararimen. [Select] [Copy/Compress]
[Save].

Celeste observed where a Sabre Marionette timeline ended up
with the Shogun of Japoness reincarnated as a smurf, winced,
and moved on.

Celeste watched a princess of the djinn looking for her
fiancee, wondered briefly if she should meddle, and moved
on.

A timeline where, after Ranma's death, Shampoo and Akane
had become friends and had matured was flagged for followup.
Grey had been acting on Heaven's business at the time, and
had made a promise that if possible he would 'find an
unloved Ranma and send him on' or something to that extent.
THAT would have to be observed more carefully, and Grey
reminded that making promises was not to be done lightly.

The goddess of J-pop noted what Sakyo was doing on that
Sabre Marionette timeline. [Select] [Copy/Compress] [Save].

A yellow flag went up. Thor, impulsive as usual, had put
the fear of gods into Genma Saotome. It was containable,
providing no further deities started messing with the main
characters. Otherwise a reset would be inevitable.

Celeste started double checking the backup files and made
an extra copy. Just in case.

*****

Target Timeline:

A purple haired girl holding a staff stood in midair at a
height of 1,250 feet and watched a small procession of
people entering the Tendo household. Ranko flashed her a
thumb's up just before entering, so things were probably
going quite well.

Shan ran a quick internal diagnostic. Everything was
running as it should. She checked her programming next.
Without Sakyo she was quite limited in her abilities. Yet
Sakyo had some programming glitch that had caused her to
gravitate to Grey/Ranko as a Master, clearly not as
acceptable as Jared as a beloved authority figure.

Her mission parameters were mainly "soft" - they could be
redone on the fly. The main "hard" things were simple
enough:
1) Love and obey Master. His pleasure and safety were
paramount. Master set as Jared Saotome, Pheonix Mage.
2) Protect resources (including self) of Master except where
conflicting with rule 1.

This led to a third directive: Upgrade capabilities to the
point where 1 & 2 could be accomplished.

She was a cyborg embued with the abilities of an Ifurita
unit. Current strength would allow her to press over fifty
metric tons, current top flight speed in excess of Mach 2,
flight ceiling unknown as she still had to breathe. Unlike a
normal Ifurita unit, Shan could learn a technique by
observing it instead of having to be hit by it. Her Powerkey
staff wasn't required to "wind her up" and wouldn't make a
difference as far as who her Master was, but it *did*
increase her efficiency, extend the range of her senses, and
allow her to absorb a wide range of energies.

Shan considered her current techniques. She had a number of
spells and martial arts manuevers memorized from
observations of her Master. The fight on the Sailorjin world
had allowed her to learn a number of chi techniques and
powerups. She had learned the Solar Bomb technique from
Amaterasu. By being dimensionally transported, she had
learned to dimensionally transport. Compared to a human or a
normal Ifurita, she was quite powerful.

And yet, her Master had defeated her, and fairly easy. And
had commented upon her not being able to win because she
lacked 'a noble heart' and 'chivalry'?

Shan cursed. Sakyo would have been able to find someone
with those qualities, upload them, and then transfer them TO
her. Without Sakyo, Shan felt incomplete. The two had
strengths that complimented each other, but with different
Masters and duties, they could not interface as well as they
should.

She hated to do it, but Shan realized she would have to
alter her sister's programming so that Sakyo's glitch was
corrected and they both served Jared-sama.

In the meantime though, she needed to practice her newly
acquired techniques and that meant finding a place
sufficiently deserted that no one would be inconvenienced at
the removal of a few mountains.

*****

The heavily bandaged Soun Tendo eyed the great cats playing
in the backyard. Ok, maybe the dreaded "Tendo School Final
Attack: Demon Head Of Outrage" wasn't that good an idea when
there were large carnivores to startle. "Uhm..."

Kasumi looked at the little bundle of energy trying not to
do anything and fidgeting as a result. "Ranko-chan, would
you like to help me in the kitchen?"

The look Ranko turned on Kasumi (accompanied with "light
from above" and angelic chorus in the background) proclaimed
"friend for life" status had just been bestowed. "Really?!"

Kasumi nodded and got up, noting that Ranko looked to her
big brother for permission. When that had occurred, Ranko
followed with a cute "Wai! Yatta!"

One source of potential trouble down, Jared noted. Shan was
off on a "shakedown and maintenence" period for this
afternoon. Ranko's enthusiasm for cooking would keep her
from underfoot for awhile.

Soun cleared his throat. "Now son. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT
YOU HAVE OTHER FIANCEES?!"

Jared made a slightly sweeping gesture with the fingers of
one hand. "There have been... complications. If you play
your cards right, there is still a chance to realize your
dream."

"There are complications," agreed Soun. "If I play my cards
right, there is still a chance to realize my dream."

Nabiki stared at her suddenly calm father.

"Patience is a virtue," said Jared in a reasonable tone.
"This is not the right time or way to press the issue."

Soun calmed further. "Patience is a virtue. This isn't the
right time or way to press the issue."

"I thought that Jedi mind trick was only supposed to work
on... never mind." Nabiki sat back with a disgusted look.

Correctly interpreting her distaste, Jared's preference for
THIS Nabiki went up a notch. "I'm sorry, Nabiki-san, and it
isn't lightly done, but I've an idea of how much trouble
this could cause later."

Makoto pointed out an error light.

"I know, 'No main character ever shows foresight or the
ability to deal with long term results.' But there exists a
precedent!" Jared smiled at Nabiki. "Nabiki, what's going on
with your business?"

"Uhm," Nabiki hesitated but knew that the average boy her
age couldn't deal with a business saavy, career-oriented,
girl. If this guy couldn't deal with it, better to find out
right away. "Well, right now me and Kasumi are selling
bentos and juice at a couple of office buildings, also at
school. I've got a deal pending where we may become 'proud
purveyors of Yamamotoyama teas' which would actually be
pretty good as having official status gets us in on some of
the marketing perks. We're sticking away from Suntory and
the like, but..."

Jared smiled as Nabiki's enthusiasm started running away
with her, her expression betrayed her open enjoyment of
making an honest yen. He murmurred a couple of appropriate
questions and watched her smile grow at the realization that
someone UNDERSTOOD the pleasure of taking an open niche,
working hard, and bringing in a paycheck.

The error light had gone out rather quickly.

Jared was quickly deciding he LIKED this Nabiki. A cloud
passed over his face though as he remembered the Tendo
Twins.

"Ranma, are you okay?" Nabiki asked in concern, breaking
off a monologue about knowing your marketshare and
accessories that she was able to get from various
distributing companies and resell for less than the big
retailers. "You looked like someone just kicked you in the
stomach."

"No, I'm okay. And please, call me Ranma."

*******

About the same time, in a kitchen not far away, two
warriors prepared to battle the demons of hunger.

"What is that?"

"German potato salad! I noticed you had all the
ingredients!" Ranko grinned. "Big sister Kasumi, what are
you making there?"

"Well, tonight is a bit of an occasion, so I thought
broiled squid... Is something wrong, Ranko-chan?" Kasumi saw
the way the little girl winced and thought that here was
someone who should *never* play poker.

"Uhm, Kasumi-oneechan? Big brother *really* doesn't like
squid, or octopus, or stuff like that. He..." Ranko tried to
remember what Urd had told her earlier. "I think he grew up
mainly on American style fast food."

"Oh. I don't know how to make anything like that." Kasumi
wondered what horrible experiences Ranma must have gone
through that he didn't like squid.

"How about a compromise!" Ranko suggested, a contagious
enthusiasm showing. "Ever have spaghetti?"

"No..." Kasumi wasn't sure about this 'spaghetti' but she
found herself warming to the fourteen year old.

"I'll show you. It's sort of like Lo Mein with red
sauce..." Ranko proved that the Saotomes were capable of
more than eating food at high speed. Ingredients blurred in
midair as Ranko named off each one before they ended up in
the pot. "Now this is the sauce and you let it simmer. The
longer it simmers the better. Normally I would've suggested
portobello mushrooms, but you only had shitake."

"Ranko, you splashed yourself with tomato paste." Kasumi
suppressed a giggle at the thin trail of red puree that had
escaped Ranko's attempts. "It's on your mouth."

"Oops. Sorry oneechan. You've got a spatter on your neck.
Let me get it."

"Hey, Kasumi I... WHAT?!"

Kasumi looked towards where Akane was standing in the
kitchen doorway, staring. "Oh hello, Akane. This is Ranko.
She's ..."

"A vampire," interrupted Akane, taking in those fangs,
those reddish wings, the thin reddish stain on Kasumi's
neck. The red stain the vampire had near her mouth. It was
obvious, really. Daylight or not, her ditzy sister was being
attacked by a vampire.

"Huh?" Kasumi and Ranko looked at each other. "What?"

"Ahhhh! And it's got you under some sort of perverted
vampire mind control!"

Ranko smiled. "I'm sorry, but I don't have any idea what
you're talking about. I'm Ranko, do you want to be fri-"

Akane thrust a handful of garlic at the vampire. Actually
it was garlic powder, but a miracle of sorts had nonetheless
occurred. Akane was in the kitchen and had actually grabbed
the ingredient she wanted.

"Oh, thanks, uhm, whoever you are. This is just what we
need." Ranko turned back to the cookpot, glad that they were
all going to be friends now. "If you add garlic now it'll
permeate the other ingredients. You want to make the
meatballs and spaghetti seperately so they can be added
later. Now if you "

*WHAM!*

Ranko dropped to the floor, a small lump forming on her
head.

"And that's MY apron you're wearing." Akane slapped the end
of the rolling pin into her other hand. "Now where can I
find a mallet and stake..."

*spack!*

"AKANE!" Kasumi scolded, holding her hand. It really HAD
hurt her worse than it had her sister. "She was a guest and
helping me in the kitchen. How could you?"

A crowd quickly formed drawn by the incredibly rare event
of Kasumi sounding ANGRY!

Nabiki saw the thin ooze of blood from the scalp wound on
the girl sprawled on the floor, then glanced at the pot.
"Don't like spaghetti, Akane?"

"But I..."

*SLAP!*

Nabiki winced and held her hand. Damn, but she'd wanted to
do that for awhile. It hurt, but it was worth it. "Stop
making excuses, Akane!"

*WHAP!*

"Akane, get ahold of yourself!" Soun said, crying that he'd
had to strike his little girl.

"Oh my," said Belldandy, shrugging.

*CLANG!*

Urd looked at the dent that resembled Akane's face in the
skillet and put it aside. "Did I hear a remark about a stake
and a mallet? You hurt Jared's sweet little sister, and
you'll suffer."

Makoto grinned, slapped her fist into the open palm of the
other hand and started forward. Only to be stopped by Jared.
After all, they were indoors.

*WHACK!*

Genma had found some hot water and loomed over Akane. How
he got out of the shackles would remain a mystery for now.
"You HURT my little girl! Striking from behind like some
honorless ninja! Get ahold of yourself!"

"Ohhh! My little girl has no honor!" Soun began wailing.
"She picks on the weak and attacks from behind!"

"She turned her back, really! Kasumi, you saw her..."
Akane's voice trailed off under the combined glares. "Fine.
Now I've got some MORE frustration to work off."

Ranko slowly pulled herself up, tears showing. "Don't.
Please. Not on my account. I'm sorry Akane. I... I'm sure I
must have been a bad girl somehow. I'll try not to do it
again."

Soun blinked and seemed to notice something for the first
time. "Genma?! Where did you come from?"

*****

Shan dipped and jagged and swooped like a hummingbird on
PCP. She labelled it "Evasive Manuever Set One".

The Russian Air Force called it a vast number of things,
most of which could not be repeated in polite company.

She would occasionally ride a missile as if it were a
surfboard, hopping off a moment later. She had *tried*
pulling up to a cockpit and explaining that she was passing
through and wasn't it a lovely day for flying.

Somehow none of the various jets (Shan had no idea which
were Migs and which were some other kind of plane) had
pilots who didn't seem inclined to be reasonable.

Which meant that Shan had to dodge a lot of attacks over a
lot of miles, and as her navigational systems weren't as
advanced as Sakyo's sensors, she went a little off course.

When she had crossed the border into China, she wasn't
sure. Except that now there were TWO groups of planes
lobbing missiles at her. And each other. They didn't seem
that picky.

Shan was seriously giving consideration to the concept of
using a dimensional gate just to get out of the freefire
zone.

"Shan had enough this crap!" The cyborg Amazon dove to
treetop level then headed back to Nerima at best speed,
ignoring the effects of the double sonic boom this had on
her immediate surroundings. Maybe her airen could just
teleport her into a decent training ground.

********8

"For the honor of the Tendo School, and as its Heir," Akane
frowned at the damn vampire. She'd TRICKED Akane into
beating her into unconsciousness. "I challenge you!"

"Akane that really isn't necessary," protested Soun.

"You're willing to give away the dojo, MY dojo! When Kasumi
and Nabiki started in on their business, abandoning the Art,
you declared that *I* would be your Heir! Now this BOY and
his pet vampire blows in and I'm just an 'also-ran'? I don't
think so!"

Kasumi leaned closer to Nabiki and asked for a reminder to
switch Akane to decaf.

"No." Jared answered simply and succintly, or so he
thought.

"Oh, so you're a coward?" Akane did her best smugly
superior smirk.

Urd fell backwards laughing, which kind of spoiled the
mood.

"Oniisan, what's a coward?"

Jared sighed. "Ranko-chan, a coward is someone who lets
fear rule them."

"Oh." Ranko accepted this, she'd puzzle it out later.

"And no, Tendo. Rule 17 'Ranma does not pick on the weak.'"
He didn't mention the 'Ranma does not hit Akane' or 'Ranma
must repeatedly insult people who annoy him' rules. No point
in going into massive expository dialogue in this kind of
stock scene.

"Weak?" Akane held up a finger. "Excuse me, did a certain
loud mouthed braggart who associates with undead refer to me
as 'weak'?"

"Yeah, that pretty much sums it up." Urd held up a hand
defensively at Jared's wince. "Oh come on, you know you blow
your own horn pretty loud."

"Hmmmph," hmmmphed Jared, completely disagreeing. He just
found himself in situations where confidence and superior
talent made themselves known. Well, that and he had a
certain desire to lend help in spectacular fashion and do it
all with style.

Of course, that 'hanging out with the undead' jibe hit a
bit close to home. They couldn't have known about Mira, he
was sure. But what was one supposed to do with a vampiress
that falls in love with you? He'd gotten her restored to
life as quick as he could, which had led to a brief period
of service to a certain elven queen to get the spell done,
but...

All from a silly Love curse cast on a trapped scroll he'd
been cataloging from a minor treasure heist. Its trigger had
been actually *seeing* a suitable target, so he'd adventured
blindfolded for weeks. But he'd kept doing good deeds, and
all these grateful people kept volunteering to cure him, and
one high level priestess actually flubbed her attempt and
got the curse *transferred* to her, and of course she'd been
staring at him at the time, which led to her revealing she
was an extremely powerful vampiress and all the local plots
she'd been behind, which led him to destroying an army of
ghouls that had secretly been preying on travelers...

Come to think of it, he was rather glad certain dimensional
companions had been left behind. Mira wasn't precisely good,
and yet still wasn't evil anymore either, and could be
rather Kodachi-like when it came to how much destruction
she'd condone in order to protect her One True Love.

That silly love curse had resisted ALL attempts at
dispelling.

No, little Ranko was nothing like a true vampire. If one
bit her he'd get diabetes. Before Jared killed him for doing
it, of course.

"So he doesn't fight wimps, I can get behind that," agreed
Makoto.

"'Wimps'?" Akane twitched a couple of times at that.

"What's a 'wimp'?" Ranko wished that oniichan and his
friends would stop using these unfamiliar terms. Of course,
if they were speaking English instead of Japanese all the
time...

"A person who is a pushover in a fight, you know, someone
really weak but who insists on using their fists anyway."
Urd never had a problem saying what was on her mind. In pure
physical fisticuffs, she wasn't much herself, but then she
never engaged in combat on THAT level anyway.

"A weakling, or merely someone who is pathetic." Makoto
thought. "Though Ami isn't that good a fighter and I
wouldn't call her a wimp. Maybe someone who is prone to
solving problems through violence, but isn't actually that
good a fighter? How about someone with a power rating of
five or less?"

"Oh dear," Belldandy tried to find some nice way to explain
this to Ranko. "I think it would be simpler to say that
while Jared-san fights and kills evil, it is also important
to differentiate between the truly evil and the merely
misguided."

Akane twitched some more. "'Weak'? 'Wimp'? 'Pushover'?
'Weakling'? 'Pathetic'?"

"Oh dear. Akane is actually quite good. I've heard she
manages to beat up a number of boys at school every day."
Kasumi stuck up for her sister. "She may be a violent
maniac, but she can be a very nice girl. Or at least she
used to be before..." How to explain that Akane had changed
since she found that hammer?

"Yeah, the champions of most of the school clubs. At least
the ones that have gone along with Kuno's challenge. Of
course, that includes the Chess Club and Dance Club as well
as the Sumo Club, but..." Nabiki's voice trailed off as she
realized she wasn't helping. If anything, Akane was looking
angrier.

"Oh," Ranko repeated. "Well, I ought to go check the pot,
it needs to be stirred every so often."

Akane's eyes found a target. "Oh, so YOU'RE a wimp now? Or
is it a coward. I'll challenge YOU if you're brother's too
upstanding to fight me."

Ranko looked uncomfortable. "I don't like violence."

"Daughter, it's of no use," Genma sighed wearily. "She has
offered insult and formal challenge. It is now a matter of
family honor for you to fight her."

********

Asgard:

Celeste frowned as she compared some data. This didn't make
any sense. Thumbing an intercom modeled off an old episode
of Star Trek, Celeste attempted to draw someone else's
attention to the problem. "Has someone been playing with the
Second Labor Timeline?"

"That's just Thor's protest of Genma's actions. It evens
out a bit more later on according to predictors, and really
only effects Genma directly." Ishtar was being less
condescending than usual. Mainly due to preoccupation
regarding her attempts to get that Grey fellow involved with
a nice girl and show up those rank amateurs who only THOUGHT
they were gods or goddesses of love.

"No, not that." Celeste sniffed a little distastefully. She
didn't like most Akane Tendos, but THIS was peculiar. "Take
a look at the astral and dimensional patterns I'm sending."

"Yeah, I... What the blazes?! That's infernal corruption,
how did AKANE get that?" Ishtar sounded thoughtful. "Any
chance Ryoga got lost and ended up in that 'Needful Things'
place like he did in XO-241811?"

"Ryoga hasn't even met Akane at this point." Celeste
scribbled down a note to take a look at that timeline. It
sounded amusing. "You're right though, it *does* look like
infernal influence and it is definitely some deliberate
tampering. I'll look closer and see if there's any
indication as to how. Though the whole thing is likely
shielded."

"Just do what you can, this is likely to cause another
Reset if it came from our end."

**************

"Okay, here's your temporary IDs." Joe handed cards out to
the three former goddesses.

"I'm sorry, but this name isn't right." One Belldandy
looked down at the card. The picture was right, that was her
face without goddess markings.

"Name changes for simplicity," replied Joe. "You are now
registered as Verdani, a True Elf operative of the Rival
Relief Office."

"But isn't the RRO..." the other former Belldandy began
then bit her lip.

"Oddballs, misfits, the incompetent, and those who simply
aren't suited for other offices?" Joe shrugged. "What can I
say? The RRO was formed as a group of misfits, and most of
our operatives graduate on to bigger and better things. You,
on the other hand, have been accepted into the Goddess
Relief Office where you will assist Celeste in file
maintenence."

"Oh so my name is now 'Urge?'" The former Urd frowned. "So
I'm now a demigoddess of love? THAT could be handy."

"Best we could do at this time. Both you and Belle are
goddesses FOURTH class." Joe shrugged. "Belle gets to work
at the GRO. Verdani and Urge, you're both going to intern at
the RRO until openings develop. Verdani, I don't think
you'll be here long - they really like the idea of another
Belldandy to help cover the slack."

"What about me?" Urd preened.

"Do you know how MANY demerits you've got?" Joe made a
disgusted noise. "I'm surprised you weren't demoted to the
Rival Relief Office AGES ago."

"Gee thanks."

***************

Target Timeline:

The Tendo dojo had seen better days.

Once, a young woman had led her eldest daughter in a dance
of silvered lightning. Once, a young man had taught his
students in the way of the Art. Once, the dojo had been a
thriving thing and the main source of income for the
household.

Now, Kasumi often practiced her imperfect naginata work in
the yard instead of inside the dojo. Soun Tendo had not
taken students in quite some time, those that had been
present in those olden days had drifted away. A sensei with
no control, no discipline, was less than inspiring. The dojo
was Akane's now, and she hadn't adequately cleaned after her
afternoon workout.

"You know that this isn't a big deal, I don't WANT the
Tendo dojo." Jared shrugged. "The style is 'Anything Goes'
after all, and it is fairly powerful as such things go. A
dojo is not even necessarily the best way to teach the
style."

"SHUT UP!" Akane yelled. "A dojo is more than a building,
this is about honor and family and carrying on a name and
tradition! This is more than a sparring match to determine
who gets some building, it is about justice and the keeping
of promises, it is about taking control of your future and
about standing up for what you believe in."

Everyone stared at Akane briefly. Belldandy nodded, keeping
promises was very important.

Urd wondered if there was some bleedover between resets
since that was something Akane had said in "Cat Scratch
Fever."

"But why do *I* have to fight?" Ranko didn't like this
idea.

"It's not a fight, it's just a sparring match," said Genma.
"It'll be over soon, just give it your best shot."

Ranko stood nervously, her wings fluttering behind her.
"Okay, Akane, I'll try not to hurt you..."

Akane twitched again.

"Begin," Nabiki said, her hand cutting the air.

Akane charged the timid-looking redhead. She punched,
kicked, and was on an all out offensive.

Ranko shrieked, apologized repeatedly, and dodged
everything that the taller girl threw.

"FIGHT ME!"

"I don't wanna! Hurting people unnecessarily is wrong!"

"THIS IS NECESSARY!" Akane kicked out, this time in a
legsweep that Ranko hopped over.

Ranko continued to hover in midair, looking quite upset.
"Please, Akane, can't we be friends?"

"AAGGHHHHH!" Akane was now frustrated beyond words. She
leapt, caught the hovering girl, and slammed her into the
floor. "THERE!"

The moment of silence was broken by a sniffle and a broken
sob as Ranko rolled to her feet, back turned to Akane.
"You're MEAN!"

"YOU!" Akane's punch was stopped by a hand grasping her
fist as Ranko turned a tearful face towards her.

"MEANIE!" Ranko threw Akane, but kept her grip on Akane's
hand. *SLAM!* "MEANIE!" *SLAM!* "You're cruel!" *SLAM!*
"Mean!" *SLAM!* "Bully!" *SLAM!* "Baka!" *SLAM!* "Baka!"
*CRUNCH!* "Baka!" *CRUNCH!* "Baka!" *SMASH!"

"That had to hurt," remarked Makoto after seeing Akane
slung about like a rag doll, making little Akane-shaped
indentations in the walls and floor.

"Waaaaaah!" Ranko cried, doing an excellent Soun Tendo
impression.

Jared looked in the really deep Akane hole to see the
figure that had gone through the dojo floor and was imbedded
in the ground underneath. "Just be grateful you didn't fight
me."

Ranko stopped sniffling slowly. "Oh no! Akane-chan! I HURT
her. Oh no. Oniichan, do you have any bandages?"

Jared blinked. "Well yeah..." In fact he had a roll of
infinite bandages, not that he used it that much.

"I know some first aid, let me have them, I need to do this
to help make up for my lapse," Ranko looked like she was
going to unleash another barrage of crying.

"O-kay," said Jared slowly, hoping he wasn't going to
regret this.

*************

Everyone continued to stare at the results of Ranko's
nursing attempts.

"MMMMFfffff! Mmmmmffff!" The mummy sitting in Akane's spot
seemed to have something to say.

"What's that, Akane-chan? Do you want some spaghetti?"
Ranko asked the white lump.

"MMMmffff!"

"Maybe she wants to apologize," suggested Belldandy.

"Maybe she wants to know where you studied first aid,"
theorized Urd.

"Maybe she wants to breathe," said Nabiki thoughtfully.

"MMMMFFFF! MFFFFFF!"

"Uhm, Ranko," Jared said, ignoring the struggling coccoon
not far from him, "why are you being so nice to someone who
thinks you're an undead monster?"

"Because, oniichan, Akane's just upset at a lot of things
out of her control." Ranko patted the mound on her head like
a puppy, which brought more shaking and muffled noise from
within. "She just doesn't get a lot of love or affection in
her life, has tried to replace with anger, and once she
understands I'm not the enemy, I'm *sure* we can be good
friends!"

Jared nodded, ignoring the little floating hearts and
bunnies that had accompanied that speech. "Uh huh. Yeah,
right. Well if you're set on this, and I think you're making
a BIG mistake, but this might give you a fighting chance:
"So you do not Ranko menace,
Here's a curse to do you penance,
Whenever hurt to her you seek,
All strength from your limbs will leak.
If instead you seek to befriend,
The curse will then be at an end."

"Oniichan?" Ranko blinked.

"Belldandy, can you redo Akane's bandages?" Jared raised an
eyebrow. "I'd ask Urd but I saw her playing with her alchemy
set earlier."

"Oh darn." Urd scowled briefly. There went THAT plan.

*************

The hours had gone by amusingly. If nothing else, the
pictures Nabiki got of Ranko spoonfeeding a weak-as-a-baby
Akane had potential. The strength had gradually been
returning to Akane, but it was doubtful that anything more
would be attempted soon.

They had all made their goodbyes, though Ranko had been
nearly forcibly torn away from Akane because she felt so bad
about Akane being so helpless.

Once Shan had come by, introductions had been made and
farewells given. Jared had a lot to do tonight, after all.

Jared floated in a lotus position, a purple-haired cyborg
Amazon keeping watch while he went Astral and thought things
out.

Jared Saotome had two immediate goals. Small things,
really. Stuff anyone might want to accomplish.

One, just to remain un-bored, was to challenge Makoto and
get some serious sparring in. No reason to slack off on what
was a seriously juicy training opportunity. That's what
Ranma DID after all, wasn't it? Might as well indulge.
Though considering they'd probably have to go back to her
homeworld just to find a landscape sufficiently blasted that
nobody would miss it, maybe they'd better find something a
little closer to home for the light stuff.

A contest between them to see who could kill the most
Yakuza without collateral damage each night? Sounds good.
Open season on organized crime. Have to give Shan a handicap
as she didn't need any sleep. They could lay some rules down
and make a game of it!

On to the second point. How would he, just an ordinary
average Joe such as he was, get his hands on that Metal
Siren and make it his own?

Jared had tried convincing himself that he didn't need it,
his own veritech was tricked out to the nines. But two whole
generations of extra technology, and that plasma spear!
Okay, some elements of the design seemed a little dorky.
Obviously not enough pilots with real experience were on the
design team, but still!

The trouble was not the new veritech, though. Much as it
hurt to say it. No, the trouble was all of the technology
BEHIND that ship! Even if he got ahold of it he'd have to
learn to repair it, things like that don't remain undamaged,
at least not long. Then there was the matter of upgrades.
His own plane was as sweet as it was only because he'd spent
the time in coveralls getting grease all over himself doing
the work needed to make it really fly.

At this point he didn't even know what the weakness of that
new fighter WAS, but he was eager to find out.

No, grabbing the fighter was not a problem. He could do it.
Getting the design specs, production reports, finding the
places where the military had cut cost and go back in and do
it *right!* He needed to know the metallurgy, the advances
in internal systems, heh, he needed to catch up on all of
that know-how they'd used to BUILD THE SUCKER! More
importantly, going back to some world where pilots had used
them in combat and listen to his peers about what they'd
done or cajoled their mechanics into doing. Then go up
against a foe where he could test what worked.

There were times when he really missed that campaign on
Mars. A target rich environment, by any standards.

There were some pilots who'd covered their canopy with
stickers indicating kills. A very few of the real elites
lived long enough and got 'clusters', stickers indicating
groups of tens. If that whole campaign hadn't been
classified, Jared Saotome would have been up for a special
category of cluster indicating thousands. Just on the
confirmed kills caught on his flight recorder - parts of
which had been declassified in order to make motivational
films.

Jared came up on the Nichieju village again, and again
slipped through the wards he had designed without so much as
a whisper. Whoever or whatever had been adding bits and
pieces to the village had clearly stopped.

An earth elemental he'd asked to spy reported that there
were FIVE of the underground bunkers. Which meant a sentai
group or something similar. It figured, he WAS in an anime,
after all.

On a hunch, Jared examined the first of the vehicles, the
robo-Shampoo. He found what he was looking for soon enough,
though he had to stare at it as he had been expecting a
spell and this was simply... alien.

A brief visit to a plane called Aramar had introduced him
to something similar. It was called god-metal by some, but
was mainly referred to as clothu or something similar. It
could look like metal or cloth or some sort of ceramic, most
often exhibiting properties of a metal-ceramic. It was
actually an alien form of life, symbiotic in nature, that
was empathic but not intelligent.

The robo-Shampoo's "plastic" was made of something similar.
It was so alien that a response from a "Detect Life" spell
came back inconclusive, but the closer he checked the more
certain he was.

Damage to the plastic Shampoo would eventually heal,
missiles would eventually regrow to replace those that were
fired.

His suspicions proved founded when he determined that the
Metal Siren had likewise been "infected" by the lifeform.
This also explained why the five bunkers were contained as
well as they were. The lifeform was in a communicable stage
right now, and would spread to items of metal or plastic or
even some types of plant fibers if allowed.

If it was like the Aramarian "clothu" - that communicable
stage would only last a few days.

What made the material so valuable on Aramar, being MUCH
more precious than gold, was that once an item had "bonded"
with an owner - the stuff could "evolve" as the skills and
powers of its owner increased. Part of what the clothu got
out of the deal was this increase in its own capabilities,
as well as the mobility and experience of its partner.

The Metal Siren was 70% infected, with no outward sign of
the infection except a couple of gemlike decorations -
actually sensory organs.

Jared considered carefully and wondered how he could use
this information to his best advantage.

Then he was interrupted by the sound of Jusenkyo.
Screaming.

*****

Asgard:

"Oh my," said Belle to Celeste.

"Damn, SOMEONE'S been busy." Celeste did another backup of
the Nichieju village and Jusenkyo, writing over the previous
copy. "Kinda neat though. If I restored from a backup, let's
see what would happen."

"Ce-chan, that's not a simulator."

Celeste nodded, not hearing the comment as she was
concentrating on the old Fubar Corporation device. "Yeah.
Running this back... Oh, hello. Look at this."

Belle looked over the image. "Looks like it automatically
retroactives the Magical Hidden Village concept. Now Ranma
is the Sacred One spoken of in ancient scrolls who will
return just a few years prior to the 'Time Of Greatest
Need.' Shampoo is raised to be the Bride of the Chosen One,
just as Cologne and Comb and the others of her line were all
slated for that honor - only allowing themselves to get into
a relationship and have kids when it was apparent that Ranma
wouldn't appear."

"See here- things progress relatively normally until Ranma
visits the village. A line of the prophesy says 'Jusenkyo
kissed' so naturally when this girl is given the Kiss Of
Death - someone splashes Ranma just to be sure." Celeste
chuckled at the now completely divergent scene. "Ranma
doesn't even know that he's been married until..."

"Oh my," said Belle and Celeste simultaneously, blushing.

"She's certainly, uhm, enthusiastic." Celeste switched the
image off. "Well, I'd say that THAT Ranma wouldn't be quite
so shy around girls very long."

Belle merely nodded. A glance was exchanged and they turned
the "simulation" back on.

*****

Jared came to Jusenkyo, cautiously even though this was
merely his Astral form therefore an invisible ghost to most
people.

Physical senses didn't tell him anything.

Magical senses showed the same chaos, though there were
subtle differences.

Empathic senses revealed that the maliciousness and
smugness permeating the valley from the spirits of Jusenkyo
had vanished. If it were physically possible, Jusenkyo would
be cringing.

Jared looked over the pools and noted that the templates on
a number of pools had been altered. Spring Of Drowned Girl,
Drowned Man, and a number of others were untouched or
altered only slightly.

Spring of Drowned Beautiful Girl, Spring Of Drowned
Handsome Man. Both springs now had an additional line in
their transformative curses. Spring Of Drowned Flying Pig
now, as Duck and Pig had been combined somehow. Spring Of
Drowned Panda had been combined with Spring Of Drowned
Drunk, to make a Spring Of Drowned Drunken Panda.

Some springs had been replaced entirely. That HAD been
Spring Of Drowned Frog. He read it now as transforming the
victim into... a randomly determined Pokemon? Spring Of
Drowned Elf? Spring Of Faerie Princess? (If Jared was
reading this right, this last included lines of inhuman
beauty, noble behavior, and royal grace.)

Hot water springs, cold water springs, and springs that
didn't depend on water temperature but used another trigger.

Sparing another glance at the Spring Of Drowned Faerie
Princess, Jared wondered if Shan would mind flying a certain
panda over and dunking him. 'Noble behavior'...

****

A pretty typical 'Ranma meets the Tendos' scene... yeah
right.

Akane gets bashed. The worst beating being from someone who
is genuinely trying to befriend Akane.

Clothu - something from my AD&D days after watching a whole
lot of anime, especially after noticing some of the things
about giant robots and armored heroes.

Ranma as a hero of prophesy? Yes, he'd have to grow into the
role, but Shampoo might be able to (ahem) convince him.

Different Jusenkyo Springs.

====================

-----------------------------
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