[Ranma][FanFic] Daigakusei no Ranma - Episode #28

[Saotome Ranma]

I've been waiting
Since the world stood still
A picture in my mind
An image left behind
I love you and always will

All I needed was a miracle
To see that I was wrong
Yeah, all I needed was a miracle
To realize what was going on

'Cause in this world
There is only one
And in this life
Under the sun
In this heart
Is the life of love

In this heart
Is the life of love

+-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+
| Daigakusei no Ranma |
| |
| Created by David Tai and Paul Gallegos |
| |
| Based on the characters created by Rumiko Takahashi |
+-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+

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-= Episode 28: "Say You Will" =-
===============================================================================

[Thursday night. A light rain, illuminated only by the street lamps, comes
down on Ranma Saotome, who is soaked through the light jacket she wears.
Ranma-chan carries a small package in a plastic bag.]

Ranma-chan: [grumbles] Stupid freaky weather. Can't make up its mind.

[She rounds the far corner from Maison Sabaku and sees a figure hastily
running toward her, trying to open an umbrella. As she gets closer, she sees
that Hitomi is fighting a losing battle with the umbrella. Hitomi stops
running and looks skyward for a moment, as if marshaling some inner strength,
then tries to open the umbrella again.]

Ranma-chan: [approaching] Um... mind if I...?

[Hitomi looks up and sees the soaking wet Ranma-chan. She looks at the
umbrella for a moment, then thrusts it at Ranma-chan.]

Hitomi: [frustrated] If you think you can, go for it.

[The umbrella pops open with a flick of Ranma-chan's wrist. Hitomi boggles as
Ranma-chan hands it back to her.]

Ranma-chan: [walking away] You're welcome.

[Hitomi looks at the umbrella in disbelief for a moment, then with a quick
backward glance, she races off to work.]

Hitomi: [thinking] Who WAS that?

[Ranma-chan trudges up the steps to Maison Sabaku's front door. The door
swings open to reveal Akane standing in the doorway.]

Akane: It's about time! Did you get it?

[Ranma-chan hands Akane the plastic bag she carries.]

Ranma-chan: [sighs] Yes. Why on earth you insist on chocolate ice cream in the
middle of a rainstorm is beyond me.

Akane: [quickly breaking open the box] Being half-female, I would have thought
you'd know by now. [winks]

Ranma-chan: [shrugs tiredly] Whatever. I'm going inside and drying off.
I've still got homework to do.

[Ranma goes inside, leaving Akane to sit on the bench on the porch.]

Akane: [sighs] I couldn't go get it because it was my turn to cook dinner. And
I need this for dessert. [shakes her head] Why am I talking to myself?

[Akane gets up and heads upstairs.]

* * *

[Friday noon. Kasumi is in the kitchen, busily cooking lunch, humming a happy
tune. Yuriko, in contrast, sits glumly at the small table. From the living
room the TV can be heard. ]

Kasumi: [finally noticing Yuriko's mood] What is wrong with you today,
Yuriko-chan?

Yuriko: Nothing. Everything. Oh, I don't know. [ turns away ]

Kasumi: [looks curious] Don't you have any experiments to do?

Yuriko: No. After the last disaster, I decided to put the HEDSWIM experiments
on hold. Besides, have you seen the chaos in my lab? I can't even find
my own equipment anymore!

Kasumi: Then let's clean it up after we have eaten. I'll help you, too. Once
everything is nice and orderly again, you'll feel better. And now
let's eat.

[The two have a quiet lunch, neither of them talking. After Kasumi has put the
plates away, the ladies head for Yuriko's room/lab. As Kasumi opens the door,
she freezes. Chaos isn't a word to describe the state of the room. Every free
space, including the floor, is covered with paper, opened hi-tech
thingamajicks, beakers of chemicals, a few glowing rocks, and less easily
identifiable items and substances.]

Kasumi: [wide-eyed] Oh my.

Yuriko: [shrugging appologetically] I told you it was a mess.

[It takes several hours to clear the mess, even with Kasumi's help. Finally,
one can see the floor again, and everything is at its proper place.]

Kasumi: [smiling] See, isn't this much better?

Yuriko: [looks around, grinning] Yes. I finally found the plans for a little
something I came up with while working on the HEDSWIM. It's a formula
for liquid compression that interacts with large, complex molecular
structures... [notices Kasumi's blank look] Anyway, I think I'll start
working on that.

Kasumi: [smiles] Good. I'll leave you alone, then.

[Kasumi turns to leave. Almost at the door, she notices a small, dusty bottle,
with a faded label reading 'R-C-5', peeking out from under a shelf. She pulls
it out and turns to Yuriko, who is already writing like a maniac, dropping
paper left and right.]

Kasumi: Oh, we forgot something. Where does this one go?

Yuriko: [stops and looks, then goes pale] Oh boy. I completely forgot that
one. Um... Kasumi, do you think you could call Ranma and ask him to
come over?

Kasumi: [puzzled] Of course I can. Why? Is this something for him?

[Yuriko nods and takes the bottle, putting it carefully on her working table.
Kasumi leaves the room to call Ranma and prepare dinner.]

* * *

[Afternoon at Maison Sabaku. Sato's apartment. Sato is kneeling in front of
an elaborate shrine, contemplating. From behind Sato, a shadow is seen,
silently moving around, bored, grumbling. After an extended period of
grumbling, Sato comments quietly.]

Sato: Yutaga-san, please. It's hard to concentrate while you're whining back
there.

Yutaga: You know, Sato, if you really wanted to know what the answer to life,
the universe, and everything is, I could tell you.

Sato: [condescendingly] It's not 42, is it?

Yutaga: [smugly] Nah. Life... is a peach.

[Sato is taken aback, and turns to face Yutaga.]

Sato: Huh? How is life like a peach?

Yutaga: [crossing his shadowy arms, mimicking Sato's voice] It just is.

Sato: How's that supposed to make sense?

Yutaga: I don't know, but it sounds good when YOU say it.

[A low chuckle can be heard from the shadow. Sato shakes his head in an
annoyed fashion and turns back to his altar. Suddenly, the altar falls apart,
the noise as the parts hit the ground unnaturally loud in the quiet room.]

Sato: [slowly] This ... is a bad omen.

Yutaga: [leaning on him] Duh. What gave you that idea, prayer boy?

Sato: [ignores Yutaga and opens a small travelling shrine] I must pray for
guidance.

[He retreats into prayer, but only minutes later, the small shrine's altar
also falls apart.]

Sato: [defeated] It is fate.

[Behind his back, Yutaga smirks.]

Yutaga: Nah, looks like someone squished your peach.

[Sato immediately starts gathering things up and packing into a backpack.
Yutaga frowns.]

Yutaga: Why are you packing?

Sato: Only a fool would fight fate. And I'm not a fool.

Yutaga: Don't you have an appointment tomorrow, though?

Sato: [pauses] You're right. [He continues packing.]

Yutaga: [mutters] Emergency departure?

Sato: Exactly.

* * *

[Mid-afternoon at Maison Sabaku. Hitomi walks in the front door, weary from
a long morning at work.]

Kazuya: [opening her door] Ah, Akiyama-san. Wait a minute, please. I have a
letter for you.

Hitomi: A letter?

[Kazuya nods and vanishes behind her door, reappearing a second later with an
envelope.]

Kazuya: Hai. Here it is. [looks closely at Hitomi] You look tired. Too much
work?

Hitomi: [nods] I wish the boss would hire a new waitress... Lately, we have
gotten more customers than we could handle! [takes the letter] Arigato,
Kanrinin-san.

[Kazuya closes her door again and Hitomi goes into her own apartment.
Once the door is closed, she sits on the couch next to the table, opens
the letter and begins to read.]

Hitomi: [muttering] I wonder who's writing me ... [reading out loud] "Dear
Hitomi-chan," [She pauses] Dear Hitomi-chan? [shrugs and continues
reading] "It has been so long since you last wrote us, and you were
never there when we tried to call. We are so worried about you, all
alone in that strange place, having to work as a waitress! So, your
father and I have decided to visit you next weekend."

[Hitomi gets big eyes as she glances at the date on the top of the letter,
then looks at a calendar.]

Hitomi: B-but that's tomorrow! Oh no! Wait... maybe it won't be that bad.
Maybe... [resumes reading] "We look forward to seeing you again, and
we'd also like..." [trails off] Oh my.

[The letter falls from Hitomi's hands.]

* * *

[The Saotome apartment. Ranma sits at the table in the living room with an
expression of impending doom, though he tries not to show it.]

Akane: [from the kitchen] Lunch's almost ready, Ranma!

Ranma: [with forced enthusiasm] Great! What did ya make today?

Akane: [bringing out a steaming bowl] I decided to try pork ramen, Ranma.
[takes a closer look at him and frowns.] My cooking is better now, you
know. It didn't kill you yesterday, did it? I seem to remember someone
liking what they ate.

Ranma: Uh, but that was soup. This is different. [tinysweats]

[Someone knocks on the apartment door.]

Ranma: [thinking] Saved. [out loud] I'll go and answer the door! [stands and
opens the door.] Hel...

[Hitomi rushes in and closes the door behind herself. Taking a deep breath,
she looks at Ranma.]

Hitomi: Ranma, I need you!

Ranma: [wide-eyed] Uh ... uh ...

[Behind them, the smoke alarm suddenly goes off. Both Hitomi and Ranma turn
to see Akane staring at them, completely ignoring the flaming pieces of meat
on the stove.]

Akane: [exclaiming] N-NAAAAANI???

[The ceramic bowl containing the ramen noodles next to the stove explodes
from the heat of the flames and Akane's aura, sending noodles all over the
kitchen.]

* * *

[After the mess has been cleaned up, the three sit down at the table. Ranma
still hasn't fully recovered from his surprise, and Akane is trying to stay
calm, with moderate success.]

Hitomi: [kneeling on floor, bowing deeply to Akane] Please, Akane-san, let me
explain.

Akane: [forces an even tone] This had better be good.

Hitomi: My parents are a bit old-fashioned, and think a girl my age should be
married already, or at least engaged. So I told them I had a boyfriend,
to prevent them from arranging a marriage. Now, they will be visiting
tomorrow, and if I don't have a boyfriend to present to them ...
please, you have to help me!

[Akane and Ranma exchange looks.]

Akane: But why Ranma?

Ranma: Yeah, why me?

Hitomi: [blushing] He's the only man I know that I trust to stay honorable in
such a situation.

Akane: What about Sato? He may be annoying, but he's honorable enough.

Hitomi: [long pause] I think that asking Sato to pretend to be my
boyfriend would be a BAD idea in this situation.

Ranma: Are you sure about that? I mean, he ...

Hitomi: [interrupting] Ranma, you know Sato's got his own agenda, always
disappearing at random times. I can't trust him to stay with me.

Ranma: Hmm... you've got a point.

Akane: [reluctantly] It's only for a day, right?

Hitomi: [nodding] Hai. Does that mean you'll allow Ranma to help me?

Akane: [long pause] ... hai. Just don't get any ideas. I'll be keeping an eye
on you.

Hitomi: [relief clearly visible on her face] Oh, thank you! [turns to Ranma]
Please, Ranma, will you help me?

Ranma: Um ... [looks at Akane, who nods slightly] sure.

Hitomi: [jumps up] Oh thank you!

[Akane and Ranma watch as Hitomi leaves the apartment, then Akane rises and
gets her jacket and throws Ranma his. Ranma catches it and looks up at Akane.]

Ranma: What's this for?

Akane: [winks] Since it is clearly your fault that dinner was ruined, you
can invite me to a restaurant.

Ranma: [indignant] Hey, it wasn't my fault!

[She laughs and leans down to Ranma to kiss him on the cheek.]

Akane: Silly man. Let's go.

[The phone rings. Akane, already at the door, turns to answer it.]

Akane: Hello? Oh, Kasumi ... yes, he's here. Yes, I'll tell him. Bye!

[Akane replaces the receiver, puzzled.]

Ranma: Something wrong, Akane?

Akane: No, nothing. Kasumi said you should come over now if you can. She said
Yuriko wanted to see you.

Ranma: What about the restaurant? [pauses] In fact, where are we going anyway?

Akane: [smiles] I was thinking of Oshima Restaurant.

Ranma: That's kind of busy, isn't it? [quickly] Not that I'm complaining
about the choice.

Akane: [pauses] How about this? I go on ahead and get a table, you go see
what Yuriko wants and just meet me at Oshima in about 20 mintes?

Ranma: [nods] Sounds good. I'll see you there.

* * *

[After leaving Ranma and Akane's apartment, Hitomi is fairly leaping down the
stairs with glee. As she prepares to enter her apartment...]

Kazuyo's voice: Akiyama-san?

[Hitomi turns around slowly, to look at her apartment manager.]

Hitomi: [offering a sheepish grin] Kanrinrin-san?

[Kazuyo, however, crosses her arms, frowning slightly, eyebrow arched. A
sweatbead slowly trickles down the back of Hitomi's head.]

Kazuyo: [mercifully ending the silence] What's got you so excited, Akiyama-san?

Hitomi: [offers a big innocent grin] Because my parents are visiting?

Kazuyo: [bland expression] Is that so?

[Kazuyo starts tapping a foot, awaiting further explanation.]

Hitomi: And... uh, I'm happy to see them? [looks at Kazuyo's expression, then
sighs] All right, I just... uh, needed to talk to Ranma to ... help me
with something.

Kazuyo: [gently] Is it really fair to Saotome-san to get him and Akane involved
in this?

Hitomi: N-no, but they're not really involved, honest. He's just... uh, helping
me out.

Kazuyo: Oh? How so?

Hitomi: [sweatdropping] You're not really going to let me off easy, are you?

Kazuyo: [opens the door to her apartment] Trust me, dear, this is better than
avoiding the issues.

Hitomi: [glances at her watch] Whoops, look at the time, I've got to clean up
or I'll be late! Bye, Kanrinrin-san!

[With that, she zips back into her apartment. The door clicks. Kazuyo frowns,
then sighs and turns back into her own apartment.]

* * *

[Kasumi and Yuriko's apartment. Ranma walks up the stairs and is about to
knock when Yuriko opens the door for him.]

Yuriko: Ranma! Glad you came!

Ranma: [slightly puzzled] What's going on, Yuriko?

Yuriko: [motions in the apartment] Please, come in!

Ranma: Actually, I can't. I'm meeting Akane for dinner.

[Yuriko's face falls.]

Yuriko: Darn. I was hoping to see the results...

Ranma: [eyeing Yuriko warily] What are you talking about?

[Yuriko produces the bottle labeled 'R-C-5' and hands it to Ranma.]

Yuriko: This is a cure for your... changing.

[Ranma boggles at the bottle.]

Yuriko: Since I kinda caused it, I thought I might as well fix it...

Ranma: Wha-? You caused it? [quickly corrects himself] Right! Right! [pauses]
So how'd you do it?

Yuriko: [brightly] Oh, it was easy! I took some of your leftover hair and
tissue samples and manipulated the DNA sequence to force the ...

Ranma: [puts a hand behind his head] Uh.. hahaha... um, well, I'm glad you
did it. [looks at bottle] Am I supposed to pour it on me, or drink it,
or what?

[Kasumi enters from the kitchen.]

Kasumi: Oh! Ranma-kun! I see you received Yuriko's present!

Ranma: Yeah, isn't it great?

Kasumi: If you say so! [smiles sweetly]

Yuriko: Drink it, but with food... just in case.

Ranma: [blinks] Just in case...?

Yuriko: [quickly] Oh, nothing! Nothing at all! [pauses] Except maybe some
inconvenient cramping and facial twitches.

Ranma: ...

Yuriko: I can't test it on anything. It's matched specifically to your DNA.

Ranma: ...

Kasumi: Ranma? Did you bring Akane?

Ranma: Uh... I'm supposed to meet her for dinner.

Kasumi: Well, then shouldn't you get going?

Ranma: Right! [to Yuriko] Arigato!

[Ranma turns and runs down the steps. Yuriko watches him go.]

Yuriko: Oh shoot! I forgot to ask him to write down any effects he experiences!
[to Kasumi] Should I call him tonight?

Kasumi: That would probably be a good idea. [turns to go upstairs] Did you
remind him not to mix the potion with alcohol?

[Yuriko pales.]

Yuriko: I forgot... but he doesn't drink, does he? If he doesn't, he'll be
ok...

Kasumi: [brightly] I'm going to go upstairs and study. Be sure to close the
door behind you if you go out.

Yuriko: [slowly] Hai.

[Yuriko looks off in the direction Ranma headed, then grabs her lab coat from
the rack and takes off after him.]

* * *

[A residential street not far away from Maison Sabaku. Sato is walking down
the street, carrying a backpack. He tries to look casual, but fails miserably,
as every woman on the street stops whatever she is doing to look after him as
he walks past them. As he passes by a small shrine surrounded by a low bamboo
fence, an old man sitting on the front steps calls out to him.]

Old Man: Ichiro-kun! So good of you to come by tonight instead of tomorrow!

[Sato flinches, but turns his steps toward the shrine, stopping in front of
the old man and bowing deeply to him.]

Sato: Konbanwa, sensei.

[The old man returns the bow, then stands and walks into the shrine, motioning
to Sato to follow him. Sato sighs and does so. Both men sit down in front of
the shrine's altar.]

Old Man: Ichiro-kun, it has been three years since we first met. You were a
troubled young man searching for inner peace, and I decided to help
you on your path. You have come far since then, and learned many
lessons, although you still have a distressing tendency to gather
curses like some people collect Sanrio. You have even further to go,
but I have confidence in you. Still, I sense that something troubles
you greatly.

Sato: Sensei, as I was praying today, something happened. My altar broke apart,
and when I opened my traveling shrine to pray for guidance, its altar
also broke apart. It is an omen of bad things to come, I fear.

Old Man: [nodding] Yes, yes ... a bad omen indeed. The kami are angry with you
for something, my friend.

Yutaga: [barely audible] There's a newsflash...

Old Man: Did you say something, Ichiro-kun?

Sato: [sighs] No, sensei.

Old Man: Anyway, what did I want to say? Ah yes ... The fox that escapes the
knife will fall prey to the arrow.

Sato: Pardon?

Old Man: Convenient escapes aren't.

Sato: What do you mean, sensei?

Old Man: The easiest path is also the longest.

Sato: Are you saying ... I need to stop running?

Old Man: Very good, grasshopper. This is my final lesson to you.

[The Old Man produces a prepared backpack out of nowhere and stands.]

Old Man: As my chosen successor, this shrine is now yours. Don't worry about
the paperwork, I've already arranged everything. [gets ready to leave]

Sato: Wait, sensei! Where are you going? And what do you mean, this shrine is
now mine?

Old Man: I'm off to somewhere where no one will bother me ever again. Maybe a
remote valley somewhere in Tibet that no man has entered in ages, so
I have peace to contemplate how life is like a peach. And since
someone has to take over the shrine ... [beams widely] Well,
congratulations on your new job! And don't forget, shrine hours are
Tuesdays and Thursdays from nine in the morning to seven in the
evening! [walks out, whistling]

Sato: [despairing] Why me, Kami-sama?

Yutaga: [appearing behind Sato] Why are you crying about how life dumps on you?
Just be quiet. You don't have to go through what I have to suffer every
day.

Sato: [puzzled] What do you mean?

Yutaga: Do you think I LIKE the view every time you're on the toilet?

Sato: ...

[Now that it is quiet inside the shrine except for the crackle of the small
fire, noises can be heard from outside. More specifically, voices. Female
voices.]

Sato: [listening] Uh-oh.

[Sato stands and opens the front door just a tiny bit to peer out and sees all
the girls from the street in front of the shrine. Closing the door again, he
looks for a back exit.]

Yutaga: Trying to run again, Sato?

[The altar starts creaking ominously.]

Sato: [bows his head in defeat] Only a fool would fight fate, and I am not a
fool.

[Sato hesitates before opening the door.]

Sato: The one good thing about all this... whatever happens to me happens to
you as well, Yutaga.

Yutaga: ... So what's your point?

[Sato opens the door, letting Yutaga see the mob of women ready to enter.]

Yutaga: ACK! NO! WAIT! Maybe we can talk about this, eh, Sato? Ol' pal? Buddy?

* * *

[At Oshima restaurant. Akane is sitting at a booth by the window, sipping a
neon green drink. Ranma walks past the window, and Akane sticks her tongue out
playfully at him. Ranma waves back before walking inside.]

Ranma: [sitting down in booth] What's that? [motions to drink]

Akane: It's called a "dive bomb". It was a drink special.

Ranma: I think I'll pass. Did you order yet?

Akane: [holds up glass and giggles] Just this.

Ranma: [grins] How MANY did you have before I got here?

Akane: [pauses] One. [giggles] But it was HUGE!

Ranma: [rolls eyes] Oi!

Akane: [sips drink] Did you find out what Yuriko wanted?

[Ranma produces the small bottle labelled 'R-C-5' and sets it in the middle of
the table.]

Ranma: This is it.

Akane: [stares at bottle] WHAT is it?

Ranma: [folds arms across chest] It's SUPPOSED to be a cure.

Akane: For wha- Oh! [raises an eyebrow] REALLY?

Ranma: Yup. [exhales slowly]

[Akane looks at the bottle, then back to Ranma, then back to the bottle again.
The bottle starts to get annoyed, but not as much as Akane.]

Akane: So why haven't you drank it already?

Ranma: [blinks] Hmm? Oh, I'm supposed to do this on a full stomach, according
to Yuriko.

Akane: [grins] Bottomless pit, you are.

[The waitress comes by to take their orders. She looks quizzically at the
bottle.]

Waitress: Anou... you aren't allowed to bring drinks in here.

Ranma: It's ok, it's not alcohol. It's just an experiment.

Waitress: [unsure] Experiment?

[The waitress picks up the bottle to examine the label. In the corner of the
label, it reads in very tiny letters "Property of Yuriko Murata". The waitress'
eyes grow to twice their size and she hastily places the bottle back on the
table.]

Akane: Something wrong?

Waitress: [hurriedly] N- nothing... [looks at her watch] Oh, my shift's over.
I'll get your replacement right away!

[The duo watch the waitress hurriedly run into the kitchen. Seconds later, the
same waitress rushes out of the restaurant, coat in hand. As soon as she gets
outside, she breaks into a full run down the street.]

Akane: Was it something I said?

Ranma: [looking at the bottle] More like something she read. [shows the label
to Akane] Looks like Yuriko's been to this restaurant before.

Akane: THAT explains the big black mark on the floor by the next table.
[points]

[Ranma turns to see a HUGE black mark on the floor underneath the next table,
where something seems to have exploded and burned itself out. He looks back at
the bottle he is still holding.]

Akane: [grins] Wanna drink it now?

Ranma: I DEFINITELY need to eat something first.

Akane: Good. I could use another "dive bomb".

[Ranma raises an eyebrow but signals a nearby waitress. Ten minutes later,
several plates of hot and steaming food cover the table. Ten minutes after
that, several empty plates are stacked off to one side of the table.]

Akane: So, are you ready to do this?

Ranma: [blinks] Do what? Oh, right. [pauses] Yeah, I guess so.

[Ranma uncorks the bottle and sniffs. Not smelling anything, he pours half of
the contents in an empty glass with ice. At the same time the waitress comes
over to clear away the empty dishes. Setting down her pitchers of tea and
water, she manages to pick up the entire pile. As Ranma is about to drink, a
misplaced fork slides off the stack, falling to the ground. The waitress nimbly
steps to the side, bumping the table, causing everything on it to tumble over
onto Ranma and Akane. In the blink of an eye, Ranma has transformed.]

Akane: [surprised] AAAA!

[Akane looks down at herself, then gingerly pulls her blouse away from her
chest. Ranma, now female, is still holding the empty glass that once contained
Yuriko's experiment. She looks at Akane, who tries not to laugh at her
expression of quiet discomfort.]

Waitress: [bowing profusely] Oh, I'm so sorry! Let me get my manager!

[The waitress leaves quickly, returning moments later with a tall, balding
gentleman with a purple tie.]

Manager: [seeing mess] I see... [to Akane] Your meal is on the house. Please
accept our apologies.

Waitress: [blinks] W- where did the guy go?

Akane: [quickly] What guy?

Ranma-chan: Yeah, what guy?

Waitress: I could've sworn...

Ranma-chan: [grabs her own chest] Hmm. Nope. No guy here. Wait! I can make
sure... [begins to unbutton her sopping wet shirt]

Akane: I think she gets the point, Ranma.

Waitress: [stammers] No, no! I believe you! [bows] Please accept my profuse
apologies!

Manager: [to waitress] Go get a mop and some towels. [to Ranma-chan] If your
blouses need to be dry-cleaned, please send the bill here, care of
myself.

[The waitress disappears as the manager hands Ranma-chan a business card, who
places it in her shirt pocket without looking at it.]

Ranma-chan: [sighs] Let's get out of here, Akane.

Manager: Again, if there's anything I can do... [bows]

Akane: No, no, I think we can manage, thank you.

[The two depart as the waitress returns with several towels and a mop. She
moves all the leftover dishes and cups, including Ranma's bottle, to the next
table before beginning to clean. At this point, Yuriko enters the restaurant.]

Yuriko: I could've sworn he ducked into ONE of these places...

[Her gaze rests on the large black mark on the tile floor next to the booth
being cleaned.]

Yuriko: Eep! I'm not supposed to be... [sees bottle] Hey, that's my bottle!

[Yuriko walks over and picks up the bottle. The waitress, not seeing Yuriko
behind her, bumps into her while mopping the floor.]

Waitress: Gomen, but this booth is not ... [recognition crosses face] YOU!

Yuriko: [quickly dropping bottle into lab coat pocket] Umm... sorry, must've
made a wrong turn! Ja!

[Before the waitress can react, Yuriko runs out of the restaurant. As she
leaves, her billowing lab coat gets caught on a nearby chair. With a quick
tug, she frees it, but not before a small, gray object falls to the ground
with a clink. Everyone in the restaurant freezes and turns slowly to look at
the object.]

* * *

[An hour later, outside Maison Sabaku.]

Voice: [from inside] WHADDYA MEAN IT DOESN'T WORK??

[Cut to inside Room 4. Akane's face is red with anger, while Ranma-chan's is
red from frustration. Ranma-chan is also dripping water on the floor.]

Ranma-chan: Exactly what I said! It doesn't work!

Akane: But... but... [sputters] How did this happen? You didn't drink any of
Yuriko's ... did you?

Ranma-chan: NO! Of course not! I didn't have the chance! It spilled all over
the table along with your drink.

Akane: And you're SURE that Yuriko said it only works if you drink it?

Ranma-chan: That's what she said. It's hard to get the words "drink it"
confused with "pour it on yourself".

Akane: [frowns] I don't get it.

Ranma-chan: [sighs loudly] Look, I'll just go over to Yuriko's and see if she
can fix this. [opens door]

Akane: Just be sure to be home before midnight, ok? And don't let her put
anything on your head.

[Ranma-chan waves a hand in dismissal as she leaves, closing the door behind
herself.]

Akane: Hmph. Looks like it's gonna be another sleepless night tonight.

[She goes over to the freezer and gets out the box of chocolate ice cream.
Grabbing a large spoon from a drawer, so walks over to the futon and settles
herself down in front of the TV. The TV blares on about a false bomb threat
at a local restaurant, resulting in the restaurant's evacuation and the
surrounding area. Several Japanese SWAT team members rush into the restaurant
in the background just as a tall, balding gentleman with a purple tie comes on
the screen to be interviewed. Moments later, the SWAT team members stream out
of the building just as quickly as they entered. Not three seconds later,
there is a quiet "poof", and a small column of purple smoke trails lazily out
the front door. The gentleman in the purple tie begins to rant about mad
scientists when a knock is heard at the door.]

Akane: [mouthful of ice cream] Come in!

[Yuriko enters.]

Yuriko: Is Ranma here?

[Akane shakes her head no and swallows.]

Akane: Ranma went to your place to look for you.

Yuriko: [points] Is that chocolate ice cream?

Akane: Yup. You want some?

Yuriko: No thanks... You do know what chocolate does to you, right?

Akane: Um... what do you mean?

Yuriko: Well, it is scientifically documented that chocolate replaces certain
chemicals in the body that are usually released upon excitement of
various...

[Akane blinks, then slowly sets the ice cream down.]

Yuriko: [sighs] Well anyway, I was looking for Ranma because I found the
experiment I gave him at a restaurant.

Akane: [blinks] We left it there? Wow. Good thing you grabbed it.

Yuriko: [nods] Yes, good thing. If it had come in contact with any alcohol,
who knows what would've happened. I mean, they just throw things in
the dirty dish bin without even looking.

[Akane lets the spoon fall to the floor and puts a hand to her mouth.]

Akane: What did you say about alcohol?

Yuriko: [grins] I said that if this [produces bottle] comes in contact with
alcohol, the results could be disastrous... or not. Alcohol makes the
chemical formula unstable, so there's no telling what will happen.

[Akane gets up quickly and picks up the phone.]

Yuriko: Who are you calling?

Akane: Kasumi. I've got to tell her to keep Ranma there until we get there.

* * *

[Kasumi and Yuriko's apartment. Ranma-chan, wearing a gas mask and standing on
a plastic sheet, is sopping wet. Her blue shirt is now several shades of NOT
blue, her once-black pants are now an eerie charcoal with pink spots, and she
smells of formaldehyde and ammonia. Akane and Kasumi watch from the stairs to
the upper bedrooms as Yuriko, with a clothespin on her nose, continues to mix
chemicals and toss them on Ranma-chan. Finally, Ranma-chan holds up a hand and
removes the gas mask. Her expression is one of frustration mixed with
resignation.]

Ranma-chan: [sighs] Yuriko, I guess we should just give up...
[waves hand in front of her nose] Phew! This stinks!

Yuriko: [shaking her head] Never. I think I've almost got it.

Ranma-chan: At this rate, I could end up a newt because you mixed something up.

Yuriko: That couldn't possibly happen... ne?

Ranma-chan: Stranger things have happened. [looks up at Akane] Can we go now?

Kasumi: Here, Ranma-kun, why don't we get you upstairs and you can wash all
those chemicals off.

Ranma-chan: Good ide...

Yuriko: [interrupting] WAIT! What if something reacts with the water?

Akane: [snorts] If nothing has happened so far, why should it under a shower?

Kasumi: [soothingly] We'll use your distilled water, Yuriko-chan.

Yuriko: [visibly relieved] Ok. But I think you'll have to burn your clothes.

Akane: That's ok. He's got more.

Ranma-chan: Says you! I liked this shirt.

Akane: [grins] Well, now you can go around as a flower child if you want.

Kasumi: It _is_ a nice look for you, Ranma-kun.

Ranma-chan: [sighs loudly] Great. I always wanted to be the poster boy for
some fashion emergency.

Akane: C'mon, let's get you cleaned up.

Kasumi: I have some clothes you can borrow.

Ranma-chan: [walks upstairs] Got any jeans? I think I'm done with silk for the
day. [pulls shirt away from chest] It just gets sticky when wet.

Akane: [grins] Denim it is!

[The two go upstairs. Their footsteps fade as they reach the upper story.]

Yuriko: [resignedly] I guess I'll keep working on this then.

[Kasumi lingers on the upper stair for a little while longer, watching Yuriko
slowly gather up her experimental projects. Yuriko suddenly stops and plops
herself in the middle of the floor, her hands covering her face, her shoulders
shaking.]

Kasumi: [whispering] Yuriko-chan...

* * *

[Ranma and Akane's room. Ranma-chan and Akane are at the table, reading from
two playbooks to help Akane practice a part.]

Akane: [gets up and hunches over as if she was a hunchback, then speaks while
grimacing] Yessss, master, I have brought you the bodies.

Ranma-chan: [stares at her for a moment, then laughs loudly] Ahh, yes, my
twisted minion, you can put them over there. I must go down to the
village and... [starts to laugh] I can't do this with you making
faces at me like that.

Akane: [with a deep, scratchy voice] I'm not making faces, master. Or do you
want me to get you some? [starts to laugh as well]

[There is a knock at the door.]

Akane: [with the deep voice again] I'll get it, master. [shambles over to the
door and opens it] Enter freely and of your own will. [starts to giggle
again as she steps back and lets Hitomi in]

Hitomi: Akane, what are you... [sees the playbooks] Oh, practicing for a scene?
[bows to Ranma-chan] I remember you from the storm the other night.
Thank you. I'm Akiyama Hitomi.

Ranma-chan: Nice to meet ya. I'm...Tendo Ranko, Akane's cousin. I dropped in
for a short visit for a few days.

Hitomi: Where's Ranma? I've got to make plans with him for tomorrow.

Akane: [frowns] He's...He got called out of town by his father for a couple of
days. He won't be back in time.

Hitomi: [eyes widen] But...but...

Akane: Gomen, Hitomi-chan. If I knew of anyone that could pretend to be your
boyfriend, I'd ask.

Ranma-chan: You need someone who can pass as your boyfriend? Someone who can
act just like a guy in love with you, ne? But won't get the wrong
idea?

Hitomi: Right.

Akane: Yeah.

Ranma-chan: Hmm. [thoughtfully] You could ask Ukyou. She's passed as a guy
before.

Akane: [shakes her head] She's leaving tomorrow morning to go to that museum
in Osaka for...whatever she has to do there. [pauses] Or is that next
weekend?

Ranma-chan: Yeah, you're right. [looks at Akane] Hey, I've got an idea. [grins]
You're gonna like this.

Akane: [looks back at Ranma-chan] Hmm?

Ranma-chan: [looking at Akane] Now, who's someone we know who could pass as
her boyfriend and has the talent to _act_ it out well?

Hitomi: I'll let my parents marry me to Choji before I go to Tanaka-san for
this.

Ranma-chan: I ain't thinking about... er, whoever Tanaka is. [looks straight at
Akane] Well, you think you can do it?

Akane: ...

Ranma-chan: My cousin's always been a tomboy. And she's skinny enough that
with a little work, she'll pass. Of course, the hard part'll be
acting like a guy, but I'm sure a great actress like you can
handle it, eh?

Akane: I can't, I mean...I'm married, I mean...

Hitomi: You don't have to do it if you don't want to, Akane, but I would be
really, really grateful.

Akane: Well...

Ranma-chan: Hey, Ranma was married too, but he was gonna do it. And who can
she trust to do this more than another woman? I'd volunteer, but
I could never pass as a guy. [laughs very loudly]

Akane: [looks at Ranma-chan] I just...you really think I can manage this?

Ranma-chan: Acting is what actresses do, right? It's just another role. You'll
be fine.

Akane: [stares at Ranma-chan for a moment, then says] Yeah, it'll be a real
challenge. [hunches over and speaks with the deep voice] You don't mind
dating a hunchback, do you?

Hitomi: ...

Ranma-chan: [laughs] We can dress you up as Gosunkugi.

Akane: With or without candles?

Ranma-chan: With. I've got a good hammer you can use somewhere around here.

Akane: I've got my own hammer. [laughs] Obviously I was born for this role.

[As they joke back and forth, Hitomi wonders what she's gotten into.]

* * *

[Late at night, the upper hallway at the Maison Sabaku. A dark figure comes
sneaking up the stairs and towards room 5, muttering quietly as it stumbles in
the dark, dropping something. It curses again, this time louder. Suddenly, the
door to room 6 opens, and Toshi steps out, framed by the light from his room.]

Toshi: [harshly] Who is there?

[The shadow steps closer, revealing himself as Sato. His shirt is ripped in
several places, and his bare arms show several deep scratches. Also, there are
lipstick smears on his face.]

Sato: It's me.

Toshi: [looks closer] Kami-sama! What happened to you?

Sato: I got mobbed again today. [shudders] Some older women too ... they are
the worst.

Toshi: [chortling quietly] Other people would pay to be so popular with the
girls.

Sato: [grimaces] I doubt it. Thanks for the sympathy, Toshi-kun.

[Sato fetches his dropped keys and opens the door to his apartment as Toshi
turns and vanishes into his again, still chuckling.]

* * *

[Maison Sabaku, the next day, around noon. A silver BMW stops in front of the
house, and two people leave the car. The two are middle-aged, the man almost
painfully thin, with short black hair already greying at the temples and golden
wire-frame glasses. He is dressed in a severe dark grey suit. The slender woman
at his side seems younger, but her black hair also shows a few streaks of
grey.]

Mr. Akiyama: [with a disapproving look at the house] And this is where our
daughter lives?

Mrs. Akiyama: Apparently yes, dear. My poor little girl ...

[They walk up to the house and ring the bell. Kazuya opens the door.]

Kazuya: Yes? Can I help you?

Mr. Akiyama: We want to visit our daughter, Akiyama Hitomi. Does she live here?

Kazuya: [smiling warmly] Why, you must be Akiyama-san. Please, come in. I am
Furuya Kazuyo, the manager of Maison Sabaku.

[The Akiyamas enter the hallway as Kazuyo holds the door open for them.]

Kazuya: Your daughter lives in apartment number two, just down the hall.

Mr. Akiyama: [nods] Arigato.

[He proceeds down the hall, his wife at his side, and knocks on Hitomi's door
as Kazuyo watches them. When Hitomi opens the door, the manager quickly ducks
back into her own apartment.]

Hitomi: Konnichiwa, otou-san, okaa-san.

Mr. Akiyama: Konichiwa, Hitomi. May we come in?

Mrs. Akiyama: [steps forward and hugs Hitomi] My poor girl ... I have missed
you so!

[Mr. Akiyama just sighs as Hitomi extricates herself from the embrace and steps
aside, while his wife composes herself again.]

Hitomi: Please, come in.

[They enter her living room and sit down in silence. Before the silence becomes
awkward, Hitomi speaks.]

Hitomi: So, how are you? Did you get the promotion you were talking about the
last time I was home, father?

Mr. Akiyama: I am well, Hitomi. [sits up straighter, pride evident in his
expression] I am now the assistant to the vice president of
marketing, a position of great responsibility.

Mrs. Akiyama: [smiles softly] I am so proud of him. But how are you doing,
Hitomi-chan? [looks around] And when do we get to meet your
boyfriend?

[Hitomi barely manages not to wince at the -chan. Before she answers, though,
there's a knock at the door.]

Hitomi: [gratefully thinking to herself] Saved!

[She dashes for the door and opens it, ignoring her parents' glances at each
other for her apparent rudeness.]

Hitomi: Hello?

[Kazuyo stands there smiling.]

Kazuyo: Good afternoon, Hitomi-san. I was just thinking that later tonight,
perhaps, you and your family would like to join me for dinner at my
place?

Hitomi: Well, that's not...

Mr. Akiyama: That's gracious of you. We'll accept, domo arigato.

Kazuyo: Oh, and Hitomi-san? You're welcome to bring a friend as well.

Mrs. Akiyama: That's perfect. [looks over at Hitomi] You could invite your
boyfriend.

[Kazuyo's eyes narrows, and she slowly nods to herself, as if confirming
something. Hitomi, though, is utterly shocked.]

Hitomi: Uh, ah...

Mr. Akiyama: What was his name... Sa-

Hitomi: Uh, yes, yes, I'll invite him, honest. In fact... uh... why don't I
call him now?

Kazuyo: [sweetly] That's a good idea. I'd love to meet him as well.

Hitomi: [sweatdrops] Okay. [She bows to her parents] Anyway, I'm sure you must
be exhausted from your long drive here, so... please, rest here while
I go and call him! Be right back!

Mrs. Akiyama: Wait, dear, don't...

[Hitomi bolts out the door before her mom raises a hand to say something.]

Mr. Akiyama: [grumbling] Energetic girl. Gets it from me.

Kazuyo: [smiling] She'll be back soon.

* * *

[Hitomi makes a dash for upstairs for Ranma's apartment, where she starts
banging the door. Half a second later, she peers through the keyhole, then
bangs on the door some more.]

Ranma-chan: [opens the door] There you are. [yanks her in] Come and take a
look.

[Akane stands in the center of the room, nervously combing her hair. She is
wearing a aqua blue buttoned shirt with a gray sweater over it and dark blue
slacks. The shirt is a bit loose, probably because it's sized for someone
larger than her, namely Ranma. The slacks, on the other hand, fit perfectly.
A matching jacket lies on the table]

Akane: How do I look?

Hitomi: [looks her up and down] Your hair is still parted like a girl, and
you've got some mascara on still. [fixes collar of shirt] Otherwise,
great!

Ranma-chan: [blinks] When did you start wearing mascara?

Hitomi: [quickly] No time! Just fix it!

[They quickly wash off Akane's face, and Hitomi recombs Akane's hair as they
head for the door]

Hitomi: Part it over here.

Ranma-chan: [comes over and alters Akane's posture] Not like that. Walk like
this. [walks to demonstrate]

Akane: [tugs at her shirt] Binding my breasts hurts. I can't see how Ukyou
could stand to do this for years.

Ranma-chan: [looks Akane up and down] Ready to go, Hikaru?

Akane: Ready as I'll ever be.

[She takes a deep breath, puts on her jacket, and strides forth to face the
world.]

* * *

[Hitomi's room. Hitomi walks in, arm-in-arm with a very nervous Akane. Her
parents are seated at her table]

Mr. Akiyama: So, then we found out that the...ahh, there you are, Hitomi.

Hitomi: Hi, everyone. This is my boyfriend, Sato Hikaru. Hikaru, these are my
parents.

Akane: Um, hi, nice to meet you. [thinks] What did she give me the same last
name as Sato for?

Mr. Akiyama: [gets up and comes over, shakes Akane's hand] Nice to meet you.
[thinks] Firm grip. Good.

Mrs. Akiyama: I've been wanting to meet you for a long time, ever since Hitomi
told us about how she met you.

Akane: [thinks] Oh great, I didn't think to ask her about that. [says] It was
a surprising experience for both of us.

[Hitomi steers Akane over to a chair and takes another herself]

Hitomi: I should have been more careful working up on the roof that day. I'm
surprised I didn't kill you when I fell off onto you.

Akane: [nods] I was so surprised, I nearly had a heart attack. I thought a
shooting star had fallen on me or something. And you screamed loud
enough to be heard in the next prefecture.

Hitomi: [laughs nervously] Can you blame me?

Akane: [claps her hands] It was fate.

Mr. Akiyama: [laughs] Naoko and I met after she attended the same New Years'
party as my sister. They took each other's jackets home by
mistake, and I got stuck returning the jacket. We hit it off. Our
parents noticed and arranged for us to be wed. She was a great
help to me when I was in college. [looks meaningfully at Hitomi,
who won't meet his gaze]

Mrs. Akiyama: So what do you do for a living, Sato-san?

Akane: I'm a drama major.

Hitomi: [simultaneously] He's an artist.

Akane: [thinking] D'oh. Wait... an artist? I'm an artist?

Mr. Akiyama: So you're in college? Not much money in acting unless you get
lucky and get a big break. I'd suggest picking up another major
as a fallback. Unless you plan to wait tables the rest of your
life. [again looks meaningfully at his daughter, who tries to
ignore the look]

Mrs. Akiyama: We've got the painting of Hitomi that you did hanging in the
living room. It's very good, although the style is rather
different from my usual tastes. I hope we'll get to see some
of your other work before we go.

Akane: I'm afraid I've sold all my paintings; they're how I can afford to go
to college. [looks around the room as she talks] This is my second
year. [thinks] There's gotta be something around here...

Mrs. Akiyama: Looking for something you gave her?

[Akane starts, then looks embarrassed.]

Akane: [shakes her head slowly] I don't see it.

Hitomi: It fell down and the frame broke, and I need to get a new one, so I
put it in the closet.

[Hitomi gets up, goes to the closet, and brings out a canvas. It is a painting
of Maison Sabaku at night, with a full moon and bright stars overhead. Akane
stares at the painting in wonder.]

Mrs. Akiyama: Very nice. You must be a very talented person to do both art
and drama at the same time.

Akane: Er... arigato. [thinks] That looks like something Sato would paint.
I wonder...

[Meanwhile, Mr. Akiyama reaches into his inside jacket pocket and retrieves
his wallet. Pulling some bills from it, he tosses the money on the table.]

Mr. Akiyama: Here, you can use this to get a new frame.

Hitomi: [blinks] Thanks, father.

Mrs. Akiyama: So what roles have you played, Sato-san?

Akane: Well, my first play, I was Romeo in Romeo and Juliet. [thinks] And now
I get to start lying my ass off.

Hitomi: [quickly] Show them the part for the play you're working on right now.

Akane: Eh, oh you mean... [laughs, stands and slumps over, contorting herself
strangely and speaking with a deep scratchy voice] Yesss, misstress
Hitomi. Your humble servant Igor lives to obey. [galumphs over to the
parents] So these are your parents? Should I prepare the mind transfer
machine?

Mrs. Akiyama: [laughs] I hope you don't do that on your dates.

Akane: [straightens up] That's where Romeo comes in handy.

* * *

[The manager's room. The table is set for dinner, and Kazuyo is waiting for
them to arrive. There is a knock at the door.]

Kazuyo: [as she answers the door] Come in. [does a double take when she sees
Akane]

Hitomi: [desperately] Is something wrong? Is this a bad time?

Kazuyo: No, no, come in, come in.

[Kazuyo gets the teapot to pour some tea as everyone comes inside.]

Hitomi: Where should we all sit?

Kazuyo: You and your boyfriend can sit over on this side, and your parents on
the other, and I'll sit at the end.

[She comes and pours them tea as everyone settles down]

Kazuyo: [to Akane] I see you've taken up a new acting challenge.

Akane: [very nervously] You know me. I just can't stop.

Kazuyo: Indeed.

Hitomi: Hikaru has been practicing for ...what's the play again? Something
about creatures.

Akane: 'The Creature Creeps'. It's just a silly little play we're doing in
one of my classes because the instructor is probably insane. I am Igor,
the hunchback assistant of the mad scientist. And Lardy gets to be the
Creature. [laughs]

Kazuyo: [brings the food to the table] So how long have you two been dating?

Hitomi: About six months, I think.

Kazuyo: Sounds rather serious to me. Set a wedding date yet?

Akane: [twitches] We're not ready to go that far yet.

Kazuyo: You've both been good tenants. [sits down] Let's eat.

[They begin to eat, talking at the same time]

Mr. Akiyama: You both live here?

Kazuyo: Yes. Separate apartments, I assure you. Perhaps Hikaru should show
you his apartment later. It's quite nice.

Akane: [quickly] It's a complete disaster area right now.

Kazuyo: [smiling] I'd be happy to help you make it presentable.

Akane: [thinks] I'm dead. Oh wait, maybe Ranma's contingency plan will come in
useful after all...

Hitomi: That's very kind of you, Kazuyo, but it's not your duty to clean our
rooms. I keep telling Hikaru he needs to stop putting it off, but...
[sighs] College keeps one busy.

Akane: I'll be back in a moment.

[Akane goes to the bathroom, where Ranma-chan is sitting on the sink.]

Akane: Kazuyo-san is making noises about the parents visiting our room.

Ranma-chan: So you need me to go make it look like a guy's room?

Akane: Maybe.

Ranma-chan: Well, if things go bad, I've got a plan, so don't panic,
whatever you do.

Akane: Hitomi had better appreciate this.

Ranma-chan: Hey... er..

Akane: Nani?

Ranma-chan: Flush the toilet. That way they don't think ...

Akane: Right!

[Akane flushes the toilet and goes back out.]

Mr. Akiyama: I am now the assistant to the Vice President of Marketing.

Kazuyo: And what do you do?

Mr. Akiyama: I am typically assigned various projects to watch over and
periodically report on to him. Most of my current assignments
are in our food sales division. We're trying to expand our sales
to restaurants.

Mrs. Akiyama: [proudly] Mr. Torimoto invited my husband to golf with him after
the sales in Hokkaido doubled. We were quite excited.

Mr. Akiyama: [nods] I lost, but it was quite an honor.

Kazuyo: So when do you plan to enter college, Hitomi?

Hitomi: When I can pay for it myself. I don't wish to burden my parents with
the expense.

Mrs. Akiyama: We'd be happy to help.

Mr. Akiyama: You'll take years to earn it, working as a waitress.

Hitomi: It won't take me too much longer to have enough to get started if all
goes well.

Kazuyo: If you don't hurry, Hikaru will graduate before you do, and likely
have to leave town to get work. Not much work for actors around here.

Mr. Akiyama: [gets up] Excuse me.

[He heads for the bathroom. As he opens the door, Ranma-chan leaps back into
the shower to hide]

Mr. Akiyama: [thinking] Did I hear someone in here? No, looks empty. Although
it could be... no, I'm just being paranoid.

[He does his business and departs. Ranma-chan gets back out of the shower.]

Ranma-chan: [thinking] I should've thought that before I chose to hide in
here.

[As the evening progresses, Ranma-chan has to hide in the shower several more
times. On the fourth time, it's Akane again.]

Akane: They want me to show them around campus tomorrow.

Ranma-chan: That's a problem?

Akane: Someone might recognize me! You'll have to run interference for me.

Ranma-chan: Tomorrow is Saturday. No classes. But I'll do it. Everything else
going okay?

Akane: [flushes the toilet] As long as we don't start talking about sports,
I'll be fine.

[Akane goes back out. Kazuyo is serving dessert]

Mr. Akiyama: Kazuyo-san tells me you're quite the baseball fan, Hikaru.

Akane: ...

Mr. Akiyama: Who do you think will win tomorrow's big game?

Akane: Umm...hold on, I forgot to wash my hands.

[She ducks back in the bathroom.]

Akane: Who's going to win tomorrow's big baseball game?

Ranma-chan: Probably the Yakult Swallows. The Hanshin Tigers have a pretty bad\
pitching staff this year.

Akane: Thanks.

[Akane runs the sink for a few minutes, then comes out.]

Akane: Probably the Swallows. They're up against a weak pitching staff this
time.

Mr. Akiyama: My thoughts exactly. What about the Giants-Ham Fighters game? I'm
thinking the Ham Fighters have the edge in that one.

Akane: [thinking] Where's a random kidnapping when I need one?

* * *

[The next day, at Chez Funsui. Things are going slowly, as the lunch rush has
peaked and is beginning to ebb. Hitomi sits down at a table to rest for a
minute.]

Hitomi: They should be here by now.

Co-worker: Who?

Hitomi: My parents.

Co-worker: [points to the door] Those people?

[Hitomi's parents and 'Hikaru' have just come in the door]

Hitomi: [stands and waves] Over here!

[They come over and sit down.]

Mrs. Akiyama: Sato-san gave us a nice tour of the campus. I think you'll like
it very much when you start school there next year.

Mr. Akiyama: [looks around the kissaten] It sounded more impressive in your
letters.

Hitomi: [sharply] It's a nice place. Very simple. Not that you've ever had any
appreciation for simplicity.

Mrs. Akiyama: [loudly] Don't talk like that to your father.

[Hitomi and her father glare at each other for a moment.]

Mr. Akiyama: [grudgingly] Your uniform looks very nice.

Hitomi: [softens] Thank you.

Akane: The food is very good.

[Ranma-chan quietly slips in the door and takes a booth positioned between
them and the bathroom.]

Mrs. Akiyama: We'd like it if you and Hikaru could come down to visit us
during his next break from school. We hardly ever get to see you
any more.

Hitomi: [nervously] I...uh...I mean, you're pretty busy most of the time,
aren't you, Hikaru?

Mr. Akiyama: We already worked out a time with Sato-san.

Akane: [looks like a deer in headlights] It won't be for a few months, but...

Hitomi: Let me take your order and get you some lunch, okay?

[She takes their orders and thinks desperately.]

* * *

[A little later. Ranma-chan is nursing a drink as Akane stops at her booth.]

Akane: Kill me now.

Ranma-chan: Hitomi can fake your death or something. It ain't like ya gotta go
back home with them for a visit right now.

Akane: [twitches] You're not the one on the hot seat right now!

Ranma-chan: Never thought I'd ever be grateful for something Yuriko did,
but... [laughs] It'll only be a few more hours.

Akane: In hell.

Ranma-chan: Try being Ryouga's fiancee.

Akane: Let's not give the universe any ideas.

* * *

[A little later. Mr. Akiyama is heading into the kitchen with the manager,
while everyone else eats their lunch.]

Mr. Akiyama: Now, if you switch distributors you can increase your profits
by ... [vanishes out of sight into the kitchen with the manager]

Hitomi: He just can't stop.

Mrs. Akiyama: I had to prevent him selling leftovers from our wedding as
authentic souvenirs. [shakes her head] Your father loves his
work.

Akane: We got held up because he got into a debate with one of the business
professors we ran into.

Hitomi: [sighs] There's more to life than money.

Mrs. Akiyama: It's not the money he likes, it's the persuading people part.
And he cares about you very much, Hitomi. He just doesn't know
how to show it sometimes.

[Akane sits uncomfortably, clearly wishing she didn't have to sit in the
middle of this discussion.]

Hitomi: He wanted me to go off to business school and become a good little
corporate drone like all his boring friends! [begins pacing about]
I don't want to spend my life in an office shoving papers around and
dealing with all the mindless office politics! That's why I'm here;
I want to earn enough money so I can pay my own way through school and
do what I want to do. [frowns] Every boyfriend I've ever had, father
told me the guy would be bad for me because he wouldn't make enough
money to support me. I don't want to be supported! I want to support
myself!

Man from two tables down: [angrily] Hey, can I get some service around here?

Hitomi: [wearily] Pardon me, mother, I have to work. [heads over to the man]

Mrs. Akiyama: [turns to Akane] She can be so stubborn.

Akane: [nods] I know.

Mrs. Akiyama: [worriedly] We just want her to... to make something of herself.
Especially if she isn't going to get married any time soon. A
job like this is just a dead end, and... Are you two planning to
get married? Seriously.

Akane: [nervously] We hadn't really talked about it.

Mrs. Akiyama: She needs to do college now, while she still can, and not keep
putting it off. Before it's too late.

[She and Akane look at each other.]

Akane: I think she'll do it before it's too late. I think she just needed to
get away from home for a while, so she could feel like her own person.
Daddy never really encouraged me to act or... to paint. He wanted me to
be a martial artist like him and run the family dojo, but I wanted
something more. It's not that I don't like martial arts, I just... at
one point they were I all knew, but then ... things changed, and
suddenly martial arts weren't something I wanted to build my life
around. I had to get out of the house before I went mad.

Mrs. Akiyama: Yes, Hitomi told us that you've done a lot of traveling.

Akane: [thinking] I wonder where I've been. [says] Has she ever told you about
my trip to Ryugenzawa?

Mrs. Akiyama: No, I don't think so.

Akane: Well, it started when I was a small child...

* * *

[Later, back at Maison Sabaku. Sato is taking off his shoes as Akane and
Hitomi's parents arrive, sans Hitomi.]

Sato: Good afternoon, A...

Akane: [interrupts him] Ahh, I see my brother got here early. Ichiro-kun,
these are Hitomi's parents.

Sato: [bows] It's a pleasure to meet you. [thinks] Brother? Why is she dressed
as a guy?

Mrs. Akiyama: Your brother has been kind enough to show us around town. Now
we're just going to go to our daughter's room and wait for her
to get home so we can all go out to dinner, and then we're
heading for home.

Mr. Akiyama: [glances back out the door] The redhead is watching us again.

Mrs. Akiyama: There is not someone following us, dear.

Sato: A red haired female with a pig-tail?

Mr. Akiyama: Exactly!

Sato: [glances over at Akane] A jealous ex-girlfriend of my brother, I think.
Mind if I take him aside for a moment while you go upstairs? We'll deal
with her.

Mr. Akiyama: Thank you. I was starting to worry that Sony was sending its
spies after me again.

Mrs. Akiyama: [rolls her eyes] Of course they were. Come on, dear.

[They head upstairs. Once they are out of sight...]

Sato: WHAT is going on here?

Akane: [laughs nervously] Hitomi told her parents she had a boyfriend so they
wouldn't start looking for a husband for her. But then they wanted to
meet him, and Ranma's gotten... stuck.

Sato: Stuck?

Akane: Yuriko tried to cure him, but instead, she just... got him stuck in his
girl body and... oh man, he's going to miss all his classes on Monday!

Sato: Don't change the subject. So why did you say you were my brother?

Akane: Apparently, she told them his name was Sato, and so... I just panicked,
okay?

Sato: So what is your first name today?

Akane: Hikaru. After this guy we knew in school.

Sato: [nods] Well, _brother_, I'll play along, but I'm going to have to scream
and shout a lot at your _girlfriend_ later.

Akane: [twitches] I kept being afraid her mom would try to get me to kiss
Hitomi.

Sato: It's not that bad an experience.

Akane: You've never been a woman.

Yutaga: Give him time. [snickers]

Akane: Hey, did you hear...

Sato: [sighs] Yutaga, if you don't stay quiet, I'll go to the mall every day
for the next decade.

Yutaga: You'd die.

Sato: If you say ANYTHING, I'll die anyway.

Akane: Why are you talking to your shadow? [pauses] And why is it talking back
to you?

Sato: Long story short, I got a goddess angry at me.

Akane: [pauses to look quizzically at Sato] This goddess... She's not going to
show up in the middle of this and try to get me to marry her or
something, is she?

Sato: ...

Akane: Just making sure.

* * *

[Later. Hitomi's room. Everyone is seated around Hitomi's table, as Sato and
Akane regale them with tales of things that never happened]

Akane: [excitedly] So then the helicopter takes off, and Ichiro gets his foot
tangled in the cord, and it lifts him into the air, and I tried to pull
him down, but it carried me up into the air. So, we're flying over the
mountains screaming at the end of a rope.

Sato: The pilot kept trying to bang us into the mountainsides. If we'd been
thinking clearly, we'd have just dropped off, but we were panicked and...

Mr. Akiyama: [laughs] You two should go into writing.

Sato: Perhaps.

Mr. Akiyama: [grins] It just sounds too good to be true.

Akane: [sheepishly] It is.

Sato: Well, it's a real temple, but it's not guarded by frog-men and our
parents didn't send us to blow it up.

Mrs. Akiyama: I think it would make a good movie, though.

Sato: [to Akane] Perhaps our sister Nabiki would be interested in financing
it, eh?

Akane: ...

Sato: Our sister is a business major here. She's promoting a hot new band these
days. I don't suppose you've heard of Takizushi? They even offered Hitomi
a backup singer position. Nabiki has a lot of investments for someone her
age.

Mr. Akiyama: Good for her. Sounds like she's making something of her life.
[pauses, unable to give Hitomi a meaningful look as his instincts
dictate]

Mrs. Akiyama: [pats his hand] You can save the lecture for when your daughter
is actually here, dear.

[Mr. Akiyama looks embarrassed.]

Sato: She should be home soon.

[The door opens and Hitomi walks in.]

Hitomi: Sorry I'm late. This idiot dropped a box of... [stares at Sato] What
are YOU doing here?

Sato: I came to visit my _brother_. I didn't expect to meet your parents as
well, but it's interesting talking to them. So when ARE you and Hikaru
getting married?

Hitomi: [twitches] I'm still trying to recover from the way my last boyfriend
dumped me with no explanation. So I'm not quite feeling up to marriage
right now, thank you.

Mrs. Akiyama: [blinks] I don't remember you telling us about that one.

Sato: I seem to remember him having reasons for it.

Hitomi: [storms over to him] But it doesn't matter if he doesn't TELL anyone
why! And then comes back and tries to act like NONE of it had EVER
happened!

Mrs. Akiyama: [to Akane] Do you know what they're talking about? Did she date
one of your brother's friends?

Akane: [nervously] We don't exactly chat about her old boyfriends.

Sato: There are things you can't just tell people! It would have made you even
more angry than you got if you KNEW!

Hitomi: [pokes him in the chest] You and your 'things man was not meant to
know!' You don't just DUMP someone without telling them why! I call it
COWARDICE!

Sato: [gets up] Cowardice? I've faced down things that would eat you in three
seconds without even REALIZING they'd done it! [pokes her in the chest]
I don't see you going out and dealing with the horrors that lurk in the
shadows waiting to wreak havoc!

Mr. Akiyama: So how long did Hitomi go out with your brother?

Akane: It was months ago, before I moved in here. I... uh... met her through
him.

Mrs. Akiyama: I thought she fell off the roof onto you?

Hitomi: I don't see you dealing with anything NORMAL! [shoves him] You've got
no job, no friends who aren't weirdos, you don't ever tell anyone
anything until it's too late, and you're the most infuriating man I've
ever met IN MY LIFE!

Sato: At least I don't lie to my parents and drag other people into it! You've
never seen me use other people as pawns for my own benefit!

Hitomi: I don't run away from my problems like you!

Sato: Inventing an imaginary boyfriend so you don't have to deal with your
parents wanting you to get married isn't running away? [getting louder
and louder] Running off to another city and wasting your life as a
waitress when you could make something a LOT better out of yourself just
to get away from them isn't running away?

[The parents turn and stare at Akane, who begins to shrink in on herself.]

Akane: [thinking] This can't possibly get any worse.

[Ranma-chan charges in the door, dressed in one of Akane's blue sundresses,
glasses, and a floppy hat. The dress doesn't fit very well, and she's still
wearing sneakers.]

Ranma-chan: [points at Akane] So, you ARE two-timing me!

Akane: ...

Mr. Akiyama: WHAT is going on here?

Hitomi and Sato: [in unison] We're having a fight!

Hitomi: Coming here was the only way I could ever live my life the way I want!

Sato: What, they were going to lock you in chains and hold you in the
basement?

Hitomi: You know what I mean! And what about YOU? You still haven't explained
WHY you ran off without ANY explanation!

Ranma-chan: [picks up Akane] You'll pay for this! [whispers to her] This has
gone south. Let's get out while we still can.

Akane: [whispers back] I don't want to run out on Hitomi, but...

Mr. Akiyama: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

Mrs. Akiyama: Everyone out! We have to talk to our daughter. [begins herding
Sato out the door]

Hitomi: This is my apartment. You can't throw my guests out!

Mrs. Akiyama: Well, if you want them to stay...

Hitomi: [sighs] Everyone, just... go home. I'm sorry. [sags]

[Ranma-chan, Akane, and Sato head out into the hallway.]

Akane: So you and Hitomi dated?

Sato: [sighs] Yes.

Ranma-chan: What happened?

Sato: I don't want to talk about it. It's between us. But I'm sorry you all got
dragged into this. If I'd known her parents were coming... well, it
wouldn't have been like this. [to Akane] You know, I think that story we
made up might make a good movie.

Akane: You're serious?

Sato: I've always wanted to try writing, but I never had any good ideas. Well,
we can discuss this later. I need to go brood. [departs]

Akane: ...

Ranma-chan: [laughs] Well, this was a disaster, but you weren't half-bad as a
guy. You don't fake it as well as I can fake being a woman if
I have to, but I do have more experience.

Akane: I hope Yuriko finds a solution for your problem soon, or you're going to
get a lot of practice at that. Not to mention attending your classes is
gonna be tricky.

Ranma-chan: ...

Akane: No more Dr. Tofu to forge sick notes for you, either. Too bad Kasumi
isn't a doctor yet.

Ranma-chan: Hmm, if we get you a wig...

Akane: [backs up] Oh no, I am NOT going to go to your classes and try to pass
myself off as you.

Ranma-chan: Well, you'd have a hard time with my phys. ed classes, but as long
as you just brought the homework for me to do and...

Akane: [waves her hands] Oh no, this is the only time I'm doing something like
this, ever.

Ranma-chan: Well, it's that or I have to miss my classes until Yuriko fixes
this. If ever. [frowns] This had better wear off.

Akane: [sighs] Your turn to cook dinner. You can fix it while I go change
myself back to normal.

[They go home.]

* * *

[We see Sato sitting on his bed, looking at a photo album. One of the pictures
shows him and Hitomi, holding hands in front of the Torii at a Shinto Shrine.
Another one shows her chasing him around a tennis court, waving the racket like
a sword. The third one visible is of her in her work uniform, doing a 'v'
salute, in front of Chez Funsui. And the fourth one is of her holding a camera,
apparently in the process of taking a picture of whoever took this one.]

Yutaga: Time to be maudlin?

Sato: Be quiet or I'll go to the mall again.

Yutaga: [shudders] I know they can't actually hurt me, but... it just feels
like I ought to be in pain when people walk on me. And I can't see
anything but feet. [pauses] Do women always mob you like that?

Sato: Ever since I got cursed.

Yutaga: What, Kuan Yin threw this in to make my life miserable?

Sato: No, it happened about a year ago. I defeated K'zgar, the evil spirit of
used panty vending machines, and...

Yutaga: The WHAT?

Sato: [scratches his head] Or was it Dishorga, the evil ghost of Mount Nataka?

Yutaga: [skeptically] No Japanese spirit would have a stupid sounding name
like 'Dishorga'.

Sato: Now I remember. It was a corrupt spirit at a school for girls. I
defeated it, and it tried to put the curse of the Maenads upon me.

Yutaga: The what?

Sato: The idea was that every woman I met would frenzy and try to kill me.
I tried to prevent the curse taking hold, but I only managed to alter it.
Now, women become irrationally attracted to me and mob me. Which usually
results in a beating when they become desperate and all try to carry me
off at once. And I can't do anything about it. [sighs] At least that I
know of.

Yutaga: Well, that's not so bad.

Sato: It is if you're trying to tell if someone really likes you or if it's
just magic affecting their minds.

Yutaga: [looks at Sato, then the book, then Sato again] Like Akiyama.

Sato: Exactly. I started to worry that she might not really like me, that it
might just be the magic talking.

Yutaga: So you did something stupid.

Sato: [ignores insult] I had to leave without telling her, because she would
have been insulted if I'd told her the truth. I was hoping to find a way
to break the curse, but all the omens just led me back here.

Yutaga: Dumping her with no explanation or warning was better than telling her
the truth? No wonder you managed to make a goddess of MERCY mad at
you.

Sato: [sighs] It wasn't one of my better plans.

* * *

[Yuriko's lab. Ranma-chan, Akane, Kasumi, and Yuriko are here. Ranma-chan is
seated in front of a very large speaker, looking nervous]

Ranma-chan: What does thing do?

Yuriko: I'm going to use hypersound to cause the formula I used on you to
break down and cease to function.

Kasumi: Don't you mean ultrasound? [looks at the speaker] I don't remember the
ultrasound machine just being a speaker.

Yuriko: That's because this is hypersound.

[Everyone else looks nervously at each other.]

Yuriko: [hands out earplugs to everyone] Put these in; they'll protect your
hearing.

[Everyone puts the earplugs in their ears.]

Yuriko: [goes over the the controls] Everyone ready?

[No one replies.]

Yuriko: [turning around] I said, is everyone ready?

[Again, no one replies.]

Yuriko: Ev...Hmm, I guess the earplugs work better than expected.

[Yuriko shrugs, turns the dial to eleven, and flicks the on switch. There is a
loud blast of sound, and Ranma-chan goes flying across the room into the wall,
which cracks. She then falls backwards and lies stunned. Everyone else staggers
about, vibrating. Yuriko flickes the switch to off, gets a kettle off a hot
plate, goes over, and pours it on Ranma-chan, who turns male.]

Yuriko: A complete success.

[Everyone takes out their earplugs.]

Akane: [irritated] I could FEEL that.

Yuriko: That's why you needed the earplugs. [helps Ranma up] You shouldn't have
any more trouble, except that well...

Ranma: [frowns] What?

[Yuriko whispers in his ear.]

Ranma: It'll turn GREEN?

Yuriko: Well, your body has to flush the broken down chemicals out. But
that's the only side effect. [frowns] If you experience anything else
odd, come to me immediately. [sits down and sighs] Gomen. I just
wanted to try and get rid of your condition because it's my fault, and
without another subject, it's hard to test anything.

Ranma: Well, I spilled the stuff on myself instead of drinking it, so it's
not all your fault. [stretches] And I'm seriously glad to be back to
normal. But that's enough experiments with cures for me for a while.

Yuriko: I'd like to do some more experiments to try to cure your condition.
[stares at the ground] But I'll understand if you don't want to take
the risk.

Ranma: Not right now. Maybe once everything calms down.

Akane: We'd best be going.

Kasumi: See you later, Akane-chan.

Akane: Bye, oneechan. [hugs Kasumi, then drags Ranma out the door]

Ranma: Bye!

Yuriko: At least I managed to fix my mistake this time.

Kasumi: It would be better if you learned not to make the mistake in the
first place.

Yuriko: [goes and puts the kettle back on the hot pad] It might have worked
if he'd taken it correctly.

Kasumi: You really think so?

Yuriko: [sighs] I don't even understand what went wrong with it, although I
now know it was far too sensitive to various potential contaminants.
[wilts a bit more] I don't even understand exactly how I caused his
condition in the first place. I mean, it's hard to correct something
when you don't even know the cause.

Kasumi: [puts a hand on her shoulder] That one wasn't your fault.

Yuriko: Yes it was. It started after he tried to help me with one of my
experiments. Maybe I should just give up on science and do something
where I can't cause a disaster. [buries her face in her hands] It's
like everything I touch crumbles to dust. Maybe I have the science
equivalent of a black thumb.

Kasumi: You just need to be more careful, Yuriko. You can't fix all the
problems of the world in a day.

Yuriko: It's just so hard to be patient.

Kasumi: [sits down] You remind me of my sister. She was just the same as you
with cooking. She couldn't be patient, couldn't go slow because she
wanted results now, and in the end, every time she cooked, it was a
disaster. I think Father nearly choked to death one time.

Yuriko: [nods] I've heard stories about that.

Kasumi: There's a lot more riding on your work than just dinner, Yuriko.
People could get hurt if you don't learn to be more careful and do
things the right way. You could get hurt, and destroy your career.
I know it's hard to be patient when you're learning, but... Gomen,
I'm lecturing. [gets up] I'm going to go fix dinner.

Yuriko: No, I... you're right. I'll be down in a little while.

Kasumi: [pauses at the top of the stairs] So was that anything special, or did
you just turn your stereo up all the way?

Yuriko: I tested the chemicals I used on him and sufficient sound caused them
to break down. But yes, it was the stereo turned up all the way.

Kasumi: [nods] Dinner will be ready in about an hour.

Yuriko: See you then.

[Kasumi departs, leaving Yuriko to stare thoughtfully at all of her equipment.]

* * *

[Later, the backyard of Maison Sabaku. Sato is stretched out on the grass,
looking up at the stars. Hitomi approaches him.]

Sato: How did it go?

Hitomi: [lies down on the grass near him] It was better than being eaten by
crazed weasels. Maybe.

Sato: So when do you meet your future husband?

Hitomi: Better than that. They're both still pretty mad, but I think they
understood why I did it. [pauses] They like you.

Sato: [glances over at her] Is that good or bad?

Hitomi: Good, I think. [rolls over to face him] Will I ever find out why...

Sato: I'm under a curse. Ever noticed how I get mobbed by flocks of women?

Hitomi: Eh, what's that got to do with anything?

Sato: A little while before I met you, I defeated an evil spirit. It tried to
curse me so everyone woman I met would try to rip me apart. [rolls over
to face her] I managed to partly deflect it, but they still try to carry
me off, and I get mobbed, but it's because they're attracted and want
to... keep me. It only works on single women, thank goodness, so I've
never been beaten by anyone's husband.

Hitomi: I still don't get what that has to...oh. [frowns] So you think...

Sato: I panicked when I thought of that. I couldn't just tell you... you'd
have flipped out whether or not it was true, and I had no way to tell.

Hitomi: I'd have thought you were looking for an excuse to dump me, but were
too dumb to come up with a good one.

Sato: Plus, I'd been feeling like I had to... I don't know, I've been trying
to figure out what to do with myself. I mean, I sort of knew, but I
didn't know where to go or who to do it with. But now I won't be going
anywhere because my master stuck me with his shrine. [sighs] Arranged
marriage to a building.

Hitomi: [laughs] Perhaps you have to stop looking in order to find what you're
looking for.

Sato: ...

Hitomi: That's the Zen... no, Taoist? I can't remember. That thing of doing by
not doing. Sometimes, you just have to be instead of always trying to
do. Whatever that means.

Sato: No, I think you're exactly right. I've been running around without
knowing where I'm going, and you never get anywhere doing that. And all
the omens led me back here anyway. Thank you, Hitomi.

Hitomi: [nods] You're welcome. So...what about us?

Sato: [stares intently at a blade of grass] I still... I didn't leave because
I didn't like you.

Hitomi: I can't just go back to how we were before, but I wish... I want...
You know what I mean.

Sato: How about if we just try again from the start? Maybe go on a date and
work from there.

Hitomi: [with a warning tone] If you miss this one because the Seven Deadly
Sins have escaped from their prison on the Rock of Eternity again...

Sato: They did escape! I had to go!

Hitomi: [dryly] Strange that they had such good timing to enable you to get
out of going to the Yakusho Koji film festival.

Sato: Every dark cloud has a silver lining.

Hitomi: Uh huh. Well, you can go see his latest movie with me on Friday. Be
ready at seven. And if any evil spirits escape, they'll just have to
wait until Saturday to play with you. Because if you don't show up...

Sato: [dryly] I'll let the spirits know there's a moratorium on escaping their
ancient prisons. I'm sure they'll be happy to cooperate.

Hitomi: [jumps to her feet] So remember, be there on Friday. No spirits, no
excuses, no evil gods.

Yutaga: Hmm, where is my rolodex...

Hitomi: [blinks] What?

Sato: Yutaga, SHUT UP.

Yutaga: Hmm, what all fun things can I do on a date...

Hitomi: Where's that voice coming from... Sato, what have you done this time?

Sato: [begins to sweat] I angered the goddess of mercy.

Hitomi: Hmph! Sounds about right. Well, come with me, and you can tell me all
about it.

Yutaga: Well, it all started when I was just a little shade...

Sato: YUTAGA!

[Fade to black as they head into the house.]

===============================================================================
finis.
===============================================================================

There's a dark cloud ahead +---------------------------------------+
A place we can't see | Writers: ............... David Tai |
We don't know what tomorrow holds | ........ Christian Bremer |
But believe you me | ........... Paul Gallegos |
| ....... John Walter Biles |
Take it one day at a time | ............. Jeff Hosmer |
Don't try to hide +---------------------------------------+
Take the reins of your life | Artist: ...... Alexandra Teixeira |
Make a choice - gotta decide 'cause +---------------------------------------+
| DnR Companion: Mike "Nelson" Gulick |
You get one chance +---------------------------------------+
One chance to get it right | Special Thanks to: ............ J., |
That's what I was told | Tucson Animation Screening Society, |
But after all this time | and of course Rumiko Takahashi |
I'm living my life +---------------------------------------+
And now I know | Copyright (c) 2000 |
There's always a second chance | Digital Knight Communications |
Take it one day at a time +---------------------------------------+

===============================================================================
"Ranma 1/2" and its characters Copyright (c) 2000
Viz Communications, Inc., Shogakukan, Kitty Animation
and Rumiko Takahashi
===============================================================================