[Ranma][Fanfic] The Death of Love

[Stephen Pardue]

As always, all rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, etc, etc...

The Death of Love
==============

Death
*****

It's funny, how not having something good can hurt more than
having something bad. If you'd told me that last week, I would've
laughed. I mean, it sounds stupid, right? That's what I thought
anyway.

It's even funnier that I didn't know I had something good until it
was gone. I had it good, better than I ever will again, and now, no
matter what happens, no matter how well I do, that something
will be gone, and its absence will cause me pain for as long as I
live.

When Ranma was hurt, I realized I loved him. His insults, his
arrogance, his fiancees, none of it mattered. I loved him. I loved
him more than anyone I've ever known. May the gods help me, I
think I loved Ranma more than I loved my own mother.

And now that he's gone, I know I did. When my mother died, I
got over it. Sounds horrible doesn't it? To say 'I got over it' about
my own mother's death? Makes it sound like I failed a test or
something. But I did. The scary thing is that I don't think I will
ever get over Ranma's death.

When Ranma lay dying in my arms, his life blood spilling out of
that gaping hole in his chest, I felt my heart breaking. It was
actually a physical pain. Not some imagined ache in my mind, not
some arcane, magical agony, but real, physical pain.

Thinking back, I believe I felt Ranma die. I could tell you the
exact moment when his heart stopped and his soul left his body. It
hurt so much that I thought I was going to drop dead right there.
Sometimes I think I did.

I woke up in my bed. Kasumi was sitting with me, wiping my
forehead with a damp cloth. She had her sad smile #2 on -- the
one that said that she was really sorry that the man you loved just
died and that you were feeling bad, but dinner needed to be
cooked and she needed a few ingredients from the store, and
would you mind getting the items on this list for her?

I was shocked too. It was a thought I hadn't thought myself
capable of. I'd never thought anything like that about Kasumi
before. I just told myself that I was still upset over Ranma's death.
I was the bereaved, damn it, I had a right to think a few unkind
thoughts!

Anyway, Kasumi smiled, and hugged me. She said she was so
sorry. I think she was expecting me to break down and cry. The
fact that I didn't should have told me something was wrong.
Instead I just nodded, thanked her, and asked if I could take a
bath. Kasumi seemed a little shocked about my attitude. She
wanted me to stay in bed, she said she'd bring a little bit of soup
up for me. I just stood up and left the room. No point in
wallowing around in bed moping.

As I walked down the hallway, I could hear weeping coming from
Ranma's room. The door was open just a little bit, and through the
crack I could see Ranma's mother on his bed, sobbing. For a
woman ready to have her son commit suicide over his manliness,
or lack thereof, she sure was a wimp.

I didn't enjoy the bath as much as I thought I would. It was nice
and all, and it did freshen me up, but it sure didn't improve my
attitude any. By then even I was starting to notice that maybe my
feelings were a little. . . off.

I ate dinner with the rest of the family. Dad was at his usual place,
sobbing into his newspaper, the bastard. He'd pulled this crap
every day since Mom died. I got over my mother's death just fine,
why the hell couldn't he? I could sympathize with him, I'd just lost
the love of my life, after all, but did you see me crying into my
food? And what was Ranma to him anyway? Just a complete
stranger he picked to give his youngest daughter to. He might as
well have picked a bum off the street, for all he cared.

Nabiki sat at the table, looking perfectly normal. Every now and
then she'd look at the space next to me. Sometimes she looked a
little crestfallen, sometimes she sighed a little sorrowfully. Some
people might think she was showing her grief as well as she
could. Me, I figure she was just starting to miss the yen she used
to make off Ranma. She even sold pictures of me, her own sister,
the damn money grubbing bitch.

Ranma's father sat in silence. The son of a bitch. If I hadn't known
before, I knew now that he really didn't care about his family. If
he did, he'd be up comforting his wife instead of down here
feeding his face.

About then Kasumi walked in, carrying the last plate. She sat it at
Ranma's place. Everyone at the table, even Nabiki, gasped and
looked at me. Kasumi immediately started to take the plate,
apologizing for her mistake. I just shook my head and picked up
the plate.

I told Kasumi not to worry about it. I took a pair of chopsticks and
slid the food off the plate and onto Mr. Saotome's. I smiled at him.
Everyone knew he wanted it anyway. As I started to eat I heard
Dad crying into his paper again. Bastard.

After dinner I went upstairs to my room. I guess the events of the
day left me a little tired. As I passed Ranma's room I noticed that
his mother had cried herself to sleep. Good. At least she wouldn't
keep me up with her spineless sobbing.

When I got to my door I found P-chan waiting to be let in. I
picked the little porker up by the bandanna he always wore
around his neck. I tried to take it off once, but there was just
another one beneath it, and another one beneath that. Weird, huh?
Anyway, I'd only let him sleep with me because he made Ranma
jealous. I took him outside and dropped him on the ground.

Finally I was back in my room, in my pajamas, and in bed. I
suffered through the visits by Dad and Kasumi. Nabiki didn't
bother to come, which was fine with me. After Kasumi left I
locked my door.

And that's when it hit me. The pain. At first I was relieved.
Finally I could cry and grieve and get over it. Just like with Mom.
Like I said before, even I had seen that my emotions weren't
normal. But the tears still wouldn't come. I lay in my bed, on top
of the covers, and the tears *still wouldn't come*!

Even now, when I close my eyes I can see Ranma's dead body,
cradled in my arms, and I feel the moment coming when my heart
will stop, and I know that I'm going to die, and the moment comes
and I can feel the tension in my chest now as I relive it and it's
here and. . .

Nothing.

I feel nothing.

And the nothing hurts more than *anything* I have ever felt
because I should feel *something*. I want to feel something, but I
don't, oh god, why don't I feel anything?

That's what made me realize that I don't love Ranma anymore. Or
Dad or Kasumi or Nabiki or the Saotomes or my friends or. . . or
even myself. It's just gone. And I know I should, I know I did, I
know I want to. . . but. . . I don't.

And that's how I know not having something good hurts more
than having something bad.

Ambivalence
**********

It's been a while now since Ranma died, and I guess I'm handling
my new feelings, or lack of them, better. That first night, I
thought that surely I was imagining things, that after a while I'd
remember how to love my family.

Well, after three months, they still sucked.

I say that in the kindest possible way. They did their best to try
and support me -- to help me through that difficult time. They did
seem to worry about me.

I didn't really care.

The Saotomes left the dojo. Mr. Saotome said that it was just 'too
difficult' for his wife to stay with the memories of Ranma in the
house. I think they left because she couldn't face me anymore. I
thought someone with her sense of honor would have killed
herself by then. She evidently found it easier to hold others to her
standards than herself. She took it pretty hard when I told her
Ranma would probably still be alive if she weren't such a poor
excuse for a mother. "How does it feel," I asked her, "to know that
your son died afraid of you?"

If you ask me, it was a comment worthy of Nabiki. Nabiki, the
hypocrite, was pissed when I told her so. A few weeks later I
heard that she was shutting down her operations and forgiving all
interest on her loans. The rumor was that she just wanted her own
money back and then she was out of the business for good. I
wouldn't know, she quit talking to me. That was probably a good
thing. She always charged too much to talk anyway.

School was easy to deal with. Easier than I thought it would be.
Most people were smart enough to just leave me alone, especially
my former friends. I'm glad I didn't have to hurt any of them like I
hurt Kuno. Despite being an idiot, and blind to reality, I really
thought he'd take it like a man. I was rather surprised to see him
crying when the ambulance took him away. I think he was over
reacting. After all, they told me he should be walking again in a
year or so. Come to think of it, I think that was when Nabiki
stopped talking to me.

Without Ranma around to provide excitement, things got pretty
boring around the dojo. To start with, none of the bimbo fiancees
dropped by to poison, drug or kidnap anyone.

Kodachi wasn't heard from.

Shampoo and Mousse returned to China with Cologne. I
understand Shampoo let Mousse beat her the very day she found
out about Ranma's death. She finally showed her true colors. The
Chinese slut better hope she never runs into me.

Ukyou is keeping her restaurant going. I guess she doesn't have
anything else to live for. I dropped by one afternoon, curious to
see how she was doing. I always thought that under different
circumstances we might could've been friends, back when I cared.

When I walked in the door, our eyes met, and we knew. I left
without talking to her, and I suspect that I'll never see her again.
I know I'll do my best not to. The truth is hard enough to deal with
without looking it in the face, much less talking to it.

That encounter made me think about the direction my life was
going to take. I might have had ambitions before I met Ranma. To
tell the truth, I really don't remember. To fill my time I began to
train again. Not the usual self-righteous violence I used to call
training, but serious, dedicated training.

I asked Dad to train me, but after the Saotomes moved out he
dropped all pretense of living. All he does is go from the bed to
the table and back to bed. I figure he'll die within a year if he
keeps acting like that.

I trained myself for a while, but of course I didn't get very far.
You just can't do that and expect to improve at my level of
experience. That was one of the few benefits of my current
'condition' -- I was finally being honest with myself about my
skills and abilities. I think that part of me was sorry I couldn't
have done this earlier, when I could have shared my new found
honesty with Ranma, but since I don't feel anything for him anymore,
it's hard to say.

It sure wasn't enough to keep me up at nights wondering.

Ryoga showed up a little while after I started to train. He was in
an odd mood. Cheery one minute and depressed the next. In
hindsight, I guess he was pretty much normal. He trained me for
about a week before he got lost.

Ryoga showed up again about two days later -- his fastest trip to
the store yet. When he got back he had a ring and asked me to
marry him.

I laughed in his face. Then I told him I liked him better as P-chan,
at least a pig couldn't ask me stupid questions.

I don't know when I realized that Ryoga was P-chan, except it was
sometime after Ranma's death. It just didn't seem important. I'd
even let him sleep in my bed after I knew the truth. I just didn't
have any feelings about the issue one way or the other.

Anyway, Ryoga seemed to be pretty upset that I knew. He kept
raving about Ranma for some reason. Even though I didn't give a
damn about Ryoga (and remember, I don't give a damn about
anyone anymore, so I don't mean that in a bad way), he used to be
a friend, and I prefer to try and avoid hurting my former friends,
so I felt like I should say something to him. Besides, he looked
like he was ready to Shi Shi Hokudan himself and half of Nerima
into oblivion.

So I asked him if he wanted to fuck me.

That brought him up short. He even forgot to have a nose bleed.
He didn't say anything, so I stripped my bottoms off, turned
around and bent over. That flexibility training really comes in
handy, huh? I heard him leave about five minutes later. Haven't
seen him since. I did hear that he drops by Ukyou's every now and
then, they also say he's going to school in his old district. Maybe
one of the old gang will have a normal life, after all.

Kasumi and Dr. Tofu finally got together. The result is that she's
expecting her first child, even though she already broke up with
Dr. Tofu. It's all her own fault, really. She should have learned
more about life than how to cook and clean. Maybe having
another kid around the house will help shake Dad out of his
depression. He should enjoy having another life to ruin.

Nabiki left home for good. She packed up and left for college.
Didn't even leave a forwarding address or phone number.

I guess that just about brings me up to the present. Oh, except for
what I plan to do with my life. I guess old ambitions are best after
all, or at least the most convenient, so I'm going to continue on as
heir to the Tendo School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts. Of
course, I won't be inheriting the dojo anymore. The last I heard
Dad was still raving about what he was going to do to me for
leaving with Master Happosai.

So right now I'm sitting across the fire from the Master. He's
reading some cheap porn magazine I dug out of a garbage bin for
him, and I'm cataloging the new additions to his collection. He
lets me keep one or two every now and then as a treat.

I'm a little surprised that he still hasn't tried to grope me, or
worse. I really don't care -- I was willing to sleep with a pig
just so it wouldn't walk away sad, after all. But he hasn't yet,
and sometimes, when he's sober and we're not running for our lives
from the locals, I look in his eyes and I can see my own staring
back at me.

I hope I die soon. I don't want to think about living with the
ambivalence for as long as he has.

Acceptance
*********

It's been five years since Ranma died. I'm twenty-two, and the
undisputed Grand Master of the School of Anything-Goes Martial
Arts. When I leave Nerima today, I'm not coming back. I look
down at Ranma's grave and think to myself that today is the last
time I will visit him. Nerima holds nothing for me anymore.

I didn't come back to see my family, although I did, and I didn't
come to rekindle old acquaintances, although they tried. No, I
came to bring Father and Saotome back into the fold.

I was all the way over in Bangkok when I found out they broke
with the School. If there was one thing Happy taught me, it's that
you never let your inferiors think they can cross you and get away
with it.

Once I asked Happy why he'd agreed to train me. He told me that
he could tell I had 'transcended the petty morality which had
imprisoned my will'. It was one of his typical bullshit answers.
Sarcastically, I asked him when he knew.

He looked me in the eyes and told me he knew I was ready when I
offered to screw that pig just because it was easier than not. Of
course, he probably just figured that meant I'd be willing to screw
him. As if.

Looking back now, it's obvious why Happy taught me. It was my
ambivalence. After Ranma died, I just didn't care. And that's what
he was looking for. A disciple who would do anything, without a
second thought, just because he said to and they didn't give a
damn. And for four years, I did.

In those four years I learned as much about martial arts as Ranma
did in ten. It wasn't because I was better than Ranma. He was a
faster learner and a better fighter. Hell, he'd probably still beat
me most of the time. If he'd trained with Happy he'd have learned
all I did and then some. If he'd had the proper attitude. But he
never did. He always had too much honor, too many scruples. As
amazing as it sounds, even Saotome had too many. My father,
well, he was probably the weakest student Happy ever had. I, on
the other hand, was a very good student.

The most important lessons he taught weren't about fighting. They
were about life. How to manipulate people. How to crush a person
into submission. How to take away everything a person holds dear
and not give a damn about it. Nabiki would have been even better
than me, if she hadn't caught a sudden case of morals right before
she left.

My first encounter with old an acquaintance came as I walked
down the streets of Nerima. Mouse jumped off a roof and
attacked. I was half expecting it. After all, you can't just kill
fourteen amazons and expect them to stop coming after you. Then
again, most of them have given up -- a mounting body count has
that effect, but Mousse took Shampoo's death pretty hard. I once
said that the Chinese bimbo had better not cross my path. It was
too bad for her that she did.

It's too bad for Mousse that he still hadn't learned to put on his
glasses. I guess that's the last time he'll ever make that mistake. I
wish he hadn't attacked me.

Actually, I didn't mean to kill Shampoo either. I was willing to
walk away. But she wasn't, and she paid the price. That was my
first fight, as opposed to a sparring match, since I started training
with Happy. Even so, I was more than a match for her. Happy
didn't exactly take me to the established dojos. He liked to hock
my virtue to the bookies for credit when I sparred. It was a good
incentive to win, and, after all, I'm still pure. In that sense, at
least.

Happy said I was blooded when I killed Shampoo. After that there
was no turning back.

We were training at Jusenkyo at the time. I spent about a year
running between Jusenkyo, the Amazon Village and the Musk
Dynasty. I never did meet Herb during that trip, which is just as
well. Even Happy had a lot of respect for him. I managed to avoid
picking up a curse. There were a couple of close calls, but
somehow I avoided the pools.

I spent several days meditating at the Spring of Drowned Girl.
Even without love, I found it comforting to be near Ranma again,
even if it was just the pool that changed our lives forever. It was
something.

The last time I saw Happy, I was standing at the side of that pool.
I had just learned that Happy was involved with Ranma's death. I
didn't know why, or how, and to tell the truth, didn't care. The old
man was getting a little afraid of me, of how quickly I was
learning. I was a danger to him, and that made him a danger to
me.

So I did the only sensible thing I could. I dunked him in the
spring, and carried the wet, young and very female Happy off to
the Musk Dynasty. Happy was still too ugly for Herb, but Lime
and Mint weren't as picky. Happy didn't last the night.

I passed Ryoga and Ukyou on the street, and tried to ignore them.
It's better for them not to be around me, and besides, it's easier
not to get involved with people I used to know. As usual, I didn't
get what I wanted.

Ryoga grabbed my arm, I looked at Ukyou, none of us said
anything. After a minute she pulled Ryoga away. He looked like
he was going to cry. No wonder he could never beat Ranma. At
least Ukyou seemed to be doing better. Maybe she found
something more than the restaurant. I hope so.

Tofu's clinic was gone. The quickmart there had good slurpees
though.

The Kuno Mansion seems to have grown barbed wire and a
multitude of security guards. They way it was setup, it looked like
it was more to keep people in, than out.

The school was the same as it always was.

And finally, the dojo. It was worse than I expected. Trashy
pictures of Saotome and Father in action poses. Panda action
figures with rotating battle-action arms. And emblazoned across it
all, in flashing neon lights: "The Tendo-Saotome School of
Anything-Goes Martial Arts".

Kasumi answered my knock at the door. She never said a word,
just stared for a second before she closed the door in my face. She
never even dropped her smile. I guess she was still pissed about
me leaving.

I walked around to the dojo. It seemed mostly the same, but the
mirrored ceiling was incredibly tacky. Some 'person' wearing a
black belt and teaching the class asked if he could help me. I
guess he didn't know any better, but if I'd gone easy on him I'd
have had to go harder on the rest. I asked him where Father and
Saotome were. He seemed to take offense at my tone of voice, so I
was forced to get a little physical with him.

Anything-Goes, my ass. More like a game of duck-duck-goose if
you ask me.

Afterwards I sat in the middle of the floor and waited for the two
owners to return from the bar. Apparently that's where they spent
every afternoon.

Soon enough they arrived. Saotome, at least, recognized Happy's
mark in my expression, and immediately started groveling. Father
appeared to have grown a spine, which was okay too, it just meant
I got to have a little bit of instructional fun. I'm sure the
students all appreciated the exposure to several new and painful
submission holds which I demonstrated on my very willing
assistant.

After kicking the students and instructors out, I ripped into the
two groveling men. I don't give a shit if they run a crappy
commercial dojo, but they damn well better not put the name
Anything-Goes Martial Arts anywhere near it. I gave up a lot for
the Art (or at least I like to say I did, I really don't care enough
about anything for it to matter if I give it up), and I won't have it
sullied by them.

After personally supervising the two of them while they pulled
down the signs and burned all the pamphlets they could find, they
invited me for dinner. At least they remembered their duty
towards their Master.

Kasumi wasn't too pleased at my staying for dinner. To tell the
truth, I wasn't too pleased to eat it. The food wasn't as good as I
remembered it being. It probably had something to do with the
pack of cigarettes Kasumi inhaled while cooking. Either that or
the cooking wine she kept 'testing'. Now I guess I know how
Ranma felt, trying to eat my cooking.

There was a little boy and girl running around, Kasumi's kids.
She still hasn't married. I knew the boy was Tofu's, but when I
asked about the girl Kasumi gave me a strained smile and took
another sip from her specially fortified tea. I looked at Saotome,
but he just shrugged, and refused to meet my eyes. Father read the
paper. At least the bastard doesn't cry anymore.

Later Father told me that Saotome's wife committed suicide last
year, after she walked in on him and some girl. He sold their
house and used the money to finance the dojo.

Father also told me that Tofu and Kasumi tried to get back
together after their son was born. It didn't work out. I don't figure
it's such a bad thing, though. With the money Tofu sends every
month, it's easily the most profitable investment Kasumi will ever
make.

My room had been left alone. There was a padlock on the door
and an inch of dust on the floor. I slept downstairs rather than
sneeze all night. Besides, my room was just another dead memory
to me. I was under Kasumi's room and the noises coming down
through the ceiling kept me up all night. I left before sunrise.
Even if I didn't care, it still hurt. As stupid as it sounds, it's true.

So here I am now with you, Ranma. I still can't grieve for you, but
I promise that the day I can is the day I join you.

Grief
****

It has been seven years since I came to Nerima to discipline Tendo
and Saotome. I never did have any more trouble from them. They
died about a year ago. Some fight in a cheap bar.

But that's not why I'm back in Tokyo today. Today is my son's
fifth birthday, and the first time I will have seen him since the day
he was born. I guess some part of me needs to see how he's doing,
even if I can't find it in my heart to love him.

Some people think I can't love him because his father is some
unknown foreigner who disappeared with all my cash the morning
after. That's not it. No, I don't love my son because I just don't
give a damn. And I haven't for twelve long years. Not since the
day Ranma died.

That's not entirely true. I do give a damn about a few things. The
School, the Art. But not people. The day Ranma died I found out
that I just couldn't love anymore. Like he took it all with him
when he left. But I can't blame him for that. I can only blame
myself for not telling him he owned my heart before he got in that
stupid fight.

Years later I found out that the resident pervert had actually set
the fight up for some plot of his, and I killed him. But not because
he'd killed Ranma. Just because he became a danger to me. That
bothers me sometimes. I should have killed him for Ranma.

Sometimes I lie to myself that I did, but I know it's not true. That
part of myself that died stays gone no matter what I do. Not even
my own child can fill that loss.

To my surprise, when I placed the baby up for adoption I found
out that Nabiki was taking him. I wouldn't have thought she could
have found out about my pregnancy in a foreign country, but I
guess Nabiki is Nabiki, even if she isn't.

She really changed when Ranma died and I left. I think when she
saw that I was becoming what she had become after Mom's death,
she got scared. Did a complete one-eighty and headed off as fast
as she could in the other direction.

Nabiki and her husband have two kids of their own, plus mine.
They live a comfortable middle class life just outside Tokyo. She's
as far away from Nerima as one can get and still be able to
commute to central Tokyo for work. She does a lot of volunteer
work there now.

I understand that Nabiki quietly makes sure Kasumi has enough
to get by, and keep the dojo up, even if it is a little difficult
for them. I hope the dojo will hold happier memories for Kasumi and
her children than it does for me.

Anyway, here I am, walking up the street towards the small house
Nabiki lives in. It's not nearly as big as the dojo was, but I can see
that it's well maintained, cozy and cheerful. In the yard I can see
two boys, maybe nine or ten, playing with a dog. The door opens
and I see another boy run out. My son.

He seems to be a happy child. He runs and plays with the other
two. He screams and hollers and chases the dog until a woman
comes to the door to scold him for the noise.

Nabiki is older and heavier than I remember her. She was always
so adamant about her figure. Now she's put on a little weight, but
looks comfortable with it. She wears a loose sweater over a long
flowing skirt, and has an apron tied around her. Her hair has
grown out a little, but she still keeps the same cut. As she scolds
the smallest boy the other two catch the dog and all four go back
into the house.

Now that the time has come, I find myself nervous, for the first
time in so long that I don't even recognize the emotion when I
first feel it. As I walk up to the house I can feel my stomach
constricting tighter and tighter into a small, hard knot until I can
hardly stand up straight. I see Nabiki open a window in their
living room, and briefly look out.

I don't think she sees me.

Forcing back my uneasiness, I creep up to the window and glance
inside. I see her and my son sitting on the couch looking through
a photo album. The boy sits against Nabiki, and she has one arm
around his shoulder, her other hand balancing the large book
while the boy turns the pages and asks Nabiki questions.

"Who's this?"

"Me, when I was in high school."

"Wow! You were thin!"

"What? Are you saying I'm fat?" Nabiki tickles the boy until he
rolls off the couch. I smile. The boy climbs up next to Nabiki
again. He turns the page.

"Who are they, Auntie?"

Auntie? I wonder why Nabiki has my son call her auntie. I guess
she doesn't want to take my motherhood away, even if I don't want
it.

"That's me again."

"You're pretty."

"Thank you. And that's your Auntie Kasumi. That's Grandpa. And
see the girl there? That's your mother."

"Yeah! Akane's my mom!"

Now I can feel the knot in my stomach growing larger. I hate this.
I don't care. I don't care, I tell myself. Damn Nabiki! Why is she
making this so hard?

"And who's next to your mommy?"

"That's my daddy! Ranma!"

Oh god, what is she telling him? Damn it hurts, I think I can feel
a ball of fire where my guts used to be. I have to clench my teeth
and strain to keep from doubling up.

"Auntie?"

"Hmm?"

"When are Mommy and Daddy coming back?"

I start to stumble back to the gate. I hope I can get out before
anyone sees me. This was a mistake. As I reach the gate I hear
Nabiki's answer. Her voice is too clear to have carried out the
window from the couch. I know she must be watching me,
crawling away like a wounded animal. I can't look back.

"I don't know, Ranma."

Later that afternoon, I finally lay my head on the grass over you,
Ranma. Why, oh god, why did Nabiki do this to us? It hurts so
damn much. Listening to her and my son, why did she name him
after you? Why did she tell him you were his father?

I could see it, this afternoon. I could see my life the way I wanted
it to be, just me and you and our family and, oh god, it's coming,
I can finally, finally, feel it coming!

When I close my eyes I see your dead body, cradled in my arms,
and I feel the moment coming when my heart will stop, and I
know that I'm going to die, and the moment comes and I feel the
tension in my chest now and it's here and. . .

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Steve Pardue
spa...@zebra.net