[BGZ/Ranma][Fanfic] Twisted Path 4 - Parts 1-4

[Twister]

Bert: Greetings folks! We're at it again! (Impressive size for
something that started as a few joking lines in an email,
isn't it? ^_^)

Darren: Now THERE'S an understatement if I've heard one. -_^
Started out small, but grew into this monster. Hope you
faithful readers enjoy it. And now........

Bert & Darren: IIIIIIT'S SHOWTIME!!!!

------------=========================================-------------

TWISTED PATH 4 - NERIMA KNIGHTS

Written By:
Darren Steffler and Bert Van Vliet

Part One - What Knight be this?
-------------------------------

It was quiet inside the simple room used for housing the
Amazon magess Perfume's guests. The futon on the floor was made
and, strangely, a chair split in twain was set aside on the floor
near one corner of the room.
Suddenly, flames burst into existence in the empty area's
center. This was no ordinary fire, for it blazed a purple color and
left the floorboards untouched. The flickering flames rose to new
heights, then died out as quickly as they'd erupted.
Two beings now stood revealed in the room.
The Chinese village of the Amazons might not be home, but for
Darlene, the name Twister had gotten used to calling her female
form, it was a welcome sight for sore eyes. It had been a long time
away for her and, while she had left some dear friends behind in
the other universe, coming back through the Void was an achievement
that she was now pretty certain she could repeat if needed. Given
enough practice.
"Are we...back?" the other person she had brought with her
asked hopefully.
"Yeah, I think so, Ryouga," she replied, sighing and smiling
with relief as she looked back at her trans-universal companion.
Somehow, Ranma's rival for Akane had wound up in the universe that,
for her, she had been thrown into two years ago. Exactly how that
had happened was a mystery, and Darlene idly pondered whether it
had anything to do with wormhole theory. After a moment, she
dismissed that speculation and just wrote it down as part of
Ryouga's strange ability to wander anywhere.
"I'll change and send you to the Tendo dojo." Seeing the
bandanna-wearing young man drift off into love-lorn visions of
Akane, she shook her head and shrugged off the backpack she wore,
dropping it to the floor. Rummaging through the pack produced quick
results; she made a pleased sound and took an invisible object from
it.
One mental command later, and the red-headed girl was shrouded
in darkness. Split seconds after that, the diminutive red-headed
female was replaced by a tall, armour-clad form. The armour was
crystalline in appearance, and apparently modeled after ancient
medival knight armour. Black plate etched with silvery designs was
interconnected by a fine shimmering mesh. It was an impressive
sight in the mostly empty room. The sudden appearance of the armour
suit immediately jarred Ryouga out of his wistful trance.
Inside the armour, Darlene had become Twister, the male side
of his forms. He had originally started out as male, but some major
events in his life had blessed, or cursed depending on your point
of view, him into switching back and forth between the two sexes.
He had mostly gotten used to his female side during his stay in the
Bubblegum Crisis universe. Mostly.
"Okay, Ryouga, I'm going to send you to the dojo," Twister's
distorted voice told his companion; it was the Crystal Knight's
voice when he wore the magical armour. "Please don't mention our
little... trip, okay?"
Ryouga stiffened indignantly. "Do you doubt my hon..." His
voice ended abruptly as he had vanished due to Twister's
teleportation power. It was rude, but the psionist had no desire to
delay his own agenda. He wanted very much to see Nabiki again and
there were a few minor matters to attend to first before he could
do that.
"Minor?" the Crystal Knight muttered aloud, shaking his
armoured head disbelievingly as he went over that last thought.
"I wish it were...."

SOMEWHERE ELSE.....IN A UNIVERSE NOT-SO-FAR AWAY....

A loud, droning whine carried over the muted grumble of the
late afternoon traffic choking the streets of downtown Mega-Tokyo.
A few pedestrians noted the noise as they shoved their way through
the milling throngs of people on the sidewalks, and looked around
for the source. The noise grew louder, beginning to override
everything. A few car drivers even leaned out through their open
windows, thinking perhaps that a jet plane was coming down
overhead. The drivers immediately in front of the rubbernecking
motorists were not happy, as loud bangs announced the fact that a
few collisions had just occurred because of it.
With the roar of powerful jet turbines, a silver-bedecked
figure shot down the length of the street, flying at about fifty
feet above street level. The brightly shining figure was humanoid
in shape, looking vaguely like a robot of some kind: heavy armour
plating covered it entirely, coloured mostly silver, with some blue
plating on the shoulders and torso. Its head had a v-shaped slot
where its eyes should be, the slot glowing a bright red colour and
seeming to glower ominously at everything. Blue `wings' jutted out
from the sides of the head, approximately where the ears on a human
would be. Short wings stuck out from its back, and people with
really sharp eyesight were able to discern jets of some kind on the
figure's back.
After a casual glance, it became obvious to even the most
callow observer that the flying object was a powered armour suit:
a hardsuit. It appeared to be completely oblivious to everything on
the ground below it, concerned only with its flight. When it
reached the end of the street, the gleaming hardsuit shot into the
high skies. The silver vision vanished within moments into the
low-level clouds and towering peaks of the city skyscrapers,
leaving the commuters below to ponder the strange sight they'd
briefly witnessed.
SkyKnight cast a last glance over his armoured shoulder at the
rapidly receding traffic below, grinning to himself. While he
wasn't supposed to be buzzing the everyday traffic when out for a
`leisure flight', at times it was just too much of a temptation.
The looks on the faces of some of the civilians when he flew by
were priceless. He chuckled again to himself, remembering some of
the more shocked expressions he'd seen.
The silver-clad Knight Saber banked sideways as a radio
transmission antenna whipped past him. He weaved a tortuous path at
breakneck speeds through some of the nearby rooftop structures,
just for the hell of it. Bert grinned to himself; God, he loved
flying!! It had been so long since he'd just gone flying for fun,
he couldn't remember any of the details. All he knew now was that
it felt fantastic, and nothing was going to ruin his enjoyment of
the moment.
There was a loud, crashing explosion of some kind that rocked
the air behind him, the noise fading out into a sullen rumble.
"Aw hell," SkyKnight muttered to himself, casting a glance at
the gloomy-looking sky overhead. "Bloody thunderstorms. Great." It
was funny, though; he'd checked the weather forecasts before
becoming airborne, and there hadn't been any mention of rain. Oh
well, time to head home then, and....
The world suddenly seemed to blow up. A loud, almost
electrical crackle filled the air around him, and SkyKnight
suddenly found himself bathed in coruscating purple light.
The air seemed to become uncomfortably hot; energy sizzled and
spat around him, every warning light his hardsuit possessed
flashing into life on his viewscreen. Shutdown warnings, overload
warnings, collision warnings... What the hell was going on?! Had he
been caught in a lightning strike?! Impossible, his mind answered
a moment later; if it had been lightning, he'd have been dead.
Besides, who'd ever heard of PURPLE lightning before?
SkyKnight threw full power to his jets, trying to outrun
whatever had overtaken him. For a moment, it seemed as if he'd been
successful, as the radiance filling his sight seemed to diminish a
bit. Then it was back, along with something else.
Something started dragging him backwards through the air.
"What the hell is going ON here?!?!" the silver hardsuit
roared, thrashing around in midair. He was very definitely being
dragged backwards now, when according to his readouts, he should
have been hurtling forwards at better than 500 km/h airspeed.
SkyKnight looked behind him to see what, if anything, had a hold on
him.
When he saw what it was, he immediately wished he hadn't
looked: a huge, pitch black rift was apparently floating in midair
about twenty feet behind him, and long tongues of purple-white
energy were streaming from the rift. The energy streamers were
licking like hungry flames on a piece of wood on his hardsuit
exterior, although there didn't appear to be any effects incurred
as a result. Air howled into the void with the roar of a speeding
freight train, and it appeared to be adding the mysterious suction
that was slowly drawing him in.
"Oh my God, this isn't happening! PLEASE tell me this isn't
happening!!" Bert prayed fervently; no divine entities appeared to
be listening to him, however. Instead of an answer appearing, or
the phenomenon disappearing, a bright pinpoint of purple light
began to grow in the center of the gaping hole in the fabric of
reality. He stared numbly at it, dry-mouthed with fear as it
swelled and grew; part of his mind was screaming in anguished
protest at what was happening. It just wasn't possible; it defied
all earthly logic! It was insane!! It....
"AAAAAAAAARRRGH!!!" The agonized yell was torn from the silver
hardsuit as, with an echoing boom, a violently flaring burst of
purple-lit energy shot from the void in front of him, and slammed
square into his chest. Knives of pain seemed to slice through him
instantly as the energy wave washed through him, searing every
fibre of his being with a fiery-feeling shock. The wave passed
through him like he hadn't been there, continuing on to loop around
behind him in midair, almost like a snake curling around on its
prey.
SkyKnight fought desperately to escape the impossibility that
was happening to him. Jets screamed tormentedly, trying to wrench
him loose from the inexorable pull that now had him less than ten
feet from the rift. His mind shuddered away from the brief glimpse
he'd had of ...of ... his mind refused to put a definition to the
whirling images he'd seen inside of it, instead opting for
gibbering in fear. He had to get away!!!
The curling energy bolt behind him seemed to pause briefly,
then it pounced on the struggling Knight Saber mercilessly,
enveloping him completely...and shoving him forwards into the
blackness of the rift with its impact. There was another rolling
detonation, and the rift collapsed, leaving no indication that it
had ever existed at all.
Below, the sprawling metropolis continued to hum with its
normal activities, unaffected and uncaring.
SkyKnight, however, had vanished with the rift.

RANMA UNIVERSE...

Several minutes had passed since the disaster occurred, and
Prof. Miyabi still couldn't believe what had happened.
She had asked Twister to come with her to the village of the
Amazons to help in the creation of a new sealing crystal. The
crystal kept a powerful and evil spirit bound into black stone,
stone that she currently stood upon. It was the duty of the chief
magic-user of the Amazons to renew the crystal when it became too
corrupted by the evil of the spirit.
Perfume, who was the current Master and an old friend, had
asked her for help; a great honour for Miyabi who knew the elder
magess' standards. A female apprentice of some power had also been
requested, a role Twister fit perfectly despite being male half of
the time. They had come and, after a few minor mishaps, completed
the crystal. Miyabi bitterly remembered her sense of accomplishment
and pride when they had finally finished that task.
Unfortunately, the older crystal had been left for too long,
and it was only with Twister's warning that they had been even
half-prepared when the crystal imploded. The spirit had taken over
its power and tried to destroy the new lock to its prison. Miyabi,
Perfume, and Twister had succeeded in driving back the evil, but
not before it had done one last bit of revenge: Twister had been
sucked into a rift and, with all the free power in the room fouling
her mystic senses, there was no possible way to track her.
"<She CAN'T be gone!>" Lotion cried out in Chinese, wrapped in
Perfume's arms as she feebly tried to get to the place where
Twister had disappeared. Masque, Perfume's other apprentice, kept
silent as she stared at where Twister had vanished.
Perfume knew Miyabi did not know Chinese, so her response was
in Japanese. "I'm afraid she is, child. And without some kind of
link, it will be nearly impossible to track her...if she survived.
Inter-dimensional travel is very hard for magic-users in any case
without some help."
Miyabi rebelled at this appraisal of the situation. "But it
HAS been done!"
"Yes," Perfume agreed. "And do you know any beings that would
help you, willingly? I do not; it is no light task." Lotion looked
up hopefully at Miyabi.
The Professor slumped in defeat. "None, right now," she
admitted reluctantly. Lotion's face fell at her admission, and she
buried her face against Perfume in despair, weeping.
"MAY I LEND ASSISTANCE?" boomed a voice. Startled, all whirled
towards the source, and eyes widened with surprise at what they
saw.
"Who are you?" Perfume demanded of the powerful looking form.
"I BE THE CRYSTAL KNIGHT," Twister responded. "I WILL HELP
THEE."

IN AN UNKNOWN PLACE, SOMEWHERE OUT THERE....

Endless tracks of light blurred past, whipping streamers of
illumination that were nearly impossible to see. Whirling nebulae
of brightly glowing mists peppered the stark blackness of the void,
flashing by at speeds that defied the imagination, and description.
There were invisible zones of blast-furnace heat, followed by
regions of cold that made the Arctic seem temperate by comparison.
It was impossible to tell if time was passing or not, since there
was nothing, no solid, fixed, familiar point of reference he could
use to judge by. There was only a vast blackness, terrifying in its
immensity.
The Void, in its immensity, has many regions. Darlene knew of
only the white featurelessness of a totally empty `area'. Bert, on
the other hand, was going through a more `cluttered' area, thus the
blackness.
SkyKnight tumbled through the blackness of the void, a
flickering silver speck caught by forces beyond his comprehension.
A pulsing purple glow surrounded him, and extended out behind him
like a comet's tail, marking his trajectory for any beings that
were watching.
"Come on, Bert," he muttered to himself. "Wake up, dammit!
This isn't happening!! You're dreaming! For God's sake, WAKE UP!!!"
His last statement had more the sound of a desperate plea for help,
and he shut himself up before he could completely panic. It was
only through sheer willpower right now that he was staying
calm...well, mostly calm, anyway.
The void surrounding him was so featureless, he couldn't
really tell if he was upright or upside-down, although he had a
vague impression of being spun around every so often. There was
also the feeling of fantastic speed; even though he had nothing to
base it on, he had a hunch he was flying faster than normally
possible. He again experienced a surge of angry frustration over
his predicament, the feelings of complete helplessness not
improving his frame of mind in the slightest.
He tried again to see if he could break free of whatever had
a grip on him, but it was a futile effort; his suit refused to
move, or even respond to him. It wasn't a malfunction, he was sure
of that much at least. It was just like...like technology didn't
work here, or something was preventing its function. His viewscreen
was working, allowing him glimpses of the rare sights that there
were to see out here... wherever `here' was.... but his suit was
frozen solid; he couldn't move a finger now if his life depended on
it. The only other thing he could see was the pulsating purple glow
that was all around him.
The silver-and-blue battlesuit sped onwards into the darkness
of the strange, somehow dimensionless void, like a piece of paper
caught in a tidal wave, trailing purple streaks of light.

RANMAVERSE...

Perfume warily looked at the armoured form in front of her.
Even with the fog of leftover power from the incident, she could
sense the mystic power of the being's armour. However, what was
disconcerting was the fact that she could not sense the being
himself, or itself; it was as if the being WAS the armour. Stranger
things had been birthed by magic, however, so it was entirely
possible. In any case, she felt no evil in the creature, so she did
not attack.
"You wish to help find our missing apprentice?" Perfume asked
cautiously.
"YES, I DO. HOWEVER, T'WILL TAKE MUCH TIME."
"In your terms or ours?" Prof. Miyabi queried; some beings had
different preceptions of Time than humans.
"MINE. UNKNOWN FOR THY HUMAN SCALE." The stranger shrugged.
"T'WILL BE FASTER USING PERSONAL EFFECTS, AND WITH THY," he pointed
at a startled Miyabi, "HELP. YE BE HER MENTOR?"
The Professor nodded. "I am."
"THEN I WILL START. I WILL NEED THY HELP IN THE FIRST. NONE
OTHER WILL LOOK, OR LONGER IT WILL TAKE. WE GO NOW." Surprised,
Miyabi began to protest, but both she and the stranger vanished
before she could say a word.
"<Why do most non-human powers do that?>" Perfume said sourly.
Having someone just pop into and out of rooms without so much as a
greeting or farewell was extremely annoying.
Surprisingly, the black and silver form reappeared, and spoke
to an amazed Lotion, whose tears were still flowing. "DO NOT WEEP,
LASS. I BE SURE THE...LOST ONE IS UNHARMED."
"R-really?" the young woman sniffled. The helmet nodded,
although it seemed oddly hesitant to Perfume. "Then I thank you."
Lotion sniffed once and smiled.
There was a pause, then the armour vanished again.
"<Strange...>" Perfume muttered, brows furrowing. She shook
her head after a moment, and decided to dwell upon it later. "<Come
you two; we have much to do.>" She left the room and her two
apprentices followed.
Lotion turned back once for a long moment, before reluctantly
turning away.
*****
Miyabi raised an eyebrow when she realized that it was her own
house that she now stood in. The strange being hadn't followed, but
her own pack, and Twister's, had. Another, larger backpack that she
didn't recognize also sat with the bundled belongings.
The armoured being then appeared, and she was willing to swear
that she heard it sigh. Nonsense. "All right, where do we start
then? I don't want to waste another minute," she said impatiently.
"WE BEGIN," the being loudly began, then its voice went down
to a normal volume, "with a confession."
"What?!"
A dense black cloud shrouded the armour briefly, startling
Miyabi, and then disappeared, leaving behind something that
startled her even more. Her jaw dropped, almost to the ground, and
her eyes widened. "TWISTER?!?!?" Darlene's shoulders slumped.
"Yes. I..." She didn't get a chance to say more, for Miyabi
rushed up and hugged her tightly, cutting off what she was going to
say. Darlene smiled and hugged the relieved Professor back. "It's
good to be back."
Miyabi released the young woman and held her arm's length away
from her, as if she was disbelieving her own eyes. "How...how did
you get back? And why like THAT?" The fact that she meant the
`powerful being' act was obvious.
"Took two years," the red head muttered, eyes downcast. "I
finally got around to it from the place where I ended up."
"Two..." Miyabi began, then frowned as she looked at Darlene
carefully. "That's far too short a time to come up with something
like trans-universal travel, especially at your age. Age... You
don't... You haven't changed at all!" she accused.
"Well, that's two things to blame on the Event: an easier time
casting spells, and a lot longer lifespan," Darlene said bitterly.
At the Professor's questioning frown, she wryly added, "I found out
a few things about what had happened to myself when I was away."
Prof. Miyabi could tell this was a touchy subject for her
student so she changed the topic...for the time being, anyway. "Why
didn't you tell us who you were at the village?" Seeing Darlene's
sudden hesitation and slight blush gave her the answer.
"Twister!" she scolded Darlene, who looked down at the floor,
shamefaced. "It's because of Lotion, isn't it? That was NOT a nice
thing to do, AND," she stressed, as Darlene was about to say
something but closed her mouth with a snap, "you're only avoiding
the issue."
"Can you bloody well blame me?!" Darlene protested
indignantly, temper rising. "Sure she's a lovely girl and, from
what I could tell in the brief time we met, she's a very nice
person! I guess I SHOULD be flattered that she's also attracted to
me! BUT WHEN I'M FEMALE?! AND THAT," Darlene was shouting now,
making Miyabi recoil in surprise at the outburst, "IS WHY I'M SO
BLOODY AFRAID OF HER!!!" She stood there, panting when she was
finished, glaring at Miyabi.
"You don't need to shout to answer me," the Professor said in
a deceptively mild tone, rebuking the angry young woman. The
red-head visibly deflated at her words.
"Sorry." Darlene blushed in embarrassment as Miyabi continued
to look at her silently. "My personality in this form changed a
little while I was away. I'm...a little more emotional now."
"So I see."
"I just... I just need more time to think about what I'm going
to do about Lotion."
Miyabi raised her eyebrows. "And what about Natsumi and
Nabiki?"
"I love Nabiki, not Natsumi," Darlene said without thinking,
then her eyes widened, slapping a hand over her mouth, as she
realized what she had said in front of her magic professor.
"At least you can make up your mind on one thing, and shows
why you don't want to face Lotion if it's another you love. I mean,
besides the other reason. Can't you just tell her no?"
Darlene gaped at her incredulously. "You've never tried
dissuading an amorous Amazon whose attracted to someone, have you?
Trust me, if she's ANYTHING like Shampoo, no will not work.
DEFINITELY not work," she said glumly, depressed.
Miyabi shook her head. "Well, at least you're back safely,
even if the others don't know yet. After being gone so long I'd
better just tell you to go home, unpack, and try to get ready for
classes tomorrow." Miyabi smiled, with a familiar gleam appearing
in her eye. "You can tell me what happened to you after classes.
It's not every day I get to talk to someone who has been to another
universe and I'm very curious as to how and why you made that
armour." Seeing Darlene's hesitation, she smiled again with more
humour and waved at the red-head to move. "Go on, get out of here."
Darlene smiled back, more reassured. "Okay. It's great to be
back, but I think I'll run. I've done enough non-leg transportation
for today." She hefted her bag, and, acquardly, the larger backpack
that she had brought to carry mementos back from the Bubblegum
Crisis universe.
Before she left, Miyabi keeping the door open, Darlene
hesitated and said, "Professor?"
"Yes?"
"Um, could you please call me Darlene when I'm female?" she
asked quietly. Seeing Miyabi's startled look, the red-head
explained further. "I used that name for my female half in the
other universe, and....I've gotten used to it."
"Very well...Darlene."
Darlene smiled her thanks, and rushed off, eager to return to
her apartment.
Miyabi shook her head and had to agree that...Darlene did seem
different in personality.
At least her story promised to be an interesting one.

SOMEWHERE, SOMEPLACE....

Time becomes meaningless after a certain point in a journey,
moreso when the traveller has no idea where he is, how he got
there, or where he is going. SkyKnight was discovering that first
hand; with nothing to use as a frame of reference, not even his
suit chronometer, he felt like he'd been hurtling through space
indefinitely. In fact, he was beginning to think he'd died, and had
been sentenced to fly uncontrollably forever through the hereafter,
alone. The long journey was starting to wear on his mind, driving
it close to the breaking point as the lack of scenery began to
border on sensory deprivation; it had gotten worse when the
blackness turned into an even worse, blank whiteness. He was
morbidly sure that, if something didn't happen soon, he was going
to lose his mind and go crazy...if he wasn't already insane and
hallucinating all of this.
The minute Bert realized he'd spoken that aloud, he wished
he'd kept his mouth shut: he was now hurtling towards some kind of
a swirling, multicolored cloud, one that seemed to crackle with
energy. SkyKnight began to sweat as he saw blue lightning bolts
play over its surface periodically, and he went dry-mouthed with
fear. He was never going to be completely easy around electricity
again; Hollister and his torture device had seen to that. Whatever
that cloud was, he had no desire to see it up close.
With frantic desperation, SkyKnight tried to move...and yelled
in surprise as his sudden, violent motion turned his trajectory
into an end-over-end, high-speed cartwheel, as if he was spinning
around his center of gravity. Overcoming his surprise at being able
to move again, the silver-clad hardsuit fired his jets, trying to
halt his forward motion.
Nothing happened; his jets didn't respond.
"Aw goddamn it! NOW what?!" he snarled to himself. SkyKnight
tried some of his other systems as a check: scanners, lasers, beam
sabers, emergency thrusters, railgun launcher ... all of them
refused to function. Damn it, everything should have been working!
All his status readouts indicated normalcy, and apparently
everything was functioning....except the chronometer, he suddenly
realized. Time was definitely NOT on his side, but had appeared to
have taken a holiday; the clock LED readout was very firmly stuck
on 12:00 AM, like a VCR after a power outage.
Floundering around, Bert was able to stop his tumbling motion
after a lot of trial and error, and resume what he thought was an
upright position. The cloud loomed larger and larger on the
`horizon' the entire time, and he was sure he could almost feel an
atmosphere of .... expectant waiting?
With terrifying swiftness, SkyKnight shot into the cloud. As
he hit the fringes of the phenomenon, he thought he glimpsed
something `far' off to the side of his current position. He had the
brief impression of a huge maelstrom of energy that was emitting a
raging torrent of purple and blue light. That was all he had time
to see as the cloud swallowed him completely.
There was the instant feeling that he'd stopped, somehow,
almost as if he'd hit a spongy wall. Everything was bathed in a
diffuse white glow, with other speckles of colour occasionally
flashing into brief view. Bert looked down at himself, and noted
that his suit was still outlined by a purplish glow. That was all
there was to see; the rest was a vast expanse of whiteness unlike
the Whiteness of the Void outside.
"YOU ARE NOT YET READY." The voice, if it was a voice,
throbbed with power and authority, almost rattling his teeth. It
seemed to come from everywhere at once.
"What the hell's that supposed to mean?! Who are you? Where am
I?!" he shouted back, feeling suddenly very lost and alone. His
amplified voice sounded in his ears like a very poor imitation of
the voice that had spoken.
"YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE."
"Well then send me home, dammit!!" he yelled. "I didn't ask
for this!! Just get me out of here!!" SkyKnight looked around
again, and still couldn't see anything.
"IT IS TOO LATE, THE DIE IS CAST." SkyKnight was almost
willing to swear he heard the voice sigh before it continued. "YOU
HAVE THE POTENTIAL, AND THERE IS NO ONE ELSE."
"Now wait just a minute," SkyKnight countered. Sweat began to
drip down his face inside his helmet; he didn't like the
implications of `it is too late'. "What are you talking about?!" He
wished his suit systems were working; it would be so reassuring to
have workable particle lasers right now.
"PREPARE YOURSELF, KNIGHT. FROM THIS ROAD, THERE IS NO TURNING
BACK."
"HOLD IT!!!" SkyKnight bellowed. "What the hell do you mean?!
What are you going to ...do...to...me?" his voice trailed off, as
he noticed the purple radiance surrounding him began to get
brighter and brighter. Nameless terror suddenly gripped him.
"NO!!!" he shouted to the presence that was out there.
"Whatever it is, I want no part of it!! Leave me out of it!!"
"YOU HAVE NO CHOICE. THERE IS NO ONE ELSE." As if the words
had been a signal, it began.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!" SkyKnight screamed helplessly, as the
purple light flared to a white-hot intensity, and began burrowing
into him. He could feel it as it tunnelled, feeling like it was
slowly stripping away his molecules one at a time.
He held a hand up in front of his visor, and watched as his
gauntlet and arm became translucent with glowing energy. When he
looked down at himself, he could see the same thing happening to
the rest of his body; it was almost like he was looking at a purple
and white x-ray photograph of himself, with the white representing
his bones. The remorseless energy continued to sink into him,
driving towards the core of his being.
"NOOO!! P-P-Please, s-s-stop!!!" he pleaded, shaking as waves
of pain raced through him. "Don't want.....can't handle......" He
clutched at his helmeted head as it suddenly seemed to be filled
with a welter of strange, incomprehensible knowledge about all
kinds of subjects. Somewhere in the whirling mix of images, he
recognized some of his hardsuit ideas, circuit diagrams and
schematics from past upgrades, and ideas for future upgrades. All
the data churned through his mind at dizzying speed, almost like
someone had thrown his mind into a blender and hit the high-speed
switch. His creativity was in a wild overdrive mode!
The ordeal had yet another phase; as he felt the energy still
seeping into him, he suddenly realized that he could somehow...
sense... his hardsuit, almost like he was becoming part of his
suit. It was an utterly alien feeling, cold and frightening: in
place of nerves, it felt like he had wires; in place of his skin,
he could feel hard armour plating. In place of his mind....
"NOOOOO!!!!!!" He howled, fury and stark terror igniting
within him. "LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!" He was not going to just sit there
while some...some....some THING decided to alter his very being. He
was never, ever going to be forced to do something he didn't want
to do, or to become something he didn't want to be. In the depths
of his mind, SkyKnight grabbed onto that spar of stubborn, angry
defiance, and began using it like a crowbar to force back, somehow,
the energy affecting him.
"MORTAL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" the voice asked suddenly,
sounding worried.
"I. Will. Not. Be. Controlled. By. ANYONE!!" Bert snarled back
through clenched teeth. He didn't really understand how he was
doing it, but it felt like he was succeeding in reversing what was
being done to him. The pain was incredible, though; he felt like he
was being flayed alive.
"YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE DOING. THE CONSEQUENCES OF
YOUR ACTIONS WILL BE DIRE INDEED IF YOU DO NOT ACCEPT YOUR FATE."
"Fate?!" the silver Knight Saber howled. "FATE?! This isn't
fate!! I'm being railroaded, you bastard!! I don't want whatever it
is you're trying to foist off on me!!" There was a moment of
silence in which everything seemed to freeze for an instant. When
the reply finally came, it was utterly final.
"IT WILL NOT BE ALLOWED. YOU *MUST* ACCEPT THE CHARGE THAT HAS
BEEN GIVEN TO YOU."
The energy enveloping SkyKnight suddenly squeezed agonizingly,
gouging into him again and destroying the foothold he'd gained
against it. As he thrashed helplessly, barely hanging on to
consciousness from the pain, he heard the voice again.
"I AM SORRY, BUT YOU NO LONGER HAVE A CHOICE IN THE MATTER."

RANMAVERSE...

Twister's roommate Yasuro looked up from his computer when he
heard the door open, and raised his eyebrows when he saw who stood
in the door. "That's dangerous, Twister. You shouldn't come in like
that," he advised, waving at Darlene's female state as she quickly
walked inside and closed the door.
Darlene sighed as she dropped her stuff on the floor. "Well,
I was going to change at Nabiki's, but nobody was there and I
wanted to get back in a hurry to relax."
"How was the trip?"
"Oh, eventful," Darlene said, grinning tiredly at the massive
understatement. "I got chucked into another universe for a few
years and I just got back." Yasuro had been turning back to his
computer, but he did a double-take when he heard that.
"Another...universe? Years?" he said hesitantly. The red-head
didn't look any different to Yasuro, but he'd learned his roommate
was odder than most people.
"Yup!" She smiled impishly at her roommate before picking up
her stuff again. "It's happened to me before, as you well know,
only this time I managed to make a spell to get back to this one."
"I... see." Yasuro rubbed the back of his neck as he digested
this. "In that case, will you be going back to your home universe?"
"I..." Darlene paused at the question, then walked into her
room to drop off her stuff before coming back to drop down on the
couch with a heavy, heartfelt sigh. "I'm not sure. I guess I
should." She threw up her arms. "But I just got back to THIS one!"
she said, finishing with a yawn. "And it wasn't easy, so I'll be
around for a while."
"Never mind the fact that Nabiki's in this universe. Right?"
Blushing furiously, startling Yasuro at the large display of
emotion, Darlene ducked her head. "That's also true," she said in
a low voice.
"Aren't you going to change back?" he said, changing the
topic. "Not that I mind having my roommate looking like a cute
girl." Darlene blushed again as she scowled at him.
She stood up, yawning once more. "Yeah, I'd better. I got used
to being female most of the time in the other universe. I'll tell
you about it later. Right now, I need sleep."
"I guess I can wait." Yasuro grinned as the suddenly weary
Darlene stumbled for the bathroom for hot water, thinking that his
roommate certainly wasn't dull. Not by a long shot.
*****
The rest of the week was blissfully ordinary. The only problem
was that Nabiki seemed to have her hands full until the weekend,
and even that message was given by Yuriko, Nabiki's roommate. The
blue-haired girl also happened to share the same magic class with
Darlene and was a good friend with both of the two. Natsumi, a
magic-user and Nabiki's rival for Twister, tried to take advantage
of Nabiki's absense, but she seemed to sense that Twister had
realized some time ago whom he really loved. She tried to hide her
disappointment, staying friends with him, but she never asked him
for a date anytime that week.
Finally, Saturday arrived and Twister teleported to Nabiki's
place to pick her up so they could both go to the Tendo Dojo. The
first thing they did upon seeing each other was kiss deeply, Yuriko
enviously sighing when she saw this.
"My," Nabiki said with a warm smile when they separated, still
in each other's arms, "you're certainly enthusiastic today."
"It's been some time since I saw you last," he replied
truthfully enough.
"How was that trip you went on with your professor?"
"Long," he sighed.
"Hmm. You'll have to tell me about it some time." She smiled.
"Uh, yeah. We'd better get going though. See you later,
Yuriko." Their blue-haired friend waved at them and they
disappeared.
They were happily welcomed by everyone when they arrived at
the Tendo Dojo, although Twister had to dodge Happousai's welcoming
pail of water. The old hentai was promptly blasted away by his
newly-developed pure-TK energy blasts, the only thing he had cause
to thank Madagan for showing him the ability during his stay in the
Bubblegum Crisis universe.
Twister soon found himself in his old room, thinking. It
hadn't been meant to be a guest room, originally, but with all the
people arriving in and out of the dojo since Ranma's arrival, it
had been deemed necessary. He had been placed in it when he had
first started living at the dojo, so there were quite a few
pleasant memories associated with the now-empty room.
He had come here to try to figure out when the best time to
tell Nabiki what had happened would be. Some things were best left
unmentioned, like the time he had been nearly killed and had an arm
and a leg blown off; he wasn't sure how she would react to that. He
wasn't sure he wanted to know.
"Argh. When should I tell her? I can't keep it a secret
forever," he said aloud, quietly talking to himself. He shuddered
at the thought of telling her about Lotion; maybe that was one
thing best left unsaid. He sighed, and reached for the ceiling,
stretching a bit.
"Well, at least nothing else could happen...."
He should've known better.

SOMEWHERE....CLOSE....

"IT IS DONE."
"No," SkyKnight croaked weakly. "Damn it, no...." He felt
absolutely horrible, almost like he'd been torn apart and glued
back together with five-minute epoxy. Every muscle was stiff and
sore, and he desperately needed a drink of water. He tried moving,
but found he still couldn't; he'd been immobilized at some time
during the `process' that had been inflicted on him. He had the
impression of floating, but couldn't really say why.
"I CANNOT DETERMINE IF YOU HAVE INJURED YOURSELF BY YOUR
STRUGGLE," the voice boomed. "HOWEVER, THERE IS NO MORE TIME IN
WHICH TO DO SO. YOU MUST GO, NOW. FAREWELL."
"Wait a minute," SkyKnight rasped, trying to look around. "Go
where?! Damn it, what is going on here?!" A loud roar began to
sound in his ears, and he suddenly felt like he was being sucked
into a vortex of some kind. The multicolored cloud around him began
to recede.
"Goddamn it!" SkyKnight yelled at the retreating cloud. "What
is happening?!"
The silver-garbed Knight Saber never received an answer.

RANMAVERSE...

The moment after Twister uttered the words, he regretted them.
Somebody, somewhere seemed to have heard the words that were a Very
Bad Thing To Come From One's Mouth.
He was abruptly glad he had been standing close to the door,
for in the middle of the room, a...a rip, for lack of a better
term, in the fabric of space/time opened wide on the floor, jagged
waves of purple light lining the disturbing sight. A purple light
that suddenly seemed very, very familiar to the psionist. He felt
his stomach sink with a premonition of impending disaster.
Then he heard a voice beginning to come from the hole.
"........aaaaaAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMNNNNNNN IIIIITTTTTT!!!!!"
Something large, metallic, and glowing purple was spat upwards
from the gap-in-space near the floor; the portal closed instantly
with an echoing rumble, almost like thunder.
The object the rift had spat out almost hit the ceiling before
gravity finally stopped its ascent, pulling it into the floor in a
heavy-sounding crash. The humanoid shape hit face down with a
metallic clang, and also an audible grunt of pain. Purple radiance
limned the shape for a moment, then disappeared, the energy seeming
to soak into it as it vanished. During the entire time, the shape
twitched as if connected to an electrical current.
Looking at it closely, Twister recognized it as some kind of
hardsuit, or its equivalent, wherever it came from. The wings built
into the shoulder blades, and the jet pack assembly, similar in
configuration to a Boomer's, suggested flight capabilities,
although short or long range he didn't know. Its coloring was dark
blue and silver, the blue mostly on the shoulderpads, and silver
for the rest of the body.
If it weren't for the fact that the contours of the hardsuit
suggested a man, and that he'd never heard of anything remotely
resembling this strange design that looked similar to old-fashioned
knight's armour, Twister would've thought this stranger was a
Knight Saber. A little belatedly, he visually checked for weapons,
and saw twin muzzles on either arm, apparently apertures for some
kind of energy weapon. There were twin objects mounted on its
shoulders that were likely weapons as well, but he was disinclined
to scan the suit with TK. That would be rude.
"Ohhhhh," the hardsuit groaned, as it struggled to get up. The
silver-garbed form unsteadily weaved to its hands and knees, "DAMN
but was that a rough ride!" it said in Japanese. The armoured shape
slowly straightened up. "I've got to get those stabilizers
checked." There were some cracks and pops from the silver figure as
it stretched cautiously.
"If you're okay, do you mind telling me who you are and how
the heck you got here?" Twister asked mildly, speaking for the
first time since the new arrival's entrance.
The helmet jerked around to look at him, and he was instantly
reminded of an old television show, Battlestar Galactica, with the
evil Cylons and their glowing red visor eyeslots: his visitor
sported a glowing crimson, V-shaped slot in his visor. While the
strange traveller didn't seem evil, he prepared himself for a
fight, just in case.
"How I got HERE?? Where the hell IS here?!" the figure
demanded, a hint of panic in his voice as he waved powerful-looking
arms around to indicate the general area. The helmet on the suit
swivelled around, as if trying to find something familiar-looking.
"This is the Tendo Dojo. Nerima, Japan," Twister said,
answering him before repeating his own question. "Who are you?"
"Uh? Oh, I'm....SkyKnight," Bert answered distractedly, still
a little dazed from the express trip, and the sudden stop he'd
taken. "Tendo...Tendo... Now why the hell does that sound so damn
familiar?"
On a hunch, Twister started giving names. "Nabiki Tendo, Akane
Tendo, Ranma Saotome, Genma..." When he saw SkyKnight slap hands on
his helmet, he stopped the recitation.
"R-R-Ranma?! RANMA 1/2????" Bert gaped inside his helmet. No
way!! It was impossible!!
"I take it you've seen the show," Twister said wryly,
beginning to become curious, as the stranger had used the anime and
manga's more popular title. That meant he came from a place that
had the show.
"Me? What about you?? Who are you?!" This was getting crazier
by the minute; first that rift with its purple energy bolt, then
the ride to end all rides, now THIS! Bert tried futilely to wring
some kind of sense from everything that was going on.
"My name's Twister. I got dragged into this universe by a
miscast spell," the young psionist replied. Immediately, he could
almost feel the disbelief from the silver figure when he mentioned
that word. "Yes, it was magic, and along the way I got altered by
something so that I don't need to worry too much about the fights
that usually happen around here." He demonstrated by snapping off
a few punches and kicks that Bert had trouble seeing at all.
"What's your story?"
"Oh, what the Hell." Bert shrugged mentally; he'd have to tell
someone so he could get home, and this guy seemed to be friendly
enough. "My real name is Bert, and I was...not dragged really, even
though I don't know how it happened, taken from my universe and
landed in another."
"Wait a second," Twister frowned. "You make it sound like this
isn't your first time."
"It isn't. My first experience with inter-dimensional travel
was a helluva lot nicer than this one. Just poof, and there I was.
This last one though..." He rubbed the side of his helmet, trying
to remember what had recently happened.
Unfortunately, there were some large gaps in his memory, holes
where...nothing seemed to exist. He could remember some parts of
his journey, like the really hair-raising near-collisions with what
had looked like large asteroids, but the rest was...hazy,
indefinite. He... he just couldn't remember much between his
disappearance from Mega-Tokyo, and his reappearance here.
There was also the fact that he felt...odd. He absolutely
ached all over, almost like every muscle in his body had been
cramped up for a long time. At the same time, however, he felt...
felt... he couldn't quite pin down what he was feeling, but it was
definitely different. He noted that Twister was waiting patiently,
tapping his foot, and pulled his mind off of considering his
condition, and continued explaining.
"I was just flying along, minding my own business, and then
this crazy bolt of purple lightning, or something, hits me from out
of this rift that appeared out of NOWHERE. The next thing I know
I'm on the rollercoaster ride from Hell," he fumed. "I mean, I LIKE
speed, but that ride was...hey, you okay?" he said, a little
concerned when he saw Twister's face develop a sickly, ashen
pallor.
"Did you say PURPLE lightning?" the psionist said, dreading
the answer.
"Yeah, purple. It was bloody weird." Seeing Twister groan and
cover his face with his hands, Bert started getting suspicious.
"Hey....you didn't have anything to do with that, did you?"
"I'm afraid I think I did," the young, brown-haired man
replied. He detected an almost instant rise in SkyKnight's
emotional temperature, and raised his hands to forestall an angry
reaction, trying to explain what he'd meant to the displaced silver
hardsuit.
"The same thing that changed my body and made it tougher, also
gave me powers, psionic and magical powers," the young man
explained, sighing. "Up until a little while ago, I was in the
Bubblegum Crisis universe and I....accidentally drew more magical
power, Wild Magic, than I could handle safely. I released all that
I had in order to get rid of it, and it vanished into a rift of
some kind. Wild Magic is what magical energy in its raw form is
called, I've found out." Twister sighed again, and looked directly
at Bert.
"And it looks like that bolt wound up hitting you, I'm
afraid."
"Oh, that's just perfect," SkyKnight retorted. "You always
fling trans-dimensional, reality-distorting bolts of magic through
the Void or something?!?"
"Hey, it wasn't exactly _planned_ at the time," Twister said,
defending himself.
"And that's supposed to make me feel better?!"
"I can try sending you back," Twister offered.
"No thanks," SkyKnight snorted. "I'll walk. I don't need a
grand tour of the cosmos, all expenses paid."
"Look, I'm really not that bad at handling magic."
"From where I'm standing, you're not that good, either."
"Okay, okay! Time out!" Twister shook his head. "We're not
getting anywhere with this."
"Gee, you mean you noticed?!" Bert blinked as Twister narrowed
his eyes at him. "Geez, you remind me of Sylia when you do that,"
he muttered.
Twister stared. "Wait a minute... You know Sylia?? As in the
Knight Sabers?!"
Bert pointed to the lettering on the side of his helmet
antenna wings. "Where else did you think I got a hardsuit? K-Mart?
Been with them since 2032."
"I thought so but... I don't remember you. Wait..." Twister
slapped his forehead. "Oh, right. Infinite possibilities. Must be
two completely different BGC universes."
"You've been to Mega-Tokyo too?"
Twister nodded and smiled. "And friends with the KS. That's
where I...er...lost it and released that energy."
"Why?"
"Madagan."
"Yeah, that would do it." SkyKnight suddenly chuckled, adding
"I think Priss would make a good second reason at times." They both
snickered for a moment. Bert sighed, glancing around at the room.
The floorboards creaked ominously under his armoured weight, and he
briefly hoped he wasn't going to wreck the place accidentally; he
knew the Tendo family had enough repair bills as it was with Ranma
around.
"The main question," he noted, "is what do I do now? I can't
exactly walk around here in my armour all the time. Besides the
fact that it's obviously technology years beyond what they have
here, it's more than a little noticeable."
"No!" Twister exclaimed dryly. "And here I thought everyone
had silver-and-blue hardsuits in their closets!"
"I need some helpful ideas," Bert growled irritably, "not
smart remarks. I get enough of that from Priss or Linna, thanks."
Twister grinned briefly, then turned thoughtful.
"Hmm. I think...." he started, when a loud yell from the
hallway drowned out all other sound in the house.
"Ranma!! You JEERRRRRKKK!!"
"Uh oh." SkyKnight started to turn around, when a running
young man with black hair, blue eyes, and Chinese clothing darted
into the room, moving almost inhumanly fast. He was evidently
fleeing someone's wrath, because he didn't even notice the
hardsuited figure standing next to Twister. Instead, he ducked
behind SkyKnight's armoured form.
Unfortunately, this left Bert standing in the direct line of
fire for what happened next.
"COME BACK HERE YOU JERK!!!" Akane's voice hollered from
outside the room. In the next instant, she came through the door
with a flying kick that was evidently intended for Ranma, but
instead connected with the displaced silver Knight Saber. There was
a loud clang, and a brief "Oh shiiiit!", as SkyKnight flew
backwards, smashing through the wall into the back yard beyond.
"Oh boy," Twister sighed, covering his eyes with a hand as a
loud clang followed by a splash sounded from the yard. Deathly
silence fell for a moment.
"What the heck was THAT thing, Twister?" Akane asked, puzzled,
having regained her composure for a moment. Ranma didn't say
anything; he was nervously watching Akane to make sure she wasn't
going to belt him.
Twister started to answer, but then there came the sound of a
surging blast that resolved into a howling drone of some kind from
the backyard. A moment later, a dripping and slightly dented
silver-clad form loomed in the hole in the wall. Akane and Ranma
backed away a step as SkyKnight clambered back into the room
through the hole. The balefully-glowing eyeslot on his helmet swung
over to regard Twister.
"I've changed my mind," the armour-clad figure told him. "I'm
leaving the suit on; it's MUCH safer. For me, I mean." The helmet
swivelled to pin Ranma with a red-lit glance.
"You're Ranma, I presume," Bert inquired. Ranma nodded.
"Good," SkyKnight said. "I have some advice for you: don't get
me involved in your fights. I don't need the hassle. As it stands
now, I think I owe you at least...this!"
The silver Knight Saber's hand flashed forwards, grabbing
Ranma by the tunic front. Before anyone else in the room could
react, SkyKnight casually pitched the young man out the hole in the
wall, headfirst. A loud splash sounded again.
"Now we're even!" SkyKnight called out the hole. Akane stared
at him incredulously.
"You're not going to have problems fitting in," Twister
assured him, shaking his head with a wry grin. "The only problem
you may have is staying in one piece."
"You asked for it, you creep!!!" Ranma-chan's angry voice
sounded from below as running footsteps pounded up the stairs.
As SkyKnight readied himself for an attack, Twister stepped in
front of him and started to shout to Ranma. "Forget about it,
Ranma! The guy's just a little mad right now."
"A little?" murmured Bert.
"So calm down and..."
Drenched from the pond, Ranma-chan hadn't listened and came
tearing into the room, starting to leap at the target of her anger.
However, Twister had began to walk closer to the door and both were
unprepared to prevent a collision. They collided with a wet smack
and Ranma-chan, being somewhat airborne at the time, hit high
enough so that Twister's face was in the middle of her chest as
they both toppled over.
SkyKnight winced inside his armour. If he had been hit by
someone going as fast as Ranma-chan without his armour, he would
have expected _something_ to be hurt on his person. Fortunately, he
had been told by Twister that changes had been done to the
psionist's body that allowed him to be able to survive things that
happened routinely here. Indeed, he chuckled a bit when he noticed
one of Twister's hands, fingers drumming the floor impatiently
after a second when Ranma-chan didn't move. This was because of the
argument that she and Akane had started up when Ranma-chan, who
hadn't bothered lifting herself off of Twister, continued unabated.
"Baka! Look what you did!" AKane yelled.
"Hey! It's not _my_ fault Twister got in the way!"
"Stupid! You're the one who wasn't looking!"
"Hey, you uncute tomboy, look who's talking!"
"You ducked behind that guy!"
"Hah! I..."
"Ahem," SkyKnight interrupted, and when both angrily looked at
him, he mutely pointed to the drumming fingers. Ranma-chan now
remembered her position on top of Twister. Red-faced, she hurriedly
scrambled to get off of him. However, he wasn't a he anymore as a
result of Ranma-chan's wet clothes soaking Twister enough to
trigger the change.
Darlene sucked in a huge breath and sat up panting. "Finally!
I breathe once more."
Still flushing, Ranma-chan said, "Gomen. Why didn't you say or
do something?!" Her `twin' snorted a little.
"I was afraid of being punched through the floor considering
where my face was, that's why," Darlene said as she stood up.
Needless to say, Bert was just a tad bit surprised when he saw
Twister had become a look-alike of Ranma-chan. He was ready for
Ranma's change, but not this one. "What the...? You too? Hey,
shouldn't you look like a female version of yourself?"
Darlene sighed. "Complications. Something else affected the
curse and I'm not sure myself what all the ramifications are."
SkyKnight affected a thoughtful pose. "Well, at least now I
know."
"Know what?"
"How they manage to get shots of both Ranma and his female
side in the same picture." He had to laugh at the look on Darlene's
face. Ranma-chan stared in confusion from the silver-armoured
stranger doubled over in howling laughter, to Darlene, who had an
expression wavering between serious irritation and grudging
amusement.
"What's he talking about?" she inquired. Behind her, Akane had
a similar puzzled look.
"It's a long story," Darlene sighed, covering her eyes with a
hand. "I can explain later. Will you knock it off?!" she snapped to
the still-laughing SkyKnight. "It wasn't that funny!"
"You didn't see the look on your face," he replied,
snickering. At length he regained control of himself, looking over
at Darlene. "Seriously, though, I'm going to have to take the suit
off soon and power down. I'll have to risk getting knocked through
the wall again, I guess." The helmet cocked in a sideways glance at
Akane, who flushed guiltily.
"Well, if Akane can hold onto her temper for once, it
shouldn't be a problem," Ranma-chan assured him. Darlene smacked a
hand over her face, again, looking imploringly at the ceiling.
"What do you mean, `if I can hold onto my temper'?" Akane
asked, eyes narrowing angrily. "I wouldn't have to worry about
losing it if you'd stop being such a jerk all the time!" Ranma-chan
stalked over to stand nose-to-nose with her.
"Well if you wouldn't overreact all the time to everything I
say..."
"QUIIIIEEEEETTTT!!!!!!!" SkyKnight thundered, cranking his
helmet amplifiers to maximum, almost blasting everyone out the door
with the sound shockwaves. Stunned silence filled the room for a
moment. "Thank you! Could we PLEASE shelve the bickering?! You two
sound worse than chickens on a manure pile!!" Darlene burst out
laughing at his comparison; Ranma-chan and Akane glanced at each
other quizzically, and then nodded. With blinding speed, they both
kicked the silver hardsuit back out the wall in a perfectly
synchronized set of double kicks. There was another clang and
splash. Ranma-chan stuck her head out the hole.
"Who asked you to butt in, you tin-plated creep?!" she yelled.
"I...YEEEE-IPE!!!" She ducked as a blindingly bright red energy
blast slammed through the hole, barely missing her, opening a new
skylight in the roof. There was the angry roar of jet turbines from
outside, like someone had just landed an F-16 on the lawn. Scant
seconds later, the hole in the wall became slightly larger as
SkyKnight bashed through the suffering edifice.
"I don't normally fight women," he snarled at Ranma-chan,
"especially wet-behind-the-ears twerps like you, but in this case,
I think I can make an exception." Ranma-chan's blue eyes flared
angrily, and she got set in a ready stance.
"I'm a guy, you oversized, chrome-plated, bolt-bucket!!" she
shot back. The two began circling each other warily, and Darlene
realized she was going to have to intervene, and fast, as the two
combatants flicked punches at each other, ducking and weaving at
flashing speeds. Akane had backed against the wall, out of the way
of the rampaging pair.
Darlene's mind raced, trying to come up with some kind of
spell to stop them, but she couldn't think of any made to stop
fights peacefully. Oh well, she was going to have to wing it. She
squared her shoulders and took a deep breath, as SkyKnight and
Ranma-chan stepped apart for a moment. As they got ready to go at
it again, she chanted:

"Before this spat gets out of hand,
Fighters now freeze where all you stand!"

Instantly, SkyKnight and the red-headed, pig-tailed girl
froze, like sculpture. Frost appeared on SkyKnight's armour plating
and Ranma-chan's clothing as they stood there. Oops, she'd thought
of just making them immobile but an image of ice statues had crept
in. They couldn't move, which was good, but their temperatures
seemed to be dropping rapidly.
"Now then," Darlene said, dividing her glare between Bert,
Akane, and Ranma-chan. "Can we all behave like adults now?" She
mentally cancelled the spell before the two immobile forms got too
cold, and both stumbled when released.
"D-d-d-id y-y-you have t-to s-stop us t-that way?" Ranma-chan
chattered through her teeth, hugging herself for warmth. Darlene
didn't say the spell hadn't exactly done what she had wanted.
"It worked didn't it? You seem to not be wanting to fight
anymore."
"I n-need to s-soak in the b-bathroom." Forgetting all about
SkyKnight and Akane, Ranma-chan rushed out of the room.
"Interesting way of stopping a fight," SkyKnight commented.
"Err...yeah. Normally I don't do that, but you're new here."
Darlene's brow furrowed. "You don't sound like you're cold."
"I was," SkyKnight said smugly. "but my suit's environmental
sensors re-activated after you unfroze us and thawed me out a
little with my heating systems."
Darlene blinked. "I didn't realize I did that. Still...I guess
I realized your suit needed to be frozen too."
"Um..." Akane wasn't sure what to make of the silver armoured
figure. "Who are you anyway?"
"I'm called...SkyKnight," Bert boomed dramatically through his
speakers with his modulated voice.
"I can see you don't like the name, but we can call you
something else if you want..." Darlene offered, grinning.
"A-HEM!" SkyKnight cleared his throat, glaring a little at the
two whose lips were twitching with amusement. "But you can call me
Bert." He flipped up the helmet visor, revealing snarled red hair
and greenish-brown eyes. He smiled at Akane, making her feel more
relaxed now that she could see his face. He looked at Darlene.
"Until I can return back to the universe from where I was _yanked_
from, that is. Hint, hint."
"I get the point," Darlene sourly said. "I _said_ it was an
accident. And I _have_ successfully travelled from one universe to
another, on my own for once. It shouldn't be too hard sending you
back to the right BGC universe. It'll just take me a little time
figuring out how to send you to a universe that I've never been
to."
"And in the meantime...?" inquired Bert.
"Well...me and Nabiki are living by the University now so I'd
imagine... Umm... Akane...?"
She nodded. "Sure. He can stay with us until you can send him
back." Akane smiled at Darlene. "We survived having you here so he
shouldn't be any problem."
"Thanks...I think." Darlene looked up at Bert's face. "Well?"
"Do I have a choice?"
"Not really, no."
"Then I accept your kind offer to grant refuge to this errant
Knight, M'Lady." Bert bowed deeply to Akane, who blushed from his
thanks.
"Gmph," Darlene struggled not to laugh.
Akane whirled on her. "What's so funny?!"
"Just imagining what would happen if Kunou or Ranma saw Bert
doing that to you. Probably over-react, as usual."
"Over-react?" Bert queried, looking from Darlene to a now
concerned-looking Akane, who nodded.
"Ranma tends to act without thinking..."
"I DO NOT!!!!" blared a voice from the bathroom.
"...and he might misinterpret your actions, meaning a fight."
she finished, ignoring the interruption. "Kunou, well... Kunou
challenges everyone who even speaks to me to a fight. He's the
fencing champion of my high school."
"Fencing, huh?" Bert grinned evilly, as his right arm came up.
"Wonder what he'd think of...this!" A crackling snap-hiss split the
air, and a humming, blue-white blade of energy sizzled into
existence. Akane shied backwards in shock. After a moment the blade
disappeared with another snap-hiss. Darlene stared, jaw hanging.
"Was that a ...?"
"Yup. An elegant weapon, from a more civilized age," Bert
stated airily, grinning fiendishly. He sighed a moment later.
"Don't worry though, I'd never use it on a person, even if they do
chop through concrete walls with a wooden sword." Something
suddenly beeped audibly in his suit.
"Damn," he muttered, then looked at Akane. "I think you'd
better show me that room, quick. I'm five minutes from total
shutdown."
"Okay," she agreed. "Follow me." She left the room. Before he
followed, Bert looked over at Darlene.
"Since you're the resident magic whiz around here, could you
magic up a few clothes for me?" he asked. "I'm not exactly packed
for the occasion."
"No problem," Darlene nodded. "Any preferences?"
"Jeans and a sweater, with running shoes. That should about
cover it," Bert replied, before squeezing through the door to
follow Akane, armour clanking.
*****
"Well whaddaya know?" Darlene quipped from where she was
leaning against the corridor wall as Bert re-emerged from the guest
room. He was now clad in blue jeans, a dark blue long-sleeved
sweater and white sneakers. "There was actually a human being under
all that iron!" Akane had a faintly appraising look in her eyes as
she looked him over; he was tall and broad across the shoulders,
and not exactly unhandsome-looking, either.
"Ceramel."
"Huh?!" Akane and Darlene glanced at each other, confused.
"I don't use iron," Bert explained. "It's too heavy. My armour
uses high-impact plastics, polymers and ceramic-metal alloys."
Darlene gaped for a moment, then slapped a hand over her face.
"I was joking!" she sighed. "Don't tell me you couldn't
tell?!"
"I knew," he replied blandly, amusement flickering briefly in
his eyes. "However, watching your jaw drop when I got technical was
much more fun."
"You're sure you want to put up with this guy?" Darlene asked
Akane again, as they turned to go downstairs. The black-haired girl
nodded, grinning.
"He couldn't possibly create more problems than you and Ranma
combined," she deadpanned. Bert burst out laughing as Darlene
flushed bright red.
"Of course," he noted a moment later with a wicked grin, "I
haven't been here that long yet!" They passed the bathroom door,
and Darlene ducked inside. Twister re-emerged a moment later.
Strangely, he wasn't wet. Bert put it down to magic, even though
thinking about `magic' per se was enough to give him the creeps.
"Hey! Long time no see!" Bert cracked with a grin. "What kept
you?"
"Just give it a rest, will you?" Twister asked plaintively.
Bert chuckled.
"I'll try," he promised. "But don't expect miracles."
"Well, you're going to have to watch it with the smart remarks
around here," Twister informed him. "My sense of humour got me into
all kinds of problems the first time I arrived, and from what I can
see, your sense of humour is as bad, if not worse, than mine."
"What a horrible thought," Akane commented impishly. "Another
person just like Twister." They both started a retort, when
Kasumi's voice floated up from the dining room, calling out
"Dinner!".
"Aha!" Bert exclaimed, rubbing his hands together. "Methinks
I dost hear a summons worthy of being answered!"
"Oh brother..." Twister groaned, looking towards heaven for
some kind of guidance as Akane burst out laughing.
"_You're_ one to talk, Twister," said Nabiki as the three
entered the dining area and sat down at the table. "I've heard
similar things coming from you." She just smiled as a raised
eyebrow turned in her direction.
"Do you want me to stop?" Twister said as he leaned a little
closer to Nabiki, a slightly mischievous smile on his face. She
leaned forward as well.
"Oh, I didn't say _that_. Merely stating my observations from
our close contact." A lazy smile grew as they leaned further.
"Should we get closer? For... more accurate conclusions?" A
sigh interrupted the two and they were suddenly reminded where they
were. Both straightened, Twister slightly red and Nabiki merely
smiling.
"Who's your friend?" she inquired curiously.
"His name's Bert and he...ah...just dropped in," Twister
replied.
Bert sighed again, staring off into space with a gloomy
expression. "I hope I get back soon. I miss Nene already."
"Nene?!?" Twister cried disbelievingly. "You mean....?" Bert
seemed to come back from somewhere infinitely far away as he looked
over at him.
"Yes, we're going out. Does that sound so strange?"
"Well...I guess not." Twister shook his head. "It's just that
I've been her friend for such a long time... uh..." He cast a
suddenly nervous glance at Nabiki who seemed to have lost her
amusement; the others were just wondering what he and Bert were
talking about.
"I'm dating a different Nene but I guess they should be pretty
similar. Um..." Bert looked at Twister, then Nabiki, then Twister
again. "Am I missing something?"
"Ah..."
"Yes, I think we are," Nabiki said in a slightly chill and
threatening tone of voice. Bert's eyes widened as the light dawned;
he'd heard that tone of voice from Nene occasionally. "Just _when_
exactly did you meet this `Nene', Twister?"
The focus of Nabiki's frosty gaze squirmed a bit. "Ah...that
weekend I helped Prof. Miyabi. Sorta."
Inquisitor Nabiki turned to Bert. "And you're from another
universe? Like Twister?" He nodded uncertainly and wondered where
this was leading.
She faced Twister again, food forgotten. "I remember you once
telling me that one could leave a universe for a very long time and
come back at almost the same time they left." Bert brightened at
that; he wouldn't be worrying the Knight Sabers with a protracted
absence.
"Yes... That's true..." This was dragged out reluctantly from
Twister.
Nabiki narrowed her eyes. "How long?"
"Nabiki, I was going to tell you..."
"How... _long_...?" There was steel in her voice now.
"A few, um, years." Everyone gaped at this admission, except
Nabiki.
"Why?" She seemed only to be able to speak in one syllable
words. Everyone around the table was surprised at her behaviour, as
this wasn't usual Nabiki style. She seemed quite mad though she
kept it well in control.
Twister sighed in resignation. "An accident happened and I was
thrown into another universe. I found out my magic was a little
off-kilter from what threw me out of this universe so I didn't
attempt to return until some time after Sylia, another friend, gave
me advice to correct it. Nene and Linna found me when I appeared
without my memory, which I got back quickly. I had to stay female
most of the time there and making a spell to return on my own
wasn't easy in any case." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I guess
I felt a little embarrassed when I got back so I didn't say
anything."
"How long after you got the advice from this `Sylia' person
did you wait?"
"Several months," Twister admitted slowly, not meeting her
eyes. "I just couldn't pack up and leave at the time."
"Why not?"
"Because by then he felt responsible for a lot of what was
happening," Bert interrupted quietly as Twister opened his mouth.
He cocked his head sideways, regarding Twister with a searching
gaze, an expression of complete understanding on his face. "If you
were there for a few years," he continued, "long enough to become
friends with all of the Knight Sabers, then it follows that you
also built yourself a hardsuit and were helping them out from time
to time. If I'm not completely out in left field, I'd say your suit
was probably patterned after a medieval armour suit, and you were
playing the chivalric knight type."
"Is he right?" Nabiki demanded. Twister sighed again.
"Mostly," he conceded. "It's a long story, but I was helping
out the Knight Sabers. Quite a bit, actually." His gaze narrowed as
he half-glared at Bert. "Just how did you know that?"
"I guessed," Bert admitted calmly. "However, you're looking at
another `noble knight' type. Priss's favourite joke is calling me
`The Knight-in-shining-armour', because that's the way I conduct
myself, most of the time. My chivalric ideals were the basis for my
SkyKnight designs. I recognized some of your quirks as being
similar to mine, and figured that you'd done exactly, more or less,
what I did."
"Uh, excuse me?" Ranma interrupted, a slightly stunned
expression on his face, an expression mirrored by almost everyone
else in the room. "What are you talking about? Who are these
`Knight Sabers' you keep mentioning?" Bert and Twister exchanged a
glance; Bert shrugged, and Twister decided to start from his end
first. Before he started his tale, Kasumi interrupted.
"You'd better eat before it gets cold," she reminded everyone.
Servings were quickly dished out, and Twister got ready to start
over again. This time, Bert interrupted.
"Uhh, sorry," he said, red-faced, holding up a pair of
chopsticks. "Anybody got a fork?"
*****
Happousai listened carefully from behind the door. He hated
not eating one of Kasumi's meals, but since Twister was here that
would be a bad idea as the two did not get along for several
reasons.
None of them Happousai's fault of course.
It was so frustrating to fight the young whippersnapper. While
he seemed to be reluctant to use those mind powers of his in
fights, he made Happousai the exception. That he didn't need to
come close to the old hentai to beat him senseless or punt him into
the sky was a source of endless frustration, and thus his caution.
He could wait for his revenge. Sooner or later, everyone
became vulnerable sometime.
He could wait.
But now it was time to collect more PANTIES!
*****
"Between the two of you, you've had quite a time," Akane
remarked as Bert concluded his story with getting yanked out of a
leisurely flight over Mega-Tokyo by some strange energy field.
Twister shook his head disbelievingly, but didn't comment. The rest
of the Tendo family was pretty much speechless, and Ranma's father
looked like he was in the same state. The two different Knight
Saber sagas that Twister and Bert had revealed had some basic
similarities in the two universes, but diverged sharply at certain
key events.
Bert hadn't told them everything, however; he'd left out a few
key events that had happened to himself, and the results they'd had
on him. At the moment, he didn't trust anyone enough to reveal the
fact that he still had a few....problems. Sure, he trusted Twister,
at least, he thought he did, but there were some things he just was
not going to discuss openly. Bert concealed the brief flash of fury
that flashed through him, and he tried hard not to think about
Hollister; he'd been doing that way too much lately, even before
his current predicament had happened. The last thing he needed
right now was to lose control...
"What I can't believe," Ranma spoke up, unknowingly
interrupting his line of thought, "is just how much alike you two
are. That's scary." SkyKnight's gloomy thoughts receded, and his
lurking sense of humour briefly appeared again.
"Be afraid! Be very afraid! You are about to enter a region
where time and space as we know it does not exist," Bert intoned
sonorously.
"You are about to enter.." Twister continued, glancing at Bert
with a crooked grin, as they both chorused, "The Twilight Zone!" A
chorus of groans answered them.
Kasumi began clearing the table, and Genma and Soun vanished
to somewhere else in the house. Probably so they didn't have to sit
looking at the new extra-dimensional traveller, Bert figured
glumly, his momentary cheer disappearing. Twister evidently had
picked up on his mood shift.
"Hey!" he suddenly exclaimed. "It's a Saturday night, so why
don't we go downtown for a while? Maybe see a movie or something."
"I'm broke," Bert replied absently, chin propped on his hand.
"Unless they take credit cards from 2034."
"Don't worry," Twister assured him. "Money's no problem. Come
on, you can't sit here and brood all night."
"I suppose you're right," he sighed, stiffly unfolding himself
from his cushion, and standing up. Several pops sounded from his
knee joints and back as he stretched, briefly towering over
everything. Everyone else also stood, minus the sound effects.
"You're a walking noisemaker," Twister grinned.
"_You_ get injured so many times that your doctor now lives in
a four-car garage, and then we'll see what you sound like," Bert
complained.
"I think I'll stay home," Nabiki said with a cool tone, and
left the group. Twister didn't move but sadly watched her leave.
"Twister," Akane started to say, "why didn't you..."
"I'd better leave her alone right now," he sighed. "I
should've told her about my little trip sooner."
"What movie didya want to go to?" Ranma interrupted, making
Akane give him a quick glare.
"I'm not sure," Twister admitted.
"Any Star Wars films playing?" Bert said half-heartedly.
Twister eyed him strangely. "Actually, there's going to be a
showing of the Star Wars trilogy at my university in one of the
bigger classrooms. Subtitled, of course."
"Really??" An odd, almost insane, light grew in Bert's eyes as
he smiled. "Let's go!! Hey..." He frowned. "How far is it? How do
we get there?" The other three smiled.
"It's called...the Twister method," grinned the brown-haired
young man.
"Huh? What..."
They vanished.
*****
"...do you mea...erk!"
The room had changed from the Tendo residence dining room to
a smaller one that had a computer on a desk by one wall. Bert
slowly felt a couch that was by another wall, confirmed it was
real, and sat on it.
"You can tel...teleport that fast, and _other_ people too?" He
said faintly.
"I didn't mention that, did I?" Twister grinned as he looked
around. "My roommate isn't around. Hm. Too bad. He's a nice guy.
You'd like him. Actually," he commented, "it's good we came here.
Otherwise, we would've either been attacked, or have Ranma
shanghaied."
"Shanghaied?" Bert repeated, glancing over at the
black-haired, blue-eyed young man. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Never mind," Ranma told him, flushing and glaring briefly at
Twister. "It's a long story, and one I'd rather not hear repeated
right now."
"Come on," Akane said. "If we want to get to these shows on
time, we'd better get going."
"True," Twister grinned. He swept open the room door, grandly
proclaiming "Ladies first." Akane swept primly out of the room,
stifling a grin. Ranma looked skeptically at the grinning
brown-haired young man by the door, but he wisely didn't comment,
and followed Akane out. Twister glanced over at Bert, who was still
trying to wrap his mind around the `teleportation' concept. From
the look on his face, he wasn't having much luck; he looked like he
had acute indigestion.
"Coming?" Twister inquired pointedly. Bert started, then
grinned ruefully and ducked out the door. Twister followed, closing
and locking the door behind him.
*****
"Hito?"
"Hmm?" Hito looked at his friend who sat beside him. "What is
it, Morio?"
"Why are we sitting here watching Star Wars?"
The hentai duo were sitting in the auditorium that was
doubling as a theatre for the viewing of the trilogy. Having
brought their own refreshments they had plenty of food with them.
However, they weren't getting into the spirit of things, unlike
someone else in the room who was quoting many of lines in very good
English.
Hito shrugged. "Because we weren't doing anything else?"
"Exactly!" Morio said triumphantly. "We've lost our energy,
our purpose of life! Of late we've been getting less and less
enthusiastic about school and our normal social lives."
"Normal?" Hito wondered at that coming from Morio.
"And I know the reason!" Morio stated. "It's because we've not
been following our true hentai natures! We haven't done anything
worthy of hentai vision in so long we are losing our energy, the
blood that flows through our bodies." Abruptly he stood up. "Come
on!" he commanded his partner.
"Where are we going?" Hito inquired.
"First, we'll walk into the women's changerooms for the gym;
the female volleyball team should be in there tonight and it'll
give us a jump-start to fuel our hentai energies."
Hito's heart raced at the thought of it and he realized that
Morio was right. It HAD been too long. "And then?"
"Then we get to work!"
Sitting by Bert, Twister saw two figures leave the room. Hito
and Morio he noticed, but gave their departure no significance.
"Once I was the student, now I am the Master," Bert said in a
low voice beside him and Darth Vader echoed him a half-second
later.
Twister rolled his eyes and forgot about the two.
*****
"We didn't need to see the movies," Twister wryly commented as
they left the auditorium. "You're a walking dialogue library by
yourself." Bert grinned sheepishly as Akane and Ranma snickered.
"Sorry," he apologized. "I've seen them several dozen times,
and I love a lot of the quotes."
"We'd noticed," Akane remarked dryly. Bert flushed again, but
didn't reply. They walked through the doors to the outside, Bert
and Twister unconsciously sweeping the doors open for Akane.
"Would you two quit that?!" Ranma demanded in exasperation.
"It's only Akane!"
"Hey!! A few manners wouldn't hurt YOU any!" she flared,
glaring at him.
"Hold! Cease fire!" Bert intoned, stepping (perhaps unwisely)
between them. "Wouldn't you much rather argue in private?" he
inquired. They both flushed, and looked away, refusing to look at
each other. Twister sighed, looking heavenward. They never learned.
The small group started moving across the campus. It was a
fairly scenic locale, with trees and shrubs tastefully arranged in
small planters along the paths, and some small park areas
interspersed between the buildings. As they walked, Bert looked
around, admiring some of the scenery. He wasn't really watching
where he was walking, though, and he crashed into someone a moment
after Twister, Akane and Ranma all yelled "Look out!"
"Damn it!" he swore under his breath, reeling backwards and
gingerly feeling his nose, which had preceded him in the collision.
At the same time, he heard a VERY pompous voice saying, "What
stumbling, uncoordinated, benighted knave dares to so rudely
collide with Tatewaki Kunou?" Oh shit, part of Bert's mind noted,
as he blinked, clearing his watering eyes. Akane stepped between
him and the irate, dark brown-haired kendo champion.
"It was an accident, Kunou," she told him. "He's new around,
and he didn't..."
"Akane Tendo!" Kunou exclaimed, sweeping her a deep bow. Ranma
looked half resigned and half angry at Kunou's predictable
behaviour; Twister just shook his head. "Truly, this day has
brought me unlooked-for pleasures! I had not thought to behold your
radiant countenance so soon!"
"Give it a rest, Kunou," she said impatiently. "I've heard it
all before."
"Ah, but it bears repeating! I shall trumpet your praises to
the heavens," Kunou declared. Striking an impressive pose, he
cleared his throat:

"Mine ear is much enamoured of thy note;
So is mine eye enthralled to thy shape..."

"Good God, it's a Shakespeare library on legs," Bert muttered
to himself. He suddenly found the business end of a wooden sword,
a bokken, under his nose. His eyes crossed as he tried to focus on
it.
"And who are you, insolent knave?" Kunou snarled imperiously.
"I would have your name before I run you through!"
"His name is Bert," Akane cut in, trying to defuse a suddenly
tense situation; Kunou ignored her.
"Know then, knave, that I am Tatewaki Kunou, the ...."
"The Blue Blunderer of Furinkan High," Bert finished flatly
for him. The pompous twit standing in front of him, threatening him
with a stick had finally ticked him off.. A part of his mind noted
that he was still out-of-sorts from being very far from home, and
that he really should back off and apologize, but he ignored it. At
the moment, the very ugly urge for a fight was prodding him
onwards, and his temper was snarling in the back of his mind,
driving that urge forwards with implacable intensity.
Ranma and Akane were staring at him like he'd gone insane,
wide-eyed, and Twister was only slightly less incredulous. He
grabbed Bert's arm, dragging him backwards a step. As he grabbed
the red-head's arm, something else flashed across Bert's face, and
for a second Twister had a flash of something... a... a feeling of
some kind; it wasn't quite prescience, but he'd had the very brief
impression that Bert had been about to lash out at him for an
instant.
"Are you bloody nuts?!" he hissed, brown-green eyes staring
into the similar colored, but defiant, ones of Bert. "You haven't
got your suit for one thing, and from what you said, that's your
main advantage in a fight! He'll kill you if he connects with that
sword; you're not as damage resistant as everyone else here is!"
"If he be too cowardly to accept my challenge," Kunou's voice
declared from behind them, "I will accept a sincere apology for his
boorishness." Oh no, Twister groaned, as he watched Bert's gaze
turn as hard as flint chips at Kunou's words; Kunou apparently
couldn't have found a worse word to use on Bert than `cowardly',
even if he'd searched for years. Spinning towards the black-haired
young man in the kendo outfit, Bert jerked his arm free of
Twister's grip, and stepped past Akane, coming almost nose-to-nose
with the irate swordsman. Kunou had to look up slightly to meet the
red-haired young man's fiery gaze.
"Okay, Mr. Pompous Ass," Bert replied tightly, clenching his
fists. "You're on; I accept your challenge."
"Excellent! Prepare to defend yourself!" Kunou leaped
backwards, his sword coming to the `en guarde' position. Bert
shifted his feet, hands open, and arms down slightly. Ranma sighed
and turned away, shaking his head; in his opinion, the fight was
already over. Akane stood watching, wide-eyed, and trying to decide
if she should step in. Twister was in a similar bind; he couldn't
use magic in his current form, and he didn't want to openly flash
his psionics in public; some passers-by were stopping to watch. He
could possibly slip Bert some unnoticed TK `assistance', but he
hadn't tried that too often.
Kunou leaped forward, the air in front of him becoming a blur
of flickering wooden sword blades. Bert ducked a few, but not all
of the strikes; several sharp cracks echoed along the sidewalk, and
a pained look flashed across his face briefly. Kunou retreated for
a moment, looking surprised that his foe was still standing. Bert's
gaze was now very angry, and the air around him suddenly seemed to
smolder.
Twister blinked, shaking his head. When he looked closer he
realized the air around Bert WAS shifting. He took a quick glance
at Ranma and Akane, but they hadn't seemed to notice anything
amiss. He looked back at the embattled young man, trying to figure
out what was going on.
*****
Somewhere across the city, a futuristic armour suit with
silver-and-blue armour plating stood quietly in the corner of a
room, as if on sentry duty. Kasumi finished dusting off the
now-gleaming suit, shaking her head at the strange things Twister
occasionally brought inside. She gathered up her cleaning stuff,
and left the room, missing completely the strange, faint purple
glow that began to outline the suit.
*****
CRACK!
Twister winced again as Kunou's sword slapped Bert's ribs. He
couldn't possibly see how the red-head could stand getting hit so
many times, and not have collapsed yet. He also hadn't figured out
just what was wrong with him; he was still seeing some kind of
disturbance around Bert. As Twister stared harder, it suddenly
seemed to him that he could discern purple flashes in the
disturbance. Purple... MAGIC flashes?! How in the...?!
Kunou leaped forwards again, sword blurring mercilessly
through the air, but this time he was in for a surprise.
Moving with a swiftness born out of pure, white-hot fury, his
red-haired opponent ducked inside the swing and clocked Kunou
square in the bottom of the jaw with an uppercut. Kunou's head
snapped back, and his attack faltered. Bert seized his wrist with
his left hand, and hoisted the kendo champ off of his feet by the
shirtfront with his other hand. With some kind of a spinning throw,
he jerked Kunou into the air and slam-dunked him into the mouth of
a nearby garbage can. Kunou lost his grip on his sword, and it
clattered to the pavement. Two long legs were all that could be
seen of the offended kendo practitioner, sticking ludicrously out
of the garbage bin.
"Screwball in the corner pocket," Bert declared, putting his
hands on his knees, gasping, with his head hanging. His face became
slightly more relaxed, the boiling rage that had been fuelling him
apparently gone. "I think that counts as a win." In Twister's
sight, the disturbance around the tall red-head vanished. Maybe
he'd been hallucinating. The only problem was that he didn't GET
that sick as a rule. He walked over to the doubled-over young man,
Akane following. Ranma was standing, staring slack-jawed and
speechless at Kunou, or what could be seen of him anyway.
"Hey, are you all right?" Akane asked worriedly. "Didn't those
hits hurt?"
"They do now," he assured her from between clenched teeth,
sweating. "They didn't at the time; adrenaline is a marvellous
thing." A pained smile flickered across his face.
"Very. Hold still," Twister sighed, reaching out and grasping
Bert's shoulder. "They shouldn't hurt for much longer." He closed
his eyes, concentrating on Healing his new friend. A moment later,
his eyes flew open in shock.
"It's not working!" he exclaimed. "I can't seem to get it to
affect you!!"
"Huh?!?" chorused Akane and Ranma.
"Then, perhaps could you get me to a doctor?" Bert asked, his
tone a little too calm, as he wrapped his arms over his much-abused
chest, wincing as he accidentally hit one of the many sore spots.
"Where's the nearest doctor, Twister?" Akane asked as she
worriedly looked at the occasionally gasping Bert.
Still very surprised over his inability to Heal Bert, Twister
muttered to himself. "Why would I not be able to..." He snapped out
of his musings. "Oh! Right! Doctor! Hm. The only one I know of is
Doctor Tofu. I passed by his clinic once so I guess I should
teleport us near there."
"Please do," Bert groaned out, not concerned about teleporting
at the moment as his body screaming its displeasure had captured
most of his immediate attention.
"Let's get to a place where I can take us without being seen."
Being the next tallest after Bert, Ranma and Twister supported Bert
as Akane scouted ahead for a suitable place to teleport.
"One positive note," Twister suddenly chuckled.
Bert looked over at him with pain-filled eyes. "_What_ could
be positive about this??"
"Oh, not your duel with Kunou. No, I was referring to the fact
that Akane hasn't punted Ranma across town yet. It's a miracle!"
"Hey!" Ranma glared at Twister, who gazed back with amusement.
Bert was shaking... with painful laughter. "Please...don't. My
ribs hurt too much now. Please. Not now."
"Did you hear the one...." Twister stopped with a grin when he
saw Bert glaring up at him with a look that promised dire
consequences if he continued.
"Just kidding," Twister grinned, shrugging in mock innocence.
*****
From his inverted vantage point, the once-again conscious
Kunou watched them walk away.
"We shall meet again, vile ally of Ranma Saotome. Did you
truly think I would miss the foul stench of your sorcery that
enabled you to defeat I, Tatewaki Kunou, he who was the Blue
Thunder of Furinkan High? The next time I see your evil face both
you and the vile captor of the pig-tailed one shall fall before me.
Ahhahahahahahahaha!!!!"
Suddenly, a group of students came by and, ignoring him
completely, filled the rest of the can with garbage, concealing
Kunou's face and most of his body.
*****
That evening had Twister and Bert sitting in the psionist's
apartment near the university. They were here because of Nabiki's
still rather frigid demeanor, and Twister felt it was safer here.
Despite his new friend's nervous protests, they teleported into the
living room area. Bert's upper torso was now wrapped in bandages
but he seemed rather cheerful after getting over his reaction to
the teleport, considering. He rotated a shoulder.
"That Dr. Tofu is something else. I felt like he was killing
me there for a second, but now I feel great! Aside from the ribs
that is."
"Be very, very thankful Kasumi didn't show up," Twister
advised. At Bert's inquiring glance, he shuddered a bit. "Trust me,
you don't want to know."
Dubious, Bert let it go. "Ooookay. What was that you tried to
do for me after the fight? Heal me, you said?"
Twister frowned. "Yes. I can Heal myself fairly easily for
broken bones or skin and doing it for someone else is much harder.
But," he emphasized the word, "I couldn't, for the life of me, Heal
you. My power just...couldn't affect you. I could see what was
wrong, but I couldn't do a thing about it."
Bert had a skeptical expression on his face. "How do you
explain being able to teleport me then?"
"I think I don't affect you, really, but just bending
space/time so that..."
"STOP!! I don't think I wanna hear it!!" Bert ordered, holding
up a hand, his face abruptly looking like he was holding back
panic. "Do you think this might present a problem in getting me
back?"
"I'd like to know how _this_ happened first, even though I
have this sinking feeling I do. Unless you know of anything else
psionic or magical that might account for this."
"Oh, sure, I deal with that kind of stuff every day....NOT!"
Bert took a deep breath and exhaled it. "Let me guess: that mighty
bolt-o-purple-power of yours that dragged me here?"
"I _did_ seem to see flashes of purple around you when you
fought Kunou," Twister admitted, reluctantly.
Bert was wide-eyed at that information. "Flashes...? What
_else_ do you think happened to me?!?"
Twister sighed. "Not a clue. It was Wild Magic that hit you.
Which, by definition..."
"Translation: You don't know," Bert interrupted.
"Correct."
"Swell," Bert sighed, rubbing a hand over his face tiredly.
"Marvellous, even."
"Come on," Twister retorted defensively. "You don't know
everything about hardsuits and boomers, do you?"
"No," Bert admitted. "Sylia's still the resident genius in
that department. I've got a boatload of innovative ideas that I use
for the suits, but any real scientific advances in some of the tech
areas belong strictly to her."
"Well then?"
"All right, I'm sorry. I'm just...I just feel disjointed, I
guess. Universe-hopping must have its own form of jet-lag." Silence
fell for a few moments. Bert leaned back on the couch, folding his
arms behind his head.
"Something I meant to ask you about," Twister said hesitantly.
At Bert's nod, he continued. "When Dr. Tofu was examining you, I
noticed you've got some pretty good scars there. How did you get
those?" The scars in question had been four diagonal lines across
his chest, slanting downwards from right to left.
"Ambush," Bert replied shortly, swallowing as a pained,
far-away look of remembrance flashed across his face. "My SkyKnight
escapades had attracted the attention of some rather unscrupulous
people with access to Doberman boomers. I got attacked before I
even knew what the hell was going on." His hand scrubbed at his
ribs in a vaguely-remembered gesture. "I only survived because the
rest of the Knight Sabers were able to show up and pull my bacon
out of the fire." He shook his head suddenly. "God, seems like
decades ago now. I still get nightmares occasionally about that
sort of stuff. Anyhow, it brought home a few realities about the
heroing business, and I've tried to be reasonably careful since
then."
"Could've fooled me," Twister noted. "Challenging Kunou wasn't
exactly what I'd call being careful."
"Occasionally I backslide a bit," Bert conceded blandly.
"Besides, I don't think it hurt Kunou any to learn a little
humility, or manners for that matter."
"He may have gotten the message," Twister grinned, "but I
wouldn't bet on it."
"I'll worry about that later, after my ribs have quit
complaining that is."
"I guess fighting Kunou wasn't all it cracked up to be, was
it?"
"Don't," Bert warned with a glare. "No jokes, please. I'd hate
to have to strangle someone who's trying to help me out." Twister
grinned, then looked at the clock.
"Well, I guess you can bunk on the couch tonight," he said.
"I'm a little low on energy to teleport us back to the dojo right
now so I'll phone Kasumi not to expect us. I can give you a tour of
the university tomorrow. It's the weekend so we have plenty of
time."
"Sounds okay," Bert replied. "I just hope nothing eventful
happens tomorrow; I've had enough excitement for now."
*****
Professor Miyabi Kitamura sat back in her desk chair,
frowning. She'd earlier sensed some kind of a magic flare nearby,
and had unsuccessfully tried to track down the source. It had been
highly unstable, and she wanted to find what the source was in the
eventuality that it presented a danger to the campus. At the same
time, the magic had seemed familiar somehow. Shrugging mentally,
she turned her attention back to trying to locate the source of the
erratic emissions again.
*****
"Hey! Who're you?" a surprised voice asked.
Bert stopped his preparations upon the couch and turned around
to look at a rather confused, black-haired young man with a short
hair cut who was staring at him.
"Oh, hi there. Well, uh, I...."
Twister stepped out of his room at the sound of the voice and
smiled apologetically. "Sorry, Yasuro, my friend here needs to use
the couch tonight and you weren't here so..."
Yasuro shrugged. "I don't mind."
Bert stepped up to the new arrival and stuck out a hand.
"Name's Bert, and you're Yasuro?"
The hand was accepted. "Yes. Nice to meet you." Yasuro's
expression was one of curiosity. "When did you meet Twister?"
"I..." Bert started.
"After he came to this universe," Twister interrupted. At
Bert's surprised glare, he shrugged. "He knows about me already and
it'll make things easier."
With new interest Yasuro looked at Bert. "So you're like
Twister?"
"NO!!!" Bert shouted, then grinned a little at the other's
slightly hurt expression. "Sorry there. I don't change into a cute
red-head and I don't do psionics or magic." Under his breath he
muttered, "Not yet, at least, the way things are going."
"No, he's just someone who usually flies around in high-tech
armour battling cyberdroids," Twister retorted.
"You did a variation of the same theme for a few years too,"
Bert shot back, "_and_ doing exactly the same thing _and_ brought
me here."
"Peace!" Yasuro held up a hand before the two could argue
further. Interested from the mentioning of the word `high-tech' he
looked at Twister. "You mentioned something about going to and
coming back from another universe last weekend, but you never said
it was a high-tech world and," he peered closely at Twister, "for
a few _years_? You haven't changed at all from what I can tell."
Bert blinked. "He hasn't?" Having just met Twister he wouldn't
have been able to tell, but it would explain how he had gotten away
with not having to tell anyone about the long trip he had made.
Bert himself was certainly feeling the effects of Father Time from
all his injuries, although they hadn't been bothering him quite as
much lately.
"You know I have a funny metabolism," Twister uncomfortably
said.
"But to not age, Twister??"
"I am aging. Just...very, very slowly."
"How slow?" Bert curiously asked.
Twister sighed. "About a day for a period of one to two
years."
Yasuro and Bert gaped. Stuttering, Bert got out, "That's
around a lifespan of forty thousand years!!"
"About right." Then, muttering below his breath, Twister said
quietly, "I wish."
"Considering all the universe hopping you seem to go through,
that almost seems reasonable," Yasuro commented. Bert just
continued to stare at the now-grinning Twister.
"With all the things I've FACED I'm surprised I've lived this
long." He shrugged. "Oh, well. You win some, you lose some."
Bert shook his head. "I suppose I really should have expected
this. Somehow." He looked at the calm Yasuro. "You seem pretty
blase about this."
"With all he's told me, that's the _least_ startling thing."
Yasuro started ticking off fingers. "An arch-demon of Hell, iron
golem of an angry magess, spirit dragon wanting to take over
everything..." He shrugged. "The longer lifespan is tame in
comparison."
Twister grinned at Bert's suddenly blank look. "Gee, Brain,
what do you wanna do tonight?"
Bert shook his head, appeared to try to figure something out,
shook his head again, and then flung his hands over his head in a
`I give up already' gesture, saying, "The same thing we do every
night, Pinky, try to get some sleep." So saying, he dropped onto
the couch and closed his eyes, trying to block out the world around
him.
"I don't think that's quite right, Bert," Twister grinned.
"Tonight, it is. Good _night_, Twister."
"Okay." Chuckling for some reason, Twister walked to his room,
saying, "Don't stay up too late, Yasuro. Good night."
Bert wondered what Twister had meant by that until the rapid
tapping of someone using a keyboard began echoing throughout the
room. Apparently, Yasuro used the computer in the room often and
late at night.
"When do you plan on quitting?" Bert mumbled.
"Oh, maybe three or four. I don't need much sleep."
It was midnight right now. Which meant three to four hours of
constant tapping. *Oh God!! Japanese keyboard torture!!* Bert
mentally wailed, but did his best to try to fall asleep.
"Try? There is no try. Only do; or do not," Yoda's voice
prodded him from the depths of his imagination. Bert sighed; the
Dark Side was winning at the moment.

THE NEXT DAY ....

"Good morning!" Twister grinned cheerily. A bleary-eyed,
smoldering glare from across the table was aimed at him.
"And just what is supposed to be good about it?" Bert growled.
"My ribs feel like they've been used as tackling targets, and I got
maybe four hours of sleep, tops, thanks to your Doom-crazed friend.
I managed to restrain myself from killing him, though." He poured
another cup of tea from the pot sitting in front of him, plopping
a generous spoonful of sugar and dollop of milk into it. He quickly
stirred it together, and proceeded to drain the mug at one draught.
He repeated the process a couple of more times as Twister
incredulously watched. Bert's mood began to visibly lighten and
smooth out as the booster shots of caffeine began to take effect.
"Um, yeah," Twister said, shaking his head at the pace with
which the tea was disappearing. "Bodies in the apartment are a
little hard to explain, Chiun. You like tea, don't you?"
"Coffee gives me heartburn," Bert replied obliquely, slowly
inhaling another mugful. "I usually need a gallon or so of tea in
the mornings to at least look civil."
"You sound like some of the people here at the university.
Some of them think caffeine is one of the essential nutrients for
a healthy life."
"I know what that's like; I was in university for five years,
and some of the habits, or addictions, you never lose." Silence
fell for a moment. Finally, Bert straightened up with a sigh. "So
what's on the tour itinerary for today, O wise and enlightened
one?"
"Breakfast first," Twister replied. His stomach suddenly and
loudly snarled in agreement. He grinned sheepishly, flushing. "A
large one."
"Lay on MacDuff," Bert grinned back. "Let's chow down before
we fall down."
*****
Yasuro was in Hito and Morio's room, mostly because Bert had
seemed to not enjoy being kept awake most of the night; the
restrained but murderous look the tall red-head had given him that
morning could have sizzled steel armour plating. Twister might be
able to handle it, but himself...
It was a good thing he had come over, though. After being
fairly inactive for the past month or so, his hentai friends now
seemed eager to make up for wasted time. All sorts of test tubes
belonging to Morio were set up around the room and Hito had created
several circuit diagrams, some remarkably complex, which were
located both on the floor and taped to the walls.
"You know," a bemused Yasuro observed, "if you guys put as
much effort into school as you do with your...hobby, you would both
have A+ averages."
From where he was writing chemical equations, Morio waved away
the comment. "No challenge. And the rewards aren't nearly as fun."
"Getting slapped by women?"
"That's failure," Morio corrected him.
Looking around, Yasuro noted the absence of his other friend.
"Where's Hito anyhow?"
Morio smiled. "He needed some parts so he went out to visit
his parent's company."
"Oh." Yasuro shook his head. "I still can't believe they don't
do anything about his hobby. Yours either," he said to Morio.
"Well, they ARE busy most of the time, and the fact that we
occasionally make something either chemically or in electronics
that's valuable enough that they can use it in their companies and
make money off of it could have something to do with it," Morio
noted with a grin.
"That could be it," Yasuro said with a resigned sigh.
*****
"This is a fairly nice place," Bert remarked as he and Twister
strolled across one of the playing fields near the Athletics
Complex. Twister nodded.
"Yeah, it's a good place," he agreed. "It's kinda quiet right
now, but during the week it really hums at times."
"Yeah? Major or Minor scale?" Bert asked interestedly. Twister
winced, and decided not to dignify the joke with a reply.
They walked along for a few more minutes, Twister occasionally
pointing out other things of interest. A small group of young men
suddenly appeared in the distance, heading towards them. Bert
hadn't really noticed, and Twister himself only gave them a cursory
look. It was when one of them shouted "Hey, there he is!!" and
started charging towards the pair of young men, being followed by
the rest of the pack, that Twister realized he did know them once
he got a better look: it was that Phys Ed group, evidently still
seeking to avenge the loss of the eating contest a while back.
They'd evidently recovered from their earlier defeat, and had
worked up the courage to try him again.
"Friends of yours?" Bert calmly asked, surveying the howling
mob.
"Distant acquaintances," Twister corrected him,
"unfortunately, not nearly distant enough to suit me."
"We're gonna get you!!!" the lead athlete howled. "You and
your friend!!"
"Hey wait a minute!!" Bert yelled, stepping back and pointing
at Twister. "Attack him, not me!! I'm innocent, whatever it was!!"
"Oh, thanks a lot...OOOOFF!" Twister's breath whooshed out as
one of the charging group tackled him, bowling him over, surprised.
Idiot, he briefly berated himself, keep your mind on your
opponents! He worked at prying himself loose and getting room to
manoeuvre for some martial arts as he watched Bert dodge around
some of the other young men trying to grab him.
"Now look here, guys," Bert panted, ducking sideways. "I'm new
here!! I don't know what your beef is, but I'm not involved!! Let's
just call it quits, okay? AAAARGH!!!" A large person with a
linebacker build suddenly slammed into the tall red-head, just as
Twister succeeded in belting his current opponent into the middle
of the next week.
Twister quickly ducked, back-flipped and swept the legs out
from under another boy as he watched a second wave of irate
athletes swarm over Bert. He tried to go to the assistance of his
friend, but was prevented by a couple more of the
athletically-inclined leaping at him. Twister helped one continue
on his journey, introducing him to the nearby fencepost, while
ducking the other one's wild karate-chop. As he prepared to give
the creep an express trip to the twilight zone, something flashed
at the edges of his sight, a purple something that began to get
brighter.
BOOOOOM!!!!!!
*****
Professor Miyabi jerked back from her desk, reeling in pain at
the thunderclap that had just assaulted her magical senses.
Scraping together her scattered wits, she began trying to
concentrate on teleporting herself to the general area where the
erratic magical emission she'd earlier detected had apparently
turned critical and blown up. She hoped that no one had been
nearby; in a blast of that scale, someone was bound to get hurt.
*****
Twister shook his head, trying to clear the dancing spots from
his eyes and the ringing from his ears. Around him on the field,
some of the Phys Ed team was laying unconscious from his attacks;
the rest were scattered widely outwards in a circular pattern from
where the explosive blast had come from. He still couldn't quite
see what was going on.
"They shouldn't have pissed me off," a deep, electronically
modulated voice stated from off to his left. Vision clearing,
Twister looked over to see a towering, silver-and-blue armour suit
standing, flexing its gauntleted hands. A burning red eyeslot
surveyed the prone and unmoving forms. Twister's jaw hit the ground
in disbelief, although dawning comprehension of what had just
happened began to flicker.
"Uh, Bert?" he queried cautiously. "Are you sure you're all
right?"
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" SkyKnight retorted, waving a hand
irritably. "I.....oh sheeee-it," he said, finally noticing his
armour-clad state as he stared first at his hands, and then down at
the rest of himself.. "What the hell is going on, for God's
sake?!?! How the hell did this get here?!? My hardsuit can't
teleport!! What...why..?" SkyKnight's voice trailed off in utter
confusion. Twister was about to reply, when an authoritative
woman's voice cut across the field of scattered bodies.
"All right, hold it right there!" Twister and SkyKnight swung
around to see an older woman come charging across the playing field
nearby, a very angry expression on her face.
"Hi, Professor!" Twister grinned weakly, trying unsuccessfully
to look innocent. "What brings you here?"
She was furious at seeing him. "Twister! What in all magic's
incantations are you doing?! Is _this_ yours?" Miyabi jabbed a
finger at SkyKnight.
"Well, in a way..."
"Hey!" shouted SkyKnight, still a little angry from the
attack. "I am NOT a thing!!"
His objection startled her. "Is it human?"
"I think many people are still trying to determine that,
Professor," Twister replied with a straight face, losing a brief
skirmish with his sense of humour yet again.
"HEY!!" the armoured battlesuit involuntarily let loose a
laser bolt near one of Twister's feet at the remark as its
gauntlets clenched into fists. It took a step towards Twister as
the debris from the resultant ground explosion bounced of an
invisible shield; the young psionist had been expecting a reaction
of some kind. "I object to that slander!!"
"I was just kidding, Bert," Twister tried soothing him. When
he didn't get a response, he curiously said, "Bert?" Still nothing.
Now he was getting concerned. "Hey, are you all right?"
"Twister," Miyabi ominously said, reminding him of her
presence. "I'm holding your ... acquaintance with a spell to keep
him from doing any more damage."
"That's not going to improve his temper."
"Too bad. He can wait. Now, I hope I do not have to repeat
myself a third time so ... _what_ is going on here?" She flicked
back her long, black hair and gazed narrowly at her student with
her dark green eyes.
Twister looked around at the now-groaning students.
"Uh...maybe we'd better do this somewhere less...conspicuous?"
Miyabi had to concede that point, and nodded. "Very well.
Teleport all three of us to the classroom. It will be empty there."
Sighing, Twister complied and they vanished without a sound.
*****
Wide-eyed, Hito watched them vanish. He had happened by when
the fight had started but had wisely kept out of sight, knowing his
fighting skill was next to nonexistent. Evading, yes. Fighting, no.
Anyhow, he knew Twister had beaten the group before and seemed
quite capable of doing it again from the looks of things. The tall
fellow wasn't familiar, but appeared to be with Twister.
Then the SUIT came.
Hito's eyes almost bugged from their sockets once he saw that
powerful exoskeleton. It was a thing of beauty to his engineering
eyes! True, he was mostly into electronics, but he had forayed into
mechanical systems with great success. But the SUIT was lightyears
ahead from anything Hito had ever seen.
He saw it had weapons, but nothing like he had ever seen
before save in sci-fi flicks. Energy weapons maybe? Miyabi's
arrival didn't even impinge on his awareness.
Until they all disappeared.
He almost leapt to where the SUIT had been but stopped
himself. Thinking clearly again, he realized Twister must have
teleported them away. Hito knew his friend had psi-powers but
didn't often see him use them. Did HE make the SUIT?
He sighed; he didn't know enough to make any guesses. But he
did know one thing; he would be watching for an opportunity to see
that SUIT again.
Right now he had to get back to Morio.
They had lots of hentai stuff to do yet.
*****
"You did _WHAT_?!?"
Bert winced at the volume Miyabi put into the last word of the
shout. His helmet was off and laying nearby on the floor where he
had awkwardly managed to sit down. It had taken Twister a few
minutes to convince Miyabi to release him and another few to calm
the furious Knight Saber-errant down. Now Twister was explaining
Bert's presence to his magic-teaching Professor.
Twister's face had an uncomfortable, pained expression on it.
"I had gone insane after becoming enraged in female form and taking
in an enormous amount of magical energy from the Event. Got rid of
it to become sane again, but somehow it homed in on SkyKnight and
brought him here."
"You...you..." Miyabi put her hands on her forehead in
frustration. "The sheer joy of having such a powerful magic-user as
one of _my_ students." She then placed her hands on the classroom
desk and looked at him in a way that made him want to plead
innocent. "What else, besides producing a magical disturbance
equivalent to a sonic boom when teleporting his armour to himself,
has he done?"
Twister shrugged. "The only other thing is that I can't seem
to affect him with my telekinesis...unless swallowing enough tea to
wake up Rip Van Winkle counts, which," seeing Bert's glare on him,
he concluded, "I guess doesn't."
"I very much doubt those will be the _only_ effects that
massive blast of wild magic will produce." Now she directed her
attention totally on Bert, who felt that there was some uncanny
resemblance in her manner to Sylia's. "Being as powerful as he is
when female, the amount of energy to drive him temporarily insane,
even unprepared," she cast a glare on Twister before turning back,
"is enormous. I'm not sure how much of it was expended in crossing
the Void and bringing you here, but I am fairly certain that it
would have affected both you _and_ that futuristic piece of armour
you now wear." She rubbed her forehead in memory. "That was
definitely proven when you called for your armour and it came."
"But I didn't call it," protested Bert.
"If you've worn it for a long time, then you likely desired it
unconsciously, especially when you were angry and being attacked."
While Bert pondered that, Twister nodded. "Yes, it almost
happened when you were fighting Kunou."
The hardsuited red-head looked up with a grin. "That certainly
would have surprised the pompous bastard," he chuckled, Twister
agreeing with a wide smile. Looking down at himself, Bert sighed.
"I guess I'd better get this off."
"I suggest leaving it at my house," Miyabi interjected. When
Bert and Twister looked at her in surprise, she explained.
"Studying the armour may give me an idea of whether or not the
effects are permanent and what other properties it may have. The
results of such an uncontrolled enchantment..." She shook her head.
"In any case, I _highly_ recommend you, Bert, staying near the
University when not in Twister's vicinity in case
something...unpleasant begins to manifest so I can help you, if I
can."
"You know, that makes me feel _so_ much better," Bert said
sarcastically and not without a little uneasiness.
"I'm sorry, Bert." Twister looked kind of low as he was
responsible for Bert's predicament in the first place.
Trying to cheer them both up, Bert shrugged. "Shit happens.
Besides, when I get back I'll certainly have a story to tell the
others. Whether or not they'll believe me is the question."
Something occurred to him then. "Hey, I wonder where my clothes
went?! I'm just wearing my softsuit under the hardware, and that
isn't exactly presentable dinner attire."
"They're probably back at the dojo; that's where your suit
was." Twister's eyes suddenly widened. "Uh, oh. There was quite an
explosion when it arrived, but when it left..."
"Oh, boy. You might be right."
Miyabi spoke up. "I suggest you two make sure everything is
all right before dropping off the armour at my house."
"Want a lift?" Twister inquired. The professor merely smiled
as a corkscrew of bright light suddenly swirled up from her feet,
enveloped her completely, and then vanished, along with the magic
teacher.
"That's even more disturbing than the psionic method,"
commented a wide-eyed Bert.
Twister grinned. "We'd better be certain though." He waited
until Bert's suddenly panic-filled eyes saw his grin before he
teleported them away to the dojo.
*****
They arrived at a scene reminiscent of `Gone with the Wind';
everything in the room that hadn't been tied down had been blown
around as if by a small tornado, all of it finally landing in a
heap in the far corner. It took Bert's mind off their disturbing
means of arrival.
"Oy vey," SkyKnight observed, looking around; he'd slapped his
helmet back on after arriving from force of habit. "It does look a
little messy now, doesn't it?"
"You can say that again," Twister agreed, staring at the mess.
"Okay. It does look a little messy now, doesn't it?" he
repeated, chuckling when Twister's elbow smacked into his armour
plating.
"Ow! Geez, that tin suit's hard!" he briefly complained,
rubbing his elbow.
"Wouldn't be much good if it was soft, now would it? Well, I
guess we'd better clean this up."
"Hold on; I've got a faster way," Twister instructed. He
frowned in concentration, and all the dislodged items like
strangely unbroken vases, towels, spare clothes and such lifted
into the air and floated over to their proper locations, settling
down without a bump.
"Neat trick," SkyKnight observed. With a sigh, he clanked over
to the pile of now folded clothes, and dug out a clean set, tucking
them under an arm.
"Got a duffle bag?" he inquired. Twister nodded, puzzled for
a moment.
"Sure, but what for?"
"Something to carry my clothes in while I fly back to that
professor's house."
"You don't have to do that," Twister said. "I can teleport it
there and...."
"Sorry, but not this time. I've got something I've got to
check out first on the suit, and doing it myself is the only way.
I'll come back here after dropping it off, and then we can decide
just what to do next."
"Okay," Twister conceded reluctantly. "You sure you know how
to get back here?"
"Trust me," SkyKnight assured him. "I know what I'm doing." A
few minutes later, they stood in the backyard of the Tendo house.
Incredibly enough, no one was around or seemed to have noticed the
disturbance in the bedroom from earlier. Probably because the
household was almost always going nuts, Bert figured sardonically,
slinging the nylon rucksack securely over an armoured shoulder. He
looked over at the young brown-haired man standing next to him.
Twister looked vaguely unhappy about something, but wasn't saying
much.
"I guess I'll see you later," he said. With that, flight wings
snapped out into extension on his suit's shoulders, and SkyKnight
shot airborne with a screaming roar of jet turbines. Twister
watched the silver-clad figure vanish into the blue sky overhead.
*****
"I am not going to panic. I am not going to panic," SkyKnight
snarled to himself over and over again as he hurtled through the
air on defiantly howling jet turbines. He felt like he was just
barely keeping from dropping off of the thin edge of what he
considered his sanity at the moment. The initial disorientation of
being transported to another dimension had been bad, but that was
nothing compared to what he'd been through lately. For someone who
put complete faith in science and logic, having to suddenly
confront magic, something he'd never really put much stock into and
not quantifiable by scientific thinking, was bordering on
terrifying. That he'd somehow been altered by the aforementioned
magic was not helping to ease his mind any. He felt completely
powerless, vulnerable to anything and everything, and he didn't
like it.
What was worse was that the stress was eroding his
self-control on the rest of his actions. Several times he'd had to
throttle down the reflex retaliation that had plagued him almost
constantly a few weeks ago. He hoped Twister hadn't noticed, but
he'd very nearly struck out with lethal force when he'd been
swarmed. It was a miracle that he hadn't injured someone when his
suit had arrived.
For several minutes, the silver-and-blue garbed hardsuit
zipped across the skyline of the city, trying to lose himself in
his usual high-speed flying thrills, but it didn't work as well as
it had in the past. He stifled the sulphurous swear words that came
to mind, and began tracking through the skies towards the sprawling
university campus, following the directions Twister had given him.
*****
Professor Miyabi almost fell out of her chair in shock as
SkyKnight rocketed through the open bay window of her study,
slamming to an abrupt halt in mid-air and dropping heavily to the
floor in front of her desk with a blast from snarling jet
thrusters, all in perfectly timed precision. She recovered her
composure, and her suddenly scattered paperwork, giving the
armour-clad young man a withering glare. She couldn't tell whether
or not he'd been affected by it because his helmet visor was down.
"I don't suppose you've heard of using the front door?" she
asked acidly.
"I have," his electronically modulated voice replied, "but
that's also just a little too conspicuous, especially given my
current state of dress."
"Oh, I see," she returned sarcastically. "And blasting through
someone's front window isn't?!"
"I was moving too fast for visual ID," he replied calmly.
"Trust me. Now where did you want me to put my suit?"
"In the next room, over by the lamp." She sat back, green eyes
suddenly thoughtful, and curious. "What will you be doing during
the week?"
"I haven't got the faintest idea," SkyKnight replied,
shrugging. "Alternating between frustration and boredom probably."
"Hmmm. I have a partial solution to the boredom problem. In
order for me to fully ascertain what has happened to you, I'll need
to have you present for some of the testing of your suit. I can get
word to you which days I'll be testing it, and then you can drop
by."
"Joy," SkyKnight replied in a flat tone. Miyabi frowned.
"You don't sound overly happy," she observed.
"If it gets me home, then I'm happy. Excuse me for a moment."
Miyabi watched the silver suit disappear into the next room. Some
metallic clacks and pneumatic hisses sounded, then a few minutes of
silence. After a few more minutes a long-faced, red-haired young
man re-appeared, and she regarded him thoughtfully. He was taller
than Twister, a little heavier across the shoulders, and had
similar coloured eyes. There was an air of barely-concealed nervous
agitation and tension about him. She stood up as he came back into
her study, sighing and looking over at him.
"Okay," she said. "I'll transport you back to...."
"NO!!" he almost shouted, a sudden, absolutely panic-stricken
look flashing across his face. "I'll walk!! It's not a problem!!"
With that, he dove past her, down the stairs, and out the front
door. She caught a glimpse of him running hard up the street as she
heard the front door bang closed.
"Now what was that all about?!" she wondered aloud. "Was it
something I said?!"

Part Two - Sky's the Limit!
---------------------------

Twister absently looked around the room where SkyKnight's
armour once stood to make sure he had put everything back the way
it should be. Still, Bert's dilemma bothered him. It didn't seem
like the person from another universe of Knight Sabers was handling
the concept of magic and teleportation very well.
"Why should it?" he sighed out loud. "Both, in a way, dragged
him away from home and friends and affected him in ways unknown.
Not as severe as my own changes, but still..."
"Talking to yourself, Twister?"
Whirling around, Twister saw Nabiki standing in the doorway of
the room and seemingly calm as well.
"As long as I don't answer myself I should be okay." Not yet
willing to talk about his `little' trip in detail to her, Twister
tried to change the subject. "Where is everyone? The house was
empty."
"Kasumi and Akane went shopping together since Akane wants to
cook tonight. The rest...well, you know what their reaction would
be after Akane told them she would be cooking," she said with a
half-smirk.
"Run for the hills!" Twister jokingly said.
"Right. And if you think trying to get me to think of
something else other than your little `jaunt' will work you are
sorely mistaken." Seeing Twister's face fall a little, her humour
vanished as she walked up to him and stared up into his face with
a mixture of anger and disappointment. Nabiki rarely let her
emotions show often so it was a measure of how much he had
distressed her that she now did so. "_Why_ didn't you tell me?!"
Twister looked away from her face. "I just got back last
weekend, Nabiki! Finally getting back was mixed with half relief
and half...sadness. I'd gotten to know a few good friends there,
but I missed being here and...you." That last brought a smile from
Nabiki that lifted Twister's heart. "There were a few
complications..." He stopped when Nabiki dragged his unresisting
head down for a long kiss.
Disengaging, they looked at each other for a while before
Nabiki nodded with a mischievous smile. "Seeing as you're not hurt,
I'll forgive you..."
"My Lady is gracious."
"...and you can also tell me about all that advanced
technology you and that Bert guy told us about."
"My Lady is greedy."
"Comes with the package," she said with a smirk.
"I wouldn't change you a bit."
"Who said you had a choice?"
Twister gave up; he was losing the battle to Nabiki's superior
comebacks. Instead, he just smiled down at her while she waited for
his next remark. She started melting as his calm, smiling,
brown-green eyes looked into her own. They reflected a more
experienced soul to Nabiki as she gazed into them, definitely a
positive result of his trip. She shook her head; this was making it
too easy for him.
She stepped back out of his arms. "Oh no, buster. You don't
win that easily."
Twister grinned. "It was worth a try."
A little more bold too, Nabiki thought. A definite
improvement.
A shouting from downstairs surprised them. "Hey! Where is
everyone?! Is this because _I'm_ cooking lunch?!? Raaaanma! You
better be here!"
"Now, Akane, I'm sure they just stepped out for some fresh
air," Kasumi's ever-innocent voice said.
Nabiki rolled her eyes while Twister grinned at her
expression. "Sometimes, Akane..." she said with some exasperation.
He wagged a finger in front of her. "Practice makes perfect."
"Yes, but a perfect what?" Nabiki shrugged. "Oh, well. I guess
we should...attempt to try whatever it is she makes. IF it looks
edible, that is."
At least it'll take my mind off Bert's problem, for a little
while, Twister thought before waving Nabiki forward. "After you,"
he chuckled, bowing with a flourish.
Nabiki's look was somewhat sour as they left the room.
"Somehow, I fail to see the chivalry now..."
*****
Akane anxiously looked on at the dinner table where Nabiki and
Twister sat. Why weren't they eating? They just stared at what she
had made.
"Is... is there something wrong?" she nervously asked. She'd
worked so HARD on it and had insisted that she do it all by
herself.
Nabiki just continued to stare as Twister cleared his throat
and calmly began addressing the worried, would-be chef.
"Akane, there are many ingredients one can use to make up a
dish. Some are hot, some tangy, some to add color." He paused, then
shook his head in disbelief. "But _how_ in the _world_ did you get
_this_," he waved at what lay before him, "to _glow_?!?!"
Indeed it was. The dish sprouted recognizable bits of fish,
rice, and noodles. Those were the parts he knew. The rest... were
strange bits of what may have been part of a food group at one
point in time. It was all contained as one mass by some unknown
green substance that had caused he and Nabiki to stare, for it
pulsed an evil-looking, sickly-green light from within. This was
_not_ normal behaviour for lunch. Maybe at a nuclear waste plant,
but not here.
"You didn't happen to find some glowing green rock in a crater
outside and decided it might taste good, did you?" he inquired, not
really conscious of what he was saying as he stared at the blob.
***WHAM!!***
"I expect that of Ranma, not you!!" an angry Akane said,
lifting her Ranma-smashing-mallet off of Twister's head, he seemed
a little dazed from the blow.
"Owwwww....."
Nabiki stood up and crossed her arms, looking up at Akane.
"Can you tell me your source at the nuclear power plant? There's
money in radioactive substances."
"Not you too, oneesan!" Akane's angry face looked ready to
burst into tears. "I worked so _hard_ on it too. What are you
doing??" Akane demanded, seeing Twister poking at the glowing green
disaster.
"What _did_ you use, Akane?" He didn't feel like joking around
now, not when he had this sneaking suspicion...
Nabiki caught his strange expression. "What's up?"
Twister stood up, dubiously looking at the table's contents.
"I won't know until Akane shows me what she used and I examine the
kitchen. This might and might not be Akane's fault. You might be
used to Akane's strange dishes..." Seeing Nabiki's grimace, he
amended, "Well, seeing them that is, but this kinda stretches my
belief." He waved Akane into the kitchen. "Now, what did you use
again?"
Not knowing what was going on, Akane, with noticeable
confusion, complied.
"Well, I started with the flour..."
*****
Akane was even more confused now.
"I put everything that I used on the countertop, Twister. Now
can you please tell me what...?" he silenced her with a raised hand
as he carefully examined each item.
The countertop was littered with dozens of ingredients and
cooking utensils, leaving no room left for anything else. Nabiki
and Kasumi curiously looked on, wondering what Twister was up to.
Finally he straightened, nodded to himself, and went over to the
kitchen sink to fill a glass of water.
"What are you..." Akane stopped as she saw Twister pour the
cool water over his own head. "_Why_ did you do that for?" She was
rapidly losing her patience with his behaviour.
"Testing two theories in one shot," Darlene explained
mysteriously, making Akane even more frustrated and piquing
Nabiki's curiosity further.
Nabiki was quick to figure out what the now red-headed
magic-user had planned. "You think one of these things is magical?"
Akane's eyes widened at that; maybe it wasn't her fault after all
that her dish had failed!
"That's one theory," Darlene agreed. Before a puzzled Nabiki
could inquire as to the second theory, she began the spell.

"Magic, magic, where do you lie?
Invisible to the untrained eye,
I seek you now, don't pass me by,
Brightly glow, to make me sigh."

Everyone in the room breathlessly waited for something to
happen.
Nothing.
Nabiki tilted her head in puzzlement, then said, "Either your
spell's a bust or this stuff isn't magical."
Smirking, Darlene turned to her. "It's the second. And that's
because the other theory is the winner." She pointed beyond the
kitchen door and the three sisters followed the direction where
they could now see a purple glow.
Surrounding the dish Akane had made.
"Waitaminute!" Nabiki blurted in obvious confusion as Akane
stared, incomprehension plain on her face, at what she had made.
"If none of the things Akane used was magical, but that green thing
she made _is_, then...then..." Her eyes widened as she came to the
same conclusion Darlene had made a few minutes ago.
"Yup," Darlene nodded as Akane whirled to face her, a little
crazy-eyed. "Then Akane is a cooking magic-user like I'm a rhyming
one."
Akane stared at the smiling Darlene. She stuttered out,
"But... I... That's..." Her eyes rolled up and she fainted.
"She took the news well," Nabiki noted dryly, helping Darlene
catch her younger sister before she could collapse onto the kitchen
floor.
"I guess she wasn't expecting something like that," Darlene
said as they carried Akane out to the dining room, propping her up
in a chair. "I certainly wasn't, at first. We're going to have to
look into this a bit further later on; I've never heard of anything
like this before." The red-haired girl looked down thoughtfully at
the comatose Akane. "We'd better take it slow for a while first,
and not rush her. Maybe Professor Miyabi can help figure this out."
Darlene grinned suddenly. "She's going to hate seeing me. First
SkyKnight, and now this!"
As if uttering the name of his alter-ego had been a spell,
Bert lurched through the door to the room. He was walking stiffly,
with a very deliberate and careful step. His hair was absolutely
plastered to his brow with sweat, and his sweater was also damp
with perspiration. His breathing was laboured to say the least and
his gaze was very firmly fixed dead ahead. He walked blindly past
a wide-eyed Darlene and the puzzled Nabiki into the kitchen. They
heard the taps run briefly, then the sounds of someone gulping back
a glass of water. The sounds repeated a few more times as Darlene
and Nabiki swapped a puzzled glance.
"What's with him?" Nabiki asked. "He looked like he was on
autopilot, or something."
"I'm not sure," Darlene said slowly. "But I've got an
idea...." She cut off as Bert came back into the dining room,
looking a little more normal. He finally noticed the scene in the
dining room and his expression became slightly concerned.
"Hey, what happened to Akane?!" he queried. "Is she sick?"
"No," Darlene cut in before Nabiki could reply. "She just got
some shocking news, and she didn't handle it too well. I can tell
you later what it was. What happened to you? You looked like you'd
just staggered in from the desert, or something."
"You alternately run and walk the ten miles from the
university to here and we'll see just how good your condition is
afterwards." Darlene and Nabiki gaped incredulously at him.
"You walked?!" Darlene asked disbelievingly. "Couldn't Miyabi
teleport you back here instead?" It was the wrong thing to say;
Bert's expression froze instantly, like he'd been dipped in liquid
nitrogen.
"She offered to, but I refused," he replied shortly. "I needed
the exercise anyway."
"You could have taken the bus, instead," Nabiki pointed out.
"Like I said I needed......the.......exercise...." Bert's
voice trailed off as he finally noticed the glowing plate of food
sitting on the dinner table. He turned green himself, almost the
colour of Akane's magical preparation. "Excuse me," he said weakly.
"I think I need to lie down." He walked jerkily past them,
vanishing up the stairs.
"Oh great," Darlene groaned, covering her eyes with a hand.
"Just great."
"Hmm..." Nabiki considered this new development. "Twister, you
better go help your new friend. We'll stay with Akane and talk to
her when she wakes up." The so-far silent Kasumi nodded, supporting
her sister.
"Think you can calm her down?" When Nabiki nodded, Darlene
grinned. "Teamwork, gotta love it." After giving her a peck on the
cheek, startling the brown-haired middle sister, Darlene rushed
over to the stairs and bounded up them in a flash.
Nabiki placed a hand on the cheek as she watched her
`boyfriend' go. The red-head seemed more high-spirited than she
recalled. What else is there that happened to him? she wondered.
*****
Sprawled across the bed, Bert miserably stared up at the
ceiling in the room Kasumi had prepared for him. Apparently, it had
been Twister's before he had moved to the university area along
with Nabiki. Something else was on his mind at the moment,
however...
Magic, magic, magic, magic! Everywhere I turn there's
something magical staring me in the face, he mentally snarled. Even
his armour had become a part of this craziness. Talk about adding
insult to injury!
There was a knock on the door; Bert just wanted to ignore
everything at the moment and didn't reply. Maybe whoever it was
would think he was asleep; he was certainly tired enough for it.
Then there was a second, more insistent knocking and he sighed
disgustedly; they weren't giving up, whoever it was.
"Come in," he called out reluctantly, sitting up.
The door opened and a bright-eyed Darlene stepped in. "Hi! How
are you?"
"Oh, everything's just perfect. Fine. Lovely," he
sarcastically said.
"Not," she countered, losing the bounce in her step, correctly
interpreting his mood. Closing the door behind her, Darlene walked
over to the opposite side of the room and leaned on the wall to
face him. "How did leaving your suit at Miyabi's go?"
Bert chuckled, his foul mood briefly lightening. "She took it
fairly well, considering I flew in through her roof opening at a
pretty high speed."
Darlene gasped. "You didn't!"
"I'm an expert on flying my suit, don't worry." Seeing her
dubious look, he added, "Trust me." The cute red-haired girl shook
her head.
"She should be more pleased when I bring Akane as a potential
student. I hope," Darlene sighed, then frowned as she saw Bert
stiffen. "Coming back to the reason I came up here in the first
place; what's up with you? You ran rather than saving a lot of time
and teleporting here. THEN you blanched when you saw
Akane's...er...creation. I can understand you being a little afraid
of mag..."
"A little afraid?!" Bert mildly said, interrupting her. His
voice began to rise, sounding like he was on the thin edge of
blowing up. "A _LITTLE_ afraid?!?! Something that defies all logic,
drags me across dimensions like a goddamn leaf in a hurricane, has
somehow affected my suit, and mostly likely _me_ as well, in ways
unknown and you think I'm a _LITTLE_ afraid of it?!?! It warps
sane, logical reality into bloody pretzels where ever I go! Of
_course_ I'm afraid of it! It's totally irrational! It's...It's..."
Bert gave up talking as he was starting to ramble incoherently and
panted for breath.
Darlene was completely still, looking very calm, and said,
"Get over it." in a slightly tight voice. Her blue eyes seemed to
suddenly glitter icily.
He glared back at her. "_You_ get over it."
"I have...mostly," she said, still apparently calm, and Bert
blinked. "Haven't you wondered how _I_ got this way?" She lazily
waved a hand at herself. "You've never asked."
Bert blinked again, and looked over her, admittedly
attractive, body. "I thought you'd somehow got dumped into the same
pond Ranma had."
"But the exact same body? And the psionics? And the magic?"
Darlene prompted.
Bert nodded slowly. "Well, that _has_ gotten me wonder..."
"BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE EITHER!!" Darlene screamed at
him, shocking Bert backwards as she quickly stepped over to the
bed, standing over him and clenching her fists. It almost looked
like her eyes were glowing, which Bert nervously realized they
might actually be doing. In a marginally quieter voice, she
furiously went on, "_You're_ not the only one who was dragged from
their home by a miscast spell! In _fact_, my chances of _surviving_
that which changed me and gave me first my psionic and then magical
powers were probably _orders_ of magnitude _less_ than yours! You
_probably_ weren't in any danger at all since _I_ was the one that
channelled the power and likely affected it some ways!" She was
literally shaking with rage as Bert frantically looked around for
an avenue of escape in case Darlene did something he wouldn't want
to stay around for.
She went on. "And illogical?! Hah! Do you think psionics is
logical? Do you?!?" Darlene demanded of Bert, fury still her voice.
"Ah, um, err, well..." he stammered. Darlene narrowed her eyes
and he scrambled frantically to answer her. "Yes! Yes, it is! It at
least obeys the laws of physics from what I understand."
"Well, I've got news for _you_, bucko! At some point magic and
psionics can merge! I've done it _myself_ once! Just because it may
_seem_ chaotic doesn't mean it _has_ to be. Sure it can be
irrational! Like," Darlene faltered, "when I went...insane
and...almost hurt a...lot of people because," she lifted trembling
hands in front of her face, "I got angry...when female..." Her face
crumpled, anger vanished like the wind. Darlene sank down to her
knees and started sobbing.
Bert stared for a moment, taken by surprise by the radical
change in Darlene's mood. He started to move forwards hesitantly,
instinct prompting him to comfort the sobbing girl somehow. He
froze solid a moment later, remembering that she wasn't really a
girl all the time. How was he... she going to react to a stranger
suddenly putting his arm around him...her?! What the hell was he
supposed to do now?!
As he stood there, floundering in a mental quandary, the door
flew open, and Nabiki stood in the doorway. Her brown eyes flared
in anger as she gazed at the crying girl on the floor, and the
red-haired young man with a confused expression standing awkwardly
nearby. She immediately hit the wrong conclusion.
"What did you do to her?!" she snapped, quickly going over to
Darlene, kneeling, and wrapping her up in a hug. Darlene sobbed
uncontrollably onto her shoulder as she glared up at Bert. "Get
out," she told him glacially. "I don't want to hear whatever the
excuse is; she was trying to help you, and this is the thanks she
gets?! Get out before I really get mad at you."
"But I didn't...." Bert's voice trailed off as Nabiki's
furious glare lanced into him. A trace of confusion and hurt
flickered across his face, quickly becoming walled-off as his face
settled into a stony mask. "Fine," he replied flatly. "I'm leaving.
Don't worry; I won't darken your doorstep again." Nabiki didn't
watch him leave, being too pre-occupied with trying to soothe the
still-crying Darlene.
*****
Bert stalked down the front steps of the dojo, ignoring
Kasumi's startled inquiry as to where he was going at suppertime,
and stormed down the front walkway, out into the street. Fuming, he
started striding like a runaway thunderstorm down the sidewalk.
He had to go somewhere, anywhere, just as long as it was away
from the dojo. Some of the pedestrians who saw the grim-faced young
man coming immediately crossed the street, getting out of his way;
there was an almost visible cloud of anger and frustration hanging
over his head.
Well, he asked himself, now what, genius? You've managed to
alienate most of the people who were trying to help you.
Congratulations! Keep it up, and maybe they'll kill you before you
get homesick. It was the thought of home more than anything else
that cleared his mind somewhat, allowing him to examine himself and
the causes for his vile mood.
Partly, it was indeed homesickness; he was missing everyone,
Nene especially, with an intensity that was almost palpable. He
didn't really know a soul here, with the possible exception of
Twister, and he felt isolated and alone; he didn't fit in here,
even slightly. It was made worse by the fact that, for the moment
at least, it didn't appear that he was going to be going home
anytime soon. As a result, he'd lashed out at anyone trying to get
through his emotional barriers.
A portion of his disquiet was because he still wasn't fully
recovered mentally, at least, not enough to be able to handle the
strangeness he was all too often confronting now.
The last factor contributing to his upset state was, being
brutally honest about it, fear. He'd been uprooted by something
that defied all logical explanation: magic. Every time he thought
about it, he wanted to run screaming away from the idea. Because of
his unease, he supposed he'd been unconsciously blaming Twister for
his current problems. It wasn't entirely fair, but he hadn't been
in a frame of mind suited for fairness.
Twister's....no, Darlene's outburst had brought to light a
couple of points that he hadn't been aware of before. Namely that
she hadn't had a choice either about what had happened to her...
him... whomever!!! At any rate, she'd mostly accepted what had been
done to her, although he wasn't really sure why she'd suddenly
collapsed, crying. If he got the chance, he'd have to find out what
that was all about.
Like it or not, however, he was going to have to just grit his
teeth and bear with the current situation; whining and carrying on
about how much life sucked and was being unfair to him wasn't about
to solve his problems. Bert sighed again, straightening up and
squaring his shoulders, feeling a little better that he'd managed
to clear his mind somewhat. Now the question was: what did he do in
the meantime?
The first thing he was going to have to do was try and get at
least a basic understanding of magic, even though his mind wanted
to shut down at the concept. If he could figure out how it worked,
then maybe he might be able to help find a way to solve his
predicament. All right, he told himself as he walked along, start
from first principles.
Now then, magic appeared to be SOME form of energy. Energy
behaved according to certain rules, or should, at least. Somehow,
magical energy was manipulated by the spellcaster to produce the
desired effects. Now how was it shaped? Spells, of course.
Spells were rhymes, at least it was in Darlene's case, that
focused the caster's will, meaning that the caster had to have the
correct mental image firmly in place in order to produce the
desired effect. It was the combination of the structure of the
poetry, such as rhyme and meter and so forth, that forced the mind
into the proper state to be able to channel magic.
That being the case, it followed that magical energy was
directed by thought patterns. Thought patterns in the brain were
electromagnetic in nature, although perhaps electrochemical might
be a better term. At any rate, since different people had different
mindsets, and, apparently, different magical aptitudes, it made
sense that the magical energy was controlled by their thought
patterns. Ergo, magical energy might be able to be manipulated by
electromagnetic forces.
Bert grinned to himself suddenly, feeling better for having
come up with at least a partial theory on what magic was. There was
still a large unknown operating in his equation, but at least he
had a basis to start from. All he had to do was conduct a few
experiments somehow. Well, since Prof. Miyabi had said that some
testing of his suit was necessary, he supposed he could start
there. She could conduct her tests and HE could use his suit
sensors to conduct a few of his own at the same time. That wasn't
going to happen until tomorrow at the very earliest, though.
He slowed his pace, thoughtfully gazing around at the small
park he'd wandered into: it appeared to be deserted. He sighed
suddenly, and slumped into a nearby bench. Might as well get
comfortable, he told himself, you're going to be here for a while.
He sat there, mind wandering aimlessly, as darkness began to
fall.
*****
"Feeling better?" Nabiki asked, handing another Kleenex to
Darlene. The red-haired, blue-eyed girl nodded wordlessly, taking
the proffered tissue and blowing her nose. She added the sodden wad
to the steadily growing pile in the wastebasket.
"A lot better now, thanks," she sniffled. "You're a great
comfort," she added, a faint smile appearing. Nabiki smiled back,
relieved that the crying storm was over, and hoping some kind of
explanation was forthcoming. Darlene's next question wiped the
smile off her face again.
"Where'd Bert go?" Darlene asked. Nabiki's expression turned
stony.
"I don't know, and I don't really care," she replied coldly.
"If all he can do is say things that are going to upset you that
badly, then I don't think we need him around." Darlene became
wide-eyed and worried at the same time.
"Oh no!! What did you say to him?! It wasn't his fault! Well,
maybe in part, then again maybe not, but still..."
"Stop!" Nabiki shouted. Startled, Darlene stopped her
babbling, mouth still open. "Was it, or was it not his fault?" she
asked.
Darlene slowly shook her head. "No, it wasn't."
"Oh, boy," Nabiki sighed. "I practically tossed him out after
I saw you." When a panicky Darlene tried passing by her to try to
catch Bert, Nabiki grabbed an arm in a firm grip and whirled
Darlene around to face her. "If it's not _his_ fault, then _why_
were you crying like you had lost your dearest friend in the
world?? I've _never_ seen you act this emotionally before," a stray
recollection came to her mind, "and you were perfectly fine when
you were your old self..." She frowned at the red-head, who looked
away. "It's something to do with your female half, isn't it? Why
you, when Ranma isn't..." Nabiki turned Darlene's head around with
her, surprisingly gentle, hand. There was a slightly concerned
expression on her face. "Come on, Twister, please answer me."
Darlene looked down at the floor, a little ashamed that she
had worried Nabiki. "I think it might be a combination of the
change...and the Event. Makes me more emotional when female. It
slowly crept up on me before I realized what was happening.
I...also went a little berserk in the universe that I was in and
perhaps very, very lucky that I didn't hurt anyone...badly when my
rage exploded. I...," Darlene looked on the point of tears again,
"somehow tapped into the Event when it happened and went
temporarily insane...until I got rid of it all, creating the bolt
of magical energy that brought Bert here. He was just complaining,
justifiably, about magic and his troubles, which got me angry till
I remembered about...the incident. The memory hit me harder that I
expected."
Nabiki stared at the red-headed girl who was also the man she
loved before shaking her head. "You never have it easy, do you?"
Darlene sighed. "I guess not. Speaking of which, how's Akane
doing?"
"Once she got used to the idea, pretty well actually.
Cheerful, in fact," Nabiki replied, grinning slightly.
Darlene blinked. "How so?"
"She feels that this will give her something to compete with
Ranma's other `fiancees'. Akane's always felt that she had nothing
to offer Ranma personally, now she has."
"Not unless she can cook something else other than Superman's
funeral cake." Darlene grimaced. "You'd better tell her to keep
quiet about it until she can. I have to find Bert." She hesitated,
glancing at Nabiki.
It was seen. "I'll apologize if that is what's bothering you."
"It's not that..."
"What then?"
"I...um...mentioned that I had picked the name Darlene
Stefenson during my...ah...confession for my female form." Darlene
shyly said.
"So? You said you were amnesiac when you picked it," Nabiki
curiously said. "Oh...you prefer it now? I guess it's better than
Itazuka."
"Yes...but there was a reason I picked that one even so. My
_name_ is Darren Steffler, Nabiki," she finished in a rush.
Blankly looking down at the expectant Darlene for a second,
Nabiki slowly began to smile. "And...am I the first you've told
your real name to after your change?"
Darlene simply said "Yes." with a smile.
Nabiki's smile grew very happy, but with a hint of a grin.
"Seeing your current status, I'll kiss you later. But for now..."
She hugged Darlene tightly, and said, "I love you."
"And I love you too," Darlene softly replied, deciding that
the feelings of warm comfort and being sheltered she felt while
being hugged by the currently taller Nabiki could be accepted
without confusion for the moment.
She could certainly reverse positions easily enough.
Then her eyes widened as she remembered something. Or rather
some_one_.
*Oh, no! I still have to find Bert!*
*****
Bert started awake; he had dozed off but something had
awakened him. It was still a little light out, but the park lights
had come on already. He wondered why he was on the park bench
before he remembered Nabiki's icy departure notice and mentally
groaned. Then something else caught his attention. He thought he
was alone in the park, but he could swear he could hear...faint,
but definitely insane...laughter?!
What the hell?!
*****
Kodachi tried to stifle her laughter; stealth was essential to
her plan, but merely thinking about her latest plan to bring her
darling Ranma into her loving arms increased her joy.
Soon, my darling! Soon we will be together forever!
Carefully, Kodachi patted down the earth where she had
transplanted the plants she had grown from seeds from their
birthing pots. She had selected an unused section of the park to
plant her little pets as she did not want unwanted bodies littering
up her trap.
The man I bought those wonderful seeds from told me that this
is the highest the plants will grow, but that they will more than
make up for it with their magic! He didn't specify how, but one set
of plants will ensnare anyone within range and the other will put
the victim into a hypnotic trance. Anyone save the one who grew
them.
Hohohohohohohoho, she mentally laughed. I will bring all those
hussies that are after my dear Ranma here and then they will be at
my mercy! And if my love doesn't see the wisdom of my actions,
well, maybe I will bring him here too...
"Hey, who are you and what the _hell_ are you doing??" a voice
rudely demanded behind her.
Startled, Kodachi stood and turned around to see a strange,
tall, red-headed young man. She stood rooted to the spot in shock
for a moment, speechless.
"Well?" the young man asked again. "Who are you, lady? Do you
usually sneak around public parks at night, cackling like brooding
chickens?" He cast a greenish-brown-eyed gaze at the
strange-looking plants. "And I don't think that the Public Works
department, assuming there is one here, will appreciate your
planting thistles, or whatever the hell they are, in the parks,
either."
"Who...who are you?!" Kodachi finally found her voice. She
hadn't noticed anyone in the park earlier. In her glee at having a
foolproof plan to get Ranma, she'd evidently missed seeing him
around. Drat the luck! Her mind raced as she tried to think of a
way out of her current dilemma.
"My name's Bert. Now who are YOU?" he replied impatiently.
"I'd kinda like to know who is nutty enough to sneak around
planting noxious weeds for the hell of it."
Kodachi managed to throttle down her anger at his unflattering
description of her lovingly tended beauties.
"My name is Kodachi," she replied, trying to appear charming,
primping her hair a bit. "I'm not harming anyone, really, and
they're not weeds. They blossom into beautiful flowers whenever
someone approaches them. Why don't you look closer, and see for
yourself?"
"Proximity-sensitive flowers?" Bert said skeptically. "Yeah,
sure, tell me another one!" Nonetheless, he did start to bend
closer to have a look at the strange, dark-green plants with the
peculiar-looking pods on the ends of the stalks; his curiosity had
been piqued, even though he was a lousy botanist. Kodachi stepped
back slightly, a triumphant grin spreading across her features.
"They don't appear to be......what the?! Ackpphhhtfhthtp!"
Bert surged upright, snorting and sneezing in surprise as the twin
plants suddenly swivelled like gun turrets and spat a cloud of
strange, faintly-glowing pollen into his face from two pods. He
doubled over again, wheezing and gasping; whatever the stuff was,
it was stinging his lungs like fire, and spots were beginning to
dance in front of his eyes.
"Don't you feel much better now?" Kodachi cooed. "You're going
to forget all about this now, aren't you?"
"That's what you think, lady," Bert wheezed, anger beginning
to kindle as he dropped to his knees, unable to breathe. He'd never
had an allergic reaction to pollen of any kind before, but he was
pretty sure that was what was happening now; it couldn't be
anything else. Great, his hazy mind noted sardonically, just great.
Here he was, dragged thousands of miles from home by goddamn
magical forces that he didn't understand, homesick and alone, and
he was suffocating because he'd been poisoned by some deranged,
cackling girl who'd planted killer weeds. "I'm not feeling better,
and I'm sure as hell not going to forget it!" He gritted his teeth,
trying to force himself back to his feet. Purple sparks began to
flare in his vision; he figured his air was running short.
Kodachi frowned in sudden doubt; the effects of the plants
were supposed to have been immediate, but the stranger who'd
confronted her didn't appear to be affected, not in the manner she
wanted, anyway. That meant she'd have to take care of him the
old-fashioned way, then. As she stepped forwards, a massive flare
of purple-white light accompanied by a concussive blast of air
split the night sky, throwing her hurtling backwards into the
bushes, and briefly etching sharp shadows through the small park.
BOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!
*****
"AAAAAAAAGGHH!!" Darlene screamed, throwing her hands over her
ears, doubling over in pain, almost falling to her knees. A very
surprised Nabiki caught her arm, and hauled her back to her feet.
"Twister?! I mean, Darlene, what's wrong?!" She looked around,
mystified, at the empty street they had been walking down; there
was nothing within sight that could have caused that kind of
reaction. A faint rumble in the background faded.
"You didn't hear it?!" Darlene asked dazedly, shaking her
head. There was a deafening ringing going on inside and she wished
someone would answer the phone so that she could at least hear
again. After a moment, it died down a little, very little.
"Hear what?" the brown-haired girl replied concernedly. "There
was nothing to hear! You just folded up, screaming!"
"But it was deafening!" Darlene protested. "How could you
not.....uh-oh." Her face suddenly blanched.
"What?! What is it?!"
"If only I heard it, in this form," Darlene said slowly, "then
it was inside my head, and so the sound was magically produced,
which means..." Her head snapped up, a worried light igniting in
her blue eyes. "It's Bert; something must have triggered his change
to SkyKnight."
"What?!" Nabiki said confusedly. "You mean he can instant
change like you and Ranma?"
"Not quite," Darlene sighed. "I'll explain later. Right now
we've got to go find him, quick. Something that loud on the magic
spectrum will probably bring a few people running." The two women
began running down the street as Darlene continued to steer them in
the direction her little tracking spell that she'd whipped up was
pointing. No one else could see it as she didn't want people
staring.
"Is ... is... it .... much.... further?!" Nabiki panted after
several blocks. How far away had he gone, anyway?!
"Just up ahead," Darlene replied, running easily and ignoring
any physical discomforts that manifested themselves. "He's showing
up like a beacon right now."
They pounded down the empty street and rounded a corner in
time to hear a loud, sizzling and crackling boom, as if someone had
temporarily unleashed lightning in the neighbourhood. A blinding
crimson aura sprang into being briefly in the air around a small
public park up ahead.
Darlene tried to run faster, praying that everything was okay.
They ran through the gates of the park, heading for approximately
where they'd heard the explosions emanate from. Darlene and Nabiki
skidded to a halt as they reached the approximate center of the
park, and stared around in stunned amazement at the swirling chaos
that now occupied the normally tranquil area.
Leaves swirled everywhere, being lofted around by lingering
vortices of air. A dusty, smoky haze drifted through the air in
some places and there was the smell of charred vegetation. As the
two girls stared around, it became evident that some of the
devastation originated from a central location; the way some of the
bushes and small trees had been levelled indicated an
outward-moving blast. They moved forward cautiously, nervous about
what they might find.
As they passed a drunkenly leaning tree, a staggering,
silver-garbed armour suit became visible. Tortured hacking and
coughing could be heard coming from SkyKnight, but they couldn't
see an apparent cause. It was evident that he was at ground zero of
the disaster; all the plants in the area were laying flat in an
outwardly radiating spiral from him.
"Bert!" Darlene called, relief surging up. "Are you okay?!
What happened?" She ran over to him. Nabiki followed more slowly,
looking around at the surrounding havoc, suddenly unsure of
herself.
"Just.... a .... second....can't ....breathe," SkyKnight
rasped. He reached up, and yanked off his helmet. Spinning around,
the red-haired Knight Saber was suddenly violently sick on a nearby
patch of scorched earth. Coughing weakly, he managed to get himself
under control as Darlene stared, wide-eyed. Concerned, she started
to move forwards to give him a steadying hand, but he waved her
off, staggering back up to his feet.
"Better," Bert said hoarsely, wiping his mouth on the back of
a gauntlet. He cleared his throat a few times, and sneezed a couple
more times before he seemed to recover from what had been bothering
him. His bloodshot, greenish-brown eyes blinked a few times, and he
took a deep, grateful breath.
"Aaaaah!" he sighed in relief, slapping his helmet back on,
but leaving the visor up. "Much better. You never realize how much
you miss breathing until it's not there."
"Would you PLEASE tell me what happened?!?!" Darlene demanded,
fuming in exasperation. Bert looked at her in surprise, finally
realizing who had come charging into the park. His gaze flicked
over towards Nabiki. Darlene had the sudden impression of shields
snapping into place, but Bert still answered her, not quite meeting
her gaze.
"Some bloody witch suckered me into looking at some stupid
plants and the goddamn things tried to poison me, that's what
happened. Whatever those plants shot at me damn near suffocated me;
I guess my suit reacted to my state of mind, which was alternately
scared and furious over the trick. Anyhow, whatever those plants
were, they won't be bothering anyone ever again." He pointed, and
Darlene finally noticed a large, smoking crater nearby. It was the
crater that the smell of charred plants was coming from.
"So who was this `witch'?" she asked curiously. SkyKnight
shrugged irritably.
"I don't know," he answered. "Some black-haired nutbar who
cackles insanely and talks to herself. She's back there somewhere,"
he added, gesturing vaguely in the direction he'd seen her go
flying in the blast that had accompanied the arrival of his suit.
"Uh-oh," Nabiki said. "That almost sounded like Kodachi."
"Who?"
"Kodachi. She's Kunou's sister, and she's mad about Ranma."
"Another one?!" SkyKnight shook his head. "I could almost feel
sorry for the guy. I..." He stiffened suddenly. "Kunou's SISTER?!
Oh bloody great! Now I've probably got the whole family mad at
me!!"
"That is the least of your worries, mister," a woman's voice
with barely controlled anger put in from behind him. SkyKnight
turned around as Darlene stepped around him to see who it was. A
furious older woman with green eyes and raven-black hair was
standing at the edge of the disaster zone, glaring at them.
"Hello, Professor," SkyKnight sighed. "Something I can help
you with?"
"Well, one thing you could do is...STOP CALLING YOUR ARMOUR!!"
Miyabi yelled furiously, glaring at the slightly cringing Bert in
his SkyKnight hardsuit.
Bert rallied his own anger. "I didn't have a flying choice in
the matter! I was att...att...achoooo!!!" he sneezed explosively,
almost falling down. "Damn. What _was_ that pollen?? I've never
been allergic before."
"Pardon me, Professor," Darlene interjected, saving Bert from
a blistering retort from Miyabi, "but if whoever attacked Bert was
Kodachi, and given her fixation on flowers and poisons it likely
was, then it's not really his fault."
Miyabi glared at Darlene and Bert for a moment, then visibly
tried to relax. "I'm sorry, Bert. When you do that it gives me an
awful headache and when it happens so unexpectedly...I get
irritable. If something gets you mad enough to summon your armour
then there must be a reason."
"Thank you," Bert nodded at the apology.
Darlene rubbed her forehead. "But next time, Bert, try to do
it when I'm male please? God, that hurt."
Bert was surprised, then concerned. "You too? Sorry about
that."
"Screamed and almost collapsed when it happened," Nabiki
remarked, making Bert even more worried.
Miyabi nodded. "She would've. Considering how _I_ feel and how
much more sensitive she is, I would suspect it hit twice as hard."
"It's okay," Darlene reassured Bert, who had been about to
apologize again. She turned to Nabiki, who seemed to sense what
Darlene planned to say next and was looking this way and that.
"Nabiki...? You wanted to say something?"
Nabiki's shoulders went up and down as she sighed deeply and
walked over to the armoured Bert, who stiffened a bit at her close
proximity. She looked somewhat hesitant as she started. "I'm...not
used to this as I'm usually good at...assessing a situation,
but..." she frowned suddenly and accusingly pointed at a startled
Bert's hardsuit. "It would help a _lot_ if you weren't wearing that
tailor-made tank," she complained.
"Nabiki..." Darlene reminded her. Bert had to grin a little;
the armour could intimidate people at times.
"Oh, all right! I _am_ sorry for thinking you were responsible
for what happened and for throwing you out." Nabiki looked away,
embarrassed. "I guess I wasn't thinking very calmly then."
Bert thought about what his own reactions would be if he had
seen someone standing over a crying Nene. Not very good ones, he
admitted to himself. Actually, Nabiki probably handled it much more
calmly than he would have in her position. You never do think very
rationally when it comes to the ones you love, he mused, glancing
at Darlene, even if they are a little strange.
He smiled at Nabiki, who appeared relieved at his reaction.
"Apology accepted."
"I'm sure someone will explain what you are talking about?!"
Miyabi demanded. "It's getting late so let's conclude this quickly.
You two," she pointed at Nabiki and Darlene, "have classes
tomorrow, remember?"
Darlene sighed. "I told you my emotions in female form
intensified during my...ah...trip, Professor, and I'm still trying
to get used to them. Sometimes...they get a little out of control."
She looked embarrassed. Bert rolled his eyes at the understatement,
but didn't add any extra comments.
"Ah yes, I'd forgotten with this matter with Bert, but then,"
Miyabi looked very amused, "you _were_ rather in a hurry to leave
the..."
"Yes, yes!" Darlene, in a panic, interrupted her frantically.
"Well, like you said, it's late. Me and Nabiki gotta go back for
some hot water, so I'll teleport to your place and pick up Bert.
Okay, Bert? Great! See you in a bit. Come on, Nabiki!" Darlene
practically threw Nabiki over her shoulder as she dragged the
startled young woman behind her in her mad rush back to the dojo.
Very surprised, Bert watched them leave. Why does she remind
me of A-Ko right now? he mused. Shrugging, he turned to the still
smiling Professor. "Now what was _that_ all about?"
"It seems my young pupil hasn't told Nabiki about what
happened in the village of the Amazons yet," Miyabi chuckled.
"Amazons..." Memory tickled Bert's mind until it hit him like
a sledge hammer. "Wait... Don't tell me she got into a fight...and
won?"
Miyabi arched her eyebrows in surprise. "You know their
customs?"
"Just that one about male-marry, female-kill. Hoo, boy.
There's trouble brewing I would imagine."
"Perhaps I shouldn't have mentioned it, but it will come out
soon enough. Like all in their village, Lotion is a very determined
young woman. Fortunately, she's nicer than most. _Very_ fortunate,
since she's also studying magic."
"Oh, boy." Bert said worriedly. "That _is_ trouble. I hope
Nabiki isn't in danger."
"Perhaps," Miyabi's lips twitched in amusement, "but not the
type of danger you mean." Before Bert could inquire further, she
briskly said, "Now, returning your armour: How shall we do this?"
Bert grinned. "I can suggest one method..." he started,
slapping his helmet visor closed. Instantly, the red helmet eyeslot
flared into eerily-glowing life, and a low thrum began to pulse
through the air. His wings snapped out behind him as Miyabi looked
at him dubiously.
*****
Darlene screeched to a halt when they reached the dojo,
panting heavily and not just from exertion.
Nabiki's hair had seen better days as it stuck out in random
intervals. "I think we could've _slowed down_ a little," she
complained, straightening out her clothes and checking out her
normally flat hair.
"Sorry, but Bert can move _fast_ in that suit of his. Didn't
want them to wait too long," Darlene explained, thinking quickly.
"You still have to walk back," Nabiki pointed out. "He seems
rather...reluctant about your teleports."
Darlene's face fell, then grinned. "_That_ is easily taken
care of."
Nabiki held her hands up. "I don't want to know."
"Chicken."
"Practical," Nabiki countered as they finally stepped into the
house.
Everyone seemed to be back; Soun and Genma were playing Go, as
usual; Kasumi cleaning up the table with the remnants of supper;
faint sounds from the training hall indicating Akane was smashing
bricks; and Ranma...
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" came a feminine scream from upstairs.
WHAM! BANG! "Come _back_ here you old pervert!!" CRASH!
"Ranma's playing with Happousai again," Nabiki commented
redundantly.
"Hmm... I need to tell them not to get Bert mad," Darlene
said. "Better change first." She headed towards to kitchen.
"I'll check up on Akane," Nabiki called out, and started
towards the training hall.
*****
"But this bra would look so good on you!" Happousai petulantly
cried out as he dodged Ranma-chan's furious kick, said bra in hand.
"Forget it, you old lech!!" the furious red-head shouted.
Twister watched them for a moment as the two bounced around in
the upstairs hallway. They didn't notice him because he was using
his `unnotice me' trick. He sighed. There was only one thing he
could do to make them listen, but he really didn't like to do it.
Oh, well.
Ranma-chan stopped in mid air during her next assault on the
old hentai, startling her considerably. "What?!?!"
"Sweetums!" Happousai leaped in joy as Ranma-chan tried to
frantically backpedal in mid-air. Then Happousai was caught in
mid-air also, a few scant feet away from a now-relieved Ranma-chan.
"Noooooo!!!!" he cried in anguish.
"Oh, come on. It's not _that_ bad," Twister griped.
Both suspended martial artists somehow whirled im mid-air to
look at the calm face of the brown-haired psionist.
"I don't need your help, Twister..." Ranma-chan started.
"I needed to get your attention somehow." Twister shrugged.
"This seemed best as I'm in a hurry."
Ranma-chan folded into a cross-legged, sitting position. "So
what did you want to say?"
"The guy who's going to be staying here..._don't_ get him mad.
Please. For his sake _and_ yours."
"Even if he beat Kunou, what's all the fuss?" Ranma-chan
wanted to know.
"His armour was affected when he was brought here and whenever
he gets really angry it's summoned to him. Explosively. Think of
two of Happousai's bombs going off point-blank in your face. He ran
into Kodachi and she tried something on him that Bert found
hyper-allergenic. His suit came, Kodachi went flying, and Bert
nuked the plants she used with his on-board weapons. You'd have a
_very_ tough time avoiding damage from laser and particle-beam
weapons," he added for Happousai's benefit.
Suddenly, Happousai pulled out a bucket and splashed a
surprised Twister with water. Ranma-chan dropped to the floor,
hard, as the telekinetic force keeping her up vanished, but the old
hentai was ready and bounced to the wet Darlene, or, more
accurately, her breasts.
"AAHHH!!" she screamed in shock, then more angrily, "FREEZE,
PLEASE!!"
Happousai went stiff as a board, still clinging to the angry
mage until she pulled him off. His eyes still moved back and forth
frantically.
She dropped him, not caring about the floor, and he landed
with a thunk. "Argh! He just can't give up, can he?" Darlene spat
furiously.
"Happousai?? Yeah, right." Ranma-chan cheerfully strolled over
and poked at the living statue. "Is this the same thing you did to
me?"
"Yes, except he won't freeze; he just can't move." Darlene
grimaced. "I've got to get going. See you later." She turned and
left for the kitchen.
Ranma-chan kneeled down to look directly into Happousai's
still moving eyes. Grinning, she dangled the bra in front of him
and the eyes filled with tears.
"Guess we're gonna have some fun, don'tcha think, Gramps?"
Somehow, the eyes conveyed a great sense of panic.
*****
When Twister arrived in Miyabi's workshop, Bert was pacing the
floor. Seeing Twister's face, he sighed. "Finally!" Then he
frowned. "What's with the getup? And why does it seem so damn
familiar?" Twister was dressed in a dark blue riding outfit and
holding a motorcycle helmet in one arm.
"Well, seeing you don't seem to like teleportation..." Twister
started.
"I'm getting more used to the concept," Bert interjected, even
though he still looked queasy at the prospect.
"...I brought other transportation." Twister finished, and
held up what appeared to be a small model of a motorcycle, much to
Bert's disbelief.
"Surely you don't plan on shrinking _us_?!" When Twister
rolled his eyes Bert sighed with relief.
"I shrunk my bike I built in Mega-Tokyo and brought it with
me. All you need to do is speak a word and it'll grow back to
normal. Don't worry about a helmet for now; if you're not safe with
a telekinetic biker, who is?" Twister grinned slyly, adding, "And
don't call me Shirley." Bert grimaced at the joke, and returned to
examining Twister's clothing.
"That getup you've got still looks damn familiar...." Bert
snapped his fingers when it came to him. "That's Priss' getup
and..." He peered at the mini-bike. "..her bike too!"
Twister shrugged. "I copied it. And...had some fun with her."
He grimaced. "Even though she got me back many times because of
it."
"Oho!" Bert grinned evilly. "This I've got to hear! Come on,
spill it! And don't leave anything out now!"
"Me and my big mouth," Twister muttered to himself. He glanced
at the grinning red-head, sighed, and began his narrative as he led
the way out of the room. Bert listened attentively as he followed.
"Well, one night I was driving down the Bayshore Highway of
the city, when..."
Part Three - School Daze!
-------------------------

"What's the matter, Pop?" Ranma's voice taunted. "Gettin' SLOW
in your old age?" There was a loud splash immediately after that
statement, and a moment later what sounded like a large animal
snarling could be heard.
"Looks like you're all washed up!" Ranma's voice hooted.
"Guess you'd better.... AAHHH!!" There was another loud splash, and
then an angry young girl's voice shouted, "Hey!!! That's cheating,
old man!!"
Bert gritted his teeth in profound irritation, rolling over on
the bed and pulling a pillow down over his ears, trying to muffle
the noise from the early morning practice session that Ranma and
Genma were having. He cracked an eyelid open, gazing blearily at
the clock. It wasn't even seven o'clock yet!! Hadn't they heard of
sleeping in?! A voice in the back of his mind reminded him that it
was a school day, and that meant that pretty much everyone in the
household had to get up fairly early. It also pointed out the fact
that the two Saotomes always had an early morning brawl... err...
training session. Great, just great.
With a disgusted sigh, he threw off the blankets and got up.
After a quick clean-up and shave in the bathroom, he tidied up his
room and made the bed. Mentally bracing himself, he took a deep
breath and marched the final mile down to the breakfast table.
"Good morning!" Kasumi's cheery voice greeted him as he
lumbered into the dining room. The eldest daughter looked, as
always, friendly and cheerful, wearing a sunny yellow dress with a
crisp white apron over top of it. Mr. Tendo merely grunted
something that sounded like "uhmhmm" from behind his morning paper,
but didn't look up from it.
"Morning," Bert sighed, trying to at least appear civil; he
was a lousy morning person, and being rudely awakened by the
martial artists in the back yard hadn't helped his disposition any.
Kasumi didn't seem to notice his glowering thundercloud status at
the moment. As he sat down, she placed a VERY large mug of steaming
tea in front of him, placing sugar and milk nearby. Bert glanced
from the beer-stein-sized mug to Kasumi, faint surprise showing on
his face.
"Twister warned me that you were a big tea drinker," she
explained, correctly interpreting his puzzled look. "Although he
described your consumption as a `massive chemical kick-start'."
"That's not too far from the truth," Bert grinned sheepishly.
"I usually can't make it through the morning without at least one
cup of tea." He added milk and sugar to the steaming concoction in
the desired amounts and began slowly working his way through the
caffeine cocktail. As the liquid level in his mug lowered, his mood
lifted appreciably, making the day ahead seem not as threatening.
As he was drinking, Akane came in and sat down at the table with a
cheery "Good 'morning!".
" 'Morning," he replied, taking another cautious sip at his
mug. "How are you feeling today?"
"Pretty good," she replied between bites of breakfast. "After
school today I'm going to be dropping by the university to meet
this professor of Twister's."
"Professor Miyabi," Bert absently corrected, his mind suddenly
leaping ahead to his own plans for the day. Sometime during the day
he had to go and see the professor so that they could discuss his
suit, and his rather unique problem, in detail. He suddenly woke to
the fact that Akane had said something, and he'd missed whatever it
was. She was looking at him curiously.
"Sorry," he apologized, flushing. "My mind wanders in the
morning; what was that you said?"
"What are you going to be doing today?"
"I'm not too sure," he admitted. "Sometime today I've got to
go see that professor myself; the rest of the day I'm kinda vague
on what things to do." Silence fell for a few long moments, during
which Bert wolfed down a few pieces of toast with cheese. The
noises from the backyard, thwacking and slapping sounds, continued
for a while.
As Bert washed down the last of his breakfast with another mug
of tea, the short, red-pigtailed figure of Ranma-chan came in
through the back door, straightening out her gi. A large panda
loomed in the doorway behind her; the floorboards creaked ominously
as the huge animal waddled across the dining room and sat down at
the table. Ranma-chan also sat down, giving him a brief nod by way
of greeting. Bert returned the nod, and continued to quietly sip at
his drink. Silence seemed to hang oppressively over the table as
everyone else quietly ate, and Bert knew it was at least partly the
family's discomfort at having a total stranger at the table,
although he wasn't really a complete stranger anymore.
As he sat, quietly drinking, he couldn't keep from glancing
sidelong at the massive bear sitting nearby. Genma, in his bear
form, was huge, and seeing a panda sitting at the dinner table
using cups and plates like normal people was almost enough to
provoke hysterical laughter. He resisted the impulse to say
anything, however; he was just going to have to grin and bear it.
"So whatcha doin' today?" Ranma-chan asked him finally.
"Looking around, probably," he replied. "I guess I need to
find a job, or at least something to keep me occupied for a while.
I don't really know how long it's going to take to find a way to
send me home, so I've got to do something or I'll go nuts." He
clamped down ruthlessly on the panic that erupted in the back of
his mind at the thought of not being able to go home; there had to
be a way to do it. There just had to be!
"Maybe there's something at the university you could look
into," Akane suggested. "Twister's said a few times that they're
looking for people for various jobs in the labs."
"I'll look into it," he promised, "but I'm not going to rush
things yet; I've only just arrived, and I don't want to jump
headfirst into things."
"Unlike some people we know," Akane remarked dryly, looking at
Ranma-chan. The red-pigtailed girl flushed, blue eyes narrowing
angrily. Oh Lord, Bert groaned to himself, here we go again.
Sighing, he knocked back the last of his drink, trying to ignore
the calls of "uncute" and "jerk" that volleyed back and forth
across the table. As the shouting match escalated Bert gave brief
thanks that he was going to be elsewhere during the day.
*****
Professor Miyabi looked up from her desk as a tall young man
loomed in the doorway of the lecture hall where her class was due
to start shortly. She frowned for a moment; he didn't look like one
of her students. In fact, he looked like he wanted to be anywhere
else BUT in the room at the moment. It was when the young man
sighed and took off the white baseball cap he was wearing that she
recognized Bert, relaxing her caution. Curiosity nudged the back of
her mind slightly; given the way he'd reacted to magic earlier,
seeing him enter one of her classes was the last thing she would
have expected. She sat back, placing the papers she'd been marking
to the side as she watched him approach.
"Good afternoon," he quietly greeted her, greenish-brown eyes
flicking a nervous glance around the room. "You're a hard person to
find."
"Oh? What makes you say that?" she inquired.
"Your courses aren't in the school calendar, and I really had
to prod the registrar's office before they'd even admit that you
were on the campus. Any particular reason for the `hard-to-get'
routine?"
"Think about it for a moment," she suggested dryly. "I'm
teaching courses on something most people prefer to believe does
not exist. Magic is something that violates reality as most normal
people perceive it, and revealing it to the general public would
cause some problems. Why do you think I prefer to avoid open
displays of power? Secondly, putting `Magic 101' on the course
calendars would look like a joke. I have an understanding with the
registrar's office: I don't bother them, and they leave me to
instruct as I wish, recruiting the students for my courses as I
wish."
"Sounds reasonable," Bert admitted, then smiled slightly. "I
can just imagine the kinds of problems you could give them if you
felt like it." The professor smiled back briefly, then turned
serious again.
"What did you need to see me for?" she queried, watching him
closely. To her, it looked like he had clamped an ironclad grip on
his nerves in order to remain in the same room as her. A few
students started to trickle in through the doorway behind him.
"When did you want to try testing me and my suit to see just
what's going on?"
"Hmmm," she looked at him thoughtfully, considering. "I'm free
after this next class; we can see what develops from there."
"Okay, that's fine with me," he replied, then hesitated,
looking like he'd just swallowed something distasteful. "Would you
... mind... if I just sort of parked myself in the back of the
classroom and eavesdrop?" he said, forcing the words out. "I'll
keep my mouth shut and I won't do anything."
"Why?" she asked directly, meeting his greenish-brown
eyed-gaze with a clear, level green-eyed one of her own. "Are you
thinking of learning magic?"
"NO!!" he snapped in a strangled voice, just shy of actually
shouting. He made a harshly-checked, slashing gesture of denial as
he struggled to get a grip on himself. Miyabi watched as he took a
few deep breaths, visibly forcing himself to calm down.
"Sorry," he apologized a moment later. "I don't want to learn
magic, but I think I've got to at least partly understand what it
is in order to keep from dropping off the deep end and going nuts.
If I can understand it, maybe I can help figure out how to get
myself home."
"It's not a bad idea," she admitted. "This class might not be
the best one to sit in on, though: it's all the upper year
students. Maybe you should sit in on Twister's...."
"I appreciate the thought, but no," Bert interrupted. "I've
already disrupted his life as it is; I'd rather not extend that to
include his classes, too."
"All right," she reluctantly conceded. "Just find a seat in
the back then. We can go check your suit afterwards."
"Thanks." Bert turned, and walked to the back of the
classroom. Some of the entering students gave him a look of frank
curiosity, but he avoided meeting their gazes and passed them by,
sitting down at a desk in the shadows of the back corner of the
room. Professor Miyabi thoughtfully looked at him for a moment,
then turned her attention to the class as the last few stragglers
came in and found seats.
"Good afternoon," she greeted the body of students. "I hope
all of you have studied the items I requested the other day..."
*****
Bert stifled another yawn, glancing sidelong at the clock
hanging on the wall near him. The lecture had been going on for an
hour, and he was bored absolutely stiff. Having someone ramble on
about vaguely-understood concepts for a long time was the fastest
way he could think of to put someone to sleep. Professor Miyabi was
a marvellously clear and concise speaker, but his mind was having
problems accepting some of the lecture material, and as a result he
was beginning to nod off as his attention wandered. He was trying
to think of a way to sneak out of the room without attracting a lot
of attention to himself when one of the Professor's statements
about casting spells grabbed his notice.
"One thing you must exercise at all times," she stated, "no
matter what the situation may be, is control of your emotions. If
you don't, then there is a very strong possibility that they will
drastically affect how some of your spells respond. For example, if
you try to light a candle while angry, there is the possibility
that the spell will produce a fireball instead of a match flame.
Your state of mind can influence how much, or how little, power
goes into a particular spell."
Bert's mind cartwheeled off into another direction as the
Professor continued her lecture at that point, dwelling on her
remarks about emotions. Her statements made sense, and fit with his
rudimentary theory of what magic was. The brain produced different
electrochemical reactions based on the state of a person's
emotions, therefore it followed that some of those reactions would
affect how magic was controlled, adversely or not.
He abruptly realized that the professor had also unknowingly
explained why his suit arrived in the spectacular fashion that it
did; so far, it had been summoned whenever he was angry, and that
could mean that his anger was `over-powering' the summoning
process, creating the explosions and shockwaves. While he didn't
cast spells, he DID seem to be exerting unconscious control over
the forces that had affected him and his suit. He supposed that her
explanation applied to him as well.
Bert gazed unseeingly across the lecture hall, mind racing.
Maybe his suit could be summoned when he was relaxed? If that was
the case, then getting to it if he needed it in a non-critical
situation would be a lot easier, not to mention quieter for all the
magic-sensitive people in the area. The main question was: just how
did he summon his suit when he was mad?
Bert frowned to himself, concentrating and trying to remember
as Professor Miyabi called for a volunteer from the class to
demonstrate a spell for animating objects. He briefly wondered why
the topic of cartoons had entered a magic class, then dismissed the
thought as irrelevant. Now, each time he'd called his suit so far
had been a situation where he'd been angry, and in real danger.
Each time, he'd immediately envisioned himself in his suit,
responding to the threat to himself somehow, usually with his
weapons. Somehow, that had translated into a process that had
teleported his suit instantly to him. Now what if he envisioned a
more gradual change? Would that quietly summon his armour to him?
Bert watched as a young woman with long black hair and dark
clothing stood up near the front of the class. He'd seen her
entering earlier when he'd been talking to the Professor, and at
the time, she'd given him a faintly appraising look that had made
him nervous. Now, it appeared that she was going to do the
demonstration for the Professor. He turned his attention back to
his contemplations, although he noted in the back of his mind that
the black-haired girl was drawing a circle on the floor around what
looked like a small stone statue, wondering what she was going to
do.
Bert looked down at his hands, flexed them a couple of times,
and took a deep breath. Closing his eyes, he put his head back and
concentrated on forming an image of his suit in his mind. He knew
every contour of the armour intimately, and it didn't take long to
form an image of the silver-and-blue hardsuit. In his mind, he
began mentally picturing himself stepping into his suit and
starting the closure processes.
At the front of the classroom, the black-haired girl started
weaving complicated patterns in the air with her hands.
*****
Professor Miyabi concealed an irritated frown as she glanced
around the classroom; there was an aggravating, low-pitched, almost
subliminal hum emanating from somewhere in the room, and she
couldn't seem to locate the source. The noise, while not loud, was
annoying enough that it could possibly distract someone while
casting spells, which would not be a Good Thing.
Reminded of what was going on, she returned her attention to
Natsumi, who was casting a spell to animate the small stone
gargoyle statue sitting on the floor. A rudimentary spell at her
student's level, it nevertheless required great precision to cast
properly. As she watched, Miyabi noted that a few of the other
students had noticed the hum, and were fidgeting. It suddenly hit
her that all of the ones fidgeting were the ones in the class that
were the most magic-sensitive, and she started keeping a close eye
on Natsumi to try and determine if the black-haired girl was
affected. Natsumi finished the closing gestures of the spell, and
pointed at the statue. The chalk circle on the floor glowed
briefly, and then the small statue began to move.
It also began to grow.
Miyabi stared disbelievingly at the rapidly growing gargoyle
as Natsumi backed away in utter shock; that spell shouldn't have
had the effect it was having now! The small statue was only
supposed to have walked a few steps around the circle, and then
stopped moving. It was now about four feet in height,
proportionately broad, and still growing fast. Stony eyes on the
gargoyle opened, revealing an evil, pulsing purple glow, and clawed
hands flexed menacingly.
Shock snapped Miyabi back to the peril of the situation.
Bracing herself, she snapped out a quick counterspell to eliminate
the one that had animated the statue, but it had no effect at all.
As the professor tried to think of a more powerful spell to use,
the gargoyle stepped across the chalk circle, beginning a slow,
rumbling approach towards Natsumi, flexing stony claws and wings.
It was around ten feet tall now, and appeared to have stopped
growing.
As if the stone monster's menacing approach had been a signal,
the remainder of the class bolted, pouring out the doors of the
classroom in a barely-controlled escape. Miyabi envied them
briefly; she had to stay and stop the monster before it could get
out and cause damage that could lead to awkward questions. Natsumi
was still seemingly paralyzed by fear; the young woman had tried
cancelling her spell herself, but nothing had happened. She was
staring like a trapped rat at the grey creature as it loomed over
her.
"Look out!!" Miyabi heard someone shout, then a moving blur
dodged past her. As she watched, Bert ducked under the gargoyle's
wings, and snatched Natsumi barely out of the way of a hissing claw
swipe. He ducked another strike at himself and shoved Natsumi ahead
of him, trying to get her clear of the ponderous stone juggernaut.
She stumbled and fell, and Bert tried to pull her up and drag her
with him as he retreated from the slowly advancing stone statue.
Miyabi muttered another counterspell, unleashing it on the
gargoyle again. Again, nothing happened; it was as if there was
some other kind of magic interfering with her spell. She watched in
helpless frustration as Bert tried again to get Natsumi out of the
way, but failed. Natsumi was too scared or stunned to co-operate in
his efforts to get her to move, and was tripping them up. As the
stumbling pair barely avoided another raking swipe, Bert suddenly
shoved Natsumi out of the way, and turned to face the gargoyle,
taking a wide-legged stance.
"Bert!!" Miyabi yelled, face paling as she recognized a
combat-type stance. "Don't do it!! You don't know...." She cut off
the shout as a swirling purple glow suddenly enveloped him,
coalescing into a silver-and-blue armour suit. There was no
deafening magical explosion this time, just a muffled "whoomp"
noise and a quick breeze. She stared incredulously, a look mirrored
by the surprised Natsumi from where she was sprawled on the floor.
However, Miyabi's surprise was more from the manner in which it had
been accomplished; how had he managed that trick without levelling
the surrounding area?!
"Hold vile monster!" SkyKnight's electronic voice boomed
suddenly. "Here endeth your foul advance!"
The gargoyle was unimpressed, and its stony claws speared
towards the silver armour suit. Lightning-quick, SkyKnight slapped
the thrusting arm aside, following through with an uppercut to the
gargoyle's head. There was a loud CLANG, and the stone leviathan
rocked slightly, but that was it. The punch, even though backed by
the hardsuit's considerable strength, hadn't even scratched the
statue's rocky hide.
"Oops! Oh shit!!" SkyKnight ducked another claw swipe. This
time he grabbed the monster's arm and jerked it up into the air,
spinning around and throwing it over his back. The stone creature
smashed the front row of desks into pulverized debris as it landed
on top of them, and Professor Miyabi had to duck flying splinters.
She quickly got out of the way of the two combatants, retreating to
where Natsumi was standing, the younger woman staring agape at the
silver-armoured figure.
"Okay, buster," SkyKnight addressed the gargoyle. "Let's see
you take this for granite, then!" His arms snapped up, and twin,
coruscating bolts of crackling crimson energy slammed into the
gargoyle with a thundering blast, gouging huge holes into its hide.
The monster snarled, a noise reminiscent of a landslide, and lunged
towards the silver hardsuit.
"Uh-uh, ugly," SkyKnight said. "I've got your number now! No
more Mr. Gneiss guy!" The silver-clad Knight Saber wound up and
smashed the gargoyle sprawling with a tremendous roundhouse punch.
The gargoyle flew into the few remaining intact desks in the room,
demolishing them. As the stone behemoth awkwardly tried to get back
to its feet, SkyKnight cut loose with all of his onboard particle
lasers. Four searing beams of red-white energy hammered into the
stone monster, spraying red-hot chunks of rock everywhere. Miyabi
and Natsumi ducked the flying shards, coughing in the acrid smoke
that began to fill the room.
"Anyone for some spare gravel?" SkyKnight's voice asked, the
silver suit suddenly looming out of the drifting haze in front of
them. The professor couldn't answer for a moment, being still busy
coughing. The helmet on the suit swivelled to regard Natsumi.
"Are you okay, M'Lady?" he asked courteously. She nodded
uncertainly, not quite sure what to make of the towering armoured
figure.
"Who are you?" the wide-eyed, black-haired girl finally asked.
"_His_ name," Miyabi, having cleared her throat, stated before
Bert could proclaim his name in a suitably chivalrous, and
impressive, manner, "is Bert, which will soon become _mud_ unless
he tells me how he brought that blasted armour so silently this
time."
"That's not very polite, Professor. I didn't have a chance to
introduce myself," Bert protested. He relented under her stern,
unwavering stare. "Oh, okay! I got the idea listening to a part of
your lecture, all right?"
"_My_ lecture?? Which part? And take off that helmet so I can
see your face; I hate talking to a blank piece of plastic."
"Ceramics, not plastic," Bert corrected as he took off the
helmet. He dusted off the helmet as best he could and tucked it
under his elbow, grinning innocently at the aggrieved professor.
"I don't know which is worse; the magical headaches that
armour can cause, or the puns," Miyabi muttered loudly. Bert put on
a hurt expression, but was ignored. "Just _when_ were you
experimenting with this `idea'?"
Bert frowned; what was the point of this? "It was around the
time when that stone stooge ...started...going...amuck..." The
resigned expression that appeared on Miyabi's face when he passed
the mid-point of his sentence caused him to reflect upon his
strangely altered armour. The sinking feeling in his stomach that
abruptly developed as the light dawned must've been how the Titanic
felt when it developed a romantic attachment to a fickle iceberg.
"You don't think that I ...I ... ayeeee..."
"...accidentally caused the spell to go out of control? Very
likely," Miyabi confirmed his dread. "You forget that it was
uncontrolled magic, or rather Wild magic, that affected you and
your armour. And your trying to activate that Wild magic seems to
affect spells cast within range. It seems to have many odd
effects."
"Oh, great," Bert moaned, closing his eyes, and slapping a
gauntleted hand over them. "I try to do something magically
constructive and I almost wipe out your class. Just perfect." He
just couldn't seem to do anything right in this wacko magic
universe.
"Don't be too hard on yourself," purred a close, female voice.
"You fixed your mistake _very_ well."
Startled, Bert snapped open his eyes, lowering his hand, to
stare into the attractive brown eyes of the girl that had conjured
the gargoyle. She was very close, and smiled winningly up at him,
making the red-haired young man suddenly very nervous. "Ah... um...
I'm sorry, I don't know your name, M'Lady," he stammered, flushing
self-consciously. He realized a moment later that he shouldn't have
said `M'Lady' to her again, as her smile warmed up even more.
"It's Natsumi, and _you_ rescued me, my magical and quite
formidable knight," she said seductively, lazily blinking up at a
now panicky Bert.
"H-hey! Hold on a second! _I'm_ the one who _caused_ the
accident!" he blurted.
Natsumi tilted her head, thinking that over. "True, but seeing
you in action, protecting me from harm, more than makes up for
that, I think." Standing stock-still in shock, Bert stared at the
smiling young mage as she intertwined her fingers behind his back,
drawing closer to his armoured form to derive more comfort from it.
He was saved by Professor Miyabi who had watched Bert flounder and
decided to spare him, for now, from Natsumi's attentions.
"I thought you were going after Twister, Natsumi," Miyabi
casually observed. The younger mage flushed red with embarrassment
and quickly untangled herself from Bert, much to his relief.
"I... I am... I mean... I _was_, but..." flustered, Natsumi
stopped short, unable to continue. She didn't know what had
happened during that trip he had taken with the professor, but
Twister seemed to have consciously or unconsciously decided on
Nabiki, not Natsumi, to be his only love. Even if the other two
didn't know it, _she_ could tell by the signs he had displayed. In
other words: she was free. Also, her attractive rescuer _did_ seem
similar in personality, if not in appearance, to Twister, whom she
did like a lot.
That fact resolved her. "Yes, I guess I _was_. Not anymore
though..." Her steamy look gave no doubts as to whom her next
vic... er, target was.
What is _with_ this place?!? I'm barely here for half a week
and I've already got some girl wanting me to be her boyfriend?!
Bert mentally fumed. Then again, that seems to be the norm around
here for some people, Ranma being the prime example. I hope to hell
it's not catching, but I don't think I'm going to get that lucky;
hopefully it'll only be a mild case. He sighed to himself, noting
briefly to himself that, despite Natsumi targeting him for future
romance, his tension levels seemed to have dropped considerably as
a result of his skirmish with the gargoyle; the hidden blessing to
this mess.
"You two can resolve this later," Miyabi stated firmly,
cutting in. "Bert, as you have nothing better to do, you can help
me clean up the wreckage; this class seems to have been cancelled
for today. However, the next will be coming soon. Twister's, in
fact."
At that reminder, Natsumi quickly stepped up to Bert, pulled
his head down before he could react, and kissed him lightly on the
lips before running to the room's exit.
"We'll meet again, my knight in shining armour!" she cried
before leaving.
Bert stared after her, slack-jawed, then groaned. "Why me?" he
demanded of whatever gods would listen. No one answered him; either
the heavenly court was currently adjourned, or else all the lines
were busy. Miyabi's clearing of her throat caught his attention.
"Once you've helped me with this mess...do you know if you can
_return_ that armour? _And_ bring your clothes _back_?" she queried
archly.
"Um...no." Bert grinned sheepishly.
"That's what I thought," Miyabi sighed; this day was going to
be an interesting one.
*****
I can't _believe_ he's doing this, Darlene thought
disbelievingly for about the hundredth time during the class,
staring at the sight in the front of the class.
Standing absolutely still in a front corner of the room,
imitating its ancient forebears in museums, was the armoured form
of SkyKnight. Professor Miyabi completely ignored the incongruous
intruder as she continued lecturing to the class. She hadn't given
any sort of explanation when Darlene had walked in, only to jerk to
a stop and stare at the technological knight. Miyabi had pointedly
ignored her wide-eyed, quizzical stare, indicating that she was to
sit down. The others in the classroom figured that the unusual
sight was an illusion or something leftover from the previous class
as the professor didn't seem overly concerned about it.
Darlene knew better, but wasn't sure what to do about it.
This is going to be an interesting story to hear.
*****
Bert almost sagged in relief; the class was over and he would
soon be free to move again. It had been an eternity standing like
a statue doing nothing, but it was the best way Miyabi could think
up to disguise him on such short notice as students had started
coming in. He still didn't like teleportation, and had adamantly
refused to be `ported to her house.
One good thing about this being a magic class at least, he
mused. No one thought having me standing in the front of the class
was terribly strange.
He had occupied himself by running diagnostics on his suit
over and over again. Fascinating how the some of the systems were
now changing minutely every few minutes in terms of the power
output, possible indications that a tune-up was needed. He'd have
to examine it in detail later, if he could get the right tools.
Darlene had been quite surprised at his appearance; the look
on her face had been comical to say the least. Bert had stifled an
impulse to wave at her at that point. She'd glanced at him
periodically during the class, shaking her head, and he'd grinned
to himself as he imagined what must've been running through her
mind. He'd also resisted the admittedly mischievous impulse to use
his helmet speakers and sound system to `punctuate' the professor's
lecture with appropriate sound effects; he didn't particularly want
to find out what being turned into a REAL statue would be like.
As the class filed out, Darlene stayed behind after saying
good-byes to a cute, blue-haired girl whom she seemed to be friends
with. When everybody save Professor Miyabi, Darlene, and SkyKnight
were gone from the room, Miyabi closed the door and sighed as she
looked at Bert, who had started moving again.
Darlene stepped over to him. "Why...? You looked like... I..."
she began haltingly, then gave up and doubled over laughing
hysterically; she couldn't help it, it just struck her as suddenly
being funny.
Bert stretched his armoured arms with relief, while being
irritated at being the source of her amusement. "There was a little
accident," he told her. "When we finished cleaning up it was too
late to do anything but pretend I was some kind of magical
experiment, as suggested," he finished, waving at Miyabi as the
source of said advice.
"But why _stay_ like that??" Darlene managed to get out. She
took a deep breath to calm herself, but still snickered a bit every
so often. It made her currently female chest bob when she did.
Turning his helmeted head to try to get rid of the distraction
of seeing Darlene's current... endowments, Bert muttered mentally
to himself, she's a _guy_; why should I feel an attraction? Right,
a guy who's a cute, red-headed 100% female at the moment. God, I
hope I get out of this universe soon; my mental health may depend
on it. Aloud, he said, "I didn't know if I could get my clothes
back the same way I did with my hardsuit. I don't really care to be
buck naked at the moment. And teleportation is out," he ended
fairly firmly.
"If you don't mind, Twister, change and get his clothes from
my house, then teleport his suit back," Miyabi requested.
Darlene rolled her eyes. "This is getting to be a habit." Then
she snapped her fingers. "Bert, did Akane say if she was coming to
Miyabi's today?"
"Yeah, she mentioned she was," he replied.
"What's this?" Miyabi curiously inquired.
"Well, I discovered that a friend of mine seems to be able to
make magic by cooking, she might be pretty strong too; she made her
dish _glow_ and it wasn't a pleasant sight."
Miyabi frowned. "Bad cook?" When Darlene nodded, the frown
deepened. "Odd, the methods beginning magic-users use are usually
aptitudes that come easily to the caster. You cast rhymes, Natsumi
gestures, and so on." She turned thoughtful. "I've also never heard
of a _cooking_ one. Most strange. And you are right; for a failed
recipe to even glow, she must be either strong-willed or strong in
power."
"Likely both," Darlene muttered under her breath.
"Ah... not that I want to rush you, but..." Bert asked.
"Oops. Be back soon!" Darlene rushed out the door.
*****
Bert sat back uneasily in a padded easy chair, a steaming mug
of tea in one hand, looking around the book-strewn library as if he
expected the aged volumes to leap at him. From a shadowed corner of
the room, light glinted off of his hardsuit plating. The sight of
his suit made him feel a little more secure.
"Relax," Professor Miyabi advised. "I just want to know now
EXACTLY what you did in the classroom today; then, we'll... I mean,
I'LL cast a couple of detection spells, and that will be it for
today. After that, you can leave if you wish, or you can wait for
Twister and Akane. We may be a while on that score, however; I
can't recall ever having heard of anything remotely close to what
Akane can do before." She stopped talking, and sat down behind her
desk, waiting.
"Well," Bert began slowly, "I was sort of listening to your
lecture, although I was getting kind of bored in spots, not because
of you," he added hastily, looking sheepish. "I just didn't
understand a lot of the material..."
"I believe I warned you about that possibility," she remarked.
"True," he sighed, taking a swig from his mug. "Anyhow, it was
your mention of how emotion could affect your spell results that
got me thinking..." He continued, explaining his rudimentary magic
theory to her, and how emotions had figured into his equation. He
then quickly described the process he'd used to summon the suit,
emphasizing the fact that he'd been calm and controlled. The urge
to protect Natsumi had also helped somewhat, giving him something
to focus on. The `damsel-in-distress' reflex, he noted wryly to
himself.
"For someone who claims to not really believe in magic,"
Miyabi noted, staring intently at him, absently running a hand
through her hair, "you've come up with a remarkably compact and
workable basic theory of how magic works. I'm impressed."
"I didn't think it was that good," he muttered, flushing.
"There's holes a mile wide in it."
"I didn't say it was perfect," she told him, smiling faintly.
She stood suddenly, a commanding aura seeming to become palpable
around her. "We'll run those tests now. Go stand by your suit."
Shrugging, he complied as Miyabi came out from behind her
desk. She assumed a look of total concentration, and raised her
hands. Bert tensed despite himself and tried not to look too
panicked. Miyabi didn't notice and chanted a brief spell under her
breath, pointing at Bert and his suit. There was no visible
reaction, visible to him, at least, and she frowned.
"Nothing," she stated. "It's as if there's nothing there at
all." She folded her arms, scowling at an innocent spot on the
floor as she pondered what to try next. Her green-eyed gaze
suddenly snapped up to pin him to the spot.
"Think about your suit," she directed. "I want you to form a
complete image of it, but don't complete the summoning `process',
if you can help it."
"I'll try," he sighed, spreading his hands helplessly. "I
can't promise anything, though."
"Fair enough," she replied. Bert closed his eyes, and again
formed the mental image of his armoured alter-ego. Miyabi cast the
spell again.
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOMM!!!!!
*****
"AAAAAAAAGH!!" Darlene shrieked, shaking her head groggily as
she staggered drunkenly around the kitchen. Akane grabbed her in
surprise, helping her to stand upright.
"Darlene!! What's wrong?!"
"Don't tell me you didn't hear it?!" the red-headed girl
gasped, shaking her head again to try and clear it.
"I heard a muffled bang," Akane admitted, "but nothing loud
enough to make me scream and stagger around."
"Well it sounded like a gunshot right in my ears to me,"
Darlene declared. A sudden, worried look appeared. "Oh no," she
groaned. "That was the noise that usually accompanies Bert's suit
appearing!" She tore out of the kitchen at top speed and bounded up
the stairs, leaving Akane to follow a little more slowly behind
her. Rounding a corner of the long upstairs hallway, she ran into
the Professor's study.
Professor Miyabi was groggily picking herself up off the floor
from in the middle of a pile of books, but she appeared unharmed.
Darlene ran over to her.
"Professor!!" Darlene panted. "What happened?! Where's Bert?"
Miyabi winced, holding a hand to her forehead.
"Please! One question at a time, and not so loud!" she
requested. She lowered her head to her hands for a moment as
Darlene stared around at the now empty bookshelves. All the books
in the room were now strewn all over the place, but Bert's hardsuit
stood seemingly unaffected in the corner. As she looked around, a
pile of hardcovers near the suit stirred, and a dishevelled-looking
red-haired young man crawled out from under them on his hands and
knees.
"Anybody got some Aspirin?" Bert requested. "My head feels
like it got used as a golf tee."
"You heard the explosion?!" Darlene asked in surprise.
"I was in the middle of it," he corrected dryly, wincing. "The
professor cast some kind of a testing spell, and something didn't
like it."
"There was a tremendous Wild Magic aura that sprang up when
you started concentrating on your suit," Miyabi informed him. "It
reacted adversely to my investigative spell."
"Adversely?!" he repeated incredulously. "You call that just
an `adverse reaction'?! I'd ....Owwww, shit that hurts!" he groaned
suddenly, dropping his head to his arms. "Could I PLEASE get that
Aspirin now?!" he pleaded from between clenched teeth.
"Find the bottle," Miyabi directed Darlene. "I may need the
rest myself before we're through here." The red-headed girl nodded,
and sprinted from the room, just as Akane entered the disaster
zone.
"What happened?!" she asked, staring wide-eyed at the wild
chaos rampant in the room. Miyabi sighed, and stood up, staggering
slightly and placing a hand to her head.
"It's a long story," she sighed. "Let's just say that I'm
going to have to be very careful when investigating Bert and his
suit; the two have become magically linked somehow, and there's a
lot of raw power in the bond. However, it's not evident unless he
concentrates on his suit; if it's not directed at something like
summoning his suit, it seems to create a magical field that
interferes with everything else even slightly magical, hence the
explosion that resulted. It may even stay around after the suit has
been summoned, but I don't know that for sure yet."
"So how come I've got the Boston Pops playing the 1812
overture in my skull?" Bert asked from where he was hunched over on
the floor. "I'm not magic sensitive; I shouldn't have heard a
thing."
"Feedback, I think," the Professor replied, "but I don't know
for sure. Wild magic is just that: wild, uncontrollable, and
unknown. There's no predicting the effects it can have on people."
"Is it possible that Wild Magic interference is why I couldn't
Heal Bert earlier?" Darlene asked, coming in with a large bottle of
painkillers, and two glasses of water on a tray. Miyabi swallowed
a couple of tablets with a swig of water before replying.
"It's possible," she admitted. "Again, I don't know."
"I'm getting so SICK of hearing those words," Bert gritted
from down on the floor.
"Well, do you know anything we don't?" Darlene put in quickly
as the professor's expression turned stony.
"No..."
"Well then?" Darlene waited, tapping her foot impatiently,
holding onto the other glass of water. Bert sighed, and forced
himself to his feet, squinting against the pain in his head. She
herself swallowed five tablets; because of her unusual metabolism
she needed more. Her taking the painkillers reminded him of how
sensitive to the blasts she was, and pointed out that he wasn't
alone in having a headache.
"I'm sorry," he apologized, sighing. "I didn't mean it; it's
just that pain makes me irritable." Darlene handed him some Aspirin
tablets, and he quickly washed them down with a long draught of
water. The professor's expression lightened somewhat.
"Apology accepted," she told him. Sighing, she straightened
out her clothes, brushing the dust off of them. "Now then, enough
of Bert's problem; time to go downstairs and look into Akane's
talents now."
"Are you sure?!" Darlene asked in surprise. "I mean... I...
are you up to it right now, after the explosion and all?" she
stammered as Miyabi turned a cool glance at her protege.
"I'm fine now," she assured the diminutive red-head. "That was
all the testing we were going to do for now anyway." She winced,
rubbing her head again. "It was instructive, if destructive, to say
the least; I've got a lot to consider."
"I hate to seem rude," Bert put in, "but I think I'll go for
a walk and check back with you in a little while. I need some air
after all that." He visibly pulled himself together, squaring his
shoulders and taking a deep breath. Giving a concerned-looking
Darlene and Akane a smile intended to be reassuring, he stepped
past the women, and vanished downstairs. A moment later, they heard
the door bang shut behind him.
"Well," Miyabi said brightly, rubbing her hands together.
"Let's get started, then."
*****
"Why did you just pour hot water over yourself?" Miyabi
inquired curiously. As soon as they had entered her kitchen,
Darlene had rapidly searched cupboards for a glass and had quickly
filled it with hot water to use it to change back to male form.
The three had walked downstairs and Miyabi had led them into
a remarkably normal, if spacious, kitchen. Perhaps not so
remarkable, since visitors not knowing of Miyabi's unusual
profession might want to look around. There were a few out-of-place
items not normally seen in a Japanese kitchen, which reminded
Twister of an aunt's kitchen that, while small, had held quite an
assortment of unusual spices and equipment. Perhaps the professor
had travelled a bit to acquire it all.
"I figure someone has to be magically immune while we do
this..." Twister began, drying his hair with some wind.
"WHAT WAS THAT?!?!?" Akane shouted angrily.
"...and I wanted to get rid of that headache," he finished
calmly, flashing blue for a half-second, then sighing with relief.
"Much better. I'd forgotten I could do this when I was female then
realized a solution was a glass of hot water away."
"Answer my question," Akane demanded.
"Magic can be hazardous, Akane, if you're not sure what's
going to happen." Miyabi nodded, causing Ranma's fiancee to cool
down and even blush a little. "Take Bert for example, and what
happened upstairs. If anything happens here I won't be affected
directly and if you accidentally, say, _animate_ something, I can
hold it off while Miyabi casts a spell to deal with it."
"It sounds like you're _expecting_ trouble, Twister," Miyabi
commented, "which can be a good thing; you never know what might
happen. Now," Miyabi smiled reassuringly to Akane, "do you have
anything you would like to make? I confess I've become quite the
chocolaholic so if you wish to make a dessert there's lots of
chocolate for you."
Twister's eyes brightened. "Any chocolate chips?"
"Yes, why?"
"I knew the recipe for chocolate chip cookies off by heart
even before my encounter with the Event." He grinned and turned to
the would-be mage. "If you want, Akane, I'll show you how. It's an
easy, but good one. I'll tell you as you go as I have to do it by
memory," Twister offered. And I'll make sure you don't mess it
up... He felt faintly guilty at the thought but it was important to
find out if Akane really was a magic-user cook.
Akane, on the other hand, was debating his offer. If I can
really do magical cooking, I'll be able to finally prove that I can
offer something to Ranma besides the dojo, and maybe... Visions of
Akane laughing at Ranma's other fiancees as she grandly waved a
hand appeared; Shampoo gains a collar that is attached to a chain
Mousse is holding and makes starry eyes at the happy Mousse; Ukyou
forgets all about marrying Ranma and becomes a good friend and ally
to Akane; Kodachi is transforms into a black rose bush that has her
laughing face on every flower. Ranma enters her vision as a girl
and Akane waves again; he turns permanently male and leaps into her
loving embrace, kissing her passionately.
"Ah, Akane? Hello?"
Twister's voice disrupted her daydreaming. Startled, Akane
looked up at his face; one eyebrow was arched in amusement as if he
had guessed what she had been thinking. He doesn't have to guess,
she realized. Even if he doesn't use that mind power of his, and I
know he won't, he knows me and my problems well enough to _know_.
She blushed furiously, then turned determined. And it's not like
any of the others haven't tried often enough to do the same to ME.
"Yes, I'd like that a lot," she answered finally.
"Good," Miyabi said. "Before you begin, as you are a beginner,
I want to tell you to visualize your cookies turning, hm, let's
make it green as I am told the last dish you made was that color."
Her voice turned stern. "And _try_ not to think of anything else.
When you have successfully completed the cookies what you have
visualized _should_ be the result."
"Thank God we're not making Devil's food cake then," Twister
quipped.
Miyabi paled a little. "That is not even remotely funny,
Twister, even though you do raise a point for caution."
"You like Angel's food cake better?" The narrow look he got
from the professor told him he'd better stop. He sighed. "Oh, well.
Better put an apron on, Akane, let's get you cooking."
"Right!" She found an apron and tied it firmly behind her.
"What do I do first?"
"Let's get out all the ingredients we need..." he started, and
they were off.
It was fortunate that Twister watched Akane with hawk-like
vigilance; she constantly tried to mess things up for some bizarre
reason. He didn't know what was wrong with her; even when he told
her not to include the _shell_ of the first egg, she tried to do it
again for the second. Things got weirder when Akane tried to beat
the eggs.
"Akane! You don't use a _hammer_!"
"But it works on Ranma!"
"Argh. You're missing the point. You do it like _this_." He
demonstrated, using the proper utensil.
"Ohhh!! But why did you tell me to beat them then?"
And so on...
When the first batch of cookies were ready to come out, Akane
anxiously waited for Twister to take them out of the oven. After
all he had prevented her from doing he didn't trust her near the
oven and Miyabi quickly agreed that it wasn't necessary for Akane
to do.
She also wanted her kitchen intact.
The psionist opened the oven using his TK and carefully took
the tray full of hot cookies out and placed them on top.
He took a sniff. "Hey, not bad! They smell great, Akane."
"Really??" The aroma reached her. "They do! Oh, thank you,
Twister!" She hugged him tightly, in relief that they had turned
out okay and for his help.
"You're welcome," he gasped; she had a strong grip. "Can I
breathe now?" Twister was released by a grinning Akane.
Miyabi, however, was frowning. "Yes, they look _normal_, don't
they? Perhaps you should cool them off, Twister, to see if anything
happens."
"Roger." He concentrated and the tray plus cookies cooled down
instantly. Now they could be picked up and carefully Twister did so
with one cookie. "I see what you mean; it's not green." He wandered
over to the window to look more closely at the cookie.
"Did you visualize your cookies turning green all the time
like I asked?" Miyabi demanded of Akane, who was happy the cookies
had turned out okay, but slightly disappointed that the magic
hadn't worked. Then she remembered something, and blushed a little.
"Well, not _all_ the time. My mind wandered...once." she
admitted.
"What did you..." Miyabi began.
BBOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!
Twister flew backwards as the blast's sound roared through the
kitchen to the accompaniment of shattering glass. Miyabi and Akane
fell to the floor from the force of the explosion as Twister hit
the opposite wall of the kitchen where a person-height cupboard was
and smashed into it. The contents of the shattered shelving
scattered everywhere, mostly onto his unconscious form.
Miyabi cautiously picked herself up off the floor as the dust
settled. "What is it with me and explosions today?" she muttered,
exasperated. Noticing the wide-eyed Akane, who was looking around
the messed-up kitchen with surprise, she rather dryly said, "I
guess I don't need to ask you what you were thinking up that _one_
time."
Akane lowered her head, ashamed. "I'm sorry." Her head snapped
back up when she and the professor heard a groan.
"Twister!!" they chorused, and rushed to check on the one who
had faced the detonation point-blank. They found that he was
partially embedded in the cupboard that he had crashed into. He
seemed okay and was only, understandably, dazed.
"Anybody got the license number of that cookie?" he woozily
said as the other two pulled him out carefully, and pulled him
upright. Twister shook his head and winced at the new headache. He
Healed himself and felt much better. "Now THAT was a surprise
filling!" he managed to joke.
"What did you do?"
"I thought that maybe something inside the cookie would show
me something so I broke it in half. It showed me something all
right," he said ruefully. "How to fly involuntarily."
"Oh, I'm sorry, Twister. I shouldn't have let my mind wander."
Akane was gripping her hands together, tears beginning to fill her
eyes.
Miyabi sighed and shook her head. "You're just beginning,
Akane. Though this was a rather ... unique accident." She chuckled.
"Exploding chocolate chip cookies indeed. Something new every day."
"That's Akane for you, violence in everything she touches,"
Twister grinned in a Ranma-like manner.
"HEY!!" Akane had her hammerspace-mallet raised above her head
before she realized it. Her target, however, had vanished.
"That's better." Twister said, now standing over by the
remaining cookie dough by means of teleportation. Akane lowered her
hammer, realizing that he had insulted her on purpose. "You
shouldn't get depressed; it was just an accident, Akane. You'll
improve." He studied the dough warily. "I wonder if it required
cooking or if it's just much less sensitive in this state. Maybe I
should experiment..."
"You can take it with you. I'll dispose of the baked cookies,"
Miyabi firmly stated; she wanted no more explosions in her house
today. "As for you, Akane, I think this demonstrated, however done,
that you _are_ a cooking magic-user. Therefore, if you _do_ wish to
practice have either I or Twister around when you do so. There are
worse things than explosions," she cautioned, and was satisfied at
Akane's careful nod; the girl appeared to have more respect for
magic now. She did make one surprising request.
"Could I take the unbaked dough?" Akane asked innocently.
Miyabi blinked. "If you wish, but whatever for?"
"Oh, I just want to see if they're all as powerful as the one
Twister blew up," Akane grinned.
Twister lifted his head to look at Akane with a surprised and
slightly suspicious expression.
Uh oh, he thought. What's she up to?
*****
Bert walked aimlessly all over the campus, his mind shifted
into neutral. Walking around looking at the scenery was oddly
relaxing, and he realized that he wasn't as upset at his recent
proximity to magical phenomena as he'd been in the past.
"Must be getting used to it," he muttered to himself, shaking
his head bemusedly. He wandered on, glancing briefly at the sky,
where the sun was slowly setting in rosy splendour.
"Well, hello there," a seductive, well-remembered voice purred
off to his left. Spinning towards the voice, he saw the attractive,
black-haired young woman he'd rescued earlier coming towards him
from a large building nearby. Natsumi had a couple of books in her
arms, which indicated she'd just been in the library.
"Uhm, er, ah, hi," he stammered, flushing uncontrollably as
she came up to him. "Natsumi, right?" Her alluring smile warmed up
a few more degrees, and Bert began to feel trapped.
"That's right, my heroic knight-in-shining-armour," she
breathed, looping her left arm through his right as if it was the
most natural thing in the world. "Would you like to walk me home?"
she asked, gazing innocently up at him with her brown eyes.
"Uhh, well, you see..."
"You wouldn't let a poor, defenceless, young lady walk home
alone, now, would you?" she asked, a slight pout appearing. Bert's
miserable defenses crumbled under the onslaught.
"No," he sighed, mentally wishing his chivalry would bugger
off so he could just run away before he got himself into any more
trouble. "I'd be, ah, honoured to escort you home."
"Thank you," she replied, leaning into him as they started
walking, still holding onto his arm. Bert tried desperately to
control the feelings she was stirring in him. Her proximity alone
was enough to start him sweating; having her... body... pressing
against him was unnerving him completely. He felt like he was being
set up for something, and he had a sudden feeling that it wasn't
going to be an easy night.
*****
They arrived at the apartment building complex where Natsumi
was living just as dusk was settling over the city, sending inky
tendrils of darkness through the air. It had been what felt like
the longest walk of his life to Bert; he'd tried walking fairly
briskly, but the black-haired girl clinging possessively to his arm
had protested that she couldn't walk that fast, and he'd been
forced to slow down. He didn't believe for a second that she
couldn't walk faster; she was using every available opportunity to
bump into him or move closer.
She hadn't said too much during their walk, either, which was
a good thing. She was unsettling him so much, he didn't think he'd
be able to put together a coherent sentence at the moment. He
wasn't about to try initiating a conversation either; he didn't
know just how much she knew about Twister, and didn't want to
reveal anything that might prove awkward or dangerous, although the
last item was the least likely of any of the possible outcomes.
Natsumi didn't appear to mind his silence; she was content to walk
along next to him, every so often giving him a lazily seductive
glance that turned his mouth dry.
At long last, they came to the front door of the building.
Bert took a deep breath, feeling like a condemned man given a stay
of execution as he saw the end to his ordeal appear. The stay of
execution was suddenly whipped out from under his feet.
"Would you like to escort me up to my apartment for a minute?"
Natsumi asked, coyly fluttering her eyes at him. Bert's mind raced
frantically, but he couldn't come up with a polite way of saying no
that wouldn't make him look rude.
"Uh, sure. No problem," he managed to get out, mentally
swearing at himself the entire time. He held the door open for her;
she smiled winsomely at him and walked through. He swallowed,
trying to relax, and followed her in.
After a short elevator ride, and an even shorter walk, they
stood outside the door to her apartment. Natsumi turned towards
him, and he braced himself.
"Thank you very much, my heroic knight," she told him, moving
closer to him. "I felt very safe during our little stroll
together." Bert valiantly resisted the urge to retreat from her.
"Uh, my pleasure," he told her, flushing. "I enjoyed it," he
said, before he could think to stop himself. At the same time, he
also realized that he HAD enjoyed it, in the back of his mind. What
the hell was the matter with him?! He was in love with Nene! He
couldn't.... couldn't..... His thoughts scattered like feathers in
a gale as Natsumi's smile became very, very seductive, and she
stepped right up to him, putting her arms around his neck, pressing
her shapely body tightly against him.
"I enjoyed it too," she breathed. She pulled his head down,
then gave him a very passionate kiss. Her lips felt warm and soft
on his, and.... and.... Bert gasped for air as she pulled back, and
started backing off like he might retreat from a homicidal boomer
when unarmoured.
"I'm, uh, glad you , uhm, er, ah enjoyed it," he stammered.
"Maybe we'll...I'll, uhm, see you around sometime?!" He didn't wait
for a reply, but bolted frantically back down the hallway as if
fleeing from rabid animals. Natsumi watched him go, sweeping her
black hair back over her shoulders, a slightly smug smile appearing
on her lovely features.
"Oh, don't worry; we'll meet again, my knight," she sighed.
She could see she was going to have to work on him a bit.
*****
"Do you think he got lost?" Akane asked Twister as they walked
quickly along the sidewalk. Twister shrugged helplessly.
"He shouldn't have," he replied, glancing around again. There
was no sign of their red-headed friend anywhere. "The university
isn't that big a place, and he has been around enough to be able to
figure out how to get around." He glanced at the small paper bag
Akane was carrying very carefully; proximity to cookie dough that
made a good substitute for C-4 plastic explosive was making him
nervous, and that was something he'd never thought he'd have said
about chocolate chip cookies. He wasn't sure he wanted to find out
what Akane had planned for it.
"Could he have run into Kunou or Kodachi again?"
"I don't think so. If that had happened, his suit would have
vanished from the professor's house. It was still there, so he's
obviously safe, wherever he's gone to. We'll look around a bit
more. If we can't find him, then I'll teleport us back to the dojo.
Maybe we'll run into him before long." As it turned out, he wasn't
too far from the truth.
As the two friends rounded a corner, desperately running
footsteps could be heard. It sounded like someone fleeing a pack of
hungry predators. A high-speed blue blur shot out of the darkness
ahead, resolving into a blue tracksuited Bert, running hard. He saw
the two of them at the last second, and tried to put on the brakes,
failing miserably.
"OOOOFFFF!!" Twister's breath deserted him instantly as the
full inertia of Bert's movement smashed into him. He was smashed
over backwards, and they both toppled over onto the pavement in a
wildly flailing tangle of arms and legs.
Twister found himself, after the world stopped spinning, flat
on his back, a lump rising on his forehead, and some very sore
bruises complaining from other parts of his anatomy. A groan from
nearby indicated that Bert was also not in great shape. From his
vantage point, Twister could see a horrified Akane staring at the
two prone young men.
Concentrating for a moment, Twister Healed himself, and sat
up, looking over at the very feebly moving Bert. Sighing, he stood,
and helped the battered red-head to his feet. Bert acknowledged the
help with a brief nod, then sagged against a nearby lamppost,
clutching at his right shoulder, which appeared to have taken the
brunt of the impact.
"We've got to stop meeting like this," Twister observed dryly,
looking his friend over. "What was the emergency?"
"I thought... I should hurry or I'd be late," Bert replied,
still faintly winded from running and the collision.
The psionist looked skeptical. "Uh huh. You were, and what
were you doing that made you so late?" The panic that flickered
across Bert's face for an instant before the red-head checked his
expression made Twister raise his eyebrows in surprise. "Bert? What
the heck happened?" he said, concern in his voice.
Bert groaned and rubbed his face with his hands. "There's some
girl called Natsumi I, uh, met, and I think she's trying to seduce
me."
"Natsumi?!?" Twister shouted in surprise. "Why...?! Oh boy,"
he added with even more concern as he remembered how the female
magic user went after someone she WANTED. "You're in trouble. What
did you do to attract HER notice?"
"You know her?" the tall Knight Saber asked, then hit his
forehead as he recalled something. "Oh yeah, that's right! Miyabi
mentioned that she was after you too."
"Not anymore it seems," the brown-haired young man replied.
Bert saw that the fact did not bother Twister very much, and
grimaced at the meaning of that reaction. "Still, I can be friends
with her; she IS a basically decent person and I like her now. I
just hope she doesn't revert back to the way she was before.
Natsumi used to be pretty ruthless when she's after something or
someone, but now she's not so bad."
"You sure as hell could've fooled ME!" Bert shot back. The
other sighed.
"Look, let's go back to the dojo and talk about this there,"
he suggested.
Waving his hands in the air, the red-head agreed
whole-heartedly. "Fine. Great. Let's just get going!" Seeing
Twister's sudden grin, Bert's eyes widened in panic.
"Waitaminute!!! Don't..."
They vanished and reappeared in Twister's old room that was
now serving as Bert's.
"...teleport and why do I bother?" he finished disgustedly,
fuming. "Damn it, you KNOW I don't like that!!"
"I don't know why you don't, Bert," Akane said, honestly
puzzled as she opened the door. "Nothing happens and it's quick."
"It's the principle of the thing. You shouldn't break the laws
of physics like that!" Bert vehemently retorted. Akane just shook
her head, and left.
"Be careful with that cookie dough!" Twister called out,
sighing when he heard Akane's protest that she wasn't clumsy. "I
just hope it doesn't go off."
" `Go off'? " Bert wasn't sure if he had heard correctly, and
looked at Twister inquiringly.
"Imagine hand grenades baked to a golden brown that taste
great; that's the kind of cookie Akane made. What a waste of
chocolate chips," he sighed, then chuckled at Bert's disbelieving
stare. "It's magic," he obliquely added.
Bert walked to the futon and flopped onto the cover, grabbing
a nearby pillow and wrapping it around his head, like he was trying
to shut everything off. "Can't I escape from that insanity?" he
mumbled into the pillow, sighing deeply. "This is worse than trying
to figure out what the government is up to."
Thoughtfully, Twister studied the prone form of the hapless
person he had accidentally dragged into this universe. Slowly, he
sat cross-legged near the futon and fell silent. After a minute of
this behaviour, Bert peered out from under the pillow, curious.
"What are you doing?" he queried.
"Thinking."
"About?" Bert prompted.
"Feathers."
"Feathers??" Bert stared incredulously at him. "Why are you
thinking about feathers??"
"Wood."
Bert shook his head. "And just what does wood have to do with
feathers?"
"The reason for life," Twister calmly replied.
"You're joking."
The psionist grinned. "Actually, yes, I am."
Suppressing the sudden impulse to hit the young man sitting in
front of him, Bert grated out, "And would you mind enlightening me
as to just what was the purpose of that?!" It might have been the
light, but for a moment Twister thought he saw sparks flash in
Bert's eyes. Purple sparks.
Twister sighed. "Bert, you should take advantage of your
situation and not mope about it." The derisive snort from the
red-head made him elaborate. "Look, you're not in the universe you
want to be in, but being OUTSIDE of it gives you time! I mean it!
You can think about all the troubles you have there without
worrying that you'll get distracted by them all; even with the
short version of events you told everyone here, I can tell you have
a lot of worries." He held up a hand to prevent Bert interrupting.
"I'm not saying you should stay for a long time, but you have an
advantage here your enemies don't. Use it. Relax! Until I find a
way to send you back you'll have lots of time." Twister grinned
suddenly. "If you don't exploit this opportunity, I'll keep
teleporting you over the Tendo pool until you grow gills," he
threatened.
Bert snorted, though he was unsure whether or not the
brown-haired young man seriously meant it or not. "Forced
relaxation?" he observed sarcastically.
"If you want to call it that," Twister calmly answered him,
sighing. "Mega-Tokyo is a lot more grim than this universe. You
definitely NEED to unwind. Here you can, but you need to want to
unwind and until you do..." Twister shrugged helplessly. "Just stop
moping about and being useless."
THAT got Bert's fires going. "I am NOT useless!" he snapped,
making as if to rise.
"Right. Just dimensionally impaired then," Twister shot back.
"Will you at least try?"
"Okay, okay! I get the picture!" Bert sank disgustedly back
down.
"I'm SO glad."
"All-RIGHT already! I said I got it!" SkyKnight glared darkly
at the psionist. "You've definitely been around Nabiki too long."
"And Priss, and Sylia, and Linna, and Nene," Twister added
helpfully, reminding Bert that Twister knew the Knight Sabers as
well as he. In different ways, perhaps, but he still knew them.
"But now that I've got that out of the way, I'd like you to help me
with something."
"Oh?" Bert sat up on the bed, interested in what Twister
wanted, although he was a little surprised; he hadn't thought
there'd be anything around here he could help with. "And that would
be...?" he asked, narrowing his eyes suspiciously as a sudden
thought seized him.
"Nothing to do with magic," Twister reassured him, and the
red-head visibly relaxed. "It's my psionic powers."
Bert blinked. "What do you need my help with that for?"
"Well... I hate blinking like a flash bulb whenever I Heal
myself and I was wondering whether you had any ideas on how I could
stop doing that. I also want to try using telekinesis on energy,
not matter, and I could use help devising and implementing tests.
In addition, I plan to make a small optical computer and you're
free to use it whenever you want you when I finish it. It won't
take long," Twister assured him, in fact he had already started but
he did not mention that little fact. "What do you think?"
The red-headed Knight Saber pondered these options, but the
one that had gotten his attention was the computer Twister had
mentioned. The psionist had mentioned building some type of
light-based computer before, and Bert knew that such a computer
would be much faster than normal computers, more powerful if large
enough. A computer WOULD be nice; he could use it to try out some
of his ideas in simulations. The problem with that idea was that he
had a full set of algorithms and programs back home, but nothing
here. Maybe he could improve the programs and make some new ones...
"Ah... That computer..." Bert said, musing. "What kind of
programs are you going to put on it?"
Twister's response was more than satisfying. "Considering that
the Bubblegum Crisis universe was more advanced in programming, I
should be making an operating system similar to what you've been
using in your own BGC so that's not a problem. And I have to
mention that Nene taught me quite a few things in the realm of
hacking, after that I went out into the system and learned a lot
more, even made up a few new tricks. As for hardsuit design...."
Twister looked thoughtfully at Bert. "I never really tried my hand
at that, perhaps I should have, but I do know all the specs and
programs Sylia used. I... ah... peeked in once and a perfect memory
helps a LOT. They might be slightly different than your universe,
heck it sounds like your BGC universe is even more of an arms race
than mine so they'll likely be less powerful. But I think I can
tweak them to your standards."
"I really appreciate the `arms race' description," Bert said
rather sourly.
Twister's face was apologetic as he shrugged. "Sorry, but it
does sound like it."
"I suppose," Bert sighed heavily, reluctantly agreeing with
the assessment, mentally castigating himself for having been a
contributing factor, even though there'd been no way around it. "So
when do you plan to start..."
"HEY!!" Akane's shout drowned out the rest of Bert's sentence.
"GIVE BACK THOSE COOKIES!!!"
Twister and Bert started, then both exclaimed, "Oh, SHIT!!"
They rushed out the door and downstairs, but they were too late.
Akane, and whomever had stolen her cookies, were gone.
"Oh perfect," Twister groaned. "Just perfect. Where did they
go, and WHO went?"
Kasumi came out from the kitchen, and looked around. "Oh, my.
Was that Akane and Ranma?"
Twister raised his eyes to the heavens mouthing "Why?" while
Bert rounded on Kasumi. "Was it only them who left?"
Kasumi cocked her head, considering. "Well... I thought I
heard Master Happousai a few moments ago; he might have left as
well."
"This gets better and better by the minute," Twister said, a
hint of resignation in his voice. "We'd better find them, and fast.
Those cookies are DEFINITELY not to be fooled around with, much
less eaten. Shoot," he added, and his brows furrowed with extra
worry, "we'd better find them REAL fast."
"Why?" Bert asked. "What else are you worrying about?"
"If Ranma, Happousai, and Akane are running around town..."
Twister hesitated, then went on, "...then they'll start attracting
the others."
" `Others'?"
"Shampoo, Mousse, Kodachi, Ukyou, not Kunou since he's at the
University...hopefully, Ryouga..."
"All right! All right! I get the point! Let's go then." Bert
looked at the psionist thoughtfully. "You've seen this before, I
gather."
Twister shook his head, sighing. "Too many times. Let's move."
As they left, running, Twister muttered, "I hope things don't get
TOO crazy."

Part Four - COOKIE CHAOS! HAPPOUSAI'S ULTIMATE TECHNIQUE COUNTERED?
-------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hee hee! Come and get me!" Happousai chortled as he bounced
down one of the streets of Nerima. He held a box in one hand and
several assorted pieces of ladies undergarments in the other. The
box held many delicious-looking cookies within that Happousai
couldn't wait to try, but Akane-chan and Ranma were chasing him
because of the thef...ahem, acquisition of said cookies. He'd seen
the delectable-looking edibles before the box had been closed, so
he knew Akane hadn't made them, meaning they were therefore edible;
even Happousai was leery of Akane's idea of home-baked food.
"Come back here!" Akane shouted angrily, running to keep up
with the old Master.
"Yeah! Give them back, y'old goat!" Ranma echoed beside Akane,
keeping pace with her.
"Why did he have to take MY cookies?" Akane loudly grumbled.
Ranma stumbled hearing that, but quickly caught back up with Akane,
a slightly uncertain look on his face.
"Did YOU make those cookies? I thought Kasumi did."
"Yes, I did! Why?!" Akane narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Are
you going to insult my cooking again?"
"No, no!" In a panic not to get clobbered, Ranma waved both
hands denying it, and Akane settled down, slightly mollified. "I
saw them too. They looked great." Akane was actually starting to
look pleased: it didn't last long. "Who helped you?"
"What do you mean `Who helped you'?!"
"Aw, c'mon, Akane. I haven't seen you practicing or anything
so you have to have been somewhere else, right? It just figures."
Akane blinked; Ranma was actually making sense. For once.
"Actually, Twister did help me over at his magic teacher's house,"
she confessed.
Ranma almost stumbled again when she said that. "Magic? Why
were you there?" he said, some measure of dread arising from within
as some instinct told him he was going to hear something very, very
bad.
"None of your business, Ranma!" Akane flared, not wanting him
to find out about her magical talents yet.
"But there's nothing WRONG with them... right?" he pressed.
This time it was Akane who was hesitant when she replied,
"Well...theydokindaexplode," she said quickly.
"What?" Ranma said, having not caught the rapid-fire reply.
"Never mind! Let's just get the cookies back!" Akane said.
Still, she paled a little when she thought of all those cookies
going off at the same time. Just one had knocked Twister
unconscious; all together they might...
Maybe keeping the dough and making more cookies hadn't been
such a good idea, after all.
*****
Ahead of the pursued and pursuers, a familiar bandanna-wearing
person drudged down the street. Amazingly, given this particular
being's directional sense, or rather lack of such, he was facing
the direction of the oncoming Happousai. Seeing the old hentai, and
his beloved Akane angrily chasing the old man, he could do only one
thing.
Happousai never saw the fist rocketing towards him until it
was 0.0005th of an inch away from his face, a little late for him
to block unless the fist has a panty, which this one did not.
"Awk!" was all he got out as he momentarily hung from Ryouga's
powerful fist, still holding the box of cookies high in one hand.
"How dare you steal from Akane!" the fanged young man angrily
shouted at the dazed Happousai. With his free hand he swiftly
plucked the box from the old man's hand before the aged hentai slid
to the ground. Ranma and Akane finally arrived then.
"Ryouga!" Akane exclaimed, happy to see Ranma's friend and at
the recovery of the cookies.
"A-A-Akane!" Ryouga stammered as Ranma, disgusted, looked on.
"A-Are these YOURS?" He smiled foolishly as he held up the
purloined box.
"Yes." Relieved, Akane held a hand to her chest and sighed.
"So," Ranma strolled over, smirking. "You finally found your
way back, P-chan?" He dodged a furious Ryouga's swipe.
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" the bandanna'd martial artist bellowed.
The box wobbled in his hand and Akane paled.
"Um...could you give me back my cookies, Ryouga?" she asked
carefully.
"C-Certainly!" Using both hands, he stiffly extended the box
towards Akane, in such a jerky way that the lid popped up, making
Akane flinch back a little.
Then Ranma noticed something. "Hey, where'd the old man go
to?" he said, scanning the ground where Happousai had landed.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!"
All three looked up to see the old Master standing on a
rooftop and smiling evilly at them. "If those cookies can't be
mine, then perhaps I should use my ultimate technique!" he cried
gleefully and whipped out one of his firecracker-bombs proudly,
fuse burning.
"Oh, shit!" Ranma shouted, and grabbed at the nearest
available object for something to knock the bomb out of the old
man's hand.
So he grabbed one of Akane's circular cookies.
And threw it.
Time slowed down before Akane's horrified eyes. The cookie
rotated in the air as it flew towards the bomb. Happousai, seeing
the tasty-looking treat heading his way, shifted so that his mouth
was wide open and ready to receive it. Akane's eyes widened even
more when she realized what he was planning to do. Her shouted
"No!" was slow, and she knew it was too late even as she yelled.
The deadly cookie came closer and closer and....
There was a gleaming flash that shot through the air and
suddenly a huge explosion erupted a hand's span from Happousai's
face, tossing him off the roof. There was a second explosion from
behind the house as the bomb he'd held went off as well. Akane was
surprised and relieved, while Ranma and Ryouga were slack-jawed.
"Wa-Was that your cookie, Akane?" Ranma asked, casting a
nervous glance at the box a suddenly pale Ryouga held. Akane was
about to answer him when someone else beat her to the punch.
"Whoa! Twister wasn't kidding about those cookies, was he?"
Ukyou said as she came up to the trio. Her giant-size spatula was
strapped to her back, as always, and her bandoleer of throwing
spatulas was across her front. One of them was missing, having been
used to detonate the thrown cookie before it met with Happousai's
attempt to eat it. "That was close. Though I wonder if I really
should have done it. Oh, well." She shrugged.
"How did Twister get you to come, Uk-chan?" Ranma asked his
childhood friend.
Ukyou gave the cookies, which Ryouga was still holding
nervously, a quick glance before giving Ranma a beaming smile. "Oh,
he and some tall red-headed guy he called `Bert' ran into my
restaurant a little while ago. Twister told me that the cookies
were dangerously explosive, although I was a little skeptical at
the time about that, and that you and Akane might cause them to
explode while chasing the old lecher. He said he needed more people
looking, so of course I agreed and went in another direction. Lucky
I found you first, huh, Ran-chan?" She edged closer to Ranma with
a smile.
No one saw a new arrival land on the other side of a roof,
listing intently.
"You bet!" Ranma heartily agreed, not seeing Akane sizzling at
his comment. "What should we do with Akane's cookies anyway? Can't
have Ryouga hold them forever." He smirked at the white-faced
Ryouga, who could only give him a quick glare for fear of dropping
the explosive package he held.
"Akane Tendo's cookies?" The hidden figure said quietly, then
fingered a pole with a ribbon attached to it.
"So, Akane..." Ukyou smirked at the youngest Tendo sister.
"Just what did you use to make THIS batch?" she said with the hint
of smugness of someone who knows their cooking skills are far
better than the other evident in her voice.
Akane flushed slightly. "That's my business!" she angrily
retorted. "I..."
A ribbon snapped down from nowhere and wrapped itself around
the box, closing the lid in the process. Before the startled four
could react, the box was yanked from Ryouga's hands and flew up,
up, and into female hands. A female who was wearing a black leotard
with the design of a rose pattern on the front.
Black Rose Kodachi laughed triumphantly. "Hohohohohoho! Your
cookies are mine once again, Akane Tendo!" She had stolen cookies
made by Akane before in the hopes that Ranma would come for them;
it had worked that time and she thought it could work again. "Come
and get them , Ranma-dearest!" she said coyly, and then started
bounding away.
"Hey, wait!" Ranma shouted before jumping up to the rooftop
and pursuing Kodachi, Akane and Ukyou close behind and Ryouga not
long after them. "Kodachi! Stop!"
"Crazy idiot!" Ukyou shouted at the gymnast, but Kodachi was
too far away to hear. "You'll get yourself blown up!"
Akane said nothing, but she was wishing she had let Professor
Miyabi dispose of the cookies after all. She had been so SURE that
she could handle them with no problem. Happousai had quickly proven
her wrong, and now things were getting more and more complicated.
Ryouga followed the frantic group, wanting to make sure that
nothing happened to Akane and, if necessary, protect her with his
life if need be.
And so the chase was on once more.
*****
"Wait! Whoa! Time out!" Bert panted breathlessly, and Twister
reluctantly slowed down. "We're not getting anywhere," he gasped,
trying to get his breath back. Actually, he'd lasted much longer
than he had thought he could, a positive effect of his changes, at
last, he sourly thought to himself.
Twister had to nod. Bert noted with a faint twinge of envy
that the other wasn't even breathing hard. "You're right. It'd be
easier from the rooftops, but..." he hesitated.
"But I'm slowing you down, right?" Twister's embarrassed look
made Bert growl, "It's not MY fault I'm not a bloody leapfrog. I
fly, not jump!" He paused. Bert was sure Twister's look of
realization was echoed on his own face. He slapped his forehead,
disgusted with himself.
"Oh bloody hell, I should've thought of that sooner."
"This isn't Mega-Tokyo; there aren't many flying hardsuits
about to remind you," Twister said helpfully. "And a hardsuit WOULD
be noticeable."
"In THIS town??"
Twister paused, then smirked wryly. "I guess I have to agree
with you on that."
"All right then," Bert suddenly developed a wide, crooked
grin, and Twister, for some reason, developed a sinking feeling in
his stomach. The tall red-head stepped back a pace and spread his
arms; an instant later, a purple glow erupted, racing over him,
enveloping him from head to toe in a glowing nimbus of light. A
second later, the light died, leaving the familiar, silver-and-blue
armoured form of SkyKnight.
"You know, I could almost get to like that," Bert's modulated
voice said. The silver suit flexed its arms a couple of times, and
shifted around, settling the armour on more comfortably. Short
wings snapped out on the battlesuit's shoulderblades, and a low hum
throbbed through the air.
"And now," SkyKnight declared, a grin evident from the sound
of his voice, "Up! Up! And Awaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy!!!!" The silver
hardsuit shot skywards with a roar, flipping around in midair a
couple of times, then arrowed away over the city. Twister was
almost positive he could hear `Off we go, into the wild blue
yonder!' coming from the silver Knight Saber, and he suddenly
wondered if things had just improved, or gotten worse. Shrugging to
himself, he sprang into the air and started bounding across the
rooftops.
He could've flown too, but there were two reasons why he did
not. The first was that he might miss something if he went up high
until it was too late. The second was that he still did not like
heights that much. There were a few times in Mega-Tokyo when he had
to, but more pressing things had been on his mind then.
Sighing, he continued searching.
*****
"But, Shampoo! Why won't you go out with me?" Mousse pleaded,
quickly walking behind his beloved as she rode her bike.
"Shampoo busy," the purple-haired amazon haughtily replied.
"Have to find husband say great-grandmother."
"HOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!" a cackling voice cried as a familiar,
leotard-clad figure bounced across the street ahead of them.
Shampoo braked immediately in puzzlement and Mousse came up to
stand beside her.
"Was that Kodachi I heard?" Mousse wondered, adjusting his
glasses.
"Come back with my cookies!" Akane shouted as she appeared,
obviously in pursuit of the nutty gymnast. Quickly vanishing, she
left behind confused looks on Shampoo and Mousse's faces.
But then Ranma came, close on the heels of Akane. "Hey, wait
up, Akane!" he shouted, then vanished like the Tendo sister.
Surprisingly, Shampoo instantly made a 180 degree turn after seeing
Ranma and tore off down the road. This caught Mousse off-guard.
"Shampoo? Where are you going?" He knew better than to think
she was running away from Ranma. Therefore, when he saw Ukyou and
Ryouga in the chase he decided to silently follow, knowing that he
would have a better chance of catching up with his love.
As he started running, he wondered what was going on.
*****
Looking behind, Kodachi saw that her Ranma-sama was still
following, but so was the hateful Akane Tendo. "Come, my beloved!
Come after me!" she laughed aloud, going down to street level.
Suddenly, a tire loomed in front of her and landed on her, along
with the bike it was attached to. "Awk!" she managed as she was
flattened to the pavement.
Said bike's amazon rider smiled wickedly; the short cut she
had taken had got her ahead just in time. "Aiya! Should not get in
Shampoo's way, crazy girl. Shampoo now take bad girl's cookies."
She snatched up the box of cookies in Kodachi's twitching hand
"Now," she said musingly, "what Shampoo do with violent tomboy's
cookies?"
"YAAAAAAAAA!!!!" Akane descended from the rooftop and landed
on the ground. "Shampoo! Please! Give me back my cookies. They're
dangerous!"
The amazon smiled wickedly. "If Akane make, then Shampoo have
no doubt of that!"
Akane glowered at the smirking girl. "That's NOT what I
meant!" she snapped. Ranma arrived then, landing beside her.
"Shampoo!" Ranma grinned in relief. "You got the box away from
Kodachi! Great!"
"Ranma!" Shampoo cried and flew off her bike to rush her love,
box in hand. She skidded to a halt when all color fled from the
other two's faces. "What wrong?" she said uncertainly, wondering at
their reactions.
Then Ukyou and Ryouga arrived, Mousse hid for the moment. "Oh,
great! You got the exploding cookies away from the nut!" Ukyou
said, relieved. "Now what do we do with them?"
"Explode... cookies?" Shampoo slowly said, starting to figure
out what was going on. Curiously, she opened the box and plucked a
cookie out to examine it. "Look normal to Shampoo," she commented,
and before anyone could react, tossed it down the street with
Amazonian strength.
BOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!
The explosion surprised Shampoo considerably as it made a
crater in the street. "What know," she said wonderingly, "Violent
tomboy's cooking just as violent as tomboy!"
"WHAT WAS THAT?!?" Akane shouted, face red with anger.
However, she calmed down quickly when she saw Shampoo's face; the
amazon was smiling, and it was not a nice smile.
And then she plucked another cookie from the box.
"Uh, Shampoo... What are you doing?" Ranma nervously asked. He
was answered when Shampoo threw the cookie straight at Akane.
"Look out!" Ranma tackled Akane to the ground while Ryouga did
the same with Ukyou. The explosive projectile flew overhead and
blew up against the building's wall behind them, punching a hole in
the bricks.
"You okay?" Ryouga queried Ukyou, and got a whap on the head.
"I CAN take care of myself, Ryouga," she retorted tartly,
shoving him off of her.
"Then you'd better start now!" he told her, eyes wide at an
incoming cookie missile. Both jumped out of the way in time, as the
cookie detonated where they had been before.
Meanwhile, where they had landed Ranma was asking Akane, "Are
you all right?"
"No! She's using my own cookies to try to kill me! How would
you feel?!" Akane angrily retorted. She was surprised when Ranma
scooped her up and leaped, but knew why when an explosion occurred
where they had been moments before.
Shampoo was enjoying herself immensely as she started tossing
cookies at Akane, Ukyou, and Ryouga, making the surrounding area
look like a war zone. Akane was hard to hit because Ranma was
holding her, but if an explosion got them apart... And the
delicious irony was that the cookies were the violent tomboy's!
*****
In the clear sunny skies above Nerima, a shining hardsuit
banked around as the sounds of shattering explosions sent clouds of
smoke pouring into the air, like smoke signals.
"Uh oh," Bert muttered, as he noted the commotion. "Looks like
the party's begun already."
Jets roaring, SkyKnight headed for the melee below.
*****
Shampoo was startled when a ribbon came out of nowhere and
snatched the box of volatile cooking out of her grasp. She had
totally forgotten about crazy girl Kodachi! Big mistake.
With tire marks down the middle of her face, Kodachi's eyes
burned at the purple haired amazon. "How... DARE... you... mar my
BEAUTIFUL FACE!!!" she screamed, and having observed the effects of
the cookies proceeded to throw several at Shampoo.
Mousse jumped out of the shadows and heroically shielded his
love. "Don't worry, Shampoo! I'll save you!"
His love, being smarter, jumped away. "Stupid Mousse! Shampoo
can take care of self!"
Just before the cookies hit, Mousse, from somewhere within his
robes, pulled out a big and thick metal blast shield. However, when
the cookies hit, they blew the plate, and Mousse, backwards and
into a wall with a resounding clang. Mousse was not to be seen, but
cracks in the wall suggested that he was now embedded in it; when
the plate toppled over, the spread-eagled and dazed form was
revealed. His glasses were slightly cracked.
"Stupid Mousse," Shampoo muttered, landing beside the hole her
would-be husband had made.
"Great," Ranma said sourly, standing with the others in a
nervous, loose group. "Kodachi's got 'em now and she knows what
they can do." He turned to Akane. "How many cookies WERE there in
the box, Akane?"
"Four or five dozen," Akane nervously replied, watching
Kodachi hurl another chocolate-chip laden explosive at Shampoo.
"So Shampoo used about two dozen, leaving two to three dozen
left," Ukyou reasoned. "Just perfect. So what now?"
Like an answer from the Gods, a rising whine heralded the
arrival of a large, silver-colored humanoid form that landed on the
street with a loud clank. Short wings snapped down to a folded
position on its back as it spun towards the leotard-clad gymnast
with the cookie box. Ryouga, Shampoo, and Ukyou stared agape at the
armoured form, not really believing what they were seeing; Ranma
and Akane had seen Bert's hardsuit before, and were a little less
openly shocked. Facing Kodachi, SkyKnight's electronic voice boomed
out from his speakers.
"Okay, lady, give me the cookies nice and easy and there'll be
no trouble," he directed.
Kodachi was surprised at this new arrival, then she frowned.
"I know you..." she said slowly, then her eyes widened with
realization. "You!!! YOU were the one who destroyed my precious
flowers!"
Inside his suit, Bert swore fulminantly. She must've seen him
destroying those damn flowers in his armoured form after the
arrival of his suit threw her away. He couldn't bring himself to
actually HURT the girl but...
"NOW I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!" Kodachi shrieked, interrupting
his thoughts, and hurled SIX of the cookies at him.
Time seemed to slow down as SkyKnight's combat reflexes took
over. An icy clarity dropped across his mind as his eyes quickly
flickered across his suit viewscreen's readouts.
A bit beyond the silver Knight Saber and the enraged Kodachi,
Ranma and the others were diving for whatever cover was available
as they saw the small swarm of explosives flung at SkyKnight. They
almost missed seeing twin launchers of some kind spring up on the
silver-blue battlesuit's shoulders, and fire a spray of some kind
of projectiles at the incoming biscuits.
However, the effort wasn't quite good enough; two of the
cookies blew up in midair, and detonated the rest just as they
reached SkyKnight.
"AAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!" The agonized yell volleyed over
the roaring, expanding cloud of smoke and flames that burst
outwards from the blast center. Well away from the fringes of the
blast, the Black Rose continued to laugh maniacally, clutching the
box of cookies in triumph. After a few moments, the swirling cloud
of acrid smoke dissipated, revealing a pile of crumbled rubble; the
wall that had been behind SkyKnight. Of the silver hardsuit, not
even a trace could be seen. With a very nasty glint in her eye,
Kodachi turned towards the cringing group of friends.
"And now," she cooed, "I can get rid of you meddlers and have
my darling Ranma all to myself!"
*****
Several streets away, A lone figure was approaching the fight
area, bounding from rooftop to rooftop, and homing in on the
columns of smoke from the explosions. Twister saw and heard the
sudden, tumultuous detonation, and the agonized bellow that mingled
with it. Swearing to himself, and worrying over what might have
happened, he tried to pick up the pace. Then, after a few seconds
debate, used his levitation to fly towards the trouble.
*****
His breath rasped and bubbled liquidly in his lungs as he
tried vainly to shift the mass of rock and rubble pinning him down.
He quickly stopped trying to move as he felt a deep, fiery ache
spread outwards from his stomach again; he could feel the piece of
his hardsuit armour that had been driven into his guts shift,
enlarging the wound it had made.
Bert cautiously opened his eyes, but them met mostly
blackness. His suit was effectively dead; the cookies had torn
holes in his armour and him, and then buried him under a mound of
collapsed building. Just perfect. He'd survived killer boomers and
GENOM, only to get killed by some crazy nutbar hurling grenades
disguised as baked goods.
A cough racked him, and he tried desperately to suppress it
before it could convulse him in pain again. The effort left him
weak and gasping, and he wished there was some way out of his
current predicament. It was so hard to think though, all he wanted
to do was rest.
Alarm coursed through him as he recognized the fact that he
was dangerously close to the edge of passing out. In desperation,
born out of the frantic desire to live, he reached deep into
himself and braced himself for one last try at getting free.
What he found deep inside himself wasn't what he was
expecting, however.
Warmth and relief flooded through him, and everything seemed
to become surrounded by a soft glow. He had the sudden sensation of
floating, and seemed to hear again an authoritative, reverberating
voice.
"YOU HAVE THE POTENTIAL."
The potential for WHAT?!?!?! his mind screamed back.
"YOU KNOW AS WELL AS I. WHY WILL YOU NOT ADMIT IT? I HAVE TOLD
YOU ALL THAT I MAY. THE REST IS UP TO YOU."
Anger kindled. He hadn't been told anything!! He'd been forced
into whatever had happened to him. It goddamn wasn't fair!!!!!
Without even realizing he was doing it, somehow he reached into the
depths of the glow he'd found, and briefly accessed whatever it
was.
And for one moment he knew exactly what it was, and how to use
it.
Seizing it like a lifeline, SkyKnight drew on the power
pulsing there, feeling it rush into him. Instantly, the agony
eating at him vanished; he could feel his muscles, organs and skin
slithering oddly as they re-knit together, expelling the shrapnel
that had injured him. At the same time, he could somehow sense that
his suit was re-building itself. Within seconds, he was healed and
uninjured. Power coursed through him, wrapping around him and
supporting him with a warm, somehow friendly feeling.
Underneath the pile of crumbled rock and brick, SkyKnight
began to laugh.
*****
"N-n-now look, Kodachi," Ranma stammered. "Why don't you put
the cookies down, and we'll discuss this?" He sidled around,
putting himself between the crazy gymnast and Akane. She was
watching Kodachi, wide-eyed, and getting ready to jump out of the
way of any incoming projectiles. Shampoo, Ukyou, and Ryouga were
doing the same. Mousse was still stuck to the wall like some
strange art form.
"There's nothing to discuss, Ranma dear," she purred back, her
eyes seemingly lit with dancing flames. "I want you, and I'm going
to eliminate all these hussies who are distracting you from your
true love. Me!" With that, she scooped more of the explosive
goodies from the box, and hurled them at her oppressors. Everyone
dodged frantically as explosions tore through the already suffering
suburb.
"Okay! Kodachi! Hold it!!" Ranma shouted, frantically leaping
aside, hauling Akane with him. The cookie salvo halted briefly, and
he sighed in relief.
"Okay, look," the black-haired martial artist said, sweating
at the thought of what he was about to propose. "You stop trying to
kill everyone else, and I'll go with you. Okay? Just leave Akane
and everyone else alone."
"Are you crazy?!?!" Akane angrily hissed in his ear. "She's
not going to buy that! Besides, there's no WAY you're going with
her!!" Ranma didn't reply, watching Kodachi for her response.
"I don't think so, Ranma dear," the black-clad gymnast cooed
lovingly. "They'd still be around, trying to distract you and take
you from me. No, this way is MUCH better!"
"Put the cookies down, Kodachi," a new voice interjected. "You
don't know what you're playing with; you could get hurt." A
hurtling, brown-haired figure landed smoothly on the pavement
between Kodachi and her targets, coming up into a ready stance.
"Now come on, be reasonable."
"Boy, is SHE the wrong one to say that to!" Ukyou muttered
from behind Ryouga. Luckily, no one overheard her.
"Twister," Kodachi grinned nastily. "I don't think even you
could survive getting hit with these. Stand aside; Ranma is mine,
and I intend to take him!" Twister rolled his eyes; he'd survived
a lot more than what the cookies could do. He was going to take
them from her using psionics when...
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!" The deep, echoing laughter
suddenly reverberated everywhere in the narrow street.
"Somebody's been taking lessons from Kodachi on laughing,"
Ranma muttered, looking around. Twister was frowning to himself;
something about that laugh sounded familiar.
"Who DARES to laugh at the Black Rose?!?!" the infuriated girl
shrieked, whirling around. "Show yourself!!"
With a grating rumble, the pile of rock behind her shifted,
and began to move. For a brief instant, a purplish glow beamed out
from all of the cracks and crevices in the rubble heap. Chunks of
brick cascaded to the street as a towering, silver-blue hardsuit
shoved it's way out of the pile, pushing the debris aside until it
stood on the street again, facing the young woman wielding the
explosive cookies. Twister blinked in shock; he hadn't known that
Bert had arrived before him.
"You survived?!" the black-haired gymnast said incredulously.
"I have survived more than thou shalt ever know, or couldst
hope to know," SkyKnight's voice rang hollowly, dropping for some
reason into an archaic mode of speech. "Surrender up to me that
which hath been plundered, or earn my wrath."
"You've been taking speaking lessons from my dear brother,"
she sniffed, then her eyes narrowed angrily, and her teeth
clenched. "I WILL have my revenge on you for killing my poor,
defenceless beauties!!" Before anyone could move, she pitched
another pair of cookies at SkyKnight, hitting him square in the
torso armour.
The silver hardsuit was flung backwards, landing on the
pavement with a clang. After a moment of pained floundering, he
rolled over stiffly, and forced himself upright. The shocked
onlookers noted that there was now a gaping, bloody hole in his
armour, low and on the left side.
"I didst warn thee," the silver-blue battlesuit rumbled,
clenching its fists. There was the sudden sound of air rushing in,
and SkyKnight straightened up, as if gaining in strength. "Now thou
hast awakened my ire!!"
A purple glow, tinged with faint, almost invisible flickers of
red flashed suddenly, bathing the silver battlesuit from head to
foot in magical light. As the stunned observers watched, metal
plating flowed and rippled like waves of water; within seconds, the
silver battlesuit was unmarked and apparently unharmed. He
stretched, and the purple glow vanished. The ominously glowing
helmet eyeslot swung to regard the dumbfounded gymnast.
"So be it!!" SkyKnight barked harshly. "Thou hast proven
thyself to be unworthy of the courtesy due to a proper lady, and as
such, I am justified in doing....THIS!!!" One of his shoulder guns
snapped up and targeted the young woman. Kodachi's eyes widened,
and she grabbed for some more cookies.
She never made it; there was a loud, muffled `THWUMP' noise
and a loud splattering sound. Kodachi was hit with balls of some
kind of greenish goop that knocked her backwards, sticking her
helplessly to the wall behind her. She sat there, glued down like
a bug on flypaper, the hand holding the box still slightly stuck
out. She glared impotently at the silver hardsuit as it walked up
to her calmly; one of the globs had hit her in the mouth, rather
effectively shutting her up and sparing everyone the customary
threats of revenge.
"Thus hath that which was purloined been redeemed," SkyKnight
remarked as he gingerly removed the box from her grasp. Turning,
he walked over to the group of people clustered defensively behind
Twister. With an elaborate bow, the towering silver hardsuit
presented the box of volatile cookies to Akane.
"Your cookies, M'Lady," his voice boomed. "I wouldst recommend
that thou dost dispose of them in as safe and expedient a manner as
can be found, lest they tempt more people into rash acts of
violence." The young black-haired woman reached out and cautiously
accepted the proffered box, looking at the armoured form in front
of her curiously.
"Thank you. I...are you okay?" she asked. "You looked hurt
earlier."
"`Twas nothing, M'Lady," the hi-tech knight proclaimed. "A
minor injury of no significance."
"Uh, Bert?" Twister spoke up, frowning as he regarded his
armoured friend; he had been tempted to interfere because of Bert's
odd manner, but had trusted the Saber to prevail. "Are you SURE
you're okay? You don't need the courtly speech anymore."
"And what, pray tell, dost thou find peculiar about my
verbiage?" the silver figure demanded, wheeling towards him. "I..."
he suddenly stopped, and then staggered, lurching suddenly as if he
was passing out. "I... don't feel so good," SkyKnight's voice
stated, sounding less hollow and more human suddenly. It was still
electronic, but it seemed to lose the detachment he'd had a moment
ago.
"I think you'd better get your suit off and quick."
"Yeah..." SkyKnight muttered faintly. "Yeah, that sounds like
a pretty good idea right now." A familiar purple glow surrounded
the futuristic armour, then faded, leaving behind a
none-too-steady-looking Bert, who's eyes didn't seem to be focusing
properly at the moment. Finally locking on to the concerned
Twister, Bert calmly said, "I think I'm going to be absent from the
realm of consciousness for a while." Then his eyes rolled up and he
started to collapse but Twister and Ranma quickly caught the big
red-head before he hit the ground.
"Damn," Ranma told Twister as they gently put Bert on the
ground, "Kodachi really did a number on him with Akane's cookies."
"Doesn't look injured," Twister commented after scanning the
unconscious Knight Saber, but he still sounded worried.
"Unfortunately, that only makes me feel worse about it since no one
simply collapses for no reason. Akane?" he asked the
worried-looking Tendo daughter.
She started. "Yes?"
"Do you still want those cookies?"
"I... No," she finished rather forcefully, not liking what her
cooking had done to Bert. Despite the seriousness of the situation,
Twister grinned slightly at the look on her face.
"Good," he said, and the box Akane was holding vanished. "I'm
pretty sure getting dumped in the ocean will defuse the things.
Right now," he turned back to the comatose Bert, "I'd better get
our Knight-errant to the Professor." He scanned the watching group
of martial artists with his eyes, and sighed. "I'm not going to
bother to ask how everyone else got involved in this, but what
happened to Happousai?"
"The old pervert? Blasted himself with those bombs of his,"
Ukyou informed him, then muttered, "Might be a day or two before he
recovers, the lecher."
"At least something good came out of this," Twister observed
wryly. "But I'd better get Bert to Professor Miyabi quick. See you
later." And with that, both he and Bert vanished.
"Hey!!" Ranma belatedly protested to empty air. "What about
us?"
"More walking isn't going to kill you, Ranma," Akane said
irritably.
"Aiya!" Shampoo immediately glomped onto a surprised Ranma.
"Shampoo take husband to restaurant and make usual delicious meal
to eat."
"Hey!" Ukyou protested angrily, whipping out her mega-spatula.
"If Ran-chan eats anywhere, it'll be at MY place!"
"Ranma!" Ryouga bellowed, reaching for his umbrella. "How dare
you ignore Akane!"
"Saotome!" a slightly shaken Mousse said as he weaved his way
towards the others. He trailed plaster behind him, a reminder of
being implanted into a wall. "Leave my Shampoo alone!" Assorted
weapons sprouted from his voluminous sleeves.
Akane took this all in, saw Ranma sweating heavily as the
others closed in on him, and decided she'd had enough for today.
She turned and walked off, looking curiously at the still-stuck
Kodachi on the wall as she passed by. She couldn't resist a small
smirk before leaving the gymnast behind, the sticky stuff still
rendering her mute as she renewed her struggles to free herself.
"Akane! Wait!" she heard Ranma call after her. She almost
stopped, but she rapidly increased her pace when she heard the next
voice.
"How fortunate, foul sorcerer Saotome, that I should encounter
you on my visit to my sister. And betraying the fair Akane as well!
Defend yourself, villain!" Kunou exclaimed before the sound of
fighting drowned him out.
Sadly enough, just another normal, relatively normal, day in
Nerima.
*****
Bert's awakening to the land of the living was progressive...
initially. He moaned slightly, twitched his arms, and started to
open his eyes.
Then...
Greenish-brown eyes shot open to their widest extent when IT
registered.
"OH, MY GOD!!!!!" he screamed, recoiling frantically AWAY from
WHATEVER was underneath his nose that stank like... like.... HELL!
There WAS no comparison, and he prayed he NEVER smelled anything
ever again that even came CLOSE to this Smell!
" 'e's awake, Professor. Peeze 'ap 'hat 'ottle," pleaded a
gasping Darlene who was over to a far side of the room. Her voice
was muffled because she had clamped one hand on her nose, and the
other over her mouth.
Miyabi, who somehow managed to breathe the incredible stink
without passing out, calmly screwed the cap back on the glass
container. "As he's awake, I see no need to subject myself to it
any longer, but I highly recommend you use my bathroom in the
hallway before you throw up, Bert," she advised politely.
He was already out the door.
Emerging ten minutes later, the red-headed and slightly pale
Knight Saber glared balefully at a calm Miyabi. "WHAT by all that
smells nice and clean in the world WAS that stuff?!?" Darlene was
behind the teacher-mage and seemed to be sucking in great
quantities of fresh air as if to clear out her sinuses of the
offending and offensive odour.
"It's an old recipe that is quite effective for bringing
magic-users out of unconsciousness after they've depleted
themselves far more than they should, which you apparently did.
Otherwise, it could take days, or even weeks for a mage to wake."
"Oh."
"Try smelling it with a nose as sensitive as mine sometime,"
Darlene complained, rubbing her nose. "And tell me again why I had
to be in my female form? I could've filtered that... that ODOUR
with my TK."
Miyabi sighed. "There are several ways to wake someone who has
over-used their powers, and this," she held up the glass bottle,
"was one of the better and safer choices. However, if it had failed
I would have required magical help in trying another."
Bert rubbed his face wearily. "If that was the best way, then
thank God I woke up."
"Now that you are, perhaps you could explain just HOW you got
like that in the first place?" Miyabi arched an eyebrow when she
saw Bert immediately place a hand over his lower torso reflexively.
"What I did? I'm...not sure." He proceeded to explain how he
thought he had healed himself and his suit, omitting the fact that
he had heard a voice in his head because of the simple fact that he
had no conscious memory of having heard it. Nor did he recall
anything concrete of the differences in his mode of speech
immediately after, but Darlene did. It was that gap in his memory
that gave him the most concern. He'd had trouble with controlling
his temper and rage before, but this was a truly different slant on
things. "I was talking in an archaic way, you say?"
Darlene nodded, concerned. "Yeah, it was really weird, and it
sounded like you were someone else wearing SkyKnight's armour."
"That's... not very comforting," he observed, looking
decidedly ill.
"Sorry."
Miyabi was frowning. "I do not like the sound of this new
development at all. If the bond between Bert and his armour is
beginning to affect his mind..." she trailed off as she
contemplated options, then shook her head. "I need more
information, and this matter seems urgent. Therefore," she gazed
sternly at the two, "I want you two to come back later tonight so
we may try again to determine what exactly has happened. And I
highly recommend you try to catch some sleep before then, Bert."
"I don't think," Bert yawned, "that will be difficult."
"Very well. I will contact you both when I am ready."
"C'mon, Bert. Let's go," Darlene sighed, then wrinkled her
nose, "I can still smell that stuff."
"Makes scents," Bert deadpanned and dodged the irritated swipe
Darlene made; obviously, she was not in the mood for jokes. "You're
right, I'm sorry for the pun-gent joke. I couldn't help myself; it
was in-stinktive."
He didn't miss the second blow.
Owww...
*****
Shampoo sighed; she wasn't in a very good mood when she got
back to the restaurant. Her face was dusty, clothes slightly torn
from near-misses of spatulas, she was sweaty, and Ranma had slipped
away from her sight while she was fighting her spatula-wielding
rival.
At least Mousse wasn't following her right now, as he had been
hit by a water hose sometime during the melee and turned into a
duck. His constant begging her for a date would have earned him a
low-altitude orbit given her current state of mind.
"<Great-Grandmother, I'm home.>" she called out tiredly as she
entered the door. Cologne hopped out into sight, and took in her
great-granddaughter's current state.
"<Welcome back. I would ask how things went today but I can
see for myself that things did not go well.>"
Shampoo heaved a deep breath. "<No. I tried to get Ranma here,
but too many people got in the way.>"
"<Just as well,>" Cologne replied calmly.
"<What?>" the purple-haired young amazon said in confusion.
Not being able to bring Ranma here was what she wanted? "<Why,
Great-grandmother?>"
"<We have a guest,>" Cologne smiled and hopped out of the way
so that someone else could come into the room.
Shampoo blinked in surprise at the new arrival, then broke
into a wide, happy smile and rushed to embrace the other with a
powerful hug, which was returned with just as much enthusiasm
despite the amazon's current state. The purple-haired girl laughed,
"<What are YOU doing here, cousin?>" She looked at Cologne,
puzzled. "<I thought you didn't want her around anymore.>"
"<Her aunt and I have patched our differences because your
cousin has found a husband. Isn't that right, Lotion?>"
The beautiful, brown-haired amazon apprentice mage nodded
happily, but with a hint of sadness on her face. "<Yes,
Great-grandmother.>"
Overjoyed, Shampoo hugged her cousin again. "<That's
wonderful! But why are you here?>"
Cologne explained, "<There are some problems that my sister
did not explain in much detail. However, she felt that would be
best if Lotion were sent over here, as she was not improving
anyone's mood in the village,>" she finished reprovingly, making
Lotion flush.
"<At least I'll have someone I can spar with. What's your
husband's name?>" Shampoo asked curiously.
"<Twister,>" Lotion replied, and smiled a little at the other
two's surprised expressions. "<He did mention he knew you.>"
"<How did Twister get to the village? And why?>" Cologne
demanded.
"<He came, as a female, with a foreign magic-user to help with
the Trapped One.>" The two younger amazons shuddered a little at
the name. "<Masque tricked us into fighting and I was defeated.>"
"<Masque always was a bitch,>" Shampoo snorted.
"<The Trapped One... If he is male, then that should be
impossible. Shape-change or no. Perfume would have seen that in his
aura. But he WAS before Happy doused him with the cursed water.
Odd, that he was able to,>" Cologne mused to herself.
Shampoo frowned. "<So why aren't you chasing him?>"
"<I don't know how to find him,>" the sad magic-user replied,
looking down at the floor.
This made Shampoo even more confused. "<But he's in the city!
I saw him just today!>"
Lotion froze, then slowly raised wide eyes to that of her
puzzled cousin's. She couldn't believe what she had thought she had
heard. It was an eternity before she could ask the question.
"<What did you say?!>"
*****
"That feels much, MUCH better," Bert sighed tiredly, shoving
his dinner plate away, oblivious to the slightly incredulous stares
he was getting from the rest of the table. He'd opted to join the
Tendo family for dinner before taking the Professor's advice to get
some sleep, and no sooner had he smelled what was available, then
his stomach had started snarling like a den of starving lions.
Several platefuls later, he felt comfortable again, and could feel
the sweet siren call of sleep pulling at him now. He drained the
last of his mug of tea, and set the mug down.
"Looks like you've got some competition now, Twister," Ranma
noted, shaking his head, then wincing; some faint bruises were
still showing on the young martial artist, and he had a bandage
over his forehead. Except for the groggy red-head, and Twister, who
was looking thoughtfully at Bert, everyone else grinned.
"No more then you, Ranma. Maybe we should set up an eating
contest," Nabiki suggested slyly. "Noodles, perhaps?" Twister
turned slightly green at her words.
"No," he said firmly. "I'm never going to go through anything
like that again. Once was enough; I'm retired from the
noodle-eating business."
"Retired? Guess you're pasta your prime, huh?" Bert remarked
with a feeble smirk. He was leaning on the table with his elbows,
and he seemed to be sinking lower as time passed. The young
psionist winced at the joke, and he wasn't alone. The only person
apparently unaffected was Kasumi, who was efficiently and speedily
clearing the table. "I don't normally eat that much," the red-head
added a moment later. "Don't know what came over me; sorry."
"I think you just really over-exerted yourself," Twister
reassured him. "I've got to do the same thing when I get low on
energy. And speaking of energy: you'd better get to bed before you
hit the table." The displaced Knight Saber nodded, then with what
seemed like a superhuman effort of will, stood, and staggered off
upstairs.
Twister watched him leave, still vaguely concerned. He felt a
distinct foreboding when Bert left. Precog or not, there was
something disturbing going on with the red-head.
He hoped it would not disastrous.

<end part 4>

More to come soon, hopefully. ;)
Bert's address is skyk...@sentex.net

=================
Twister(aka Darren Steffler) e-mail at: fmw...@freenet.mb.ca
Homepage at: http://www.winnipeg.freenet.mb.ca/~fmw675/
Anime Fan!!! Must watch BGC and Ranma 1/2 to the infinite!