[Ranma][Fanfic] the bet-bitter pill
GreggSharp
Ranma 1/2: A Bitter Pill (The Bet)
version 2
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setting and major char by Rumiko Takahashi
add'l char & situations by Gregg Sharp
webpage: http://members.aol.com/MetroAnime/main.html
another "Akane Gets Ranma" fic, or should that be
reversed? a slightly different second version is planned.
i generally don't write this pairing, after all, everyone else
does, and i've already done this pairing three times.(1)
but for all the Akane fans, this one's for you.
-------------------------
His name was Juan Valdez, and he had a burro.
It wasn't a bad life, considering that he had started out
life as an advertising icon, a fictional character up until
the amazons of House Southern Cross (c.2597) being a
genetically engineered subspecies, followed the pattern
set by House Rising Sun by basing their new cultural
identity on ancient holovids and scraps of ancient
history. In their case, the "Empire of Khalifornia." (2)
Even then, had they not gone to a land of raw magic
where belief could become reality, he would have
remained a fictional character.
Being the god of coffee had its perks,
to be sure. One might not get invited to all the
good parties like the god of beer, but as the
morning beverage of choice for no less than
the Shadarian Empire (and select other locations),
you could find his shrine (coffeepot or urn) in
quite a few locations.
This, of course, is why Toltiir didn't
make any sarcastic quips or comments to someone
whose power rating was considerably below some
Nerima martial artists...
"Tiny change," Juan pointed. "There."
"The love pill incident? Hmm. You're
not modifying the behavior of one of the prime
suspects..."
"Not directly," Juan smiled. "Though
if she pull this off, I smile on little girl. She never
have grounds in her coffee."
Toltiir rolled his eyes. Well, what kind
of blessing could you expect from an
angel/kami/god of coffee?
-------------------------------------------
Kasumi frowned slightly. If they weren't
careful, Akane would see her own father, or Mister
Saotome, and then there'd be some MAJOR problems.
"You two, stop it this instant!"
Everyone stopped and stared at Kasumi,
she sounded...irritated. "Father, Mister Saotome,
leave now. Ranma, make sure Happosai doesn't
come near us."
"Now THAT sounds like a good idea,"
Ranma grinned and punted the older man into
orbit while he was still staring at Kasumi.
Kasumi sighed. "Now, Cologne is
the only one who really knows about this. I
suggest we talk to her about it, maybe there's
a cure."
Ranma leaned next to Akane. "Kasumi's
taking charge?"
Akane, blindfold once more in place,
whispered back. "I think we need to keep her away
from that 'espresso' stuff from now on."
---------------------------
"It's only the Day pill," Ranma said.
"All right."
"Ranma, since it is for only
one day, why don't you let Akane look
at you. That way she's not in any danger."
"Oh...HEY!"
"Ranma," Kasumi whispered.
"Akane protected you, thinking it was the
Permanent pill. Are you going to leave
the debt unpaid?"
Ranma winced and turned to
Akane. "Uhm, Akane? Just so that old
lech doesn't do something funny with
you...I mean, it's only for one day so I...
well...if you look at me, I promise not to
insult you until it's over."
Kasumi shook her head. This
was his idea of a personal sacrifice?
"Really, Ranma?" Akane was
getting pretty sick of the blindfold, and
for a moment, Ranma sounded...vulnerable.
Ranma glanced back at Kasumi
and sighed. "Yeah, really."
Akane removed the blindfold
as soon as she felt Ranma touch her chin,
guiding her face to the correct location.
Kasumi smiled as she watched
Akane looking at Ranma. "Now, remember
your promise, Ranma."
"Uhm, yeah." Ranma tugged
on his pigtail, nervously. THAT look in
Akane's eyes. Gee, she was kinda cute
when she wanted to be...
"Oh my," Cologne exclaimed
as she re-examined the bracelet, ignoring
the little drama behind her. "That really
WAS the Permanent pill..."
"Urk," managed Ranma.
"Oh my," sighed Kasumi.
"Ranma!" Akane said as she
performed a near-perfect example of an
Amazon Glomp(tm). "I love you. Love you
lots!"
"She must have been watching
Shampoo," was Cologne's observation.
"Ah, well, there's no help for it now."
"Isn't there any alternative,
Elder Cologne?" Kasumi hesitated. "Maybe
a cure?"
"Not that I know of," Cologne
sighed. There were times this job really got
to her. "That doesn't mean they don't exist,
but I haven't run across them in three hundred
years, so it's not in Amazon Lore. Maybe there's
something Japanese."
"Huh?" Ranma managed.
Cologne idly indicated Kasumi with
a quick point of her walking stick. "What Miss
Tendo here was asking, Ranma, was if there were
any alternatives left to Shampoo killing you and
Akane Tendo."
Ranma noted she wasn't referring to
him as "son-in-law." This did not bode well.
"What a pity that it wasn't you, Kasumi,
who swallowed the pill. Even if it had been your
OTHER sister, as the warrior code does not apply
the same restrictions to non-warriors as it does to
conduct between warriors." Cologne sighed again.
"Sometimes, I really feel my age. Anyway, despite
her lack of skill..."
Ranma urked again as Akane's grip
gave a sudden tight squeeze that wasn't from
affection.
"...Akane IS a warrior. Therefore,
Shampoo at the very least will have to kill Akane
now." Cologne idly reached out with her cane
and whapped Happosai. "You know, I don't
blame Ranma, I don't blame Akane, and I
certainly don't blame Shampoo for this state of
affairs, Happi."
"Uhm," Happosai mumbled. He had
THOUGHT he had been concealed. "Well, why
worry about Fate. Que serra serra and all that."
Akane let go of Ranma and faced
Happosai. Ranma cracked his knuckles. Cologne
started putting out a battle aura. Kasumi frowned.
Outside, Nabiki snuck away. If she
played her cards right, she could make a fortune
with the betting on this...
----------------------------------
Akane sighed and leaned into
Ranma's side, giving off a contented little
sound.
Ryouga watched the two walking
towards the dojo and felt his heart of glass
shatter into thousands of tiny pieces. Just
the happy & contented look on Akane's face
was enough to cause Ryouga to flee rather
than then be forced to see this.
"Oh, Ranma," Akane whispered.
Ranma bit back the quick reply.
He'd promised Kasumi. "Uhm, Akane, you're
cutting off the circulation in that arm."
"Oh..." Akane let go. Then
grinned and started studying Ranma's face.
Ranma flushed slightly. "Uhm,
Akane. About our fathers..."
"Yes, dear?" Akane blushed
slightly. She wondered if Saturday would
be a good day for a wedding.
"Ranma's right," interrupted
Kasumi. "If you act like that, you'll end
up married tonight."
Akane grinned and straightened
up. "Cool!"
Ranma stumbled and looked in
horror at the girl walking next to him. This
was...just wrong!
"Yes, Akane, but wouldn't you
and Ranma like to graduate first?" Kasumi
tried to ignore all the improper behavior from
her sister. She wasn't in her right mind after
all.
"Yeah, that's it. Gotta finish
school first!" Ranma spoke fast before
Akane could get a word in.
Akane pouted. Well, it sounded
reasonable when Ranma put it THAT way.
"But...Ranma...I..."
"Don't worry, Akane, we'll
figure something out," Ranma nodded.
Kasumi nodded. She'd have
to get Nabiki's help. Otherwise, the way
Akane was looking at Ranma, he'd be
seduced and married by the end of the
week, and while that wasn't necessarily
a bad thing, then Shampoo would have
to kill them both or they'd have to kill
Shampoo.
Kasumi thought that even
with Nabiki helping to run interference,
and reminding Ranma that Akane wasn't
doing this of her own free will, that this
was going to be extremely difficult.
---------------------------------
Ranma heard her behind him,
climbing up onto the roof, and approaching
but slowly, as if she expected him to flee off
into the night.
"Yo, Akane." Ranma just
continued to watch the stars, aware of
her presence, but remaining neutral.
"R-Ranma." Akane stuttered,
getting a little nervous. "Do you mind if..."
"If we what?"
Akane hesitated at seeing him
tense up. It was as if she were truly dealing
with his namesake- a wild horse. One that
had to be approached carefully. "Talk.
Just...talk."
He eyed her, nervous about
this. She had gotten so forward since she
"went on the pill."
"Ranma...do you...hate me?"
Ranma turned partially to her,
a sad expression crossing his face. "No,
Akane, I don't hate ya."
"Then...why?" The floodgates
opened and tears began to track down
Akane's face. "Why keep me at a distance?
Is it because I'm not as cute as Shampoo,
or as good a cook as Ukyou, or..."
Ranma's fingers gently touched
her mouth, quieting her. He smiled a little.
"Because, I'm no good with that feelings
sorta stuff. Y'know that. You used to be
no good with that either, remember?"
"Then...you like me?"
Ranma stiffened for a moment.
It was the utter vulnerability he saw in
Akane's face that prompted him to suppress
the quick insult, the harsh word. There was
no hint of deception in her eyes, just a deep
longing that made him feel warm.
"Ah, Akane. Yeah. I like you,
I like you a lot." Ranma couldn't entirely
suppress some sort of comment, however.
"I like you a lot better since you stopped
tryin' to kill me or beat me to a pulp."
"Really?"
Ranma swallowed. The image of
a bed of glowing coals came to mind, an image
from the days of camping out with his father on
that training journey. What he said now could
either cause the coals to become a warm blaze,
or forever quench that fire. Another presence
made itself known in a subtle manner, Ranma
knew Nabiki was below them, ready to intervene
if little sister got too "forward."
Ranma remembered his promise to
Kasumi. "Really, Akane. And don't go saying
you're less cute than Shampoo, ne?"
"Ranma..." Akane started crying
again.
Ranma watched in dismay. What had
he done now? She was crying again? He tried to
figure out what he had done wrong now...
"You're just saying that, aren't you?"
"Huh?" Ranma stopped trying to
figure this out. He was quite obviously in over
his head here. "No, no, Akane. Really. I...ah..."
"You...don't love me, do you?"
"Urk," Ranma managed. "Akane,
it's that love pill that's talking. You know that.
I can't take advantage of ya this way."
"No, Ranma, I've loved you for
a long time," Akane faced away from Ranma
now, sitting down and seeming to study
the night. "The pill just allows me to be
honest about my feelings."
"Huh?" Ranma thought that this
night was just full of surprises. The thought
also occurred to him that maybe he should
have had heart-to-heart talks with Akane before
this, as it may have cut down on the headaches.
"Ranma, why do you fight getting
married to me?" Akane sighed. "Does it really
upset you that much?"
"Those pills are something else,"
Ranma mumbled, before speaking in a more
normal tone of voice. "Ah, no I guess not...
but...aren't we kind of young?"
"Don't you think the main reason,"
Akane said slowly, "we've fought so much is
that our Dads push us at each other so much."
"Uhm, yeah." Ranma found himself
wishing that Akane could have been this
thoughtful before the pill. As it was he felt a
great deal of guilt piling up. She was too
vulnerable right now, and he felt he was
taking advantage of her being drugged out
of her mind.
Ranma took comfort in the fact that
Nabiki was still below them, so this still hadn't
gone too far, apparently. Nabiki would know
when that invisible line was being crossed...
Below the two, Nabiki smirked. This
would make her a considerable amount of money,
as well as accomplish a few other minor objectives.
Just as long as Akane stuck to her script.
---------------------------------
Genma found the note pinned to the
inside of the bedroom door. His eyes bugged,
he had to tell Soun about this.
Soun's reaction was predictable,
with rivers of tears soon flowing. "How could
they do this to us?! Akane! A-ka-ne!"
Kasumi picked up the note and
started reading aloud for Nabiki's benefit.
"Dear Mister Saotome,
"Despite all your efforts, Ranma and
I will not be immediately taking over the
dojo and raising your grandkids. We are
eloping, and by the time you read this will
be long gone.
"Ranma has agreed to train me, and
we will be taking a ten year journey to
perfect our Art. After all, if his father could
do this for ten years, how could he not
spend at least this much time with his
wife? Quite a honeymoon, ne?
"Tell Shampoo thank you, after all,
me and Ranma might never have gotten
together if not for her help.
"I'll write again, sometime later.
"Your daughter-in-law, Akane."
Nabiki quietly took the letter from
Kasumi's nerveless hands and glanced
over at the bawling fathers. THIS could
be parlayed into some heavy money.
And she did. And it was.
And everyone lived more or less happily
ever after, certain exclusions and limitations
may apply, not available in all areas.
=====================================
(1): Ranma gets Akane exclusively fics by me:
Happi Days, Mushroom Madness (though she
drives him away by the end), and Saint Ranma.
Also implied that this is how it will end up in
Now Printing, Interesting Times, Role Paying
Game, and there was an Akane-Ranma marriage
at the original ending of Enslaved.
(2): yes, this is all part of that bizarre little RPG
milieau that i started back in '79 with the old
Metagaming boxes of Melee & Magic. (hands
up, all of you old enough in anime & gaming
and the crossovers to remember the old
Metagaming stuff and playing a game during
the commercial breaks for "Star Blazers" -ah,
the tiny little bright areas of the '70s.) i wanted
a world where everything had a rational
explanation, such as how an elf and a human
could possibly produce offspring(3). Aramar
was the result, and these strange genetically
engineered amazons fit in to this same mileau.
(3): because humanity is the ancient race that
spawned the elves (L-5ers) and dwarves (heavy
worlders) among others, using human genetic
samples, that's why.