[Ranma][FanFic] The Pursuit of Happiness - Parts 5-8

[RPM - acct 3/5]

========================
THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

ACT 1

PART 5

A NIGHT OUT
===========

"Bills, bills, junk..." Ukyou frowned as she sorted through the
day's mail. Nearby, Ryouga was cleaning off the tables as Ucchan's
was preparing to close its doors.

"Hey," said Ukyou, "what's this?" She held up a post card and read
it. Ryouga, a few feet away, looked at the postcard as if it was
familiar.

"Oh, that," he said.

"So, you were in Tahiti last week?" asked Ukyou.

"Well, yeah," replied an embarrassed Ryouga. "At least I got back
before the postcard got here, right?"

Ukyou laughed. "Yeah, good point." She put aside the postcard,
planning to add it to the others that Ryouga occasionally sent when he
got lost, and continued looking through the mail. "Hey, could this
be..." She opened an envelope, pulled out some papers, and gave out a
cheer. "Alright! Got'em!"

"Got what?"

Ukyou dramatically held out two slips of paper. "These!" she said
proudly.

"And those are...?"

"Free movie passes! Won'em from a lottery contest at the local
theater."

"Oh, that's nice. So what're you going to go watch?" asked Ryouga.

"_We_ are gonna watch 'Ghost in the Shell'."

"We?" wondered Ryouga. "Why we?"

"Because I've got two tickets, and I'd feel ridiculous going to a
movie alone. So, are you coming or aren't you?"

"Um..." managed Ryouga, taken by surprise by the offer. "Yeah,
sure. Why not?"

"So, c'mon! Let's get outta here," said Ukyou, still in a pleasant
mood. Then she noticed the odd look Ryouga was giving her. "What?"

"You seem to be really enthusiastic about just getting two free
tickets."

"Yeah, 'cause they were _free_!"

"You're really Nabiki's long lost sister, right?"

***CLANG***

*

Ryo stared at the ceiling of his apartment.

He was bored. Bored, bored, bored.

His little sister, Kyoko, hovered nearby, twirling her scissors.

"Haircut?" she asked idly.

"What did I say last time?" asked Ryo flatly.

"No?"

"Correct."

"I'm bored!" whined Kyoko.

"Go play with Kanrinrin-san's dog."

"Kanrinrin-san took him to the vet!" whined Kyoko.

"Go bug the ronin upstairs, everyone else does."

"He's out!"

"How about the neighbor's child, room 1?" suggested Ryo.

"He's gross."

Ryo sighed. "Come along, then."

Kyoko blinked. "Hm? Where we goin'?"

"Just taking a walk."

*

In a dark movie theater, two young people were sitting there,
trying to sort out exactly what they were watching. There were also
other matters to take care of.

*WHAP* "Wake up, dummy! Snap outta it!"

Ryouga woke up, feeling a little light-headed. "What? What?"

"Ya gonna pass out EVERY time they show a naked body?" Ukyou
sighed and rolled her eyes briefly, then started wiping off the blood
that came out from Ryouga's nose. "It's just an anime! Jeez, you're
a mess..."

"Hey, I can do this myself!" Ryouga scowled, grabbed the paper
napkin from Ukyou and started cleaning himself up.

"What a wimp," muttered Ukyou.

*

Sitting in the park bench, Ryo looked over his umbrella for lack of
anything else to do. Nearby, Kyoko was whirling around the playground
in a frenzy, enjoying herself immensely, swinging on swings, sliding
on slides, and giving squirrels interesting new haircuts.

He yawned. So peaceful... and quiet... so terrible...

"HEY! LET GO!"

"NO! GEORGETTE ALL MINE!"

Ryo turned his attention back to the playground, where his little
sister was apparently fighting with another little girl over the
possession of Kyoko's oversized scissors.

"LET GO LET GO LET GO!"

"YOU LET GO! IT'S MINE MINE MINE!"

He sigh and turned away, intending to take a nap, with a light grin
on his face. Before he could fall asleep, he heard a loud shriek and
sat upright, wondering what happened.

Kyoko was standing alone in the playground, grinning a silly grin,
holding her large scissors in one hand, and a large mass of hair in
her other.

Ryo blinked.

"Got her?" he asked.

"Got'er!" Kyoko smiled happily and waved around the hair.

"Good girl," he said, and went back to take his nap. Then he froze
in mid-blink and said, "Kyo-chan..."

"Yes?"

"Do NOT cut my hair."

"Awwwww. Pleeeeease?"

*

Ryouga reached for some popcorn.

Ukyou reached for some popcorn.

A moment later, the tub-o-popcorn dropped to the floor amongst a
flood of apologies by both sides, and some low-level blushing ensued.

It was the sort of thing that was horribly cliche'd, but it didn't
help lower the amount of embarrasment they felt.

*

Kodachi tossed aside a folder and sighed. It had been a very busy
time as of late, but now she was free once more to pursue whatever she
wanted, which was, at the moment, either Ranma or Ryouga, she could
not decide which. Kodachi hmmed for a moment, putting chin in palm,
pondering how to go about things. <How did brother dear ever decide
whom to chase after first?>

Then the solution presented itself to her. She'd just go about the
town, and whoever she saw first, was going to have _all_ of her loving
attention for the night.

*

<Strange, Ukyou closed shop already?>

Ryoko looked at the door to Ucchan's, a bit puzzled.

"Ukyou? Ryouga? Hello?" She knocked on the door for a bit,
sprang to the roof and went to the back, looked around in the
backyard, then sighed and walked off. <I wonder where they went?>

*

Ryo leisurely strolled down the street, his little sister hopping
about, full of far too much energy (in his opinion) and tying up her
ill-gotten hair samples into a locket of sorts.

"C'mon, meet the neighbors!" prodded Kyoko.

"I'd rather not," muttered Ryo. "Just go ahead and go home." Ryo
patted her on the head. "You can visit the manager again, you two get
along well, right?"

"Yup!" bubbled Kyoko.

"There you go. Now go on in. I'll be back later."

"Where ya goin'?" asked Kyoko, looking at him with curiosity-filled
Kawaii-Boosted eyes.

"Target practice, Kyo-chan, target practice."

"Okaaaaay!" Kyoko zoomed into the apartment complex, giggling
happily and waving around the Azusa-hair that she sheared off earlier.
"Miss Manager! I'm baaaaack!"

Ryo waited until she disappared inside the building, and walked
away as he heard voices drift from within.

"Kyoko-chan, how are you doing today?"

"Fine! I was with my brother!"

"Oh, what's this in your hand?"

"It's hair," said Kyoko, matter-of-factly, "I scalped someone!"

*

Another night, another bunch of failed would-be boyfriends, thought
Akari as she observed her pet sumo-pig finish off the last of the
crowd of boys that he attacked. Nobody left standing.

She sighed.

<Isn't there SOMEONE out there for me?> she wondered sadly.

Being single in Nerima was rough already. Her case didn't help
lower the averages.

*

Ryouga and Ukyou sat in their seats, staring blankly at the screen
as the credits rolled by.

Ryouga slowly looked into Ukyou's eyes.

Ukyou slowly turned towards Ryouga.

"Ukyou..."

"Ryouga?"

"I didn't understand that ending at all," said Ryouga, "did you get
any of it?"

"Well... kinda." Ukyou sipped on her soda thoughtfully for a
moment as the end credits rolled by, then said, "let's see... um, the
two personalities, in the end, merged into one, new personality, but
stuck in the woman's head, who was rebuilt into the woman's head,
which was stuck onto some spare android, which then wandered off to
find it's destiny... or something like that."

"Er..." Ryouga still looked confused. "Okaaaay.... then who was
section 6?"

"Some other section of the government. Doesn't matter."

"That was... what's her name... Kusanagi's department, right?"

"Nooo, that's Department 9."

"I thought Department 9 was the bad guys?"

"No! The Foreign Ministry was the bad guys!"

"Ah... right... why?"

Ukyou frowned. Actually, she wasn't 100% sure herself, but she was
sure it would work itself out after a few hours of thought. "I'll
sketch ya a diagram later. C'mon, let's go."

The two left the movie theater, entering the cool, breezy evening,
and stretched a bit, experiencing the universal sensation of Movie
Theatre Stiffness (you know the feeling, after watching a long movie
and finally getting up only to have your body become unstable) and
rested briefly by the wall of the building.

"Hey," she said, pointing to a large movie poster on the wall, "an
Audrey Hepburn festival! Let's go watch it next week!"

"Audrey Hepburn? Who's that?" wondered Ryouga.

She smirked. "You really _are_ outta touch with pop culture,
aren't ya? I'll tell you 'bout her some other time."

"Ah... right."

Ukyou sighed and closed her eyes, tilting her head back, and let
the breeze blow through her face, lifting her hair slightly. Ryouga
couldn't help but look at her, just mesmerized. She might've passed
as a boy in the past, but now, as she was maturing, and finally
accepting she was a girl... at that moment he couldn't imagine her any
other way... and for a moment, just a moment, she was the only girl
in the world.

She noticed his attention and turned away, blushing, but with a
small bit of a smile. <What's he staring at?> she wondered.

"So, ah, where do you wanna go now?" said Ryouga.

"Go?" asked Ukyou. She really hadn't thought of post-movie
activities. "Hmm... go... hey, how about a dance club?"

"A what?!"

"A club! Y'know, music! Dancing! It'll be fun!"

Ryouga panicked. He didn't know how to dance and wasn't in the
mood to show a large crowd exactly how bad of a dancer he was. "But I
don't-"

"Oh, come on, don't be scared!" said Ukyou. "Hey, there's one
nearby, it'll be great!"

"I don't-"

"One more negative outta you, sugar, and I'll have to hit ya," she
said jokingly, dragging him along.

*

"Who'd have thought it would happen?" said Ukyou, sitting on a
street bench. Her expression was that of mild surprise.

"Well, in a way, it was bound to happen, I guess," grumbled Ryouga.

"They banned us," said Ukyou.

"The nerve of them!" declared Ryouga.

"Whoever heard of a 'No Martial Artists' policy?!" Ukyou yelled.
"Oh well, might as well go ho-"

"Ryouga-chan!"

Ryouga froze, turning around slowly. That was _not_ Ukyou's voice.
Those were not Ukyou's arms that had latched around him either.

Ukyou stiffened suddenly and her smile quickly faded, replaced by a
look of definite discomfort and barely visible yet definitely tangible
irritation aimed at Ryouga.

Ryouga stuttered, "R-Ryoko, um, w-what're you doing here?"

"Ryouga! Ukyou! Hi! What'cha two doing?"

"Um, we, ah," stumbled Ryouga.

"There's this movie, um, break, well," floundered Ukyou.

"Just taking a, uh, break," finally managed Ryouga.

"Yeah, aheh, just taking a break from running the store!" agreed
Ukyou.

"Oh, that's good. You shouldn't work too hard, Ryouga-chan! You
too, Ukyou!" Then Ryoko pouted. "But you should've invited me too!"

"Um, er," stuttered Ryouga.

"Well, we, um," tried Ukyou.

"It's okay, I know you weren't able to reach me, I was out all
day." Ryoko snuggled up next to Ryouga, while Ukyou scowled and Ryouga
started sweating badly.

Ryouga also forgot one rule of the universe: it can always get
worse.

"OH-HOHOHOHOHO! Ryouga-sama! I've found you!"

Ryouga cringed.

Ukyou sighed.

Ryoko scowled. "Ryouga's MY boyfriend, who the hell are you?!?!"

Before any of them could answer, several bouquets of flowers landed
on the floor and began smoking. "So, another would claim my
Ryouga-sama as her own? Very well then, PREPARE TO DIE!" Within a
second, the whole street was clouded with thick gas. From above,
Kodachi in a gas mask and leotard leapt into the fray, whipping around
indiscriminately.

Ryouga frowned. This wasn't the way tonight was supposed to go.
All he wanted was a nice, non-violent day with Ucc... his _friend_.
Everyone began to cough and gag in reaction to the fumes. Without
thinking, he grabbed Ukyou by the hand, held his breath, and ran
blindly in one direction.

Ryouga blazed through the streets, running blindly and coughing due
to the gas attack from Kodachi's bouquets. Finally he stopped,
partially because he was tired, but mostly because Ukyou booted him in
the head.

"IDIOT! What have you done???" yelled Ukyou.

"I got us away from Kodachi!" countered Ryouga.

"And left Ryoko alone back there against her!"

"Oh, um..." Ryouga began to look somewhat guilty. "We'll just go
back then, okay?"

"Ryougaaaa!"

"What? What?"

Ukyou sighed. "Ryouga, WHERE ON EARTH ARE WE NOW?!?!?!"

Ryouga looked around. "Hey! Where'd all these big trees come from
and where'd Tokyo go?"

"IDIOT!" *CLANG*

*

Meanwhile, back in Nerima...

The citizenry, once they got clear of the gas attack and settled
down to get a good view of the fight (fights in Nerima are considered
Free Entertainment, and it's common for a sudden brawl to get a large
audience).

They were very disappointed.

Ryoko, tangled in ribbons, coughing, wheezing, and somewhat
disoriented, had her hands around Kodachi's throat.

Kodachi, who had her gas mask knocked off, was wrapped in an
amazingly long yo-yo string, coughing, wheezing, and had her hands
around Ryoko's throat.

Hiroshi and Daisuke passed by, noticing the squabbling pair of
ladies and the crowd that was watching them.

Hiroshi went up to one person in the crowd and asked, "good fight?"

The man frowned, "feh, it started out alright, but then they both
started chokin' on some poison fumes and such."

Daisuke shook his head sadly. "So it degenerated into a typical
cat-fight between women, with little martial arts prowess shown?"

The man nodded. "An' they're still going at it now." Even as they
spoke, the crowd was slowly dispersing, disappointed.

Hiroshi shook his head. "No technique, no finesse."

Daisuke sighed. "Maybe there's something good at the movies?"

*

Ryouga and Ukyou did the only thing they could do in their position
(which was Being Lost), and strolled leisurely in a direction that
seemed right. In general, it seemed to be a good evening for a
stroll. The sunset was at it's waning moments, and darkness already
was settled into the streets.

Unseen to them both, a pair of eyes that were tracking them leapt
onto a nearby rooftop. Inside the house, there were yells of "Dammit,
they're at it again!" and "My roof! My roof!" but any veteran martial
artist tends to ignore this out of habit. Somewhere in the dark, that
person grinned.

<Target practice, ne?>

Ryouga blinked. He looked around cautiously, with the martial
artist instinct within him sending warning signals. Ukyou, being a
martial artist as well, also took a moment to glance around.

"You get the feeling..." said Ryouga.

"We're being watched?" added Ukyou.

They took a moment to look around.

Nothing.

Then Ryouga spotted it. In the dim moonlight, he saw a shadow on
the ground zooming towards him. "What the..." He looked up and saw
Ryo zooming through the air, using his umbrella as a glider.

Ryo frowned, realizing the element of surprise was gone. "Hibiki
prepare to die!" He snapped his umbrella shut, which drastically
changed his aerodynamics, sending him rocketing down. He aimed his
bladed umbrella at Ryouga's head.

"Ryouga look out!" yelled Ukyou.

"Ukyou, get back!" Ryouga stepped protectively in front of Ukyou
and blocked Ryo's incoming strike. Then, a flury of slashes, parrys,
and feints ensued while Ukyou backed away and watched. She would've
helped out, but knew Ryouga was the proud sort. If he got in trouble,
then she'd help.

"What *CLANG* do you *SLASH* want now?? *SWISH*" asked Ryouga.

"Just *SLASHSLASH* a little *OOF* entertainment," answered Ryo.

"Why can't *SWING* you just *SLASH* leave me alone?!?!"

Meanwhile, a block away...

Akari rode atop her gigantic sumo pig, sad that another day had
passed, with no worthy suitor in sight. "I think you're just too
tough," she sighed, as she petted the pig on the forehead. It grunted
with pride. Then, in by way of some sort of predatory instinct, it
sensed worthy foes nearby and charged like a pig possessed.

"Katsu-nishiki! Slow down!" pleaded Akari, but it was too late for
that.

Ryouga took a step back, surprised when Ryo's gloved fists suddenly
lit up with ki energy. The effect was nearly dazzling, as Ryo swung
ki-charged punch after punch, mixed in with occasional ki-charged
umbrella hook swipes, towards Ryouga. None made it through Ryouga's
defenses, but the punches that he blocked definitely did sting.

Ryo allowed himself a slight grin as he saw how much his new attack
was surprising his foe. Of course, this sort of ki usage was
incredibly draining, but Ryo was gambling that Ryouga would be thrown
off stride enough to leave some sort of opening, one that he was ready
to strike at with deadly force.

And then he saw his opening, a clear shot to Ryouga's chest. It
was there, if he reacted fast enough.

If only he wasn't a typical Nerima Martial Artist.

"AN OPENING!" he yelled, swinging wildly with a left hook. Ryouga,
being warned by the yell, dodged away, but not quick enough to evade
Ryo grabbing him by the shirt. Apparently forgetting what happened
the last time he tried it, Ryo went for the headbutt to Ryouga's face.

At the very last second he managed to slip away from Ryo's grasp,
pulling himself down and away as Ryo's headbutt attempt surged
forward. At the same time, Ryouga felt something big brush past him.

Ryo felt his skull connect solidly, but with something not... not
quite Ryouga-ish. Bigger, yes. Harder, definitely much harder.

There was pain. Definitely. Ouch.

It was apparently a pig. A really big one too.

Ryo swaggered, almost falling off his feet. <Be damned if I'm
going to fall in battle to a pig!>

The pig, who knew what it was hitting beforehand, also had its
pride and refused to fall. The two were locked in post-headbutt
position, slowly stepping away from each other while trying not to
look utterly dazed.

The pig snorted defiantly.

Ryo grunted and slugged it in the jaw.

The pig toppled over.

*THUD*

Soon after, so did Ryo.

*THUD*

"Well, that was weird," said Ukyou. "Who'd think that a giant pig
would come rushing out like... like..."

Giant pig?

Uh oh.

"Oh no," muttered Ukyou. "Please tell me Akari isn't around."

"Oh my!" said Akari, rushing up to Ryo's fallen form. "Is he
okay?"

"Aaaargh, no no no!" griped Ukyou.

"Er, what's going on?" asked Ryouga.

"Akari," said Ukyou, "you're not thinking what I think you're
thinking, are you?"

"Huh? Will someone tell me what's going on?" wondered Ryouga.
"And why's she got his head on her lap like that?"

"Remember how I explained to you about Akari and her pig?" said
Ukyou.

"Yeah, so?" asked Ryouga.

Trying not to cringe at the sight of Akari gently stroking Ryo's
hair, Ukyou said, "remember the part about BEATING her pig?"

"So what if someone beat... oh. Uh oh."

He finally got it.

"Akari, just this once, I don't think following your grandfather's
wishes is such a good idea," said Ukyou.

"From what I hear, he has his good traits," said Akari casually.
"He doesn't look too bad either."

"Akari, do you know WHO this person is?" asked Ukyou.

She took a moment to examine him. Fighting with Ryouga, dressed
well, had a surly look to his face. Hrm.

"This is Ryoko's brother, isn't it? Ryo?" asked Akari. "If he's
anything like his sister, he can't be all bad."

"Akari, this guy isn't someone you can trust," said Ukyou. Ryouga
nodded vigorously in agreement. "In fact, he's dangerous."

It was at about this time that Ryo regained consciousness. The way
in which he woke up reminded Akari of a pig. He first opened one eye,
slowly, then closed it again and snorted.

Then he opened the eye again. Slowly.

And saw a rather cute girl's smile.

He couldn't help but blink.

"Hi there," she said gently.

"Ah... hi."

This was a situation he was entirely not used to. A gentle smile,
a loving gaze, kind words, and his head resting on a female lap.

It was absolutely terrifying.

He bolted upright immediately, giving her a wary, narrow-eyed look.

"um... pardon me... must be running." Without further ado, he
wobbled up to his feet then sprang away.

"Wait!" cried Akari. "Come back!" Before Ukyou could stop her,
she ran off after her new infatuation at an amazing speed.

Sighing was the only thing Ukyou could do after seeing that. "Oh
boy, this isn't good."

"Come on," said Ryouga, "we might as well go home."

"Yeah," she said, looking absently in the direction in which Akari
ran off, "I'll just talk to her later."

For Ryouga, it was another reminder of the problem of a romantic
nature he was facing, one that he really didn't want to think about
either.

*

"Sorry the evening got ruined like that," mumbled Ryouga. The two
of them moved around the store front of Ucchans, making sure it was
locked up for the night.

"Ruined? What do you mean?" wondered Ukyou.

"Well... running into everybody like that."

"Oh, that?" Ukyou wasn't sure what the problem was. Being in this
neighborhood for the past year made her numb to attacks on dates by
various martial artists. It was something that was expected.

Although it was awfully sweet of Ryouga to apologize about it. "No
big deal. Weird coincidence, I guess."

"But I... I mean, I wanted..." Ryouga twiddled his thumbs, loosing
sight of what it was he was wanting to say. "I mean... we don't get
to relax much... and..."

Possibilities of what Ryouga was trying to say danced around the
edge of Ukyou's mind. <He wanted things to go perfectly? He wanted a
perfect night out? He wanted to have a great evening... with me.>
She almost blushed.

"That's okay, sugar," said Ukyou, smiling. "There'll be other
times."

"Yeah, I guess."

Ukyou proceeded to lock up the restaurant while Ryouga mulled in
the middle of the room. She couldn't help but feel mildly irritated,
though, as a scene from earlier in the days kept on replaying on her
mind. Today's events only helped to remind her of it - Ryoko hanging
on to Ryouga like that, while the dummy just stood there and
stammered.

Unfortunately, Ryouga noticed, and he began to look a bit more
uncomfortable, and that set off a chain reaction of her noticing and
getting a bit more irritated, which in turn got him more uncomfortable
until...

"Hey..." she said, "something else bothering you?"

"Hm?"

"You're looking weird."

"I am?"

"Yes," she said, "you are."

"Look," he said, sounding embarrassed, "Ryoko and I... we're
not..."

Ukyou frowned. "And, ah, why are you telling me this?"

"You... I just don't want you to get the wrong idea, that's all. I
just wanted to clear that up, okay?"

Ukyou sighed, sitting down next to Ryouga and looked him in the
eye. "Listen, sugar, we both know what happens when you aren't honest
about your feelings towards somebody."

"What do you mean by..."

"Don't be like Ranma," she said, her gaze unwavering.
"Understand?"

"What d-"

"If you don't feel the same way," said Ukyou, "tell her. Don't
keep her hanging on. Now do you understand?"

"I... guess I do. I'll.. talk to her about it."

Ukyou nodded approvingly. "Well... I'm bushed. Guess I'll go to
sleep. G'night Ryouga."

"Yeah, good night."

Ukyou headed for her bedroom, then hesitated when she realized
she'd left Ryouga at the kitchen, with no way for him to find his
room. It might take him hours just to find his room again, and that'd
mean she'd have a hard time waking him up the next day. Not good.

As she headed back to find Ryouga, she heard the phone ring. Ukyou
crept back, silently, and peeked around the corner at the front
register, where the phone was, and where Ryouga picked it up.

//Ryouga?//

"Ah... Ryoko?"

//Hi! What happened to you? You disappeared after I got through
beating up that psychotic weirdo girl.//

"I... ah... got lost. Look, I've gotta..."

//Hey, are you doing anything this Saturday?//

"Ah, Saturday? No. But I..."

//Great! Then WE can go out on a date Saturday, right?//

"Er... a date?! I, er..."

//Great! See you Saturday! Byebye!//

**click**

"A ... a date?"

Ryouga slowly put down the phone, took a deep breath, and tried not
to yell. It didn't work.

"WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?!"

Unseen and unheard, Ukyou went back to her room with a frown,
muttering, "Spineless Moron! Wimp! Idiot!"

As far as she was concerned, that moron could find his room on his
own.

-end part 5-

SUNDAY NIGHT

"Kinnosuke, sorry to disturb you but I'm in need of your services."

//Hey, that's okay. Just as long-//

"Of course, I'm ready to pay."

//Oh, well then, your wish is my command. Hadn't heard from you in
a while. Where are you at?//

"Lounging about Nerima these days."

//Nerima? Hey, you wouldn't happen to know a Nabiki Tendo, would
ya?//

"I know of one, yes. Why?"

//Next time you see her, send'er my regards.//

"Oh-ho. A possible... interest?"

//Let's just say I admire her work.//

"In-ti-res-ting."

//Right then, to business. What do you need?//

"Tell me what you know about a girl named Akari Unryuu."

//Unryuu... Unryuu... give me a moment to look that up... oh my.//

========================
THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

ACT 1

PART 6

No Dance for Me
========================

MONDAY MORNING

Ranma got up, half-asleep, and stepped into the living room. Akane
was already there and didn't look very much awake either.

"So, what is it today?" asked Ranma.

"Sumo day."

"Sumo day?"

"Sumo day."

"I hate sumo day."

*

Meanwhile, elsewhere...

"Oh my."

The morning greeted Akari Unryuu's doorstep with flowers of almost
every color and shape, leaving her awestruck and speechless. She'd
never received flowers before and the sight of the masses of flowers
now made her feel giddy and light-headed.

There was a card.

It was a simple card, with no decorations, and rather small as
well.

It had a simple message.

Good Morning

-Muhoshin Ryo

*

Much later...

"So, they still do this every morning?" asked Ryouga.

Nabiki nodded casually. "Well, ever since they announced they
WOULD go through with the marriage after all, things got ugly.
Although... some of them don't seem to be as enthusiastic as they used
to be."

"Oh? why's that?" wondered Ukyou.

"Probably because Kuno-chan's bunch is bullying the other clubs
into it, I think," said Nabiki.

"Goodness, isn't this dangerous?" wondered Akari.

"I feel sorry for all of'em," said Ukyou.

They watched from atop a wall as Ranma and Akane plowed into a
horde of sumo wrestlers.

"And they're even on a schedule too," said Nabiki.

"Schedule?" asked Ukyou.

"Let's see... for this month, it's the Sumo Squad this morning, and
the Tennis Team this afternoon."

A sumo wrestler entered Low Earth Orbit. Another went to the
second floor via Akane Fist And Kick.

"Hm... Tuesday morning is archery..."

"Archery?!" boggled Ukyou.

"Yeah, archery. Oh, don't worry. They just shoot blunt-end
arrows. More irritating than anything else, really. The afternoon
is... ah..."

A sumo wrestler was thrown through a window into a room, where,
seconds later, an explosion and purple smoke emerged.

"Oh yeah, Chem Club."

"Them too?" asked Ukyou.

"Yup. And Wednesday it's Akane's Stormtroopers."

"Akane's what?" asked Ryouga.

"Well, those guys," answered Nabiki, "just a bunch of students.
Don't belong to any club, and their only goal is to date my sis."

"Why," asked Ukyou, "is the whole school so obsessed with Akane?"
She wouldn't admit it, but she was feeling a little jealousy.

"I have no idea," said Nabiki. "AAAnyways, Wednesday morning is
the Hockey Team, Wednesday afternoon is the Baseball Tea-"

"Okay, okay, we get the idea!" said Ukyou.

"How about Kuno?" wondered Ryouga.

The three of them ducked as a sumo wrestler zoomed through the air.

"Kuno-chan? He's up on Friday mornings, along with the kendo
squad."

The three watched, slightly bored, as Ranma and Akane dismissed the
last of the Sumo horde for the day.

"Hey! Ranma! Akane! Hurry up, you're gonna be late!" yelled
Nabiki.

"See ya later, Nabiki," said Ukyou as she headed out into the
hallway crowd and after Ryouga. "Hey! Ryouga! That's the wrong way!
Wait up!"

And so, life resumed in Furinkan High.

The classes passed in a haze, as usual, but the lunch hour was
another matter entirely.

The guys and the girls, as usual, seperated into their seperate
little zones and talked of life, love, and the pursuit of happiness.

And boys.

In particular, Sayuri, Yuka, Manami, Akane, Akari, and Ukyou were
gathered at a table, gossiping in general.

"What's with you, Akari?" wondered Sayuri.

"Hm?"

"You seem... really bubbly today." It was true, and rather
noticable. She'd been smiling and grinning and humming all through
the day.

"Just a nice day, that's all," she said cheerily.

"Ah... right." Sayuri let the matter drop, figuring she'd find out
eventually, either from Akari or Nabiki.

"You know, the spring dance is coming up," said Yuka, "I'm so
excited!"

"Is Daisuke seeing anybody?" asked Sayuri, "I think I'll ask him."

"Ranma asked you to go already, right?" asked Yuka.

"Well, not yet," answered Akane reluctantly.

"Jeez, is he still dense about these things?" wondered Sayuri.

"Guess so," said Yuka.

"How about you, Ukyou?" asked Akari.

"Hm? What about me?"

"Hasn't Ryouga asked you to the dance yet?"

"WHAT?"

"C'mon," said Yuka, "don't tell me you two aren't an item."

"It's not like that!"

"What's wrong with him? He does look cute," said Akari.

"We're just friends, really!"

"Riiight," said Sayuri. "Well, if he's not gonna take you, I hope
he asks me!"

"Sayuri!" yelled Ukyou.

"Well," said Yuka, "Akari's right, he is cute. I wouldn't mind
being with him either."

Meanwhile, somewhere on the boy's side of the lunch zone, Daisuke,
Hiroshi, Ranma, and Ryouga were settled under a tree, digesting and
such.

"You watch that game last night? I tell ya, it was great," said
Daisuke.

"Man, this is the most disgusting sandwich they've ever made," said
Hiroshi, spitting out some of the cafeteria's fine cuisine.

"Akane must've cooked it," said Ranma, then quickly checked to make
sure that she didn't hear that.

"Speaking of Akane," said Hiroshi, "you DID ask her to the dance,
didn't you?"

"The what?"

"The spring dance! You know, the first dance in a LONG time that
Principal Kuno approved?"

"Che, Principal Kuno'd probably have us shave our head or
somethin'."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. So you've asked Akane, right?" wondered
Daisuke.

"I... well... no."

Hiroshi said, "You WANT Akane to pound you, then?"

"No! It's just-"

"Ranma's lucky, though," said Daisuke, "he's got someone to ask."

"How about you, Ryouga?" asked Ranma, hoping to get the spotlight
off of himself, "you gonna ask Ucchan?"

Ryouga blinked. He wasn't used to being a focus of attention.
"What?"

"You heard me. Well? C'mon, ask her out."

"Oh, that's right," said Hiroshi, "I forgot that you and Ukyou were
a couple too."

Ryouga choked on a sandwich bit.

"So, when are ya askin' her out, Ryouga?" asked Ranma.

Ryouga spat out some processed tuna, still coughing a bit.

"Surprised nobody else asked her," said Hiroshi.

"Yeah, she's cute!" added in Daisuke.

"She's never hit you with a spatula before," muttered Ryouga.

"If I thought I had a chance, I'd ask her," said Hiroshi.

"You're a lucky guy, Ryouga," said Daisuke, "she's cute and can
cook."

"You two even live together already," said Hiroshi.

"Hey hey, have you two, well, you know," asked Daisuke, elbowing
Ryouga a bit. This wasn't wise.

"IT ISN'T LIKE THAT!!!" yelled Ryouga.

"Hey," said Daisuke in a low voice, with a bit of a sly grin. "If
you're not gonna ask her... can I?"

"NO WAY!" bellowed Ryouga.

Ranma stayed quiet, enjoying the show. He was only too glad to
have Ryouga take the spotlight for once.

"Why not?" wondered Hiroshi. "I thought you two aren't...?" asked
Hiroshi.

"NO! Why'd I want to date her?" wondered Ryouga.

"What?!" exclaimed Hiroshi. "A babe like her? I don't believe
you, man! What's wrong with her?"

"You think she's too ugly? You just aren't attracted to her?
What?" asked Daisuke.

"Yes! NO! ARGH! Stop asking me!" yelled Ryouga.

Unfortunately, Ukyou was nearby, and she heard the bit about being
too ugly. She calmly walked over with a hint of menace in her eyes.
"What's that, Ryouga? You think I'm ugly?"

"Um, no, wait, I didn't mean that!"

"So you think I'm ugly, eh?!." She lifted her spatula from the
sling and twirled it.

"Man, this is like deja-vu," said Ranma. "Only it's happening to
someone else. This is cool."

"I didn't say it!" yelled Ryouga desperately. "No! UGH!"

Normally, the UGH would have been caused by a spatula to the head.

Not today.

"Oh-hohohohohoho! Ryouga-sama! How I've missed you," purred
Kodachi as she latched onto Ryouga and glomped him firmly.

She was, again, in her leotard.

And holding him tightly.

Ryouga promptly sprouted a nosebleed and passed out.

"Ryouga-sama?" she asked.

"What a wimp," muttered Ranma.

"Ranma-sama!" said Kodachi. She sprang from Ryouga, dropping him
to the floor, and soon had Ranma in her arms (and struggling to get
out.)

"Hey! Leggo!"

"RRRRRAAAANMMAAA!!!!"

<Oh no> thought Ranma, "Akane! Wait!"

Akane approached, blue battle aura and all.

"No! Wait! This isn't what it looks like!"

*WHAM*

*

King's Cafe, the lunch hour.

The bar was closed, reserved actually, for a private gathering.

At a long table was seated a large amount of people, roughly 50,
all dressed in semi-formal garb and in a quiet and subdued manner.
Seated at the head of the table was an old man, also in a suit. He
seemed to radiate authority and respect. A few others were of middle
age, but the rest of them were rather young, in their late teens or
early twenties.

King heard vague rumors of the elderly man at the head of the
table. He was a master of some secret school of martial arts, but
beyond that, she did not know. Naturally, she watched from a distance
with great curiosity.

Ryo Muhoshin sat quietly near the end of the table, surrounded by
his siblings and other members of the now defunct UWSMA. He looked at
who was seated at the front of the table and was rather impressed.

There was Sensei Tanaka, who took part in training Ryoko under the
recreational equipment division.

There was Sensei Yamada, who could not only take down several
opponents with kitchenware, but could also use, for example, a wet
fish (and coined the phrase 'Well slap me with a wet fish!'), and
defend himself well.

There was Sensei Morimoto of the gardening division, Sensei
Matsuzushi of the hair care division, and there was Sensei Kobayashi,
a living legend and master of forest survival. Leave him in the
forest, unarmed, and he'll only need to use a clump of dirt and a weed
to bring you down.

There was someone that caught Ryo's eye. A girl. Sitting next to
the sensei of the Janitorial Division. A short haired, fairly
uncomfortable looking GAIJIN girl. She was shifting around uneasily
and was looking generally out of place. He narrowed his eyes. Why,
he wondered, was a barbarian foreigner amongst us? She noticed his
gaze and returned it with an equally hostile glare, then turned away.

There was something familiar about her though. He just couldn't
remember at the moment.

Ah. There was a familiar face in the crowd. Ryo prodded his
memory for a moment, until a name finally emerged.

Kousuke.

Kousuke... Kousuke... oh yes. Him. Ryo broke his leg on a whim
once. Must say 'hello' and 'how's the leg?' sometime. Hahah.

And then there was one of the higher ranking masters, Sensei
Miyaji. He was also the Muhoshin's legal guardian. Of course, the
rather independent nature of them made it somewhat difficult to manage
them. At the worst was Ryo, who despised any interference from 'the
old man'. On the better side was Kyoko, who called him 'grandpapa'.

With an *ahem* and a cough, Miyaji stood up to address everyone.

"Ladies, gentlemen, it's good too see you all looking well," said
Sensei Miyaji, stroking his beard. "This will probably be the last
gathering in a while of what was once a proud and long-lived school of
martial arts..."

The crowd seemed to be saddened at this point.

"... but I an not content to see it die in such an undignified way.
There will be a rebuilding. I've talked with other elder sensei,
we'll see what can be done. Until then, I wish you all the best in
your new lives."

The applause started.

"Oh, I should mention that one of your colleagues, Ami, could not
be here. She sends her regards," he continued, "but the good news is
that she now serves the royal family."

The crowd cheered at this. It was quite an achievement to get that
position.

"Now, let us enjoy our lunch."

The crowd ate, a bit subdued, but still with conversation. People
caught up with what was happening with others, congratulations and
condolences were given, and a generally pleasant time was had by all.
Soon, the luncheon was over, and Ryo strolled to the doors, eager to
avoid the nagging of his former (tor)mentors.

As Ryo and his siblings exited the cafe, he heard an *ahem* behind
him, and turned to see Sensei Miyaji standing behind him.

Kyoko yelled out a loud WAI and glomped the old fellow.
"Sensei-granpa!" she bubbled.

"Oh, hey," muttered Megane.

"Sensei Miyaji! How're you doing nowadays?" asked Ryoko.

Ryo scowled.

Miyaji smiled as he looked over his (legally) foster children.
"I'm doing well for myself, retirement and such you know? I'll visit
you all again right now, but for now..." His tone turned a bit on the
serious and stern side, "Ryo Muhoshin, I need to talk to you young
man, alone."

Ryo looked at his sisters and brother briefly. "Go on home," he
said.

Megane tsked.

Kyoko jumped up and down. "Oooooh, Ryo's in trouuuuuble."

Ryoko looked at her watch. <Hm, by now Ryouga oughta be...> "I'm
gonna go visit Ryouga, be back home later."

They left quickly, leaving Ryo and Sensei Miyaji alone.

"Come, let us walk a bit," said the sensei.

Ryo frowned, but followed. He'd rather not follow the old man, but
one had to show some respect some time.

*

"What a day," muttered Ryouga, trudging home, feeling relieved that
the school day was over.

"No kidding," said Ukyou, who walked along with him. She pulled
him back in the right direction every now and then.

"How dare they ask me if I... ah..."

"Hm? Ask ya what?" queried Ukyou.

"Um, never mind."

"C'mon, tell me!"

"I'd rather not."

"Okay, fine, be that way," muttered Ukyou.

"What do you mean by that?!"

"Pigheaded," said Ukyou. There was a hint of a smile on the edge
of her face, but Ryouga didn't notice it.

"HEY!"

"Just kidding!"

They walked on in silence for a while longer.

"You really don't wanna say? Okay."

"It's just that the guys were asking me, um, who I was gonna ask to
the spring dance," said Ryouga, blushing lightly.

"Oh, ah, that." Ukyou suddenly wished she hadn't asked.

"They were just, well, wondering when I'd, um, ah, ask you to..."

"RYOUGA-SAMA! OH-HOHOHOHO!"

Ryouga froze in horror. <Not AGAIN! Please not Kodachi, please
not Kodachi, please->

It was Kodachi.

"Ryouga, darling, have some roses," said Kodachi, tossing a bouquet
of black roses at him. Ryouga batted it away with ease. He was a
victim of her roses once already, and he didn't care to be one again.

"W-what do you..."

Ukyou sighed. <Somebody buy Ryouga a spine, please.>

"Just came here to remind you, Ryouga-sama, about the spring dance.
We are going, aren't we?"

"WHAT? NO W-"

"A school dance? Ryouga, you were gonna ask me, right?" said Ryoko
as she arrived on the scene.

<Shouldn't these things> wondered Ryouga <be happening to Ranma?>

"And who are you, peasant girl?" sneered Kodachi.

Ryouga would've said something at this point, but he was
momentarily paralyzed, and not too happy either.

"Peasant girl???" Ryoko pulled out her twin iron-weighted yo-yos
and approached Kodachi with extreme malice.

Ukyou, seeing a possible disaster building up, tried to cool things
down. "C'mon, girls, calm down, let's not fight, okay?"

"Oh-ho, so the hack chef has an interest in my Ryouga-sama too?"

Ryoko blinked.

"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!!!" yelled Ukyou.

Ryouga finally decided that enough was enough and tried to step in.

"Take this, you wenches!" yelled Kodachi as she tossed a gas
grenade bouquet at them. Ukyou and Ryoko managed to get clear, but
Ryouga didn't see it coming. He was, again, paralyzed by Kodachi.

Then the fighting got underway.

*

Normally, this would be a pleasant day in the park.

Not today. Why? Ryo Muhoshin and Sensei Miyaji were strolling in
it, and that raised the potential for violence quite a bit.

The sensei seemed to be relaxed, but Ryo was dreading the
conversation that was about to take place.

"Ryo."

"Hm?"

*whap*

"Talk properly, boy!"

"Itai... yes, sensei."

"I want to talk to you about a few things."

Ryo frowned.

*WHAP*

"Show some respect for your elders!"

"YES SENSEI!"

"Now... first of all, how are your brother and sisters doing?"

"I see no need to worry about them, sensei," he said cooly.

"I take it that means everything is fine?"

"I suppose, sensei."

"And your sister, Ryoko, she has given up on the boy Hibiki?"

"Yes, sensei," lied Muhoshin.

"Hm. I must talk with her later."

"Of course, sensei."

"Where was I... oh yes, first of all, I'd just like you to know
that I've heard about what you've been up to, and I don't like it."

Ryo remained cautiously silent.

"Our school was founded for the purpose of PROTECTING lives, not
ending them! You are taking everything we've taught you and
tarnishing it."

Ryo winced.

"Muhoshin, I know that the other instructors pushed you by
comparing you to that Hibiki boy all the time, but it was not supposed
to lead to a burning hatred for him."

"Right."

*WHAP*

"Right, Sensei."

"And I heard... I heard you were dealing with the Shadoloo."

Ryo decided to remain silent on this topic.

*WHAP*

"What... was that for..." growled Ryo.

"You had it coming. You know not what you deal with when you deal
with the Shadoloo, boy."

"I think I do."

"Oh, so you think you're better than I?"

"Yes."

"Well then," said Sensei Miyagi, "let's see about that." He pulled
out a twin set of fans.

Ryo adjusted the gloves on his hands and looked at his sensei from
the corner of his eye.

"I've learned a few things," he said, as his fists began glowing
with ki-energy.

*

Ryouga wasn't in a good mood. He was also still paralyzed.

"Oh-hohohohoho! Fighting with toys, little girl?" taunted Kodachi,
to which Ryoko replied by slinging her yo-yo out and breaking
Kodachi's nose with lightning speed.

"You liddle bidth! You shall bay for dat!" sneered Kodachi, while
she held her now bleeding nose.

"Shut up and fight!" Ukyou charged with her spatula, but Kodachi
managed to spring free and whip around wildly with her ribbon.

Ryouga was definitely not in a good mood. <These things> he
thought <happen to Ranma, not me!>

Kodachi snared a park bench and tossed at Ryoko, who dodged easily.
Instead, the bench hit Ryouga.

<All this, because everyone thinks I love somebody...>

Ryoko slung her yo-yos and snared Kodachi by the ankle, then pulled
hard, swinging her around. Unfortunately, Ukyou was in the way.

<Love. Ha. I've had enough of that. It's given me NOTHING but
HURT and DISAPOINTMENT.>

Ukyou shoved Kodachi away, but unfortunately Kodachi's ribbon was
beginning to tangle everyone up...

<Love? Who needs it?! Not me!>

In a surprise attack, Kodachi went for Ryouga's arm, hoping to drag
him off somewhere more private (and comfortable). Ryoko countered by
grabbing the other arm, and Ukyou managed to get a hold of his foot.

Ryouga was beginning to glow, and not entirely from depression
either. He put up with things that the fairer sex did, believing that
girls needed to be treated more gently than boys in general. However,
there was only so much he could take.

He really didn't like being treated like a rope in a 3-way
tug-of-war.

"CUT IT OUT!!!"

The three girls froze from the sudden outburst, as Ryouga overcame
massive chemical poisoning to stand up in a pose of anger and angst.

"Ryouga-sama?" asked Kodachi.

"Ryouga?" asked Ryoko.

"I'm _not_ going to the spring dance with anyone, I'm not dating
anyone, I DON'T want to date anyone, I DON'T NEED ANY OF THIS!!!"

This brought an immediate halt to the squabbling of the ladies.

"Ryouga, you don't mean it..." said Ryoko.

"EVERYONE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" Ryouga ran off, very angry,
leaving behind three stunned and silent girls.

*

"You see, Muhoshin, the student has yet to surpass the master."

Ryo mumbled.

"Now, take my advice, boy, first of all, learn from your mistakes,
don't be angry from them."

Ryo groaned.

"Second, get back to your roots and mind your manners."

"That's... three."

*WHAP*

"Ow."

"Don't contradict me. Anyways, fourth, don't hold on to your hate,
Muhoshin, it serves only to hinder you."

"Right..."

*WHAP*

"Right... Sensei."

"And finally, you were trained to be a protector, not a criminal!"

"Yes... Sensei."

"Very well then. I'm going now."

"Sayonara, Sensei."

"And I'll be in touch again, keep that in mind."

"Oh, good."

*WHAP*

"Don't be a smartass, boy."

"Y-yesss, sensei..."

"Oh. And one more thing... I hear you've been taking on Happosai."

Ryo blinked. How'd the Sensei hear of that?

"Don't bother, boy, greater men than you have tried to kill him."

"I nearly succeeded."

"Did you pierce his body with a spear? Drown him in a river? Toss
him in a cave full of explosives?"

"No..."

*THWAP*

"N-no, sensei."

"Then you haven't even come close to the best of efforts. He gets
hurt, oh yes, but he NEVER dies. He is amongst the greatest evils of
Japan today, boy. If you had hurt him, he was probably playing with
you. He does that, you know, finds someone to amuse him and teases
that unfortunate soul for YEARS."

Ryo nodded slowly.

"Now get your act together, boy, Or Else."

Sensei Miyaji walked away, calmly, and fanning himself casually.

Ryo was imbedded in a wall, upside-down, cut, singed, and worn out.
He sighed. Wasn't this sort of thing, he wondered, supposed to stop
once he left the dojo?

When he was sure he was out of sight, Sensei Miyaji started to limp
down the street a little and rub some spots where singe marks were.
He paused, looking at the rooftops. The boy was definitely improving,
and he was afraid that without guidence, he'd become nothing more than
a criminal.

Then he sensed someone.

"Show yourself," he said. The gaijin girl from the luncheon sprung
down from the rooftops. "You are... a student of Sensei Giichi's, are
you not?"

"Yes, sensei," she replied, in a somewhat uneven, British-accented
tongue. Whoever she was, it was very obvious that Japanese was a
second language to her.

"What was your reason for watching us?" he asked evenly.

"I am searching for Hibiki."

"Hibiki?"

"Ryouga Hibiki."

"You?"

The girl nodded.

"And may I ask why?" inquired Miyaji.

"It is of a... personal matter, Sensei. Sorry if I've disturbed
you." Without another word, she sprang away through the rooftops.

"Young people these days," grumbled the Sensei.

*

Ranma and Akane walked out of the house as the sun rose, still
somewhat tired.

"What day is it?" asked Ranma.

"Stormtrooper day."

"Stormtrooper day? That's not so bad."

And so another Wednesday began in Nerima.

Akari, Nabiki, Yuka, Sayuri and Ukyou watched from afar as Ranma
and Akane charged into a horde of miscellaneous students.

"So, Ryouga still hasn't come back?" asked Akari.

"No, but I'm sure he's okay," said Ukyou, although she didn't sound
convinced herself.

"Come on, admit it, you kinda like him," said Sayuri.

"No!"

"Gotta admit, he's got a nice bod," said Nabiki.

The five of them ducked as a student flew by them.

"What's that?!" asked Ukyou.

"Cute butt too," said Yuka, giggling.

"I don't believe you guys!" said Ukyou, but couldn't surpress a
little smile.

"Fine, fine, you don't have a thing for him," said Nabiki in a
sarcastic tone.

"Riiiight," agreed Akari.

They watched in silence as Ranma sweep-kicked a wave of
Stormtroopers away.

"It has been a while since he left, though, hasn't it?" asked Yuka.

"Three days now," said Sayuri.

"Come on, you know how Ryouga is," said Ukyou. "He's probably in
Kyoto by now. Right?"

"It is a possibility," said Nabiki. "The odds are likely."

"And you're not worried?" asked Akari.

"Of course not!" said Ukyou, looking mildly offended. <Ryouga,
where the heck are you, idiot?>

*

Ryoko polished the tables slowly, in lazy circles. Around... and
around...

"Hey, kid, something bothering ya?" asked King.

"I... well..."

"I thought you were on your way home after that big luncheon."

"I guess, well, Ryouga just dumped me, I think." Ryoko slumped in
a chair.

"Jeez, sorry to hear that," said King. She handed Ryoko a tall
glass of cola. "Have a soda on the house."

"Thanks, boss."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No... not really."

"Okay, you say so."

<I don't know why you said what you did> thought Ryoko,< But I'm
not giving up on you that easy, Ryouga.>

*

Meanwhile, somewhere out there....

"Excuse me, can you tell me where the Tendo Dojo is?"

"Que?"

"Um.... Donde... esta... Tendo Dojo?"

*

"Ah! What a day!" said Yuka. "I need a break!" She, along with
Sayuri, Ukyou, Akari, and Manami strolled out of the school, tired.

"And next week'll be filled with exams," sighed Sayuri.

"Poker night, tonight?" asked Manami, "maybe we can all study
after?"

"Sounds alright to me," said Ukyou.

"I, ah, can't make it tonight," said Akari.

"What? Why not?" asked Manami.

"Oooh, I bet she's got a hot date!" teased Yuka.

"Well..." squeaked Akari.

"WHAT?" the other girls yelled. "Who? Is he cute? When did you
meet him? Did he beat that sumo pig of yours?" they asked her.

"Oh my, look at the time, I'd better run or I'm gonna be late! See
you later!" Akari ran off.

"Details, we want details!" demanded Yuka.

*

Meanwhile, somewhere else, three shady gentlement were having a
conversation in a cafe somewhere.

"What happened to you?"

"I'd rather not say."

"So, what's the plan?"

"We're all a little low on cash right now, eh?"

"Yeah."

"True."

"Gentlemen, she's a bit on the gullable side, doesn't suspect a
thing, and she's the daughter of a rather wealthy family."

"You're not suggesting..."

"Hey, wait a minute now..."

"Is this hesitation I sense? I know you two are nearly at the end
of your finances."

"But this-"

"C'mon, it's too-"

"This will be a safe operation."

"Wait a-"

"We can't-"

"Care to be homeless and broke?"

The other two remained silent.

"So... are you in?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Alright... but nobody gets hurt, okay?"

"Of course," lied Ryo. "Wait a minute.... oh my."

"What?"

"I'm supposed to be meeting her now. Adieu, gents."

*

[The next day...]

Akane walked over to Ranma's room and prodded him until he was
awake.

"Uhm... I'm awake, I'm awake."

"C'mon, get up, we'll be late."

"What day izzit?"

"Kendo."

"Kendo?"

"Kendo."

"I really hate Kendo."

And so, Friday in Furinkan High began, as usual.

"Where is that idiot," muttered Ukyou as she watched Ranma and
Akane dive into a sea of kendo practicioners..

"C'mon, you said that Ryouga could take care of himself," said
Sayuri.

"Yeah, but he's been gone for four days now..."

"You know how he is, he's probably in New York or somewhere else,"
said Sayuri.

"But still, I dunno, I..."

"Hey, you're not actually worried about him, are you?" asked Yuka.

"I bet she is!" teased Sayuri.

"OF course I'm not!" yelled Ukyou.

"Duck," said Nabiki.

The four of them ducked as several kendoists flew past then and
into the classroom behind them.

They lapsed into momentary silence and watched as Ranma hit Kuno
315 times with the tenshin-amaguri-ken technique.

"I'm just worried about him AS A FRIEND!" yelled Ukyou.

"So you are worried about him!" said Sayuri and Yuka.

"So what?" she shot back.

Ranma watched in surprise as Kuno arose from the ground, still
ready to fight. Ever since the accident that landed them in the
hospital, Kuno's endurance seemed to be up.

"Isn't that sweet?" asked Sayuri.

"Touching, really," said Yuka.

"Cut it out guys," grumbled Ukyou.

Akane kicked Kuno in the gut, and Ranma followed with another
barrage of punches. Kuno flew back into a tree, but got up once more,
only slightly worn down.

"I FIGHT ON!" he declared.

"Wow, Kuno-chan's endurance has _improved_," said Nabiki.

"Oh, so you're after Kuno, Nabiki?" asked Ukyou.

"No, not really."

"I heard you were dating that Isamu guy, is that true?" asked Yuka.

"I decline to comment at this time," said Nabiki with a smirk.

"I SHALL SMITE THEE!!!" roared Kuno as he charged at Ranma. A
streak of lightning ran across the sky, and for a moment Ranma thought
he saw an odd purplish aura flicker around his foe.

"How he does that, I'll never know," mused Nabiki.

"Oh jeez, we're gonna be late!" said Yuka, staring at her watch.

"Hey! Ranma! Hurry up!" yelled Nabiki.

"He shall be joining his ancestors in but a moment!" ranted Kuno as
he slashed wildly, demolishing another part of the Furinkan High
walls. His bokken seemed to flicker occasionally with a dark aura
accompanying every swing.

"I'm trying, okay?!?!" Ranma yelled back, springing off a wall and
smashing a knee into Kuno's head. Akane followed up with a kick to
Kuno's gut, which once again, knocked him off of his feet, and finally
knocked him out.

"Jeez," said Ranma, breathing hard, "what's with Kuno?"

"He used to fall down A LOT faster," said Akane.

For the last several weeks, in fact, Tatewaki Kuno had displayed a
remarkable and alarming endurance. Where once he would have been
knocked out easily, he now merely took the hit and fought ever onward.
Basically, he was approaching levels of endurance rivaling Ranma's,
which was high indeed.

The school bell rang.

"Oh great, we're late," muttered Ranma.

As the students grudgingly went to their seats, Sayuri walked by
and nudged Akari. "Psst, you're gonna tell us about your date, ne?"

Akari blushed. "Later, later! The teacher's coming!"

"But you _will_ tell us, ne?"

*

Great, she sighed to herself, I love this class.

Ukyou sat in economics class, occasionally fidgeting, definitely
bored.
She dealt with economics every day, since she was running the
restaurant, and she strongly felt that sitting through this class was
incredibly redundant.

Ukyou did what every bored student did when this crisis hits them.

She doodled.

She scribbled out spatulas, and okonomiyakis, and every now and
then, a figure with a bandanna with the word "STUPID" written over it.

<Where is that idiot anyways> wondered Ukyou.

"Kuonji."

<Stupid jerk. Doesn't even call to say that he's alright.>

"Ukyou Kuonji."

<Not that *I* care if that idiot gets himself lost in Bangladesh,
or Australia, or... or... whatever!>

"KUONJI!"

Ukyou snapped to attention. "WHAT?! WHAT?!"

"That's it! BUCKET! HALL! NOW!"

[A moment later... ]

"So, what're you out here for?" asked Ranma.

"I, er, wasn't paying attention in class," muttered Ukyou. "And
you two?"

"Late," said Akane.

"Jeez, these are kinda heavy," said Ukyou, lifting up a bucket of
water.

"Ya get used to it," said Ranma, "and besides, it builds strength.
Just look at Akane. I mean, she's strong as a gorilla an-" *WHAP*

"Shut up!" yelled Akane.

"Jeez! What'd I say?"

After a two minute argument, which seemed to Ukyou (and an alarming
number of Furinkan High students) like it was a badly written script
involving the use of the word 'Tomboy' and 'Jerk'(but, noted some
Ranma & Akane observers, lacked that certain nasty edge that their
past arguments had), things settled into an uneasy sort of silence.

Ukyou couldn't stand it.

"Hey, ah, any of you guys heard from Ryouga lately?" she asked.

"Lost boy? He's probably in Australia or somethin'."

"You mean he hasn't been back yet?" asked Akane.

"Nope."

"And the dance is tonight too," said Akane.

"Hm? What's that supposed to mean?" wondered Ukyou.

"He was going to take you to the dance, right?"

"What? NO!"

"C'mon, you want him to, don't ya," teased Ranma.

"Oh shut up."

*

Meanwhile...

"Excuse me, can you tell me where Tokyo is?" asked a somewhat
ragged and exhausted Ryouga.

The store owner blinked and pointed to a spot _behind_ Ryouga, who
turned around to see skyscrapers decorating the skyline.

"Oh, I'm here?!?!"

The storekeeper nodded slowly.

"THAT'S GREAT! Now tell me which way to Nerima?"

The storekeeper pointed south.

"Thanks!"

It would be stating the obvious to say that Ryouga went the wrong
way despite the directions, but it has to be said.

He went the wrong way.

*

Sunset, Nerima...

Ukyou closed up shop a little early, feeling tired for some reason.
She hung up the sign, locked up the doors, then sat down in a chair,
giving off a sigh.

Moments later, a chair flew out of the front door, propelled by a
mighty swing of Ukyou's combat spatula. It hit a lamp pole with a
loud *CLANG* and sagged to the floor. Surprisingly, the chair wasn't
damaged, but instead sprouted a head and some limbs and wobbled off.
The lamp pole was ruined.

"Wow, not a scratch," said Tsubasa as he wobbled down the street.

"AND STAY OUT!!!" yelled Ukyou, and slammed the door shut.

"Just great," she muttered, "one hell of a day, really."

Ukyou changed into her house clothes, a simple t-shirt and shorts,
and promptly became one with the nation, via the miracle of tv.

She had one thing on her mind, or to be accurate, one thing that
she decided was not on her mind.

<Who cares if the dance is tonight. Who cares if I'm missing it.
Who cares if everyone thinks I've got a thing for Ryouga. Not me,
dammit.>

The front doors clattered a bit.

"Ryouga? You there?"

Ukyou went to the front doors and checked, but they were still
locked.

"Just the wind, I guess," she said to nobody in particular.

She wandered back into the residential part of Ucchan's, and paused
as she passed by the attic stairs. Ukyou stood there for a moment,
climbed up the stairs, knocked on the attic door, and peeked in.

Empty.

<Why did I even bother.>

She sighed, not feeling peaceful enough to vegitate in front of the
television, not energetic enough to go out.

Ukyou did the only thing left that she knew might ease.

*

Ryouga, crawling on his hands and knees, exhausted, reached weakly
for the backdoor of Ucchan's.

"I... I made it back..."

He touched the doorknob and pulled.

It was locked.

He tugged on the door.

"IEEE! THIEF! BURGLAR!"

"What the..." stuttered Ryouga.

*WHAM*WHAM*WHAM*

"Owww."

Ukyou stopped swinging madly with her megaspatula and paused to
look at who she was hitting.

"Oh! Ryouga! I'm sorry! C'mon, let's get you in the house."
And so, after several days of being lost, tired, and desperate,
Ryouga finally was dragged back 'home'. Although he wasn't conscious
enough to notice it at the time.

*

Gosunkugi was, for once, happy.

Ever since he got a bit sharper with his magic, he'd been dazzling
his fellow students with minor yet rather nifty magic tricks.

Tonight, for instance, the dance was not illuminated by light
bulbs, but by nice fuzzy glowing spheres cast where light bulbs would
normally be. Needless to say, he gained much respect, quickly.

Tonight, he was dressed fairly well, in a nifty blue suit, white
shirt, and nondescript tie, and his date was in a somewhat elegant
light blue dress. They matched rather well.

And now... and now... they were slow dancing.

This, in Hikaru Gosunkugi's short life, was a major milestone.

Meanwhile, Ranma and Akane were also slow-dancing, but rather
cautiously.

"Watch your feet."

"I am, jerk."

"Slow down, I'm supposed to lead. Tomboy."

"Is that so?"

"Yup."

Some things never change.

And so, amongst the swirl of the crowds, these two couples swayed,
content in their own...

"You stepped on my foot again."

"You got in the way."

... unique way.

The music died down for a brief break, and the couples on the dance
floor of the gym moved to the sides and idly chattered.

"I guess Ryouga isn't coming after all," said Akane.

"Probably in Alaska or somethin'," said Ranma. "Saaaay, you seen
Daisuke or Hiroshi anywhere?"

"Well, I think I saw Hiroshi talking to some girl named Hiroe."

"Hiroshi and Hiroe... hm, sounds catchy."

"What's with the lights?" asked Akane.

"What about'em?"

"Look, a few of them are getting kinda dim."

"Better ask Gosunkugi about it."

Gosunkugi noticed. It started when the couples started dancing
again. There was this... this _area_ where the lights that he cast
briefly faded for some reason, and that area seemed to be moving
around. As Manami held his hand while they sat at a table, Gos stared
out into the crowd, curiosity demanding to find out what was causing
his magic to fade out there.

He stared in shock as that dark area swept by him, with his 'twin'
at the center of it, gliding across the floor, dancing.

Akari swayed in Ryo's arms, surprised to finally find someone that
was good enough to beat her pig, and so much a gentleman too.

Ryo smiled, but not for the obvious reasons.

Oddly enough, neither noticed the dim lights.

Also noticed by none, Tatewaki Kuno prowled along, searching for
his pig-tailed goddess. And the lights around him dimmed too,
although people generally attributed this to him being dim.

*

"Um, sorry about that," said Ukyou, somewhat embarrased.

"S... s'okay, I understand," replied a somewhat battered Ryouga,
who was sprawled on the living room couch. Four days of global travel
and a beating by spatula left him totally exhausted.

Ukyou sat in the lounger, Ryouga continued to melt into the couch.

There was an awkward silence. Ryouga didn't like it. It seemed
that he'd been having to deal with long awkward silences more
nowadays.

"So, um, what'd I miss?" asked Ryouga nervously.

"Hm? Not much, not much. There's some homework you might've
missed. Better ask your classmates about that."

"Yeah."

"There's also that dance tonight," said Ukyou in an
I-don't-really-care tone of voice.

"Dance?"

"School dance."

"Ranma and Akane are there, I guess."

"Yeah."

There was another moment of awkward silence.

"I, ah, I'm sorry I'm late," said Ryouga.

"Late? For what?" wondered Ukyou.

"Er, I mean, lost. Sorry I got lost."

"Oh, okay."

Once more, there was a total absence of noise.

"Well, I didn't want to go anyways," said Ukyou.

"Go?"

"Um, to the Spring Dance."

"Oh."

"How about... how about you?"

"Me?" asked Ryouga, "I can't dance anyways, it wouldn't matter."

"You don't know how to dance?"

"No."

"Not at all?" she asked, surprised.

"Not really," he admitted.

"Aw, at least slow dance. Anyone can do that."

"Actually, I've never even tried. Being lost all the time, I never
really had much time to, well, dance."

"Ooh, so that's why you didn't want to go to the club."

Ryouga nodded.

"And no wonder you didn't win over Akane. Can't dance, can't even
tell her you like her, and you freaked out around her way too much,"
teased Ukyou.

"HEY!"

"Just teasin' ya, lost boy!"

"Hrmph."

"Oh, c'mon, I'll show ya!"

"What?!"

"C'mon, it's fun. Easy too. You've got to know how to dance in
SOME way, Ryouga. How else are ya gonna win over the next lucky girl
you go after?"

"Good point." Ryouga shrugged.

"Hold on, lemme see, I've got a CD around here somewhere... Ah,
here it is! Of course, I don't know half of what they're saying, but
still, the music sounds nice."

Ukyou turned on her CD player and put in a CD. A somewhat slow
tune began to play.

Generally, a nice tune, although Ryouga couldn't understand most of
it.

It was in English.

o/" When the night has come o/"
o/" And the land is dark o/"
o/" And the moon is the only light we'll see o/"

"Sounds kinda old," said Ryouga.

"I think the Americans call it Motown," answered Ukyou.

"Motown?"

"Don't ask. Anyways, here's how it works. Stand up a sec,
willya?"

"Alright, alright." Ryouga got up slowly.

"Okay, now, you put your hands on my hips."

"What?!?!"

o/" No, I won't be afraid o/"
o/" No, I won't be afraid o/"

Ukyou bapped Ryouga on the head. "It's dancing, not groping. Stop
thinkin' perverted thoughts. I'm just teaching you, got it?"

"Oh, ah, aheheh, sorry."

o/" Just as long o/"
o/" as you stand o/"
o/" stand by me o/"

"Now, your hands on my sides..."

Ryouga put his hands on her sides, just above her hips.

"And your dance partner will usually put her hands on your
shoulders like this..."

Ukyou put her hands on his shoulders.

"Now what?" asked Ryouga.

"Just sway a bit."

o/" So darling, darling o/"
o/" Stand, by me, o/"

"Ow!" yelled Ukyou.

"Sorry! Sorry!"

"Slow down a bit, and watch your feet."

"I said I was sorry!"

"Okay, okay, now shut up and relax."

o/" Oh, stand by me o/"
o/" Oh stand o/"
o/" stand by me o/"
o/" stand by me o/"

"Hey, this isn't hard," said Ryouga.

"See? Easy, huh?"

"Yeah... it is."

Ryouga began to relax, forgetting that he had a rather cute girl in
his arms, and swayed to the music, relaxed.

Ukyou forgot that she was in the arms of a rather attractive young
man, and relaxed, putting her head on his shoulder. Either Ryouga
didn't notice, or didn't mind.

o/" If the sky that we look upon o/"
o/" should tumble and fall o/"
o/" or the mountains should crumble to the sea o/"
o/" I won't cry, I won't cry o/"
o/" no I won't shed a tear o/"

"Wish I could've danced with Akane like this," sighed Ryouga.

"Wish I could've danced with Ranchan like this too," said Ukyou.

They looked at each other briefly, then laughed.

"Pathetic, aren't we?" asked Ukyou.

"Seems like it," said Ryouga.

o/" just as long o/"
o/" as you stand o/"
o/" stand by me o/"

"Hey, Ukyou."

"Hm?"

"Thanks for the dance lesson."

"No problem. S'what friends are for, right?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Just don't ask me to teach ya the Lambada."

"The what?"

"Never mind."

o/" So darling, darling, o/"
o/" stand by me o/"
o/" oh, stand by me o/"
o/" oh stand o/"
o/" stand by me o/"
o/" stand by me o/"

-end part 6-

========================
THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

ACT 1

Part 7

To Socialize With The More Pleasant Circles of Nerima
=====================================================

Dinner time.

One of the most important and vital times of the day, especially if
you're in the Saotome household and have five people and one voracious
panda to feed.

Kasumi dug through the cabinets and shelves, but they were, for
today's dinner, lacking in neccessary ingredients.

Were Genma there, he'd certainly call it an emergency situation.

He wasn't there, but he would be in a moment.

Well, there was just one thing to be done, in that case.

"Father, I'll be out for a little while."

"Oh?"

"Just to the market, we're out of some supplies."

*

*RING!*

"Hello?"

//Um, is Manami there?//

"Yeah, this is Manami."

//Hi! This is Sayuri! What are you up to?//

"Not too much, but you caught me on my way out..."

//Oh? Where're you going?//

"It's nothing really, just out with a friend..."

//Out... as in... going out?

"No! It's just a small thing."

//Oh. I see.... hm. Well, I'm just calling to ask you if you're
going to be with us in the study group today?//

"Oh no, that's today?"

//You didn't forget, did you?//

"Er... well..."

//You did.//

"Well... yeah..."

//So... you can't come?//

"*sigh* I completely forgot. I'm gonna be out all day."

//Oooh reeeally... ?

"Um, yeah."

//So you ARE going on a date! *giggle*//

"No! It's not a date! He's just a friend! We're just having a
small picnic. That's all."

//That's all? All day... it *is* with a boy, right?//

"Yeah..."

//You're spending the day with a guy. Tell us the details later?//

"HEY!"

//Well, if you don't want to...//

"*sigh* We'll see."

//*Giggle!* So, who are you going with? Is it Gosunkugi?//

"..."

//Hello?//

"Why are you so nosey, anyway?"

//I'm just... curious how it is to have a boyfriend...//

"He's _not_ my boyfriend!"

//Oops. Sorry. *sigh* I wish you could make it tonight, I think
they're going to be playing cards tonight. It could be fun!//

"Hm, I don't know..."

//Come with us, please? Everyone will be there! Ranma and Akane
are coming. Hiroshi, Daisuke, Yuka, Akari, Ukyou and Ryouga will be
there too.//

"R-Ryouga? Oh, well... that sounds nice, but I don't know about
tonight. It really depends on what Hikaru-kun wants to do..."

//Oh.//

"Look, we'll see, okay? I'll ask him if he wants to go."

//Alright! Hope to see you there!//

"Yeah, we'll see. Look, I gotta run. I'll talk to you later,
right?"

//Okay! And keep us posted, okay?//

"Sayuri!"

//*Giggle*//

"Well, see you later! Ja!"

*CLICK*

A few minutes later...

"Hey! Gos-kun!"

Hikaru Gosunkugi blinked. He was in his room, and didn't expect
anyone yelling to his window. Gos cautiously poked his head out the
window, and was greeted by the sight of...

"M-Manami!"

Understand, the concept of Hikaru Gosunkugi WITH a girl was
something fairly alien to him, and the rest of Nerima as well.

"Hi! C'mon, s'great weather today! Let's go!"

"Go? Um, go where?"

*

Ryouga-chan sighed.

Some days, he (now a she) found out, Ukyou could be a real mean
lady.

Today was a good example.

"Ryouga! To the left!" yelled Ukyo.

He turned left.

Ryouga looked down at her waitress outfit and sighed in disgust.
Ukyo was the one that suggested it, since, after all, customers liked
pretty waitresses, not bumbling lost waiters. Ryouga did refuse, but
then Ukyo reminded him it was HER place he had been staying at, and at
NO expense at all, and basically saddled him with enough guilt to sink
a small boat. It was entirely unpleasant to him, now a her, the way
that the men would look at her. Ryouga just wanted to scream out "I'M
A GUY!" but it just wouldn't do under these circumstances.

"You went past it! Take a few steps back!"

He took a few steps back.

Mercifully, Ucchan's had shorter hours nowadays, partially because
Ukyo wanted more time off, and partially because she could afford it
now that Nabiki was her investment broker.

"No, no, no! Ya went too far! Go forward again!"

Ryouga grumbled something about pushy women and took a few steps
forward. She checked her watch. There were two minutes, two minutes
left until closing. Ryouga couldn't wait.

"Excuse me, Miss? That's my order," a rather refined voice said.

"Eh? Oh, here ya go." Ryouga unceremoniously dumped a plateload
of Okonomiyaki at a table and started to walk off. Her hand was
grabbed.

"Miss, allow me to thank you for your service."

"What are y*MMPFH*"

Ukyo looked up from her grill, wondering if Ryouga was finally done
delivering that order yet. "Hey, Ryouga, didja... a.... oh boy."

And thus, Ryouga Hibiki once again met Midako Sanzenin, although
this time under wildly different and (at least to Ryouga) unpleasant
circumstances.

"GETOFFFAME!" *WHAM*

And so, on this day, Ukyo got a new skylight too.

"Oh well, it was closing time anyways. C'mon, lost girl, I need to
get some stuff at the market."

"AT LEAST GIMMIE SOME HOT WATER FIRST! And STOP LAUGHING!!!"

*

To sleep, perchance to dream, unless a sibling is in the room...

"Onii-san."

Ryo was comfortably unconscious in a fairly small roll-up blanket
on the floor. It wasn't grand living, but it was wasn't expensive
either.

"Onii-san!"

There was this noise, however that was bugging him...

"ONII-SAN!"

And it just wouldn't go away...

"OOOOOONIIIIIIIII-SAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAT?!"

"We're outta breakfast stuff," pouted Kyoko, standing next to him.

Ryo looked at his youngest sister, a blank expresson on his face.

"And...?"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT BREAKFAAAAAAAAAAST!!!"

Ryo winced from the decibel level. "Fine, fine..."

A moment later, a side door that shouldn't have been there opened
up, and Ryo slipped away quietly from a nondescript apartment house.

*

"Isn't it poker night tonight?" asked Ryouga.

"Yup, that and a study group, s'gonna be at Ranchan's tonight."
Ukyo hmmed and looked around the aisles, pushing a cart full of
groceries.

"Who's in?"

"Hm... me, Ranchan, Akane, Yuka, Hiroshi, maybe some others."

"Sounds nice."

"Gonna come?"

Ryouga shrugged. "Not much else to do."

"Hey, grab some of those waffles, will ya?"

"Hm?"

Ukyo bapped him jokingly. "You. Waffles. There." She pointed to
a direction. "I'll be there in a sec, just wait for me, okay?"

"Oh, ah, right!" Ryouga scratched his head, grinned, and walked
off.

Ukyo bapped him again. "THAT way."

"Oh... ah, sorry."

Ryouga walked off, in the -correct- direction this time, and sure
enough, saw a freezer bin full of waffles. He reached down, grabbed a
box... and felt someone's hand as well.

Ryouga looked up, and scowled.

Ryo looked up, and scowled.

"Leggo," said Ryo through clenched teeth, "of my Eggo."

"No," replied Ryouga, through equally clenched teeth, "you let
go... of MY Eggo."

"I said," repeated Ryo, "Leggo of _my_ Eggo."

*wham*wham*wham*wham*wham*wham*wham*wham*wham*wham*wham*

*BOOM*

Ukyo pushed her cart full of groceries over to Ryouga, who was for
some reason on the floor, dazed, and badly beaten.

"Hey, what happened to you?" she asked.

He mumbled something incomprehensible and tossed up a crused box of
Eggos.

"Aw, Ryouga! Why'd you get a crushed box? Jeez." She tossed the
box aside and grabbed a new one. Amazingly, she didn't notice the
Gosunkugi-shaped, or, to the more sharp-of-vision, the Ryo-shaped hole
in the roof.

*

And so, Hikaru Gosunkugi, for the first time in his life, was
having what could be described as a lunch picnic date. Of course, if
one asked the girl, it WASN'T a date, but still, Hikaru would take
what he could get. He was that kind of guy. There he was, with a
cute girl, sitting under a nice, shady tree... and... and they'd been
just sitting there, shy about everything... eating, glancing at each
other occasionally.

He sighed. It was a totally alien experience.

"Something wrong, Gos-kun?"

"Well, it's just that I... er..."

There was a small dot on the horizon, getting bigger.

He wanted to say it, he WANTED to say it, but he just couldn't get
the words out.

"Gos-kun?" asked Manami curiously.

{GAH! IT'S NOW OR NEVER!} "Manami, I L-"

*WHAM*

Manami shrieked. Gosunkugi stared.

Gosunkugi's 'evil twin' slowly and agonizingly pulled himself from
out of the tree.

"Damn that Hibiki," he muttered. Ryo carelessly got up,
accidentally stepping all over Gosunkugi's lunch. Gosunkugi's nerve
was shattered, the moment was ruined. "Oh. Hello, Gosunkugi.
Goodbye, Gosunkugi."

And for Gosunkugi, moments like those were few and rare.

Ryo brushed himself off and began to walk away.

"H-hold... it... right... t-there."

Manami's eyes were wide in surprise.

Ryo slowly turned around, impatience showing on his face.

Gosunkugi sounded... astonishingly... angry.

"Yesss?" hissed Ryo.

Gos gave Manami a serious look. "You'd b-better get away, Manami."

"Gos?" she squeaked.

Ryo narrowed his eyes. So the mouse wanted to fight, hm? He
raised a gloved fist, and charged it with ki energy.

Gosunkugi concentrated, and swirls of blue began to surround him.

Manami backed away a safe distance and watched.

"T-this wa-was a truely happy day for me... then YOU RUINED IT!"
stammered Gosunkugi. "DAMN YOU!" Purely by instinct, he pointed flung
his arms forward. A fireball suddenly zoomed down from the heavens
and slammed into Ryo, exloploding with a burst of red, throwing up
clouds, dust, and debris, shaking the earth.

Gosunkugi stared at his arms in amazement. "I... I did it!"

From a distance, Manami stared, surprised. She knew Gosunkugi was
a magician, but she never knew he was THAT powerful.

"I DID IT!!!" Gosunkugi raised his fist in the air, feeling the
rush of triumph.

*cough*cough* "You pathetic copy of me *cough* I'll KILL YOU!"

Gos staggered back, in shock, as an angry, coughing, and totally
unscathed Ryo emerged from the crater.

Ryo narrowed his eyes and approached Gosunkugi. He didn't have his
umbrella with him, but he felt that in this case, he wouldn't need it.

"DIE!" Ryo charged at Gosunkugi, fists burning with energy.

<OhmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodGETMEOUTTAHERE!> thought Gosunkugi.

*POOF*

Ryo skidded to a halt.

He looked around.

"COWARD!!!" he roared. Ryo heard a small -poof- and a tiny 'eep',
and turned around to see an utterly confused Gosunkugi.

"GOTCHA!" Ryo swung a fist...

*POOF*

... and Gosunkugi was gone. Again.

Meanwhile, a few feet away, Gosunkugi reappered in a puff of smoke.
This whole teleportation thing was alarmingly new to him. He looked
around, confused, and saw that Ryo was surprised too. Gosunkugi took
advantage of the moment and concentrated again...

*KABOOOM*

Despite the clear sky, a lightning bolt struck, making yet another
crater in the ground. Ryo once again climbed out of a deep hole in
the ground, shaken but otherwise unscathed, and charged at Gosunkugi,
who again *POOF*ed away... it settled into a pattern of *KABOOM* 'grr'
-charge- *POOF* 'eh?' *KABOOM* etc etc etc...

"STAND YOUR GROUND, COWARD!"

*POOF*

"DAMN YOU!!!"

*KABOOM*

Manani, from a fairly safe distance, watched all this and sighed.

"Grrr..."

"Eep!"

*POOF*

"STAND AND FIGHT!!!"

*ZAPPP*

So much for a nice, quiet day. But at least Gosunkugi was showing
that he got -alot- better at magic than before. An amazing
improvement, really.

Suddenly, it felt... drafty.

"Why hello there!" said a 2-foot troll, waving around some panties.

HER panties.

"EEEEP! PERVERT!" Manami screamed, scrambling away.

Gosunkugi and Ryo paused in their 'battle' and looked at what was
causing the commotion, and that's when Happosai decided to bolt once
more.

"See ya, boys!" he yelled as several objects hit the ground.

Gosunkugi rushed towards Manami, asking "A-are you alright?"

In shock from her close encounter with the Perverted Kind, she
nodded. "Y-yeah... I think, um, I need to go home, now."

Ryo stood his ground, but looked at the retreating form of
Happosai. Indecision gripped him. The hunter within him wanted to
pursue Happosai, just for the thrill of it. The voice of reason
reminded him that he didn't have his umbrella, and would probbably be
beaten senseless... that is, if what his sensei told him was true.

Then he wondered what that hissing noise was.

No... wait... he remembered that sound, it was the sound of bomb
fuses.

*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*

Gosunkugi blinked and turned around, but all he saw was a large
cloud of smoke. He didn't see the small dot that was flying away into
the neighborhood.

"What w-was that?" he wondered out loud.

*

Ryo Muhoshin landed with a -thud- against a concrete sidewall along
a sidewalk, a few blocks down the road. As he sat (crumpled,
actually) there, the world spun around his head, and his body
registered sore spots everywhere. It wasn't a good day so far. In
fact, it was turing out to be one hell of a bad day.

He got up, swaying unsteadily as he did so, and slowly brushed
himself off. The next person, he growled in his mind, that fouled
this once fine day would be hurt.

Badly.

He took a few deep breaths, blinked once, and then turned around
the corner, where he ran right into someone carrying a grocery bag.
Its contents burst out and splattered out on him.

Internally, Ryo was screaming.

Someone would have to be hurt.

"Oh my," said Kasumi.

*

Later that evening...

It was another round of poker at the Tendo Dojo, as Ranma, Akane,
Ukyo, Akari, Hiroshi, Daisuke, Yuka and Sayuri looked at the cards
dealt to them. In the background, a slight wailing was heard.

Yuka and Sayuri were fairly content, each having a pair.

Daisuke almost had a straight flush, but was missing one card.

Hiroshi almost had a straight, was short two cards.

Ukyo had a full house.

Ryogua had junk, but he was loathe to admit it, and so technically
was 'bluffing' while actually being just stubborn.

Akane had a full house. The irony was lost on her.

Ranma had a royal straight flush. Of course, he didn't know it.

"Aaah, I'm out, I got junk." Ranma tossed his cards aside in
disgust.

"And to think he actually beat the gambler king," muttered Ryouga.

"Once in a lifetime thing, I'm sure," added Ukyo.

"Probably," agreed Akane.

"Veeeeery funny, guys," growled Ranma.

"Hey, what's that awful sound?" asked Hiroshi.

"It's just Mr. Tendo," muttered Ranma. "Upset over something
again."

Genma stepped into the room. "Son, you've got a job to do."

"Not now, pop, I'm-"

"Kasumi is missing."

The room was suddenly silent. Everyone was fairly surprised.
Nothing ever happened to Kasumi. The sun rose, the sun set, there
were four seasons, and nothing bad ever happened to Kasumi. Well,
there was one incident involving demonic possession, but it was
actually a rather wimpy demon, and Kasumi came out of it totally
unhurt.

"Son, go out and look for her."

"We'll help too," said Akane. Everyone else in the room nodded
in agreement.

Thirty minutes later....

Ryouga stood under a streetlamp, feeling totally, utterly,
absolutely stupid. Sure, it was a nice, big, moment with everyone
volunteering to help, but he REALLY didn't think about it when HE ran
off into the night like an idiot hero.

And he, of course, got lost.

"WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOW!?!?!?!"

Ryouga sighed and leapt to a rooftop. He hoped that maybe he'd see
a familiar landmark, and start using that as a guide on where to go.

To his surprise, he saw Kasumi, walking down a dark street, at a
somewhat leisurely pace, pausing to look behind her, then walking
onward, carrying a few bags. Her shirt seemed to be stained with a
few dark splotches... to Ryouga they might've been a deep color of
red.

Then, like a shark emerging from the water, Ryo emerged from the
shadows, walking a few feet behind Kasumi and closing in fast. <How
dare he attack a helpless woman!> Ryouga sprang into action, jumped
off of the rooftop, and landed right between the two. "Kasumi, get
behind me!"

Kasumi tried to say something, but Ryouga, in his haste to pummel
Ryo, ignored it. "Muhoshin, how DARE YOU!"

"How... dare... I... _what_?" Ryo took a step back, and fixed a
menacing glare at Ryouga.

Ryouga took a few swings and kicks at Ryo, who did nothing but step
back or dodge, with an angry glare aimed at Ryouga all the time.

"HOW DARE YOU HURT KASUMI!!!" yelled Ryouga, zooming in with a
flying kick.

*

A few minutes later...

Akane and Ukyo met in the park, both looking worried and tired.

"No luck, huh?" asked Ukyo.

Akane shook her head slowly. There was a grim determination in her
manner. "I _will_ find her, I will..."

Suddenly, in the distance, the sound of a streetlamp crashing
shattered the quiet of the night.

"C'mon, it was this way!" yelled Akane. The two ran towards the
sound, where they found Kasumi behind Ryouga, her hand on his
shoulder, as another figure strolled into the night.

"Kasumi!" Akane ran to her sister and hugged her tightly. "We
were so worried about you!"

Ukyo looked at Ryouga in disbelief. "-You- found her?"

Ryouga frowned. "What's so surprising about that?" he protested.

"Well, without a compass you wouldn't be able to find your own a-"

"Akane, I'm okay, really!" Kasumi hugged her little sister to
reassure her. "I just took a little longer than I thought."

"Feh, foul-mouthed unappreciative cross-dresser," muttered Ryouga.

"What was that?" asked Ukyo, raising her spatula.

"Nothing."

"Why's your shirt all stained?" asked Akane as she looked over
Kasumi with worry.

"What did he do to you?" asked Ryouga, anger in his voice.

"Who?" asked Akane and Ukyo.

"Ryo! He was just here! I bet he did someth-"

"Mr. Muhoshin?" said Kasumi, "he payed for the groceries."

"-ing really terrible. What?"

"Well, I told him he didn't have to, since I was the one that ran
into him, but he insisted." The others stared at Kasumi as she
continued, "and then I just had to try and get those stains out of his
shirt. After all, it was my fault. So we went to his apartment
nearby and-"

"You went to his apartment?!?! What did he do to you?!" yelled
Akane.

"I met his family and he offered dinner, but I didn't think it was
appropriate to, really. His family was really nice. Such funny
neighbors too," she said with a giggle and a smile.

"He... offered you dinner?"

"And then I noticed he seemed to be hurt quite a bit, so I bandaged
him a little."

"You HELPED him?" asked Ryouga in disbelief.

"Well, he was hurt," justified Kasumi. "And then he offered to
walk me back."

The three looked at Kasumi as if expecting more. "And..?"

"And?" asked Kasumi. She blinked with much confusion.

"That's... all?" asked Ryouga.

Kasumi nodded. "Oh my, I really am late, aren't I. I hope father
isn't too upset."

*

Ryo Muhoshin walked home, slowly, whistling. Miss Tendo was quite
a surprise. The expression on his sisters faces was priceless. Even
Megane smiled a little in her presence. She was so... so... motherly.
Very much, in fact, like their own mother. Ryo frowned momentarily.
He didn't like to think back to when their parents... left. But
still, it was nice to be taken care of again, something they all
hadn't experienced in a long time.

Leave it to that idiot Hibiki to spoil the end of a nice evening.

A few minutes later, he stood in front of his apartment, mulling
over what to do next.

He wondered if he should bother going in the quiet way, but decided
against it. He was too tired for that, and it was already evening.
The neighbors, dreadful things that they were, should hopefully be
asleep. He crept through unfamiliar territory (the front door) and
made his way slowly to his room.

*

Once again, all was well in the Tendo Dojo. The elder Saotome and
Tendo resumed their eternal shogi match while Kasumi cleaned up the
post-dinner wreckage and everyone else was in the living room dealing
out cards.

"Hey, guys, don't you think it's kinda suspicous what Ryo did?"
asked Ukyo. "Think he's up to something?"

"Hope not," answered Ranma.

"At least Kasumi's alright," said Akane.

"I don't like it," said Ryouga, "he's up to something."

"Oh well... another exciting night in Nerima," sighed Ukyou.
"C'mon, Ranchan, deal out the cards."

Meanwhile, Kasumi went over to talk with Soun and Gemna, but nobody
noticed.

"Father, there's someone that wants to..."

*

TWO DAYS LATER...

This had caught Ranma entirely by surprise.

The Saotome/Tendo Dojo of Anything Goes Martial Arts had apparently
gained a new student. One that was carrying around some ridiculously
large hair-styling equipment. The ridiculous size of the weaponry was
emphasized by her short stature and the fact that she was only twelve
years old.

Twelve year old girls, in Ranma's opinion, shouldn't be carrying
around five foot tall razors.

And even more importantly, he thought, he shouldn't be having to
participate in 'babysitting' the child. After all, he may be the one
to 'inherit' the dojo, but it wasn't his _yet_. The job should've
fallen primarily to his dad and Mr. Tendo. When asked about it, he
was simply told, as he expected, "it's part of your training, boy!"
It made him feel a little better that Akane would be there, if only
just to watch.

Of course, part of the worry was about her swinging around that
ridiculous blade of hers around recklessly. That fear was immediately
eased when he was told that she was not going to be allowed to use
weapons in her training, which was how Anything Goes usually went
anyways. As to why, they simply told her that her brother made the
request, and stressed it strongly.

And so it came to this, a fine afternoon, with Mr. Saotome, Mr.
Tendo, Ranma, and the bubbly little girl with the shiny big razor.

"Pop, she got any martial arts training?" he asked.

"Only with weapons. Without them, she is untrained..."

Suddenly, Kyoko rushed forward, grabbed Ranma by the hand, and
flung him out the door and into the pond.

"...except in a little judo," finished Genma.

A sputtering, bewildered Ranma-chan rose from the pond, while Kyoko
looked at her curiously. She tugged Soun's wrist and asked, "Um...
who's that lady? An'wha'happened to Ranma-sensei?"

"That's... ah..." said Soun, unsure of how he should answer that
particular question. Usually, the Saotomes wanted to curses kept a
secret. "That's Ranko, Akane's cousin!"

"Ooooh. Hihi Ranko-san!"

"She... shall be your sensei as well," said Genma, patting her on
the shoulder. That was a mistake.

"Hey old man," snarled Ranma-chan, "what's the big idea not telling
me about ACK-"

*SPLASH*

And now there was an irate girl and a panda in the pond. Off to
the side, Akane couldn't help but laugh at the two great martial
artists that had just been flung across the backyard.

"It ain't funny!" protested Ranma-chan, slowly getting out of the
pond.

"Oh, don't be such a crybaby, Ranma," Akane shot back.

Kyoko blinked. "Wai! Cute panda! Can I play with it?" She raced
towards it happily and put it in a surprisingly effective headlock.
It took a little convincing by Akane to get her to release 'Mr.
Panda', and they had a little talk about when it is and isn't okay to
throw people.

After 'Ranko' and 'Mr. Panda' headed upstairs to take a bath, and
Mr. Saotome and son returned, they drilled her through the basic
stances of kempo for several hours. She wasn't bad, and seemed to be
a quick learner. Despite the occasional toss into the
pond/wall/ceiling/floor, she was liked by them all. It was hard to
stay mad at a 12 year old girl that was on a perpetual happy-mood.

After practice was done, Akane took it upon herself to take care of
their guest, offering her drinks and snacks as they rested in the
dojo.

"Thank you for the hospitality, oneechan," said Kyoko happily.

"So, how do you like it here?" asked Akane. "Having fun?"

"Mm-hm!"

"My dad isn't being too tough on you, is he?" asked Akane jokingly.

Kyoko giggled. "He's funny."

"Is he alot like your dad?" wondered Akane. A girl with her
personality surely must have had fun-loving parents... although it
failed to explain why her older brother was a jerk.

"Daddy? He's... gone," said the little girl, her mood slipping a
bit lower than full bubbly happiness. She was still smiling, it was
just tainted with the smallest trace of melancholy.

"Oh... I'm sorry." Akane looked at her, shocked. It was amazing
that the girl was so... bubbly... considering a tragedy like that.

"Mommy too," she added, her smile fading a little more. "They left
a long time ago, I don't remember much."

Akane found herself at a loss for words, not really knowing what to
say to the girl. Instead, she gave her a hug. "So... who watched
over you when your parents left?" she asked.

"Hm..." Kyoko seemed to be putting some serious thought into the
question. "Um... Sensei Miyaji... he was kinda like a daddy..." said
she, looking as if she was thinking things over, "oh, oniisan too."

"Ryo?" asked Akane.

"Mm-hm."

"Isn't he... mean sometimes?"

Kyoko blinked. "Um... he yells alot, but he always helps me."

Now that they were on the topic of _him_, Akane decided to ask what
was worrying her.

"Was your brother... did he yell at Kasumi?"

"Oh no, he was nice," said Kyoko, "we all were."

"Why was he so nice?" wondered Akane. "I mean, he's usually..."

"You think he's mean, ne?" asked Kyoko bluntly.

Akane was thrown off by the bluntness of the statement. "Well, er,
I mean..."

"That's okay, he knows. He's not nice to people."

"And you're not bothered by that?" wondered Akane.

She shrugged. "That's the way he is."

"So... why was he nice?"

"Hm? Oh, well Ryo an'Ryoko an'Megane say she's alot like mommy."

"Like... your mom?

Kyoko nodded. "Ryo and Ryoko and Megane really miss her."

"I... I'm sorry. I didn't know..."

Kyoko frowned. "It's okay."

"I know how you feel, with your mother gone. Mine's gone too."

"Oh." Kyoko ummed for a moment, looking a little worried, then
tapped Akane on the shoulder.

"Hm?"

"Need a hug?" asked Kyoko.

Akane smiled, wondering how in the world this little girl turned
out to be so... so... unlike her brother. "Sure, thanks."

They hugged briefly, enjoying a little bit of sisterly affection.

"Ryoko always felt better after a hug," said Kyoko. "Do you?"

Akane nodded. "Thanks."

"Any time."

"So, you'll make sure Ryo treats Kasumi nice, right?" asked Akane,
patting Kyoko on the back.

"Well," she replied uncertainly, "Ryo hasn't been mean to her like
he is to everyone else... but I'll make sure!"

"Thanks, Kyoko-chan."

Kyoko looked around, as if making sure nobody else was around, then
whispered, "ya wanna know a secret?"

"A secret?"

Kyoko nodded, giggling.

"Um... sure."

"Don't tell anyone I told you, okay?" she whispered.

"Okay," whispered Akane, playing along with whatever Kyoko was
doing.

"Ryo thinks you're reeeealy noisy."

Akane blinked.

"NOISY?! What does he mean, noisy?!"

"Um," said Kyoko, "well... um... RANMA YOU JERK! HOW DARE YOU
RANMA! RANMA, EAT MY COOKING! RANMA-"

"I get the idea, I get the idea! Shhh!" Akane looked around
nervously, trying to make sure nobody heard.

"Hey! Somebody callin'me?!" yelled Ranma from the house.

"No! Nothing here!" lied Akane.

A moment later, Kasumi walked in and asked, "Akane, have you seen
my butcher's knife? I can't seem to find it."

"Um... I think I put it in the bottom cabinet," replied Akane.

"Are you cooking?" asked Kyoko curiously.

"Why yes, I am," said Kasumi.

"Can I help? Pleeeeease?" asked Kyoko, hopping around the eldest
Tendo daughter. "Pleasepleasepleaseplease?"

Kasumi laughed and patted Kyoko on the head. "Well, if you're
careful and do everything I say, okay?"

"Okaaay!"

*

Dinner was ready, but it seemed that Mr. Tendo and Saotome had
stepped out to the store to buy something. Kasumi reasoned that it
shouldn't take them too long (especially when Dinner was awaiting
them) and decided to wait until they came back before starting. Also,
it wouldn't do to start before the guests arrived either.

This left Kyoko in a state of utter boredom. She was quite fond of
Kasumi, but not fond enough to sit there and watch her do dishes. She
was, however, fond enough of her to give it a try. After one minute,
she decided that it just wasn't going to work and set out to wander
about the Tendo home.

"Aaaugh, stupid homework." Ranma quickly erased the mathematical
calculations he had tried, adding in a little tenshin amaguriken speed
to it unconsciously. A second later, he crumpled up the paper (now
with a hole in it) and tossed it in the (quickly filling) wastebasket.
The smell of dinner distracted him, and he decided to try working on
the material on a full stomach. After all, his father seemed to make
less stupid mistakes when he was fed.

A few minutes later, Ranma returned to his room bitterly
unfulfilled. The old man had stepped out, delaying dinner, and that
left him with nothing but a drink and a small bag of chips.

He was surprised to see Kyoko sitting at the desk when he
re-entered his room and scribbling something on a paper. "Hey, kid,
what're you doing up here?"

"Bored," she said, simply.

"Oh." He thought on this for a moment. Normally, if he was bored,
he'd ask somebody to spar. Given Kyoko's irritating habit of throwing
him (or anyone, actually) into the pond, however, that was not an
option.

Kyoko turned the page in Ranma's text book.

"What're you doing?" he asked.

"Equations."

"Um... oh." Well, that was odd, wasn't it? What kind of little
kid does... wait a minute. Equations? "Hey, what equations?"

"These," she said, pointing to the book.

Ranma's jaw dropped. His ego was feeling a bit embarrased.

Kyoko had just done his homework.

And the assignments for the next week.

They also seemed to be right.

"No... no way," muttered Ranma.

"Hm?"

"Nothin," he muttered, flipping to the back of the book. He looked
at the answers. He looked at Kyoko's work.

It was right. Perfectly.

"Hey, how'd you..."

Kyoko shrugged. "S'easy."

"Um..." For a brief moment, pride battled neccessity. Necessity
won (improving its record to 138 wins and 1027 losses lifetime
record).

"Hey," he said, feeling somewhat embarrased, "can ya explain
something t'me? Like this problem here..."

*

Dinner at the Tendo home was slightly crowded, considering the size
of their table. In addition to the usual six people, three more were
seated. It could have been worse, though, considering one was
missing.

"Oh my," said Kasumi. "Where's Megane-kun?"

"Could it be he forgot?" wondered Ryoko.

Ryo sighed. "I don't think he'll coming. Miss Kasumi," he said,
sounding much more civil than most people were used to hearing, "I'm
afraid my brother won't be showing up. I apologize for his rude
behaviour."

"That's okay, no need to apologize, Muhoshin-san."

"Thank you, you're entirely too kind." He took his place at
the crowded table and smiled (an actual pleasant smile, something
few people had ever seen on his face). "Ah, thank you for this
magnificent feast."

"You're too kind," added Ryoko.

"I helped!" squeaked Kyoko.

"Thank you, everyone," said a smiling Kasumi. "Now let's start,
shall we?"

"Ah, Miss Kasumi?" asked Ryo a bit apprehensively.

"Yes, Muhoshin-san?"

"Is a panda normally at the dinner table?"

"Don't mind Mr. Panda," said Kasumi, soothing Ryo's concern, "he's
usually no trouble."

"Ah. I see."

*

Considering the circumstances, the dinner went alarmingly well.
There was no property damage, no bruises, and no-one yelled the name
of a rather silly-sounding special attack.

Kyoko, in fact, had prepared the following equasion beforehand:

O + Sr +Sa (T>M\675-{w`~G-56} D)
================================ = R + (Pd = 78 x N)
Gk + Mt + Pa + As (23)

Or, in terms better suited for those who aren't genius
12-year-olds, Ryo gets the stuffing beaten out of him after
causing a great deal of property damage and numerous injuries.

Either way was fine by her. She had been looking forward to seeing
Oniisan hit people, and had wanted to join in the fun as well. On the
other hand, dinner was fun, as she liked the sensei. And the other
sensei. And the other Tendos.

She also discovered that she liked repeating this fact on the way
home, mostly because of the interesting effect it had on Oniisan's
face.

"Sensei Ranma is the best fighter in the world! No-one can beat
him!"

Oooooh, that was a good one! Oniisan looked like he had just eaten
a goldfish!

She had also discovered a new need.

"When are we gonna get a panda? Huh? Huh?"

"Gag the dear child, Ryoko. Before I do something we all regret."

"I wanna panda!"

"Hey, I wasn't the one who let her have coffee after the meal.
Besides, maybe there's something in the idea."

"Sensei Ranma knows everythin' about fighting..."

"You want US...sorry, you want ME... to buy her a.....have you been
drinking?"

"Not a panda, stupid..."

"Wanna panda!"

"...I mean a pet of some sort."

"That has got to be the most idiotic..."

"I guess you're right. The neighbors would never stand for it."

Silence.

"It would irritate them, wouldn't it."

"They'd hate it."

"Panda, Oniisan?"

"Pipe down. Hmm... maybe something big....with huge teeth and a
habit for eating people other that it's owners...."

"A pit bull?"

"I said other than it's owners."

"Oh."

"Panda?"

"Never any duct tape around when you need it."

-end part 7-

phone bit written by 'Mihoshi'
end bit written by Mike Loader

The sun rose on yet another sunny Nerima Friday. The birds
chirped. Across the neighborhood, citizens began to scurry in the
daily rat race that was Modern Life.

========================
THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS
ACT 1
Part 8
Vengence of Noori
=================

In front of Furinkan High School, a team of Kendoists stood in the
yard, stretching and warming up in preperation for the day's events.
Tatewaki Kuno stood in front of them all, giving ranting speeches of
inspiration.

In Ucchans, Ukyou was up bright and early for the breakfast crowd.
The morning hours were brief, short enough for her to close down and
leave for school a half hour before it started. The profit from the
breakfast crowd made the early hours worth it.

Meanwhile, at the Tendo residence, Akane stomped upstairs to awaken
her beloved.

"WAKE UP, STUPID!!!" The echo of Akane's booming wake-up call
rattled the house. Normally, this would manage to get Ranma jumping
out of bed. Instead, he opened up one bleary eye and groaned.

"Aaaw... not s'loud, Akane," mumbled Ranma

"Ranma? Are you okay?" Akane knelt down next to him and put a
hand to his forehead. "You don't look so great."

"Don'feel so great," he grumbled. His head was throbbing, he was
sweating more than usual, and he had an incredible headache.

"Oh no..." Akane wiped Ranma's brow in an attempt to soothe him.
It was working fabulously. "I think we'd better call Doctor Tofu.
You're definitely sick."

"Sick? Me? I never... get sick." He sat up suddenly, pulled a
nearby trashcan to himself, and threw up. Then he flopped back down
on the bed, and Akane resumed massaging his head. She paused a moment
to go to the door, boot Soun, Genma, and their handicam down the
stairs, and closed it.

"Maybe I should stay here and take care of you?" she asked,
cradling his head in her lap.

"Nah... I'll be *ow the room is spinning* alright... Kasumi'll be
here, an' I don't want ya to miss anything 'cause of me." Ranma
managed a weak smile, and was rewarded with a quick kiss on the
forehead.

"I wonder how you got so sick. You never got sick before..."

"Coulda been... your cooking..."

She lightly bonked him on the forehead. "Shut up, you."

*

Ukyou strolled down the sidewalk, breathing in the morning air and
feeling, overall, mellow. There was nothing to get excited about, and
nothing to feel down about either.

Then she noticed something amiss in her surroundings.

"Ryouga?"

She looked around, a frown creeping across her face. Ukyou walked
around, looking carefully for that one head in the crowd with the
yellow bandanna, ran over to it, and gave it a good yank.

"RYOUGA!!!"

"OW! What'd you do THAT for?!"

"Wrong way, idiot."

"Oh."

After several more well-placed whaps to the head, Ukyou managed to
shepard Ryouga to Furinkan once more. Arriving a few minutes early,
they went to their classes and immediately took a window seat to view
the day's festivities. Today was Kendo Day, and everyone always
enjoyed watching the 'Blue Thunder' get knocked around.

*

As Akane Tendo approached the school, she noticed the courtyard
clearing out. Then, she finally remembered exactly what was nagging
on her mind. It was Kendo Day. She was alone. And Kuno had been
showing a remarkable amount of endurance for a while now.

<I wish Ranma was here... Wait a minute, I've always done this
_on_my_own_ and I can STILL handle it!>

Tossing back her bookbags and rolling up her sleeves, Akane Tendo
got ready to rumble.

*

"Hey, wait a minute," said Ryouga, "something isn't right here."

"Hm?" wondered Ukyou.

"She's... alone out there, against all those guys! That isn't
fair!"

"Might I remind you," said Nabiki calmly, "she used to do this
every day, against a bigger crowd, and on her own."

"Well... alright." Ryouga settled in with everyone else looking
out from the windows as Akane approached and the Kendo Club settled
into attack formation.

Akane watched the Kendo Team surround her, their eyes watching her
carefully. In the past, fighting hordes of boys was easy. A person
would think fighting hordes is hard, but when those hordes are badly
organized and are as likely to hit each other as much as hit you, the
odds improve a lot. The new way of doing things, however, fixed that.
There was a new sort of 'teamwork' ever since the various forces of
Furinkan had split up into units, and it proved to be a fair test of
skills.

But that was with Ranma at her side.

"Good Morning, Akane Tendo." The greeting snapped her out of her
thoughts and quickly reached in front of her to snatch something from
the air... a rose. Tatewaki Kuno stood in front of his team, looking
as smug as ever. He took a moment to close his eyes and breathe in
the fine morning air.

Then he ranted.

*

The students held their breaths as the kendo team and Akane faced
off. Everyone's eyes was watching for that one moment where the
tension would snap and the fighting would begin.

Someone sneezed.

Crickets chirped.

Akane watched them all carefully, awaiting that first attack.

Happosai streaked by in a flash hauling a bag of panties.

"ATTACK!"

With that mighty roar, Kuno surged forward with a flurry of
strikes. Akane dodged to one side, grabbing him by the arm, and
heaved him towards a crowd of Kendoists. As Kuno went flying, another
bunch of bokken wielding boys charged towards Akane, but were all
mowed down by a series of powerful sweeping kicks.

Meanwhile, a few floors up and watching from a window, Ryouga
watched nervously. He'd always seen her as a gentle, sweet person,
even if she had incredibly violent sleeping habits (she'd once beaten
up Happosai in her sleep) and was, at times, ridiculously strong.

"Looks like she's holding her own," cooly noted Ukyou. She looked
over to Ryouga, who was beginning to crush the window frame with his
hands as he nervously watched Akane's battle. <He's still in love
with her, the hopeless idiot.> She sighed and watched as Akane mowed
down the fourth wave of kendoists by using Kuno as a battle axe, and
the fifth wave by using him as a throwing axe.

"I AM NOT YET DEFEATED!" yelled Kuno, who got up once more, as if
he was never struck. For a brief moment his aura flared, and
flickered from his usual blue to a darker shade of purple. It was
barely noticable. Kuno launched himself into the air. This drew a
gasp from the crowd, mainly because Akane had her back turned.

Of course, she sensed him coming. As she spun around to give him a
bookbag slam to the forehead, something raced by and nailed Kuno in
the head before she had a chance to strike, a red umbrella whizzed by
and struck Kuno a thunderous blow. The Blue Thunder was flung away in
the air and landed hard into the floor.

"WHO DARES TO INTERFERE WHILE THE BLUE THUNDER DOES BATTLE!?" said
Kuno as he sprung up once more, showing alarming resiliancy.

Ryouga sprang out of the third floor window, his landing creating a
small crater. "How DARE you call this an honorable duel!"

"Ryouga," said Akane, "you don't have to do this, really."

Ryouga's entrance into the fray set off a new round of buzzing and
chatter amongst the Furinkan student body. "Hey, who's that?" "Isn't
that Ryouga Hibiki?" "I heard he was dating Ukyou." "No, I thought
he was dating that other girl?" "No fair, Ryouga getting all the
women like that, now he's putting the moves on Ranma's fiancee!"

Fortunately, Ryouga didn't hear this.

"The rogue Hibiki! So, you would cast asperations on the fair
Akane Tendo? Very well then, feel defeat at the hands of Tatewaki
Kuno!!!" Before he could advance, something small and black struck
him on the face, then exploded in a large puff of black soot. The
kendoists, bewildered, looked around, but soon got hit by exploding
bags as well.

"Akane look out!" Ryouga raced over to her and pushed her to the
ground as several of the bags zoomed by, creating another large cloud
of soot in the field. He opened his umbrella and stood next to her,
covering them from a few more bags that were flung their way.

"What the hell is going on down there?!" wondered Ukyou as she saw
the field of battle quickly become engulfled in dark clouds of soot.
She grabbed her battle spatula and raced up the stairwell to the roof.
She could see someone else was already up there, and flinging those
bags. As she approached, the mystery figure jumped down into the heart
of the fray below.

Ryouga peered into the darkness, cautiously. He lost track of
everything and had an ominous feeling. Occasionally, a kendoist would
fly by them and back into the clouds. Someone else had just made
their way into the fight, and they might not be friendly.

"What's going on Ryouga?" asked Akane.

"I dunno. Let's get out of here." Without thinking, he took her
in his arms and jumped to where, he hoped, the building would be.
Instead he landed on the concrete perimiter fence of Furinkan high,
but it was out of the soot cloud. From there, he could make out a
shape racing within the crowd, beating up kendoist after kendoist.

"WHAT SORCERY IS THIS, RYOUGA HIBIKI?!" Kuno thrashed around
violently, creating a whirlwind within the soot-covered field. That,
and a light breeze soon cleared out the field, but not before someone
raced out of the remains of that cloud and layed Kuno low with a few
quick strikes of what appeared to be a radial, odd, steel... broom.

Everyone stared with much curiosity as a figure in strange, greyish
western suit of some sort, covered with soot, looked up at Ryouga and
pointed with the broom. In formal, somewhat rigid Japanese, the
intruder spoke.

"Hibiki. You are mine."

"What?" Ryouga looked puzzled and angry. "What'd I do to you???"

"Be here. After school. I will wait."

The figure threw down a handful of soot bombs, obscuring himself in
a cloud, and then disappeared as the smoke blew away.

"Great... just great," muttered Ryouga.

From the rooftop, Ukyou yelled down, "Ryouga, what are you doing?!"
Unfortunately, he didn't hear that.

"Ah... Ryouga?" asked Akane tenatively.

"Hm?"

"You can let go now."

With extreme embarrassment, he realized that he'd been holding
Akane protectively, in his arms, all this time.

"Aaah! Sorry! Sorry! I didn't mean to! It isn't what it looks
like!" He quickly let go and wiped off the minor nosebleed.

From high above, someone was yelling "Ryouga you jerk!"

***

Furinkan High: lunch hour

Ryouga was trying to have as peaceful a lunch as possible. It
wasn't going to be very peaceful at all.

"What're you up to, Hibiki?" said Daisuke, elbowing him a little
and giving him a knowing grin.

"Huh?"

"You know what we mean," said Hiroshi, appearing on Ryouga's other
side. "You puttin' the moves on Akane this morning!"

"WHAT?!"

"The whole school is talkin' about how you're stealing Akane from
Ranma, y'know," added Daisuke."

"B-b-but it isn't like that! I wasn't... I mean we weren't... I
didn't mean to..." Internally, Ryouga was a mess. <Why> he wondered
<didn't this happen a few months ago?! Why not when... when I still
had a chance?!>

As he stood there, not listening to Hiroshi and Daisuke's words, he
could hear everything else that was going on. It was a surreal
moment. The breeze blowing, the birds chirping, everyone _else_ but
Hiroshi and Daisuke gossiping.... about him.

"Did you see the way Ryouga was holding Akane this morning?"

"Where was Ranma anyways?"

"I heard those two got in a fight again."

"So Ryouga's dating Akane now? Man, it's always a martial artist!"

"Who was that guy earlier today that knocked out Kuno?"

"I heard they were gonna fight to see who gets Akane!"

"Ranma's gonna kill them both."

"Hey... a big fight, a boy helping Akane, some mysterious new guy
barging in and challenging... doesn't this all sound familiar?"

"Yeah, used to happen to Ranma all the time."

At that moment, Ryouga's mind screeched to a halt. <Used to happen
all the time... used to happen all the time... to Ranma.... TO
RANMA!!!> He looked around, paranoia tingling in his nerves. He
glanced at Ukyou, who immediately 'hmph'ed and turned away. He looked
at Akane, who was busy angrily shooting down rumors. He looked around
at all the other boys and girls of Furinkan High...

"... martial artists get all the girls...."

"... that womanizing cassanova..."

"... reminds me of Ranma..."

How did things get this ugly? Why was this happening to him?

Suddenly, he knew. He didn't know how he knew, he just knew who to
blame for this mess. After all, it was always his fault, somehow.

"RANMAAA! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!"

*

Meanwhile, on the girl's side of things, everyone was getting
acquainted with a rather unusual new addition to Furinkan.

"You're... really enrolled here?" asked Yuka.

"In the same grade as us?" inquired Sayuri.

"Mm-hm!" Kyoko nodded happily, being her usual bubbly self. The
girls nearby gasped, afraid she'd accidentally poke someone's eyes out
with the oversized shears strapped to her back.

"So, how're you liking it here so far?" asked Akari.

"I like it here! I get to be with Akane-oniichan and
Akari-oniichan! Yay!"

"I still find it hard to believe this is Ryo's sister," muttered
Ukyou.

"Genetic fluke, I guess," said Yuka.

*

"You didn't have to do this," apologized Ryouga.

"No, it's alright. If you don't face this guy now, he'll just bug
you for a long while. You'd better get this outta the way now,"
explained Ukyou as she yanked his bandanna once more and led him in
the right direction.

Like vultures around a carcass, the students of Nerima waited
around the schoolyard for some free entertainment. Not surprisingly,
Nabiki was there as well, maintaining her gambling business. Ukyou
wasn't surprised at all.

Out in the middle of the field stood Ryouga's adversary, clad in a
loose fitting Victorian Era-esque suit of some sort, covered with soot
from head to toe, holding an equally sooty metal wire broom in hand.
The stranger noticed Ryouga's approach and acknowledged him with a
nod.

Ryouga stood in the clearing in the field, ignoring the crowd of
students that were watching him, focusing on his opponent. Was there
any way to end this peacefully? At the moment he was barely willing
to give that option a try.

"Who are you?"

"I am Noori, T-"

"What do you want?" he interrupted impatiently. Ryouga was still
blaming Ranma for this mess. He wanted to clear this matter up as
soon as possible, then cave Ranma's head in.

"You dishonored me," said the sweeper in stiff Japanese, "so we
will fight. I will destroy you."

"But when did I-"

"Enough talk! FIGHT!" Noori swung the steel brush broom at
Ryouga's face, barely missing. Three small scratches began to bleed
on Ryouga's face.

"Alright... THAT'S IT!" Ryouga charged recklessly into the fray,
ignoring a broom handle to the gut, and gave a vicious headbutt.
Noori recovered and swiped at Ryouga with the glistening metal end of
the brush, turning Ryouga's sleeve into ribbons and raking his arm
badly. Soon, soot bombs and bandannas were flying about recklessly.

While the two continued to fight, Ukyou watched from a distance and
away from the main 'audience'. Something about the fight was eerily
familiar to her. A sense of deja-vu. She stared at this 'Noori' with
some nagging feeling.

"Worried?" inquired Sayuri.

"Ah.... of COURSE I'm worried! He's my friend!"

*

Ryouga snapped off his belt and whipped it out until it suddenly
straightened itself into a blade...

Noori hefted a handfull of soot bombs, intending to blind Ryouga
with a bomb to the face...

The crowd gasped as there was a mighty explosion of black soot and
a high pitched scream. Ryouga stumbled out of the cloud, coughing
violently and squinting his eyes. A very enraged Noori charged out of
the cloud, spinning the steel brush broom in one hand, looking to
bring it down on Ryouga's face.

Ryouga, hearing Noori's footsteps, whipped out his umbrella and
raised it, blocking an overhead strike from the broom. At this
particular moment, with Noori's arms up high (holding the broom) and
Ryouga looking in a generally downward direction, coughing and
blinking, his vision finally cleared up.

He clearly saw that he'd managed to tag him with his belt/sword
twice, once across the arm, and once across the chest....

<Why's he wearing a... A BRA?>

"YOU'RE A GIRL!!!"

Ukyou felt the sensation of deja-vu hit hard as she saw what was
occurring on the field. The crowd started buzzing furiously as well
after hearing his shout. Rumors started flying immediately and she
couldn't help but hear what the crowd was saying.

"Ryouga's fighting a girl? I wonder what she did to him..."

"Hey, maybe she's his fiancee or something?"

"You hear that? She's his fiancee!"

"Y'know, this all seems kinda familiar."

"Didn't this sorta thing happen to Ranma?"

That last sentance echoed in Ukyou's mind, and slowly her left eye
began to twitch. She reached for her battle spatula.

Meanwhile, Noori was yelling at Ryouga in a strangely accented
English. He didn't understand a word, but whatever she was saying
seemed rather harsh. She was swinging madly at him, but he was doing
nothing now but dodging and backing away.

"Why do you run away?!?!" she yelled.

"I don't hit girls!" replied Ryouga.

Those words echoed in Ukyou's mind as well. She'd heard them
before. And her mood wasn't being improved by the memory.

"Fine! You stop running, I kill you!!!" Noori punctuated that
remark with a swing of the broom that narrowly missed.

The large spatula, on the other hand, didn't miss.

Noori stopped in her tracks, surprised by the unexpected
intervention. There seemed to be an irate girl with a large spatula
yelling at her enemy, and she wasn't quite sure what to do at all.
This sort of interference was unheard of.

"What are you doing?!" yelled Ryouga.

"What am *I* doing? What did YOU do to THAT girl, you JERK!"
screamed Ukyou. "Humiliate her as a little girl? Break her heart?
RUN OFF RIGHT AFTER YOU WERE ENGAGED TO HER?!?! WELL?!?! ANSWER
ME!!!" While throttling Ryouga and yelling, Ukyou felt a tap on her
shoulder. She turned around impatiently, asking, "WHAT?!"

Noori asked cautiously (and stiffly), "Ah... excuse me, but what
are you doing?"

"Yeah, what are you doing?" asked Ryouga, who was promptly whapped
by both Noori and Ukyou.

"You interrupt my fight," said Noori, running out of patience. "I
will hurt Ryouga very much then go, okay?" With that said, she raised
her broom, preparing to brush Ryouga's face off of his head.

"Wait a minute, sister, he's my friend! If anybody around here is
gonna pound him into the ground, it's ME!"

"This is not your concern!" yelled Noori. "I am HERE to fight
HIM!" said Noori, and pointed at....

... an empty spot where Ryouga should have been.

*

Several hours later...

Ryouga was baffled. He was in the yard at Furinkan High a moment
ago, and after several blows to the head and some stumbling, he was in
Okinawa... well, it seemed like Okinawa. Or was it Osaka? He wasn't
quite sure and at moments of stress every place seemed like every
other place.

Oh wait, wasn't that the Tendo Dojo? He wasn't sure.

He thought about going there just to ask directions.

Then he remembered the day's events.

And he also remembered a certain pig-tailed boy he wanted to
mangle.

"RANMA!!! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!!"

He charged in, breaking through the gates, tearing through the
front door, and stared at complete and total strangers.

"Eep! Sorry! Wrong address! Pardon me! Sorry! Sorry!"

*

"He WHAT?!" said the bedridden Ranma, suddenly feeling good enough
to stand up.

"You heard us, man," said Hiroshi, "he was all over Akane today!
Isn't that right?"

"We saw it all," said Daisuke, nodding solemnly.

"I'M *KAFF* GONNA KILL HIM!!!"

-end part 8-