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[Ranma/Xover][FanFic] The Bet: Reluctant Bet segment 11

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Gregg Sharp

unread,

Apr 7, 2000, 3:00:00 AM4/7/00

y'know, this sucker was originally intended as an April
Fools fic. it just turned out to be fun to write, and is
turning out to be a chance to throw out a lot of bizarre
ideas i couldn't fit anywhere else...

Reluctant Bet, segment 11: "From Crippled To Cosmo Knight"

See previous disclaimer. + "Drain" by X-Japan, lyrics
provided by Sakura.

--------------

Talk to my troubled brain
If you can feel my pain
So much hurting that's living in my head
Now I can barely breathe
And now my heart's disease
And my name and my life has been stepped on
And on.... NO NO!

You made fool of me!
There is no way out...
I'm going down the drain!

The name of God in vain
You pushed me, I'm insane
Dissolution is knocking on my door
Can't stop my bitter tears
Oh, take away my fears
Body and souls is blown up into pieces

Oh cry out... I want to be free!
Dry out ... I want to know truth!

Let me drain my feelings out!
Lough like a drain!
My emotions scream...
"Let me drain!"

So I can speak my mind
Anata sae blind
I am left in a land with just solitude
Has this become my fate?
Who's next to be your bait?
Vicious cycle repeating on and on...

Cry out... I want to be loved!
Dry out... I want to see dreams!
Oh, cry out... I want to be free!
Dry out... I want to know truth!

Let me drain my feelings out!
Lough like a drain!
My emotions scream...
"Let me drain!"

Shampoo blinked as the "In The Last Episode Of 'Crippled:
Body & Souls' " synopsis was given. "WHAT?! Why Shampoo is
cheap thug villain? This insult to womans of Amazon tribe!"

"You couldn't see yourself acting like that?" Shan asked,
well knowing the answer.

"Well... maybe. Still is not very flattering." Shampoo
decided to sulk with a tub of Rocky Road ice cream. "Shampoo
never get good parts."

Nabiki (sitting down to be more on Ranma's level): "Ranma...
I want you to know. You never have to be alone if you don't
want to be."

Ranma (in wheelchair): "Nabiki... you, why are you doing
this? You've spoken of your family honor, but why?"

Nabiki (letting out a deep breath): "You know of the initial
reasons, Ranma. And there *is* more. Well, if you must know,
it's because..."

The doorbell rang.

Not only did the Nabiki on the screen groan, but the Nabiki
watching the tape winced. Then realized she'd been leaning
forward too much and fell off the couch.

"Oh good!" Kasumi clapped her hands as her character joined
the other two in the room. "I'm one of the 'good guys' in
this story. How nice!"

Shampoo looked up, her lower face a mask of ice cream and
grumbled something about how she hoped she had a better role
in the NEXT tape.

-----------

Sailorjin Timeline:

"MINE!" Haruka protested, wrapping both arms around one of
Grey's arms.

"OURS!" corrected Michiru, having gotten a stray arrow when
Eros had tried firing three at once.

"LAY OFF, HE'S MINE!" Hotaru was quite willing to argue the
point and was holding Grey's other arm. For emphasis she
leaned across his chest and stuck her tongue out at the two
on the other side.

"You're too young for him, ne? Tall muscular and partly
mechanical?" Usagi snuggled up against him from behind.

"Can't be happening, absolutely canNOT be happening,"
repeated Grey. His eyes tracked to the two on his right.
"Uhm, i'm a guy so, howcome..."

"A change of diet is always good to have," indicated
Michiru from where she was attempting to graft herself.

"I can tell that somewhere in that manly mechanical frame,
a really cute girl is waiting to come out." Haruka might
have hit her head a little hard in her assault.

"Uh huh." Grey's eyes tracked to other side. "And Hotaru,
you're all of what, nine years old in human terms?"

"Fourteen!" Hotaru indicated proudly. "Old enough for you
to make me a woman."

"Eeep." Grey wasn't capable of turning green. He tried
nonetheless. Then turned his attention to the person behind
him who was rubbing her cheek against his back and making
purring noises. "And what about Mamoru or Darien or Tuxedo
Mask?"

"Who? Oh, Mamoru?" Usagi snuggled a bit more into the warm
glow she had found. "He's getting married to Rei-chan in a
couple of days. And Rei-chan doesn't want to share, the
meanie!"

"Go run home, little girl, me and our new romantic lead
have to get better acquainted!" Haruka snarled at her former
ally Hotaru.

"'Little girl?!' Better than being an Old Bag like you!"

"OLD BAG?!" Battle auras were flaring.

"Ah heh," said Grey trying to think of a way to defuse the
situation and drawing a complete blank.

"I'm sure you'd much rather come home with me!" Usagi
chirped and tried to levitate with Grey.

"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!" Hotaru, Michiru, and Haruka
thundered.

"Oh my," said Ami as she scanned the foursome. As she had
actually been Eros' target, naturally she had been
completely missed. "I'm getting some interesting readings
from Cyborg-san, I was wondering if..."

Again came an eerie chorus from Hotaru, Michiru, and
Haruka. "YOU TOO!"

Ami looked for a foxhole as auras flared.

Grey ran a quick diagnostic. Forcefield still dangerously
low. Armor missing a few patches. Self repairing systems
online but kinda busy.

"MINE!" Haruka and Michiru pulled.

"MINE!" Hotaru repeated and exerted her own vector,
powering up as she did so.

"At least *I* can be feminine," Usagi stated, and started
pulling in her own direction.

"WHAT?!" Haruka was sure this was a crack against her. Of
course, she was quite correct in this regard. Auras flared,
pressure increased.

CRUNCH! CRACK! Even megadamage alloys can only take so
much.

"Why me?"

------------------

"You're kidding? A promotion!" Kiyone exulted. Not more
than three days away from Mihoshi and she was already
upwardly mobile again.

"Yes," Ishtar said graciously. "The Goddess Relief Office
has openings for both of you in the Mortal Agents
department."

"But what about Grey..."

"Oh, forget about him. He's still struggling with his
second Labor. Besides, you want to keep your pokemon, don't
you?" Ishtar chuckled. "Well, they've proven useful, so
that's what I'm also here to do. They're going to the
agencies who could really use them. The Goddess Relief
Office, Divine Intercession, and Divine Justice."

"Pika?"

"Yes, you can remain with Kiyone. You come under the rules
for Cute Animal Mascots."

"Pika! Pi!"

"Sure, a transformation pendant to allow you to change back
to human form between adventures? No problem." Ishtar made a
dismissing gesture. "Just give the word. But both of you are
entirely too competent and powerful to continue working with
some rinky-dink organization like the Rival Relief Office."

Kiyone frowned slightly. She REALLY liked Grey, but that
was just some enchantment that she'd have lifted. It felt
wrong but this was a chance to pursue a career! "I'll... do
it."

Sasami's thoughts were a bit more chaotic. She REALLY liked
Grey, but it was all an enchantment wasn't it? Besides, her
sister was probably worried. "I think... maybe I just ought
to go back home. They're probably really worried."

"Magma!" Magmarashi was adamant. Wherever Sasami went, HE
would go.

"Okay, unlike those failures at the RRO, *I* can use a
spell and get you there instantly." Ishtar made a gesture
and opened a circle of light.

"What about ME?" Cadet Jenny held her hand up. "I'm Cadet
Jenny, and I come from a long line of police officers!"

"You? I'll just put you back in your homeworld. You're not
registered with the Rival Relief Office so you don't really
count for anything."

"THAT'S NOT FAIR!" Cadet Jenny shouted at the newcomer.

"Excuse me," said Tatewaki Kuno, drawing a sword. "For
interrupting my quest for power, I am going to have to smite
you!"

Ishtar pointed a finger. "There. Your wish is granted. Now
go away."

"My wish? My wish is for all of you to begone!" Kuno
watched as the four of them vanished into thin air as the
glowing circle moved over them. "What?! You mean I really
had a wish? ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!"

-----------

Target Timeline:

Kasumi sat, wearing a formal kimono, plucking out the first
few notes of the song "Dueling Banjoes" on a koto, then
glancing to the side.

Taking up the challenge with a gleam in her eye, Makoto Kino
brought a flute up to her lips and replied with the same
sequence.

They were interrupted as an electric guitar played the third
set, camera backing out to show Ukyo Kuonji with it.

A drum sounds the fourth sequence at Shampoo's hands. A
quick sequence of four eyes show the fire of determination
and challenge showing. "Hmmmph" comes a female chorus.

The music quickly begins the battle. Sequences show the
various battlers: Kasumi switching the koto for a piano,
Nabiki on a banjo, Ami Mizuno on a clarinet, Shampoo
continuing with the drums, Ukyo likewise continuing with her
guitar, Minako Aino also on electric guitar. More and more
female characters appear, dueling with music with the
others...

And Ranma trying to sneak away during the battle. "Private
Bet: Cosmo Knight's Blues" logo shows.

"...but I don't know how to play the piano." Kasumi gently
objected.

"Likewise, sugar, I can't play the guitar." Ukyo waved it
all away. "Artistic license no doubt. You notice on the
cover, that I'm wearing a JSDF flight suit? Same thing, no
doubt."

"Shampoo CAN play drums. Just no very good. And Shampoo on
cover wearing odd bikini. Is strange."

"And I'm wearing a full naval dress uniform." Nabiki
shrugged. "I'm just glad that I got a good part in that
'Crippled' miniseries. Or at least it looked that way."

"Nabiki and Kasumi keep crying during that. Shampoo got
stomach ache from too much ice cream. Not want to see that
one again. Hope this have better part," Shampoo's voice
lowered to a series of grumbles as she pouted about it.

"Okay, just one more episode then we've got to get some
sleep. We got school tomorrow, y'know. Well, at least some
of y'all do." Ukyo frowned, wondering if she was something
other than the heavy in this one.

Shan and Sakyo stiffened then appeared to be looking around
for something.

"What's up, you two?" Nabiki watched the two girls with an
eyebrow raised. If only she could get ahold of the
technology that had produced them!

"He hurt. Shan not know how she know. But Ranma hurt. Hurt
bad."

Sakyo nodded. "We need a way to get to him without alerting
a certain sun goddess to it."

Amaterasu watched from a distance. THAT wasn't going to
happen.

A shadow flickered nearby and returned to Nabiki during a
quick break. Knightshade was seeing a lot of use.

-----------

"Genma, we MUST..." Soun's voice broke off. What must they
do after all? Could things actually end up as in that
"Mirrors Multiplied" tape? Or that miniseries "Crippled"
(the two had walked out halfway through - desperately
needing a drink)?

"An' I sell that horse critter for a hundred thousand yen,
at least!" Genma continued to drink and plan his financial
empire. "Not to mention what I could get for that kappa
thing."

"That's right, Genma, we *must* unite the two houses. It is
a matter of... something or other. Barkeep! Another round
for me n' my friend here!"

"Thasshh right! And your daughters got those bracer
thingies. Pro'lly worth hunnerd billion yen!" Genma
sniffled. "I hadda do it, Soun. And I knew those Knight
people would save Ranma if I went too far again. And it was
for The Art. We've sacrificed so much, Soun..."

"Yeah, Genma." Soun threatened to bawl. "If only there was
something we could do!"

"Ahem," Doctor Tofu cleared his throat. "Excuse me,
Tendo-san, Saotome-san. I heard you needed some help uniting
the two houses. I have just the thing right here."

The bartender stared, having just seen the bespectacled man
step out of the shadows. He could have sworn that nobody had
been standing there a moment ago. Martial artists... well,
at least they weren't going for a barfight.

------------

Kasumi (turning a perfectly good apron into countless tiny
white shreds of cloth): "Hee hee, oh my. Oh my. Oh my."

Ranma (concerned as he turns from his workout, the sun
gleaming off sweat-slicked skin): "Are you feeling all
right, Kasumi?"

Kasumi (blinking, the red tide of a blush sweeping up from
her neckline): "Oh dear, Oh my." (swallows heavily) "Yes. Of
course, absolutely nothing wrong."

Scene changes to an upstairs window overlooking the
backyard. Nabiki has her camera out and is licking her lips
as she watches the boy downstairs.

Nabiki: "MineMineMineMineMineMine..." (starts frantically
snapping photos) "Ah, to sell photos or not to sell photos.
THAT is the question. Is the greater reward in the financial
opportunity selling photos like these to my classmates? Or
is it in keeping the choicest ones to myself and glorying in
that physique. For when I have shuffled these photos off,
will that help me understand the mysteries surrounding
Ranma-kun or will I merely have shot myself in the foot by
demonstrating that he cannot trust me?"

Akane (walking behind Nabiki): "Who knows, who cares? He's
just a BOY, Nabiki."

Scene flips back to the backyard.

Ranma (going to his pack): "Oh yeah, Kasumi. I spotted these
while I was out this morning and thought you might like
these."

Kasumi (visibly tears her gaze away from his chest to look
at what he's offering): "Flowers?!"

Ranma: "Oh. I'm sorry. You don't like flowers?"

Kasumi (staring at the flowers in her hands): "..."

Ranma (moving past her and heading towards the house):
"Well, I've got to wash up. Sorry, Kasumi."

Kasumi (still staring at the flowers in her hands): "..."

Ranma (stops at the house to look back at Kasumi who still
hasn't moved): "I wonder if I will *ever* figure out women."

Shampoo fell off the couch laughing as birds started
erecting a nest on top of Kasumi's head.

Kasumi held both hands over her face and was peeking out
between parted fingers as the screen Akane came out, put her
older sister over her shoulder and carried her into the
house. "Oh dear."

Nabiki and Ukyo exchanged a glance and snickered as the
screen-Kasumi unsteadily made her way to the bathroom.
Ominous music played as she slid the door open...

Nabiki and Ukyo joined Shampoo on the floor as the Kasumi
on-screen came to a complete halt as she spotted Ranma
snoozing in the tub.

Akane (bursting in the door, grabs her elder sister and
drags her out of the bathroom): "Kasumi, you've got to stop
this. Aren't YOU the one who tells ME about proper
behavior?"

Kasumi (blinking rapidly): "I was just going to make sure he
was okay!"

Akane (not noticing Nabiki sneaking into the bathroom with
her camera): "Kasumi, if you were any redder I would think
your cheeks would explode!"

Nabiki (in bathroom with camera): "Hmmmph I thought Ranma
was in here..."

The Kasumi on the couch watching that tape was turning
several shades of red as well. "Oh my!"

-----------

Sylph had checked out the one known as Akane and brought a
gentle breeze to clear the air through the Tendo house. And
then her mistress had given Sylph new orders.

Knightshade sought and found equipment, returning it to her
mistress before the newest orders had been spoken.
Knightshade had been QUITE busy as her mistress had found
Knightshade's ability to blend with shadows and relay what
was seen and heard quite... interesting.

Naiad likewise had gone about her duties, dousing and
scrubbing the girl named Akane Tendo four times and using
the magic of her embrace to lift the scent of Evil from the
girl.

Pyriad had gone about her own duties, more minor but was
still seeing use. Mainly because HER mistress hadn't much
use for setting fires and the like but still didn't want the
others to get too far ahead of her with the bracer's
evolution. Pyriad wondered briefly if her mistress
understood what the third stage entailed.

So four constructs had gone about their mistress' biddings.

And if they started picking up their mistress' mannerisms
and movements, who would notice or think it strange?

----------

Elsewhere:

The air cracked open as Grey managed to slap his chin
against the D-hopper's activation button. The battle royale
going on behind him caused his abscence to be temporarily
missed.

He had enough time to wonder where he was when he passed
out.

"He looks human but the insides..." The speaker indicated
the dislocated right arm and the missing left arm.

"Let's see what Gennai-ojiichan says, or Doctor Lorelai for
that matter." The man looked at his three companions before
addressing one. "Lime, you tell Baiko and Tamasaburo. It
looks as though adventure has come calling again."

------------

Another Elsewhere:

"I can't believe this." Eros sighted along his bow, drew
it, and shot a "Minor Affection" arrow into a young
schoolgirl "00 miles away. He followed this up with a "Warm
& Fuzzy" arrow into a young man 220 miles away. Nock, aim,
draw, release. He'd done this a lot more often than he could
count and had it down pat with dozens of bows, enchanted and
not.

Another four arrows plunked down accurately into their
targets. Lest the gentle reader worry, these were Negation
arrows to undo the effects of the last four arrows that had
been shot.

Nock, aim, draw, release. A songbird in Luxemborg started
warbling his little heart out.

Nock, aim, draw, release. A Sumalian bride-to-be suddenly
found her husband's overbite not to be nearly the turn-off
it had been a moment ago.

Nock, aim, draw, release. A German engineer lost all
interest in the algorithms in front of her as she had a
pleasant little fantasy involving that nice Admin.

Nock, aim, draw, release. An unpleasant little fellow in
Haiti suddenly couldn't bring himself to shoot the most
beautiful policewoman he'd ever seen, swore to repent all
his previous crimes, and that he'd never wanted to be a
vicious criminal but had wanted all his life to be a
bartender. The policewoman who had been wondering how she
was going to get out of THIS one, immediately changed that
to wondering how HAD she gotten out of that one.

Eros drew a deep breath, looked around, blindfolded
himself, drew FIVE arrows at the same time and shot them.
Taking the blindfold off, he saw that five girls in a place
called Kansas City (oddly enough in a state named Missouri)
had suddenly noticed that the shy and kindly young man not
five yards away had the potential for major studliness.

Eros frowned. His skills didn't appear to be off. Selecting
a "LovePotion 69" arrow, he shot a young man who was
suffering from a lack of ability due to nervousness and a
recent lack of sleep. That he and the
previously-disappointed young lady of his companionship
immediately started consummating their relationship loud
enough to wake neighbors - well, that merely proved the
arrow worked.

Skills were intact. Equipment seemed okay. Eros pondered
WHY a simple task, the sort he'd done so long for so many
years, was something he was failing miserably at.

It didn't take him long to come up with an answer.

"SENBEI, THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!"

Somewhere, far away, Senbei (the so-called god of poverty
and mischance) shuddered and tried to hide in a soda pop
bottle. "Mistress Marller. Senbei think maybe he have sick
day coming up soon?"

----------------------

Sailorjin Timeline:

Air cracked open and two girls appeared in a swirl of maple
leaves.

"Why maple leaves?" Shan asked, curious.

"I was *trying* for sakura petals," Sakyo said with a sigh.

"Oh," Shan looked around. "Looks like there was a warzone
here. Residual ki energies in air indicate high power
output. Suggest caution."

"Maybe something a little more protected than an
okonomiyaki chef?" Sakyo nodded. "Unfortunately, at present
I can only turn into Ukyo, Shampoo, Kasumi, and Nabiki. I
tried to scan Akane for a backup, but she didn't appreciate
the gesture."

"She wouldn't. What about Amaterasu?"

"I could duplicate her form, but not her powers or skills.
I'd have to make physical contact for skills, and I can't
duplicate powers." Sakyo looked around. "Otherwise I'd
duplicate your strength and flying abilities."

"Good point. Where do you suppose he is?"

"Not here." Sakyo considered. "It 'feels' like he was here,
but moved on... Wait a minute. That's one of his arms."

"Ah. 'A farewell to arms' or at least one of them," Shan
nodded as she walked towards it. "Who's the girl?"

"No image match." Sakyo considered the unconscious blonde
holding the arm. "I'll be able to tell you soon enough."

Shan watched Sakyo place her hands on either side of the
blonde's temples then started looking into the ruined
buildings. "Oi vey. It looks like there's a bunch of girls
around here who did their best to pulp each other. Marks of
some pretty high level ki attacks too."

"Really?" Sakyo continued reading info.

"I'm currently standing in a trench 2.87 meters wide and
appears to be 340 meters long."

"That's pretty powerful all right, remember before you go
waking anyone up, that you have to survive the initial
attack to absorb and learn the technique." Sakyo thought
about downloading this information to Shan. It looked like
some pretty high level attacks were in this girl's
portfolio.

Rubble shifted and Shan shifted into a defensive pose as
one of the girls slowly peeled herself out of a form-fitting
crater.

"Aiyaaa," said Shan, slipping back into her mother's
character.

-----------------

Scene comes by request:

Akane walked into the bathroom, then backed away slowly.
She didn't trust it. First she walked into the kitchen, and
the water in the sink had ATTACKED her. She'd finally gotten
away from it, fleeing out of the kitchen. When she'd come
back, everything had been okay at first. Then the SUPPER she
had tried to fix had attacked her as soon as she'd added the
white wine to her stamina stew! (She'd later discovered it
was lemon-scented bleach, mainly because of the remnants of
dinner covering her all having that same scent.)

THEN she was outside, trying to unwind from her exertions
with a little sparring, when the KOI POND had attacked her!
She'd been spun and thrown and bounced around, and had
gotten quite motion sick. Then the koi pond had gotten back
to normal, but only after imbedding her in the dojo wall.

If THAT hadn't been enough, she'd gone into the furo
earlier for a quick rinse and a soak. Unfortunately, when
she'd entered the room, it was to discover that the room was
literally filled with water that had somehow been contained
within the room despite that it should have flooded the
whole house. She'd found herself scrubbed, splashed, spun,
and finally thrown from the room.

How she'd gotten shaved, her hair combed and braided, a
makeover, and dressed in what appeared to be a very tight
cheongsam, four blocks away... actually Akane didn't want to
think about that too much. It had been a strange evening and
she was just looking forward to relaxing.

Her eyes caught one of those odd spheres left behind. She
recalled that one had opened up and released Pepe Le Pew.
Another had released that kitsune that Kasumi was carrying
around. A third had released another kitsune-thing that
NABIKI had been playing with. And then there was that evil
horse-thing that that American girl had used to cheat in her
fight with.

A thought came to her. This one was different. If SHE could
use it, then she'd have something with which to fight off
those OTHER beasts. Then she'd be arguing from a position of
strength, after all, none of these others could hold a
candle to her in straight martial arts!

The problem was, would she have any control over it?

Akane backed away. Maybe THEY meant her to have it. Maybe
it was trap... Maybe she was supposed to grab it, and it
would turn on her! But no, she'd figured it out. She
wouldn't fall for such obvious tactics!

Akane started laughing, not realizing how much she sounded
like Tatewaki Kuno's sister.

It had been a long day.

------------------

A Class M planet just outside the Lesser Magellanic Cloud:

Thor grumbled and sat back. Contrary to popular belief,
Thor did not think of water or bathing as a bad thing. He
rather fancied hot springs, cold rains, especially when
accompanied by a warm Sif.

A number of the various gods had a "second home" where they
could get away from the hustle and bustle of Asgard or the
various other little slices of Heaven. These tended to be a
bit more "laid back" in design than the Asgardian buildings-
which were made to impress or make a statement of some kind.
Except for places like the Alley Of Lingering Smells, of
course, which were just cast offs from someone else's
project.

And because they were homes away from home, out of sight of
the majority, they reflected more of the nature of their
owners than their official houses.

Which was why a small Norwegian hunting and hot springs
lodge could be found on a world orbitting a sun which was at
a 90 degree angle from one of the Magellanic clouds and had
a wonderful nighttime view of the Milky Way galaxy.

Thor happened to like sitting back with a few kegs of mead,
and get reflective while he soaked in a hot spring and
watched the galaxy go by. Helped him think. Also tended to
put Sif in the mood. One must have priorities after all.

"No, THAT Labor is sufficiently messed up. They're talking
seriously about a Reset going back past the point of
insertion." Sif shook her head. "Akane's acting as crazy as
Kodachi, all of the other characters are going off on their
own courses. The little task I had you do earlier wasn't
really related to that."

"You gonna tell me what that *was* all about, my love?"
Thor was alone with Sif, soaking in a hot tub, the dwarves
had put together a particularly nice batch of mead, so far
it was a good day to be a God of Thunder.

"Just a bet with some of the other deities." Sif smiled at
a thought.

"Not another 'Bet'," groaned Thor.

"Just because of what happened with your OWN entry,
dearest?" Sif's tone was lightly teasing.

"It should have worked," Thor argued, and not for the first
time. "A small change, just a little prod earlier remembered
at the right time."

"Dearest? We've been over this before. Yes, in your
templine, as Ranma never *intentionally* deceives Shampoo
about his gender, Shampoo therefore never is acting on a
precedence for trickery in the relationship and never gets
cursed to turn into a cat. I'll admit, it had a level of
subtlety that was delightfully unexpected from you."

"Hmmmph." Thor hmmphed. He had thought it was fairly clever
and it had LOOKED like it would be a happier timeline.
Except that as Shampoo and Ranma drew closer, particularly
after one of the times that Akane had declared their
relationship never happened, Mousse had decided to up the
ante. And Cologne had never arrived in Nerima to teach Ranma
the Chestnut Fist.

And Shampoo had died saving the boy she loved from Mousse.
And eventually a much subdued Ranma had married Akane, who
continued to hold a grudge against him for nearly running
off with some filthy gaijin. With a relationship that was
pure spousal abuse. But it had gone so WELL up to that
point!

"No, it isn't that sort of thing. You know that Grey
fellow, don't you?"

"Mortal turned into a demon, screwed up quite a few of his
assignments working for those idiots down at the Rival
Relief Office, turned into a cyborg, and then given some
sort of screwy Twelve Labors crap like they did that
loudmouthed Hercules fellow. Nope, never heard of him." Thor
sighed. "Why can't we get mortals with some CLASS if they've
got to stick around Asgard."

"I thought he was rather handy, actually. Did a good job
with the wall over there."

Thor shrugged. "Didn't say he wasn't a nice fellow.
Hardworking. Handy if you need some construction work. But
he's so... Did you realize when i insulted that girl that
was hanging around him, he got in MY face. I slapped him
into a wall, of course. And when he got dumped by her, he
came around and apologized and admitted I was right."

"Well, my love, I've got a plan for him to end up with a
girl who ISN'T going to dump him."

Thor laughed, a big booming laugh that echoed off the
mountains. "Sif dearest. You're a goddess. You're not
omnipotent. That would be darn close to a grade A miracle."

"We'll see, then. Shall we make a private bet betwixt us?"

"Sif, my dear love, light of my life. Despite popular
opinion, I'm NOT that stupid."

----------------------

Weird ideas from this chapter that i could see in a more
serious fanfic department:

Kasumi introducing Shampoo to the joys of civilization,
including chocolate and ice cream.

Ed the Reluctant Pikachu and Officer Kiyone, not the Dirty
Pair but the potential is there.

A Sasami capable of throwing a kamehameha if Ryoko and Ayeka
destroy her kitchen again.