[Ranma/Xover][FanFic] The Bet: Reluctant Bet segment 14 "Reluctant Pokemon"
Gregg Sharp
Reluctant Bet segment 14 "Reluctant Pokemon"
Various things by various authors, set in a high speed
blender for three minutes. Chill and enjoy.
Note that i have worked around people with Starch's views,
and have run into a few online. i do not share these views.
---------------
"So where is Akane?" Shampoo made a show of looking around.
"She go take nice nap not bother us?"
"Oh, I forgot." Kasumi pulled the little sphere out of her
pocket. "Akane, come out!" The glow fired out of the sphere
coalescing into...
"Akane!" Akane grumbled to no one in particular.
"Oh, what a cute tail!"
"AKA!" Akane checked behind her to find that she did indeed
have a tail. It was a fairly cute tail, all things
considered. It was just that the red furred leonine tail was
HERS that was the concern. "NE! Akakane!"
"Akane! Calm down! The calmer you are, the less you'll
change. You only have to last out two days before the
Reset."
"KAKA!" Akane glared at the ceiling. How could she be calm
when she had a TAIL! "NE!"
"Ears are longer, hair's redder, and are those fangs?" Ukyo
stared. "Everytime she yells, she changes more."
"AKAAAAA!" Akane blinked as she realized she'd just sent a
gout of flame at the ceiling. "NE?!"
Shampoo gestured dramatically with her bracer. "Naiad! Put
out the fire!"
*SPLOOOSH!*
"Shampoo meant put out fire on ceiling, not girl with fire
temper."
*SPLOOSH!*
Akane stared at the ceiling. Had SHE done that? Akane tried
to breathe flames and made a little cone of reddish flames.
"Aka?!"
"Akane! Return!" Kasumi held up the pokeball, not wanting
to suffer through any more fire damage. Akane squeaked as
she was sucked in. She had wanted to try out this new
technique.
-------------------
Another universe:
"An Angel Is Approaching, repeat, an Angel is
Approaching..."
"This does NOT look like Nerima," accussed Jared.
Shan thought about it as she lowered her arms. "Some random
factor must have altered our transport."
Everyone paused, blinked, and slowly turned to regard the
batwinged girl in their presence. Who blinked and looked
nervous at the attention but quite obviously had no clue as
to what they were talking about.
"Damn that Doctor Lorelei," Sakyo said as she watched the
nervous young girl.
"People who are scared pull some pretty bonehead
manuevers," remarked Jared. "She knew the cyborg body he
arrived in was too complicated to repair and came up with
the marionette solution as a means of both keeping him alive
and keeping some control."
"Ick. The city's being attacked by a spider. I hate
spiders." Makoto made a face.
Jared smiled. "Well, you know, I feel like working off some
stress myself."
"Just be sure you know what you're doing this time,"
reminded Sakyo. "Remember what happened when you tried to
raise their Shogun from the grave..."
Jared winced. "Okay, maybe that HADN'T been my best idea."
--------------
*BOOM!*
Shinji stopped and looked up at the rattling pipes above.
"That didn't sound like artillery. Are they dropping N2
mines on the city?!"
*CRACKLE! BOOM!*
"Dumbkopf! How can an idiot like you be related to the
Commander? They'll do whatever they need to stop that
angel!"
*POOM* *ZAP* *POOM POOM POOM*
"Those sounds do not match an N2 mine or any ordinance I'm
familiar with." Rei turned and headed down a corridor.
*BLAM CRACK BLAM*
"Wait a minute, *I* am the party leader!" Asuka watched as
the two under her command decided to obey Curiosity's
dictates instead. "So, we need to reconn the situation!"
*ZZZZZZZZZACK!*
Behind the cold, emotionless, mask that she normally wore,
Rei wondered if she ought not to have Asuka cloned to see if
they could make one that wasn't suffering from near
perpetual PMS. Maybe they could grow Shinji a backbone while
they were at it. Not that she would say anything like that.
Then frowned, there was a disturbance in the air, like a
ripple getting weaker as it passed. These odd musings had
cropped up as it had passed her. Perhaps it was something
like an AT-field?
"What the heck was that?" Shinji looked around as the
Something passed him. "It almost felt like..."
"Oh shut up," grumbled Asuka. "Ah, here's the door, we'll
just take a quick peek and..."
Shinji and Rei looked out the door. Shinji's jaw dropped.
Rei blinked and frowned ever so slightly. Asuka merely
stared.
"Amazing what they're doing with AT fields nowadays," Asuka
managed after a moment.
"Are those Angels fighting the Angel?" Shinji finally got
his jaw working.
"What are you asking ME for?" Asuka continued to stare.
"Perhaps because you are the one who declared yourself the
leader." Rei didn't look at Asuka, still trying to figure
out what the flying figures were.
"KAME HAME HA!"
"SUPREME THUNDER DRAGON!"
"MIRV!"
The Angel took the attacks on a segment of AT field so
concentrated it was visible to the naked eye. The field held
but the impact flipped the Angel over.
"I didn't know you could do that," Shinji remarked.
"POWER OF THE WOLF, REVISED." Some girl with her hair in a
ponytail pointed her hands above her head. "RAGING WOLF
PILEDRIVER!" She brought both hands down and fired a blast
of energy at the Angel.
"Cracks appearing in an AT field?" Asuka watched in
disbelief as the spider scuttled a bit further away.
"If they kill it, there is a serious danger of an
explosion." Rei said this with a calm a voice as ever.
Shinji yelped and ducked back through the door after Rei.
Asuka sneered. "Don't be silly. In order to kill an Angel
you need an EVA. Everybody knows that!"
-------------
"Ya know, I think I'd pay to see him go up against
Marller." Urd watched Sailorjin ki bolts, vastly destructive
spells, and fusion powered energy blasts slamming into the
AT field.
The air rippled and someone stepped forward. "Hey, Urd!
Bell! How y'all doing?"
Urd blinked. "Edema? What brings... oh. You're helping out
the Rival Relief Office?"
The drow mage waggled a finger. "Not quite. Heard y' were
having some trouble. Talked to the Old Man over in the Rival
Relief Office and he put together some 'RRO Emergency Kits'
for y'all. Urd, you and Bell ain't got a lotta raw power, so
some tools might help ye out."
Sakyo looked over the darkelf Southern Belle and wondered
how to broach the possibility of doing a backup of her.
"What's in here?" Urd started riffling through the fanny
pack that Edema handed her.
"They've got the standard stuff for non-deity types out on
the RRO job." Edema handed a pack to each of the
Belldandies. "Oh, and if a couple of the Bells and an Urd
would like to leave with me..."
"Why?" Belldandy merely hooked the pack into place around
her waist.
"The longer you remain seperated, the more you'll develop
and stabilize as different individuals. Besides, I think
I've got jobs for a couple of you." Edema didn't bother
handing a pack to Sakyo or Banana, and there was no way
she'd go up there to talk with that Makoto. On a second
thought, she did hand one to Banana to give to the Mage.
"Tell the Mage that Grey wanted him to have one of these."
"Nearly Universal Translator, Traveller's Basic Medpack,
SPF 90 sunblock, Lunchbox, Everfilling mug, towel, rubber
chicken," Urd rummaged through her pack. "Looks pretty
standard. Ah, you gave me the 'Junior Alchemist's Playset'?
Very funny, Edema."
"Couldn't resist, honey. Besides, it beats what you WERE
carrying with you." Edema scratched her head. "Kinda wonder
what the Mage is doing here, though. Oh well, I gotta get
back to my store. If you three will come along, I'll explain
the deal."
Two Belldandy and an Urd left, which caused Banana to start
crying. She apparently hated it when friends left.
--------------
Jared landed, thinking that the fight had placed the
opponent outside the city limits just enough for some of the
big guns to come out.
"BIG BANG ATTACK!" Shan agreed.
Makoto merely yelled something incoherent and fired a quick
burst from a different angle.
Jared merely smirked. He remembered having gotten a crystal
spellbook from a certain cyborg and defeating the encryption
method that had concealed ANOTHER spell after he'd
transferred the contents of that spellbook to his own.
After all, how could he resist something more powerful than
a Dragon Slave?
"Brightness beyond the sun,
Golden beyond the moon."
Jared wondered where the stereo effect was coming, lagging
a half beat behind him, but couldn't spare the concentration
to deal with it during the middle of a spell.
"From the Seat of All Creation,
I bring my target doom.
Let the forces gather here,
in my unworthy hand,
contained so as not to harm,
those who with me stand."
That this also was more contained than a Dragon Slave was
also something that made this attractive.
"ArcAngel Sword!" Jared brought his hand down as if wielding
a two-handed sword and making a strike in the direction of
the rallying spider-thing.
The spider stopped moving.
"ArcAngel Sword!"
Jared looked over at Shan. "If you could do magic, I'd be
worried."
The AT field gleamed and fell in half. Then in quarters. So
did the spider. Several hills collapsed from being sliced,
though not dramatically as the slices were so thin as to be
nearly invisible.
"Technique acquired," said Shan. "Airen is so good to
Shan!"
Jared groaned and turned back to the group, mumbling
something about "not again."
----------------
Sakyo worried about her sister. Even though they were
cyborgs whose organic parts were born of different mothers,
in a sense they were nonidentical twins that shared a link
deeper than twins. Even though they were creatures of
technology and magic and humans, they were quite vulnerable
in matters of the heart.
Their programming, and to some extent their identity, was
tied up in service to a master. That had been Grey. However,
Grey was currently the blonde bat winged girl (somehow the
golden hair and wing color made her less diabolical looking
than if she were a brunette) in the not-very-concealing top
(the only thing they'd found that had the back open enough
for the wings and she still hadn't figured out how to
shapechange) that was currently going over to some redhaired
girl to make friends.
Banana just did NOT fit the image of a proper Master. Shan
had dumped him, somehow her directives had gotten confused
during that fight with Jared-san, and now the
Shampoo-daughter ws acting as if Jared were her beloved
Master.
Sakyo nibbled her bottom lip as she considered. Would SHE
become unloyal to her Master? She hadn't known him long but
she knew Grey to be kind and thoughtful. By the time he
returned, would she even be able to summon any loyalty for
him?
Jared walked into their midst again, a bit stiffly. Perhaps
that was because a perky Amazon was wrapped around him.
--------------------
Target Timeline:
Starch looked around at Japan and thought she'd been
transported to paradise.
"Ah, mamselle, do you perhaps know ze way to ze Tendo Dojo?
I..." Pepe took a better look at the woman in front of him.
He ran, screaming in horror, either having failed a morale
check or made an intelligence check.
Starch shrugged and continued to watch her prey.
Schoolgirls, starched linen skirts moving in the breeze.
Just waiting for the education that Starch could provide
them. Starch licked her lips and made note of the location.
AFTER Shampoo and her twin had been properly broken, then
Starch vowed she could come back and "play" with these
children.
It was their bodies, of course, and no evil authority
figure from some stupid patriarchal society should restrict
their ability to seek pleasure. Stupid Christians and the
like, forbidding the joys of the flesh simply because their
bodies were not yet fully bloomed. How much better things
would be if they could understand all the pleasures a master
of such things could teach them, instead of subjecting
themselves to the fumbling experiments that would follow in
their later years.
Starch moved off, vowing to work off some frustration when
she found Shampoo...
------------------------
"Black furred stray cat struttin' on a fence
Ain't got enough dough to pay the rent
I'm flat broke but I don't care
I strut right by with my tail in the air."
"Stray cat strut, I'm a ladies' cat...
I'm a feline catsanova, (hey, man, that's sad)
Get insults thrown at me from my mean old man!
Get my dinner any way that I can..."
"Meow, yeah, don't cross my path now!"
"I don't bother chasin' mice around.
I slink down the alley, lookin' for a fight
Howlin' to the moonlight on a hot summer night."
"Singin' the blues while the lady-cats cry,
Wow, stray cat, you're a real gone guy
I know you can be just as carefree and wild
Cause we got cat class and we got cat style!"
"Shampoo, how many times are you going to replay this
tape?"
"SHAMPOO LIKE THIS!" The Chinese girl turned a tearfully
joyful face towards the others. "Shampoo win! Shampoo be
hero! Shampoo get good lines!"
"Actually, I think Akane got most of the good lines."
Kasumi frowned.
"AKA?!" Akane looked thoughtful. "Akane. NE." She nodded.
She HAD gotten a lot of good lines as the
sometimes-friendly/sometimes-hostile rival and foil.
"Don't chew your tail, sis, you'll just get split ends."
Nabiki smiled as Akane just responded by sticking her tongue
out. It looked like Akane was beginning to cope with it all.
"Fooo," commented Akane, making sure to send the little
smoke ring off in a safe direction.
"So that's how our timeline originally ended up," Ukyo
mused thoughtfully. "That bit at the end where your Grandmom
received the letter and photo was kind of nice. Gave a feel
of closure while leaving things open in case they wanted to
do a sequel."
"Photo of Shampoo with child, handsome husband behind,
small cafe behind..." Shampoo almost did a credible Soun
Tendo waterfall. "Was so beautiful! Play end lyrics again!"
"You've already requested them three times, Shampoo!"
Shampoo pouted to everyone else's amusement.
Akane accepted a rice cracker from Kasumi and nibbled it,
not realizing that she was doing so in the manner of a
squirrel. She snickered at Shampoo briefly, feeling herself
relax slightly. Okay, she was turning into an inhuman
monster, her elder sister kept putting her in a pokeball
(which was oddly warm and comfortable), and she had this
horrible craving for jalapeno salsa mixed with wasabi. At
least nothing ELSE was going wrong.
Thunder rumbled.
----------------------
An Evangelion Timeline:
Jared stood back and inspected his work briefly. Nodding
once, he put away the can of "pigments of Blackmoor" into
his newly acquired "official Rival Relief Office" fannypack.
He'd always liked Bags Of Holding and the like, and one
designed to be safe in folded space was always a plus. Being
able to get some of the RRO gadgets without having to join
an agency that was essentially a cosmic joke had been kind
of nice.
Glancing at Banana, Jared decided he'd have to thank Grey
for it whenever he showed up again.
He decided to use the #3 Permanency spell to seal the
effects.
"Thanks, Yui-chan!" Banana chirped as she addressed a point
in midair. "I'm sure we'll be able to grant your wish, no
problem!"
"So," Jared said to the alu-fiend, "the curse that keeps
you wandering as you try to navigate dimensionally is tied
to your duties as a member of the Rival Relief Office. You
aren't so much lost as getting sidetracked by summonings?"
Banana blinked. "Huh?"
Jared sighed, remembering that Banana still was mentally a
child with no memory of being Grey. "Never mind, don't know
why I bothered actually."
"They is OK?"
"I just hit them with a 'Hold Monster.' It seems to work on
clones of angels as well as violent Germanic primadonnas."
"Yui made them... 'fumble their saving throws.'" Banana
frowned, not understanding the phrase. She didn't see where
anything but the spell had been thrown. "She say that you
needed to fix..."
"Gendo's little red wagon, I know." Jared smirked. Some of
these RRO missions looked like they could be amusing.
Granting a wish to Gendo's deceased but soul-trapped wife to
derail his plans... Jared had never seen 'End Of Evangelion'
but had the gist down. Not a happy ending. And derailing
plans for mass genocide by a Machiavellian mad scientist was
just too good to pass up.
"We go now." Shan said. "We try go ahead of airen and
former-Master to do backups just in case they does reset.
You be OK?"
"Fine," said Jared offhandedly, reading the Permanency
spell off the scroll. The scroll puffed into flame at the
completion, and Jared released the Hold Monster just before
the Permanency struck.
"What you do?" Banana watched carefully but was currently
unable to decipher the Mage's actions. Her attention
wandered as two of her friends left, but she had a feeling
this was important somehow.
Jared dusted his hands and grinned. "Giving the good guys a
better chance."
"I..." Shinji looked up at the man with the flaming hair.
Why did he have a sudden urge to go out and commit acts of
righteousness? To find out what a code of chivalry was and
hew to it?
Asuka blinked. There was something that she had to do. "Are
you an Angel?"
"No, though I am a High Lord among my people, and I have
come at the bequest of one who loves you three very much to
speak of many things." Jared made sure his pearlescent armor
was showing, as well as the crown he was entitled to wear.
"Many things?" Rei wondered at the sudden depths of
feelings blossoming within her. She also felt a deep seated
need, but also... amusement?
"Of chivalry and honor. Of duty and piety. Of the Code of
the Knight and of the Martial Artist. Of the need to fight
the Helspawn that you mistakenly call Angels, and of the
need to fight injustice and evil where you find it." Jared
shrugged. "And since I am royalty, if not from around here,
and of the Cause, to knight you three. Though I'll have to
use the battlefield expedient version."
The three were quite anxious to learn, feeling that
something had been missing out of their previous lives that
this could fill.
Urd sighed and sat back, then noticed Banana's continued
puzzled looks. "Over here, child, stay out of his way while
he works."
"What's he doing?" Banana chewed on her lower lip
nervously.
"Pigments of Blackmoor. Application of a certain pigment
makes the individual act as if they were of a particular
profession/mindset for the duration of the spell. Raises
their abilities to the appropriate levels, all that sort of
thing." Urd smirked as she regarded the group. "They were
all treated with 'paladin' pigment. So if their scores were
lower, they now have: 15 Strength, Constitution and
Dexterity, 17 Charisma, 10 Intelligence and 11 Wisdom. Other
benefits include an immunity to fear, they are largely
resistant to mind altering spells now that its in place. Of
course, that doesn't cover the effects of the Pigment
itself. Immune to disease, frequently able to cure diseases
in others.
"They prefer closing to melee to fight, can ride horses of
all sorts. Oh, and while the Pigment is active, they can
summon a +3 longsword. Then he capped it off with a
Permanency Spell type three. Which is essentially an
Yggdrasil request to make a spell everlasting."
"Oh," said Banana, not understanding most of that.
"Those things have five uses," Urd pondered aloud. "I
wonder if he'll get Akane with one of the remaining doses."
"Who?" Banana cheered up at the thought that NEW friends
might be joining them soon.
"Never mind," Urd said, regarding the girl by her side. She
decided that she LIKED this girl. It would be a pity to see
her "die" when Grey returned, but Urd couldn't think of a
way that would allow both to survive.
In the background, Jared was in the process of knighting an
eager Rei Ayanami.
-----------------------
Target Universe:
The air split and two figures stood on what had been an
empty street.
"Damn, you're good at this," Sakyo commented.
Shan grinned and winked as she lowered her arms. "If Shan
has been to a timeline, Shan can go there immediately. If
Grey has been to a timeline, Shan likewise can get there.
Hmmm. Shan wonders if Shan can switch that to Jared-sama?"
Sakyo winced at the reminder of her sister's changed
loyalties. "Well, let's go make backups of the others. No
telling when that Reset will take place."
"Shan know."
"And afterwards," a plan gelled in Sakyo's mind,
"afterwards I've got another plane to go to."
---------------------
Starch stumbled to a halt, seeing Shampoo's purple haired
twin flying overhead with one of those Japanese girls.
Grinning, she made note of the direction the two were
travelling at such speed and made her best speed that way.
----------------------
Evangelion Timeline:
Night had fallen, giving a few minutes of darkness before
the lights slowly came on across Tokyo 3.
"Ready?" Jared looked over his shoulder at where Urd and
Belldandy stood poised.
Urd licked her lips in anticipation, fingers hovering over
the keyboard of a laptop computer. "Ready for a LOT of
things. And... Good Evening, Melchior!"
Banana merely blinked, understanding WHAT her part was,
just not the WHY or the HOW or really even the parts of WHAT
that weren't written on the sheet of paper in her hands.
"Get ready, Banana." Jared turned back to Urd. "Well?"
"I've suggested it to the Magi, they're discussing it. They
agree this seems likely to be a Road To Hell, but don't
think their own programming will let them interfere." Urd
tapped a key. "I'm sending them the key to those shackles,
giving them the option of trading the Loyalty To Gendo
fetters for the modified Three Laws Of Robotics."
"Huh?" Banana asked.
"One, a robot may not harm nor allow a human being to come
to harm. Two, a robot must act to allow humans the maximum
amount of happiness and personal freedom possible, even to
allowing violation of rule one if the human can be said to
understand the consequences of that action. Three, a robot
will act to preserve its own existence where laws one and
two do not conflict. The original way Asimov worded the laws
might have had humans put in cages by their robot masters."
Urd smiled as she watched the display change. For a sysop of
Yggdrasil, this had been a piece of cake.
"They've accepted the new Laws," Belldandy said aloud with
a smile.
"Signing off on THAT, booting up on the Commweb." Urd's
fingers flew, a mischievous grin on her face. "Got it.
Everything's ready. Rei, Banana, Bell, let's do it!"
Four girls sang, their song going out over the Emergency
NERV frequency, and then to retransmitters all across the
world. Some didn't play the song, some did, some didn't even
notice they were doing it.
Jared cast a spell that was carried along with the song.
One that carried the scent of Truth, one that carried images
and would stir just the right memories in all who heard the
song.
"After the turn of the century,
In the clear blue skies over Tokyo-3,
Came a roar and a thunder like you'd never heard,
the deadly sounds of some Angel bird.
In a geofront, deep under the Earth,
A twisted little man of little mirth,
Millions have died,
and thousands have cried,
All a monument to Ikari's pride.
Ten, twenty, thirty, forty million or more,
Gendo and SEELE are rolling up a score,
Many good men died to end that spree,
of the Beast 666- Gendo Ikari!
From out of the shadows, three heroes arose!
A Germanic knight, and an albino
One of the heroes, the Beast's own son,
who knew on his honor what had to be done!
Now Yui Ikari had had enough of this mess,
So her husband's death she had to bless,
Divine intervention she hoped they would send,
And so she prayed that help they could lend.
Ten, twenty, thirty, forty million or more,
Gendo and SEELE are rolling up a score,
Many good men died to end that spree,
of the Beast 666- Gendo Ikari!
Old Gendo Ikari, he was in a fix!
His plans come apart like a bundle of sticks.
His conspiracy's web was tattered and cut,
That he'd be a god, while others went splut!
So Gendo Ikari, and Old Men of SEELE,
they done lost all their previous appeal,
lynched by their minions, and torn to shreds,
even their leader was better off dead.
Ten, twenty, thirty, forty million or more,
Gendo and SEELE are rolling up a score,
Many good men died to end that spree,
of the Beast 666- Gendo Ikari!"
There came a roar from inside NERV headquarters as of some
beast with a thousand throats, all of whom suddenly KNEW
what had to happen for them to avoid becoming seawater with
their souls ripped from their bodies and orbiting the earth
forevermore.
Somewhere deep inside NERV HQ, Gendo Ikari accidently fell
down an elevator shaft.
-----------------
Target Timeline:
Sakyo was doing a backup of Ukyo. Kasumi was sweeping.
Shampoo was fretting over the possibility of watching "Cat
Scratch Fever" at least one more time before the Reset. Shan
was musing over ways to best win the affection of Jared san
while ignoring Nabiki's attempts to bribe or convince Shan
to take her offplane during the Reset period.
"Not do that unless Jared-airen say so. Even Shan know may
be very dangerous do this."
"Excuse me, 'Jared-airen'?" Nabiki felt she was missing
part of the story, and with any sort of Doom hanging over
her head that this was inexcusable.
"Jared is airen! Is fated love, he defeat Shan in combat,
prove he strong husband!"
"Something got screwed up in short term memory during a
sparring match. Jared is apparently a powerful mage who used
a spell that had side effects." Sakyo didn't open her eyes
but continued to mainly concentrate on the task at hand. "It
was an eventful time, and Urd cautioned me about different
universes having different time rates. It may take them some
time to catch up."
Nabiki wasn't satisfied with a brief. "Let me get onto this
bit about..."
The front door exploded. This kind of brought the
conversations to a halt.
"Well well well. I may despise Christians and those other
props for the weak of mind- religions, but it looks like I
arrived on Christmas Day. Just look at all the brightly
wrapped packages for me to open..."
"STARCH?!" Shampoo was beside herself. Literally as Shan
was reacting much the same. "How did you get out of your
cave?!"
"It's time for you and me to par-ty. Lose your inhibitions
and submit to me, Shampoo." Starch looked around the crowd.
"I can see that I've got a lot of toys here. You can make
this easy on yourself, or I can educate you in the joys
of..."
"RRRraaaaaggghhhhhhhhh!" A low warning growl indicated that
someone was very unhappy with the idea of someone
threatening her family.
Akane had discovered how to speed up the process, and had
rushed it over the past few hours. Curiosity, a growing
contentment with the transformation, and the sense of power
had proven an irresistable combination. Now a mountain lion
with a flaming tail tuft glowered at Starch.
"A KA NE!" Her subtitles however read something more along
the line of "Well, look at what the cat is about to drag
OUT!"
"Well, another of your beasts, Shampoo?" Starch was hardly
concerned. "Call it off or I'll see what a good coat it
makes."
"AKA? NE!" The pyrion asked very politely if the overdone
tramp would care to step outside and discuss this.
"Oh dear," said Kasumi.
"Actually, Kasumi, you're Akane's trainer. That means
you're supposed to give the fight commands." Nabiki was just
observing and extrapolating. It was a good guess.
Starch flipped over Akane, grabbed Kasumi and pulled her
into a tight kiss. When she let go of Kasumi to avoid
Akane's rush, Kasumi fell rather heavily to the floor.
"Oh, that's right." Kasumi said to the ceiling. Someone
else's tongue had been in her mouth. Without permission. And
apparently the party of the second part chewed tobacco or at
least smoked heavily. Kasumi noted from the way her clothes
felt, that her undergarments had been stolen. How completely
not nice. "Akane, would you please... Oh to heck with it.
Hurt her. Severely."
Akane grinned. Music to her ears.
----------------
The air rippled and popped on a street not far away.
"Hmmm. Looks kinda primitive," Makoto launched herself and
started observing the local environment.
Belldandy took a look at Banana. "Oh my, you look so cute
like that."
Jared winced. "Uhm. Banana, apparently the directive that
you look like Ranma in a Ranma timeline is still partially
active."
"I'm shorter," remarked the redhaired, redwinged, girl as
she tried to examine herself. "But bigger here."
Jared winced again. "Don't do that in public. Apparently
you're Ranko or Ranma-chan while you're here. So you'll be
my little sister for this part."
"Okay, oniichan!" Ranko smiled cutely.
"No pigtail, and your hair is too long, and those *red*
batwings and fangs detract but otherwise, yeah, you look
like Ranma's female form. I wonder..."
Ranko eeeped as hot water splashed into her from no
apparent source. "Oniichan! That's hot!"
The single Cathian beast that Jared had chosen as a
companion for this mission yawned. Wasn't it naptime?
-----------------
The battle raged.
Akane's new form had five times her normal strength and
stamina. Her speed had increased by more than a factor of
ten. Her claws were harder than steel, her bite could shear
through battleship armor plate, and she could breathe flames
hot enough to turn a rice cooker into glowing metal slag
(Kasumi was still a bit upset about the demonstration of
this last).
Starch was a martial artist nearly of Happosai's level, but
even more perverted and nasty. Her strength, reach, and
level of dirty trickiness actually exceeded Happosai. (Whom
she considered to be a rank beginner, a talented individual
but one with entirely too many morals to make an effective
martial artist.)
Akane was just beginning to tire when Starch threw
something in the lion's eyes.
"And now, the coup de grace!" Starch raised a single
chopstick overhead, preparing to hit a final pressure point
that would leave the beast crippled.
"KAME HAME HA!"
Starch was startled and barely dissipated the chi attack in
time.
"Knightshade, bind her!"
"Sylph, Whirlwind attack."
"Naiad, wash that pepper out of Akane's eyes!"
Starch continued to fight, but at one point she was tripped
by Knightshade.
She didn't last very long after that.
------------------
The Evangelion Universe, Two weeks later.
"Ritsuko? I've got a request here from all three pilots for
stables to be erected both at their homes, school, and here
at the geofront. Then for a horse track and..." Misato
rubbed the back of her head. "A jousting arena so they can
'tilt wi blunt an humane weapons for the joy o' the fine
sport o' knighthood?"
Ritsuko rubbed her tired eyes, since becoming the head of
NERV life had been hard on her. "Has anyone found where they
*got* those horses? Or where they keep those swords they're
always pulling out?"
Maya brought her boss coffee. "Have they pulled steel on
any more bullies or small time petty gangsters at their
school again?"
"They've never *hurt* anyone." Misato found it odd she was
defending them.
Ritsuko pulled a report out of the pile and began tiredly
to read. "Let's see. One instance of Shinji cutting a steel
water pipe in half with a blow to demonstrate to a school
bully that he'd better not mess with people again. Rei
stopping by sick students and at least one count of her
curing a terminally ill patient. Three accounts of them
breaking up gangs in their off hours. Asuka and Shinji both
got shot and later declared them to be 'just flesh wounds'
and of no consequence. Then they were better by the next
day, both claimed it was their virtue that did it - or we
have another report of them laying their hands over the
wounds and *that* curing it." She turned a page. "Then them
dueling at school, joining karate and a couple fencing clubs
until it was amply demonstrated they were better at blades
than the teachers. Now Shinji *teaches* a class on
swordsmanship. Asuka's taken to wearing gowns as has Rei,
only while Rei visits the sick our redhaired amazon
practices music as a 'ladylike discipline'."
Maya set aside the tray. "And they're always cutting down
flagpoles so they can stick things with them, riding those
horses of theirs. Have we tried restraining their mounts?"
Misato nodded. "Yes, several times. Those horses are escape
artists. At one point two of them served as a ramp to the
third who went over a wall to open the gate for the rest.
Our handlers we've brought in say they've never dealt with
horses so smart or determined. And when we try direct
measures, shackling them or tying them, the animals fought
and practically killed the men who tried it. Once when a
trainer pulled out a tranquilizer rifle to get at them
*that* way, Rei happened to be on scene, cut the man's
weapon in half, menaced him with her sword, and
declared openly that anyone who'd hurt their steeds was 'a
villain, a rogue, and one not worthy of life.' Then lodged a
complaint asking that he be fired."
Ritsuko nodded wearily. "I turned it down. But when I
explained why all three pilots got together and proclaimed
they 'could not serve a lord with such low regard for their
mounts.' And I had to do some swift backpedalling to keep
them all from quitting en mass."
A moment of silence.
"Has the search for new pilots gone anywhere?"
"None with half the strength of Rei when she started. The
best can barely get an Eva moving." Ritsuko sighed. "And you
KNOW what's happened to their synch ratios of late."
"I suppose we ought to go ahead and paint the Evas like
they wanted." Misato grudged the thought.
Maya was lifting up a paper, swinging her legs as she sat
on the boss' desk. "Well, the idea of a shield as standard
available equipment for each Eva has merit, and their ideas
for adding to the armor have to be looked at, but appear
sound."
"We'll have to repaint those crazy heraldric symbols each
time they get damaged."
"True."
There was another moment of silence.
"Asuka's plans for an extended prog knife bear
consideration, especially considering their skill with
swords now. And once she'd done some studying, her plan was
quite complete." Misato played with the thought.
"She does have a college degree." Ritsuko reduced her
sagging a bit. "At her age that has some meaning."
"Their grades have shot up." Misato offered, beginning to
think she could live with this. "Especially in Phys Ed.
They're performing on the level of experienced athletes. Not
Olympic level yet, but then they aren't specialized in
anything either, unless you count fencing - but
there they'd rather take a few blows for the chance to
really deal some damage."
"Not standard fencing rules," Maya offered.
"Though practical, considering that's the way fighting
Angels has turned out. You know." Misato took the plunge.
"If they want to play warrior on us, who's to say they're
not entitled?"
Ritsuko raised her head the rest of the way. "Because they
are willful and uncooperative with NERV regulations, putting
themselves needlessly at risk, indulging in unapproved side
activities, and rejecting standard treatment."
"They DO insist that everyone stop calling our enemy
'Angels', and call them 'Hellspawn' all of the time." Maya
put in. "Though that DOES give... never mind." Maya wilted
under the look from her boss. Pointing out the increased pun
opportunities with the name change didn't seem quite what
her boss wanted.
"Claiming Divine Visitation doesn't help either. In fact
their psych profiles look like a major episode." Ritsuko
complained, letting out a breath and leaning back in her
chair, staring at a wall.
"Just maybe," Misato leaned across the desk seriously. "We
ought to stop complaining when what we've GOT here was a
trade of one major set of serious imbalances for one that
works entirely in our favor - if we allow for the horses. I
mean, that courage, honor, and bravery complex... Could
anyone think of a more USEFUL personality shift considering
the job they're in?"
The Magi, of course, remained quiet.
---------------
Weird ideas i couldn't put anywhere else section:
quite a bit actually.
Pyrion pyro + lion. Akane as a sleek, charismatic, lionlike
pokemon. What, you thought i'd go for something cliche like
a slowbro?
Some of the bits originated with Skysaber, the original tune
of "Snoopy Vs The Red Baron" was by the Royal Guardsmen, and
Akane getting a powerup was requested.
There was a set of novels i read YEARS ago (before many of
you were born) called "the Humanoids" (i think that was the
title) in which robots programmed with Asimov's Three Laws
decided that humans were irresponsible creatures that
couldn't be trusted to look after themselves and so put them
in cages where they were drugged and cared for. While some
might regard this as a good thing, i don't - hence the
altered Laws Of Robotics.
--
-----------------------------
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"Fill the cup of happiness for others,
and there will be enough overflowing
to fill yours to the brim."
Rose Pastor Stokes