[Ranma][FanFic] Ukyou's Wonderful Life
Scott Jamison
UKYOU'S WONDERFUL LIFE
(Takahashi/Fujishima disclaimer)
Ukyou stared down at the dark, swirling water. It seemed to call
to her, offering peace. The biting cold wind brought the sound of carols
to her ears, their cheerfulness making no impression on her gloom.
"Alone on Christmas Eve..." She didn't *have* to be alone, of
course. The Tendou family, i.e. Kasumi, had invited her, and just about
everyone she knew to their party. But if Ukyou went, she'd have to see
*them*. Together.
"Why couldn't it have been me? What has she got that I couldn't
do better?!" Ukyou had thought they would quickly go back to their old
ways, but apparently the anger management and sensitivity training
classes had done both Akane and Ranma a world of good.
She hit the railing of the bridge, denting it a bit. "It's just
not fair! Ranchan meant everything to me! I wish I'd never been born!"
"Okay," said a voice behind her.
Ukyou jumped, nearly falling over the railing, but managing to
recover at the last moment and bring her giant spatula into position.
"There's really no call for that." The speaker was a girl with
long black hair and odd face paint, who had a large mallet tied to her
back.
"Who are you, and what do you want?"
"I'm Skuld, and I'm here to grant your wish. The one about never
being born."
Ukyou raised an eyebrow. "Riight. Like in that American movie."
"Just like it," Skuld replied. "Kami-sama loves that film, so he
has us do this sort of thing a lot."
"So, you're going to show me how things would have turned out if
I'd never been born, huh? Probably just the same, except for the pain I
got."
"Not exactly. Take my hand."
Things blurred, and when her eyes cleared, Ukyou saw they were in
a wooded area. In front of them was a building she'd never seen, but had
had described to her.
"The Kunoichi Teahouse. Where Konatsu used to live."
"Where he still does, actually," replied Skuld. The dark-haired
girl led the way through the wall.
Inside, Ukyou saw Konatsu scrubbing the floor. The male kunoichi
was dressed in the ragged remains of a dress, and his face was covered in
grime.
"Konatsu, you lazy girl, work faster!" screamed his wicked
stepmother.
The first ugly stepsister chimed in, "Yeah! We can't help you,
because we're going to the Christmas Ball!"
"Oh, I hope that handsome boy from the Mendou Corporation dances
with me tonight!" squealed the second ugly stepsister.
"Girls, girls, let's not waste time! And Konatsu, don't forget
to gather enough firewood for the next week before you go to bed." With
this, the three astonishingly ill-formed women left the room.
"So, I guess the fairy godmother should show up right about now,"
said Ukyou.
"I'm afraid not. You and Ranma were his rescuers, and events
never happened that way. Konatsu will be staying under their thumb for
quite some time." Skuld took Ukyou's hand again. "Only one more stop."
"Just one?" asked Ukyou as her eyesight blurred.
The new location was at once very familiar and a complete shock.
Ukyou remembered this street in Kyoto very well...but not the shop in
front of her. The one that said "Kuonji" on the noren curtain.
"I don't want to see this."
"But you must. Once you start, you can't get off the ride..."
Skuld pulled her inside.
Ukyou closed her eyes in protest, then opened them again. There
was her father, beard a-bristle and as large as life, serving okonomiyaki
as if he'd never died. There was an assistant cook, but her father
blocked her view of him.
"Father didn't die. See, this world is better."
Before Skuld could reply, Ukyou's father turned to his
assistant. "All right son, time to call it a night. After all, didn't
you say you had to be somewhere tonight? Finish up these last few
customers."
"Yes, sir, Mr. Kuonji." That voice sounded familiar.
"I've told you, Ranma, call me Father."
"Okay, Father."
Ranma!? As the assistant turned, Ukyou could see it was indeed
her fiance, dressed in an okonomiyaki seller's outfit.
"What's going on here?"
"Well, since you were never born, your father became desperate
for a male heir. He bought Ranma from Mr. Saotome with the okonomiyaki
cart, but the creep ran off with both the cart and the kid," explained
Skuld.
"Your father chased after them for years, but kept losing track.
He finally caught up with them about the same time you did when you were
alive. And considering the situation with Akane, Ranma was actually
happy to honor the old agreement."
"Situation...with Akane? But without me, wouldn't they have
gotten together even faster?"
Skuld shook her head. "Because you weren't there to be a friend
when he was little, Ranma grew up with that much less love in his life,
and was a bitter and cynical person. His relationship with Akane was
even *worse* than the one you remember."
"Worse? I find that hard to believe."
"'S true. Akane is now even more convinced all men are slime,
and is considering becoming a nun."
Ukyou studied Ranma, who was humming a happy tune as he made the
last okonomiyaki of the day. "He doesn't seem so bad now..."
"Well, Shampoo--" Skuld cut off as someone entered the shop. It
was a brown-haired girl on crutches. One of her legs was in a heavy iron
brace.
"Evening, Ranma!"
"Hi Tsubasa! How's it going?" Ukyou realized the "girl" was
actually her old pursuer.
"Great! My girlfriend and I are going to see the ice show
tonight."
Ranma smiled. "That's good news. Meeting her at the usual
place?"
"Yep, the streetlamp down the block. Gotta go!" Tsubasa limped
off.
"What happened to him?" asked Ukyou.
Skuld frowned. "Do you remember how you met Tsubasa?"
"Uh...oh, yeah. I saved him from being beat up by some bullies.
If I'd known the little fungus would attach himself to me like that,
I'da thunk twice."
"In this world, you weren't there, so no one stopped the
bullies. No one at all."
"C'mon, he didn't get crippled from that one time!"
"No, not that one time. But since no one stopped them, the
bullies beat him again and again and again..."
"Okay, already! I get the point! Sheesh." Inwardly, Ukyou felt
just a bit guilty. She decided to change the subject.
"You were saying something about Shampoo?"
Skuld nodded. "Yes, once she realized how annoying Ranma was,
Shampoo decided to use one of her great-grandmother's techniques to try
and fix him."
Ranma finished cleaning the grill and ducked into the back of the
restaurant.
"Um...Something Shampoo did actually worked?"
There was a splashing sound from the back.
"Sort of. What she didn't count on was that Kodachi had decided
to try to do something about Ranma too."
Ranma emerged in female form. To Ukyou's surprise, he was
wearing a dress and makeup.
Skuld continued. "There was a certain amount of synergy. You
could say Ranma's personality improved..."
Ranma went out, and Ukyou followed, curious. He was headed down
the street, towards a Christmas tree someone had left beneath a
streetlamp.
"..Or not," continued Skuld as she caught up.
"Tsuchan!" called Ranma in a squeakily feminine voice.
"Right here, Ranko-chan!" said Tsubasa, as he emerged from the
tree, slightly hindered by the crutches.
"You mean..." Ukyou mumbled, horrified, "Ranma..."
"Now thinks he's really Ranko, a girl cursed with a boy's body,
and forced to wear the male disguise to please your father. Yep.
Tsubasa is the only one she can be 'herself' with."
Ukyou shuddered as Tsubasa and "Ranko" shared a kiss so deep they
had to be tickling each other's tonsils.
"But--but it's still better, isn't it? My father lives, and
Ranchan's happy, sort of..."
Skuld's eyes rolled up in her head. "Not for long. At
Valentine's Day, Mr. Kuonji finds out about Ranko's relationship with
Tsubasa, and that's enough to trigger the fatal heart attack. Since
Ranko has absolutely no business sense, she runs the restaurant into the
ground within a year. She and Tsubasa have to live on his salary as a
prop man, and Ranko is eight months pregnant when Shampoo and Kodachi's
potions finally wear off and Ranma's original personality returns...I
don't think you want to hear any more."
No. This wasn't right. Horrible as her own world was, it was
better than this nightmare. Ukyou turned to the goddess.
"Get me out of here! I want to live! I want to live, even if
Ranma's with Akane!"
"Wish granted," whispered Skuld, as the chill wind picked up
again. "And Ukyou, as Goddess of the Future, I can say this...don't
think that because you can't get what you want, you can't find exactly
what you need..."
Then the dark-haired girl was gone, and Ukyou was back on the
bridge. "No Zuzu's petals? Oh well, might as well go to the party."
They were glad to see her there, Ukyou could see by the
brightening of everyone's faces. She blushed a little bit when Ranma
told her she looked good tonight.
Finally, everyone gathered around the tree.
"Merry Christmas!" they all shouted.
Tsubasa stuck his head out of the tree. "And God bless us, every
one!"
THE END
SKJAM!
Happy Holidays!