[Xover][FanFic] Third Labor chapters 7-8

[Gregg Sharp]

Third Labor, chapter 7
"Scrambled Identities?"
well, heck it *is* supposed to be an SI after all...
Disclaimer: [Xover][SI][Ranma][Sailor Moon][Sabre Marionette J][OAI][etc]

---------

The Pheonix Mage awoke and immediately summed up his
situation in one word: "Mmmrrrrff?!"

"Don't worry, Jay-chan!" Mina made a muscle gesture. Jared
idly wondered where she had gotten the nurse's outfit from.
"You'll feel better soon with NURSE MINA on the job!"

Situational analysis: That battle and particularly the
amount of energy he'd put into that last spell had reduced
his capabilities to near invalid status. Maybe he'd overdone
it a little, just a little mind you. Spell points were
zilch. Silver Millenium abilities: drained to near nothing.
Magical items - temporarily offline. Chi level- barely
enough to keep him from slipping into a coma. Wrapped in
bandages - not unexpected with Nurse Mina. Mina Lovejoy
tended to have far more enthusiasm than talent in such
endeavors. Or was this the marionette?

If it had been anywhere near him at the time, he'd used it.
It had been a TOUGH fight, and his opponent had been tougher
than the average duke of hell. At least the ones he'd
remembered fighting. Any resource he could tap into had been
put into that last attack. His eyes went to the side.

Belldandy was sleeping, which meant exhaustion, which meant
that she had been the one to get Shan to where she could
cross dimensions and assist him. He'd have to thank her
later.

Shan was sleeping, which also meant exhaustion, which wasn't
surprising. She'd never gone to Super Sailorjin mode before,
much less Sailorjin II. Once she had done a new technique,
she'd be able to get the energy cost down but the first time
ended up draining her pretty badly.

Jared immediately tried to free himself. Not that he didn't
appreciate Mina's intentions, no not at all. It was her
execution of those intentions he found worrisome. "Mrfffg?!"

"Oh, they're all helping with the refugees." Mina shrugged
as she filled a hypodermic. "I *think* this is the stuff Ami
said to use. Anyway, they're organizing the refugees into
camps - and there's just a *lot* of medical problems they're
working on. We're fleeing ahead of the main forces, of
course. Though that girl Makoto is still spoiling for a
fight. But don't worry, they left me and Scarlet and a lot
of others who're taking care of you!"

Looking at the horse needle in Mina's enthusiastic but inept
hands, Jared suppressed a whimper. Torture by goblins didn't
seem so bad.

"Okay, Jay-chan! Time for your medicine! Jay-chan? Where'd
you go?" Mina scratched her head. That's funny. He had been
lying there a second ago.

It was here that Jared learned the usefulness of many of the
Anything Goes techniques, neglected previously as he'd never
been much of a villain, vagabond, or fugitive. As he clung
to the ceiling of their large tent, in agony and terror, he
learned many of the fundamental secrets of pushing yourself
beyond all human limits because otherwise you'd be dead.

~Odd, so *that* explained some of Genma and Happosai's
training techniques. You really *can't* learn this advanced
stuff without your life being in danger from forces beyond
your control.~

His fingers slipped a few inches on the slick fabric, and he
nearly fell on Mina's head. She was peering around
worriedly, checking under sheets and in the other beds.

Creeping down silently, he went in and hid himself in a
place she'd already looked. Mina immediately turned about
and swept the blanket off from him, revealing the bound-up
mage desperately trying to pretend that he was Belldandy's
pillow.

"Aha! Don't forget, Jay-chan, you used the trick of hiding
where I'd already looked the last time I wanted you to judge
our bathing suit competition!"

Whimper. ~You know, when Happosai endangers the lives of
others he at least uses the opportunity to do the things he
enjoys as the way of getting the masses properly enraged.
Genma too, for that matter. No *wonder* Soun's daughters
didn't learn much of anything from him.~

The needle came lowering down.

A quick panda sign got whipped out. [Say, isn't that the
Three Lights over there?]

"Who? Oh come on, Jay-chan. It's just a little vitamin
shot." Mina waved the bulky syringe.

As this was the sort of needle you used in veterinary
medicine, Jared was considering options. [Oh no! Look, it's
Akane!]

"Good try, Jay-chan, now just take your medicine!"

"Hi! Oh my!"

Mina whirled to confront the intruder and quickly realized
that it was Scarlet, not Akane the Hentai.

By the time she'd turned around, Jared had discovered his
monk abilities of Run Very Fast and Move Silently were still
intact.

--------

Elsewhere:

The Binding wasn't intelligent per se, but it was developing
one as it grew more complex. It had originally been a Wish
granted by an immensely powerful being and had functioned
much like a computer program, but one that could learn and
adapt in the course of performing its duty. Naturally it
wanted to do this in the most efficient manner.

So, upon Grey's death, it had been resurrecting him but
imposing the only changes it could within its programming
limitations: physical. Because heavily armored cyborgs
tended to last longer, it generally went with those forms.

An errant piece of data, and continued influence from the
Discord curse, caused the program to evaluate and respond by
shifting the Host in another approach. As cyborgs were not
lasting so long, and the memories were sufficient to cause a
reset, something to minimize danger would be appropriate.

--------

Grey came up coughing water. That had been difficult. It was
all he could do to keep his mind intact through all that.
Without the meditation techniques of Frostbite it would have
been impossible to go through the experience. Something odd
with the Binding though, in that instead of rebuilding him,
it was relocating him.

As the coughing fit passed, a few details began to
penetrate. A furo, and a familiar one. The Tendo house. Grey
pulled himself out of the water, a nasty feeling settling
into the pit of his stomach. Female. He'd been female a few
times. Never enjoyed it. It was like wearing wool or
something, it was just uncomfortable. It wasn't him.

So, a quick splash of hot water and...

Nothing. Grey frowned. ~Okay. Don't panic. i've been a girl
before. Not my cup of tea, but at least i'm not crippled,
seem to be in good shape (wince) and... that was a heck of a
lot of water i just coughed up. Oh man, i got inserted into
a dead person! Long hair so it isn't Nabiki. Okay, i can
deal with being Kasumi. Weird, but i can deal with it. i
like cooking anyway, though those Japanese dishes are *not*
an option. Or... Ugh. What if i'm KIMIKO?! Other than Soun's
wife is gonna be frigid and not fulfill some of her wifely
duties?~

Grey nodded. ~That might be it. i've seen timelines where
she died of cancer, or an illness, or miscarrying another
child, or protecting her house from a burglar. In this one
she drowned. Hmmm. This might be fun, raising the Tendo kids
and solving a lot of problems. i've had brief experiences
raising kids, mainly when the Senshi were turned into
babies. Have to do some research...~

Grey unsteadily supported herself, going out into the
dressing room, looking into a mirror...

and screaming in sheer naked (literally) horror!

----------

Third Labor timeline:

Jared fled. He was exhausted otherwise he'd have been much
better at it. Following him was a pack of would-be nurses.
Truly, the path to hell had good intentions involved.

Nurse Mina was concerning. Scarlet as a would-be angel of
mercy was alarming. The Dirty Pa... Lovely Angels dressed as
miniskirted nurses was downright frightening!

And some of the others who were trying to be Florence
Nightingale (or Major Hotlips Hoolihan) and nurse him back
to health were WORSE!

The marionette version of Lina Inverse was strange and
hadn't gotten off a spell right yet. Inexperience, he
expected. Hephaestus had modified a marionette into a
sorceress (twice in fact) and Bast had seen the Dirty Pair
and had supplied...

Jared could have kicked himself. He tended to rely on magic
and high powered attacks. He still had those PokeBalls!
"MUGHI! I choose you!"

"Bwaaa?!" Something very much like a mutant cat appeared out
of the thrown PokeBall. "Murfff?"

Jared flipped onto the cat-things back. "Full speed.
THATAWAY!"

"Mugghhiiii!" The Lovely Angels went into full-blown Cute
Mode. "Over here!"

"Eeeep!" Jared leapt off of Mughi as the cat changed course.
Okay, maybe that hadn't been his best idea.

Rolling on the grass, he pulled out a substitute mount.
"ROSHI! I choose you!"

Mink stepped out of the crowd of nurses and snorted flame.
Jared sent a hesitant glance to see the semi-pterodactyl
shaking its head at him vigorously. "Big help you are."

"Griffin?" He tried desperately, calling forth a golden
furred lion and eagle hybrid.

"Just wing it, would you Kei?" One of the Lovely Angels
asked of the other, as the latter pulled out her incredibly
powerful laser pistol.

"Pegasus?" He tried his next to last PokeBall of that day,
only to have the equine immediately subject itself to the
dazing caresses of a dozen horse-crazed teenage girls. ~I am
beginning to think I am losing the war against cute.~

The depleted Mage took a step back as the crowd of would-be
nurses stepped forward. No magic, no... Hey! He was a druid
of surpassing level! He could call on elementals without
using spells or anything! Just summon them because they
liked and trusted him so much! The badly drained spellcaster
knelt and put his hand on the ground. "EARTH!"

A huge earth elemental of surpassing size and power loomed
halfway up out of the soil's embracing grip, took one look
at the advancing crowd of nurses and help up a sign. "Sorry.
I like and trust you but those girls *scare* me."

Situation Analysis: I am about to be killed by the girls who
love me most. Mina has a syringe that compares to medicine
the same way the Spanish Inquisition compares to asking the
time of day. I'm immune to normal weapons, but then so is sh
e from what I've done to her and thus she can hurt me even
with mundane objects, the energy of her enchantment
equalling mine. Luckily, I'm immune to poison (three ways)
and disease (two ways), so *maybe* it would be best just to
subject myself to their efforts and live through it, rather
than injure myself trying more to escape it.

At that moment Naga the White Serpent exited the tent,
having changed her usual black,
barely-adequate-and-not-quite-that micro bikini for a white
one of the same style and added a nurses cap to the top. She
began her crazy noblewoman laugh and twirled a pair of
handcuffs. "Well, if our patient is reluctant maybe we had
better restrain him, no?"

Kodachi stepped up to her side, dressed demurely (which
meant without a doubt that she was wearing something kinky
underneath and just waiting for a moment to dramatically
swep this off) in a white nurses gown and snapping on a
latex glove that went clear to her elbow.

Jared sweatdropped.

The Akane (non hentai) marionette type exited the tent
bearing a tray full of steaming filth. "Hey everyone! I
cooked breakfast for our patient."

Acting without hesitation, Jared snapped the next PokeBall
off his belt. ~Desperate times called for desperate
measures.~ "Mara! I choose you!! Get me out of here!" That
required a little extra thought. "Umm, nothing evil. I
couldn't handle it just now, and um, try to keep me on this
planet, just away from them. Okay?"

---------

Kasumi was the first one into the bathroom, having heard the
wailing of a lost soul. "What's wrong, Akane?"

The blackhaired girl in the bathroom pointed shakily at the
mirror. "That... i... it... horrible. Horrible. It's... a
nightmare. It's got to be."

Kasumi looked into the mirror but couldn't see it. "What is
it, Akane? Did you see something?"

"i... Kasumi! It's..." Akane shuddered.

Kasumi was shocked. Her tough little sister was crying and
looked decidedly ill. "There, there, Akane..." Kasumi noted
that Akane flinched at the sound of her own name. How odd.
"Whatever it is, I'm sure it'll be all right."

Akane glanced again at the mirror and shuddered. "Somehow i
doubt that, Kasumi."

---------

Asgard:

"AAaaaaaaaaaaa!" Celeste said, summing up the situation
quite well.

"What's wrong?" Belle was working with the log system and
hadn't noticed anything particularly wrong as of yet.

"Grey's dead in two timelines. His android girlfriends have
just dug themselves in and are preparing to shut themselves
down. Terratwo is about to go to outright war, and the
Pheonix Mage is... well he's not in Terratwo anymore."
Celeste started checking files. "Where's the Third Labor
timeline, is he still there?!"

"It'll be awhile before we rebuild datalinks," Belle
remarked. "Trying to track the Pheonix Mage is difficult at
best. Though that call from Urd tells me where he *was* at
least."

---------

Another universe entirely:

"Okay, I take it this family meeting is what to do about
Akane," Nabiki flopped down into her chair. "She tried to
hang herself from the stairway yesterday. Lousy job of it,
didn't know enough not to use stretch pantyhose."

"She tried sticking her head in the oven the day before
that. Oh, that was in the morning. In the evening she'd
recovered enough to go lie down in the street." Kasumi was
fretting. Nice girls didn't repeatedly try to commit
suicide.

Nabiki held up a hand. "Waitaminute, isn't the waterheater
gas and the stove electric? And we don't get any traffic
around here normally."

"Well, Mrs Yamani *did* manage to run over her with a
bicycle, but it wasn't quite the effect Akane was trying
for." Kasumi continued to fret. "Oh dear. Do you have any
idea why she's doing it?"

"And at school she threw herself from the roof. TWICE. The
first time she landed on Kuno. Akane also tried to find the
family cermonial tanto. I've hidden it of course." Nabiki
shrugged. "Maybe the stress of school with Kuno's challenge
just got to her."

"Kasumi! Nabiki! I can't believe my little girl would even
consider such a thing," Soun drew as much stoic dignity
about himself as he could.

Akane stuck her head in the doorway. "Kasumi? Where are all
your knives? i've been all over the kitchen and i can't find
any."

"They're... out to be sharpened! Yes, that's it." Kasumi was
sending little sweatdrops everywhere.

"Oh..." Akane looked disappointed. "Well, i'll be in my room
if anyone wants me."

Akane trudged up the stairs while three family members
watched her.

"Kasumi, have you removed all sharp edges from her room?"

"Yes, Nabiki." Kasumi sighed. "What are we going to do?"

"Oh my," said Soun.

----------

Third Labor timeline:

Mara (aka Marller) was OUT of that damn PokeBall! Finally.
She'd been in there since halfway through the Second Labor!

His wish had been clear, however, and she was bound by that
damn sphere herself. The PokeBall was one of several "knock
offs" developed by Raphael that used magic instead of some
alien technology. Among the alterations was a Compulsion To
Obey. This rankled but Mara didn't see a choice but going
along with it for now. Though being a Demon First Class, she
also *had* to twist it. The planet was Earth. There were a
LOT of Earths. She had to go with him (he was still holding
that damn PokeBall and she could feel her connection to the
damn thing still) which meant a hostile environment version
of Earth was out of the question. And he'd said nothing Evil
which precluded a lot of other possibilities.

Which meant... Mara sent her consciousness out to the
nearest clusters of stable lines that had Earths...

"Toriohime! I choose you!" (poof!) "Windy, return to your
power contained!" (poof!) "A-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-TA!" (poof!)
"Anpanman, you're here!" (poof & shudder) "Saint Tail! Stop
right there!" (poof!) "You blockhead!" (poof!)

Ah, Mara snapped her fingers. PERFECT!

----------

Nerima, a Ranma/Akumakun timeline:

"Akane? May I come in?"

"Uhm, sure, Kasumi."

Kasumi entered her youngest sister's bedroom and immediately
started cataloging the changes. It was almost as if Akane
was divesting herself of as many female influences as
possible. The room looked spartan compared to Akane's usual
clutter. Akane herself was in a lotus position on the floor.
"Errrr. Akane. I don't know how to put this..."

"What is it, Kasumi?" Akane looked up at her big sister for
a moment.

"Akane, I understand that you were injured at school today."
Kasumi began fidgeting again, not sure how she could handle
any of this.

"Yeah. Kuno. What a wimp. Freaked at the sight of a little
blood." Akane shrugged, then winced and her hand shot
towards her ribcage.

"Nabiki said that you let Kuno-san hit you, that you impaled
yourself on his blade stating that the only way he could
have you was in death." Kasumi winced. Nabiki's description
had been quite graphic.

"Yeah. Geez, you should have seen him. Damn near went into
catatonia. i tried to get him to complete the second thrust
but he was MOST uncooperative." Akane shook her head.

Kasumi nodded at the confirmation. From what Nabiki had
said, Tatewaki Kuno was likely still curled up in a ball and
mouthing denials. "Akane, I'm... sorry."

Akane stared at KASUMI crying. "Oh geez. Don't do that. What
have you got to be sorry about?"

"But I've obviously failed to raise you or Nabiki well. I've
failed Mother's trust. Nabiki is just a greedy skinflint
with a need to prove her intellectual edge at the cost of
others, while you're a violent maniac who's trying to kill
herself!"

Nabiki, listening at the wall, frowned at this summation of
herself.

"Oh, don't say that, Kasumi. You did everything you could
but you were just a kid yourself." Akane looked at the tears
for a moment more. "Well, i don't like the idea of suicide
but living *this* life is just unbearable. Please don't cry.
Kasumi... if i could do something for you, i would..."

"Promise me..."

Akane blinked. "Promise you what?"

"If you care at all for me or Nabiki, for our family,
PROMISE me you won't go killing yourself." Kasumi stared
tearfully at her little squirming sister. "Promise me, or...
I'll join you!" ~Please please don't call my bluff.~

"WHAT?! THAT'S CRAZY!"

"It's my failure and my responsibility," argued Kasumi.

Akane stared for a moment then mumbled something under her
breath.

"What was that, Akane?"

"All right, already. i promise that i won't intentionally
kill myself." Akane's head lowered. ~Damn, i seem to have
gotten Ranma's vulnerability to crying women.~

Nabiki silently applauded Kasumi. She hadn't mentioned some
of the things that had frightened off the horde of hentai at
school. One of whom had glomped Akane only to find she was
in the process of pouring gasoline over herself.

The school was scared. Heck, KUNO was scared. Glomp or hit
on her, and poom - off she'd go to end it all. She was quite
obviously not taking care of herself, no makeup, it looked
like she'd stopped trying to brush or clean her hair, had
rings under her eyes and a tired/depressed air about her.
And then there had been Daisuke. Daisuke had groped her,
figuring Akane was too far gone to care. She had reached
down, grabbed his nuts, and had then... Nope. NOBODY wanted
to date Akane anymore.

The paramedics had packed everything in ice, and they'd been
able to reattach his... and the doctors said that there was
a good chance he'd regain sensation!

Nabiki had to admit that watching Kuno squirm on hearing the
details, well, *that* part had been fun. Kuno now looked on
Akane with fear. And if Nabiki enjoyed twisting the knife on
a few people, pointing out that it was *their* actions that
had caused her little sister to be changed from the cute
tomboy to someone who didn't care if she (or anyone
accosting her) lived and would prefer not making it through
another day, well that was just Nabiki's fun.

Though it had taken today's events to break through the
usual denials from Kuno. He had had *Akane's* blood on his
hands, literally.

Yuka and Sayuri were afraid to come anywhere near the
friend. Akane just didn't seem like the same person.

---------

An SMJ Timeline:

Everyone watched the girl in the strange clothing nervously.

She walked in an odd manner around the smurf on the floor,
eyeing him critically, before nodding. "Yup. I can fix this.
You want to be human, right?"

"Yes! Yes! No more singing at night and unaccountable
cravings for whatever a 'smurfberry' is. No more being
stepped on or chased by cats. No more being a deformed blue
munchkin!"

"Sounds like a yes to me." The woman raised slender limbs
the color of dark chocolate over her head, and a glow
gathered between her hands.
"Building blocks of life now heed,
Double helix hear me plead,
Change this one who's smurf in form,
To human variable now conform!"

Ieyasu looked up from where he was kneeling. "I'm...."

"Human." Edema nodded. "Ah well, we can't all have the grace
and innate beauty of a dark elf, can we? Oh ho ho ho ho ho.
Errr. Sorry about that. I just watched a 'Slayers'
marathon."

"How can I repay you? That..." Ieyasu wasn't sure what to
say.

"Forgive him, he's a bright elf. They always think they know
better than everyone else what's good for everyone else."
Edema shrugged. "Not that most dark elves are any better. I
left my homeland 'cause I couldn't stomach that sort of
thing. Hoighty toity light elves, nasty vicious dark elves.
Silly really. Two sides of the same coin and pride is the
foundation of both."

"ahhhh..." None of those present were quite sure what to
make of this.

"Oh, is this your attempt to rebuild Banana?" Edema crossed
to the table.

"Well... that is..." Gennai began to get nervous now.

"Hey, just because I'm an archmage who grew up in a
psuedo-medieval setting doesn't mean I can't ask questions.
I asked Celeste. Nice girl, if she'd get over the weird
clothes fetish and relax a little."

"Weird clothes?" Gennai looked at the stiletto heeled calf
length boots, the green and gold clothing that didn't hide
much of the girl's dark skin, and the tattoo on her left arm
depicting the silhoutte of a woman dancing. He spent a
moment wondering what this woman(?} considered odd clothing.

Edema saw him stare and tapped the tattoo. "My patron. The
Dancer, the Moonsword. I'd say the elven name but you humans
never pronounce it right. Now let's see. You've got partial
brain tapes and you use these to simulate engram patterns,
right? Giving the android partial memories of the original
Grey. Except that it didn't work too well with the second
Ginseng, did it?"

Nobody refuted that.

"Let *me* try," suggested Edema.
"Gather here the spirit trace,
To this golem give embrace,
a quickening of mind and heart,
reborn now within this part!"

Ginseng3 gasped and spasmed, then seemed to go to sleep.

"That might do it," suggested Edema. "Now for how you're
going to pay me back."

The nervous tension in the room grew palpable.

"You're going to take a DNA sample from me," said Edema,
throwing her hair back and smirking. "Because if that
Mage-boy comes back here and finds a lot of half-drow babies
it's gonna put a major torque in his shorts!"

"But we don't want trouble..." The human again Ieyasu said.
If it meant giving up his humanity again to safeguard his
people he'd do it in a heartbeat. He'd been willing to die
to bring back human women and rescue Lorelei. Having done it
before, he'd do it again.

"Nah, he'll probably just cast a spell to change 'em into
half bright-elves, or whatever they call them in his neck of
the woods." Edema shrugged. "And don't tell me you couldn't
use the genetic diversity. Six guys and one woman don't
exactly fill your genetic cup to the brim. Especially when
NONE of you were genetic experts."

"Well, that's true." Ieyasu nodded.

"What do you mean?" Otaru asked, confused. But then he'd
been lost early into all of this.

"None of the six guys who landed on Terratwo was an expert
at genetic engineering." Edema gave a "what can I say"
gesture. "The six guys were an 'away team' - a geologist, a
biologist, a botanist, an engineer who happened to be a
robotics expert, a security guard/communications officer,
and a pilot. The ship's computer went nuts before the
genetics experts or anyone else was ready to leave, just the
scout team that was supposed to decide where to put the
colony. Otherwise they'd have been able to take the Xs from
two guys and try to make a woman."

"We did. But in those days the machines were breaking down
and it would be a slow road to rebuild our technology to
that level. We ended up using the mongrelizing clone process
that was originally intended for taking a couple of animals
and recreating enough of them to make a viable species. The
clone banks and genetic samples were all on the shuttle,
otherwise we would never have made it past that first
generation." Ieyasu sighed. "It was a hard time and tempers
frayed, causing our split from a single colony to the six
countries we have today."

"True. Now your timeline has seperated enough for me to do
this, mind you - once I leave your land I won't return.
You'll never see me again." Edema paused to smile openly.
"Except perhaps in the likeness of the occasional
darkskinned whitehaired child."

--------

Elsewhere:

The note read:

"Tendo,
Boy got injured while training. Dropping him off while I
attend to other business. Proceed with Plan.
Saotome."

Soun glanced down at the heavily bandaged boy sleeping
peacefully on his front porch and began to cry tears of
happiness. Why, they weren't due to arrive for weeks yet!
And Genma's handwriting had improved immensely! He tiptoed
away from the darkhaired boy so as not to wake him and give
him an early start, I mean startle him needlessly, and went
to find his daughters.

"Kasumi?" He looked to find the kitchen empty, ingredients
left in haste. Kasumi left a mess in the kitchen? Was the
Apocalypse coming? Plodding up the stairs he opened the door
to Nabiki's room. "Nabiki?"

His middle daughter emerged from her sleep looking terrible.
Eyes closed she muttered. "It's five o' clock in the
morning. Couldn't it wait, Daddy?"

"Have you seen Kasumi or Akane out?" He should've known it
was a ridiculous question, but Nabiki often answered them
anyway.

She looked out of her window, not stirring from her bed.
Then her eyes grew slightly larger and she rushed over to
the window, followed by her father. "So *that's* what she
wanted the extra bricks and boards for. I thought she was
going to go back to martial arts practice with them."

Soun looked out the window and became instantly terrified,
turning himself about and rushing downstairs. Nabiki merely
opened the window and leaned out, calling down. "Akane, I
thought you'd promised not to *do* that anymore?"

Akane glanced up from where she was losing the struggle with
Kasumi for possession of the rope. "Oh, hi Nabiki. No, This
isn't covered under the promise at all."

Nabiki took in the scaffold and trap door, with newly
painted sign which proclaimed "Hang the Psycho-bitch, only
5,000 yen (payable to Nabiki)."

"This most certainly *is* covered under your promise!"
Kasumi objected, yanking away the rope her kid sister had
been trying to tie into a noose. "You said that you wouldn't
ever kill yourself."

Akane pointed to the lever, almost six feet away from the
trapdoor. "Do you think i'm pulling that by myself? No, i
was just helping Nabiki out with her money-hungry schemes.
This way i'm out of the picture and make Nabiki and someone
else happy! i figure i want to die and if someone wants to
pay for the privilege of killing me i *wouldn't* be doing
the dirty deed myself."

Nabiki felt oddly used and soiled by that statement. Sure
she liked money, but to be used as her sister's excuse just
felt... wrong. Did Akane really see her like that? The
thought made Nabiki sick. This being the third time in the
past week that Akane had made a reference to this image of
her shorthaired sister, and the apparent sincerity in each
case, had been giving Nabiki some painful soul searching.
"Akane! How could you?"

Akane blinked with a sincerely puzzled expression. "Was it
too cheap?"

"AKANE!!" Soun bellowed, exploding out from the lower level
of the house, enveloping her in a restraining hug and
washing her hair with his tears. "PLEASE! Don't kill
yourself. You have to think of the future of the school!"
sob. "And just as things were about to go so well for us."

"Screw the school. Has the Anything Goes made *one* person
happy? Has it ever saved a life or served a greater purpose!
The Anything Goes Style was created by a perverted little
monster for the purpose of stealing underwear!" Akane
protested from within the glomp. "If you want the school to
continue TEACH STUDENTS!"

"B-b-but..." Soun was beginning to register Akane's words.

"But what do you expect of a style developed by HAPPOSAI?!"

Soun shrank back as if a hot iron had been applied. "No!
Don't say that name!"

Akane frowned. "Well, if you're going to be THAT
unreasonable, there's only one avenue left open to me..."

A little later, with a moan, a young man wandered over to
the source of the shouting. Blearily, the youth took in the
sight of Soun holding a squirming Akane helpless, Nabiki in
her pajamas sitting on the scaffold steps, Kasumi standing
by with a partially tied noose, and very deliberately read
the sign. Then he looked back up, holding his head to reduce
the pain. "Wow, Nabiki! What blackmail material did you get
over everyone *this* time? Only don't you think that's a
little cheap? I mean you'll only get to hang her once, don't
you think you could get more for it?"

Nabiki's iron control faded and her lips trembled.
Unfortunately, at that moment Kasumi chose to speak almost
the exact words she was thinking. "Wow, Nabiki, even total
strangers believe you are capable of doing this for money."

"Or spite." The former redhead interjected, searching
through his pockets. "Who knows? Akane might have snubbed
her sister at a party or something. I'm sorry, I don't have
the 5,000 yen on me at the moment..."

Nabiki closed her eyes and shuddered, while Soun and Akane
ceased struggling to regard the boy.

Rather too out of it to notice the response he got, the boy
went on. "But really, don't you even want to cover funeral
expenses? Oh, I forgot, you'll probably have a 'dismember
the body' party or something and charge admission, then sell
the remains by the pound. Never let a resource go to waste,
that's Nabiki."

Soun began to wail about his daughter having arranged all of
this to make money.

The Ranma-lookalike watched in puzzlement as the middle
Tendo broke out bawling and ran into the house. "Was it
something I said?" He asked, honestly puzzled in his hazy
confusion why she would act like that.

Then again, in his state of being newly on the recovery from
being nine-tenths dead himself, the harshness of his own
words escaped him. At this point he didn't even realize that
he was disguised as Ranma Saotome. Yawning, the bandaged
youth wandered over and took Kasumi by the hand, guided her
down to the grass, curled up around her and went back to
sleep.

Kasumi was sitting there stiffly, blinking her tumbled
brains out.

Soun began the ever-so-classic wail about the houses about
to be joined.

Akane found herself free to go, and began to wonder what to
do with herself. Then she noted the boy was wearing a sword
and that it was Ranma. Sword wielding Ranma? How odd. Not
that she hadn't seen stranger things.

Asleep with his head in her lap, the boy mumbled something
that began with "'sumi-chan..."

----------

RIFTS Earth:

Apple hesitated. "So... Master has a native version?"

The girl leaned back against the wall and seemed to
contemplate the ceiling. "He and thee have bound thy
essences twice. And like he, thou dost continue to gather
fragments of thyself that be scattered through the
timelines."

"What exactly is your tie to Master," Grape asked, "you...
aren't a fiancee, are you?"

"Bragi's balls, child, NO. I've already got enough on mine
plate. And before thee ask, NOT that fellow." She shook her
head. "What his local Analogue be is what they call a
techno-wizard. When the Wanderer doth return, he shall merge
with the local and add to the gestalt."

"Then Master will return?" Honey asked of the stranger.

"Aye," said the woman, holding up a finger. "First the Life
Line spell. Cast once when thy current versions first did
meet, then renewed by thee in the next timeline. It is this
which, more than anything else, marks you as incompatible
with your Senshi identities. Sworn to someone other than thy
princess, after all, is not in keeping with those
identities. Seek thy hearts, do you not see the words
emblazoned within? Thou art sworn to serve him as thy
liege."

The marionette identities had little problem with this. Some
of the others did.

"Second," the woman said, holding up a second finger. "The
ties were reborn when the cat did his own deal with thee.
Merge with thy other selves in the land of the Pheonix Mage,
or thy lives and his would be forever bound together."

A few aspects remembered that, for others this was news to
them.

"Third," the woman added a third finger to the two she held
up. "Thee may be interested to see what the local aspect of
this Grey is doing... and who he be with." Fleece grinned.
This would cement the deal for sure. If only her translator
was working right.

----------

McAngus Village, near the ruins of Wickenburg in Arizona,
RIFTS Earth.

"Suzi, did you feel that?" The man in Urban Warrior armor
backed up slightly and pulled a rod off his belt.

The woman with long green hair nodded but remained silent.

The rod had a crystalline top which rotated with an odd
noise. "C'mon, let's get back to Quartzite. Something's
scanning for us."

-----------

"Please, please, kill me! i'm an uncute brute, i'm a vicious
violent thug, the world will be a better place without me!"

Jared stared at Akane for a moment, then looked around to
see if Rod Serling was waiting in the wings or something.
"Uhm..."

"PLEASE KILL ME! i don't deserve to live! i'm a horrid
person. i can't cook, i'm manipulative and vain and evil!"

Jared starts backing up, *really* wishing he could cast a
few spells right now. Detect Lie, Detect Evil, Detect
Invisible... "Wait a minute, errrr, something isn't right
here."

Akane pulls out a mallet. "C'mon. i'm armed now and
attacking! You can do it! Just one quick thrust and you can
claim it was self defense."

Jared's sword was out and lopping the top of the mallet off
in a single quick stroke. Which immediately came down on
Akane's head and knocked her out.

"What the heck?!" Jared stared puzzled as Akane recovered
from her faint. "Why? How? What?!"

Akane frowned and tried another tack. "What, are you a
coward then? Not much of a man at all are you?!"

Jared gripped the sword a bit tighter until he noticed
Akane's grin and that she was watching the sword. She...
genuinely wanted him to kill her?

Seeing him hesitate, Akane tried some more. "Coward! Little
girl! Instead of doing something heroic like saving the
world from an insidious cancerous evil, you choose not to
face your responsibilities. Are you TRYING to be like your
Oyaji!"

*CLANK!*

Jared lowered the blade, having used the flat to knock Akane
out again. "This has just gone beyond weird into the realm
of ludicrous. I must have gotten hurt worse than I thought."

He pulled out a PokeBall. "Mara! I choose you!"

"Yes!" The gloating demoness materialized in a swirl, then
turned sultry eyes on the mage. "Anything I can do for you,
lover boy?"

He immediately grew suspicious. "Oh, yeah. I should have
realized. Tempting me to break my marriage vows would be
evil, and of particular satisfaction to *you* because of how
much it would hurt Belldandy. No thank you."

Mara acquired the typical 'what a wonderful idea'
expression.

Jared waved the thought away, not having noticed. "No, I was
going to ask. What did you do to me, where am I, and why is
Akane acting less evil this time? I believe I've actually
seen remorse in those eyes and self-loathing, both of which
she's normally too impenetrably proud to feel." He
considered thoughtfully. 'Though if she *were* to feel them
she's got enough evil deeds stacked up to feel potential
remorse over that could explain why she'd be acting like
this."

He shook his head. "I've been around Scarlet too long. It
used to be a reflex action: see Akane, kill Akane. As
natural as breathing. But something's gone wrong here." He
regarded the demoness with a wary eye. "So what is it?"

"Well, for one thing," Mara said thoughtfully, producing a
mirror.

Jared frowned, glanced into it, then squeaked. "WHAT?!
What's the meaning of this?"

Mara waggled a finger. "You're hiding, remember. This was
the nearest timeline that didn't have evil dominating,
habitable, and where my meager abilities could hide you. And
it's a pretty damn good disguise, if I say so myself. With
the amount of manna I've got right now, you should be
grateful."

"So you made me look like *Ranma*?!" Jared frowned then gave
it up with a sigh.

"Hey, it's difficult to see anything from the bottom of
stuffspace but I overheard enough that you're familiar with
the role." Mara shrugged. "Until I find a way to get that
PokeBall away from you, I'm stuck with you."

"Mara, return," Jared/Ranma said, holding the PokeBall up
and waiting until the demon was sucked inside. Actually,
this wasn't bad. He might be able to make it work. Now if he
could just figure out what the heck he'd walked into...

-----------

Jared sat back in the tub, confused by the events of the
day.

*SHHOOOSH!*

Jared slowly brought his head up to see Akane standing in
the doorway. He was ready for it. He knew the scene by
heart.

"Oh sorry. i didn't know it was in use. My apologies." Akane
bowed and closed the door. There came the rustle of clothes
being put back on and the outer door opening and closing.

Jared realized his jaw was hanging down so far that he was
taking in water. That had been...

Akane making a mistake. Taking responsibility for it. And
apologizing.

"Arrggghhhhhh! How OOC can you get?!" Jared asked the
ceiling, almost expecting a reply.

-----------

Jared got up with the sunrise, feeling better, and realized
someone was practicing katas below in the yard. Akane. Or
whatever that smiling THING was.

"Hey, brother-in-law!" Akane called out, apparently seeing
Jared at the same time. "Wanna spar?"

Jared nodded, THIS was at least in the usual script. Then
realized he had just agreed to the sparring match. "Oh my."

"Don't worry, Kasumi," Akane called into the house, "i won't
rough up your fiance!"

"Confident, are you?" Jared said, taking a stance. Then
frowning. Akane's center and breathing didn't match the
profile he was expecting. Not in his class. Not NEARLY in
his class. But sufficiently good that she would have given
Ryoga Hibiki a hard time. Both of the combatants noted the
presence of two girls and an older man watching from the
sidelines and dismissed them. Akane bowed deeply, but her
eyes never moved from her opponent.

Jared bowed back, not as deeply, but also not taking his
eyes from his opponent. They simultaneously went into
"ready" stances and held position in a psychic duel.

A leaf blew between them.

Akane all but exploded towards Jared, rotating for a flying
kick that Jared immediately realized was feint for an en
passant manuever. Jared ducked and rolled, avoiding the
grab, and bounced into his own attack.

"Oh... MY!" Kasumi said as the two fighters blurred into a
series of punches, counterpunches, kicks, blocks, and other
manuevers that Kasumi couldn't immediately name.

"Kachuu Tenshin Amaguriken!" Akane announced, throwing
twenty five punches a second towards Ranma.

"Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire," said "Ranma", blocking
with the same technique and wondering how the heck Akane had
learned AMAZON techniques. Though she was only about a
quarter of as fast as she should be.

"Bakusai Tenken," tried Akane, blowing a huge divot in the
ground. Then spitting as she'd had her mouth open during
that and had gotten dirt in her mouth.

Jared backed up. Yes, if he went all out the fight would be
over. Yet he was "Ranma" for the moment and Ranma only
fought full out in very rare circumstances. Besides, he was
learning more about this odd Akane, though none of it made
any sense.

"Shi... shi... hokodan!" Akane fired off a quick burst of
green chi.

Nabiki openly stared. Akane... had gotten good. REALLY good.
One could tell that she was going all out, that Ranma
wasn't, but what Akane was doing was still quite impressive.

The two came to a stop. Jared had nearly died recently, and
so was somewhat out of breath. Akane trembled on the edge of
exhaustion and panted heavily.

"Not... (pant) bad... (gasp), Ranma." Akane said. "But try
this!"

Seeing that Akane was about to try the Grandmaster Blow, and
botch it, Jared moved. He leapt up, landed behind Akane and
tapped her in the back of the head.

"I know what you planned," Jared said in a low voice, eyes
narrowed. "You planned on our fight increasing in speed and
severity until I accidently killed you."

Akane panted and quietly agreed. "You gonna do it, Ranma?"

"Nice try," mumbled Jared/Ranma.

"Akane?! When did you learn those techniques?" Soun had been
rather amazed at the performance of his youngest. That
Genma's son was good was only to be expected.

"Recent developments. This was the first chance i had to try
them out like that." Akane made a gesture towards her
opponent, and not an impolite one. "Though Ranma here is
*much* better than I could be. I've never had nearly the
sort of focus he has for the Art."

Jared staggered again, surprised anew. Akane was being
generous? Humble? Honest?

"So, son, have you decided yet which of my little girls
you're going to make happy?" Soun turned his attention to
the most important matter now that Genma's son was conscious
and cognizant.

Akane blurted out quickly: "Oh, he wants Kasumi!"

"Huh?!" Again Jared staggered under a scene going completely
different from what he expected.

Kasumi and Nabiki blinked.

"Oh yes," Akane said. "Since i promised i wouldn't kill
myself, i shall instead shave my head and become a nun -
dedicating myself to a life of privation and suffering in
the cause of helping others. In such a way, perhaps i can
make up in some small measure for being such an evil
psycho-bitch."

Everyone present sweatdropped. Jared considered facefaulting
but he still wasn't completely recovered from his battle
with the demon.

"Besides, Ranma has been horribly abused all his life by his
father and to heal him of those experiences requires a
gentle touch. That's Kasumi. Nabiki couldn't be kind and
gentle if you paid her."

"Urk," Nabiki said, leaning over and clutching her chest.

"Kasumi likes to cook, Ranma likes to eat, Kasumi's gentle
and thoughtful, Ranma's got a lot of experience with the Art
but not that much with Life." Akane shrugged and smiled
playfully. "Kasumi's beautiful and intelligent, kind and
talented. Her strengths compliment Ranma's, instead of
competing with him. It's a good match, don't ya think?"

"WHAT?! How can you join a nunnery?!" Soun focussed on the
bit that Akane had hoped would be overlooked during her
recitation of why Kasumi was the best choice. "I forbid it!"

"Well, put that way, it does sound logical," agreed Jared
absently.

"Oh my," said Kasumi, blushing prettily. Akane might be a
suicidal maniac, but she certainly had made a good argument.

"No!" Nabiki snuggled against one side. "I can be the kind
and nurturing type too!" Besides, after all these
relevations about how people viewed her as a heartless
mercenary, Nabiki just wanted someone to hold her and give
some degree of comfort. Unfortunately, the guy wasn't
responding.

"Well, son?" Soun asked Jared before turning his attention
back to Akane. "Don't think that this is the end of this
conversation, young lady!"

Jared blinked. "I'm sorry. What was the question?"

Soun facefaulted, then did his best Looming Horror look.
"Which of my daughters are you going to marry?"

"You want Kasumi!" Akane suggested. "I mean look at her.
Beautiful, graceful, intelligent, a good cook! Okay, she's a
bit shy, tends to be in the background. That's why you're
perfect for her! She needs to get out more, get more
excitment into her life, and she's such a caring person that
someone who can care BACK is ideal."

Everyone stared a moment at Akane, who just said "what?!"

Soun was about to speak again when Akane continued. "On the
other hand there's Nabiki. A heartless profiteer with no
sense of honor. A flawed soul doomed to loneliness whose
dreams of conquering the business world will have her a Wall
Street Privateer by 24, and a has-been eating out of
trashcans by 29." Akane spoke from experience, having
witnessed the rise and fall of Nabiki Tendo a few times.
Eventually she fell, her habits by the time of the failed
first wedding between Ranma and Akane having reduced her to
a mercenary shell, and being able to trust no one or nobody,
and not being trusted by anyone eventually reducing her to
the insane wretch he'd seen on six different timelines. Not
pretty.

As this occurred to her, it also occurred that this might be
it- the reason that HIS spirit had been reincarnated into
the body of a recently drowned Akane. Maybe the family got
even worse off without Akane (as hard as that was to
believe) so...

"Oddly enough, I can see that happening. Where nobody trusts
her, nobody likes her, and she turns her back on the world
itself. Rather like Gollum in the Hobbit..." Jared(Ranma)
nodded.

Nabiki twitched a few times. This guy wasn't responding to
her hug. Not good. Her family hadn't noticed. Bad. They were
casually discussing her as if she had become some loathsome
little creature to whom profit was the only good. She'd had
enough self-doubt and guilt eating away at her for the past
week that she wasn't able to dismiss the concept out of
hand. She had some friends, but they tended to be more like
casual acquaintances and colleagues. Henchwomen perhaps...

"Oh my," Kasumi said, still blushing over Akane's earlier
words. "I..."

Jared thought for a moment. "Uhm, Mister Tendo. I'm really
tired right now. I haven't nearly recovered from my
injuries. I think I need a quick lie down."

"Oh..." Soun frowned, but the boy *did* look pale. "Okay,
son, but by dinner tonight, we'll need your decision."

---------

Third Labor timeline:

The silver dragon dropped out of the sky and considered the
mesa below her. If she understood right, this particular
mountaintop would remain unclaimed for several hundred
years. Even when the Anasazi broke up into their smaller
tribes, and the Hopi occupied the three mesas far to the
South, this land would remain clear. Particularly if she
took action NOW.

That Pheonix Mage had promised. SHE had not. And it was HER
consort- Nebula, Princess Serenity's father, that was going
to need help here.

The dragon shifted into a silver haired girl, who had
eschewed her normal gowns for clothing that was a little
more practical in the unhewn wilderness. HER association
with the Pheonix Mage had not been as a wife or lover.

(Well, it had looked likely briefly, then the Mage had found
a way to deflect at least one suitor.)

This looked like an ideal place to put a city where allies
would abide until called centuries hence.

As a group of Amazon refugees gated in, Queen Serenity
summoned power.

---------

Back in the Ranma/Akumakun timeline.

Kasumi was starting to put dinner on the table. "Ranma, what
was that you were doing earlier?"

The displaced mage took a moment to recognize that she meant
*him*, then spent a moment fruitlessly churning mental
wheels still loose from the overwheming strain he'd put them
under during the fight. In an odd moment of unrelated
insight, he discovered this was pretty close to what Shan
must feel absorbing techniques, only she had more practice
with it than he did.

He roused himself from the introspective stupor a bit before
Kasumi began wondering if she should repeat her question.
"Sorry, 'sumi-chan. What was I doing earlier that drew your
attention?"

She blinked. "The part where you were glowing and floating
off the floor."

Nabiki and Soun refocused their attention away from the
meal. Jared/Ranma relaxed. ~Whew!~ "Oh, that was nothing. A
chi meditation technique I picked up to reharness internal
energies. The glowing comes from a techique called Dragon
Chi, where you tie into the natural flow of power in the
world. I use it to divert a portion for rebuilding my
reserves, which are pretty badly depleted." He sniffed at
the meal. ~Hmm, smells delicious.~

Kasumi joined the others, kneeling at the table and removing
the cover from a steaming rice and pork dish. Taking his
plate to serve him, she asked. "And the levitating?"

The mage had to chuckle. "Um, I learned how to do that
studying a Flying Dragon style of kung fu, and it keeps
cropping up at the oddest moments." He sighed, thinking back
to his early pre-saving the world adventuring days. "Once or
twice when we've been low I've sat out on a street corner
with a sign 'Will Levitate For Food.' It's worked pretty
well. But really, when we've got some operating cash I FAR
prefer to set myself up as a confectioner or a Martial Art
performance cook. Cutting salads while I and the ingredients
are both in mid air is impressive, but it doesn't taste
nearly as good as yours."

"Wasn't it Akane who used the chi blast in that sparring
match you had?" Nabiki intruded, determined not to be left
out in this conversation. "How was it your reserves got so
low?" She spent a moment on how to insinuate a come on in
that question and failed, determining that she may as well
let this one slide to build a 'trustworthy confederate' role
which she could work on and expand. She wasn't out of this
by a long shot!

Ranma looked at her, as if surprised to see her (which, in
his muddled condition, he actually was having some
difficulty keeping track of some things like that). "Hmm?
Oh, no. It wasn't the fight at all. I'd been killing demons
and the last one wouldn't go down without a battle royal. I
got him, but not before he'd destroyed a couple hundred
people. Kasumi, can I have some more rice, please?"

A cold wind blew through the house as all of the others sat
like icicles.

Jared was torn. It had been two full days since the battle,
and his recovery left much to be desired. Chi was burbling
back, more slowly than he would've liked, but it was coming.
Magic potential, on the other hand, was dribbling in in
unsatisfactory amounts. He had some natural abilities
restored, but nothing in the way of spell points yet, and
those were important.

He began to consider his 'godly recharge' and wondered if he
stole a few kisses if it would be taken wrong.

----------

The refugees looked over their new cities in wonderment.

Queen Serenity had meant to go forward a mere two hundred
years to 411 AD. Instead, the gateways centered on her had
carried the refugees to the North American continent- but in
the year 911 AD instead - seven hundred years after China
had fallen to evil.

Other refugees had been culled from other disasters, as not
everyone had been able to follow the signal precisely. When
Korea had been besieged and finally crushed by the hordes,
the marionette sorceress Lina had brought a small army of
refugees forward. When the divine wind had failed and Japan
had largely been crushed and ransacked by the Chinese,
another small army of women and children had been plucked
forth by Deedlit and Pirotesse. When the darkness sent
raiding parties into Russia, others brought a few survivors
forward in time.

So it was that nine mountains each had a single village.
Each village had its own customs or language. Each also had
something in common.

A pledge, an obligation of honor, a prophesy to be
fulfilled.

------------

RIFTS Earth: about 75 miles from New Phoenix

As his wives/marionettes/companions, they had had little
trouble going through Grey's things. That had produced a
small amount of gold, among other things, and the group had
quickly found and bought a vehicle capable of taking them to
the location on their maps.

They had changed as well, the mergers of their various
aspects producing a different being than the ones who had
arrived. Though they were not completely merged mentally or
personally.

Rei Hino was Rei Hino. She had gone through two lifetimes as
a sometimes-psychic reincarnated girl of a vanished Moon
Kingdom, and once as the Princess Mars *of* that kingdom.
Melon had vanished for the most part, having had only a tiny
amount of time aware in that incarnation. She had become
wholly human, and therefore the most vulnerable of any of
the travellers. Without a hensshin pen or other means of
transformation, Princess Mars remained an unrealized
possibility.

Grape was Hotaru was Saturn, and while she preferred the
name Hotaru, was a human seeming cyborg with the strength
and speed and endurance of a Sabre Marionette. So she might
*look* like a thin 13 year old girl, but she could lift the
Mountaineer ATV they were riding in despite the size and
mass of the vehicle. She could also use her vibro-halberd to
slice and dice with great effect. Grape hadn't been awake
that long, but her programmed personality and its directives
(emphasizing her role as a Protector) were strong. Saturn
was strong enough to manifest to some degree, evidenced by
her clothing altering to her seifuku. The sound of Saturn
arguing with Grape was frequently heard as the young girl's
voice altered to fit whichever persona was speaking at the
time.

Apple had spent a small amount of time awake, but she had
apparently come to an agreement with Makoto Kino and Sailor
Jupiter. Somehow, and she wasn't sure how, the two others
were dormant within her. Apple was still a marionette
android, and was still Apple, and the other two would come
out when they were ready. The merger had been "forestalled"
as Apple would stay. The others would have liked to have
learned how to do this.

Blueberry aka Princess Mercury aka Ami Mizuno was asleep,
had been groggy and ready to fall over when they'd gotten
her to the ATV, and it was anyone's guess how she'd wake up.

Honey had vanished two hours after they'd left the ruin and
only Sif's presence had kept anyone from panicking. When
Honey had rejoined the group, she'd added another aspect to
her group. They currently weren't adding their own arguments
to Grape's muttering as Rica (Ree) Fukami was driving the
vehicle. Considering that there was no road and they were
going around sixty miles an hour, the "Glitter Boy" pilot
was left in the driver's seat in more than one sense.

---------

Jared got up off of the futon, slipping off the Synaptic
Teacher. Sakyo had downloaded all of Lorelei's technical
knowledge into a format which his superspy electronics had
been busily translating into a format he could use, and he'd
been looking for an opportunity to absorb it.

It convinced him of several things. One was how enormously
complicated a maiden circuit actually was (he rather
suspected the reason most failed to work was a call to
Yggdrasil's system for a living soul to inhabit an android
body was something Lorelei didn't have the religious
perspective to understand), and the other was a desperate
and growing need to understand MORE of this technology. Dr.
Lorelei, while smart, hadn't been the one to develop
marionettes to the level they were now. Also if he was to
be going that route (and having as many marionettes as he
did it was only polite and proper manners to know how to
maintain and fix them to a greater extent than he was
presently able) but if he was going this route it became an
item of concern to acquire most or all of Geltland's
technical advancements before the dissolution of the
country's central authority wiped them all away.

He could think of a dozen uses for their plasma technology
just offhand, and it would be handy in a dozen ways to have
technology an electrical storm of whatever intensity
wouldn't shut down. It became a mission priority to acquire
them at first possible opportunity.

He became aware of Soun sitting crosslegged next to his bed,
flanked by his three daughters. "Well?" The old man paused
to take a deep drag of his cigarette and then dramatically
snort smoke out of his nostrils. "You've had your after
dinner nap, I see. And you don't appear to be lightheaded or
confused at the moment." The elder Tendo leaned forward and
exhaled smoke next to Jared's face. "So which of my..."

The old man blinked in surprise to find that he was talking
to thin air, and Ranma was hanging out the window by his
toes, gagging from the cigarette smoke. One of the feet
released its hold to raise up a panda sign. [They don't
smoke, do they? Because if they do the deal's off.]

Soun looked down at the cigarette hanging out from his face.
Kasumi shook her head slightly while Nabiki held out an
ashtray. "Oh, father, father, father..." The Tendo patriarch
shrank in on himself a trifle to hear his eldest daughter's
slight rebuke.

Jared pulled himself back in the window, sitting near the
sill in an effort to stay clear of the lingering smoke.
~Once more into the breech.~ "Well..."

"Hang on," Akane said. "Ranma's right 'Daddy' - that *is* an
annoying, teeth staining, tumor causing, smelly, puking,
habit of yours. i don't mind dying, but lung cancer's a
pretty nasty way to go. So...
Sylph's wings beat a gentle breeze,
Cool and blow and lightly tease,
Influence foul from the air cleanse,
To help the health begin to mend."

"Clerical Magic?!" If Jared had been flabbergasted by Akane
being humble, repentant, and praising her sister's pluses
over her own, this had thrown him into downright
astonishment. White magic? Akane?!

The others noted that Akane's hands had briefly glowed, then
a cool breeze wafted through the house.

Soun sniffed, and recognized the scent of pine needles and
fresh tilled earth. It reminded him of his wife, and of
their honeymoon.

Kasumi closed her eyes as she noted the scent of lavender,
and of fresh baked bread. The air seemed purer and more
refreshing somehow, the scent of cigarettes banished without
a trace.

Nabiki stared at Akane, noting the cool wind that playfully
tugged at her clothing and ruffled her hair, carrying the
faint scent of sandalwood soap and the sound of children
playing.

All three native Tendos came out of the trance with a start.
"AKANE?! WHAT?!"

Akane shrugged. "Hey, i told you, didn't i? i'm going to
become a nun and devote myself to helping the poor and
repentant. In this way, i shall make up for the evil that i
have done."

Jared nodded. If AKANE were getting clerical spells, that
might indicate a profound religious experience - now that
she wasn't trying to kill herself to atone for it, she was
following a more proper path for such things.

Smiling, and wanting to do something in turn, the disguised
redhead crossed over to Akane and tugged open the front of
her gi, exposing her sports bra and the ugly wound caused by
Kuno's blade and given minimal attention in the days since
then. "I think I can do something about this." Ignoring that
if she could cast 'Cooling Breeze' she could cast 'Cure
Light Wounds', Jared laid his hand over the wound site.

Jared had a chi technique that would do, but instead relied
upon an ability gotten as a monk so as not to tax his
recovery. Jared also ignored Akane's startled look going
towards heavily annoyed. He closed his eyes and the hand
glowed softly for a few moments. When he removed it the
wound was gone, and he calmly turned his back and crossed
back to the window while she again shut the front of her gi.

Akane's efforts to straighten out her clothing were
interrupted by both her sisters leaning over and yanking it
open again, examining the smooth flesh of her ribs where the
wound had been, and not even a scar remained.

"Great," Akane muttered. "First Ranma, now my sisters. Are
we gonna sell tickets for *this* now- come grope Akane
before she can 'hie me to a nunnery'?"

Kasumi was blinking madly. Her little sister had been
lackadaisical at best about caring for her injury, and
*wouldn't* go to Dr. Tofu about it as she'd asked. Now it
was clean and unblemished flesh, a far cry from the
festering condition she'd been concerned about. Kasumi began
to look at Ranma and blinked prodigiously.

Nabiki was recalling in all the gory detail how that blade
had went into her sister's chest, and wasn't having any
peace of mind running her hands over where that ugly wound
had been. Neither her eyes nor her fingers were telling her
that ghastly hurt was there anymore, and she couldn't
believe it.

Nabiki grew VERY quiet and still as her sister finally
yanked her gi shut. A miracle, there was no other word for
it. She had witnessed a miracle take place in her own house.
Two if you count Akane's breeze. Nabiki drew a VERY deep
breath and shuddered from her head down to the tips of her
toes, drawing her knees up and hugging them as she glanced
sidelong at her kid sister and potential husband.

It was one thing to be held in low regard, another to be
insulted. The evident sincerity of their low opinion hurt
alot. But when both her sister and their house guest who'd
been holding those low opinions start performing miracles,
it was time to take a *serious* look at herself, and maybe
consider that it was time to change.

Soun had fallen over backwards when his soon to be future
son in law had started undressing his little girl. He now
sat up, having missed the point of the whole thing, and
coughed into his hand. "Congratulations, my boy. So it's to
be..."

"NO!!!!!" Both Akane and Ranma shouted simultaneously.

"I'm going to be a nun, dad." Akane reminded, pulling the
ties on her gi even tighter.

Ranma produced a certificate. "I'm a certified medical
doctor, with credentials in surgery and related fields. No,
I was in a strictly medical capacity when I did that, I
assure you. You'll find her wound amply taken care of."

Kasumi's eyes were attempting to use all of the landscape of
her face. "You're a doctor?" She asked softly.

"At sixteen?" Nabiki put in, more than a trifle stunned by
this as well.

~Slip up.~ Jared reminded himself.

"Well, he's all the better for Kasumi, then." Akane put in
gladly. "Just think, you want to go into medicine, don't you
sis? This'll be perfect. You can borrow his medical
reference library to study from and he can help you with
your training!"

"How did you get to be a doctor?" Kasumi asked,
unconsciously moving toward him.

He based his explanation as close to the truth as possible.
"Um, well, you see caring for injuries is your basic,
standard fare for adventurers, I mean wandering martial
artists. A study of natural things was a hobby of mine, then
there's a martial art that teaches atemi and shiatsu
attacks, and by the time you've mastered it you're as
familiar with nerves, blood flow and all that as any
surgeon. From there it wasn't a big deal to pick up a
license. You can skip most of the college courses by passing
yourself off as a foreign doctor seeking to certify here,
and just needing to brush up on a few things, which I did.
I'm more into herbs than your prescription drugs, because
herbs were more available and frankly have fewer side
effects, but I'm competent at least in most things."

Jared lowered his hand and touched a control on his waist,
causing the concealed superspy toys to go into secret motion
as he went on. "In fact, you can look me up, I'm certified
in the local board. I even have a patent on a new surgical
technique that's for dealing with restoring function to
paralyzation victims." On impulse he went a little
overboard. "There's a few international organizations
reviewing my cures for diabetes and senility, too. I'll let
you know how that goes."

Jaws had dropped universally to the floor, and Soun was
having visions of yen signs and a wealthy retirement rich
beyond his previous imaginings dance around his head.

Kasumi found herself fighting the urge to give a glomp,
whatever that was.

Nabiki was sorrowing that from now on he'd think she was
after his money, and found herself *more* interested in
proving that she was not and yet getting him anyway. The
difficulty of doing this surrounded her.

"So it's settled then." Akane beamed gladly. "He can support
Kasumi. She's just the sort of person he needs and vice
versa. They'll be perfect together, while I become a nun and
visit the sick and afflicted, removing what suffering I
can."

"It sounds like a good plan. Good luck, Akane." Jared began,
only to still himself as a dimensional tracer found its mark
and he could suddenly *feel* himself pinpointed by an
outside force. Whether it was friendly or an enemy,
however... His hand began to rove near Mara's PokeBall.

Soun noted that the decision was about to be put off again.
"RRRRAANNNNMMMAAAA!" The Demon Head began to form.

Jared gave him a level gaze, spreading his feet wide into an
appropriate stance while his fingers strayed near his
katana's hilt. "Mr. Tendo, if you use force to get your way
I shall use force to resist you. I consider this fair
warning. If you want my cooperation there are many tools
with which to get it, these include persuasion, logic,
reason, even kindness and love unfeigned. But force and
intimidation tactics will be met in a like manner. That is
only simple justice." He gave a grave and serious nod. "I
thank you for your hospitality, but..."

The youth blinked to find Soun wrapped around his waist,
bawling his eyes out and begging him to stay.

---------

"Trace Completed!" Celeste shouted, joyous in being able to
do this and clear up one of the dimensional messes going on.
Also, the fact that Jared's Belldandy and Urd companions
were hanging onto her seat's back in anxious concern was a
motivation. *Nobody* would ever want to disappoint Belldandy
in any way, no matter her guise, and the fact that Urd was
now newly reinstalled as a goddess second class, limited,
primary sphere Alchemy, had a little to do with it as well.
Nobody likes to sip a drink and wake up the next day an
entirely different race or gender. That Urd had retained her
side hobby and was now Mistress of the Harem as her
secondary sphere had a few unwed females scurrying for
cover.

"Knight Sabers! Go!!" Sylia Stingray informed her group, as
the dimensional access port opened to a size able to admit
them.

"Laser Angels, To The Hunt!!"

"Scout Planetary Teleport!"

"Raywing!"

"Lock & Load!"

"Thundercats, Ho!"

And a dozen other group phrases that led up to the largest
collection of highly trained (in violence, not in medicine)
nurses able to devastate planetary environs ever assembled
going off to the target timeline to "rescue" Jay-chan.

"First one to get his lips gets to cuddle him for the whole
night!" Yuri challenged the rest as the two Lovely Angels
skipped ahead of the rest.

=====
Toriohime (Bird Princess) is from an old series by the guy
who did "Gegege No Kitaro" - "Akumakun". "Anpanman" is from
the series of the same name. "Saint Tail" is another one of
those "Magical Princess" shows aimed at very young girls.

Next chapter, The Abduction of Jay-chan!
Will the real Ranma stand up!
And what do you with a drunken Ami?

===========

Third Labor, chapter 8

The abduction of Jay-chan? Oh my, the naughty nurses!
or... ersatz Senshi & the Red Rider

DISCLAIMER: If not satisfied with this fanfic, contact your
ISP provider for a full refund.

---------

Akane looked up towards the ceiling with a worried
expression. "There's something... hang on."

Everyone stared with various thoughts running through their
heads as Akane pulled out a small cross on a chain and held
it over the table.
"Spirits of goodness and of light,
Lend to me thy distant sight,
A vision of the coming fight,
So i know which course is right..."

"And what was that supposed to... do... Akane?!" Nabiki had
tried to rally that little cynical portion of her persona.
As flickering patterns of light formed around the cross,
that skeptical fragment dragged itself off to a corner of
her mind and shot itself.

Akane seemed to go into a trance. "A heavenly host currently
searches for their brave hero. i see implements of torture
readied. And they come seeking..."

No one was surprised when Akane's gaze fixed on Ranma. "A
kami disguised."

Jared freaked, though not obviously to anyone watching. The
nursing staff had apparently found him and were about to do
all sorts of things to his poor injured body.

"Kami... disguised?" Soun repeated disbelievingly.

A little distressed that his stay had been cut short, Jared
shrugged. He'd have to leave soon if this was any
indication. "I'm afraid I've allowed your preconceptions to
remain without disputing them. I'm what you would call a
kami, here disguised by an 'ally' as Ranma so I'd have a
chance to heal. The *real* Ranma should be here in one
week's time."

Light sparkled in the back yard, forming a line which began
to part open.

"I don't have much time. The allies that seek me, well,
there's danger if they accompany me." (Danger to my health
and well being. Good intentions are, alas, not enough.)

"That's Staging Area Four, Asgard," Akane said in disbelief,
seeing the shapes in the background of the throng. "That
means..."

Jared had gotten a few items from the Rival Relief Office
during a brief visit. He'd mainly been intrigued. The RRO
tended to be low-powered individuals who scavenged for
resources on their missions to different universes. They
brought a number of items back to be analyzed and used in
future missions. Hoi Hoi Cappsules and Pokeballs were among
those items that were absolutely safe for the user.
Elemental bracers had proven to be less safe, and there were
other items that likewise were either unsafe (but kept
around in case someone could fix them) or just plain
unresearched.

Rather than take a chance with Mara again, Jared held up a
device that looked like a cube of clear jello. The Galaxy
Police Cube was an invocation of Clarke's Law: "any
technology sufficiently advanced enough is indistinguishable
from magic." The problem was that controlling the device was
darn near impossible. Potentially, though, it was of extreme
value to the Mage and why he had added it to his list of
"things to research when I get a free decade" (a truly huge
file). Theoretically, it had the ability to sort and manage
"stuffspace" to such a degree that one could darn near hide
a Galaxy class starship up one's sleeves with the device's
help.

Also instantly changing clothes and doing other impossible
things without magic. VERY useful if, as now, one's magical
resources had been cut off. One minor such feat was
teleportation. Jared abruptly vanished.

Nabiki squeaked when she saw HERSELF (twice!) in the
Heavenly Throng materializing in their backyard.

"Where is Jay-chan?!" A ponytailed girl floating in midair
asked. "His ki is so low I can't read it!"

"Scanning," said a girl with short blue hair, "I have a
trace!"

"TALLY HO!"

"WAIT! WAIT! WAIT!" Akane started jumping up and down,
waving her arms as the crowd flew over her head. "Take me!
Please! I'm "

**CLANG**

Kasumi lowered the skillet, now knowing that Akane was
trying to die for a reason. Something to do with the crowd
of divine (?) beings flying over the house. Well, Akane
would just have to wait. "Nabiki, can you give me a hand
dragging Akane back into the house? Nabiki?"

Nabiki was still staring out into the yard, though there was
nothing there currently.

"Father, can you..." Kasumi looked at the crumpled heap of
her father and sighed. Grabbing Akane's legs, she dragged
her little sister back into the house.

*WHACK!*

"Akk!" Akane woke up as her head bashed into the stone first
step. "Huh?"

*THUD!*

"Hey!" Akane said weakly, feeling her head impact the second
step.

*CRACK!* Door tracks. "No not the... " *WHAP! WHAP! WHAP!
WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! WHAP!* "...stairs.
Ittei!" *THUNK!*

Kasumi finished putting Akane to bed, wondering where all
these extra bumps and bruises had come from. Then got a
sponge to clean her younger sister off before dressing her.

----------

RIFTS Earth:

"Bringing up file," Rei said. She'd been inside Grey's mind,
so of course she had an idea what password to use. They were
a bit curious about their destination.

[Timeline RF-NX 100101][Mission 12 Notes][Jabberworks] a
hidden company set up by a group of adventurers who frankly
had trouble finding anyone local who qualified as "the good
guys" and so came up with their own company based on two
major finds. One, the pandimensional entity known as the
'Jabberwok' - a non-evil alien intelligence so alien that
they haven't found a means of communicating. The second, a
military base in Alaska that had survived the coming of the
Rifts but not the cutting off of supplies.
The Jabberwok uses a form of 'quantum origami' - things
near it tend to be folded along their probability lines. A
laser cannon might be folded into an old machinegun or some
other type of item, but it will always bear some resemblence
to whatever it originally was. Was not capable of getting
close enough to use a Universal Translator.
The military base was mainly a listening station.
Nothing fancy from the few reports, though that may be just
commonsense "nothing here worth looking for" and as the
mission didn't go up there, also nothing confirmed.
Jabberworks is mainly concerned with trade, using large
hover platforms or cargolifters to reach small communities.
They supply a number of one-of-a-kind items, which helps to
field test those items and determine if they are suitable
for reproducing and manufacturing.
This is their publically known emphasis. They have ties
to the Colorado Baronies, including a trading post in Hope.
It became obvious during the completion of the mission that
the organization lacks the raw power necessary to fight the
Coalition, the Federation of Magic, or any of the Big Bads
in a straight up. But their longterm goals are pretty much
diametrically opposed to said bad guys.
Further data unavailable. i request investigation as
soon as possible. If initial impressions bear out, these are
definitely candidates for whatever Divine Intervention can
be given them.
ADDENDUM: Additional presence/base in the old town of
Quartzite near what used to be the California/Arizona border
in that area.

"So what do you make of it?" Apple requested of her
colleagues.

Ree Fukami didn't look up from where she was driving. "I've
lined with Jabberworks. Guard dog positions and convoy
stuff. Bought stuff from 'em too. Heck, they've gotten me
spare parts for my Glitter Boy. Mainly, they're operators
and engineers, or like the report says - traders. Ya watch
out for 'em on lotsa stuff- the trade items are usually a
lotta crap or marked up hefty. Damn good fixers though, and
usually they don't charge that much compared to some of the
mech-heads out there. They put out a lot of basic type
vehicles. ATVs, some cycles, also camping equipment and
other basic supplies. They's considered small potatoes,
indeps, not important enough to warrant the Dead Boys goin'
outta their way for a stomping."

Apple blinked as she processed that. Rei tried to work out
the strange dialect.

Ree's voice altered to the flatter tones of Honey. "She
means that by maintaining a low profile, the Coalition and
other potential hostiles view them as not being worth the
value of the bullets required to kill them."

"So we're heading to Quartzite because..." Rei let her voice
trail off.

Apple answered. "Because Grey's native self is there. Do we
have any data other than Fleece's reference?"

"Yup," answered Ree, back to the odd twang she had when it
wasn't Honey or Minako speaking. "Look for a True Atlantean
Techno-Wizard who goes by the name Rimshot. Met him a couple
of times. Runs around with a Utility Belt and handful of
gadgets. We made a pretty good team as caravan guards. I'd
blast the big targets, he'd use his Porta-Wall or some other
gadget to give my powerarmor some advantage."

"What's a Techno-Wizard anyway? I find no record in my
memories." Apple asked of Ree, since she seemed to have most
of the answers.

"A type of wizard who incorporates spells into gadgets," Ree
said, driving around a few boulders and a fleeing cactus.
She hadn't known there were cactuar in the area. Too bad
they were in a hurry. The animal/plant critters were about
half the size of a cactus people and threw dozens of sharp
needles in a fight. But you could gather those needles up
and use them for a variety of purposes. Put a few hundred
together in a boom gun casing and it made a nice
anti-vampire round. "Rimshot's got a gun enchanted to throw
lightning bolts and fireballs, though I hear he mainly uses
a Wilk's 457 pulse laser nowadays. Goblin bombs, oh, and his
armor's got stealth and escape enchantments. Last I heard,
Rimshot was working on a way to put a TW enhancement on a
normal tech weapon like a Boom Gun. Think mainly he came up
with the idea after his helmet got damaged in that last run
and his hearing got a bit battered from being too close to a
shot."

"Too close?" Rei wasn't sure what that meant but it didn't
sound good.

"That powerarmor back there's called a 'Glitter Boy' and it
was passed down to me from my Uncle. Been in my family three
generations, at least! That big gun is the 'Boom Gun' and it
gets that name from causing a sonic boom when it's fired.
Does a *lot* of damage. Heck, one good hit'll cripple most
anything the Coalition put out. *If* you can hit 'em, that
is."

"So when do we get to Quartzite?" Apple was anxious to meet
this local version of her Master.

"About three more hours. There's lotsa holes and washes and
mountains we gotta go around. Ya don't wanna go near the old
freeway. Sure mainly it's a flat ribbon, even got bits of
the old road surface, but there's a dragon out near the
White Tank mountains and some real unfriendly types if you
go up towards Wormrot. So ya gotta go between. We can stop
at a small settlement called Nameless in between, stretch
our legs and get some java. Or oil if that's you're
preference."

-----------

The vehicle was nothing special as it pulled into Quartzite.
ATVs of various types, only marginally different from each
other, had been around for over twenty years. They weren't
fancy to begin with: just a minor vehicle tough enough to
withstand a few shots of laser fire and an electric or
gasoline engine.

ATV pickup trucks were *very* common in the New West for a
simple reason. They were tough, dependable, and very
utilitarian. It didn't matter if the owner worked on a
ranch, worked construction, was a merc, or a blacksmith, or
a vet. A basic cabin with a cargo area at a low price
appealed to the masses who didn't have the money or
inclination for fancy.

Jabberworks had four basic models and a number of
attachments and upgrades that the buyer could get installed
or install themselves later.

That this one was painted in a camouflage pattern of muted
browns and greys was also pretty typical. A few ranchers and
the like used bright colors, but there were a lot of things
out in the desert whose attention you were better off
avoiding.

A small dragon wearily lifted his head, sniffed the air,
then snorted and went back to his afternoon siesta.

A thin middle-aged man got out of the truck after stopping
in front of the general store. "Suzi, you stay here and keep
an eye on the truck."

"Nope," Suzi disagreed, getting out herself. "After roughing
it for the past three days? I'm going to get some soap and
some hot water and clean up."

The man shook his head as if he knew arguing would be
futile. "Fine. I'll see if there's any signs or portents
while you do."

"Do that." The woman shifted her long hair about and turned
an eye towards the horizon. "I'll tell you right now that
they'll be here in a few hours. Not before. And there's
something... oddly familiar about them."

Not for the first time, Rimshot found himself wishing he had
some clairvoyant talents like Suzi did. "Okay. Then we'll
meet them in a few hours, I guess."

"You won't need the rifle," Suzi said, concerning herself
with more important things. Like removing the layer of dust
that had accumulated on her.

------------

Akane groaned and stirred herself. Her head hurt. Sitting
up, she noticed that she was in her bedroom, that there was
an odd scent in the air and that she was wearing...

Akane kept from screaming but it was a very near thing.
Transparent, pink, soft, silky. Very very feminine. And
little pink lace panties. Akane didn't RIP the clothing off,
but it was also a very near thing. And then stood staring at
the garments as if they would get up and attack her.

Sniffing, she also determined that the odd scent was a
perfume or something similar and it was coming off of HER.
Someone had given her a sponge bath, brushed her hair,
and...

Akane was about to become ill. Someone had played dress up
with her while she was unconscious. Maybe she should sneak
off and go join that nunnery NOW. Soun Tendo said that she
was still too young to do this without parental consent, but
did she really want to believe anyone who had trained under
Happosai? All this needed to be truly something out of a
nightmare was for Kuno or someone to show up.

There was a polite knock an instant before Kasumi stuck her
head in. "Akane! Breakfast is ready!"

Akane winced, and not just from the still present headache.
If she'd been out of it that long then "Ranma" (whoever he'd
been really) would have already left *with* all those girls.

Kasumi watched her sister for a moment. "Oh, and Akane, I've
made an appointment for you to see a doctor today. You
haven't been looking well at all of late."

"Gee, i wonder why..." Akane mumbled.

Kasumi paused for a moment before adding. "Oh, and you might
want to put some clothes on."

The physically youngest Tendo spent a moment glaring at the
door before giving a long sigh. She'd just have to put on
the gi or those slacks and she'd be able to face them.

Akane went to the closet and frowned. "What the?!" No gi, no
pants, no t-shirts or anything of the sort. The only thing
that had anything approaching pants was a pink jumper (she
thought that was what it was called) that would eventually
be given to Ranma in the series.

It still felt *wrong* to be wearing feminine clothing. Yes,
that especially included underwear. Grey had been female on
four or five occasions (shudder) and had not once felt
comfortable doing it. Ranko and Banana had been special
exceptions, as it hadn't really been him - more like an
analogue - a seperate aspect of the same soul.

Serious creep factor in several respects to find that your
"elder sister" had taken an active role in taking care of
you. And had been rearranging your room. The frilly sheets,
stuffed animals, and... what in the worlds was Kasumi
thinking?!

Another knock on the door, and Nabiki opened it this time.
"C'mon, Akane, you can't sit up here all day. Dear me,
aren't you ever going to get dressed?"

"But i..." Akane pointed at the clothing on the rack.
"Where's my gi?"

Nabiki sighed, went to the dresser, pulled out a bra and
panty, then rummaged around in the closet. "HERE! Just get
dressed young lady."

"W-w-what?!" Akane stared at the clothing. THAT wasn't
something that she thought she could wear. *Especially* in
public.

"You haven't taken any religious vows yet," Nabiki gently
chided, inwardly smirking at the vengeance she was getting
on her younger sister. Then thought about seeing herself in
that Heavenly Host and lost enthusiasm for getting even.
"Look, Akane, Kasumi's been talking to Dr Tofu and a few
other people about how you were acting and she came up with
this as a measure. You'll go see the doctor later and
that'll be your chance to get this little agenda thrown
out."

"Why did she..." Akane's eyes fell on the stuffed panda and
she repressed another shudder.

"She got the idea that the whole thing with school and
everything was that you were forced into a dominantly
masculine role," Nabiki said, watching as her little sister
put the panties on backwards then corrected herself.
Privately she thought Kasumi *might* have something here
after all. "Anyway, so she's got this idea that your
feminine inner nature being suppressed by this forced
masculine outer nature is causing your current problems."

Akane muttered under her breath about not having any
feminine inner nature.

Nabiki raised an eyebrow but otherwise gave no indication
she'd heard. "So, Kasumi and Daddy came up with this idea of
reinforcing basic feminine behavior. You ought to wear that
more often, it looks good on you."

"No defensive value, thin fabric, barely covers anything..."
Akane mumbled. A yellow dress of some thin material whose
skirt barely covered mid-thigh.

"C'mon, sis..." Nabiki stopped. Her sister's face had always
conveyed what she was feeling quite well. It passed through
disgust and embarrasment to just plain "someone please kill
me." Nabiki cleared her throat. "Well, Akane, let's go. If
nothing else just think of how this'll..."

"Nabiki," interrupted Akane, "if you say anything at all
involving boys finding this sort of thing attractive, i will
be violently ill. All over you."

Nabiki shut her mouth with an audible click. "Oh well, so
much for that."

Akane's head came up and she glanced at the calender. March
3rd. She had a couple of letters to write.

Downstairs, Soun frowned and glanced at his oldest daughter.
"Are you sure about this Kasumi? Akane is the heir to the
Tendo school, and in that fight her skills were..."

Kasumi nodded. "I'm sure, Father. I don't really know about
this agreement with Saotome-san. But I'm sure if Akane meets
a nice boy, and has love and children in her life, she'll
have enough to live for that she'll forget all about these
suicide attempts."

Soun nodded. He still had two other daughters that could
fulfill the union. And neither Kasumi nor Nabiki had been
quite so negative after that disguised kami. "So what do you
expect Doctor Tofu to be able to do?"

"Check for a head injury, maybe something else. Possibly he
can come up with a better specialist in these sort of
problems." Kasumi looked up as Nabiki came down.

"Problem, sis," Nabiki continued to frown in thought. "This
is stressing little sister out more than it was."

"We'll see what Doctor Tofu can do..." Kasumi's voice
trailed off as a sulking Akane came down the stairs.
Apparently she had *not* brushed her hair or anything. Still
no makeup. Kasumi decided she'd have to do something about
that. Yes, Akane did need to find a nice boy and settle
down. Love could heal all wounds, and having children would
certainly settle any doubts Akane might be having about her
own femininity.

Kasumi continued to plan. If Akane had been able to read
minds, she'd have been halfway to China at this point.

As it was, Akane was just planning on raiding Nabiki's
closet. Turnabout was fair play, after all.

----------

Meanwhile, a mage named Jared was discovering one of the
Laws Of Anime Universes.

Which was: you can run, you can hide, but these are only
temporary solutions.

If someone is looking for you, and you don't want them to
find you, they will.

Jared, realizing he was cornered, pulled the PokeBall
containing Mara from his pocket. "Mara. I need an escape
route."

The demoness smiled. "But, of course, darling."

----------

Elsewhere:

Ginseng, the third of a series of marionettes built using
human engrams, groaned and got up.
*Diagnostic. All systems functioning within designated
parameters.*

Gennai and the others watched the marionette get up off the
table and examine herself.

"i take it that you were able to recover enough of me that
you were able to rebuild me?" Ginseng finished inspecting
herself. "And that a male style body housing was
unavailable."

Gennai cleared his throat. "Something like that."

Ginseng nodded. "A female configuration. Well, it doesn't
matter too much i suppose. At least as a female-seeming
android i avoid some of the..."

Gennai and the others followed Ginseng's stare to a monitor,
then back. After a few minutes, they began to grow
uncomfortable.

Finally Doctor Lorelei broke the silence. "Is something
wrong, Ginseng?"

"Who came up with this overall shape?" There was a spark of
emotion in Ginseng's voice. Not a good one either.

"It was... one we had that was a spare with enough processor
capacity for..." Lorelei broke off at the glare from
Ginseng.

Ginseng clenched her fists and trembled briefly with her
eyes closed and a snarl on her face. When she finally opened
her eyes again, she seemed a little more composed. Slightly.
Gennai didn't feel the need to trigger a laser cage at
least.

"i suppose you couldn't have known. It's just... do you mind
if i use the processing facilities? i don't want to spend
one more moment looking like HER than i can avoid it."

"Uhm..." Lorelei looked around and others silently agreed
that this sounded bad. There was obviously something
horribly wrong with Ginseng's new body that wasn't apparent
to anyone besides Ginseng. "There's a problem with that..."

Birds were startled into flight over Castle Japonesse by a
shrieked "WHAT?!?!"

---------

Doctor Tofu closed the door behind him and spoke to Nabiki.
Kasumi had lost a great deal of respect for Doctor Tofu when
she'd brought Akane into the office. The good doctor had
been okay while examining her little sister, and had then
called Kasumi into the room to consult with her about his
findings.

Akane had screeched and yelped and had fled through the
window. Without opening it. And had then apparently spent
considerable time untangling her limbs and trying to pop
joints back into place. Nabiki had found Akane in Nabiki's
closet, replacing the clothes she'd left behind.

It had taken a few moments for Doctor Tofu to even notice
that his patient had fled.

Yes, Kasumi had lost a *lot* of respect for Doctor Tofu.

"So what is it, Doctor? Why is Akane acting like this?"
Nabiki crossed her arms and considered him briefly.

"I've never seen a woman's chi so far out of alignment. It's
a *very* male pattern. It's also much stronger than I would
have thought possible for Akane. What has been going on that
she's changed so much? Oh... YOUR pattern has changed too,
Nabiki. You seem more thoughtful, but underneath you're
seething as if you are confused about something." Tofu
straightened his glasses.

Nabiki frowned and began telling Tofu about what she had
observed. Kuno's challenge, Akane's stress, the horde of
hentai boys, a particularly bad day where Akane had taken
some decongestants (a pepper bomb from the school's Chem
Club had aggravated allergies) and gone to sit in the furo.
SOMETHING had happened, and Akane had been trying to kill
herself until Kasumi caused her to promise that she
wouldn't. Then she briefly went around trying to get someone
ELSE to kill her. Kasumi had put a stop to that too,
requiring Akane's promise in return for letting Akane out of
a makeover session planned for late afternoon. Kasumi had
merely rescheduled it, but no one was going to mention that
to Akane at the moment.

Doctor Tofu nodded. "Did you notice that Akane was using the
masculine forms when speaking?"

Nabiki nodded. She'd noticed that. AND would occasionally
break out in the Osaka dialect. And the way she sat, walked,
and ran were all masculine.

"It looks as though the trauma experienced at school was
sufficient to cause her to 'shift' in personality. She was
always a tomboy, and she was mistaken for a boy on occasion
when she was growing up, so maybe she decided that the
remembered male identity was a 'safe haven' from her current
problems." Tofu straightened his glasses again. "She's also
uncomfortable with her femininity. Any questions impinging
on that, or when I examined the shiatsu points around her
thighs or breasts, made her extremely uncomfortable. Even
more so than the last time she came in for an exam."

"Yeah, but that was almost a year ago," Nabiki pointed out
but nodded. This was pretty much what she and Kasumi had
come up with. "So what can we do?"

"Reinforce her feminine self image whenever possible. Let
her know that she's loved." Tofu thought for a few moments,
then began writing on a piece of paper. "It's possible that
Akane will come out of this on her own, but... There's a
couple of doctors to try. One's a physician, the other a
psychologist. If there's an organic cause I couldn't find,
the physician should be able to determine it. The
psychologist is in case there is no physical cause."

Nabiki nodded and took the paper. It would dent the family's
finances, but things couldn't continue as they were. "Thank
you Doctor. This will do."

Elsewhere, Akane had tried once again to call the office.
Once again, none of the numbers that Grey knew worked.

---------

Quartzite: RIFTS Earth

Rei looked up at the remote feed monitor. "What's Setsuna
doing here?"

Ree frowned, pulling the ATV to a stop. "That's not yer
Setsuna. That's the local equivelant, just as I'm the local
of yer Minako."

"You sure? Setsuna has some odd habit of showing up
unexpectedly." Rei remembered that, it had been most
annoying.

"How often did your version show up wearing Urban Warrior
body armor and carrying a staff that's *gotta* be magic?"

"What makes you think it's magic?" Rei glanced between the
monitor and Ree.

"Is the Pope Jewish? Of course, it's magic! Rimshot would
have given it a basic TW enchantment if he's hanging around
with her..." Ree frowned, not entirely sure where the sudden
bite of jealousy came from.

Blueberry/Ami/Mercury mumbled something in her (their?)
sleep from the back seat.

"Uhm... THAT's Master? He's... older." Hotaru frowned.
Mamoru Tengoku had been in his teens. Rimshot was in his 40s
or so.

"Oh dear." Apple increased the resolution and saw that this
was so.

A few hundred yards away, two people watched the ATV and
wondered why it had stopped, and what the occupants were
doing.

--------

"Nabiki-CHAN!"

Nabiki winced as Akane leapt over a wall, landing gracefully
beside her. Akane was wearing the red and white hakima that
indicated she was in "shrine priestess" mode. "Uhm, what is
it, Akane?"

"Nabiki, i'm *so* proud of you!" Akane beamed at her sister.
"You've cut back on the blackmail, the larceny, the
shameless taking advantage of any opportunity for a profit!
BLESS YOU!"

~I have?!~ Nabiki blinked with a squeegee noise, finding
herself the recipient of a sudden affectionate hug. ~When
did I do that?!~

"Sis, i've spent so much time worrying about you, wondering
if you'd ever purge the darkness corrupting your soul. Your
heart had gotten so cold..."

Nabiki stared at Akane when her little sister broke away and
wiped *tears* off her face. "Uhm... Akane... I..."

Akane smiled joyfully at Nabiki, tears still brimming from
her eyes. ~Dang it, emotional control is so difficult for
this body. Is it because this is a *normal* (relatively)
human girl?~ "Nabiki, i've been worried about you for so
long. Don't give up! You can do it!"

"Errrr..." Nabiki found herself blushing but a thought
penetrated her confusion. She hadn't seen Akane this upbeat
about anything in... quite some time. ~I haven't changed.
Have I?~

"Sis, I want you to have this," Akane reached into one of
her sleeves and withdrew a bag.

Nabiki took it, puzzled, opened it, and STARED. "Akane,
where did you get this?! There must be a couple of thousand
yen in here!"

"Spoils of war," said Akane with a bittersweet smile.
"There's 15000 yen, a Rolex, three switchblades, two diamond
rings, and a Nomo autographed baseball. i figured you'd be
able to get a better deal than me for them. If you want, i
can show you tonight, but you *have* to promise me not to
tell 'Daddy' - he'd freak just on general principles."

"Sure, Akane," said Nabiki, crossing her fingers behind her
back. ~If Akane's stealing stuff, this has to be stopped
NOW!~

---------

Nabiki had been a little concerned when her little sister
had knocked on her window at 7pm.

She had become a little *more* concerned when said little
sister had turned out to be wearing an outfit that was...
well.

Akane had started out with a blue one-piece swimsuit, and
had added a red skirt and red hi-top tennis shoes. Also red
gloves with a layer of padding over the knuckles. A red pair
of shoulder pads, red mask, and red ribbon in her hair
completed Akane's new look.

Nabiki was speechless, as one might well imagine, by this
sight. Akane simply grabbed Nabiki, put a gold harlequin
mask in her hands, and started leaping from rooftop to
rooftop at a rate of speed that made Nabiki wish she'd
grabbed a Dramamine.

Nabiki had quite lost track of where they were when Akane
abruptly slowed and the surroundings became less of a blur.
"Akane what are..." Nabiki found a hand covering her mouth
as she was set onto her feet once again.

"Shhhh," cautioned Akane and pointed below them.

Nabiki kept quiet and casually looked over the edge of the
roof, feeling a bit queasy when she noticed how far below
the ground was.

There was a group of local thugs, shaking down some girl
who'd obviously gotten lost. Nabiki frowned, then turned to
Akane to ask what exactly was going on. Nabiki blinked and
felt goosebumps form as she realized that her crazy little
sister was muttering under her breath and tracing glowing
lines in the air.

Akane finished whatever she was doing, smiled at her sister,
then stepped off the edge of the roof.

Nabiki looked down to see if what she feared was happening.

The thug adjusted his shades (despite that it was early
evening) and stepped forward. "Aw c'mon little girl, don't
you want to party with us?"

"I'll give you my money, just let me go!" The girl backed up
slightly, looking thoroughly out of place.

The thug smiled and shrugged. "Well, you'll give us the
money, FOR STARTS..."

*BOOM*

Something landed in the alleyway, proving to be a girl in a
very silly costume.

"Where bandits threaten, i'm there to take 'em down. When
evil wakens, my duty is to fight to it! Presenting the high
school babe! Sabre Mars! In the name of Justice, i'll punish
you!" Akane posed in sentai fashion.

"huh?!" Not only the thugs were sweatdropping, their victim
was a bit embarassed by all this too.

The first thug started walking towards the newcomer,
flipping a knife open in his hand. "Look, little girl, if
you want to play dress-up..."

"HURRICANE KICK!" *WHACKUM!* Akane's kick managed to imbed
the thug in the wall. Of the second floor. He hung there for
a moment before landing in a dumpster.

"She-she... She flattened Jigo!"

"LET'S GET HER!"

Akane seemed to become a red and blue blur.
"A-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-TA! Wah-TAH!"

"Hah! Didn't even hurt!"

"Secret Amazon Technique: Poisoned chestnuts!" Akane held up
a long needle which had been concealed in her hand.

"Huh?!" *THUD* *THUD* *THUD* *THUD* *THUD* *THUD*

"Who? What?" The victim was staring around at a lot of
snoozing thugs.

"Sorry ma'am. It's just me and my sidekick, Mercenary Girl,"
Akane jerked a thumb towards the roof, "making the streets
safe for decent folk."

The girl blinked a couple of times, then fainted.

"Chikusho!" Akane looked at the crumpled heap. "They keep
doing that. Oh well."

In the manner of experienced RPGers everywhere, Akane
quickly stripped the bandits of everything valuable, carried
the victim to a safe haven, and returned to the rooftop.

Nabiki's expression was unreadable as 'Sabre Mars' rejoined
her. "Is this how you got that money?"

"Yes," Akane posed. "Criminals don't deserve to profit from
their evil!"

*SLAP!*

Akane looked startled.

Nabiki's eyes watered, both from her hand getting hurt and
from reaction. "You... STUPID!"

"What? What's wrong, Nabiki?" Akane was puzzled by this,
having expected Nabiki to be wildly enthusiastic about this.

"How could you?" Nabiki bit off saying something and tried
again. "Don't you know how dangerous this is? What if they
had a gun? What if you were hurt? What if..."

Akane blinked, finding her arms full of crying Nabiki and
completely unsure of how to handle this. She settled for
just holding her "sister" and murmurring encouraging sounds,
getting Nabiki to sit down after a minutes.

Eventually Nabiki got control of herself. Akane offered her
a bandana which Nabiki blew her nose with. Akane politely
indicated that Nabiki should hold on to it for now.

"...Akane..." Nabiki continued to hold onto her sister. "We
don't need the money *that* badly. Please don't go..."

Akane sighed and patted her sister on the back, and
reflected that it was a good thing that she was her sister
and not a guy in this situation. "Nabiki, we cannot always
choose how we live or how we die. We are part of a society
as a whole and to some extent the currents of that ocean of
humanity force us into roles we don't choose. You *can*
fight the current and try to go in a different direction -
though it's harder to fight the current and some do try and
fail."

"...but I don't want to lose my sister..." Nabiki sniffled.

Ignoring that her own hair was toinging and that she wanted
to know WHY Nabiki had changed so much from the "profit uber
alles" girl she HAD been, Akane continued to pat Nabiki's
back. "Nabiki. i can't promise that i'll always be there for
you. But i'm here for you now. Will you be here for me?"

Nabiki nodded and wiped tears even as she reached for the
bag. If her sister was going to do something so foolish and
irresponsible, at least SHE could make sure the money wasn't
wasted. THEN she'd do her best to talk little sister out of
this insane hobby!

Mercenary Girl stared at the loot. Well, maybe a hiatus at
least.

---------

RIFTS Earth:

The image of Fleece clicked and faded in and out like a
cheap hologram.

Appropriate as that was what it was.

Apple asked the same question again, hoping for a better
answer. "So why didn't he merge with Rimshot here?"

"I don't know," repeated Fleece. "Right now there's a lot of
system problems that the techies are sorting through. It
looks as though his aspects are fragmenting and he's been
merged with a non-Analogue aspect. Other than that we can't
tell the why or where." Fleece smirked. "There's plenty of
bets and speculation for now."

"Can we go there?" Grape shifted her vibrohalberd around.
How could she protect him if he was in a different universe?

Fleece shook her head. "Nah, transport's screwed up. Divines
are OK, we've got our primary methods. While the databases
and links are being rebuilt, everything else is subject to
crossrips and bounces."

"Like it hasn't always been," grumbled Rei.

"Hmmmph. Before you ask, I can't do it either," Rimshot
informed them. "Transdimensional spells are tricky and not
something Techno-Wizards usually work with. However, Suzi
here had an idea."

The native version of Setsuna nodded. "I come from a place
far from here known as Psyscape. If we were to go there, we
could utilize their resources and perhaps get to where your
version of Rimshot is."

"Or you could simply wait. In a few days things should be
stabilized enough that you can be relocated," Fleece pointed
out. "In any case, I'll contact you again if anything comes
up!"

Rimshot frowned. He wasn't sure about this gestalt thing.
"We may have a problem with getting to Psyscape. With the
Coalition's war with Tolkeen, going anywhere near the
Federation of Magic is going to be tres difficult."

Ree tapped the table with a nail, thinking for a few more
moments. "There's another possibility."

---------

Akumakun/Ranma timeline:

The Big Day had arrived.

True to the kami's word, they had received a postcard from
Genma stating that he would be in town with Ranma on a
certain day. That the mail had delayed this delivery until
the time they were supposed to be there was no surprise to
anyone, given the delays in the typical mail system.

Tendo,
Arriving in Nerima. Bringing Ranma.
Saotome.

Kasumi was staring sorrowfully at the little white notebook
she held in her hand while the kitchen burbled and bubbled
with the sound of a meal being prepared. To her, the list on
the lined page had grown distressingly long. ~Let's see, by
now I've promised to join her if she kills herself, shave my
hair if she does...~ That last was worth a whimper, because
she was worried that her sister might press it and she
didn't like that thought at all! ~And go on a Lady Godiva
ride in protest if Akane didn't dress properly and wear
feminine clothes.~

Kasumi's mind tried to freeze shut on that last thought. She
hadn't known what else to *do*, Akane was being so
obstinate! She honestly didn't believe that she'd go through
with it, but the threat had to appear real. It was Kasumi's
distress over this, though she didn't know it, that had
actually convinced Akane to take it somewhat seriously.

Lying didn't come naturally to Kasumi. It was worth some
distress.

Kasumi had threatened a hunger strike until Akane had agreed
not to deliberately set things up so that someone else would
kill her. Kasumi had also promised that she wouldn't require
Akane to eat sashimi in return for Akane seeing that nice
doctor. The appointment had gone smoothly, blood tests had
been taken, the doctor had asked a lot of questions, and
tomorrow she and Akane would go back to the doctor. THEN she
could find out if the Doctor's plans for treatment would
work. Though how to get Akane to take the pills, Kasumi
wanted to shrink in horror at what she might have to
threaten to get Akane to keep with the treatment.

Her father poked his head in the kitchen. "Kasumi, it's
time?"

The eldest daughter looked up from her meditations. "Oh?
I'll have to turn the heat down, I suppose. Do you know if
I'll have time to change?"

Soun nodded, disappearing.

Kasumi sucked in her lower lip. If she just rushed she could
get this meal ready and then leave it on to warm, then rush
up for a quick change to something formal!

Nabiki was closeted in her room, facing a big problem.

The big problem was her hobby, her pet project, something
she'd spent years in steadily building. A reputation as a
cold ice queen does not come without sacrifices, and the
image of someone to fear and tremble before (so that people
are prompt in paying their money) was carefully cultivated
and very fragile. Her business was at stake.

But somehow she couldn't even *imagine* one of her Heavenly
Selves doing this.

It was a fairly simple case: She had a student by the balls.
He owed her money, and was plainly and simply delinquent. It
was a simple case of tell his girlfriend what he didn't want
her to know, wait for the pain of that to set in, and then
threaten the next stage if he didn't pay up.
Open and shut, something she'd done often enough to *gain*
the Ice Queen iron mercenary reputation and by not doing
she'd begin to lose both, get the image of being a softy.
>From there it was straight out of business for her.

The thought of being called an iron mercenary twisted her
guts after the things her younger sister and that kami had
said and believed of her, but it was true. You either had
that rep or you didn't get on in this line of work. It
merely stank that people close to her, that she actually
*cared* about, had believed it. Especially to THAT extent.

To Nabiki it had always been something of a mask, something
she put on or took off as she pleased. A game where she was
in complete control of all the players.

Having that mask *taken* for her was still worth the
shudders.

Then there was her sister's active nightstyle. Nabiki had
reasoned and begged and pleaded, and Akane had agreed to
shelve 'Sabre Mars' for awhile. Not permanently.

There were other possibilities that Akane was trying to feel
Nabiki out on. Akane had explained that she would *not*
charge for her miracles. If Nabiki were to arrange something
that helped pay the bills, that would be Nabiki's
assistance. Or, Nabiki winced, as Sabre Mars' sidekick
Mercenary Girl (the name would *have* to be changed) they
could make quite a bit of money, but at a higher danger
level.

Nabiki continued to stew and ponder, her thoughts continuing
in a loop.

Soun knocked and poked his head in the room. "Nabiki, this
is the day Ranma is to arrive."

His middle daughter looked up from her work, brushing a
strand of hair out from her eyes. "Alright daddy. I'll be
ready. Have you told Akane yet?"

Soun winced. "I was, uh... waiting. Until, you know..."

Nabiki closed her eyes in exaggerated tolerance. "Daddy, you
*know* it won't get any better for waiting. If you tell her
now we'll have all that much extra time to fix whatever mess
she causes over it before they get here."

The head of the Tendo family bowed his head and murmured
something in agreement, then began to drag his steps over to
the dojo, where the shearing screech of a chainsaw was
clearly audible amid the tortured wails of its target.

Opening the dojo door revealed the source of Soun's pain.
Akane brushed a strand of one of her bangs back out of her
eyes behind her ear, adjusted the powertool, and with it bit
into the wood. Soon she had another limb cut from the trunk
in her improvised lumber mill and cut back the power on the
saw, removing her safety goggles to wipe sweat from her face
as Soun cried in the background. Then the youngest took her
stack of rough cut logs under one arm and went and carried
them over to her workbench where the other saws would
transform them into planks and boards.

The head of the Tendo household continued to cry.

Dumping her load of lumber into a bin, the youngest turned
to face her 'daddy', pulling off her ear protection and
dabbing at her face with a cloth - lacy and pink against all
her objections as to the impracticality of that style.
Unfortunately her red bandanas had vanished in the wash.

Soun was taking in his daughter's garb. She had agreed to
feminine. However, Akane had never agreed to *Japanese*
feminine! Kasumi had drawn the line at pants, but hadn't
been willing to perform the Ultimate Protest just because
his youngest was dressed as a Western Cowgirl. The
knee-length denim skirt was just long enough to cover the
tops of her boots, a rope was coiled up at her hip, cotton
blouse and cowboy hat were just jarring enough before one
noticed the Indian-style medicine pouch at her other side -
containing the items she commonly used in clerical
spellcasting.

Cocking one booted foot up against a rough-hewn log, Akane
chirped up. "Howdy! So what's up in these here parts that
y'all wandered by?"

The Japanese were very strictly bound up in tradition. But
*THEIR* tradition was all of what mattered. Anything else
stuck out and deserved ridicule, scorn or avoidance. Akane
had bet counting on the avoidance, and so far she was 100%
right. The local school boys avoided her like the plague.
She didn't realize how much of that was guilt and horror.

Soun wept over the injustice of it all.

His youngest daughter wandered, no, it must be said that she
*moseyed* on out of her own personal wood and leather
working shop (formerly the Tendo dojo) and went to saddle up
her horse.

"Wait." Soun choked out, barely audible out of his tightened
throat.

Chewing on the end of a straw, Akane pushed her Stetson back
and gave him the once over with her eyes. "Well, whaddya
want, paw?"

"I would appreciate it if you..." Soun took a deep breath,
not looking at her as he desperately tried to pretend that
everything going on here was normal. "I would appreciate it
if you wouldn't go tend the herd today. Our family has
important business to discuss."

Soun Tendo's flesh creeped up and down along his spine as
once again the question surfaced of how his youngest had
been able to get a job as a cowhand so quickly, and this in
spite of their proximity to downtown Tokyo.

Akane knew better. This was Nerima. All she'd had to do was
look for Martial Art Ranching and then found the appropriate
teacher one block over the next day, complete with pasture,
herd and range. The amount of yodeling one could get to do
in those southwestern style canyons was
impressive, too. Of course, after another week of this she
expected strange challengers to show up trying to burn her
farm or drive her off of the range, but that was par for the
course down here.

She'd already had to deal once with bandits and wild
Indians. The fact that native American Indians simply do not
occur in modern Japan seemed to be irrelevant. Cattle
rustlers would be any day now. And the Indians were a rival
school using Indian Wrestling style Martial Arts (2000 year
old ancient Arapahi tradition, etc, etc). Still, it was the
various black hatted fellows who were the most concerning.

In Japan, only criminals had guns. Akane was still far more
capable and comfortable with modern weapons than
bare-handed, so she'd put together a surprise, just in case.
Though the last bar fight had really been a rousing one, up
until she got near that table, that is. She *still* didn't
know where Black Bart and his Dozen Thieves had got the idea
that she should table-dance for them. They had barmaids for
that. Akane had a feeling that Bart & his Thieves would be
returning for revenge soon. It was in-genre.

She drew her attention back when she realized that her
'father' was saying something.

"...and so I would appreciate it if you would..."

She realized that he was in the midst of his third repeat,
his frozen brain unable to handle any more. Switching the
straw to the other side of her mouth, she answered. "Hey,
paw. This is the day we get them new hired hands, ain't it?"

Soun nodded desperately, unable to speak.

Akane mounted her horse (a paint with brown socks) in a leap
from behind it, rearing it just for style (and, well, she
*enjoyed* watching her 'daddy' turn white). "Send 'em on
down to the farmhouse, will ya? We've got lambing season
just ahead and it ain't proper nor rightly neighborly not ta
let them folks have a rousing good time roping them little
doggies! Yeeha!"

She rode off in a trail of dust, mysteriously summoned on
their paved street.

Soun wept even more.

Looking out her bedroom window, Kasumi frowned, biting her
lip as she remembered what Akane had promised to do if any
of them tried engaging her to Ranma. A Lady Godiva ride
would be the *least* of her worries, and rather pleasant by
comparison. At the very least, Akane had mentioned they
might eventually get a postcard from her - as she'd rather
live in the jungle and eat bugs the rest of her life than
marry a guy. Soun thought it was a joke. Kasumi knew it
wasn't.

Nabiki was watching from her window as well, and was shaking
her head. "I swear, any day now some guy in a sinister black
cape is going to tie her down on the railroad tracks - and
she'll *enjoy* it."

Not too far away, Black Bart sneezed into his capuccino.

----------

"Eeek! Perverts!"

A scream split the streets of Nerima. This, in itself, was
not unusual. A mob chasing after a lone running figure would
later become a local standby, and underwear theft downright
common. Where this scene diverged from the original is that
the crowd was NOT composed of outraged women seeking to
regain their articles of clothing, but a horde of perverted
boys seeking to steal more of them.

The object of this howling hunt was a young redhaired girl.
It was possible, that on an extremely good day, that the
right supermodel with four or more hours of makeup and
exactly favorable conditions could look this good if the
lighting was just right, but it wasn't likely.

She was currently chasing a runaway panda that was holding
her shirt, and holding an arm across her bare chest was
hindering her running style. Lagging a trifle behind the
furious supernatural beauty and the fleeing panda was a far
more normal Ranma-chan, laboring under the weight of three
heavy packs and trying not to let the mob get her as second
choice to the *other* redhead.

"Gimme back my shirt, you perverted furball!" Shouted the
abnormally gorgeous redhaired lass, presently bouncing along
trying not to be indecent.

[At the price that shopkeeper offered for it?] The panda
signed back, little yen signs of greed showing instead of
pupils in it's eyes. The sign flipped. [You've got to be
crazy.]

Ranko was panting heavily as she labored after the pair of
them. A guy on a bicycle caught up enough to try and grope
her as the sex-maddening figure of the faster redhead was
still far out of reach. Ranko gave him a punch that set him
flying and stole his bicyle, beginning to catch up to the
fleeing pair.

"I mean it! Give it back NOW!"

The panda stopped running, drooling little yen signs and
holding up the placard. [Wait! if he wanted that much for
the *shirt!*] The sign flipped. [How much would he pay for
the *panties!*]

"You wouldn't DARE!?!" Shrieked the absolutely gorgeous
girl, then, leaping over a net cast by the yen-crazed panda,
ran shrieking off ahead of the whole mob, both arms clasped
protectively over her bosom. "HEEEELP!!!"

It came from out of the sun, riding from the top of a rocky
crest, down a sandy slope and into the light, the pounding
of hooves heralding its approach.

VERY stirring banjo music also played, as Akane appeared on
the streets of Nerima, crouched low over the neck of her
horse, plunging the mighty steed into greater and greater
speed as she edged it dramatically past the crowd of lust
crazed teenage boys. Rising high in the stirrups,
leaping her brave mount over a gorge that had mysteriously
appeared in her way for no reason whatsoever, she passed the
girl on the bicycle with a neighborly tip of the hat, then
bore down on the rushing panda in full dramatic might.

Akane swung her off leg around the saddle so both feet
rested in one stirrup, charging her horse and guiding it
close to the side of the furry beast. Then she leapt,
grabbing the animal by the chops as her own horse swung
clear and the energy of the race she transmitted to the
panda bear
in a swing that used her whole body weight to turn the
bear's head about and flip it to the rushing ground.

When the dust cleared Akane had hogtied the animal securely
and was standing there posing. "Yeeha! That there be a
dangerous critter!" Ranko rode up and came to a stop,
panting, and in the speed of the chase it had not been
evident, but both of the redheads were soaking wet. Akane
tossed the shirt she had reclaimed back to the topless one
and went on gloating. "Well, young ladies, that there
varmint sure seems a heap a trouble! Ya'll look wet and
hungry too. Help me get this monster pole-cat up to the
Ranch and we can get ya dry and rustle up some good grub for
ya!"

"You got a deal!" Both the redhaired young ladies cried.
Just then the mob made noises as the found a way across the
chasm that had blocked their way till now. The one girl
*quickly* donned her shirt as Ranko panted from
overexertion.

Akane frowned as the mass of perverted thrillseekers tempted
WAY beyond their limits by far too much display of luscious
and tender flesh, moved forward with primal urges as their
goal.

Akane's horse came up to her side, without removing her eyes
from the dangerous mob, she grabbed the saddle horn and
mounted, pulling the loop of rope free of her side and
spurring directly on toward the onrushing horde o' hentai.
She rose in her stirrups, shouting.

"Old West style a Martial Art Ranching, Final Technique!
Rowdy Roundup!!" Her rope became a blur. When the dust
settled, she was riding calmly as the day is long away from
the entire horde all wrapped up and bound like a good bale
of hay, in fact she was chewing on the end of a straw stuck
in her mouth. Pulling in on the reins to halt next to
redhaired duo, she extended a hand down. "Y'all still wanna
come?"

All three girls cast a glance to the side where the hefty
panda had somehow worked his way around to be topside up and
was creeping away on fingers and toes without having untied
his bonds.

"Groww...urk!" A certain panda found a length of rope had
just settled across his neck and gone taut.

"Huh?!" The redheads' gazes followed the taut length of
rope, back to their really bizarrely clad rescuer. "What
the?" Ranma-chan sputtered.

"Don't worry there, pardner!" The girl tied the rope's end
to the saddle, then leapt off to land on the panda's head,
grabbing his ears and quickly tying the muzzle shut. "This
here little doggie's not gonna cause y'all any problems
now!"

"Uhm..." Ranma-chan said, not at *all* sure how to interpret
this.

"How'd you learn to do that?" Asked her redhaired partner,
now decently dressed again.

"Say, pardners, would y'all be adverse to me taking this
here problem up to the Ranch?" Akane finished tying down the
panda. Special Manuever: Tie Me Kangaroo Down! - Old West
Martial Arts technique that causes the ropes to get tighter
the more the victim struggles.

Ranma twitched. "Ranch? In Tokyo? Errr. What's a ranch?"

"A farm for raising animals." Whispered her gorgeous
companion aside to her, then looked back to their rescuer,
obviously struggling hard to think of words. "Um, howdy!"

Akane gave that girl a neighborly nod, then picked up her
hat from where it had fallen. That was HER Stetson, after
all. Wouldn't do to have some panda roll over and flatten
it.

"Grub?" Ranma-chan was still trying to puzzle this out.
Sure, she'd eaten bugs when they had nothing else, but
people did that when they had a choice??

The pretty girl was eyeing the tied up crowd warily, and
seemed nervous they might get loose. The fact that many of
them were chewingly actively on the rope that bound them
didn't help her any.

"Growf?" The panda was a little puzzled that the ropes
weren't coming off. The last time he'd run into knots like
this had been... the Master. Oh dear.

"Vittles, dinner, food, don't ya know," Akane supplied.
"Y'all look like ya been on the trail a long time, so come
along and I'll set y'all a place at the table. Get outta
this rain too!"

"Sounds good to me." The gorgeous redhead offered.

"Growf?! (Did someone mention food?) Growf! (Waitaminute we
cannot spare a moment in reuniting the houses!)"

"Food?" Ranma blinked, realizing she could put off her
father's plans for awhile. Ranma found herself smiling back
at the western girl. "What kind of food?"

------------

Soun fidgited. "Where are they?"

"Are you sure they're going to be here today, Daddy?" Nabiki
straightened her kimono for what seemed like the thousandth
time.

"Well, that is, I mean..."

Kasumi straightened up. "Father, I'm going to change clothes
and finish dinner."

Nabiki drummed her fingers on the table. "So where's Akane?
Tending the herd?" ~Well at least that means that 'Sabre
Mars' isn't active today. The gangs are trying to lay traps
still.~

Soun nodded. "Errr..."

Nabiki got up as well. "I'm going to change clothes too,
Daddy. Maybe they got delayed or they had enough sense to
get out of this cold rain."

Soun didn't think it sounded like Genma.

------------

Akane started setting plates in front of the redhaired girl,
who began drooling. That other girl had excused herself and
gone on out back to the Necessary.

An older fellow sitting nearby nodded at Ranma. "That Akane
sure knows how to rustle up some vittles, don't she?"

"Mmmmmfmmmph?" Ranma asked with a stuffed mouth.

"Aw, Kreiger, y'all know ah'm not a shadow on my big
sister!" Akane got a wicked gleam in her eyes. "Say, what
y'all think about that bear..."

"Growf?!" The panda went from drooling and tugging at the
stake he was chained to, to a rather alarmed expression.

"Why, Akane, I've never showed you but there are 101 uses
for bear fat!" Kreiger twirled his handlebar moustache and
eyed the bear speculatively.

"Not to mention bear jerky - ah've heard it's *quite*
savory," added Akane.

"And a pandaskin rug would be really nice," continued
Kreiger.

"Mmmmffff," said Ranma, mouth still full as she tried to
inhale a huge meal.

"Akane, I would not have believed it had I not seen it.
Someone with worse table manners than you!" Kreiger smiled
at his student's discomfort.

"That's beef stew, actually," Akane said to Ranma. "Figured
y'all weren't ready for my Volcanic Mars Chili. Oh, and that
there's mashed potatoes, them's greens, and that's steak. Ah
ain't that up on the finer aspects but this simple fare's
easy enough. Now my sister Kasumi, on the other hand, is a
gourmet and she's up on all sorts of Japanese dishes."

"Mmmmrffff?!" Ranma said. It sure beat Oyaji's cooking. And
this girl's sister was a *better* cook?!

"Oh, and y'all gonna want something to wash that down with.
We got java, but since this here's a *Japanese* cattle
ranch, ah thought y'all might prefer some tea." Akane
started pouring into some battered tin cups. "Sorry it ain't
as good as Kasumi could manage, but it'll do fer now eh?"

"Mrrff?"

"Uhm, girl, ya might wanna chew once in awhile." Akane
blinked at the continued prodigious rate of consumption, and
was gratified when Ranma began slowing down. "And actually,
no, it's just a fairly cheap genmai (brown rice) tea. It
washes the vittles down nicely. Hey, what's yer name,
anyway? Can't just keep callin' ya 'girl' or 'kid'."

Ranma swallowed and took a deep breath. "Ranma Saotome."

"Oh, just like *the* Ranma Saotome, eh?" Akane nodded.
"Well, that's kinda cool. Are you any relation to *the*
Ranma?"

The redhead blinked. "THE Ranma Saotome."

"That's the feller who's engaged to your big sister, ain't
it?" Kreiger grinned briefly. "Hell, he must be a *real* man
from what I've heard!"

Akane nodded and moseyed over to where a branding iron was
sitting in a fire. "Yup. Though ah hear his father's a real
idjit."

"Growf!" The panda protested.

"Engaged him to more'n a dozen girls," Akane said, turning
the metal stick around.

"Growf? (Was it that many?)"

"Dumped him repeatedly in a pit of cats," continued Akane,
"taught him a lot of things that weren't right."

"Well, *that's* accurate," mumbled Ranma, eyeing her father
and wondering how many fiancees there really was.

"Why, ah just been in contact with a little gal named
'Okonomiyaki Ucchan' about that daddy of his." Akane
inspected the red glowing end of the iron.

"GROWF?!" Which in panda-speak meant something like "This
sounds like a good time to go back to China."

"Okonomiyaki Ucchan," puzzled Ranma for a moment. "But...
he's a guy..."

"Nah, turns out she's a bit of a tomboy. Oh, and she was
engaged to Ranma when they were younger. Wild, huh?"

Ranma was staring at the panda. "...yeah, wild...."

Akane smiled, stepped into place behind the panda, and
slammed the hot end home just to the side of a fuzzy little
tail.

------------

"Aw, c'mon Mara! What kind of help is that?"

The demoness shrugged. "The kind I could give. I'm a
*demon*, curses are the best that I could do to hide you.
You're lucky you only have to share Ranma's curse. I *could*
have done Genma's or Ryoga's." She sidled up nice and close.
"And you were fortunate you had that suggestion power."

The gorgeous redhead talking to the demoness out behind the
outhouse glanced around shiftily. "Yeah, only now that's
flatlined, and my glamour that keeps me looking less
outrageously attractive than I am wore out and now I'm too
weak to replace it... This is NOT a good time to be a girl!
I've got so many abilities out of whack I couldn't even
catch that fleeing panda Ranma calls a father," she
grumbled.

"Much as I dislike being in that damn ball, you'd better not
leave me out too long. Akane there is sufficiently talented
that she can sense the presence of spirits and demons and
the like." Mara frowned and looked off towards the campfire.
"Though it looks like you missed Genma getting the business
end of a branding iron."

The redhead sniffled. "I missed that? I wonder if I could
get it on video tape?"

"I'd think so," Mara said with a grin. "So he's got the
brand of the Rocking Fist Ranch on his butt from the famed
Red Rider."

"Well... I guess that means I've got to go back. Mara,
return!"

--------

Ranma-j backed up and found someone had put a wall there.
Hmmm. Turning, he noticed there was someone's belt there.
His eyes tracked up, catching a chin.

BIG. Solid-looking. "Oh my."

"Plenty Bull," informed Akane at both Ranma's expressions.
"Practices the ancient style of Martial Arts: Indian
Wrestling. You know, the one where there's a buffalo born at
the same time as the child, and every day the child picks up
and carries the buffalo. Plenty Bull got twins."

"Unnnnnn," grunted Plenty Bull, surprised and pleased that
Akane remembered him that well.

"You here for our rematch, eh?" Akane chambered and stood
ready. "Well, i'm ready!"

"Unnnnnn," disagreed the massive giant.

"No..." Akane relaxed slightly. "Then what *are* you here
for?"

"Unnnnnn," explained Plenty Bull, then turned and walked
away.

"Well, thanks, but i *know* Black Bart is gonna try
something." Akane sighed, then caught the curious looks from
both Ranmas. "Oh, Black Bart is a practictioner and Heir to
Martial Arts: Stage Villainry. Favorite manuever is the
Snively Whiplash. He's got a dozen Thieves he's recruited to
be flunkies. Don't worry about it, one of the weaknesses of
his style is that he's gotta wait for suitably dramatic
moments to unleash his plans."

"Why?" Ranma-native asked.

Ranma-Jared and Akane answered at the same time. "Because...
it's the Code Of The West."

============
Jabberworks Basic Pickup Truck
Crew: 1 driver and 1 passenger (two if they're small or very
friendly)
Maximum Speed: 75mph (120kph)
Engine: gas or electric
Maximum range: 150 miles (240km)
Length: 12ft Width: 5ft
Weight: 1 ton (approximate)
MDC by location: Tires 5 each (4)
Main Body 45
General market cost: 6,000 credits if new. older models with
some damage can run as little as 500 credits.
Weapons: comes with none
this is the VW Bug (old style) of the New West.
Customization of these vehicles is a big thing in some
circles, others prefer their trucks to look battered and
well-used but still add upgrades.
Common upgrades: better armor, hover system, covered
bed, weapon emplacements, anti-theft systems, full
environmental, hydraulic bed, mechanic's bay (small crane,
tool chests, generator), remote signaller (extendable
transmitter tower and transciever), front winch, nuclear or
other engine replacement.
Rimshot's has extra large gastanks (increasing the range
to 300mi), the front winch, full environmental (cabin), and
better armor (MDC 90). The TW enhancements are Chameleon,
Armor (50 MDC), Mystic Alarm, Cleansing System, and Dispel
Magic Barriers. The front winch has an anchor with a TW
modification of Sticky (like a Carpet Of Adhesion).

===========

-----------------------------
"Research is the process of going up alleys
to see if they are blind."
-Marston Bates
"A conscience is the price of morality and
morality is the price of civilization."
-Tom Clancy