[AMG/Ranma][FanFic] Marriage Wishes 1
Luke Thrythlind Green
already righting another chapter of, Family Trees....yet another spoof
of typical cliches*
Urd blinked a little dazedly, trying to decide whether to be elated or
depressed. On the one hand, the wish she had been told to grant had
just given her the go ahead to mettle in the "Love octagon from hell."
On the other hand, the wish her subject, one Nodoka Saotome, had made
just gave her an almost unreachable goal.
"Is something wrong, Urd?" Belldandy asked as she noticed Urd staring
into space again. She'd been doing that since she got back from her
assignment. She had been so proud that Urd was again allowed to go on
assignment, she hoped nothing had gone wrong.
"To quote the woman," Urd said, dazed. "'I wish you could all just get
HAPPILY MARRIED to each other.'"
"Ummm, oh dear," Belldandy said, she'd read the file involved in the
case Urd had gone on. Just in case there was trouble. "Who were the
'all' she was talking about?"
"Her kid," Urd lifted a finger, still staring into space. "His first
fiancee, his second fiancee, his Amazon bride, this rich girl in the
neighborhood, and, since he has a Jusenkyo curse that makes him a
girl, this other kid she think would be a good match if he ever chose
to stay a girl. Oh...and the kicker..."
"There's more?" Belldandy said, sounding more than a little shocked.
"Just before she made the wish," Urd said. "'Oh, Urd-sama, you're such
a wonderful lady, you'd make such a good match for my son.'"
"She called YOU a lady?" Skuld said, from where she was easedropping.
"Yeah," Urd said. "I almost had a heartattack when she did that. But
then she made the wish and I had bigger problems to worry about."
"Wait a minute," Keiichi said, joining the family meeting. "The wish
was worded 'all of you'!?"
"Bingo!" Urd said. "So...now...I have to find a way for all of us to
willing enter into a multiple marriage that ALL of us will be happy
with." The multiple part wasn't really bothering Urd that much. It was
the MARRIAGE part that was giving her fits of hesistance.
"Wait," Skuld said. "There are failsafes in the system to avoid
pushing such wishes on any one with free will. There has to be at
least a remote chance that..." Skuld trailed off.
"Right," Urd said. "And since the Ultimate Force DIDN'T invalidate the
wish..."
"There is a remote chance that all of you COULD decided you want
this," Belldandy finished. "I am sorry, Urd, I asked Peorth to find an
assignment to let you back into work gently. She said she would try to
find one."
"Yeah, but did she say that she'd give it to me?" Urd asked.
"Well, no I suppose she didn't," Belldandy said.
"Peorth," Keiichi and Skuld said simultaneously. "Why am I not
surprised."
Urd looked over toward them, it was scary the way Skuld emulated
Keiichi sometimes, usually when Urd was suspected of something. Skuld
might not love Keiichi as a potential boyfriend, something that Urd
had been nervous about at one point, but she was certainly treating
him as a brother, whether she knew it or not.
"Well," Bellldandy said after a moment. "Do you need any help with
this?"
"I....I'll tell you if I do," Urd said. Then she stood up with a sigh.
"I suppose the first thing to do is to get a look at my betrotheds."
*******
Urd took a moment to acclimate herself to her new location before
looking around. Teleportation always tended to leave her a little
disoriented. Climbing out of those TVs often proved difficult and
painful. She kept tripping and spilling herself over floors and
things, especially with these tiny tvs.
Next time she recycled herself she hoped she recycled to a less
dangerous method of travel. Like fire or lightning or something.
In any case, Urd's momentary distraction is why she didn't realize
where she was until it was too late.
"Well, goddess," a voice said. Urd's eyes snapped open as she looked
around to see a pair of demons eyeing her eagerly. "Isn't this an
interesting turn of events?"
Urd beat down her worry quickly and placed a mask of determination
over her face. She was only a second class goddess, but it wasn't for
lack of power as Belldandy had said. Still, two demons, demons she
could feel were quite powerful as well.
"Yes it is," Urd said. "I didn't quite feel like dealing with your ilk
today. A pity the doublet system is still in place, or I'd remove the
two of you from the scheme of things right now."
She could do it, she thought, even if it wasn't really her style. She
wanted to put on a little face in case they got ideas though.
"Oh yes, the doublet system," one demon said. "You're Urd aren't you?
Which makes your double Mara, right?"
~Oh, that is such a not good thing to hear,~ Urd said. "What makes you
say that?" Urd quietly started preparing a spell.
"Isn't Mara one step above us on the promotion scale?" the one demon
said. "If she were to die who would be promoted."
"Maybe the demons that helped rid Hell of such an active thorn in its
side while at the same time removing an incompetent with sympathies
for the enemy from its employ," the other demon said.
"Easier said than done!" Urd shouted angrily. "URD BOLT!!!"
The power swung forward and blasted into the demons knocking them
back, and then Urd was running. On even terms she could beat them and
kill them, but it would be HARD work. And if she expected to win she
HAD to outright kill them, and that wasn't something she could do.
*******
"RANMA!!! PREPARE TO DIE!!!" Ryouga shouted swinging out with his
umbrella. Ranma casually dodged under it.
"Is that the best you got, P-Chan?" Ranma demanded.
To the casual observer what was going on was an all out fight to the
death. Of course, what the casual observer couldn't know was that
neither Ryouga nor Ranma were fighting seriously.
Had they been fighting seriously then half the city could have easily
been leveled. Which was why most of the onlookers and passersby simply
ignored the fight, or else watched it for a moment.
"Good morning, boys," a woman said as she walked by the park.
"Pleasent day out today."
"Hello Tanaka-san," Ryouga said before turning back to Ranma. "Stand
still and take your pain like a man!!"
"Oh be quiet P-Chan," Ranma said, rolling his eyes. "Oh, Kasumi said
she'd be over tonight ta babysit for you Tanka-san."
"Oh good," the woman said. "I wasn't certain what I was going to do if
she couldn't make it."
"Take me seriously damn it, Ranma!" Ryouga growled, he came down with
an axe kick that Ranma easily dodged and then rolled to standing and
stared for a moment across the street.
"Hey, why'd you stop man?" Ranma asked as he came up standing by
Ryouga. Ryouga glanced across the street and then at Ranma and nodded
in that direction again.
"She's doing it again," Ryouga said, talking about the woman with the
glasses and sketch pad across the street.
"Again?!" Ranma sighed. "Man, what's she doing, making a story about
us to sell as a popular manga or something?"
"Feh," Ryouga said. "As if anyone would want to by a manga about a boy
who's a girl half the time. What'll it be called? Ranma-chan?" Ranma
twitched, and Ryouga latched onto the unusual chance of finding
something that bugged Ranma. "No...I got it. Ranma 1/2, perfect!"
"RYOUGA!!!!" Ranma roared. The continued fight was forestalled by the
ringing of a bell, which introduced the Bicycle of Death as it landed
on Ranma's head.
"Stop talking about creepy Sketch-Woman and take Shampoo on date
Airen!" Shampoo declared dragging her pained husband to be from under
her bike.
"Hey, I never said Takahashi-san was creepy," Ranma muttered.
"RANMA!!" Ryouga growled. "How DARE you cheat on Akane with
Shampoo!!!"
"Stupid pig-boy go marry Kitchen-Destroyer then," Shampoo said
sticking out her tongue at Ryouga as she continued to glomp Ranma.
"Ahhh, hell," Ranma groaned.
The explosion stopped anything the three had to say. Instantly the
three of them were apart and in battle stance as a white-haired woman
came flying down the street pursued by two dangerous looking men, also
flying.
The two men, dressed in dark clothes were firing off blasts of
crackling lightning at the white-haired woman who blocked with what
the martial artists assumed was a shield formed out of ki.
The three martial artists, among the most powerful of their age group,
spared themselves a moment to try and figure out what was going on,
then they extended their chi awareness. Then they moved.
Ryouga and Ranma pulled into their respective chi-drawing stances
while Shampoo charged towards the low-flying combatants.
Urd turned away from her pursuers at the sound of a loud, feminine
scream of challenge. She was presented with the sight of a purple
haired girl charging forward rather rapidly.
The girl had a healthy amount of chi, enough to stand toe to toe with
a minor god or demon. Though she had not nearly so much as the two
boys behind her. Urd nearly had another heartattack, wondering whether
these mortals were attacking her or the demons.
She pulled up short and in her confusion over what to do she almost
let herself get hit from the two demons behind her. Fortunately the
charging girl had tackled her out of the way.
Almost immediately the two boys released their chi and green and
yellow blasts flew across the scene to smash into the unobservant
demons. Urd breathed in relief as she came to the conclusion that the
unlooked for reinforcements were on her side.
"Shampoo show stupid flying men thing or two," Shampoo snapped
starting to stand up.
"They're not men," Urd snapped and pulling the girl down. "They're
demons, so just get the hell out and let me deal with it." ~Besides,
if my time of freedom is limited I should enjoy the moments like this
I have left.~
"How do that while you feeling up Shampoo?" Shampoo asked dryly.
"Well," Urd said with a smirk, something in the back of her name
nagging her about the name Shampoo. "I hadn't considered that."
Shampoo's eye arched as she slipped out of Urd's grip and stood up to
charge forward at the recovering demons. Ranma and Ryouga were quickly
beside her and the three martial artists didn't give their obviously
powerful time to totally recover.
Then Urd was standing up behind them, smirking triumphantly.
"Well, well," she said. "This is a turn of events. I may not be able
to kill you two without repercussions, but mortals! Now that's a
different story, isn't it?"
The demons backed off a moment after desparately fighting to some
breathing room from the three martial artists. All in all the first
exchange between mortal and demon had been a draw.
Though now that there were three mortals and a powerful goddess to aid
them without directly attacking the demons and thus triggering the
doublet system. Well the odds were decidedly against their survival if
they continued.
"Another time goddess," the demons said, taking to the skies.
"Goddess?" Ryouga repeated as the demons fled.
"What the hell was that about?" Ranma demanded, turning to the woman
that had been getting chased. He urked as he got a look at Urd's
outfit.
It hadn't been very modest to begin with, and after being chased
around by demons for fifteen minutes it was now appropriate wear for a
number of bars.
Urd noticed the look and glanced down to see her ruined robes. She
shook her head in disgust.
"Of all the," she shook her head and then cast a quick spell calling
up her "bondage" outfit as some had called what she was now wearing.
It seemed to be a perfectly normal outfit on first glance, until one
caught a look at all the little leather straps and metal rings
attached to those straps. Especially the collar. Though overall, the
effect was cute rather than twisted. She hadn't worn the outfit for a
while, not since Mara had split her demon and goddess halves.
"Goddess?" Ryouga repeated, having not turned around yet.
"Well," Urd said. "Have I gotten to Nerima at least?"
"Yes," Shampoo said. "Now strange, pervert-woman be off."
"Hey," Ranma snapped. "She still hasn't explained what that was
about."
"Goddess?"
Then suddenly the three found themselves frozen as Urd strode forward
a small smirk on her face.
"Well, I sort of just happened by them on accident," Urd explained to
the frozen teens. "Basically, they think if they kill me they'll get
promoted, standard politics in Hell really. Now I have some business
to attend to in Nerima, but first..." She walked around them and gave
them each a rather obvious leer. "I feel like sowing some wild oats,
and you three deserve a reward."
"Ta, ta," Urd said walking away a few minutes later. Back behind her,
three rather confused teenagers sat trying to collect their breaths.
"I'm sure we could have had a lot of fun together, but alas not at the
moment."
"She kiss good," Shampoo said, blinking, Urd had already left. Shampoo
was still in shock and trying to determine what her emotional reaction
should be. "Very weird woman."
"Man," Ranma said. "At least it was just a kiss. The last thing we
need around her is another person out to marry somebody."
Ryouga's mind was still blown out, he'd lost pretty much all of his
vocabulary in that one.
*******
"Okay," Urd said. "Ucchan's, one of the fiancees should be here.
Really, how hard can it be to find even one of these people in this
little place?"
Yes, Urd had yet to connect the martial artists she'd given those
little "pecks" with the martial artists she was supposed to be
meeting. Usually Urd's mind works better than that, but she was a
little distracted at the moment.
Urd walked into restaurant and was greeted by the sight of a waitress
distributing okonomiyaki and a young man cooking behind the gril.
"Welcome to Ucchan's," the young man said happily. "What can I get
you?" Urd strode up to the counter and watched the waitress.
"Oh, anything and sake," Urd said.
"Sorry," the young man said. "I don't have a liquor license, I'll get
you a soda instead." Urd sighed and nodded her head in frustration.
"What do you find so interesting about Konatsu?" the young man asked,
supiciously.
"Konatsu?" Urd said, when the young man nodded she sighed irritably.
"Well scratch that, I was looking for somebody else. Guess she's not
here."
"Who were you looking for?" the chef asked, and she began to draw on
her chi reserves. Urd blinked for a moment.
~Another one?!~ she said. ~The last time there was a concentration of
mortal powers like this was at Atlantis when they were building that
Tower of Babel or whatever.~
"Excuse me?" the young man said, being polite but starting to get a
little antsy. "Didja here me?"
"Oh, no worries," Urd said. "I'll catch her later."
"And who is this person, you're looking for?" the young man asked
again.
Then Urd decided to shut him up. She stood up in a blink almost too
fast for the mortal to see and suddenly planted her lips on the
other's. As she had said before, if she was getting married, she was
sowing some oats first. Even if they weren't very deep oats.
The young man's eyes opened wide and stayed that way as Urd pulled
away smirking. She glanced around at the shocked people in the
restaurant as her most recent paramour seemed to wilt to the floor.
"Not your concern, cutie," Urd said, striding out the door. She was
well gone and out of hearing range by the time Konatsu broke through
his shock. "UKYOU-SAMA!!!"
*******
"Just what were those ditz's going on about?" Akane demanded irritably
as she walked down the street with her friends. They had just had an
encounter with some St. Hebereke girls that had been making some
unusual implications about the night Kodachi had tried to ambush her.
"Oh come on, Akane," Sayuri said. "You're telling me that you haven't
even once thought of that?"
"What are you talking about?" Akane demanded.
"Just what those ditzes were talking about," Yuka said. "You got to
admit, your fiancee isn't the mostly manly out there in some aspects."
"He's macho enough as it is," Akane said irritably.
"You know," Sayuri said, teasing her friend a little. "That just might
mean you like them butch."
"WHAT!?!" Akane shouted.
"Hey," Yuka said, smirking as she joined in. "You hang out with Ukyou
a lot, don't you?"
"I do NOT want to sleep with Ucchan," Akane said.
"We never said anything about sleeping with her," Sayuri said. "And
Ucchan is it?"
"You think Ranma is rubbing off on her?" Yuka asked. Akane fumed
speechlessly for a few seconds before her friends burst out laughing.
"Oh come on," Sayuri said. "We ALL know that you'd be the last to do
ANYTHING with ANYBODY." Akane frowned, both at the teasing and the
last bit. She wasn't entirely certain that was a good thing.
"Whatever," Akane said.
"Really," Yuka said. "You're too easy to tease sometimes."
"Oh damn," Sayuri snapped, looking at her watch. "Sorry, we got to
go."
"Huh, what?" Yuka said. "AHHH!! The book-signing." She started
running, but paused to turn to Akane. "Are you coming?"
"No thanks," Akane said. "I'm saving my money for some Utena stuff
happening next week." Sayuri and Yuka both smirked for a moment.
"There's that trend again," Sayuri said. Then she was off running.
"No wonder all those rumors follow you around," Yuka said, before she
too took off running in a combination of expectant panic and
hysterical laughter.
"Ha. Ha." Akane said irritably crossing her arms.
"Don't let them bother you," a woman said.
Akane turned to find a white haired woman about twenty-four maybe and
wearing an outfit that fit perfectly well within both kinky and
kawaii. She was sitting on a park bench just to the side of the path.
"And what would you know about it?" Akane demanded.
"Well," Urd said. "For one thing, they aren't serious. They were just
looking to get a rise out of you. For another, it might mean that if
do lean that way that your friends won't instantly abandon you."
"I do NOT lean that way," Akane declared angrily.
"Have you ever heard the phrase," Urd started. "The lady doth protest
too much?" Akane winced.
"It's just not...done," Akane said.
"On the contrary," Urd said, smirking. "It's done on an hourly basis."
Akane glared at her. "On Earth, in Hell..."
"Of course," Akane snapped at that.
"And in heaven," Urd finished, deepening her smirk. Akane stared at
her as if she had just committed blasphemy.
"But that's..." Akane sputtered.
"I'll tell you what," Urd said. "You can give yourself a little test
right now."
"What kind of a test," AKane asked supiciously, looking the woman up
and down.
"A kiss," Urd said. "Just a kiss."
"You want me," Akane said. "To kiss...let me guess, you?"
"Yes," Urd said. "If you don't lean that way it will be merely a
strange and unpleasant memory, but one that without a doubt proves you
do not lean that way. There aren't many in the three planes that kiss
better than I do."
"There's no magic or anything involved here is there?" Akane asked.
"The only thing that's going to happen is you're going to look behind
some of the barriers you've built in you mind," Urd promised. "I
promise." There was a small roll of thunder coming out of the clear
sky above as if confirming what she had spoken.
"Just a kiss?" Akane confirmed, looking around to make sure nobody was
watching her.
"I have to find some people in this part of town," Urd said. "No time
for anything else. I was just taking a break here." Akane blushed as
an image came unbidden to her mind.
"Umm, this means that you...?" Akane let her words trail off.
"Oh, I'm AC/DC, dear," Urd said. "Man, woman, as long as it has a
pulse, to die for looks, and an entertaining personality. I even know
some spells to shapechange for a little more...vareity if you know
what I mean. But I hear I may be settling down soon."
"Err, what?" Akane asked.
"Nothing to concern you, this is just me doing a little favor," Urd
said. "So what about that deal?" Akane winced and looked back to where
her friends had vanished. He brow furrowed and her fists clenched as
she began to look at this as a challenge.
~I am NOT a lesbian,~ Akane declared silently before turning to Urd.
"All right, I'll do it!"
"That's the way," Urd said, smirking as she stood up and strode
seductively toward Akane.
She was tall, quite a bit taller than Akane actually, and the woman
had to look down into Akane's determined face.
Akane tried hard to maintain her determination in the face of the
woman's soft hands sliding down to her lower back before Urd leaned in
and there lips met.
Akane's eyes flashed wide and as the embrace drew out, and then she
started to relax. In fact, she could feel herself swooning in the
older woman's arms. Then it was over and the woman carefully guided
the blue-haired girl to sit down on the bench where she had been.
"Well, does that help?" Urd asked. Akane silently and slowly nodded
her head.
"Hai," she said woodenly. "Sumimasen."
"No problem," Urd said. "Whatever conclusion you come to girl. It's
your life not their's, got it?"
"Hai," Akane said woodenly.
"Okay," Urd said. "Now I got to get back to work."
"Bai bai," Akane said waving and blinking.
*******
"And so I spent all day trying to find the five of them," Urd said
drunkenly to the girl next to her. Just how the girl had gotten into
the bar Urd neither knew nor cared, but she was certainly too young to
be doing serious drinking. "And all day nothing! They're supposed to
stick out like sore thumbs, but all day nothing."
"Ah, Urd-san," her companion said, a slim black-haired girl in a brown
Catholic school uniform. "How terrible for you. I can completely
sympathize. Everytime I go looking for my love I find nothing but my
rivals seeking to block me from my true love."
"Hmph," Urd said. "You only have one guy to worry about. I'm supposed
to find four girls and two guys, AND get them to love each other and
me, AND find a way to get all of us married to each other legally. I
mean, I've met five," she looked to her companion. "Six people today I
wouldn't mind spending an extended amount of time with, but nobody
with the right names." She slammed down her fist. "Tomorrow! Tomorrow
I'll read that file straight through and get descriptions and such!"
"A pity they aren't Amazons," Kodachi said, slurring her words. "I
understand they have some rather interesting laws."
"Actually," Urd said. "One of them IS an Amazon, but I really don't
think they'd all want to live China where we'd have to be for Amazon
multiple marriages to be accepted and allowed."
"Yes, but you would be married," Kodachi noted. "And that should
satisfy your honor on the subject of the agreement's wordings." She
turned to order another drink from the bartender.
"Then it would just be a matter of finding some way around the courts
in Japan," Urd realized. "GIRL! You are a GENIUS!
OH-HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO"
"Yes," the drunken girl said. "I am that, aren't I.
OH-HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!"
"Ha," the equally drunken goddess snapped. "Now just comes the hard
part, have get us to all to fall in love."
"Surely that can't be a problem for someone of your obvious tastes,"
the girl indicated.
"You know," Urd said. "You say the sweetest things."
The bartender, meanwhile, wished that his boss had never sold out to
the Kuno family.
*******
"URD!!!!!!" Skuld shrieked as she looked on the sight that greeted her
as she was sent to bring Urd to dinner.
"Owww," Urd said, grumbling awake. "Quiet, squirt, or I'll blow you
back to the heavens."
"You're SUPPOSED To be betrothed you old hag!" Skuld said. "By a
WISH!!!" Urd winced as Skuld continued shrieking.
"Keep it down, you'll wake..." Urd paused and tried to remember if she
had ever gotten the name of her last companion the night before.
"...her."
"You don't even know her NAME!!!" Skuld shrieked.
"Brother-dear," the girl next to Urd complained as she stirred. "I am
feeling 'ill' today, please take your...wait a moment...just where am
I?" Urd and Skuld watched as the girl creaked open an eye and slowly
sat up, covering herself with the bed sheet.
"Errr, good morning," Urd said. The girl turned even paler than she
had been at the start as she looked to the other person in the bed
with her and parts of last night began to filter into her brain.
"AH MEGUMISAMA!!!!" she screamed and practically blazed out of the
room. She was gone before Skuld and Urd could react.
"What did you do?" Skuld demanded. "Seduce the poor girl with one of
your love potions?" Urd racked her mind for a moment.
"Actually," Urd said. "I remember getting drunk with her at the bar,
and vaguely remembered the taxi, but after that..." She shrugged.
"Right," Skuld said disbelievingly. "You're just a big pervert, no way
anybody is going to be interested in marrying you. Much less six
people."
"Oh, did Kodachi-san leave already?" Belldandy asked as she looked
into the room cautiously. Then she glanced down at Skuld and gently
scolded. "I told you not to go into her room, Imoto-chan. Oh well, it
seems you didn't intrude on their privacy after all."
"You knew about this?" Skuld blinked.
"Oh yes," Belldandy said. "Keiichi and I helped them into the house
last night. They both fell asleep right after reaching Urd's room. I
didn't think we should move you after that, you looked so
comfortable."
"Uh, thanks Bell," Urd said.
"B...but..." Skuld sputtered. "Isn't she supposed to be getting
herself married now or something. It isn't right to be messing around
like that."
"Oh, but that's one of the girls she's supposed to marry, Skuld,"
Belldandy said. Skuld and Urd froze.
After a moment Skuld's face broke into a somewhat silly grin as Urd
look crestfallen.
"I spent all night with her and made NO move on her?" Urd asked just
as Skuld burst into giggles.
"Oh, I wouldn't say that," Bell said. "Perhaps you just don't
remember." Urd began to go over yesterday in her mind, ignoring the
hangover and her younger sister as best as she could.
She had a sinking feeling as she turned to look at the file. As she
looked over the file and called up descriptions and graphics the
sinking feeling grew.
"Urd, please stop banging your head on the desk," Belldandy said.
"Skuld, it's not nice to laugh at Urd."
The middle sister sighed and shook her head as the hangover combined
with the desk eventually put her sister back out, and Skuld almost
suffocated on her laughter. This was going to be a long day.