[Ranma][FanFic] A Stained Glass Mind - Parts 8-9

[Anand Rao]

Ranma 1/2 is owned by Rumiko Takahashi

Tribe of One is owned by TSR

"Hahaha... So, where have you been, boy? It's been at least 3 months
since I've seen you." Genma nervously said as he tried to dodge Ryoga's
attacks.

"Never mind where I've been Old Man! I've seen hell because of you.
You and your stupid training methods!" Ryoga yelled back as he hit Genma
over the head with a bamboo umbrella.

"Uh... Excuse me?" Ranma said mildly, trying to break up the fight.

"HA! I trained you when no one else would! It didn't bother _me_ that
you got lost for days at a time... What other sensei could have taught
you under those circumstances?" Genma retorted, rubbing his head.

"Shut up and die like the Old Fool that you are!"

<Watcher> *Someone else is coming!*

Ryoga was about to take another swing at Genma, but another section of
the back fence exploded and a female voice called out,
"Ryoga-samaaaaaaa!"

Ryoga froze in mid-swing and jerked his head towards the voice.

"Akari!" he said, his voice filled with fear. "How did she find me?"

"Who's that?" Ranma asked.

"Oh... That's just Akari-chan; Ryoga's fiancee." Genma calmly replied.

"SHE IS NOT MY FIANCEE!" Ryoga screamed, glaring at Genma, then at
Ranma.

Ryoga turned back towards Genma and said, "We'll settle this later, Old
man!"

Akari, as it turned out, was a riding a large... pig. Her mount bounded
after Ryoga who ran out of the backyard, making yet another whole in the
already diminishing fence.

"Hi Saotome-san... Bye Saotome-san!" Akari called out as she passed
Genma.

As the dust cleared and the two uninvited guests were almost out of
sight, Akari's voice could heard in the distance, "Ryoga-samaaaaaaaa!"

Ranma just stared at his father, his face full of curiosity.

<Ranma> *I honestly don't know what to say...*

<Bitter> *Mind if I try?*

<Ranma> *Be my guest.*

Ranma ducked under and Bitter took control.

Ranma/Bitter cleared his throat and said, "Otosan... WHAT the HELL was
THAT all about?"

<Lyric> *Real smooth smart guy...*

*****************************************
* *
* Raoh the Conqueror presents *
* *
* A Story of Ranma 1/2 *
* *
* A Stained Glass Mind part 8 *
* *
*****************************************

Nodoka walked out to the backyard just in time to see Ryoga and Akari
leave. She gave Genma a frosty look and said, "Something you haven't
told me about, dear?"

"Uh... well... maybe." Genma replied lamely as he sat down on the back
porch.

"Let's see... where to begin?" Genma sighed.

"You can start with telling us who that umbrella-weilding nut and his
porcine side-kick were." Ranma/Bitter said.

"Ranma, you are the heir to the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial
Arts... but you are not the School's only student."

<Play> *You mean there are OTHERS out there who are like HIM?*

"So that guy... Ryoga, was a student of yours?" Ranma/Bitter asked.

"Yes. You see, no one else would train him and since I wanted, no,
needed someone to train, I decided to let him be my student."

<Guardian> *How kind.*

"Why wouldn't anyone else train him?" Ranma/Bitter asked.

"Everyone thought that the boy had no drive, no ambition, that he did
not take the art seriously. Ryoga would miss classes and sparring
sessions for weeks at a time. It really isn't his fault though. He has
the worst sense of direction imaginable. His whole family suffers from
the same malady." Genma said.

<Ranma> *What?*

"Bad sense of direction? I'm kinda lost here... what does that have to
do with the Art and him being your student?" Ranma/Bitter asked.

"Ranma, he missed classes because he could never FIND the Training
Halls. His sense of direction is THAT bad. He usually gets somewhere
purely by accident or luck."

<Play> *What a loser!*

"Okaaaay.... Where do you come in?"

"Well, I was constantly traveling, and I ran into him several times. So
I started teaching him the Art. One day, a few months back, we found
Jusenkyou together and-"

Ranma, livid with anger, quickly took control and yelled, "You mean YOU
KNEW ABOUT THAT PLACE AND TOOK ME THERE ANYWAY???"

<Guardian> *He's hopeless.*

"Ranma calm down... hehehe... I honestly didn't know about the curses!
Ryoga fell into one of the pools and when he didn't get out, I assumed
he just got lost."

"How can anyone get lost in one of thoses small pools?" Ranma demanded.

"You don't know Ryoga... he can get lost ANYWHERE."

Ranma sighed and said, "So he's cursed too and blames you for the whole
thing... great."

"Well, he's gone now. It'll probably take him a few weeks to get back
here... HAHAHAHA!"

"Otosan. Who is Akari, then?" Ranma asked.

"Like I said, she's Ryoga's fiancee." Genma replied.

"He didn't seem to think so..." Ranma pointed out.

"Yes, well I engaged him to her a few years back and-" Genma began.

"Wait a minute! YOU engaged him to her? What gave YOU the right to do
that?" Ranma asked.

"As it turns out, I spent more time with Ryoga than his family did. I
did meet his parents a few times and they trusted my judgement in such
matters. I happened to meet Akari and Ryoga's parents with-in a few
days of each other. I told them my idea and they readily agreed. They
trusted my judgement." Genma finished proudly.

<Play> *Then THEY were losers too!*

<Ranma> *Guardian, there's something he's not telling us...*

<Guardian> *Do you want me to check it out?*

<Ranma> *Hmmmm... no, I'll handle it.*

"So, what did you get out of all this, Otosan?" Ranma asked.

"What do you mean, Ranma? I was just happy to see my only student
engaged to such a lovely girl." Genma replied innocently.

"Otosan..."

"Ok, Ok... Her grandfather gave me a couple of pigs." Genma admitted.

"PIGS? You traded your student's future for PIGS?" Ranma asked
incredulously.

<Bitter> *Next chance we get, we're going to a temple and give our
thanks to Kami-sama that we were not raised by this idiot!*

"They weren't ordinary pigs!" Genma replied in an injured tone.

"They were big and plump and I had enough bacon, pork chops, and cured
ham to last weeks!"

Ranma put his head in his hands and sighed.

"Otosan, what are we going to do about this?" he asked.

"Yes husband. How DO you plan on dealing with this situation?" Nodoka
also asked, finally breaking her silence.

Genma flinched under his wife's cool, steady gaze.

Since it was becoming obvious there wasn't going to be any sparring
session that morning, Ranma left Genma to deal with Nodoka and got ready
for school. After getting dressed, and eating, (his parents were STILL
in the backyard), he walked to the Tendo Dojo.

<Play> *Why are we coming back HERE? Let's go straight to school!*

<Bitter> *So eager to get to class, Play?*

<Play> *Don't be an idiot. I just wanna see Kuno-chan!*

<Ranma> *Well, we get to see Akane instead...*

<Bitter> *And Nabiki.*

<Ranma> *Right...*

<Play> *Well, ok... Akane is kinda cute...*

<Bitter> *To you, EVERYONE is cute.*

<Play> *Hmph... Everyone except for YOU!*

<Lyric> *Ha Ha! Bitter's uncute! Bitter's uncute!*

<Guardian> *Settle down, 'children'*

<Lyric> *YES MOMMY! HAHAHAHA...*

<Ranma> *sigh*

Ranma met the Tendo girls as they were walking out of their front gate.

"Uh... hi." Ranma said shyly.

Akane and Nabiki both smiled.

"Hi Ranma-kun. How did things go with Kuno-chan yesterday?" Nabiki
asked.

"Uh... Not too bad." Ranma said quickly turning towards Furinken and
quickening his pace.

Nabiki and Akane exchanged concerned glances and caught up with Ranma.

"Are you all right? Did you beat him?" Akane asked.

"Well... not exactly..." Ranma managed.

"So he beat you? It's not a big deal Ranma, he's really good." Akane
replied.

"Well... not exactly..."

"Ranma-kun! What EXACTLY did happen?" Nabiki asked.

<Ranma> *Oh man...*

<Bitter> *Oh please! Want me to handle this?*

<Ranma> *Would you?*

Ranma ducked under and Bitter once again took control.

He turned and smirked at Nabiki, "That fool is a bigger idiot than I
thought he was!"

"What do you mean?" Nabiki asked, a smile coming to her lips in
expectation.

<Bitter> *Now THAT is a beautiful smile.*

<Guardian> *Bitter... Not you TOO!*

"Kuno didn't want to fight me. He walked out in front of the setting
sun, like some hero from a movie and threw a bouquet of roses at me.
Then he told me that he loved me and walked away." Ranma/Bitter replied.

Akane and Nabiki stopped walked.

"He said-"

"that he loved you?!"

"Hahahaha... Yep. It was so funny... at least at the time. I really
don't know what to do about it now. Guess I'll just tell him that I'm
not interested."

<Ranma> *It wasn't FUNNY at all!*

<Bitter> *Oh calm down! Your whole problem was Akane and Nabiki
teasing you, right? Well, you have no reason to be embarrassed anymore.
You HAVE to learn to laugh at yourself Ranma... There is too much going
on for you NOT too.*

<Ranma> *Whatever...*

"That might not work with Kuno." Akane pointed out.

Nabiki immediately ignored the conversation. She had a speculative
gleam in her eyes and was considering the various income possibilities
that Kuno could provide her through Ranma.

*Hmmm... This is going to be profitable AND fun!* she thought to
herself.

<Ranma> *OK, we're almost here! Let me out.*

<Guardian> *You want to interfere in Akane's fight again, don't you?*

<Ranma> *I just wanna help her... what's wrong with that?*

<Guardian> *She doesn't NEED our help.*

<Bitter> *Besides, if you get involved she'll only get mad and we'll be
late for class again. Just shut up and let me lead for a while... You
don't like classes anyway. Go to sleep, or something. I'll wake you up
during lunch, OK?*

<Ranma> *Oh... OK.*

The trio reached the front gates of the high school and Nabiki quickly
got to class while Akane fought her battle. Ranma/Bitter tried to
follow Nabiki, but he wasn't agile enough, as he had no experience in
fighting. On top of this, the students who were fighting Akane turned
on him because of his supposed 'engagement' to Akane.

<Ranma> *Now you wanna let me out? Looks like Kuno-itis is catching.*

<Bitter> *uh... that might not be such A BAD IDEA!*

Bitter promptly fled as a baseball player swung a bat at him. Ranma
took control just in time to grab hold of the wooden bat before it
implanted itself on his head. Ranma pulled the bat out of the player's
hand and starting swinging it around him as he ran towards the school
building. Those students who did not get out of Ranma's path were
painfully smacked with the wooden bat, which was now moving too fast for
the eye to see. Within seconds Ranma had entered the school building
and tossed the bat on the ground. Akane followed in after him,
breathing heavily.

"I TOLD you that I didn't need your HELP!" she yelled at Ranma.

"Geez Akane, they were attacking me too! What was I supposed to do?"
Ranma replied.

"I don't need a... a... BOY to defend me!" Akane said as she stomped off
to class.

<Guardian> *Well THAT went well...*

<Ranma> *Oh, shut up!*

<Bitter> *Is it safe to come out now?*

<Ranma> *Yeah... we'd better get to class.*

<Play> *I didn't see Kuno-chan today...*

<Bitter> *Thank God for small favors, maybe we got lucky today.*

**************************************

"So, Kuno-chan... I hear you have a new love interest." Nabiki said as
she sat down at her desk.

Kuno snapped his head towards Nabiki and said, "What do you know, woman?
Tell me, do you have any information on my red-headed goddess?"

"She has a pig-tail and wears Chinese-style clothes, right?"

"Nabiki Tendo! How do you know her?" Kuno demanded.

Nabiki took a set of photographs out of her pocket and spread them on
Kuno's desk.

"I figured you might be interested in these..."

Kuno stared at the pictures with intense pleasure.

"Ah, so you DO know her! She is magnificent, is she not?" Kuno beamed.

"Yeah, right.... 1000 yen each. After all, she is 'magnificent'."

"1000 yen?! The Gods themselves weep at such a price!" Kuno protested.

"Hey! These were not easy to come by! 1000 yen. Take it or leave it."

Kuno stared once more at the photos and sighed lustily. He handed
Nabiki a 5000 yen bill. As he handed her the cash, his face took on a
more speculative look. This surprised Nabiki since Kuno NEVER looked
like that before. *He actually looks like he's.... thinking!*

"Nabiki Tendo... perhaps there is another service you can render for
me." Kuno said.

"Oh?"

Kuno reached into a baf that was sitting by his desk and pulled out a
stuffed doll. He placed it on the desk and smiled proudly at Nabiki.

"Uh... What is that, Kuno-chan?" Nabiki asked.

"It's a gift." Kuno said.

"Thanks, but I'm not interested."

"It's NOT FOR YOU! It's for my goddess in pigtails."

*Th-that's for Ranma?!* Nabiki thought then burst out laughing.

"Ok Kuno, if you really want to give that to the pig-tailed girl, I
_might_ be able to help... Oh, I have some _other_ pictures you might be
interested in..."

**********************************

Ranma yawned and stretched his arms wide as he exited the school
building.

"Did answering all those questions tired you out Ranma?" Akane asked
from behind him.

"Uh... yeah." he replied lamely.

<Bitter> *Tired out? Is she TRYING to be insulting? These classes are
a joke.*

<Guardian> *Maybe to you, but remember, Ranma just woke up.*

Ranma had decided to follow Bitter's advice and had gone to sleep during
class. Bitter was only too happy to take over and prove to everyone
just how smart he was. He tried hard not to be smug when he answered or
questioned the teacher, he didn't want to make too many enemies, after
all.

"I guess high school in China is a bit more advanced than it is here,
but where did you learn that advanced Calculus?" Akane asked, a bit
impressed.

"Uh... one of my Aunt's friends is a math professor! Yeah! That's it!
hahahaha..."

<Ranma> *Calculus! Bitter, what were you doing? You just HAD to show
off didn't you? What the hell is Calculus anyway?*

<Bitter> *The teacher asked me to solve the problem, he didn't say HOW.
I figured calc. would be better than simple algebra.*

<Guardian> *I have never failed to be impressed by just HOW much you
can pontificate... Turning that simple math problem in a calculus
equation was impressive.. bravo.*

<Bitter> *HEY! You guys have fun your way, and I'll have fun mine!*

<Play> *'Fun' he says!*

"Right Ranma... Anyway, I have to go talk to Yuki for a bit, I'll see
you tomorrow?"

"Uh... I could wait? That is, if you WANT me too, no big deal or
nothing..." Ranma replied nervously.

<Guardian> *Ranma...*

Akane smiled faintly and said, "Uh... sure. I'll meet you down by the
water fountain in about 20 minutes, OK?"

"I'll see ya then." Ranma said as he jogged off.

Akane sighed, then turned away to look for her friend.

Ranma jogged by the school building, heading towards the fountain. He
really didn't have anything better to do so decided to just wait for
Akane. As he was about to round the corner of the building, he collided
with Kuno.

<Play> *Kuno-chan! Let me out! pleasepleaseplease*

"Hey Kuno." Ranma said warily.

"You will address me as Sempai." Kuno declared.

"Uh, yeah. See ya later!" Ranma said as he tried to walk around Kuno.

"Wait one moment Ranma Saotome..."

"What?" Ranma asked, a bit irritated.

"I want to know WHY, Saotome. WHY must I give this to YOU?" Kuno
demanded, thrusting the doll in front of Ranma's face.

"What IS this" Ranma asked.

"It's a cute little dolly." Kuno replied.

"I CAN SEE THAT! Why are you giving it to me?"

"That is what I would like to know as well. Quoth Nabiki Tendo, 'If you
want to give this gift to the pig-tailed girl, then give it to Ranma,
he'll make sure she get's it.' "

<Ranma> *Oh man...*

<Bitter> *Nabiki's a sharp one...*

<Guardian> *This is NOT the time to be impressed!*

"Forget about her Kuno, she doesn't want ANYTHING to do with you!" Ranma
said as he forcefully walked past the Kendoist.

This time, Ranma managed to clear the corner of the building and nearly
walked into Nabiki.

"Nabiki! What are YOU doing here?" Ranma asked, suspicion beginning to
form in his mind.

Nabiki stepped back and said, "Oh nothing... Just wanted to see how
things went with you and Kuno."

All of a sudden a splash of cold water fell on Ranma from the top of the
building.

"Sorry down there!" a student yelled.

<Watcher> *Kuno's-*

Ranma-chan turned around, stared up at the student, and was about to
yell when Kuno suddenly filled her vision.

"Pig-tailed Girl! Oh, how I have longed to see you once more!" Kuno
exclaimed.

<Ranma> *Sigh... I forgot about him.*

Ranma-chan decked Kuno in the face and scowled at him. Kuno shrugged
off the punch and hugged Ranma-chan tightly to his chest. Nabiki
giggled and pulled a thermos out of school bag. *You can pay later,
Ranma-kun.* She thought as she opened the thermos and dumped the
contents on Ranma-chan's head.

"Oh my darling..." Kuno said lovingly just before Ranma kicked him in
the face.

"Are ya done hugging me yet?" Ranma asked sarcastically.

"Saotome?" Kuno said bewildered.

"So you know my secret now. Later." Ranma said in a flat voice as he
headed towards the fountain.

"You evil Sorcerer! Enslaver of Women! What have to DONE to the
Pig-tail Girl?"

Ranma facefaulted while the others of the tribe laughed.

<Play> *I'm here Kuno-chan! Save me! Save me!*

<Bitter> *hahaha... that wasn't... hahaha.... funny, Play...*

<Guardian> *I don't think that he gets it.*

"Hmmm... Maybe I'd better explain." Nabiki said as she walked up to
Kuno.

"Ah... Kuno-chan? You see, that pigtailed girl that you love belongs to
Ranma... body and soul..."

<Guardian> *I.... don't think that she's helping.*

"BODY...AND...SOUL?" Kuno ground out.

He jumped towards Ranma his sword held high.

"You ARE a demon, aren't you?"

"What are you talking about? If you can't even understand what you see
before you then I can't help you!" Ranma shouted back.

"Silence cur! As heaven's knight, I SHALL rescue the pigtailed one!"
Kuno proclaimed.

<Ranma> *That's it. I've had enough.*

"Oh yeah, Kuno? Rescue THIS!" Ranma said, launching himself at Kuno,
feet first.

Ranma's kick caught Kuno squarely on the chest and all the pictures that
Kuno had bought flew out of his kimono. Surprised at the sudden flurry
of paper, Ranma started plucking the pictures out of the air and looked
at them.

"What are these?" He asked aloud.

<Bitter> *Looks like we found out what Nabiki did with those
pictures... heh, what a gal.*

<Play> *Ohhhhh... Some of these are of Akane too!*

"You ignore me! In the middle of Combat?" Kuno exclaimed, angry beyond
words, (and for him, that's say A LOT.)

<Watcher> *LOOK OUT!!!!!*

Ranma looked up at Kuno just in time to get solidly hit by the Kendoist'
bokken. Ranma clutched his ribs and flipped back out of Kuno's range.
Ranma turned his head from side to side, glancing around and getting his
bearings straight. He saw Akane standing by the fountain, looking
worriedly in his direction.

<Ranma> *Looks like she's early.*

<Guardian> *You don't have the time to be mooning over her now. Let
Shade out!*

Ranma snapped his head back towards Kuno.

<Ranma> *NO! This is MY fight!*

<Guardian> *Ranma...*

<Ranma> *Don't worry, I can handle it. You know I can.*

"This shall end NOW Saotome! And then, I will force you to free my
beloved!" Kuno proclaimed.

<Bitter> *Doesn't he EVER get tired of listening to the sound of his
own voice?*

Kuno took a deep breath, took a step towards Ranma and starting striking
at him with his bokken. Faster and faster, Kuno moved, and soon neither
Nabiki nor Akane could see the bokken; it was moving in a wall-like
blur, straight towards Ranma. Ranma was able to dodge each strike, but
Kuno was forcing him to give up ground. Soon, Ranma knew, he would end
up in the fountain and THAT would be bad.

<Guardian> *NOW would be a good time to do something.*

Ranma smiled, crouched down and swung his leg in a seeming arc that
traveled the length of Kuno's body. Suddenly Kuno stopped and Ranma
stood up, facing away from him.

Akane and Nabiki looked on expectantly as Ranma said, "Heh. It's all
over."

Hem then turned towards Kuno just as the Kendoist fell flat on his face,
the bokken still clutched in his hands. Akane and Nabiki cautiously
walked up to Kuno and stared at his prone body.

"What happened?" Akane asked.

Nabiki knelt down and gently turned Kuno over and Akane gasped when she
saw the bruises and foot marks all over the front of Kuno's body.

"Each blow hit a vital point!" Akane exclaimed.

"You mean you _kicked_ him? I didn't even see you touch him." Nabiki
said, obviously impressed.

"Ah, he was nothin' " Ranma said nonchalantly.

<Bitter> *ya right.*

"Oh 'nothing', eh?" Akane said, voicing Bitter's sentiment.

"What about the hit you took? It was somewhere... around HERE!" Akane
said poking Ranma in the ribs.

Ranma screamed and nearly collapsed in pain. It took a great deal of
effort to keep Shade down.

"That was stupid Ranma! What distracted you during the fight anyway?"

Ranma glared at Akane and handed over some of the photos he had caught.
Akane looked at the pictures and started to turn red. A vein in her
neck was starting to bulge and she scream, "WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH
THESE PICTURES OF ME!"

"Hey! KUNO had the pictures, not ME!" Ranma yelled back.

"Besides, he had some pictures of ME too..." he continued.

Akane turned towards her sister, "NABIKI!" she admonished.

"Can't blame a girl for trying to make a little cash!" She said sweetly.

<Bitter> *Speaking of which... Let me out for a few Ranma.*

<Ranma> *Be my guest. Careful, Bitter... My ribs REALLY hurt.*

<Bitter> *Sigh... OK.*

Ranma ducked under and Bitter took control, wincing as he felt the pain
from Kuno's blow.

<Bitter> *I'm going to make this quick. I HATE pain.*

<Ranma> *It's no party for me either.*

"Nabiki? Exactly HOW much money did you make off those pictures of me?"
Ranma/Bitter asked.

Nabiki frowned and said, "5000 yen, 1000 per photo, why do you ask?"

Ranma/Bitter smiled and held out his hand.

"I'll take my 3000 yen now, please." He said.

Nabiki's eyes narrowed and she said, "What are you talking about? WHAT
3000 yen?!"

"Don't tell me you forgot our verbal agreement _already_ Nabiki.
Remember? I get a 60% cut on all proceeds from those pictures. I
suggest that we... talk and renegotiate that contract before you sell
any more."

Nabiki glared at Ranma then sullenly handed over 3000 yen.

"Nice move Saotome, let's hope that you can keep up with me." she said
in a flat voice.

<Bitter> *Well, that's it for me. I'm out of here!*

<Ranma> *Aw man, what did ya do THAT for?*

<Bitter> *It was fun. Besides, I want to see how she retaliates.*

<Ranma> *Well I DON'T!*

<Bitter> *Ranma, you handle the physical challenges and I'll handle the
mental ones.*

Bitter ducked down but Play took control before Ranma could.

"Don't be too mad about the pictures, Akane." Ranma/Play coyly said.

Akane gave Ranma a withering glare and was about to reply but Ranma/Play
continued, "Besides, you look sooooo cute in them!"

Ranma/Play giggled then ran towards home leaving a blushing Akane
behind.

Nabiki glanced at Akane then said, "Maybe we should have Daddy
re-instate that engagement, eh Akane?"

"What are you talking about? I DON'T want to marry HIM!" Akane said and
then she too ran off home.

*I might not have been talking about _you_, sis...* Nabiki thought to
herself as she slowly followed after Akane.

*****************************
The End - part 8
*****************************

I was going add a bit more about Ryoga and Akari at the end here, but
decided to hold off for a while.

Things are still going relatively well for Ranma, but the other members
of the tribe keep getting him into trouble...

Next Up:

Saotome (which one?) vs. Hibiki!

The return of everyone's favorite purple-haired Amazon!

and....

"C-C-C-C-Cats!!!!!!"

(Note: I am skipping over the Golden Pair, just didn't like them too
much, although Play would NOT have been adverse to a kiss from Mikado.)

Ranma 1/2 is owned by Rumiko Takahashi

Tribe of One is owned by TSR

"OK, just hold on to my hand... That's right, just walk slowly now..."

<Bitter> *Why can't _I_ be the one doing this?*

<Ranma> *Because if you tried to balance on a fence like this, you
would fall, and take Nabiki with you.*

Ranma, Akane, and Nabiki had been walking to school, just like any other
day. However, a few minutes after they had started, Ranma had taken to
walking on the fence adjacent to the sidewalk. He called it balance
practice while the rest of the tribe, (and Akane), called it showing
off.

Ranma had made it look so easy, that Nabiki had wanted to try it. So
there they were, standing on the fence, hand in hand.

<Bitter> *I still think I could do this!*

<Ranma> *Look, you can practice later, OK?*

<Lyric> *Bitter is jealous! Bitter is jealous!*

<Bitter> *I AM NOT!*

<Ranma> *Calm down... What's the big deal anyway?*

<Bitter> *Fine. I'm ducking under. Deal with school YOURSELF today!*

<Ranma> *Bitter? Bitter?*

<Guardian> *Forget it Ranma, he's gone.*

<Ranma> *What do you mean, he's GONE? Where could he possibly go?*

<Guardian> *There are parts of our mind that YOU that you can't access
Ranma. Bitter is busy sulking in one of thoses places...*

<Ranma> *Oh swell... How am I gonna get through class?*

<Guardian> *Looks like you're going to have to take care of it
yourself. Unless, of course, you'd rather have Play do it...*

<Ranma> *...*

*****************************************
* *
* Raoh the Conqueror presents *
* *
* A Story of Ranma 1/2 *
* *
* A Stained Glass Mind part 9 *
* *
*****************************************

"OK, Ranma-kun. I think you'd better help me down now, we don't want to
be late for class..." Nabiki said as she looked longingly at the
sidewalk below.

"Hehehe... Sure Nabiki." Ranma replied as he lifted Nabiki off of her
feet and jumped down on the sidewalk next to Akane.

The three students started running towards school.

"So, Akane, would you like to give it a try?" Ranma asked as Nabiki gave
him a dark look.

"Why would I want to do something stupid like that?" she asked.

<Ranma> *Sheesh... Touchy...*

<Guardian> *Sigh... You're better off leaving her alone.*

Just as they were about to turn a corner, someone collided with Ranma.
Both Ranma and the person who ran into him fell to the ground.

<Ranma> *Ouch... Why didn't the Watcher warn me?*

<Guardian> *I don't know. She couldn't sense him.*

Ranma rubbed his nose and took a look at the person he ran into.

<Play> *HEY! It's what's-his-face! The loser!*

<Guardian> *You mean Ryoga.*

<Ranma> *How does he keep getting past Watcher?*

"Uh... Sorry for running into you like that." Ryoga said as he stood up.

"Yeah, no problem. You're Ryoga right?" Ranma asked.

Ryoga looked at Ranma, a startled expression on his face.

"Are you OK, Ranma-kun?" Nabiki asked, watching the two men, Akane
standing beside her.

"We're fine Nabiki. Why don't you girls head off to school, Ryoga and I
need to talk."

"Sure thing Ranma." Akane said dubiously then hurried off past them.

Nabiki glanced at Akane then back to Ranma and followed her sister.

"Do... Do I know you?" Ryoga asked.

<Guardian> *He seems really confused, doesn't he?*

"Well, we haven't really been introduced, but the last time I saw you
you were busy making a hole in my fence after trying to kill my father."
Ranma replied with a grin.

Ryoga gave Ranma a blank look and idly scratched the back of his head.

<Guardian> *He still doesn't get it.*

<Ranma> *Sigh*

"My name is Ranma Saotome. Genma Saotome is my father." Ranma
explained.

Ryoga's face suddenly contorted with rage.

"That... that old man is your father? I feel sorry for you. I AM GOING
TO KILL HIM!"

Ryoga grabbed a fist full of Ranma's shirt and demanded, "Where is he!
You'll tell me right now! Take me to your house before I hurt you!"

Ranma hit Ryoga's hand away and growled, "DON'T threaten me. You won't
get anywhere that way. I know you have reason to be angry at my father,
but I WILL NOT let you hurt him!"

"Will not let?" Ryoga said incredulously.

<Guardian> *This isn't going as well as I had hoped.*

<Ranma> *Always the idealist, eh Guardian? This was inevitable.*

"You can't know... you can't UNDERSTAND what that fool of a father DID
TO ME!" Ryoga screamed.

"Oh? Was it something like engaging you to a girl you didn't know, then
later irresponsibly dumping you into a cursed spring so that you change
forms whenever cold water touches you? Was it something like that?
'Cause if it was, believe me, I CAN RELATE!" Ranma replied.

Realization dawned on Ryoga and he almost laughed, "You too?"

Ranma nodded curtly and Ryoga sighed.

"Then you should HELPING me instead of DEFENDING him!"

"He's my father, I was just recently reunited with him and my mother.
I'll do anything I have to protect my family."

Ryoga turned away, "Suit yourself Saotome. I will be coming for the old
man soon. If you want to get in the way, well... it's your funeral."

Ryoga walked away and Ranma turned towards school and ran.

<Guardian> *Another enemy...We REALLY need this Ranma.*

<Ranma> *What was I supposed to do?*

<Play> *Well, we could have let him kill Pop...*

<Guardian> *You need to learn to be less... confrontational.*

<Ranma> *Right, so I was supposed to 'feel his pain' or something?*

<Guardian> *You could probably relate to what he is going through
better than most people.*

<Ranma> *Maybe...*

Ranma reached the front gate of school and was expecting to see the
usual crowd of injured boys lying all over the place. Instead, the
school grounds looked almost normal. His curiosity was cut short as the
first bell rang, so he quickly ran to class.

He smiled at Akane as he sat down at his desk, but frowned as she
ignored him.

<Ranma> *What's with her?*

<Guardian> *If you had to fight a horde of boys every morning would YOU
be happy?*

<Ranma> *Well...*

<Guardian> *Never mind. MOST people would be miserable under such
circumstances.*

"Hey Akane, how'd the fight go this morning? Bet ya didn't have to face
Kuno,eh?" Ranma whispered to her.

Akane turned towards Ranma slightly, glared then turned back to face the
class. Ranma was about to talk to her again, but the teacher started
his lecture.

<Guardian> *Pay attention! Bitter isn't going to help you out today.*

Ranma sighed, turned towards the front of the class and slouched down in
his desk.

<Ranma> *Right...*

**************************************

<Ranma> *Well I'm glad THAT'S over! Man, what a mess!*

Ranma walked out the high school gate behind Akane and Nabiki and heaved
a sigh of relief. Without Bitter, Ranma was left to his own resources
during class. The results were far from encouraging. When Ranma wasn't
sleeping during class, he was answering questions incorrectly. The
teacher, wanting to stimulate the rest of the class, gave Ranma many
complex problems to solve in front of everyone. It was obvious that
Ranma did not have the capacity for what the teacher asked of him.
However, Ranma's failure was seen as a form of rebellion against a class
he found too easy.

After all, the teacher thought, how could a student solve differential
equations one day and not be able to do long division the next?

<Guardian> *I told you to pay attention...*

<Ranma> *I don't need to hear it right now! Bitter? Bitter! BITTER!*

<Bitter> *What?*

<Ranma> *Finally decide to come out, huh?*

<Bitter> *It's hard to concentrate with you yelling like that.*

<Ranma> *What do you need to conentrate FOR?! It wasn't like you were
doing much during class!*

<Bitter> *...*

<Ranma> *Just wait until the NEXT time you want to show off! I'm
gonna-*

<Guardian> *Ranma? Shut up.*

<Ranma> *What do you want from me? I looked like an idiot today! My
teacher thinks that I disrespect him or am being overly smug about what
he's teaching. My classmates think I'm acting like a class clown!
What-*

<Guardian> *Most of that was _your_ fault. You could have _tried_ to
stay awake during class. You can't blame this on Bitter.*

<Ranma> *What about all that stuff he did yesterday? The teacher is
gonna expect ME to be that smart! AND I'M NOT! So Bitter? If you
wanna help, do, if not, stay the hell buried for as long as you WANT!*

<Bitter> *...*

<Bitter> *I'm...*

<Guardian> *yes?*

<Bitter> *Well...*

<Guardian> *Go on.*

<Bitter> *Oh, you know...*

<Guardian> *What?*

<Bitter> *I'm sorry! THERE! I said it? Satisfied?*

<Ranma> *sigh... Bitter, what was this all about, anyway?*

<Play> *It's about NABIKI! Duh!*

<Ranma> *Bitter?*

<Bitter> *Look, I'm not as strong as you, not as agile, and I'm no
warrior... All I have is an intellect. Something the REST of you are
sorely missing. I guess, I felt kind of inadequet today, on the fence.*

<Guardian> *Bitter, everyone has strengths and weaknesses, even US.
But one advantage we have over everyone else in this world is that we
work TOGETHER as a TEAM. If we don't do that, the whole tribe is in
danger.*

<Bitter> *I know, I know... It won't happen again.*

<Ranma> *Man, I'm tired... hey Bitter, you wanna walk for a while? Ask
Nabiki about Akane's fight this morning.*

Ranma ducked under and Bitter took control.

"Uh... Sorry I had to miss you guys this morning, how did the fight go?
Was Kuno able to show up?" Ranma/Bitter asked.

Akane's face darkened and she quickened her pace. Ranma/Bitter took the
opportunity to walk up to Nabiki.

"Things didn't go well, I take it?"

Nabiki glanced at Ranma and said neutrally, "I heard you had a tough
time in class today... Things so easy for you that had to make fun of
class?"

<Ranma> *See! I told you!*

Ranma/Bitter grimaced and said, "Nothing like that Nabiki, I guess... I
just wasn't myself today."

<Lyric> *HAHAHAHA...*

<Play> *Heh. That's putting it mildly. Ranma's as dumb as a post when
it comes to school!*

<Ranma> *HEY! Like you could do better...*

<Lyric> *Bittttarrrrr is Betttaaarrr...*

"Did it have anything to do with the guy you ran into this morning?"
Nabiki asked.

"Uh.. YEAH! That was it! He is... WAS one of my father's students...
and, well, I think I'm going to be fight him soon."

Nabiki looked at Ranma/Bitter questioningly and Ranma briefly took
control to tell Nabiki what had happened; then he ducked back under.

"Woah. I can see where something like that can break your
concentration."

"Yeah... but that's _my_ problem. What _did_ happen this morning?"
Ranma/Bitter asked.

<Ranma> *"That's _my_ problem!" he says. Sheesh!*

This time it was Nabiki's turn to grimace.

"All those idiots gave up on fighting Akane."

<Ranma> *WHAT? Why?*

"Uh, why? What happened?"

"They saw what you did to Kuno and decided to accept your "engagement"
to Akane."

<Guardian> *This explains why she's so mad.*

<Ranma> *I thought she'd be happy about not having to fight anymore...*

<Play> *Yeah, but everyone believes she's engaged to YOU... giggle...*

"But...we're NOT ENGAGED!" Ranma/Bitter exclaimed.

"Everyone THINKS you are, Ranma-kun..." Nabiki said softly.

Then, she hurried after Akane, leaving Ranma/Bitter walking alone.

<Bitter> *Ranma... You'd BETTER fix this!*

<Ranma> *How? YOUR the smart one remember? WHO was gonna handle the
mental challenges?*

<Bitter> *This isn't an intellectual exercise you idiot! This is a
serious emotional crisis!*

<Play> *Then you're BOTH poorly equipped to deal with it!*

<Lyric> *HA HA...*

<Ranma> *What's the big deal? We're not gonna marry ANYONE. It'll
blow over soon...*

<Bitter> *Perhaps Guardian can-*

<Guardian> *Oh no! You leave ME out of this! I warned the BOTH of
about something like this. I'm not going to complicate the situation...
Ranma's right, give it some time and things might fix themselves.*

<Bitter> *Might? Since when did YOU become so apathetic about such
matters? That should be MY job.*

<Guardian> *That's right, it SHOULD. Besides, my ONLY concern is the
welfare of the tribe... I can't afford to deal with the emotional
roller coaster of infatuation and unrequited love!*

<Bitter> *You cold-hearted B-*

<Shade> *ENOUGH*

Bitter and Guardian quieted down, and Ranma took control again.

"Look, fighting among ourselves is not going to get us anywhere...
We'll deal with things one day at a time, as always." Ranma said aloud.

<Watcher> *AMAZON!*

Suddenly, Ranma was tackle-hugged to the ground. Ranma's first reaction
was to attack, but since Shade had not tried to take control, he really
didn't see much danger in the situation. He winced at the pain from the
fall and looked at the person who had "attacked" him. He was surprised
to see a person who he recognized.

"Shampoo! What are you doing in Japan?"

<Bitter> *Uh... Not that I mind, but shouldn't she be trying to kill us
now?*

"Xian Pu follow Husband." she replied simply.

<Guardian> *Oh dear...*

"Uh.. well, you can GET off now..." Ranma said.

"Hmmm... Xian Pu VERY comfortable." She purred.

<Play> *I can get used to this....*

<Guardian> *DO something, RANMA.*

<Ranma> *Er, right.*

Ranma gently, but firmly, disenaged Shampoo's arms from around him and
stood up.

"Now then... You followed me all the way from China? Why?"

"Airen! You are Xian Pu's husband. Of course I follow. There is
nothing for Xian Pu in village... nothing, after Husband defeat Great
Grandmother..."

<Bitter> *Damn, she's smart. She picked up Japanese pretty quick for a
bimbo.*

<Play> *Well, I like her. Besides it's RANMA'S fault she's here.
Doesn't that make her our responsibility?*

<Bitter> *YOU? Feeling RESPONSIBLE? That's a laugh!*

<Guardian> *Play, you just want her to hug us again...*

<Play> *I wanna do a whole lot more than HUG!*

<Ranma> *Enough! But Play does have a point... It is my fault she's
here...*

<Bitter> *How do you figure that? It was that stupid amazon law of
her's that caused this supposed 'marriage'! And lets not forget the Old
Ghoul who tried to kill us when we left! We can't take responsiblity
for this one; we have enough problems to deal with as it is!*

"Shampoo?"

"Yes Husband?"

Ranma winced, "Please Shampoo, call me Ranma..."

"Ran...ma... Is good, yes?"

"Right Shampoo, Ranma."

"Hmmm..." She purred again as she glomped onto Ranma's arm and buried
her head in his shoulder.

"Uh... Come on Shampoo. We'd better go home.."

<Guardian> *This is NOT a good idea!*

<Play> *Let me out! Let me out!*

<Guardian> *ABSOLUTELY NOT!*

<Play> *I'll be good! I promise!*

<Bitter> *Right, sure, uh-uh...*

<Play> *I wanna PLAY!!!!!*

<Ranma> *You ARE Play.*

<Play> *...*

<Play> *sniff...*

<Ranma> *oh man, don't start this...*

<Play> *sniff... you... you...*

<Ranma> *Play...*

<Guardian> *Don't fall for this Ranma, know it's an act!*

<Play> *sniff.. You never let me out... I never get to have fun...
sniff..*

<Ranma> *Come on Play, I'll let you out later, OK?*

<Play> *WAAAAAH! WAAAAAAH! sniff.... WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!*

<Ranma> *OK OK OK! You can come out NOW! Just stop crying!*

<Guardian> *RANMA!*

<Play> *You really mean it, Ranma?*

<Bitter> *Those tears stopped in a hurry...*

<Ranma> *Yeah, I mean it. No funny business, understand? You pull any
of your tricks and I'll yank you back so hard-*

<Play> *OK! I said I'd be good! Let me out!*

Ranma ducked under and let Play take control.

<Guardian> *This was a baaaad idea...*

Xian Pu, meanwhile, had been feeling a bit sad. As she held on to her
"Husband" she could feel the tension and stiffness in his posture. For
some reason, he didn't seem to like her; he didn't want to return her
affections. She was tempted to just grab him by the face and kiss him
into insensibility, but decided that such actions might scare him more
than anything. *Airen need learn to relax...* she thought to herself.

Then, for seemingly no reason at all, she felt Ranma relax and he seemed
to push against her, ever so slightly. She could also feel the tension
drain from his body. She smiled and squeezed his arm a bit tighter,
slowing down the pace of her walk. Ranma/Play slowed down with her and
gently disengaged his hand from her's. Xian Pu frowned and looked at
Ranma questioningly.

Ranma/Play smiled and put his arm across Xian Pu's shoulders and pulled
her closer to him. She sighed in contentment as she leaned into Ranma's
masculine body.

<Ranma> *Play, What the hell are you doing?*

<Play> *Hey, I'm not doing anything bad! I'm just.... being friendly.*

<Guardian> *Well, see that you don't get any MORE 'friendly'!*

<Play> *Spoiled sport.*

Ranma/Play walked the rest of the way home with Xian Pu in tow. It was
Ranma's constant stream of threats that kept Play from making any kind
of premeptory moves on the Amazon. As they finally reached the Saotome
home, Ranma took control once again. He removed his hand from around
Xian Pu's shoulder and led her into the house.

"Okasan? I'm home... and I, uh... brought a guest." Ranma called out.

Nodoka walked out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on towel and smiled
at Ranma, then turned a questioning gaze towards Xian Pu.

"Oksan, this is _Shampoo_. You know, that _girl_ from the _Amazon_
village in _China_?"

<Bitter> *Ranma, you're about as subtle as a wild horse.*

Understanding dawned on Nodoka immediately.

"Ah... I see."

"Yeah, she literally ran into me today on my way home from school."

"You Airen's mother?" Shampoo asked Nodoka.

"Yes dear, I suppose I am." Nodoka replied with a sigh.

"Aiya! Shampoo is very happy to meet Mother-in-Law!"

"Mother-in-law?" Nodoka turned towards Ranma with a surprised smile on
her face.

"What have you been doing today, Ranma-chan?" she asked.

<Bitter> *Ha Ha... very funny.*

<Play> *Weren't you the one you said that we should laugh at
ourselves?*

<Bitter> *That only counts in humorous situations!*

"I think we'd better sit down... we got a lot to talk about." Ranma
pointed out.

**************************************

Ranma stretched out his arms and yawned as he finally laid down in his
futon.

<Ranma> *Man it sure was a long day...*

<Bitter> *Get used to it.*

<Play> *I still don't see why Shampoo couldn't sleep with us...*

<Guardian> *Forget it Play, we can't explain it to you and you really
don't want to understand anyway.*

After discussing Xian Pu's current situation with Genma, Nodoka decided
to allow the girl to live in their household for the time being. She
really couldn't throw the poor girl out on the street. Xian Pu,
however, wanted to take things a bit further and sleep in Ranma's room;
in his bed. Nodoka let Xian Pu know in no uncertain terms what she
thought of THAT idea.

<Guardian> *We're lucky to have Mother with us...*

<Bitter> *_I_ certainly wouldn't want to cross her!*

<Ranma> *All right everyone, let's get some sleep. We're all
exhausted.*

Soon, one by one, all the members of the tribe drifted off into sleep.
All, that is, except for the Watcher; she never slept. Instead, she
stayed awake 24-hours a day, 7-days a week, just waiting for trouble to
occur. She never spoke unless to give warning. She was a paranoid
being who never wanted to draw attention to herself. Because of this,
none of the other tribe members knew of her current agitation.

Twice now, she had failed to notice Ryoga's presence. Ranma and
Guardian had noticed this fact and had been a bit concerned. The
Watcher's concern, however, was a hundred times more intense. For the
first time in her life, someone was able to sneak up on her.

Naturally, it was at about this time that Ryoga snuck into Ranma's room
while looking for Genma. *Damn! This isn't it either! Well, at least
I finally got out of the kitchen.* Ryoga thought to himself as he
looked at Ranma's sleeping form. He considered leaving, but then
decided to wake up Ranma and just ASK him where Genma was. *Better then
getting lost in the house again, besides, maybe Ranma's come to his
senses by now.* Ryoga was the strongest and best martial artist he
knew. Although Genma had caused him a great deal of grief, he was also
a very talented and sneaky marital artist. These learned skills coupled
with his natural strength gave Ryoga a somewhat logical sense of
superiority and confidence.

"Hey, Ranma! Wake up!" Ryoga whispered.

Ranma just snored.

"Ranma, wake up!" Ryoga whispered again, a little louder.

Ranma continued to snore.

"RANMA! WAKE UP!" Ryoga yelled, his fist flying towards Ranma's face.

Ranma's eyes snapped open and Shade caught Ryoga's fist in vice-like
grip. Ryoga pulled back his hand in surprise and gave Ranma a toothy
grin.

"You're not half bad, Saotome... That almost hurt." Ryoga said, gently
rubbing his wrist.

Ranma/Shade wordless stood up and faced Ryoga.

"OK, Ranma, where's the old man? Speak up!" Ryoga demanded.

Ranma/Shade wordlessly assumed a fighting stance.

"You want to make this difficult, eh?" Ryoga said as thunder started
rumbling outside the house.

Ryoga took a short step towards Ranma and launched his fist towards
Ranma's face. Ranma/Shade easily grabbed Ryoga's fore arm and threw
Ryoga through the only window in the room. Now, the Saotome home is not
a large one, but it IS a two story house, and Ranma's room was on the
second story.

As soon as Ryoga flew through the window, and the immediate threat was
gone, Shade ducked under and woke Ranma who then took control. Ranma
stifled a confused yawn as he quickly ran to the window. Ryoga was
standing on the ground, an open umbrella in one hand. Ranma grinned and
jumped out the window towards Ryoga. At this point, it started to rain
rather heavily and Ranma transformed into a girl.

"What- Oh... so you DID fall into a spring... Heh... What a CUTE girl
you are!" Ryoga said smirking.

"Oh? And what to you turn into?" Ranma-chan asked

Ryoga frowned and said, "That's none of your business! Just shut up and
fight. I was gonna kill the old man, but that would be too easy! I'll
go after you instead! PREPARE TO DIE RANMA!"

Ryoga charged towards Ranma-chan, his free hand striking out once again.
Ranma-chan ducked the punch and swept Ryoga's legs out from under him.
The ground was slippery and wet and Ryoga easily lost his footing. Just
as he was about to fall, he launched the umbrella at Ranma. Ryoga was
too close and the umbrella was moving too fast for Ranma to dodge.
Instead she just turned to the side and blocked the Umbrella with her
left forearm.

<Ranma> *Ouch... Damn! That thing hurts!*

<Bitter> *Yawn... You're going to feel that one in the morning.*

Ranma quickly turned back to where Ryoga was standing, but he was gone.
In his place stood a small, black, ANGRY cat. The cat wore a bandana
around it's neck was hissing and meowing ferociously at Ranma-chan.

"C-C-C-C-Cat!!!!!!" Ranma-chan screamed; right before she and the rest
of the tribe blacked out.

****************************
The End Part 9
******************

Ryoga is coming out a bit meaner than I orignially intended, but perhaps
that will change.

Next Time:

Uh... actually, I don't have my outline in front of me right now and the
only thing I remember is that Ukyou is coming back and that Shampoo
meets Ranma-chan.

Bye for now!

Namaste

-anand