[FanFic][Ranma/XOver] Retake, chapters 19-20 + omake

[Gregg Sharp]

Retake chapter 19 "Bases Loaded"

DISCLAIMER: some char and places by other authors. Rest of this mess by
Gregg Sharp.

At Furinkan Senior High School, at Juuban Middle School, at Mugen Gakuen, at
a certain base under Furinkan - tension was rising.

That was because after the past few days, nothing strange had happened -
which was itself strange.

So everyone was waiting for disaster to hit. Tatewaki Kuno hadn't been seen
since getting a full power blast from the ginzuishou had caused him to fall
over. The nice young men in the clean white coats had come to take him away.
(Ha Ha.)

Oh, *some* things were different.

Ranma was sneezing a lot and mumbling about "damn uncute sorceresses" for
some reason.

Yuka had parked her motoslave on the top of the clock tower and had had to
be paged to move it.

Still, those were insufficient and nerves were fraying by the time school
let out because they all had realized they'd been getting used to
*something* happening daily.

"THERE'S A MONSTER IN JUUBAN!"

Which was why so many people greeted this news with relief.

--------

At least until the Senshi arrived on the scene.

This time they'd done things a bit differently. Instead of charging blindly
in, they had chosen to approach slowly and gather information. (You can
guess whose idea that was.)

Sailor Moon's reaction was perhaps typical of young magical girls confronted
with this sort of thing. "No. Please... no."

"Big," said Sailor Jupiter.

Sailor Mercury clicked her visor on. "902 feet tall. Oh dear."

"KrrrrreeeeeeeeEEEEAGH"

Sailor Uranus looked appropriately disgusted. "Those aren't hairs are they?
Those are tentacles."

Brief silence.

"We're Middle School Japanese girls. That's a tentacle monster. Ain't going
near it," summed up Sailor Venus.

"C'mon, we can do it," said Uranus with uncertainty in her voice.

"Yeah," said Jupiter not sounding at all convinced herself.

"THAT big?!" Venus indicated. "My Crescent Beam isn't gonna bust a pimple on
something that size!"

The Senshi looked over at that mound of writhing "hair" 902 feet tall.

"Maybe we can get that 'fire support' on this one?" Jupiter suggested.

---------

Nabiki gently glided to the roof of the building and dropped Akane before
she turned to survey the monster. Conclusion: big sucker.

"Wind, crimson flame,
Grant the power of thunder to my hand!
DIGU VOLT!"

Lightning flared from Nabiki's outstretched palm to score the monster's
hide. Not very effectively, but even Akane managed to look impressed.

"East winds that blow,
Have you as their source,
Into my hands,
Ignite all their force!
FLARE ARROW!"

"Maybe something with a bigger boom," suggested Akane as this spell also
seemed too small to be effective.

"Lina didn't think I could do this in this world, so let me try-" Nabiki
began making the movements.

"Darkness beyond twilight,
Crimson beyond blood that flows,
buried in the stream of time,
that's where your power grows!
DRAGON SLAVE!"

Nothing happened. Since Shabranigdo didn't exist in this world, neither
would a spell invoking him, even if Nabiki had gotten it right.

"I don't think it worked," observed Akane.

"True," admitted Nabiki. "I don't think I've got a spell strong enough to
hurt something that size."

"Oh well, maybe the Senshi will do better," said Akane, taking a seat to
watch things develop.

"There are news crews out, they'd better," agreed Nabiki.

-------

"Well, there *is* a way we can fight that," pointed out Setsuna.

"How? And why haven't you transformed to Sailor Pluto or do you think you
can fight that as a catgirl?!" Sailor Uranus didn't really like this.
Getting close into a fight with *that* she liked even less though.

"Not quite. I think those Guardians Fess provided are what this situation
requires. Ami, you joined us last night. Hotaru, are you ready?"

Sailor Mercury transformed back to Ami Mizuno. She tapped a bracelet
thoughtfully and nodded. Not how she would have preferred breaking the news.

The other Senshi stared for a moment at the bracelet on Ami's wrist.

"They got Ami-chan too, it's like 'Invasion Of The Body Smackers'," said
Venus. "Stripped and helpless as... actually you weren't exactly helpless
when you belted me yesterday were you?"

Various winces as the memories of being under that kid's control versus the
short precise violence of catgirls Saturn and Pluto the previous day.

Setsuna touched one of her ball-shaped earrings and the two pieces of
jewelry blurred and seemed to pour like liquid to form a similar one on her
own wrist just visible underneath the cuffs of her maid outfit. Hotaru
looked pleased as could be as she revealed her own bracelet similar to the
others.

"And *how*," demanded Rei with a gesture towards the size huge monster
currently making its way through Tokyo, "exactly is some kind of
transforming jewelry going to help us against *that*?!"

Hotaru held her bracelet up and it started glowing. Electric guitars began
playing fast and furious with a driving beat behind them from absolutely no
source that the Senshi could see. "Senshi Gear ON!" (Vrrrrrreeeeeeeeee!)

"Break through the mundane world,
Embrace love
and know the strength of heart!
Soldiers rise,
to fight again,
Now it's time to do our part!"

As the vocals started, Ami and Setsuna had raised their own bracelets and
those had begun shining as well. "Senshi Gear ON!"
(Vrrrrrreeeeeeeeee!)(Vrrrrrreeeeeeeeee!)

"We are the soldiers of love,
We strike for truth and happiness,
Those who fight for love,
Strike a blow against loneliness!"

Ami, Hotaru, and Setsuna vanished in columns of light. (Blue, violet, and
dark emerald respectively.)

"Soldiers unite,
Fighting for truth,
Fighting for love,
Soldiers of light,
Beyond and above!"

The Sailor Senshi *gaped* at what appeared in the air above them as the
music turned to near maniac guitar playing. As for the utter lameness of the
lyrics, well, that was in genre too.

"Blue Dolphin, ONLINE!" Somehow giving the impression of crashing waves
behind it, the dolphin shaped flying giant robot piroutted.

"Violet Dragonfly, READY!" The darting giant robot posed, giving the
impression of a vast storm behind it.

"Jade Owl... standing by." The giant robotic owl posed with the impression
of a misty woods behind it.

"..." Sailor Venus tried to get her mouth working again. "They have giant
robots?! We stay the Sailor Senshi and we get tiara frisbee action, and
*they* get giant robots?!"

"Well, technically, only Sailor Moon can perform a 'Moon Tiara Action',
and..." Artemis trailed off as he considered a better way of putting this.

"They have sacrificed their freedom to become mindless sexslaves," insisted
Luna. "We must break them free of this evil mind control!"

"They don't *act* mindless," grumbled Venus, "or like 'sexslaves.' This
exhales."

"Rurrrraaghhhhhh," said the giant monster as it leapt into the air.

"That is, *after* they've defeated that giant youma," appended Luna,
ignoring Venus.

-------

"Scanning," said Ami aboard Blue Dolphin, using the sensitive sonar and
sensor systems aboard her ship to get a better picture of their opponent.
"Relaying targetting data to your systems."

Aboard Violet Dragonfly, Hotaru nodded. Ami had the superior sensors. Jade
Owl had that ability to open teleportative Gates. Her own ship was the
nimble and speedy ship. Not much punch, but the most manueverable of the
Guardian Robots. "Jade Owl, I'll distract. You and Dolphin attack."

Split screen to show all three. "Roger!"

-------

Watching the darting swift shape of Hotaru's ship dodge everything the giant
monster could throw at it while the other two manuevered into position,
Artemis could only wonder one thing aloud. "Do you suppose that their maid
or bunnygirl costumes give them any special attacks they lack in their
sailor costumes?" That he'd really like to see Hotaru in that bunny costume
or Setsuna in that maid costume or Setsuna AND Hotaru as catgirls again was
not even a consideration for Artemis. He was just professionally curious as
an advisor to the Senshi. Really. Cross his heart.

Luna groaned and considered beating her head against a wall as it was
obvious that Artemis' head was in the gutter again.

"'Sonic Cannon', huh?" Sailor Venus sat back and watched while munching on
popcorn supplied by a Maid unit who had just arrived. "Ami's got a major
attack there. Ooooh, *that* has to hurt. What do you suppose that's called?"

"Looks like the wing feathers can cut pretty well," admitted Sailor Jupiter.
Not envious in the slightest. Nope. Not her.

Luna looked around. Sailor Moon was paying attention mainly to the bucket of
popcorn that Sailor Venus was munching on. Sailor Venus looked tempted, so
did Sailor Jupiter. Sailor Mars was glaring at Sailor Moon. Tuxedo Kamen
looked disgusted at the battle being raged overhead. Clearly the evil dragon
had to be stopped!

--------

"Dolphin! Full power to sonic cannon!" Ami locked her feed onto the magical
locus. "Owl, use your feather missiles."

Glowing blue, the dolphin-mecha pointed its snout at the monster. The air
shimmered as its sonic attack targetted weak spots.

"Jade Owl, using missiles," said Setsuna. Feathers slashed tentacles from
the main mass.

Hotaru piloted the Violet Dragonfly in a darting and weaving aerial ballet.
"Tail lasers. On."

-------

Lawn chairs had been provided. Some of the Senshi were taking advantage of
these to watch the battle.

"Come on! Are we going to let these betrayers and some lookalikes fight our
battles?" Sailor Uranus pointed to the tentacle monster.

"Uhm, Uranus-san?" Sailor Mars took a rice cracker from one of the
marionettes and indicated the battle. "Venus has a point. We're young girls
in short costumes. That's a tentacle monster. Do we *really* have to go
there?"

"Not gunna do it," sang Sailor Venus. "Not stupid, not expendable, not
going. This isn't the light of the charge brigade, you know."

Luna's back arched. "I used that hypnotic attack to wake you up from that
illusion. You know the dragon can't be a *real* prince."

"That wasn't what you'd originally thought," pointed out Mamoru. "You
thought he might have been from a bastard line."

"Forget what I said! That was then, this is now!" Luna glared at everyone,
her yellow moon begin to shine. "There are enemies to the Moon Kingdom. Why
are you consorting with them!"

---------

There was a cracking noise as the tentacle monster vanished.

"That was some kind of teleport effect," announced Ami. "It's still alive,
just gone off to lick its wounds."

"Civilian casualties:0, Property damage after our arrival: minimal,"
announced Jade Owl's pilot. "Sending mecha back to storage."

Another swirl of lights and the three part-time Senshi materialized in front
of the full-timers.

"Well, that was certainly-" began Ami, feeling really good about her
performance. Maybe she could use Blue Dolphin in some noncombat role in the
future since it was capable of acting as submarine or spaceship at need.

"World Shaking!" "Deep Submerge!"

Hotaru blinked a moment before the two attacks slammed into her.

"Fire Soul!" "Thunder Crash!"

Setsuna was just beginning to shift to catgirl when she was knocked
sprawling.

"Sorry, Ami-chan. Moon Tiara Action!" "Crescent Beam!"

Ami shifted fully into catgirl and leapt above the tiara, then rolled below
the Crescent Beam. "But why?!"

"World Shaking!" "Deep Submerge!" "Fire Soul!" "Thunder Crash!" "Moon Tiara
Action!" "Crescent Beam!"

"This is for your own good," Luna said as Ami dodged almost all of the
attacks. Almost not quite doing it in these circumstances. "Now we can-"

A number of Sailor Marionettes leapt down, having armored up in the
meantime.

------

A display showed events going on elsewhere. Actually, a lot of displays
since the newscameras had found the Senshi and had been waiting for another
strip scene.

"Hotaru?" Greylle was quite alarmed to see the usual 'Uranus & Neptune
shooting allies' scene followed by the rest of the Senshi.

"My goodness," said Cologne, "they appear to be tiring. What do you think-?"
Cologne realized that the boy had just run off at full speed.

Greylle spoke into a handheld commlink, his voice going out over the
intercom. "We have a Dark Taint advisory. It looks like the Senshi have been
taken over by this new enemy and they're attacking allies. Authorizing a
full scramble of all units and allied forces. Scramble now."

Sirens began blaring. Red lights began flashing. Silos and ramps opened up.

------

It was lovingly recorded by News-5 already on the scene. Action 9 News sent
their helicopter to orbit the area. Supermodels (androids) worked crowd
control. Nabiki used her magical skills and contacts to have T-shirts and
Mugs hawked at "bargain prices" - because if she was going to go out of
business she wanted it to be with a real bang.

Akane, being extraordinarily photogenic, was interviewed by four different
(late to the field) news agencies. She went into a great deal of detail
about this all being late effects of their magical enslavement, and that
this was more proof that perverts needed to be pounded.

A little old man saw all the short skirts and tight outfits and was reduced
to drooling in front of the Tendo television set.

The battle was not *quite* what anyone expected.

"WAAGGGHHHH!" Sailor Moon was wailing because she had been hogtied in her
own pigtails.

Sailor Uranus had gone hand-to-hand with Sabre Jupiter. Sailor Uranus was
currently taking a nap on the very rooftop the News-5 crew were on. Sailor
Neptune had tried to surround Sabre Jupiter with water in the hopes of
shorting her out. Sabre Jupiter had replied by hugging Sailor Neptune and
sending 50,000 volts through the water surrounding them. Sabre Jupiter's
armor needed all of its fuses replaced, and Sailor Neptune was being given
life support by Sabre Mercury and some nurse-marionettes because that had
turned out to be a bit too much.

Luna was dealing with something called a Goo Cannon. The device shot about a
gallon of slimy goo that quickly hardened to something along the consistancy
of bubble gum. Sailor Venus had ducked and, well, Luna was currently stuck
to the side of a building.

Sailor Venus was holding her own so far, mainly by dodging everything sent
her way and acting like she was in some blind panic.

A problem the marionettes were running into was that most of their attacks
were too deadly to use here. They had disagreements with the Senshi, not a
desire to kill/seriously wound.

Sailor Uranus woke up, leapt and climbed until she was at ground level, and
slowly crossed the battlezone, transforming back to Haruka Ten'ou so that
she'd look more "normal crowd." A large crowd seemed to be focussed on other
things, so she felt she had a reasonable chance of pulling this off.
Finally she found a large hunk of wood and crossed to the unconscious
Hotaru. "I'm sorry about this. But the Sailor of Destruction being some
boy's slave is entirely too dangerous."

The wood started down, point aiming for a vulnerable neck. A hand grabbed
the spike and stopped it.

Greylle glared at Haruka Ten'ou. Haruka changed back to Sailor Uranus,
figuring this was her chance to draw the Space Sword and end this evil at
its source.

"For the past ten lifetimes or so, you've had this coming." *WHACK!*

The Space Sword landed on the pavement after Sailor Uranus was backhanded.

"I'll give you till tomorrow to heal and prepare yourself, Uranus. You. Me.
Nabiki will give you directions to the campsite. We're going to have this
out once and for all." Greylle gathered Hotaru's tiny form in his arms.

Sailor Uranus spat blood, aware that everyone was watching now. "Fine. When
I win, you relinquish all hold you have over all Senshi and dismantle your
operations."

"Okay," said Greylle, considering just throwing the fight briefly. "And what
of *your* conditions should you lose?"

"I won't lose," began Uranus. A martial arts fight? Against her in Senshi
mode? If he even survived it would be a miracle but his forces would be now
bound by his word. "If you win *I'll* join your little harem."

Greylle winced. "Why would I want *that*?! Yeesh. Uncute tomboy who couldn't
be feminine if the survival of Japan hinged on it. No thank you."

Sailor Uranus twitched. Not that she *tried* to be feminine, more
mysteriously androgynous sort of bishonen.

Seeing that, Greylle turned away with his burden and decided just a little
payback would be okay here. "Heck, even if she can't seem to stabilize her
age for very long, Saturn's much cuter."

Twitch. Twitch. Pride and competitiveness were putting in their two cents
worth.

"Smarter. Sexier when she's over sixteen. LOTS more feminine." He didn't
really like insulting people, but this was sort of praising Hotaru - which
he was a lot more comfortable doing as long as he didn't have to do it in
front of her.

Twitch. Twitch.

A sixteen year old girl whose black hair had purple highlights and was not
nearly as unconscious as she was acting turned pure red and was trying very
hard to continue to play dead and not yell "sempai" while glomping onto her
fiance.

"I'll settle for you getting some therapy, to get your head out of Uranus,"
said Greylle, walking away without apparent concern. "Or for that matter
just your word of honor to never attack my forces again."

Sailor Uranus detransformed, hurting too much and being too tired to
maintain it any longer. What *really* hurt though was that casual dismissal.
And... what was that ambulance doing with Michiru?!

------

Hotaru cracked her eyes open slightly. If she turned cat now, she knew darn
well that she'd be clinging on and would be just a furry little puddle of
affection.

She'd never really had friends before this guy. Never really had anyone
speak praise to her. Now she did and she felt just so very -

Hmmm. Who to invite to the wedding?

-----

A few hours later, Doctor Mizuno helpfully turned the TV on for the bandaged
Michiru Kaioh - now her patient.

"Everyone's talking about the old Sailor Senshi. Are they morons?
Incompetents? Just anal? Our poll line phone number is showing on the screen
for you to call in your opinion. Sailor Senshi: Threat Or Menace? And should
teenage magical girls with devastating attacks be allowed to run loose
committing property damage? Your results later in the program." *click*

Doctor Mizuno tried another channel.

"...more footage of the latest debacle from these younger Sailor Senshi as
they turn on their allies." *click*

"...which is more proof of why these so-called teenage sentai girls need to
be regulated. In my day..." *click*

"Hi there! Boys and girls, do you know what time it is?!" "It's Happy Dino
time!"

Doctor Mizuno nodded. Insipid perhaps. Juvenile certainly. At least it
wouldn't be showing those scenes over and over again. "Oh by the way,
Kaioh-san?"

"Mffff?" Michiru asked through several layers of burn wrap and assorted
bandages. Electrical burns could be quite painful.

"I'm not going to take action against you for the attempt on my daughter's
life. I *am* a doctor, after all."

"Mffff? Mffff!" Michiru tried to explain that they were just going to subdue
the three so that Luna could break them of the mind control. Then she saw
the size of the needle the doctor had. "MFFF!"

"Now, Kaioh-san, don't wiggle so much. If you expose any of your burns to
air before they've had a chance to heal, the sedatives won't do much to help
you," the doctor just squeezed a little dribble of juice from the needle.
Though why Kaioh-san's eyes were crossing as she looked at the parts oiler
was unclear. You leave things like this to maintenence and they'd never get
to oiling that door.

Michiru's eyes crossed as she stared at the Needle From Hell. It looked like
the needle was fit for a caulking gun, almost. To her eyes - this was size
huge.

When the Doctor left, Michiru sighed in deep relief. Then the head nurse
started talking about something called a Barium Enema. Well, that didn't
sound so bad, did it?

-------

"The tentacle beast is off whimpering in a corner," said one of the hentai
sorcerers. "We'll have to use another."

"They just don't make tentacle demons like they used to," complained
another.

After some initial successes, they'd had a failure. Still, it was better
than their track record had been prior to the use of hentai-daimons.

"How about this," suggested a third. "Each of us tries *one* servitor. The
one with the best results becomes the leader of our coven."

"Hmmm. That'll work, there are six of us left, so six different fetishes
empowered." Number Four grinned. "I know just the one and just the target."

"So do I!" Number Five insisted.

"I think this calls for a round of sinister laughter," suggested Six.

"Nah, let's not do that, it sounded pretty silly last time. Let's just do
it," said the first one.

"Motion carried," agreed the second of the sorcerers.

---------

"What happened? Fess!" Greylle wasn't yelling, but he wasn't quite sure what
to make of this newest development.

"She triggered the catgirl change in order to heal faster," said Fess as he
analyzed. "The healing and recovery rate are highest in that form. When she
did, the shock of the injuries pushed her into the equivelant of the
Catfist."

Hotaru merely purred as she curled up in her fiance's lap. Feeling warm and
soft and protected and very very content.

"Okay," said Greylle, absently stroking the girl's fur. If anything the purr
increased in volume and Hotaru snuggled closer. "So why is she-?!"

Fess sounded slightly amused. "I think you'd have to ask her that question
yourself."

Greylle looked down at the catgirl bonelessly slumped across his lap and
wondered exactly why this was so calming. Fur therapy perhaps? Though when
she recovered herself, would Hotaru pull an Akane and get angry about this?

Hotaru lazily opened an eye, wondering why her mate had gotten tense. She
rubbed her head against a convenient chest and silently indicated that he
should resume petting her. Ah! Right behind the ear there. Oh, yessssssss.

--------

Morgana sat down at her lab and fixed the mirror with a glower. "I want
answers."

"Wouldn't we all?" The mirror replied, beginning to glow.

"This boy isn't a god. A white mage, a dragon, and a few other things, but
his power level isn't nearly what it should be for someone using that
crystal. Yet I just watched several videos dealing with 'previous lives' and
his misadventures."

The mirror considered. "What do you know of Asgard?"

"Steel and chrome and perfection, it's better than Elysium if you want an
afterlife where things aren't quite so communal." Morgana considered.
"Though the old Vikings would hardly recognize it if it weren't for the
rainbow bridge."

"You are familiar with the Goddess Relief Office?"

Morgana nodded. "Yes. Bunch of meddlers. They have one hundred filters to
determine who's good enough to get a wish, and then they rarely consider the
harm that could come from granting a 'pure heart' a wish."

"There's also an agency known as the Earth Assistance Hotline that operates
similarly. Then there's the Rival Relief Office."

Morgana considered. "As in 'business rival' like an Infernal counterpart?"

"No. In 1937, a wish was granted to someone who wanted to do good deeds.
This wish caused the agency to be set up." The mirror paused. "The Agency is
a bit of a wildcard. Sometimes filling in for Divine Intervention, or Divine
Justice, or even the Goddess Relief Office. The thing is that it is not
officially part of Heaven, nor of Hell. The operatives have an extremely low
power level compared to other celestial agencies. On the other hand they're
not saddled with bureaucracies."

Morgana smiled. "Understood. Small, mainly independent, prone to flying 'by
the seat of their pants' as it were?"

"Milady has it." The mirror shimmered agreeably. "For example, the one
hundred checkmarks that go into place for a wish from the Goddess Relief
Office. Whereas someone who is mainly good and reasonably trying and in
distress can still qualify for the much less powerful assistance from a
Rival Relief Office operative."

"Ah," said Morgana.

"They also serve as spear carriers and minor functionaries. Conveniently
leaving a door unlocked or a horse's reins loose so that the hero can
escape, or leaving a knife where the princess can find it and sever the
ropes tieing her up before the Dark Lord arrives, or things of that nature."
The mirror began flicking images in rapid succession. "It was a RRO
operative who dropped a hint to Lancelot that England might have worthy
warriors to challenge since France was getting boring. It was an RRO
operative who first crafted me."

"Wait, if this group began in 1937..." Morgana waved it away. "Nonsequential
timeframes?"

"Exactly. Time travel is also involved. Everything involved with the Rival
Relief Office tends to get complicated. He spent quite some time in this
agency until he was disbarred recently."

"I shall have to think about this," mused Morgana. "This may explain a lot."

---------

Nabiki happily sold maps and tickets. Newspeople were notified. She didn't
make much profit, but what she did make was going into her college fund.

It would be a battle far beyond Ranma getting challenged again by Ryouga
Hibiki. Beyond whether Akane would make it another week in her training.

It was more exciting and noteworthy than the tales of the sudden string of
underwear thievery going on. It was more fun than listening to Akane grumble
about not being a supercute superhuman tigergirl, followed by vehement
denials that she'd said anything of the sort.

It was old guard versus new. It was alien prince versus local girl. It was
the short haired blonde exhibitionist versus the new guy with the fancy
mecha.

There were guys that wanted to see the girl win, preferably losing her
seifuku in the process. There were girls who wanted to see the guy win, and
if he lost his shirt - so much the better. There were girls who wanted the
girl to win and prove that girls could kick butt too. There were guys who
wanted the guy to win because they thought this particular girl needed her
butt kicked.

The Sailor Uranus who insisted she was the real and original Sailor Uranus
versus Greylle Shard.

Ranma won, by the way. Some nearly blind Chinese guy wrapped Ryouga in
chains and seemed to confuse him with some sort of hair care product. Nobody
was entirely sure where this plot complication had come from. Ranma was
upset because he had been wiping the floor with Ryouga when someone hijacked
the fight. He had really wanted to get even with Ryouga for leaving him
holding the bag on certain people dying during their fights.

Michiru Kaioh heard some of the odds and statements being made and really
wished that she could have a talk with Haruka.

------

Kasumi and Nabiki and Akane - the three daughters Tendo.

And actually anxious to get home. Akane was sore and weary from hours of
trying to move around in high gravity. Nabiki was concerned with her lack of
progress in the mystic arts. Kasumi just wanted to get back into familiar
environs.

Each was quite preoccupied.

Akane with soreness and the feeling that every muscle and tendon and bone in
her body had been stressed to near breaking. As promised, the martial arts
training she was undergoing would make her far stronger. Also as promised,
it hurt.

Nabiki was preoccupied with thoughts of the coming battle alternating with
ideas on how to best stop the next menace if the Senshi couldn't or wouldn't
handle it. She didn't want to alienate the Senshi nor the dragon and finding
a way to remain in the good graces of both without allying with either was
taking some effort.

Kasumi wondered what would be left of their home after several days of her
father being the housekeeper. Entering the front gate seemed to indicate
that it would be fairly messy just from the small stack of "Top Ramen"
containers near the door.

"Sweeeet-oh!"

Akane realized there was something latched onto her front. "EEEEK! Letgo!"
She also realized she was too dang tired to react as much as she might
normally.

"Oh and even better! Hotcha!"

"Oh my!" Kasumi found that just because he was an older man didn't mean that
he was more desirable. She really wished she'd been able to get a powerup.
The elegant and powerful Kasumi of her imagination would never have someone
attempting to burrow into her blouse.

"Is it a perverted gnome?" Nabiki asked just before the creature leapt from
her elder sister to herself.

"Check out these babies!" The gnome was quite happy. "B" to "C" to "D" now.
"Hotcha!"

Kasumi saw the first telltale crackle of energy and moved as quickly as
possible for the door. Akane eeeped.

Happosai wondered why he felt as if there were a lightning storm nearby.

Nabiki took a deep breath, smiled slightly, and brought her hands to either
side of the gnome's head. She had not enhanced her own breasts to give her a
more mature look just so that someone could grapple them like he was playing
a crane game. "EXPLOSION ARRAY!"

The front gate vanished. A large segment of ground vanished. Part of the
Tendo residence - vanished. Not quietly though - spreading out from Nabiki
in waves that carried the little gnome away from her though he seemed to
recover and started speeding back towards her. "I don't think so."

"Darkness beyond twilight,
Crimson beyond blood that flows,
Buried in the stream of time,
That's where your power grows,
Those fools who before me stand,
Now punish with the forces we command."

Crimson light flowed all around Nabiki as mystical symbols and diagrams
etched themselves in midair.

Happosai came to the sudden realization he was about to glomp on a girl who
was in the process of releasing a tactical nuke. "Uh oh." Time for one of
those midair screeching brakes manuevers.

Ryouga leapt over the wall, ready to have his revenge on... waitaminute
there was something wrong here.

Nabiki felt the power build up, but there was no Shabranigdo to invoke so
she just went with her first impulse. "GUNS N ROSES!"

------------

"This just in at the Channel 12 Newscenter. Four city blocks in Nerima are
in ruins due to a gas main explosion at the-" the news commentator frowned.
"Excuse me - 'gas main explosion' at the Tendo Dojo? Yeah right. In any case
there are apparently no fatalities however the local hospital *is* at
capacity and other patients are being moved to Juuban General, which has
extra bedspace following the Senshi Striptease Debacle the other day."

"Well, that's one way to get patients," commented the female newsanchor.
"How long before the area is suitable for habitation again?"

Gleaming his expensive teeth to the camera, the talking head nodded. "Well,
Bufi, there's some good news there. Apparently Cyberdyne Corporation-"

"Excuse me Chetu, isn't that the top secret manufacturing installation whose
head is an alien prince but has ties directly to our own Emperor?"

"Right you are, Bufi. Cyberdyne is once again proving their friendship with
the Japanese people, and three of the Tendo daughters in particular, by
rebuilding the entire area using their advanced technologies." Chetu turned
his carefully rehearsed sincere smile to the camera again. "They're
predicting a rebuilt area by midnight."

"That's great news, Chetu!" Bufi agreed with equally sincere acting.
"Hopefully their efforts here won't cut into tomorrow's fight for control of
the Sailor Senshi and Earth's defense forces."

"True, and in the lighter side of the news, there were some arrests at
Kanagawa's hot spring girl's dorm, Hinata House when a young woman was
arrested for throwing a young man in front of a train. The young woman, a
university ronin named Naru Narugesawa, claimed it was an accident but
residents report seeing repeated incidents like this."

"Seems to be happening a lot lately," agreed Bufi. "Next up: those darn
ducks are back!"

=======

Retake: Chapter 20
"Peanuts, Popcorn, Crackerjax."

DISCLAIMER: Neither Bufi nor Chet (Chetu) are real characters. Any
similarity to real characters is unintentional.

-------

"Actually, Greylle," began Fess, "I am unsure how these rumors or stories
made it into circulation. The news seemed to indicate the whole thing was
common knowledge."

Greylle let it go. If it was in public circulation there wasn't much he
could do at this point. "What about the Furinkan area?"

"97% rebuilt, there were some unexpected setbacks," admitted Fess. "The
epicenter particularly is being enhanced."

"Don't go overboard." Greylle pointed to the listing. "Genma will sell off
anything too nice. Or Soun or Happosai will."

"Understood," agreed Fess. "Anything else before you go face your opponent?"

"How's Hotaru anyway?" Greylle asked. "Last night she was still in neko-mode
and slept all curled up at the foot of my bed."

"She was apparently feeling better this morning, though for some reason she
was very reluctant to change back from catgirl." Fess considered how much
detail to go into and decided against it.

"Oh man, she's so cute in this timeline," Greylle said as the picture of
Hotaru came up. "You'd think the boys would be lining up."

Fess would have blinked and sweatdropped if he were capable. "I believe she
has her eye on a particular guy already."

"Oh?" Greylle thought about this between bites of a nutrition bar. "Lucky
guy. See if you can do anything to help her along if he's okay. Just so he's
not some perv or spaz or something, ok?"

"I see," said Fess. Maybe it was something particular to anime universes
that the object of affection was oblivious to it in normal circumstances.
"Very well. I believe she may need some reassurance after her loss of
control earlier as a catgirl. Perhaps if you gave her some reassurance
today?"

"Good idea," agreed Greylle. "Well. Off to the battle!"

Fess let out an electronic sigh and sent a few specific parts of the
conversation to Hotaru. Who for some reason started grinning and walking
into furniture. How very odd. Still, he'd been told to 'help her along' in
the task of getting the guy she had her eye on. Fess wondered how he could
accomplish this best.

------

Sailor Uranus stood near the small stream, looking around. "Did he do a 'no
show' and forfeit?"

"Actually, you're starting at this end of the valley, he's starting at the
other." Catgirl Sakura held up her microphone. "Everyone else, please remain
behind the barricades, force field barriers will automatically engage if the
fight gets intense. Fight is until one party surrenders or is unable to
battle."

"Don't you think this is a bit much?" Uranus gestured at the four football
fields worth of cleared land. "It's just me and that coward going
one-on-one. One thrust with the Space Sword and he'll be history." Silently
she added that he'd also be paying for tempting her and invading her dreams.
She didn't *like* guys, damnit!

"Begin," said Sakura, jumping behind a barricade which lit up with blue
light a moment later.

"Gone gone the form of man," said a voice relayed by radios in the stands.
"Rise again - the dragon!"

That nagging feeling you'd forgotten something abruptly crystallized for
Sailor Uranus. She hadn't remembered he was *that* big. Well, the bigger
they are, the harder they fall, right?

The "big lizard" visible at two miles away, quickly gained altitude and
seemed to stall.

"Perfect shot," said Uranus. "World Shaking!"

The dragon seemed to lazily dodge the attack, the distance giving sufficient
warning to determine where the attack would go and to not be there. He
continued to glide for a few moments, still gaining altitude somehow.
Quickly rising to become a tiny dot in the distance.

"Coward! Come here and face me like a man!" Uranus figured that once he was
in "Space Sword Blaster" range - bam. She turned towards the stands. "Can he
hear me like this?"

"Yes, oh and you might want to pay better attention to the fight," said
Sakura.

"You call this a fight? Hah," said Uranus, turning her attention back to -

*BOOM* Several tons of dragon shot overhead, moving at magically enhanced
speeds of just over Mach 1.

The forcefields flickered slightly brighter as the dust, grass, uprooted
trees, odd bits of garbage, and a Sailor Senshi were caught in the wake and
briefly tumbled about the clearing.

Uranus spit dirt, getting thoroughly pissed and scanning the skies for that
damn dragon. Still, the cameras were on and Michiru would be watching this.
"One good shot does not win the battle. I'll beat the beast yet!" Hmmmmm.
What was that odd beating noise? Uh oh. Slowly she turned.

Hovering briefly, the silver dragon's jaws distended. *FWUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU* A
stream of frost sprayed out, covering dirt and grass and garbage with ice.
Oh. And a Sailor Senshi.

The ice cracked and Sailor Uranus staggered out, still partially coated in
ice. "For Michiru. For Earth. For my Princess." She looked around, finally
spotting a glittering shape arcing up in the skies. Then looping down to
skim near the ground. Even faster this time. Perfect target. "World!
Shaking!"

Uranus smiled tiredly. She'd put everything she'd had into that one. The
golden ball dwindling in the distance, striking the dragon full on and
exploding. Yes. She'd won. It was over. It was-

The dragon emerged from the smoke and debris. Looked pissed too. Hmmmm.

Being a woman of action, Sailor Uranus acted. On being faced with several
tons of a fang-jawed, nasty-clawed, bullet train bearing down on her, she
turned and ran just as fast as she could.

A moment later several tons of dragon slammed into her, imparting enough
momentum that she was embedded in the ground.

There was a brief moment of flailing legs before the dragon landed on her,
and before the assembled host - scooped up the unconscious Senshi and (like
some overgrown dog or cat) laying the defeated at the feet of a girl who had
just come out from behind one of the barricades.

Hotaru hugged her dragon's neck briefly before climbing into place to
straddle where neck met shoulders.

The two then began a victory flight over the arena.

--------

"So, Kaioh-san," asked Doctor Mizuno of her patient, "what of Ten'ou-san's
vow on TV that if he won she'd join his harem?"

Michiru stared at the TV set. "MMFFmmmFFMM." (Haruka no baka.)

Doctor Mizuno went out into the hallway and gave a happy sigh. Most of the
*real* nurses, or human nurses, original nurses? Well most of those who had
been present for that kid's magical attack had transferred out or otherwise
found different venues. So had patients.

When the explosion had occurred, Fess had quietly brought up certain plans.

Over 200 nurses had been produced, literally as they were marionette
androids. They were a bit cold and impersonal at first but they were
learning. Just as a section of Nerima was being rebuilt, so was her
hospital.

Doctor Kumori Mizuno was a dedicated physician and the idea of getting
access to the alien's technology had been gnawing at her since the first
encounter.

Add to that magical healing abilities and some of the other possibilities
glimpsed?

If the boy had been older she'd have tried a more direct approach. If Ami
bungled things it might come to that.

Besides, it *had* been at least ten years.

--------

Haruka Ten'ou slowly came to consciousness. When she realized that she'd
been knocked out, she rolled to her feet and prepared to renew the fight.

The dragon wasn't there. Neither were the stands or the clearing or any of
it. She was currently in a hospital gown, barefoot on a tile floor. A
mummified figure from the other bed glared at her.

"Michiru?!" Haruka recognized those eyes.

"MFFFF!"

"Hold on, I'll get you loose," Haruka said and ignored her own bandages in
order to grab ahold of a large section and pull it loose.

Fresh air poured into electrical burns as bandages and salve were removed
forcibly.

"Urk!" Michiru tried to weather this gracefully.

Haruka looked at the skin. "I guess those are functional bandages and not
some kind of restraint... sorry."

Michiru nodded.

"Well, well, the patient is awake," said a nurse. "If you'll be seated,
Ten'ou-san, since you two are Senshi we've made available means of healing
your injuries faster than would normally be available."

"I've changed my mind," Michiru stated, turning a bit pale at the sight of
her own wounds with a quickly produced hand mirror. "I'll take the fastest
method available."

"Oh," the nurse said. "Then-"

"Yes, I mean *that*," indicated Michiru.

"Fine. Anytime you're ready Kaioh-san." The nurse left.

"Haruka, you plan to join this boy's harem as you claimed on television?"
Michiru wanted to be sure Haruka knew what she was getting into.

"Yeah, and once I've gotten a powerup!" Haruka pumped a fist. "I'll change
sides again and use that enhanced power to destroy them!"

"Haruka, no. We will discuss this later." Michiru winced and was glad her
face was unrecognizable with all the burns. "After you've dealt with the
press."

"The who?" Haruka said before a tide of humanity washed in.

"Excuse me!" "EXcuse me!" "Miss Ten'ou, a word for the viewers?" "Now that
you've revealed your Senshi identity to the world, will the rest of the
younger Senshi follow suit? What of the original Sailor Senshi?" "What does
your boyfriend think of you crossdressing and running around naked on TV?"
"Will you abide by the terms of your wager, Haruka-san?" "Ten'ou-san what of
your emerging image as Shard-san's greatest rival?" "Haruka-chan!"

Michiru merely moved her bandages to better conceal herself, and left when
the stretcher-bed was brought in by a couple of nurses. She'd save Haruka
from herself by demonstrating how dangerous it was.

------

"Any idea of the identity of the ship?" Greylle didn't immediately place the
stylized, almost Aztec looking, winged dragonship.

"It does not match known species you've encountered," asserted Fess.

"Closest tech match-up?" Greylle preferred having *some* handle on what was
coming.

"Gardeners."

Greylle nodded. The Gardeners were a recurrent race in a number of
timelines. Sort of a 24th Century Bedouin culture who regarded themselves as
responsible adults faced with children gone wild in the absence of any
parents. So they took over planets. Good intentions leading to an odd
"utopia" where most of the common problems facing mankind were eradicated.
However their "children" - the conquered planets - never completely regained
their independence.

Gardeners typically had access to technology that Earth normally wouldn't
achieve until the 24th Century. Their technology was a little lopsided, as
one might expect of alien minds. Their materials manufacturing technology
and agrarian technologies were among the most advanced sciences they had.
Computer and communication technology on the other hand was only a
half-century ahead of Earth's.

This at least gave him a handle. Not the natural power of the Swarm, or the
overwhelming technological advantage of the Clarkians.

The Clarkians were called that on those timelines where they intersected
Earth, because their technology was so far advanced that it was
incomprehensible to 20th Century Earth. Wholesale remaking of continents
within seconds was routinely done by Clarkian technology. If he were up
against *that* he'd have already lost.

"Communication?"

Fess hesitated. "We've tried laser coded pulses, radio, TV, high energy
diffuse, subspace packets, and a low level message drone. Nothing. The drone
could not even find an entry port."

"Hmmm. Well, you're already monitoring it. Keep doing that and inform me if
something happens," Greylle said. "Oh have you seen Hotaru?"

---------

Hotaru Tomoe was at her shrine, practicing her duties as a shrine priestess.

Young boys stared at the young girl.

She was glowing. Not in the manner of a Senshi powerup, nor with rage.

Birds flitted down to land on crooked finger and sing at her. Deer, not
normally found inside Tokyo city limits, frolicked on the lawn.

This was enough to get people's attentions. That some of the birds were
really exotic was a bit more interesting.

The glowingly happy shrine miko, sweeping steps, and humming a wedding
march, while small animals and exotic birds darted about in the background?

They were Japanese, the vast majority had cameras and were using them.

Hotaru typically listened to various New Age composers. Right now, she was
thinking of the benefits of Shinto (she *was* a Shinto priestess after all)
versus Western (faster, a lot less uncomfortable, and he *was* a Western
dragon) versus a Civil ceremony.

The sun seemed to pass behind a cloud.

Hotaru winced and addressed the sun. "Can I at least do without the
headress?"

The sun brightened again.

Hotaru sighed. Sometimes being a shrine maiden had extra chores involved.

----

They had just watched an episode of this new TV program named
"Evangelistion" and the Hentai Sorcerers had arranged their tables with
tracklights along the floor and various other "STEELE" references.

"The First Angel is ready," said one.

"They're hentai-daimon, we can't go calling them Angels like that,"
protested one of the others.

"Whatever, release it and we'll see how it does."

"I think we should get one of those giant robot things, that'd be cool."

"Moron."

-----

"There's a youma in Akihabara!" Luna exclaimed over the Sailor
Communicators. "Let's go!"

"Usagi, can you bop that stupid cat?"

"Minako?!"

"I'm tired of this, Luna!" Minako pouted. "We've gotten our butts waxed on
three missions lately! This isn't like facing those youma that Beryl used
either. They're stronger, faster, and they don't bother with draining energy
or something like that. And look at our numbers. We don't have Pluto or
Mercury because that dragon prince has 'em and Saturn, and I'm *not* buying
anything about them being mindless or sexslaves. Neptune is in the hospital.
Uranus gave away her secret identity and got whip-creamed by that dragon.
We're down members and we weren't doing that good before they left."

"We're not doing *that* badly," argued Makoto.

There was a brief silence.

"Okay, maybe we *are* doing that badly," conceded Makoto.

"What's this one do?" Usagi asked, hoping to smooth over the obvious
friction.

"Come on, will you just go face it?" Luna asked the currently reluctant
superheroes.

"I'm in!" Sailor Uranus announced over her communicator. "I'm on my way."

------

Hotaru blinked. There was a monster in Akihabara. She quickly crossed to the
shrine office, pulled on a candlestick holder with a special switch, dropped
down the secret passageway-

"Fess?"

"Yes, Hotaru?"

"Why am I wearing skintight black leather with a mask and dark blue cape?
With a bat symbol on my chest?"

"Oh. Sorry. It appears the test data on the costumes wasn't cleared."

Hotaru nodded and accepted that, checking a mirror for a quick glimpse to
confirm. Yup. Batgirl. Hmmm. Kind of looked kinky. She wondered what her
fiance would say about it. "Any other outfits?"

"Just the Evangelion plug suits."

"Oh," said Hotaru, wondering if that had any better a concealment value.
"Any information on the youma?"

"Errr. Yes. It's kind of strange though."

Hotaru blinked and wondered what could be sufficiently bizarre to register
as "kind of strange" to Fess.

------

"No more sweets!" Moon pleaded, covered in icing.

"Tastee!" The latest of the hentai-daimon proclaimed.

"Waaaaa! How am I supposed to get all this chocolate syrup out of my hair?!"
Moon touched her tongue to the chocolate topping. "Not bad though. Kinda of
a chocolate caramel. AAAAAAAA!"

"Sailor Moon, this is " *thud!*

"WAAAAA! Mamo-chan just slid down the stairs."

Jupiter struggled from where she was bound by donuts. "This does not look
good."

Venus, captured within cake, agreed. "Someone call the androids! We need
back up! I'm too young to be a pastry!"

"You can do it," called out Luna.

*SPLURT!*

"If I were able to move my hands, I'd applaud," said Venus as Luna gained a
layer of maple frosting.

Tastee, who bore a strong resemblence to the droid Marzipan, got ready to
unleash another strong attack. Except there were no other attackers around.
"Tastee?"

"Ah, it's gonna finish us off!" Moon cried. "MMmfff!"

Tastee admired the work of the grapefruit-sized cherry gagging Moon before
she moved on to the next. Soon enough, they *were* finished off. Sort of.

"We're not dead?" Venus realized.

Tastee looked over at the cake from which a Sailor Venus protruded
partially. "What kind of daimon do you think I am?"

"The really kind, gentle, lets-girls-go, kind?" Jupiter asked hopefully.

"I am Tastee, the hentai food daimon!" The daimon posed dramatically. "I'm
not into cannibalism. I'm not a killer. Heck, I'm not even that much into
doing anything hentai. More like food preparation."

The brown frosted Luna fell over.

A large glob of whipped cream slowly moved up the stairs. "Do you mind
letting us go then?"

"After I've defeated the rest of your team, sure," said Tastee, licking her
lips. "Hmmm. Speaking of which, you look kinda tasty yourself sugar."

Tuxedo Mask wiped whipped cream away from his face. "Would it help to tell
you that this *is* our team? Uranus and Neptune are in the hospital. Pluto,
Mercury, and Saturn have broken away from this group."

"Oh." Tastee thought a moment. "Sure, sugar. Let me get the camera. That way
I can prove I did it to my Dark Hentai Master and y'all can get back to
whatever y'all do the rest of the time."

Much blinking. That was it? A coating of sugar products and a slap on the
wrist and the Enemy was just letting them go?

"What about all these other girls?" Mamoru asked, the gesture causing more
whipped cream to slough off his costume.

"They can go too. Y'all can keep the extra pastries and stuff I made for the
inconvenience," said Tastee, readying her camera. "Smile, y'all!"

"NOT SO FAST!"

Many Senshi (and a hidden Artemis) groaned.

"Please, just go back to the hospital," pleaded Tuxedo Mask.

It felt a little odd operating without Neptune, but Uranus was up for the
job. It was a pity those newshounds had followed, but now they would record
her stunning victory!

"Y'all lied to little old me?" Tastee turned a hurt look towards the whipped
cream-and-tuxedo clad male mascot.

"She's *supposed* to be in the hospital," explained Tuxedo Mask.

"World!" Sailor Uranus held her hand up, summoning power. *fizzle*

Sailor Uranus blinked, suddenly feeling very tired and realizing in that
fight with the dragon she *had* thrown everything she had at her opponent.
Leaving her barely able to summon 1/10th of what she normally could.

"Tastee!" The daimon of toppings declared, sending her own attack towards
the lone Senshi.

"Shaking!" Sailor Uranus tried. *SPLURT!*

"She's pink," remarked Venus. "Strawberry frosting?"

"Yeah," said Tastee, looking around. "Okay, who's next?"

"Ms. Youma, you've just defeated the Sailor Senshi, what are your plans
now?" A particularly foolish (or brave) reporter surged forward.

"Uhm," Tastee thought about that briefly. "Oh, I know. I'm going to
Disneyland!"

-------

Hastily, signs were constructed at Tokyo Disneyland.

[No youma allowed.]

-------

Several hentai sorcerers drooled over the pictures.

"Not bad, not bad, but wait till I finish *my* daimon!"

-------

Catgirls Mercury, Pluto, and Saturn listened briefly, then shrugged. Not
much point in them even getting involved.

-------

"Uhm, can we get out now?" Venus asked hopefully.

Tastee thought about it and nodded. "Yeah. At least until I run into some of
those others. I probably ought to face them."

"Okay."

Batgirl dropped down from the ceiling.

"Batgirl?!" Tastee stared. "But I'm supposed to fight the Sailor Senshi."

"Then you shall," said another voice as Pluto and Mercury dropped down.

"TASTEE!" The daimon sent a stream of ice cream at Batgirl. Batgirl rolled
to the side and threw a batarang.

"Watch where you're throwing that," cautioned Tuxedo Mask. "You almost hit
Luna."

"Saturn Ring Toss," tried Saturn/Batgirl.

"Tastee?" Tastee found glowing rings encircling her.

"Do you surrender?" Pluto and Mercury asked, holding attacks ready.

Tastee tried the barrier, found that she couldn't get through, and nodded.
"Okay."

A couple of police officers came over and slapped handcuffs on as soon as
the daimon was freed from the rings.

"She's a very sweet girl," said Batgirl/Sailor Saturn, "it's just that she's
a violent maniac."

The donuts faded away from Jupiter, Venus hit the floor as her cake
disippated. An eclair resolved into Sailor Mars. Everyone else found their
prisons likewise fading away.

"Now who's going to clean this up?"

--------

Minako slowed to a halt. Makoto and Rei noticed, followed her gaze, and also
came to a halt. Usagi and Mamoru got a lot further before they returned to
see what the problem was.

A video store with dirty windows and faded posters, looking every inch the
sort of sleazy dive you'd find in a number of major cities.

"Oh dear kami NO," breathed Rei.

[Sailor V Versus The Tentacle Demon IV]

"Do I want to know?" asked Minako with a tremble in her voice.

"They've been putting those out since the initial appearance of Sailor V in
1989," said a girl nearby.

"Who?" Most of the gazes turned towards the girl were a little glazed over -
as in lost in some private horror.

"In most timelines," explained the girl, "it is the discovery of these
videos and related items that causes Sailor Moon to unleash the ginzuishou
and purify the world."

"You're one of the androids," said Mamoru. "There's more of these?"

"There are at present seventy four different titles of hardcore, forty eight
of softcore, and assorted toy sales." Kirsten being an android who regularly
pooled data with others, had access to quite a lot of data.

"Cute little dolls for girls, right?" Minako asked, her eyes pleading.

"Those too. Sorry." Kirsten shrugged. "From records, as soon as one of you
made a public sighting, a number of these companies immediately started
looking for lookalike 'actresses' and putting these together. Along with the
toys."

"What kind of... toys would they sell in a store like this," came Makoto's
voice. It wasn't really voiced as a question.

Kirsten at first didn't answer. After Minako and Rei asked, she started
listing them off. She paused twice to let the sometimes-Senshi throw up.

"As stated," Kirsten continued, "after repeatedly saving the world, finding
these usually is the push that causes Usagi to become Queen Neo-Serenity and
purify the world - exiling those who resist to Nemesis and creating Crystal
Tokyo."

"We saved the world, we risk our lives, and they..." Minako looked about
ready to run off crying.

"Hey, you dames!" The store owner stepped out. "Either come in or get off da
sidewalk, don't go blockin' my..."

*KA-POWIE!*

Kirsten looked over at Makoto. "You realize that did absolutely no good,
don't you? There are over 387 such stores in Tokyo under nearly as many
owners. The Yakuza own most of the owners. The video and 'adult toy'
manufacturers make too much money for this to have any effect."

Mamoru considered. He had differences with the dragon but there were times
having a high powered ally could come in handy. "Does the dragon know of
this?"

Kirsten cocked her head. "Does he know that this sort of thing provides the
trigger for Crystal Tokyo? Yes. Does he know it happens? Yes. Does he
partake of these videos? No. Fess and Cyberdyne have already stopped the
'Super Doctor Mizuno Versus Rape-man' video, and have applied injunctions
against the catgirl, maid, or civilian likenesses of those under
Shard-sama's banner being used. Since they are listed as employees of
Cyberdyne - Cyberdyne has the legal authority to defend them."

Rei's eyes widened. "No wonder we've got these hentai monsters coming after
us. Whoever has been sending them has been watching things like this for
*three years*?!"

"Not completely," provided Kirsten. "Sailor V has been around the longest.
Then when you vanished, the market disappeared for these things. I was able
to access sales data and it was only after your reappearance that rentals
and sales resumed."

"...eeee..." Minako twitched, her bright and perky shell having developed a
few cracks.

Artemis wondered if he could say ANYTHING that would make a difference at
this point.

"I gotta go," managed Minako. "I... gotta go."

"Maybe you *should* purify the world, Usako," said Mamoru softly.

Kirsten shook her head. "That would require the ginzuishou. Even purifying
this district would be beyond her current capabilities. On the other hand,
if you like, I can request you be allowed on the next Yakuza hunt."

Makoto volunteered so quickly she could barely get the words out
comprehensibly.

-------

"Well, Chetu, this just in at the NewsCenter 12!" The female half of the
anchor was glad that it wasn't another "duck" or other fluff piece. "Seems
the Sailor Senshi have admitted that there is dissent among their ranks and
this is part of the reason for their less than stellar performance of late."

"Yes, Bufi. Details are not forthcoming but Sailor Uranus had this to say
about it:"

The film was of Haruka in her hospital gown. "The dragon cheated. That's all
there is to it. I challenged him to a man-to-man fight. He came as a dragon.
He specified time and place and this clearly gave him an unfair advantage."

Reporter: "What of the stories that you as Haruka Ten'ou have repeatedly
cheated on races in the past?"

Haruka: "Simply rumors spread by men who don't know how to lose gracefully.
Pathetic really."

Reporter2: Is there any truth to the rumors that the younger looking Senshi
are incompetents who are simply trying to force the slightly older group out
of power, a rebellion between the Sailors?"

Haruka: "That's not even worth commenting on. Some of our members have been
tricked by a cheating dragon!"

"Oh my, Chetu, that's quite some facial tick Ten'ou-san has going there."

"Right you are, Bufi. Things got worse after the attack of the daimon Tastee
in Akihabara's new Desserterie. While pink frosting was being chipped off of
her, she had this to say:"

Haruka: "OUCHHHHH! Damn dragon and his harem!"

Bufi shook her head. "That's twice Ten'ou has mentioned a harem. What
exactly is she referring to?"

"Well, Bufi, at first we thought it might be some alien custom, but as near
as we can determine there are currently three people accumulating fiancees
that might be considered developing harems."

RANMA SAOTOME: "No. No how. No way. Not even. Uhm. What's a 'harem?' Uh
huh... WHAT?!" (Thud)

"As you can see, Bufi, just explaining the concept to Mister Saotome caused
him to faint. We ran into the other candidate for harem lord in our parking
lot where he was apparently trying to find a campsite."

RYOUGA HIBIKI: "A what? Uhm. Is that camera on? You're kidding right? This
must be some rumor Saotome started! Arrgghh! Ranma Saotome! You'll pay for
this!"

"Chetu, were those *fangs*?"

"Unfortunately, Bufi, Hibiki charged off right after that. Unfortunately
because four cars in our parking lot were damaged by his run. We're trying
to find the owners."

"..."

"Bufi?"

"I still had twelve payments on that car. Rrrrr. Ryouga Hibiki! You'll pay
for this!"

----

Nabiki set her bracelet off to the side. It had been a pain to find and
remove it, and then get the other two from Kasumi and Shampoo but having
that sort of threat hanging over their heads would not have been good.

The bracelets were old and magical and granted the wearer the lifespan of an
elf. All well and good. They also transformed the wearer into a female elf.
Not so good. Said female elf would be under the control of whoever wore the
command ring.

Which is why the bracelets had been removed and were ready to be consigned
to a wooden box with spirit wards engraved on the surface and given to
Hotaru's shrine.

Nabiki knew darn well *who* had the command ring and was not going to go
there.

----

"Ah, at last I have found you!"

Hotaru blinked from behind the counter of the fortune telling booth of her
shrine. "Oh. You're that skater guy whose name I can never remember."

Sweeping his hair back and posing slightly, the skater looked as bishonen as
he could manage. "The name, my dear, is Mikado Sanzennin. Half of the
infamous Golden Pair of Martial Arts Figureskating. I'm sure you'll be able
to remember me in detail now."

Hotaru finished selling an ema (wooden plaque) to a couple of Middle School
girls. "Hmmm?"

Mikado twitched. "Clearly what's needed is to fashion some favorable
memories, and what I suggest is an evening full of memories that you'll
fondly look back on. Shall we say about eight?"

Hotaru blinked. "What?"

"Oh hi, Hotaru, i..." Greylle paused. Hotaru wasn't falling for Mikado the
Molester was she?

"Sempai!" Hotaru's reaction was to blush and for some reason she was
surrounded by soft lighting with a lot of flowers in the background.

Mikado twitched. A tall and clumsy looking gaijin? Well, he'd broken up
couples before. "I challenge you..."

Not having time for this, Greylle went for the simplest method of dealing
with this Romeo. "Okay." *THWAM!*

The slapstick light was apparently on as Mikado was simply embedded into the
ground like a tent peg. His eyes blinked for a few moments, being suddenly
on ground level.

"Oh, sempai!" Hotaru quickly came around the corner. "Your collar is
crooked." Deft fingers quickly straightened the errant cloth.

There were a few errant snickers and muted comments from the crowd at the
sight.

Mikado offered a mumbled protest that he was a skater, not a step ladder.

Hotaru suddenly realized what they looked like and fled back to the shrine's
booth where the shadows might conceal the resulting blush.

Realizing that Hotaru had stepped on Mikado, Greylle was happy to see Hotaru
grinning and that Mikado wasn't the boy she was fixating on. "Well, I was
just checking up on you, Hotaru-chan. See you a bit later."

-------

"Look," said the girl in the lead, holding up a photo. "That's one of them."

Ranma grumbled to himself. Yet *more* troubles. He was sure Ryouga had
something to do with this. Now... oh crap.

Ranma leapt to the side as a vaccuum blade attack sliced sidewalk where he'd
been a moment ago.

"So, Ranma Saotome, enemy of all women, destroyer of schools, and murderer,
at last we meet."

Ranma looked around quickly. High school girls. Five of them. "You're not
more fiancees are you?"

"We are the school defenders," said one.

"-who strike against evil," continued another.

"-our cause is righteousness," continued a third.

"-to destroy jerks like you," added a fourth.

"We are the Shinsengumi!" The leader pointed at Ranma with her bokken. "Your
butt has just been declared prime kicking area."

Ranma let out a deep breath. "Let me guess. Ryouga."

"Yes, Ryouga Hibiki has spoken of how he is merely an innocent dupe of you
and some wicked dragon!" The leader sneered at Ranma. "And today you will
pay for your crimes against women and society!"

"Uh huh," Ranma said, wondering if he could get back up on this. Fighting
crazy chicks seemed to get him in trouble. Not fighting crazy chicks got him
in trouble. Heck, just *seeing* crazy chicks was probably trouble. Maybe he
should find a monastery somewhere.

"Ryoko Mitsurugi, of the Mitsurugi sword style," said the leader.

"Megumi Momoi, pro wrestling style martial arts," said the second.

"Xiaoxing Huang, shibari style martial arts," said the cute and very young
third of their number.

"Asuka Kuronari," was the one dressed like a ninja.

"Aoi Asahina," was the quiet announcement of the fifth. "Celestial Sword
style."

Ranma wondered how bad it would hurt his reputation to just turn and run.
Probably not as bad as if he stuck around. In which case.

"Ya ain't laying a hand on him," said a voice as a girl with a large spatula
dropped down next to Ranma. "Five on two ain't quite as bad as five-on-one,
right?"

Ranma muttered something unkind as just running away now wasn't a
possibility. Or was it? "Ucchan? On the count of three."

Ukyo nodded and brought her baker's peel to the ready. "Whenever you are,
Ranchan!"

"One two three. Run away!"

Ukyo blinked twice. "Huh? What?" Ukyo glanced over at Ranma only to find the
area empty. "Ranma?" She realized she as in shadow. "...oh crap..."

*Boom!*

"After that pervert!"

-----------

*Zoooooom!*

Shampoo blinked. There went her airen.

"Get him!" *zzzooooom!* "Die Ranma Saotome!"

Shampoo blinked. Five women? Shampoo was curious and looked back where
they'd come from. "AIYAH! Fate has left Shampoo a present! Obstacle is for
marrying off to someone else!"

"MFFFFFF!"

*Clatter clatter thunk thunk thunk.* "Hello, Bingbing Delivery? Shampoo just
love cellphones," said Shampoo to the crate she'd just slapped together and
decorated with "Fresh Tart - You No Open", "Preserve Freshness: Keep
Sealed", and addressed to that little farmhouse she'd visited with those
idiot senshi or whatever they called themselves. "Shampoo glad this close to
store Great Grandmother set up. Will have much fun with airen now that silly
spatula girl find much much happiness with someone else."

Zooooom!* "Outtamyway!"

Shampoo blinked as a small metal cylinder bounced at her feet just moments
after her airen had passed by. "Hmmm?"

*Fsssshhhh!* The cloud of pink smoke erupting from the cannister was less
puzzling.

Megumi noticed the girl, determined it was not the target in one of his
clever disguises, and threw her in the crate and sealed it. That way if this
was another ally of Ranma, she'd be trapped in the crate.

Ten minutes later, Bingbing Deliveries picked up the crate.

-------

Mikado chose his target well. Not a martial artist. Cute and having a very
nice figure. Perfect for his newest target and to regain his groove. "Well,
hello there, such an interesting outfit you have there. My name is Mikado
Sanzennin, and I'm sure it's your pleasure to meet me. Why don't you let me
treat you to a nice lunch while we discuss plans for our date tonight?"

"Freeze Arrow!"

Mikado wondered why he was suddenly encased in ice.

Nabiki shook her head. Yet another pervert. Still, she was beginning to see
why Akane collected them. There was something satisfying in dealing with
them like this. Hmmm. Maybe. "ELMEKION LANCE!" Yup. Definitely satisfying.
Got some good hang time out of that too.

-------

Warnas, evil god of slavery, wondered about this nonsense.

Here he was a god of evil whose philosophical path had long been referred to
as Lawful Evil. He was the god of evolution, empires, and the strong ruling
the weak.

Mercy was not in his lexicon. Forgiveness not an eventuality. When he said
he would do something, he had given his Word and it was as good as done.

If he could bother to pay attention. This was getting irritating enough that
he might actually have to bestir himself.

As an Elder god he could easily tell what had occurred.

Shampoo had taken a crate which had previously been used for Chinese
vegetables and stuffed a bound rival in there and called for a delivery. She
had ended up getting bound and shoved into the crate herself. Which had been
*after* Ranma Saotome had doubled back and hidden in the crate.

"Toltiir, it *has* to be him, otherwise I still wouldn't be getting
visitors." Warnas considered the possibilities. He needed a break. A glance
at the delivery woman and he had an idea.

He was fairly civilized. Nice was not part of the equation.

Erasing them from existence was a possibility. Lacked something though.
Instead he just had them delivered.

With a few changes of course.

--------

She awoke in the dim lighting and immediately rolled to her feet, hands
reaching for a gun that wasn't there. Something was wrong however and she
bounced around as if she was almost in freefall.

"Good morning," said a pleasant male baritone. "Nice to see you're awake."

The woman quickly went over the nondescript motel room with steel shuttered
windows. "Obviously my cover was blown. So what's the plan? Torture? And why
am I wearing pink bunny pajamas?"

"We had it in your size available," said the voice.

"Mind showing yourself, I like knowing who I'm talking to," she said while
checking the room for something to use as a weapon.

The shutters slowly raised.

"Oh *crap*," said the woman, realizing why she felt as if she weighed 1/6
what she normally did.

"Rosita Villalobos. Age 39. Central Intelligence Agency of the United
States. Actually working for the Mexican government as a deep operative.
Codename: Sidewinder. You seduced, robbed, and killed your first man at age
12. All the same guy in fact. Recruited as a sleeper agent at the age of
sixteen."

"This trip down memory lane have a purpose?" Rosita asked.

"The reason I don't show you my face is that I am an artificial
intelligence. However, I think we can make use of each other's talents."

"I remember finding that elevator, then nothing," mused Rosita. "Must have
been fast acting. Okay, you hold the cards. I'm listening."

"Your files show you to be ruthless and completely amoral. You don't enjoy
killing, it simply is something you're very good at and you see absolutely
nothing wrong with killing. If I allowed you to go free, you would likely
kill one of the employees or visitors eventually just to keep in practice.
Hence your current prison."

Rosita considered. "I'm on the Moon. No air. No food. No water. At least for
a hundred thousand miles or so. What's your deal?"

"You are a huntress. The ship you are currently in will travel to a distant
star and eject your capsule on a world far from our own. The deal is for you
to explore it and report back using the transmitter in the capsule."

"What do *I* get out of it? I was in data gathering, not wetwork."

"No, and you've only killed three times in the past year, there is only one
other alternative I can think of though."

Rosita looked out at the barren moonscape and gave an experimental hop. It
could have been a fake but she knew of no way to fake lighter gravity. The
choice was obvious. Go on this mission and try to find a way back. Don't and
suck vaccuum. "When do I start?"

Fess was relieved. Sending this girl into the desmense of a god of evil
would shift her loyalties, but he was fairly sure that nobody would be happy
with the results. "Whenever you're ready."

"Let's get it over with then."

--------

Ryoga was ready to kill Ranma. Nothing new.

Lots of women wanted to kill HIM. That was new.

His cousin Shizuma Kusanagi wanted to fight HIM. That was not new so much as
something frightening.

To some degree, Ryoga Hibiki viewed his cousin as being a lot like him.
Fangs, family bandana, great stamina and strength, oodles and oodles of chi,
enjoyment of fighting, etc. No getting lost and an appetite similar to a
Saotome. However, Shizuma was a *lot* more competitive and fight oriented.
Ryoga enjoyed a good fight. Shizuma LIVED for a good fight.

So when a mutual acquaintance crossed Ryoga's path and told the lost boy
that cousin Shizuma had caught the rumors about Ryoga being able to destroy
an entire school with one blow, Ryoga decided he needed to get lost NOW. It
was perfectly understandable.

Ryoga was many things, but fond of cousin Shizuma was not one of them.

-------

Minako wiped tears away, trying to catch her breath and dignity.

"Are you sure about this, Miss Aino?" The hovertruck driver asked the girl.
The android thought that it was just that she was reacting to a sudden
shock, and that maybe a leisurely drive would give her time to cool, but the
girl had insisted they come here.

Minako nodded once.

She had fought menaces and criminals. She had suffered under the curse laid
upon her by Danburite. She had *died* to save the world!

She'd visited one of those video stores after leaving the others. One of
those filthy, dirty, sticky floored, disgusting video stores. There they had
been in all their cheap plastic covers with the cheap artwork. Sure enough,
the first one had been a British import made in 1989. When she'd only been
twelve and fighting evil for the first time and getting cursed by Danburite.
1990 had seen the bulk of the films. If you could call them that.

She had saved the world and championed for peace and love and justice. And
the world had turned around and betrayed her. The things on these tapes,
declared in bold yellow letters, done to her and her friends. The monstrous
things done to them in lurid detail.

The way Minako Aino saw it, she had three choices:
a) turn her back on the whole thing. She would never become Sailor Venus
again. Artemis would get kicked to the moon if he tried to force her. The
world had revealed that it was a dark ugly place and if some alien menace
was to come and destroy it - let someone who still believed in humanity save
it!
b) go with the way that one android had said had occurred elsewhere. Get
Usagi, find a way to get the ginzuishou, purify the world. Exile the makers
of that filth to some forgotten world outside the solar system.
c) do this.

Minako Aino walked down the path towards the house, stopping halfway and
waiting.

=======

Shizuma Kusanagi has fangs and a tiger bandana. Cousin of Ryoga Hibiki?
Shizuma and the members of the Shinsengumi appear in the "Real Bout High
School" manga put out by TokyoPop as a trade paperback.

omake omake omake omake

"Sure you want to stick around here, kid?"

Ranma sighed, then turned and glared. "I've handled the worst that you can
dish out!"

Toltiir blinked. "Excuse me? The *worst*?!"

Ranma glared at everyone snickering. "Yeah!"

The cat grinned. "Let's see, how about if I do - THIS!"

----------

"Here's a story,
'bout a man named Tendo,
who lost his wife,
and his daughters,
with emotional excess!"

"Here's a story,
'bout Saotome,
who had a little son,
that he dragged around,
and they were all alone!"

"Then one day Tendo came to realize,
and it was much more than a hunch,
he needed daughters - so adopted,
that's the way that he got a Tendo Bunch!
The Tendo Bunch!
The Tendo Bunch!
Way too many - but that's the Tendo Bunch!"

------------

"How could you kill them off?" Ranma demanded of the Elder god.

Toltiir blinked. "What are you talking about? She went off to live with
relatives and took her daughters with her. Look into the pool. Kasumi's
working as a short order cook, Nabiki's attending business college, and
Akane's off with her ski club. They just happen to be nowhere near Nerima."

"And who're these girls?!" Ranma pointed to the number of *new* Tendo girls.

"They're from a 'Kingdom Hearts' set of universes," said the Elder god of
mischief. "Letting them get swallowed by Darkness is no fun, so they just
ended up a little younger and partially amnesiac."

"Kingdom Of Hearts?! That's dumb."

---------

Soun held up the postcard. "At last! Today's the day! Aerith! Cinderella!"

The two girls stepped out of the kitchen and smiled at their adoptive though
silly father. "Yes, father?" "Otou-san?"

"Family meeting," said Soun, crossing to the backyard and sticking his head
in the koi pond. He'd had to expand it considerably, but when summer got
unbearably hot the depths of the pool cooled things off. "Ariel!"

The red head looked up from where she was reading and nodded.

Soun went up stairs and knocked on a door. "Yuffie?"

"Yeah, pops?"

Soun banged his head against the ceiling, then turned to confront his sneaky
"daughter". "How do you *do* that, anyway?"

"It's a knack," admitted Yuffie, ninja-thief of the household. "Family
meeting, right?"

Soun nodded and tried to get his heartrate back under control. "Have you
seen..."

"Mulan? She's jogging, I think. Jasmine's probably on the roof again.
Belle's in her room, want me to get her?" Yuffie offered.

Soun frowned.

Yuffie sighed. "Fine. No charge."

--------

At the Well, Ranma-mw blinked and scowled. "What are *they* doing here?"

"Well, they're orphans, and they're princesses. The bad guys are after
princesses," explained Toltiir.

"Shinobu Maehara is a princess?!"

"Well, in a manner of speaking," admitted Toltiir.

---------

Soun went into the spare building. Even he could admit than when he'd
started adopting girls, well, he'd gone just a little overboard.

"Makoto! Hotaru! Michiru!"

"Yo!" "Hai, papa!" "I was just going to practice my violin."

"You can do that later, Michiru, family meeting," said Soun. He quickly
crossed over to the other dorm room, steeled himself, and addressed the
occupants. "Rei, Lillith, Sasami, Shinobu. Family meeting. Rei, stop putting
spirit wards on Lillith. Lillith, get your big sisters and stop trying to
drain Rei's blood."

"Morrigan! Setsuna! Stop fighting! Family meeting!"

----------

"What about *them?*" Ranma-mw pointed at the display. "They're not
princesses!"

"Well, they weren't happy with their original timeline," allowed Toltiir.

---------

"Rei, Misato, Asuka, Maya," called Soun. "Family meeting."

--------

Maleficient glanced at Jaffar out of the corner of her eye. "Soon."

Jaffar smirked. "No. Soun."

"He'll want to engage one of his 'daughters' to this... Ranma," said
Maleficient slowly. "It was a sufficient obsession with him to adopt them
upon their escape to this world."

"Pfeh," spat Sephiroth. "Watch. If I offer that Genma a decent amount of
coin - he'll sell his son off before they come anywhere near the Tendo Dojo.
Providing we don't simply unleash the Heartless and destroy this world
before then."

----------

"Where do I begin?" Soun began.

"Oh, this is about Ranma, isn't it?" Setsuna said as she consulted her day
planner. "Odd how time gets away from me anymore."

Everyone but Soun laughed for some odd reason that completely escaped him.
"Yes, well. Family honor demands that he marry a Tendo. An honor arrangement
made before his birth."

"Hold it right there," said Morrigan. "What was the exact wording of this
document? Do you have a copy?"

"Uhm, it was an honor arrangement - verbal. I..." Soun began to sweat as he
usually did when Morrigan focussed her full attention on him.

Shinobu moved through the group, passing out glasses of iced tea.

"Could it have actually been something like: 'Tendo - we should unite the
two Schools Of Anything Goes by uniting the families. My son should marry
your daughter(s).'"

"You engaged *all* of us to him? Oh my." Shinobu turned red.

"No no no no no," said Soun hastily. "ONE of you must marry him."

"Oh," Morrigan snapped her fingers. "Pity."

Soun twitched a couple of times. Maybe Morrigan should be excluded. On the
other hand, one week engaged to Morrigan and Ranma would be experienced
enough to make one of his other daughters happy. "What I'm suggesting is
that he spend one week engaged to each of you, and then decide at the end of
that time which he'll marry."

There was some general dismay over that suggestion. Makoto glared around the
group. "Whose idea was that?"

Lillith tried to look innocent. She failed.

"Might have known."

"He'll be here any minute," began Soun.

"Let go of me, you old fool!" A voice was raised in apparent frustration.

"That would be them," said Setsuna.

-------------

Ranma STARED. This could not be covered by a simple stare or sweatdrop or
boggling. No, this required all caps STARING.

"And this is Shinobu, she's 11," said Soun. A short haired girl curtseyed
and offered a shy smile.

Another shorthaired girl nudged him. "Here's a program. Lists all the girls,
has a photo, their likes and dislikes, what turns 'em on, and how far
they'll go. A steal at just 10,000 yen or three materia!"

Soun cleared his throat. The girl sighed, rolled her eyes, and stalked off
with a "maybe later."

Genma puzzled. "How many daughters do you *have*, Tendo?"

"Well, in order of age, there's: Morrigan (21), Misato (20), Setsuna (20),
Aerith (19), Cinderella (18), Tifa (18), Belle (17), Maya (17), Michiru
(17), Makoto (16), Mulan (16), Rei Hino (16), Yuffie (16), Jasmine (15),
Rikku (15), Ariel (14), Asuka (14), Rei Ayanami-Tendo (14), Lillith (13),
Hotaru (12), Shinobu (11), Sasami (9)." Soun caught his breath.

"Twenty two daughters?" Ranma turned a blank look towards his father. "You
engaged me to over twenty different girls at the same time?!"

"Well, my boy, I've always thought you could be a 'man among men' - now's
your chance to prove it."

----------

"Sh-sh-shampoo!" Ranma ducked and ran.

"Ranma, you no escape! Shampoo kill!" The Amazon leapt up over the roof,
ready to pursue.

"SOUL FIST!" "Deep Submerge!" "Silence Glaive!" "...dead scream..." "Jupiter
Thunder ATTACK!" "Eat hot lead!" "AT Field Projectile." "Thrown frypan!"

Mulan made a disgusted noise. "Darn it! You didn't leave anything for *me*
to fight!"

Yuffie paused from where she was looting the body. "She's not dead. Maybe
you can get in a fight after she's recovered some."

Shampoo groaned. Just her luck she'd run into a Japanese Amazon Village.

---------

"I, Jadeite, claim your energy for the Dark Kingdom!"

"SOUL FIST!" "Deep Submerge!" "Silence Glaive!" "...dead scream..." "Jupiter
Thunder ATTACK!" "Eat hot lead!" "AT Field Projectile." "Thrown frypan!"
"Kachuu Tenshin Amaguriken - archery version!" "Steal Materia!" "Summon
Materia! Bahamut!" "Dolphin Fist!" "Pretty Sammy - Cute Look Attack!" "Fire
Soul!"

Ranma bounced up. "There's some villain guy around here, right?"

Everyone pointed to a pile of ash.

Ranma frowned. "Okay, I'll settle for his hench-youma."

Everyone pointed to a second pile of ash.

Ranma went off to sulk, muttering something about not getting to kick
anyone's butt lately.

--------

"Ranma Saotome," sneered Tatewaki Kuno, "today is the day I free the fair
Rei and the tidy Belle from your sorcerous grasp!"

"Ranma, today is the day I free Michiru from your perversions," proclaimed
Haruka, trying to crack her knuckles.

"Ranma! Today is the day I avenge what you did with Jasmine!" Ryouga thumped
his chest.

Ranma sighed. "I don't suppose anyone's figured out yet that:
a) Michiru's only interested in my girl form, and that marrying me would
give her an extra measure of respectibility because she feels that she could
marry a guy and still make out with my girl form?
b) I turn into a girl with cold water, and that two of you three still
haven't figured it out?
c) I'm not doing anything with anyone except going out on dates and the
only thing interesting in *those* has been when a martial arts battle
occurs?"

"Prepare to die, Ranma!"

"I didn't think so," Ranma said, casually spinning Haruka into Kuno's
multi-strike thrust attack pattern. "Nobody ever listens." Ranma bounced off
Ryouga's head just a moment before a bokken cracked in half on meeting that
skull. "It's like all that training I get at the dojo. You wouldn't believe
half the crap I have to dodge in the morning." Do the splits under Ryouga's
umbrella thrust, uppercut.

---------

"Ranma, I'd like you to meet a very good friend of mine, we met several
years ago and she's... a lot nicer than her reputation." Mulan indicated the
girl with her.

"The infamous Ranma Saotome, I was beginning to wonder if you really
existed. Mulan and a number of the Tendo girls helped me through some dark
times, if you hurt them, I will get even."

"Kodachi! It's nothing like that," Mulan made a dismissing gesture. "Ranma
has a little problem expressing himself. That's all. Take a look at the
father that raised him and you'll forgive relatively small faults."

"Perhaps," said Kodachi Kuno. "If you can forgive me my deranged brother, I
can forgive your father to some extent. In any case, the movie starts
shortly. Shall we?"

---------

Ariel sighed. She knew she couldn't go out on a regular date, she had to
worry about drying out among other things.

Ranma + cold water = Ranma-chan. Who at this point was trying to figure out
what the heck to even talk about with Ariel since they had so little in
common. Sure, she was cute, but so were most of the girls.

Ranma paused in rowing the boat. Come to think of it, there were only a few
of Soun's daughters he had anything in common with and could have a
reasonable conversation with. Get along with - most of them fell into that
category.

Tifa, Morrigan, Misato, Makoto, Asuka, the younger of the two Rei - all were
pretty good martial artists. Nowhere near his level, of course. Well, maybe
Tifa and Morrigan.

Ariel interrupted. "Deep thinking?"

"Yeah, I..." Ranma winced as he noticed what was on the boat heading their
way.

"I'll get that mermaid yet!" Cruella DeVille called out from her boat. "I'll
dine on her flesh and become immortal!"

"I'm not into girl+girl," yelled back Ariel, deliberately misunderstanding.
"Meet you back at the docks, Ranma."

---------

Maleficent chuckled as the Heartless poured past her in their hordes.

Captain Hook had been soundly defeated by Ranma and his crew. Ursula had
ended up sashimi. Jafar had been turned into a genie and stuffed in a lamp.

She was different though. There would be no evading her forces, and while
they were busy with the Heartless, she would take the Princesses and...

"Ahem!"

Maleficent was a Disney character, they did not normally form a large
sweatdrop. She did. Slowly and with a certain villainous elegance, she
turned.

Ranma cracked his knuckles. Mulan whirled her sword through a quick manuever
and held it ready. Saturn brandished her Silence Glaive. Pluto held her Time
Key Staff ready. Sailor Neptune checked her hair in the Neptune Mirror.
Morrigan smirked and formed a ball of purple lightning.

Maleficent blinked.

Misato clicked the safety on a BFG. Aerith held up the bracelet with her
Summon materia. Cinderella looked unhappy. Tifa was grinning and adjusting
her "goon smacking" gloves. Sailor Mars held a handful of ofuda/spirit
wards. Jasmine was making a couple of experimental passes with a scimitar.
Asuka and Rei Ayanami-Tendo had matching assault rifles. Ariel was in her
wheelchair and holding a harpoon gun. Pretty Sammy had her ribbon out.

Maleficent pursed her lips thoughtfully.

Shampoo held her sword. Ukyo readied her spatula. Sailor Uranus looked
perturbed. Tatewaki Kuno looked bewildered. Kodachi had her clubs out.

"You cannot stop me," said Maleficent. "Behold my power! I..."

Yuffie and Rikku ran away, holding the witch's staff and power orb.

"DIE!" The witch began summoning her power.

An awful lot of attack phrases were used.

----------

The Ranma at Mimir's Well groaned as everyone began a chorus of "Ding Dong,
the witch is dead."

Toltiir shrugged. "Disney characters. You have to expect a musical number
every so often."

"So who do I end up with in *this* mess," grumbled Ranma.

"Her," indicated the cat.

Ranma fainted as the song "Under The Sea" began playing.

==========

(1) Shinobu Maehara from "Love Hina". Lillith and Morrigan from "Dark
Stalkers". Makoto Kino/Sailor Jupiter Hotaru Tomoe/Sailor Saturn Setsuna
Meiou/Sailor Pluto Michiru Kaioh/Sailor Neptune from "Sailor Moon." Asuka,
Rei, and Misato are from "Evangelion". Various Disney Princesses and Final
Fantasy characters their respective sources. Sasami from Tenchi Muyo.