[UY][FanFic] Tales of the Daishi'cha: "Furinkan Spring"

[fher...@hotmail.com]

Nerima.

Hitomi Miyaki proceeds toward the closed restaurant, clutching a bag
of groceries. Eyes dart left and right to ensure that no one has noticed.
It was paranoid, but given the events of the past two months, understandable.
Who knew what the people around her were like. Were they lustful perverts
who only saw her as an object of sexual desire? Maybe intelligence agents
from other countries trying to ascertain if she was an enemy of Earth?
Business agents trying to help their bosses make a fast buck? Or...aliens?

Hitomi shakes her head, heading down an alley beside the restaurant.
She had to stop being so paranoid. Peace of a sort had descended on Nerima,
after the violent hurricane which came with her cousin's visit dissipated
when she returned to Tomobiki. Thinking of Shinobu causes Hitomi to choke on
her tears. Her family has just learned of Shinobu's kidnapping by the
Mikado. Hitomi has tried to get information, but details were quite sketchy.
There was only one solution.

Stopping at the door, Hitomi knocks. A second later, a handsome
young man dressed in shirt and jeans, looking like your average first-year
college student...if you ignored his ears...opens the door. "Hitomi-chan!" he
blinks, then smiles.

"Hi," she steps inside, slipping off her shoes. "I need to talk to
you, Fungi-kun."

* * *

Urusei Yatsura - Tales of the Daishi'cha: "Furinkan Spring"
by Fred Herriot
fher...@hotmail.com
**** **** ****
Edited by E.B. Kushnir
ku...@iaw.on.ca
**** **** ****
A story based on "Urusei Yatsura - The Senior Year," in turn based on "Urusei
Yatsura" created by Rumiko Takahashi
**** **** ****

WRITER'S NOTES:

1) Welcome to the Tales of the Daishi'cha, side stories concentrating on
the adventures of the *daishi'cha* of Sagussa. This series, unlike others,
allows other fans a chance to explore the world of UY-TSY even if they are not
fans of UY. Of course, this series could take place before, during and after
the time period of UY-TSY. For those interested in contributing, contact Fred
Herriot.

2) "Furinkan Spring" concerns six defence watchmistresses operating on
Earth during the period of the Nassur saga ("Nassur's Story," "Be Forever
Nassur" and "Stage Zero"). It also is a sequel to "Shinobu: Futures
Imperfect." In "Ranma 1/2" manga continuity, this story takes place after
Nodoka learned of Ranma's curse (Volume 36, Part 7). Certain liberties have
been taken with the "Ranma 1/2" storyline due to lack of knowledge but I'll
try to keep it as accurate as possible.

3) The Sagussans and Reigi Yumoa first began appearing in "Sakura's
Class Reunion." Hitomi Miyaki, Fungi, Suzuki and Takanaba first appeared in
"Shinobu: Futures Imperfect." Alex MacIntosh first appeared in "Spirit-War
Tomobiki." The Niphentaxians first appeared in "What Price For Love?" The
Mikado's influence on Tomobiki began with "Shinobu's Best Friend." Angus
McTavish first appeared in "Tripwire." Nagaiwakai Moroboshi and the
Kuromoroboshi first appeared in "Tag Race Mark Three." Fungi's name is
pronounced in proper Japanese syllabic format (FOON-GEE).

4) For translations of Sagussan terms, see the notes of "Sakura's Class
Reunion," "Spirit-War Tomobiki," "Surprise, Darling! You're a Father!!"
"Noa," "Mie's Story" and "A Hectic Vacation." For an understanding of the
Sagussans' interest in Ataru and Lum, you best read those stories, as well as
the whole of the Tiger Saga and Great Father Ataru parts of the series,
available at the UY- TSY websites.

5) To differentiate the Sagussans from their namesakes when in the same
scene together, "-chan" will be used with their names.

**** **** ****

"Shinobu-san was kidnapped?!"

The Niphentaxian holds his girlfriend as Hitomi tries to explain what
happened. "I...I called Aunt Kimiki...and she said...Shinobu-chan and her
friends...Lum, Ataru-san, Mendou, Megane...they were kidnapped by...some
dictator named the Mikado," she gazes questioningly at Fungi. "Who is he?!"

Fungi looks grim. "He's the present ruler of Vos, a confederation of
planets some light years from here," he gazes heavenward. "In some ways,
he's as bad as Adolph Hitler. At present, he's on the losing side of a
three-decade old civil war. Did your aunt say why Shinobu-san and the others
were kidnapped?"

"All she said was...it concerned that bounty hunter Shinobu-chan
likes so much," Hitomi sniffs back her tears.

"Nassur," Fungi notes. "So, he can't run anymore." At Hitomi's
questioning gaze, he explains. "Nassur's considered a renegade by the Mikado.
He's been running from that madman since before our fathers were born."

Hitomi sighs, turning from her boyfriend. "All Shinobu-chan wants is
some peace and quiet. Why does this keep happening to her?"

Fungi remains silent as Hitomi weeps. Where he came from, Shinobu
was a Sinful Doubter, a quasi-enemy of the Goddess Lum and Her Holy Company.
Fungi never truly bought into the Church's propaganda, having joined because
he feared ostricization. Assigned as an observer on Earth, he became
involved in an attempt by his companions to unseat Lum as the Supreme One,
replacing her with Shinobu. That attempt cost his companions their lives,
almost killed him, then forced him to sever contacts with his people. Of
course, he had help with that decision.

Her name was Hitomi.

The Niphentaxian gently embraces the Terran, allowing Hitomi to vent
her anguish over Shinobu's fate. His people would consider him blessed to be
the betrothed of a Holy Cousin to one of Phentax Two's present pantheon of
"deities." Truthfully, Hitomi had bumped into Fungi shortly after Shinobu's
four future selves had been eliminated. At first, surprised to see that an
alien had escaped the Sagussans' dragnet, Hitomi took pity on the observer.
As time progressed and Hitomi learned Fungi was unlike his countrymen, that
pity fell away and blossomed into love.

"Shinobu-san will be safe," Fungi intones. "Remember, Ataru-san was
also kidnapped. The Sagussans have chosen him as their leader. The Mikado
has made a grave mistake. The Sagussans will punish him for it. And they'll
rescue Ataru-san and the others. You must have faith, Hitomi-chan."

Hitomi smiles. Faith seemed to come so easily to Fungi. Allowing
herself to rest, she sinks into his embrace. Fungi was right. Despite the
propensity for trouble which haunted her cousin, so far, her luck had held
out. Hopefully, it would hold out again...

* * *

"Given the incidents in Nerima over the past two months, we find we
can no longer trust anyone outside of the U.N. when it comes to Terran-alien
contacts," Angus McTavish gazes at the six women before him. "While the
intelligence agencies have apologized for their rogue observers, who's to tell
if the next group won't do the same thing. Isolation is no longer the game.
Therefore, to analyze the aftereffects of this incident in Nerima, we can only
turn to you people."

Before him stood six *daishi'cha.* By birth, they were two Terrans,
two Fukunokami, one Tofunokoibito and one Seishin-Urusian. All were defence
watchmistresses of the First Fleet. "Sir, we'll be more than happy to take
care of this problem," their leader, a red-haired pig-tailed Terran-born
woman, salutes. "What are the specifics?"

"Simple," Angus smiles. "The business interests who were after
Shinobu might aim at someone else. The militarists may also move. And
despite your proficiency, other observers may still be active, which is of
course a violation of U.N. resolutions concerning aliens living on Earth. We
want them gone."

"Yes, sir," the six salute...

* * *

"Quaint little place," Ranma-chan muses as she strolls along the
fence, enjoying an ice cream cone. Strange that the vendor had given her an
extra scoop, calling her cute. Ranma then spent the next ten minutes staring
at her image. She didn't consider herself cute. Personally, she didn't care
how others thought of her...except one.

"Akane..." Ranma sighs, stopping to sit on the fence. The haunting
image of the raven-haired Fukunokami-born watchmistress echoes in her mind's
eye. Now, THAT was supernova-class, Ranma's heart flutters. They received
their names from Noa's observations of Tokyo, encountering their
spirit-sisters (or in Ranma's case, spirit-brother) while scouting the area.
It was nice having names; they'd become status symbols. Ranma hoped it would
not cause problems in the future.

Finishing her cone, Ranma extracts a portable scanner, then sweeps
around her. No alien communications system in the area. So far, so good.
Using a napkin to wipe her face, she bounds back on the fence...when a bicycle
bell is heard. "Eh?" she turns...

...and finds herself nearly squashed by Shampoo's front tire!! "Ni
hao, Ranma!" the delivery girl beams, bounding off to embrace the dazed
Sagussan. "What you doing out here? Shouldn't you be in school?"

Ranma glares at her. "***WHAT WAS THAT FOR, YOU ROAD-HOG?!?!?!
DON'T YOU BELIEVE IN GIVING PEDESTRIANS THE RIGHT OF WAY?!?!?!***"

Shampoo is nearby blown out of Nerima by the Sagussan's angry shout.
"Why you scream at me...?" she mutters, sniffing back tears.

"Does THIS look like a good enough reason?!!" Ranma points at the
tire mark on her face. "You normally introduce yourself this way,
*kimei'ne?!! *"

Shampoo looks, then produces a hot water kettle. "Oh, you no find
hot water!" she beams, pouring it over Ranma. "There you go!"

Ranma howls as the scalding liquid pours on her, then fixes the very
surprised Shampoo with a lethal stare, the air around her ablaze with fury.
"That...was...not...FUNNY!!!!!!"

An explosion later sends Shampoo flying into orbit!! Panting, Ranma
straightens herself, then notices the discarded food. "Well, can't let
anything go to waste!" she sits down, then begins to eat...

* * *

Akane-chan moves from boutique to boutique, gazing at the beautiful
dresses on display. Gazing at her own shirt and slacks, the Fukunokami-born
watchmistress frowns. Definitely won't do. Fishing into her pocket for her
wad of local currency, she does a quick analysis of prices, then heads inside.

Sometime later, Akane emerges dressed in a beautiful blue skirt,
white ruffled shit, black vest and a bowtie, her old clothes in a bag at her
side. "There!" she smiles at herself. "Perfect! Now," she draws her scanner
and makes a pass over the district. "Hmm. Nothing. Well, might as well go
find the others and see what's happening."

"Akane!" a voice gasps from behind her.

The Sagussan sees Kasumi Tendou gazing in disbelief at her. "Yes?
Can I help you?" she politely smiles.

"You look beautiful!!" Kasumi walks around her. "When did you get
the dress?!"

"Just now!" Akane blushes, twirling around. "Does it look good on
me?"

"It's wonderful!! Oh, Mother would be so pleased! Wait until Ranma-
kun sees this!! I bet you bought it especially for him!"

Akane blushes. How did this Terran know of Ranma-chan's interest in
her? "W-well, I'm sure she'll like it," she twittles her thumbs, "...but I'm
not interested in pursuing a relationship with her...eh?!" she tenses as an
ominous whistling becomes audible.

An explosion later sees Shampoo buried into the concrete beside
Akane!! "Shampoo!" Kasumi gasps. "Oh, my! Are you alright?!"

"Oooh..." the Chinese girl moans, eyes twirling. "Someone
get...number of elephant...who hit Shampoo...!"

Akane blinks. So, this was Shampoo-chan's spirit-sister. What
happened? She had heard Nerima was as violent as Tomobiki though they did not
have the spice of aliens living among them. Her eyes focus on the fist-mark
buried into Shampoo's cheek. The Sagussan kneels down, her fingers lightly
touching the bruise. "Ranma!" she sighs, bolting to her feet. "Can't I take
you anywhere without you trying to kill people?! Honestly!"

"Eh?" Kasumi blinks surprisedly. "Oh, my! Ranma-kun did this?!"

"She certainly did!" Akane sighs, her shoulders slumping. "She's an
embarrassment! She has lewd dreams about me all the time, hates it when any
woman takes interest in me and when she loses her temper, the maintenance
engineers go on strike because of the damage she causes!! Why was she
assigned to this mission?! All she does is cause trouble!"

Kasumi blinks, then gazes intently at the Sagussan. Akane's enlarged
lower earlobes, adorned by phoenix earrings, quickly catch her attention. At
that moment, Shampoo sits up, dousing everything with a fountain of tears.
"WHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! RANMA HATE SHAMPOO!!!! RANMA HATE SHAMPOO!!!!!!"

"Well, with the way you, Ukyou and Kodachi throw yourselves on Ranma
all the time, what did you expect?!" Akane sighs.

Shampoo bolts up, glaring the Sagussan in the eyes. "Stupid tomboy!
Always make Ranma violent! Shampoo love Ranma!! You do this!"

"I caused this?!" Akane growls. "I resent that!! And why are you
calling ME a stupid tomboy?! Ranma's the tomboy!!"

Shampoo blinks at the response, then gazes at Akane's dress. "Why
you dress funny? You normally dress in plain clothes!"

"Well, excuse me if I like to look good once in a while!!" Akane
sneers.

"You no look good!" Shampoo snaps, then shudders, noticing that the
Sagussan's ethereal beauty has begun to attract male admirers, gathering
around them. "You...you ...you have mean temper...!"

"I do?!" Akane innocently blinks, then turns to Kasumi. "Do I have a
mean temper?"

"I...don't believe so," her spirit-sister's older sister replies.

"Do I have a mean temper?!" Akane asks another bystander...

...who is none other than Tatewaki Kunou! "You are fire, Akane
Tendou!" he gently grasps her hands. "Burning as bright as the sun! I, the
Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, Tatewaki Kunou, who has always vowed his love
to you, will swear to the Gods Themselves that you are the finest example of
womanhood!!"

"What about pig-tail girl?" Shampoo asks.

"AAAAAH!!!!" Kunou wails, gripping his hair. "No!!! The decision!!!
Who shall it be?!! Akane or my pig-tailed goddess?!! The pain it unleashes
in my heart!!! Agony!!!"

He staggers away, wailing. Akane stares at the Terran martial
artist. "Strange natives, I must say," she sighs. "Well, if you'll excuse
me, I have to go now...eh?!"

Everyone gasps, horrified to see a small person crawling up her
skirt! "Oh, boy!!" a cracked voice echoes. "I've never seen a prettier tush
in all my life!"

"Sir!!" Akane blushes. "Would you please not do that in public?!
I'm sure I can arrange a private session with you!!"

Happousai's head peeks out! "You mean that?! Hot-cha, it a date,
honey!!"

The men howl indignantly, many falling on their faces! "Akane!!"
Shampoo barks. "You say you betrothed to Ranma!! You supposed to marry
Ranma, not marry pervert!"

"'MARRY?!?!'" the Sagussan blanches. "I would never participate in
such a primitive, barbaric bonding ritual!!"

"Primitive?!! BARBARIC?!?!"

"If only Ranma would stop beating every girl who wants me!!!" Akane
turns away, her tears glistening in the morning light. "Every time I seek a
potential bondmate, she stops me!! Can't I make my own choice, seek my own
*marei'cha?* Why am I forced to endure such agony?! Ranma has three
beautiful women chasing her! Why can't she go after one of them?!"

Everyone is silent, gazing in disbelief and horror at the Sagussan.
"What she talk about?" Shampoo wonders.

"Isn't it obvious?" Happousai enjoys a pipe. "This Akane's bisexual!"

Silence. "'This' Akane?!" Shampoo spins on the ancient master.

"Yep!" Happousai hops over to Akane, taking her skirt. "May I?"

Akane nods. Happousai raises the skirt, revealing the Sagussan's
sequential tattoo 62836 on the backs of her thighs. "See!"

Everyone stares. "Why Akane have funny tattoo on legs?" Shampoo asks.

"This is not our Akane," Kasumi muses.

"***WHAT?!?!?!***" everyone screams.

"Doppelganger of Akane?" Shampoo gulps.

"No!" Kasumi laughs. "This woman may have Akane's name, face and
voice, but I don't think she's from around here. In fact, I think she's an
alien!"

Silence falls as everyone gazes at their visitor. "What a horrible
thing!!" Happousai then wails, spinning away from the Sagussan.

"What's wrong, sir?" Akane wonders, kneeling beside the elder martial
artist.

"Tell me it's not true!" he grasps her hands. "That you...that
you...that you...?"

"Yes...yes...yes?"

Everyone tenses, staring expectantly at Happousai. He gazes into her
eyes. "That you're not wearing underwear?!"

Everyone is then decked by an explosion!! "Of course not!!" Akane
straightens. "I wouldn't be caught dead wearing such prudish clothing! Now,
if you'll excuse me, I have a mission to perform. Good day!"

Akane heads off. The Terrans remain in place. "More aliens come to
Earth?" Shampoo wonders. "I thought they go to Tomobiki!"

"There goes the neighbourhood!" a high school student sighs.

"Yeah!!" another laughs, turning to his friend. "But she's SO
cute!!!"

Howls and wolf-calls echo that statement. "Oh, my!" Kasumi smiles...

* * *

"Shampoo here, honey!" Shampoo-chan calls from a corner of Nerima
near the Nekohanten. "Nothin' in this area. If y'all ask me, I think this
whole trip's gonna be a bust!"

"Shampoo!" Eluza's voice echoes from the orbiting "Hasei'cha,"
command ship for this mission. "Sensors indicate a Niphentaxian's on the
loose somewhere in Nerima! Find him!"

"Aye, ma'am!" the watchmistress closes the transmitter. "Lyna, who
put th' prickle-bush inta her haystack?! Pony must not be ridin' her much
these days! Ah, well..."

With that, she proceeds down the street, taking out her scanner and
sweeping a cursory pass. Shampoo-chan possessed a Ly'sha accent, Sagussa's
version of a Texan drawl. The Tofunokoibito-born watchmistress didn't mind
being in Nerima; her spirit-sister lived here. Further, Ranma-chan had been
assigned here, which delighted Shampoo-chan to no end. She lusted after
Ranma- chan like the Terran-born watchmistress desired Akane. Although why
Ranma-chan desired that snooty, stuck-up girl, Shampoo-chan would never
understand.

But if the U.N. wanted results, they could be disappointed. The
group had been drilled in the importance of this mission by the Shipmistress-
prime before leaving Sagussa. Earth's treaty with Sagussa would keep the
other galactic powers at bay; without it, intergalactic war over this
beautiful world became a serious possibility. And if that crimped on
Sagussa's plans for Ataru Moroboshi, then anything became possible.

Suddenly, stampeding feet tear up behind her. "Shampoo!! There you
are!!"

Shampoo-chan stops as Mousse races past her, ramming into a telephone
pole. "Ouch!" the Sagussan winces. "That must hurt!!"

"Oooh..." the lovesick weapons master slides to the ground.
Typically, his glasses are on his forehead.

"Y'all okay, honey?" Shampoo-chan kneels.

Mousse bolts to his feet, grabbing the watchmistress' hand. "You
called me 'honey!'" he burbles delightedly, then overwhelms her with a bear-
hug. "Oh, Shampoo, finally!! You finally acknowledge your love for me! Oh,
my suffering is over!! Now, we can marry!!"

"MARRY?!?!" Shampoo-chan backs away. "Who says anythin' about my
marryin' you?!!"

With that, Mousse is sent flying into orbit! "Shampoo...!!"

"*De'ne!*" Shampoo-chan growls.

Moments later, the watchmistress arrives at the Nekohanten. Smelling
the good food, she heads inside. Cologne busies herself at the stove. "Ah,
Shampoo, there you are," the matriarch smiles. "You're just in time...eh?"

"What?" Shampoo-chan stops.

Cologne tenses on seeing the Sagussan's ears. "You are not Shampoo!"
she hisses, taking hold of her cane. "Who are you?!"

"I'm Shampoo...but not your Shampoo," Shampoo-chan replies, pulling
out her wallet. "Now, if y'all don't mind, I'm a little hungry and I want
something ta eat."

Seeing the 10,000 yen notes, Cologne smiles. "Please, make yourself
at home."

The Sagussan smiles, relaxing at a window booth, taking menu in
hand. Cologne quickly turns away, a bead of sweat appearing on her forehead.
*Her battle aura is unlike anything I've ever seen! Who is that woman?!*

"Y'all don't mind if I have some won ton soup and Shanghai lo mein?"
Shampoo-chan wonders. "And if y'all got kimch'i, that too?"

"Certainly," the matriarch nods.

The door opens, revealing Shampoo. "Oh, home at last!" the warrior-
maiden sighs. "Weird day today, Great-grandma!"

"What do you mean, child?" Cologne muses.

Shampoo relaxes at the bar. "First, run into strange Ranma who no
transform when Shampoo pour hot water on her. She punch Shampoo into sky,
then Shampoo meet strange Akane who Kasumi say not from Earth! Pretty soon,
Shampoo might meet strange Shampoo!"

"Uh..." Cologne starts to sweat.

Shampoo tenses as intense heat washes over her. "What was that?!!"
Shampoo-chan growls. "Y'all RAN into Ranma?!!"

Shampoo spins, staring at a pointed-eared version of herself!
"Aiyah!!! Who you?!!"

"Your spirit-sister!! What's this about y'all runnin' into Ranma?!"

"Why you talk funny?"

"Honey, y'all should listen ta yourself sometime!" Shampoo-chan
sneers.

Shampoo assumes a ready stance. "Fake Shampoo insult Shampoo, eh?!
We fight now!!"

"Fine!" Shampoo-chan then draws a pistol, then aims at Shampoo's face.

The Terran is understandable surprised, not to mention scared.
"Um...you point that somewhere else!" she stammers, backing away.

"Look," the Sagussan sighs. "I'm hungry, I want something ta eat,
I've a job ta do and I'm in no mood for silliness! Understand?!"

"Understood!" Shampoo nods.

With that, Shampoo-chan returns to her seat. "What go on here, Great-
grandma?" Shampoo turns to Cologne.

"I don't know," her eyes narrow...

* * *

"Thanks, Konatsu. That should be all."

Konatsu smiles, kneeling beside his icon. Both are adorned in very
beautiful kimonos, having finished some renovations with Ucchan's. "Anything
for you, Ukyou-san," the ninja blushes, bowing to his would-be girlfriend. "I
live to serve you."

Ukyou blushes, slipping off her kimono, revealing her cooking
clothes. "Stop that!!" she wags her finger. "We're not engaged! Now, we're
going to open soon! Get ready!"

"Hai!!" Konatsu bows, then heads off to prepare himself.

Ukyou sighs. It was bad enough that she had to deal with two
competing fiancees for her Ran-chan, but to have the poor ninja take interest
in her. Almost as bad as when Tsubasa was after her. She would have to do
some fast footwork to get Konatsu away from her so she could concentrate on
Ranma.

Suddenly, the front door opens. "Hey, you open?!" a strange female
voice inquires.

"Welcome to Ucchan's..." Ukyou spins around...then faints! "EH?!?!"

Ukyou-chan stands at the doorway, gazing at her spirit-sister. "Is
this a normal way Terrans greet guests?" the watchmistress wonders, then walks
in. "You folks open?!"

Konatsu appears. "Welcome to Ucchan's Okonomiyaki...what?!" he
stops, eyes wide on seeing the Sagussan. "Who are you?!!"

"I'm Ukyou!" Ukyou-chan smiles.

"Wait a minute!!!" Ukyou bolts up from behind a counter. "I'M
Ukyou!!!"

"Of course you are. You're Ukyou Kuonji, the person I took my name
from!"

"You took my NAME?!?!" Ukyou growls as she pulls out her combat
spatula. "Who gave you permission to do that, you thief?!!"

"Is there something wrong?" the Sagussan wonders. "You actually want
me to call myself *Daishi'cha* Fifty-two-nine-sixty-three?!"

"Um...well, not really!"

"Great!!" Ukyou-chan embraces her spirit-sister. "We'll get along
famously!! Now, if you don't mind, I'm hungry...not to mention attracted to
THIS creature!!" she gazes at Konatsu. "What's a gorgeous guy like you doing
in a place like this, sweetie?!"

The ninja flushes, backing away from the Sagussan. "Pl-please, miss,
I'm only interested in Ukyou-san...!" he stammers.

"Hey!!!" Ukyou growls, jealous flames leaping from her body. "Leave
him alone, you horse-thief!! Go find your own!!"

In the blink of an eye, Konatsu has Ukyou in a bear-hug! "Oh, Ukyou-
san, you finally admit your love! Now, we can be together!"

"Hey, it's not what you think...!"

"Terrans sure have such strange mating rituals!" Ukyou-chan waves
them on. "Please, go ahead!! I love to see a young couple at work! Might
give me clues as to how to free Ranma-chan from his lust for Akane!!"

"WHAT?!?!?!" Ukyou bolts up to her spirit-sister. "Whattayamean
YOU'RE after Ran-chan?!! He's MINE!!!!"

"'He?!'" the Sagussan blinks. "MY Ranma-chan's a GIRL!!!!"

"***WHAT?!?!?!***" the Terran drops to her knees. "Oh, no!!! Ran-
chan's stuck as a girl!!! I'll never marry him now!!!"

"You must reject him, Ukyou-san!!" Konatsu embraces her.

Ukyou-chan stares at her spirit-sister, now wailing her heart out,
Konatsu begging her to come to him. "Was it something I said...?"

* * *

"How about these?" Nabiki Tendou smiles.

In her hand rest an ensemble of pictures depicting Ranma Saotome in
his female form, scantily clad as usual. "Delightful!!" Kunou shudders. "Do
you have any more of Akane?"

"Right here!" Nabiki produces them.

Akane is depicted in her gi, smashing bricks or other kata moves.
"Oh, be still, my heart!" Kunou shudders. "Since I beheld the virtuous Akane
Tendou this day draped in her new, alluring clothing, my heart began to ache
once again! Now, will I finally be able to claim my pig-tailed goddess?!"
With that, he hands Nabiki 20,000 yen. "Here!"

"Thanks!" Nabiki smiles. "If you want more, you know where...eh?!"

She stops, staring at the door of the ice cream parlour, scene of
many previous business transactions with Kunou. The door opens, a Fukunokami-
born Kodachi, her ponytail secured by a chain, entering. Dressed in more
unitarian clothing than what was considered normal for the Black Rose of St.
Hebereke, not to mention carrying a sophisticated tricorder, Kodachi-chan
sweeps the room, then registering a negative result, proceeds to the counter.
"May I have a chocolate-vanilla two-scoop?"

"What's with Kodachi?!" Nabiki wonders.

Kunou looks. "That, despite your understandable mistake, is not my
dear yet twisted sister," he crosses his arms. "First, her ears are deformed.
Second, she would not wear chains in her hair."

"Chains...?" Nabiki blinks. "Holy!! She's an alien! Fukunokami, I
think. Sorta alien version of the Lords of Luck."

"You know of them?"

"Well, when Akane was training Shinobu Miyaki, I got curious and did
some research."

"Ah!" Kunou nods. "It was truly not Nerima's finest hour, the way
many treated Miyaki-san. Especially that sickening website on the Internet
the Sagussans learned of."

*Tell me something I don't already know,* Nabiki turns a deep cherry.

Once she has her order, Kodachi-chan turns, taking a lick of her ice
cream. Her eyes lock with Nabiki's. The Sagussan pauses, eyes widening on
seeing the very cultured middle Tendou daughter. Nabiki shudders under that
intent gaze, then perspires as Kodachi-chan seductively licks her lips. With
a casual wink, the watchmistress turns and departs. "Very strange," Kunou
muses, crossing his arms. "I have never seen such passion. She may indeed
outdo my sister. What do you think, Nabiki...Nabiki?!"

He sees Nabiki crouching under the seat, panicked. "Is...is she
gone...?!"

* * *

"You delinquents!!!" Hinako Ninomura pulls out a five yen piece.
"You stop right there!!! HAPPO-GO-YEN-SAT-TSU!!!!"

A blast of energy lashes out, snagging the group of bullies out to
kill Hikaru Gosunkugi. The frail student hits the dirt as his attackers'
fighting energy is siphoned off, drawn into his homeroom teacher. In a
second, the pre-pubescent girl transforms into her adult self. "There!" she
nods. "That should teach you not to assault innocent students!! Are you
alright, Hikaru-kun?"

"Th-th-thanks, Sensei," Gosunkugi stammers, brushing himself off. "I
didn't see them coming until they were atop me!"

"You must be more careful," Hinako sighs. "I might not be around
next time. Go home."

"Yes, Sensei," he bows, then heads off.

Hinako sighs, gazing at the people at her feet. What was it with
this current generation?! No respect for their teachers and elders, always
preying on each other...it was enough to drive one mad. Hinako hated the fact
that she was forced to live most of the time in a child's body. But thanks to
her spending so much time as a thirteen year old, Hinako could emotionally
recharge herself for occasions like this. Still...

"Another group?" a voice inquires.

Hinako feels her cheeks flame. She turns to see Souun Tendou
approach. Beside him was Genma Saotome (as human) and his wife Nodoka, all
fresh from the local bathhouse given the toiletries they carried. "Oh...S-
souun-kun!" Hinako flushes. "Yes, another group!"

Nodoka gasps. "Souun, is this Hinako?!"

"Um...yes!" the Tendou patriarch blushes.

"Hello!!" Nodoka grasps Hinako's hand. "Oh, its' so good to meet
you, Ninomura-san! My son's told me so much about you!!"

"Ah, you're Saotome-kun's mother!" Hinako laughs, then shudders.

A second later, the teacher had reverted to her child's body. "Oh,
my!" Nodoka gasps, then stares at her husband. "I see you were right about
this part!"

"Unfortunately," Genma sighs.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!" Hinako leaps into a startled Souun's arms,
her tears dousing everyone, transforming Genma into his panda-form. "How can
I be a normal woman when I turn back into this?!! How?!! How?!!"

"There, there, Hinako-chan!" Souun shudders, wishing the teacher
would finally leave him alone. "I...I'm sure you'll evolve from this sooner
or later...!!"

"Excuse me, please!" a voice calls out.

The four look as a fair-haired Seishin woman walks past, tricorder
out and scanning. Beside her ambles a giant cougar-like beast with bat wings!
Passing her scanner over the dazed bullies, Azusa-chan sighs. "No, not here!"
she muses. "Better go look elsewhere!"

The four watch her go. "Hey!!!" Hinako then leaps to her feet, five
yen coin in hand. "How dare you walk around with such a dangerous animal, you
delinquent?!!"

The Sagussan stops, then looks back. "Are you speaking to me?"

"Yes, I'm speaking to you!" Hinako growls. "HAPPO-GO-YEN-SAT-TSU!!!!"

Sensing the energy blast, Azusa leaps high into the air, pivots, then
slams into Hinako's breastbone, knocking the startled teacher off her feet.
The blast goes wide, nailing Genma and Souun, the former having knocked Nodoka
out of danger! "NO!!!!" Hinako howls as the energy flows into her, causing
another growth spurt. "SOUUN-KUN!!!!!!"

Azusa rolls back to her feet, then draws her pistol as Hinako spins
on her, murder in her eyes. "You dare make me use my powers on the man I
love?!" Hinako growls. "Prepare to face the full power of Anything-Goes
Martial Arts!!! HAPPO-GO-YEN-SAT-TSU!!!!"

Azusa stands her ground. Hinako gasps as something goes wrong.
"Ahhh!!" she cries out, feeling her powers overload as they attempt to absorb
the energy of someone possessing an eight hundred year lifespan.

"Hi-...na-...ko...!" Souun moans.

An explosion occurs!! Still an adult, Hinako is knocked through a
wall as Azusa relaxes, holstering her weapon. "You should learn never to
attack a non-Terran with something only meant for Terrans," the watchmistress
warns. "It's sheer luck that you didn't kill yourself doing that...eh?!"

Her eyes widen as Hinako rises, the fire in her eyes burning bright.
"You delinquent!" she snarls. "How dare you defy your elders?!"

Azusa shudders, floating between mad lust and righteous indignation.
"Well, I may not..." *Oh, she's beautiful!!* "...look like it..." *How did she
grow like that?!* "...but I'm well over nine hundred years old..." *Oooh, wait
until I get you alone, sexy!!* "...almost all of that spent in cryofreeze!"

"Nine hundred?!" Nodoka blinks, then turns to Hinako. "You better
stop, Hinako! I don't think Happousai gave you the ability to absorb energy
from someone THAT old!!"

"Besides, I'm not one of your students," Azusa turns to leave. "Now,
if you'll excuse me, I've a job to get done. Good day!"

The Sagussan blows Hinako a kiss as she runs off, her sandpanther
following her. The teacher is understandably flushed. "D-d-did you s-see th-
th-that?!" she stammers, turning to Nodoka. "S-she...s-she...?!"

Hinako passes out!

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

Later, the core members of the "Furinkan Crisis Management Team"
muster at the Tendou dojo. "Let me see if I understand this," Souun muses.
"You're saying that there are strange doubles of Ranma-kun and the others
running around Nerima?"

Heads bob up and down. "I think that girl we met looked a lot like
Azusa Shiratori, Tendou-kun," Genma muses.

"Please don't speak about her!" Hinako wails, tightly holding Souun's
arm. "I could actually feel her undress me with her eyes!!"

"Um...Sensei, isn't it odd that you haven't gone back to your child's
body yet?" Akane Tendou wonders.

Hinako blinks, then looks at herself. She hadn't absorbed any energy
from Azusa, yet here she was, still an adult. Happousai taps her acupuncture
points. "Incredible!" the master gasps. "Her body's structure has been
reforged!! It hasn't affected her powers, but her growth abilities have been
blocked! I've never seen anything like this!"

"What?!" Souun gasps.

"I'll stay an adult?!" Hinako gasps.

"'Fraid so," Happousai sighs.

"Oh, Souun-kun!!!" Hinako bear-hugs the Tendou patriarch. "Now we
can be together for the rest of our lives!!"

"H-hey..." Souun gasps.

"So, what was this other me like?" Akane stares at Kasumi.

"Probably another tomboy!" Ranma sneers.

Akane clobbers him! "Actually, Akane-chan was very cute and
feminine," Kasumi smiles. "The dress she bought attracted everyone's
attention, including Happousai's."

"Ah, Akane-chan!" Happousai blissfully smiles. "What a sweet girl!
She actually offered to go on a date with me!"

"Ugh!! Is she blind?!" Akane winces.

"I doubt it," Kasumi muses. "Nabiki, you said that double of Kodachi
was Fukunokami."

"Um...y-yeah, sh-she seemed that w-way to me," Nabiki stammers.

"I don't believe they're what we'd assume they'd be," Kasumi
explains. "Ranma-kun's and Ukyou's doubles are Terran."

Shampoo and Ukyou nod conformation. "What do you mean, Kasumi?"
Souun wonders.

"There's this one other race that've suddenly taken interest in our
planet," his oldest daughter hums. "Remember those incidents with Miyaki-san
over the last while? The Tripwire incident? Those women who wear that
phoenix insignia on their uniforms?"

"The Sagussans!" Nabiki realizes.

"Yes," Kasumi nods. "Akane's double wore phoenix earrings. I
believe we're dealing with Sagussans, not any of the other races Earth's
previously encountered."

"So what would bring them here?" Genma wonders. "Nabiki, do you have
any idea what these people are like, what they want?"

"That's the problem; no one knows what's going on with them," Nabiki
shrugs. "They're subtle when it comes to making waves on Earth, not like the
Urusians or the others. Other than the Tripwire thing and what happened in
Oshio, it's believed that they also stopped a Niphentaxian fleet from invading
Earth back in February. As for what they want, believe it or not, they want
Ataru Moroboshi!"

Ranma winces. "Him?! I wonder if we should be insulted!"

"Hey!!" Akane growls, glaring at her fiance. "You don't know the
half of what he's been through! Shinobu told me everything about
him...including a story about a ninjitsu database in his subconscious which
came close to destroying all of Tokyo some months ago!!"

"Heh! I could've beaten it easily!!"

"Don't be too sure of that, son-in-law," Cologne interrupts. "There
are certain things on this planet even *I* would not challenge. The *saikoo
jinseijitsu* is one of them!"

Ranma shudders. "Other than that, it is believed they're bisexual,
confirmed by Kodachi's interest in me and Azusa's in Hinako-sensei; very
advanced technologically, even more so than the Urusians; they want to be our
friends and are willing to defend us against other aliens...and that's it!"
Nabiki shrugs. "Because they haven't really gone public, a lot of what I
just said is conjecture from the Internet. I've seen a couple websites on
them, but since they're so recent, there's little information. Akane, did
Shinobu say anything more about them?"

"Well, I heard they don't like everyone in Tomobiki and that one of
them...their leader, I think; her name's Noa..." Akane muses, "...was the one
who bonded Ataru to Lum years ago, which was the primary reason Shinobu lost
him after Lum's arrival."

"That still isn't enough," Souun crosses his arms. "There has to be
some way to learn more! Perhaps contact someone in Tomobiki..."

The front door opens. "HAPPOUSAI!!!!!!"

The aged master jolts, shuddering with anger as a diminutive figure
stands in the doorway, his body aglow with a titanic battle aura. "So there
ye are, ye scallywag!!" a thickly-accented voice growls. "Still thinkin'
yuir th' tops, eh?! Time fuir ye ta put yuir money where yuir mouth is!!"

"Is that a fact?!" Happousai faces his challenger, his battle aura
surrounding him. "Then we'll settle it right here and now!"

Everyone beats a fast retreat as the two face off. Hands drift to
their side...then they produce brassieres! "SEE THAT?!?!?!"

An explosion decks everyone!! "Ringo!!!" Happousai grins. "What
brings you here?!!"

"Happy!!" Alex MacIntosh laughs, playfully elbowing the aged master
in the chest. "Ye still have it, laddie!! Where'd ye find that bonnie bra?!"

"Hey!!!" Akane clobbers them with Mallet-sama! "Those are MY bras!!
Give them back!!"

"Need I explain?!" Happousai chuckles.

Both merrily howl, high-fiving the other, then throwing an arm around
the other. "I take it you two know each other," Ranma sighs.

"My boy, this is my friend Alex MacIntosh!" Happousai escorts the
Scotsman to Ranma. "His friends call him Ringo! He's the chief druid of the
McTavish Clan in Scotland! He 'n' I've going after skirts since long before
your father was born!! Alex, this here's my student Ranma Saotome!"

"Ah!" Alex then does a swift inspection. "Th' lad's got potential,
Happy! Ye sure know how ta pick 'em!!"

"Hey, I don't recall askin' for your approval!!" Ranma snarls.

A second later, he is pitched into the koi pond out front! "Lad, is
it true that if ye splash him with cold water, he turns into a bonnie
lassie?!" Alex turns to Happousai.

Ranma burst out of the pool. "Hey!! Why'd you do that, you lech?!"
she growls. "You're worse than the old freak!!!"

"We nae be perverts, laddie," Alex draws his pipe and lights it. "We
be a'havin' fetishes aboot collectin' ladies knickers!" His eyes then widen
on seeing Ranma's curvaceous features. "Lad!! Ye nae be a'kiddin'!!! She's
a beauty!!"

"Told ya!" Happousai laughs. "Now, if I could get her into a bra,
it'd be perfect!!"

"We'll see about that!!!" Ranma bolts to her feet, charging at the
door.

Alex draws his shillelagh, closing the door before Ranma could get
close. *Crash!* A dent in the door! A *thump!* of someone falling to the
patio outside follows. "Lad's tae violent for his own good, Happy!" Alex
muses, then sees Cologne still balanced on her cane. "I'll be a...!!" he
gasps, eyes wide. "Cologne, lass, is that you?!"

The aged Chinese matriarch then backs away from the lascivious
Scotsman. "Now, now, Alexander...you stop that! Stop that!!"

"C'mere, love!" Alex charges at her.

"AAAAAH!!!!" Cologne howls as she runs away. "Alex!!! Help!!!"

The two have a merry chase around the Tendou home. Every time Alex
gets close, his shillelagh taps Cologne on the posterior, causing her to leap
up, screaming. Happousai rolls on the floor, howling with glee. Everyone
else shudders. "Great-grandma know strange people!" Shampoo muses.

Finally, after Souun placed several choice pieces of underwear in
front of the visiting Scotsman to calm him down (getting a taste of
Mallet-sama from Akane as a result!), Alex relaxes by the table. "Me friend
Hayao Sakurambou asked me tae come by ta tell ye about those bonnie lasses
from Sagussa," he draws on his pipe. "They be after Ataru Moroboshi,
alright, causin' all sorts o' ruckus in Tomobiki as a result! Hayao be
askin' Koosei Ryooki tae contact th' lassies tae find out what be a'goin' on
with th' six here! But I think they be a'cleanin' up th' mess wee Shinobu
dragged here!"

"Why?!" Akane wonders. "Shinobu meant no harm! It was the other
jerks' fault!!"

"Lass, ye dinnae can see th' future like I can," Alex's eyes narrow.
"Ye see, there's this one hangover from them troubles ye had before...and wi'
his being here, more's gonna come. Ye'll need th' Sagussans tae clean it up
if ye dinnae want to experience what Tomobiki goes through every day!"

"That's trouble," Genma grimly muses.

Suddenly, the door opens. "Hey!! Did someone leave this out here?!"

Everyone sees six women dressed in their duty jumpsuits. "Uncanny!"
Souun gasps.

An unconscious Ranma is now draped over Ranma-chan's shoulder.
"Sorry to bother you," Akane-chan bows. "May we come in?"

* * *

"An alien spy in Nerima?!" Souun gasps.

After Ranma recovers and reverts to his male form, the Sagussans sit
across from their hosts. "That's right," Akane-chan nods. "He must be the
leftover from the group who tried to convert Shinobu into her 'Kali' future-
self. We're not sure where he is, given he hasn't operated a transmitter
since we've been here. Thus, we're forced to carry out a ground search. To
ensure no difficulties, we were chosen because of our close resemblance to
our spirit- sisters native to here."

"No close!" Shampoo growls. "Shampoo no have pointed ears, nor talk
funny!!"

"Y'all listen ta yourself, honey?" Shampoo-chan icily hums.

They exchange glares, lightning flashing between them. "I for one am
glad someone's come to clean this place!" Akane nods. "The idea of mad
lunatics running around hurting people scares me! If Akane-chan and the
others are here to deal with them, let them!"

"Agreed," Genma nods. "We've challenged and defeated the best our
race can throw at us! But threats from other worlds is another thing! Look
what happened when Hinako tried to absorb Azusa's combat energy."

"I just gave Hinako-chan the necessary...*push* to remain an adult,"
Azusa seductively winks at the teacher.

Hinako sputters, hiding behind Souun. "Be that as it may, our
inexperience in dealing with Terrans will hamper us," Akane-chan continues.
"Ranma and Ukyou were born here, but like us all, when we were re-born as
*daishi'cha,* we were mentally programmed to espouse Sagussan social and
cultural beliefs. Scant few of us have first-contact experience with other
races. Due to the speed by which rumour and innuendo spreads, those who do
are well known. Hence, we needed to contact you as soon as possible for
assistance."

"I see," Souun muses. "Well, given your race's past record in
dealing with ours, I suppose we could help."

"Wonderful!" Akane-chan claps her hands. "We'll get along famously!"

"Well, now that's settled, how about lunch?" Kasumi proposes.

Everyone nods approvingly...

* * *

"No exchange of information?!" Takanaba gazes at the phone. "What
madness is this?!"

"Very simple, Takanaba-san," the other end replied. "The Sagussans
were swift to determine what happened. They warned the United Nations that
under no circumstances will any exchange of technology be permitted unless it
is under the strictest of controls. Even contemplating that is in violation
of their Non-Interference Directive. After what nearly happened to Shinobu
Miyaki..."

"Thank you!" the businessman snaps, hanging up the phone. "Damn!!"

The operation involving Shinobu had been a disaster. That just on
the heels of the "Tripwire Incident" gave that strange world of young, naive
alien women tremendous influence in the United Nations. An Earth-Sagussa
treaty was coming, no doubt about that. But this treaty would ensure
individuals like him would never benefit from Sagussan technology. Having
observed their weapons and other equipment at work made Takanaba salivate.
Now, his dreams were dust. Even his nanite project was gone, mysteriously
wiped out some time before Shinobu's planned kidnapping.

The telephone rings again. "Yes!?" Takanaba barks.

"We should meet sometime soon," a familiar voice announces...

* * *

Hitomi retraces her route to the abandoned restaurant. Fungi had
little money reserved when he was cut off from Phentax Two. Supporting him
proved easy. Her part-time job gave her a considerable stipend. Further,
after the mess with Shinobu, Noa passed on a considerable amount of Sagussan
gold coins, several million yen's worth at present value, to her family to pay
for damages from the battle over her cousin. The Miyakis accepted it without
complaining; perhaps this was the Sagussan way of apologizing for the many
pains they inadvertently unleashed on Shinobu.

Knocking at the door, she waits. She is unaware of the person reading
a newspaper across the street watching her. The door opens a second later,
revealing her Niphentaxian boyfriend. "Hi, Hitomi-chan!" he beams, embracing
her. "C'mon in!"

"Thanks," she follows Fungi into his living room, once the
restaurant's dining room. "What've you been doing?"

"Getting my computer back on-line," he sits on a futon, keying
several controls to the hybrid Terran-Niphentaxian computer sitting on the
floor nearby. "So far, all the links are working alright. No one's detected
me as of yet, unless the Sagussans have passive monitors in the system and
they're keeping quiet. But...I found this."

Hitomi blinks, then pales as a familiar title flashes on the screen:
THE SHRINE OF KALI-SHINOBU. "Oh, gods, not that again!!"

"Masaki Taga wasn't the only one who had back-up diskettes of this
filth stashed away," Fungi grimaces. "I'm trying to trace the new server
location. Once I do, I can shut it down. But we'll have to locate the
diskettes this is stored on to finally eradicate all hopes of that monster
ever coming to life."

Hitomi nods. Fungi had told her about his friends. While loyal to
the Church of Lum, then later to Kali, they were really no different than
herself. Thrown together because of peer pressure, sticking to each other's
side in an alien landscape, believing they knew it all. Youthful enthusiasm;
the team's leader herself was in her mid-twenties. And they paid for it.
Either drained of their living energy by Kali or gunned down by the rival
teams that bloody night.

Suffering survivor's guilt, Fungi was driven to ensure that Kali
would never exist. Hitomi supported him as best she could, but there was only
so much she could do. Niphentaxians were loathed by the United Nations...not
to mention the Sagussans, now unseating the Urusians as the dominant force
shielding this world. Hitomi didn't mind. The Sagussans she met were nice
people despite their initial distrust of any relation to Shinobu. In fact,
Priss recently told Hitomi a petition was being passed around to get people's
approval for Shinobu to live on Sagussa, be part of their dawning society.

Could she ask about Fungi? Would they listen to her or, fearing a
possible threat against Ataru, lash out and hurt him beloved before
understanding he was different than Oogi's ilk? Hitomi sighs. Very few
remained on Earth given what just happened. Pathfinder Troop Six were in
Tomobiki, guarding against any Vosian incursions there. The "Hasei'cha" was
in orbit over Oshika, protecting Nassur's wife during her pregnancy. Gazing
at Fungi, Hitomi sighs. She had to try.

"Shut that off," she gently embraces him from behind. "You're
working yourself into a lather. It's time to rest for now."

"I have to do this, Hitomi-chan..."

"No!" she forcefully insists. "Your race's big problem is that you
focus yourself on one thing so intently, you don't pay attention to more
important matters. I don't think your friends would want that, Fungi-kun.
Don't compound their mistake by hurting yourself. If you do that, you're
letting Oogi win. You're letting Kali win!"

He thinks, then nods, shutting off his machine. "You're right. But
I...I still don't know anything about those other groups who came after
Shinobu- san. If I don't learn, I don't think she'll be really safe."

"Save it," she kisses the tip of his ear.

He gently draws her to him, their lips passionately caressing. The
observer outside smiles, folds up his paper, then heads off...

* * *

"'Morning!" Akane calls out as she descends from her bedroom,
sniffing the air. "Wow!! What smells so good?!"

"I don't know," Souun looks up from his go game with Genma. "Kasumi
must be cooking up a storm this morning!"

"Good morning, Father, Mr. Saotome, Akane," Kasumi then descends from
her bedroom.

Everyone spins around to gaze at the elder Tendou daughter.
"Kasumi!" Souun gasps. "But if you're there, who's in the kitchen?!"

"I've no idea," Kasumi innocently shrugs.

"Good morning, everyone!!" Akane-chan emerges from the kitchen, a
tray with a virtual feast in hand. "Breakfast is on!"

Souun and Genma faint! "My!!" Kasumi blinks. "It looks delicious!"

"Thank you! I decided to give you a traditional Sagussan forenoon
meal as an ice-breaker. Where are the others?"

"Still asleep, I think," Akane sits down, then picks up a bowl of
broth filled with meat and rice, taking a sniff. "What's this?"

"Pyogh-giku," Akane-chan explains. "Broiled nightlizard meat with a
grain similar to what you call barley. Try it."

"Night-...LIZARD?!?!" Akane pales.

"Akane, your spirit-sister just went to a lot of trouble to feed us,"
Kasumi warns. "Besides, I don't think the Sagussans are so ignorant that
they'd inadvertently poison us."

Akane hums, then picks up a strip of pale meat. Taking a hesitant
bite, she blinks on the rich flavor, then digs in. "Wow!!" she gasps. "This
tastes just like pork!"

"Thank you, Akane-chan," Kasumi picks up her bowl, then proceeds to
eat.

Seeing the women enjoying the dish, Genma and Souun quickly dig in.
"Now, the others seem a little tardy," Akane-chan muses, then calls out, "P-
chan!! Come in here please!"

The Terrans gasp as a dark sandpanther walks into the living room,
questioningly growing. "P-chan, sweetie, do go upstairs and fetch the others
for forenoon," Akane-chan intones. "I have a stormwalker rib for you!"

Growling affirmatively, P-chan races upstairs. "Wh-wh-what was th-th-
that?!" Akane stammers, pointing after the sandpanther.

"P-chan, my sandpanther!" the Sagussan beams. "Isn't he cute?!"

"He's adorable!" Kasumi beams. "I've never seen a tiger with wings
before!"

"Tiger...?" Akane pales, then looks up.

An inhuman shriek echoes her words, followed by crashing noises and
Ranma-chan's screams. "YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!" Ranma races down the stairs
at top speeds, eyes wide with panic. "A CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!!"

Before the ailurophobic martial artist could escape, P-chan bounds
from upstairs, pinning Ranma. "Thank you, P-chan!" Akane-chan pulls out a
freshly cut stormwalker rib the size of her arm. "Here you go!!!"

The sandpanther catches the offering, then heads out to nibble.
"What was that thing?!!" Ranma bolts to his feet...

...and gets bashed down by Ranma-chan with a mallet marked ULTIMATE
IDIOT BASHER! "Stop yelling at Akane!!!"

"Where did you get that?" Genma wonders.

"Oh, this used to be Ataru's!" Ranma-chan takes her place, stowing
the sledgehammer. "He stopped using these things when he gained the ability
to transform into the Cyborg, so we get to use them!" Noticing the dish, she
beams. "Ah!! Time to eat!"

Akane-chan twitches with mild annoyance as Ranma-chan picks up her
bowl. "Ranma..."

"What...is it...Akane?" the latter mouths through bites.

"Where are your manners?" Akane-chan icily intones. "Not everyone is
at the table yet! Our hosts eat first, you know!"

"Oh," Ranma-chan licks her lips, refilling her bowl. "Kodachi's
already here with a picnic forenoon for Nabiki."

A shriek echoing from upstairs follows her statement. That is
followed by a panicked Nabiki racing through the living room still in her
nightgown, followed by Kodachi-chan with a picnic basket. "Nabiki-chan, come
back here!" the watchmistress cries. "I have your breakfast all ready for
you!"

"Leave me alone!!" Nabiki fearfully cries as they disappear out the
front door.

"Now, there's something you don't see every day," Souun muses.

"Agreed," Genma hums, then notices Ranma sitting still. "Boy, why
aren't you taking part in this lovely meal Akane cooked?!"

"Because she cooked it!!" Ranma snaps, not noticing the battle aura
forming around his spirit-sister. "Knowing her, it's probably so rotten,
we'll all get poisoned!!!"

Akane-chan looks hurt...then everyone shudders as Ranma-chan rises,
eyes ablaze with fury. "First, you yell at Akane, now you insult her
cooking?!" the watchmistress howls, fist cocked to strike. "You jerk,
DIE!!!!!!"

An explosion later sees Ranma buried head-first into the koi pond!!
"He definitely deserved that!" Genma muses.

"Agreed," Souun nods.

Akane-chan moans...

* * *

"You should be ashamed, Ranma!!" Akane-chan snaps later that
morning. "Pounding one of our hosts because my spirit-sister isn't proficient
in cooking!! What's with you?!"

Ranma-chan and her would-be bond-mate walk ahead of their namesakes
downtown, clad in casual civilians. Like her spirit-brother, she walks on the
fence. "Well, I can't help it if the lug doesn't appreciate good cooking,
especially your good cooking!!" she snarls, firing an icy glare at Ranma, then
returning to Akane-chan. "If he doesn't want to eat, he doesn't have to...but
he doesn't have to rub it into your face at the same time!!"

"Oh, you're impossible!!!" Akane-chan groans. "First, it was
Dakejinzou, then Bushi, then Elle, then Shinobu, then even Lum!! Every woman
I've taken a liking to, you either put into the medical station or chased
away!! Why can't you leave me alone?! Ukyou and Shampoo are throwing
themselves at you and you pretend they don't exist!!"

"Why should I want them?!" Ranma-chan leaps down from the fence,
staring at Akane-chan. "They drive me up the wall with their nightly
ambushes, their strip shows...Lyna, even sending their companion droids after
me! Why can't you accept the fact that I love you?!" she grasps her
companion's hand. "I've loved you since the day I was re-born!! What do
idiots like them have that I don't have?!"

"Charm, personality, tact, an even temper, culture...!" Akane-chan
rambles off, counting off on her fingers.

Looking like she was just stabbed in the heart, Ranma-chan fixes her
with a determined glare. "Okay! You want it that way?! Then you better be
prepared for this!!"

Akane-chan gasps as her senses detect Ranma-chan's psi-shields fall
away. *Mavan'shagh,* the one thing almost guaranteed to win Akane-chan over.

Unless someone gets into the way.

Or rather, two someones.

"No, you don't!!" Ukyou-chan growls as she and Shampoo-chan face the
object of their lust, now between Ranma-chan and her target.

"If y'all do that ta someone, it's gonna be me!!" Shampoo-chan vows.

"Hey!!!" Ranma-chan growls. "Get out of here, you idiots!! I'm busy
with Akane!!"

"Busy, huh?!" Ukyou-chan sneers. "This idiot wouldn't give you the
time of day, Ranma!" she points accusingly at Akane-chan, then leaps into her
would-be lover's arms. "But I'll give you ALL of me!!"

A mallet smacks into her head! "Says who?!" Shampoo-chan snarls.

The two face off, their battle auras rising ominously over the
district. "Man, and I thought I had problems!!" Ranma gasps.

Suddenly, Ukyou-chan and Shampoo-chan spin on Ranma-chan, hands
darting to undo their shirt tops. "Ranma, honey, it's time for y'all to
choose which one y'all really want!" the latter sweetly smiles.

"Right now!!" the former licks her lips.

Sensing their psi-shields starting to drop, Ranma-chan emits a
shriek. "YEAHHH!!!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!! AKANE, HELP!!!!!!"

She races off. "COME BACK HERE!!!!!!" her would-be bondmates race
off in pursuit.

Leaving a very embarrassed Akane-chan with her spirit-sister and
Ranma. "This is going to be a disaster!" the Sagussan moans.

"How cute!!" Akane beams. "Ranma-chan's so chivalrous!"

"How would you know?!" Ranma sneers.

Mallet-sama answers that!

* * *

Downtown, Nabiki window shops, having just returned from the betting
hall, winning a cool 500,000 yen from three races. Well, the property taxes
were paid. However, monetary concerns weren't foremost in her mind as images
of her breakfast with Kodachi-chan replay. It was a scrumptious meal, cooked
with loving care. Nabiki enjoyed herself right to the point where she even
permitted her a kiss. Kodachi was searching for the missing spy, promising to
be back for lunch.

*I have until then to figure out a way out of this!* Nabiki shudders.
It wasn't that she was offended by Kodachi's interest. But Kodachi's naive
honesty had taken Nabiki off guard. If Kodachi had pushed the matter, Nabiki
could find herself surrendering to the Sagussan's advances. If that
happened, what would happen to her family? She had responsibilities. She
could not ignore them to pursue a relationship on a planet thousands of
parsecs away! Nabiki sighs. Rationalizing a relationship was not her strong
suit. Finances were better; numbers were easier to comprehend than the twists
and turns of one's heart.

A stampede gets her attention. Turning, she sees Ranma-chan race
down the street, Ukyou-chan and Shampoo-chan on her tail. Right behind them
was Kunou screaming for his pig-tailed goddess. Then came Ryouga Hibiki (who
probably didn't know of the Sagussans' presence) screaming at Ranma for
hurting Akane. Then Mousse, with glasses on forehead, pining for Shampoo.
Then Konatsu pining for Ukyou (also not realizing the woman before her was
her Sagussan spirit-sister). Then Kodachi Kunou in martial arts uniform
screaming challenges to Ranma. Mr. Kunou with a razor ready to shear Ranma's
pig-tail. Then Ranma, Akane and Akane-chan, trying desperately to calm
everyone down. "Don't they ever stop?" Nabiki sighs as she turns away.

"I see everyone's pretty energetic today," a voice comments.

"'Morning, Sensei," Nabiki smiles as Hinako approaches. "Get much
sleep?"

"Actually, I did," the teacher admits. "But this morning, Azusa
showed up out of nowhere with breakfast and fed me. It was...actually
enjoyable."

"Ditto with Kodachi and me," Nabiki admits. "Like it or not, they
are serious."

They exchange looks. "Oh, my! You mean you actually find
Kodachi...?" Hinako blinks.

"Yep," Nabiki nods. She would normally not admit such feelings to
anyone, preferring to maintain a cool, detached demeanor. But shared pain
meant shared healing. "I mean, I really can't see myself doing anything with
her. I can't give her what she wants...but I'm damned if I can't see a way
out of this. I can guess you're the same way."

"I am," Hinako nods. "I am in love...but it's your father I desire,
Nabiki, not some alien girl like Azusa. At the same time, I have Azusa to
thank for freezing me as an adult. It feels wonderful to think and act like I
am, not like what was forced on me."

"If we reject them, we break their hearts," Nabiki sighs. "And I've
heard what happens when a Sagussan goes nuts over a heartbreak. Shinobu heard
a rumour about Priss, the coxswain of Pathfinder Troop Six. When her lover
Sugoi was badly hurt, she went ballistic...then butchered everyone related to
those who hurt her. Shit, I don't want Kodachi to do the same thing!"

Suddenly, a noise is heard. Panting. Someone is struggling for
breath nearby. They turn to see Ranma-chan stagger up. "Ranma!!" Hinako
gasps. "Are you alright?"

"Oh, Lyna, they're impossible!" the watchmistress struggles for
oxygen. "Just managed to ditch them! Shit, where'd the rest of that marathon
come from?!"

"That's normal here," Nabiki admits.

Ranma-chan stares quizzically at the two Terrans, sensing the
emotional upheavals they have endured. "Uh-oh. Something tells me that you
two're a little bit confused about Kodachi and Azusa, eh?"

Both blink, then nod. "You might say that," Hinako admits.

"Well, that's understandable," the Sagussan stretches herself. "I
mean, I am grateful that Kodachi is after someone else; she's as bad as Ukyou
and Shampoo at times. But I am sympathetic to your problem. Neither of you
are Sagussan, so you really can't comprehend what drives us."

At that moment, Ranma walks up, now drenched and female. Behind her
is Akane and Akane-chan. "Damn!! Where's the old freak from?!" Ranma wrings
the water from her top. "Why can't he learn to mind his own business?"

"He is odd," Akane-chan muses.

"'Odd?!'" Ranma snaps. "Try perverted!"

"Where're the others?!" Nabiki wonders.

"Off chasing their own things," Akane sighs. "We hope..."

"PIG-TAILED GIRL!!!!!!"

Everyone spins around to see Kunou standing there, wide-eyed on
seeing TWO Ranma-chans and TWO Akane Tendous. "What is this?!" he exclaims,
grabbing his hair. "Have I now come to see double?!! Has my desire for Akane
Tendou and the virtuous pig-tailed one driven me to see them everywhere I
go?!! Oh, the agony, the agony...!!"

Ranma-chan and Akane-chan exchange looks, then slip over to the
kendoist's side. "Kunou-san, don't fret," the former coos. "We'll be more
than happy to quell the tremors in your heart. Right, Akane?"

"Of course we will, Ranma," the latter smiles. "It's terrible that
someone with such passion as yourself must suffer in silence without a place
to release those passions. Shall we go somewhere, Kunou-san?"

Shuddering at his luck, Kunou escorts the Sagussans away. "Man, are
they blind?!" Ranma wonders. "They actually like that jerk?"

"Makes you wonder," Akane muses.

Nabiki and Hinako stare at the Sagussans, then exchange knowing
looks...

* * *

"Oh, no, this can't be happening!!" Hitomi gasps as she watches Kunou
head off with Ranma-chan and Akane-chan. Shinobu had told her about once
seeing a double of herself at the close of the Spirit War. Now seeing near-
perfect doubles of Ranma and Akane told her one thing: the Sagussans were
back in town. Undoubtedly looking for Fungi. Fretting, Shinobu's cousin
heads for her home. She had to contact someone to ensure that no harm would
befall her boyfriend.

Unseen by her, an observer notes the Sagussans' presence, then heads
off. Other powers had to be notified of this...

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

"What happened was inexcusable!" Baron Suzuki growls, gazing at his
rock garden. "It should have been a simple extraction. Now the Sagussans are
aware of us and are conspiring with the United Nations to destroy our plans.
We must act swiftly if we are to regain control of the situation."

"It's useless to continue with old ideas," Takanaba sighs. The
financier had come to Suzuki's residence right away. "The Sagussans may be a
naive group of women, but they aren't stupid. Their high-browed morals have
infected the Secretary-General and the world leadership. More so with the
growing threat from Uru's Imperialists. A treaty between Earth and Sagussa is
coming and soon. But you rest assured that the treaty will prevent any
exchange of technology. Their Non-Interference Directive and all that..." he
makes a dismissive wave.

The militarist shudders, working at maintaining calm. It was hard.
The lovely Lady Katana slain, her body vanished from the Tendou dojo. Her
younger self now missing, kidnapped by a barbaric alien dictator, who left a
thermonuclear bomb in Tokyo in hopes of ensuring the alien bounty
hunter-roonin Nassur would do his bidding. The Sagussans aware of the
Suzuki-Takanaba plot. Nothing seemed to make sense now. "You and I came
together despite our different goals," the baron sighs. "Now, neither of us
can pursue them because of one group of people. Our next act, therefore,
must discredit the Sagussans."

"How do we do that?" Takanaba wonders. "After Oshio, the Tripwire
thing and who knows what else, the Sagussans can do no wrong."

"Not so, Takanaba-san," Suzuki smiles. "My agents in Nerima have
reported that an orphaned Niphentaxian observer is still operating there. And
now, a group of Sagussan agents are in that district. Opportunity has come
back to us, if we can just take it."

The financier blinks. "Please, go on..."

* * *

Satoshi Yoshikazu steps into the small apartment, two bags of
groceries in hand. "Hey, guys!" he calls out. "I'm back!"

"About time!" Atsushi Tsuruga yells from the kitchen. "Did you get
the stuff?"

"Yeah! Where's Masayuki?"

"With those three," Atsushi nods to the spare bedroom. "Who knows
what he's doing."

Satoshi moans. It had been a crazy two weeks. First, the Chem Club
encountered their dream goddess, Shinobu Miyaki. Then, it was discovered
that the members were the masters of the "Shrine of Kali-Shinobu." The
closing down of their base at Furinkan High, forced them to relocate to this
private apartment in the east end of Nerima. The scorn heaped on them by
their parents and friends over their private lusts. The hesitant reopening
of the "Shrine" on a new, less scrupulous server.

And then...they came.

Satoshi heads into the bedroom. On a futon to one side slept a
middle-aged brown-haired woman, physically well toned. Even asleep, she
projected a reserved, dignified demeanor. Another futon across the way held
another woman with long, shocking white hair and eyes which seemed older than
time. A third in the middle held a third woman, tantalizingly young and
sensual in ways Satoshi found impossible to describe, pale skinned, almost
like a living porcelain doll.

And all...once called themselves Shinobu.

Sitting beside the doll was the club's leader, Masayuki Takuma, who
strokes her hair, conflicting emotions flashing from his eyes. While they
all worked creating Kali's shrine, Masaki Taga was the heart and soul of the
group. They had once even been tempted to call themselves "Shinobu's
Bodyguards" before Masaki's twisted lusts snared the others into helping him
create Kali's shrine. Now, sans leader and with their peers aware of their
actions, the high school graduates felt lost. Having these versions of
Shinobu drop into their lives just complicated matters.

After Masaki's passing, the three had met to take stock of their
lives. Resurrecting Kali's shrine was easy; all of them had backup diskettes
of photos and stories, plus access to local servers who didn't care about what
people put on the World Wide Web. However, without Masaki, the others soon
realized the heart of the organization was gone. Yes, they still lusted after
Shinobu...but their leader's death and their exposure had thrown ice water on
their libidos.

Then they came.

It was the night of the repeating blackout. As the three waited for
power to return, they heard a knock downstairs. Atsushi answered it...to
confront a Shinobu dressed in fantastic armour with a brutal cut across her
midsection. In fact, the cut went all around her, as if she had been sliced
in half. Before Atsushi could say anything, she collapsed into his arms.
Naturally, he dragged her upstairs, stripped her of the armour and
administered first aid. Five minutes later, Satoshi answered the door.
There stood the white-haired Shinobu dressed in trenchcoat and well-worn
clothes, a dark spot on her chest and back akin to a gunshot wound. Five
minutes after, Masayuki greeted the doll, dressed in seductive black leather,
hideously burned almost beyond recognition.

As the three were stored in the spare bedroom, their wounds healed.
The three boys debated what to do...when a strange voice told them these women
were in fact versions of Shinobu of the far future, having returned in time to
ensure their younger self would evolve in the direction they represented.
Then, by means no one understood, they were shown what futures these three
represented.

Atsushi's Shinobu called herself Lady Katana. She came from a time
where Japanese militarists had taken power, using alien technology to subvert
all Western-based social and cultural mores in hopes of restoring the Japan of
the Tokugawas.

Satoshi's Shinobu was Scalphunter. Crown princess of an alien
principality called Kyotos, she was a blood-thirsty killer, bent on a
revenge- quest against non-Terrans after losing her twins thanks to Lum and
her Sagussan lover Noa.

Masayuki's Shinobu was Kali. The direct descendant of the Chem
Club's perverted fantasies united with Niphentaxian influences, she was an
immortal energy vampire, a lust-driven engine of destruction who looked on the
galaxy as her private playground.

The strange voice then said it was a fragment of a fourth Shinobu
called Mecha, a symbiotic composed of nanites who had returned in time to
prevent her younger self from becoming her. Separated from the whole when
Mecha self-terminated, the nanites busied themselves rebuilding and
reprogramming the others, ensuring they would never again plague humanity.
Something about the bio-energy the others produced had interfered with the
nanites' original programming, which demanded they destroy these three once
and for all.

The Chem Club were caught in a quandary over their guests. Hearing
about those nightmarish futures changed their perceptions. They were drifting
toward shutting down Kali's shrine, having only rebuilt it out of a fading
loyalty to Masaki Taga. At present, they were preparing for university. Now
they had these three. They couldn't abandon them.

"Atsushi-kun, c'mon over!" Satoshi calls out. "Let's talk!"

His words awaken the women. "Satoshi-san," Scalphunter smiles,
slowly rising, arm out to embrace him as he sits beside her.

"Masayuki-chan, why don't you do something more with me?" Kali then
stares at the man beside her, sitting up.

Atsushi walks in, sitting beside Katana, who allowed him to draw her
into an embrace. "Guys," Masayuki begins. "Two weeks ago, we really weren't
doing much with ourselves. We allowed our dreams and fantasies to create
something we thought was cool then. However, after what we experienced, I
think it's time we put aside the past and move to something constructive. We
have a responsibility to ourselves...but more importantly, we have a
responsibility to Shinobu Miyaki. I say we shut down the Shrine right now and
get rid of everything associated with it."

"I agree," Satoshi nods.

"So do I," Atsushi sighs. "Now...what do we do with them?" he nods
at their guests. "Shit knows, people around here don't look too kindly at
Shinobu. We're part of the reason why. Seeing three versions of her running
around isn't going to do us good especially if word's out about what they came
to do."

"True," Masayuki sadly nods. Of course, they were all pleased that
Fate handed them a Shinobu Miyaki to be his personal companion. But lusting
for someone was worlds different than actually having her.

"May we propose something?"

"Mecha!" Satoshi blinks.

"Affirmative," that voice responds from thin air. "We've configured
our counterparts' neural pathways to ensure all Entropic thoughts they
possessed are eliminated. We could restructure them physically to prevent any
suspicion that they are in fact variations of our younger self, thus reducing
the chance of outside attention falling on you."

"Well, that seems a good idea," Atsushi muses. "Let's see what we
can do."

"Hold it!" Satoshi cuts in. "First, we shut the Shrine down. Then
we'll worry about what we do with our friends."

The others nod...

* * *

"What's this?!" Fungi blinks.

The Niphentaxian watches a message flash on his screen. Someone was
shutting down the Shrine of Kali-Shinobu, for good it seemed. The message
stated that the operators would not bring the shrine back, though no reason is
given. Fungi then programs a cyber-mouse, a special hunter-killer program
which could travel through the Internet to examine another computer's files,
then sends it off. A reply comes a minute later. Not only was the Shrine
gone, but all files pertaining to it had been erased from the host computer.

Silence falls over the room as Fungi considers what to do next. He
could send a modified cyber-mouse to locate the computer in question so he
investigate on-site. Whoever had constructed the Shrine might just be
relocating, using the message they transmitted to deceive Net surfers and
local censorship officers as to their true intentions. If so, he had to
prevent it from coming back on line.

His friends wouldn't rest until he did...

* * *

"Hey, it's gone!" Nene blinks confusedly.

"What is?" Priss looks back.

"The Kali-Shinobu Shrine," Pathfinder Troop Six's computer expert
reports. "Just deleted itself from the Net. Message here says they won't
bring it back."

"Doubtful!" the Troop coxswain snorts. "They're probably hooking up
to a new server. Hey, Nene, trace down where they are!"

"Right," her fingers fly over the board.

Priss sighs, then stares at the women before her. "Sorry about
that. We're cleaning up the mess created by those perverts in Nerima. What
can I do for you two?"

Nabiki and Hinako exchange looks, then face the Sagussan. "Well,
Priss-san...since your friends came, Kodachi and Azusa have taken
interest...in us!" the former begins.

"Whoa!" Priss whistles. "You mean Kodachi actually had eyes for
someone other than Ranma? Impossible!"

"Well, it's not just impossible, it's happening!" Hinako cuts in.
"But...while Nabiki and I're flattered, we can't commence serious
relationships. So...we were wondering if you could find..." she pauses.

"Doubles of us!" Nabiki completes.

"Ah!!" Priss nods understandingly. "Hey, that's cool! Not
everyone's fit to make the migration. Well, then..." she pulls out a mini-
camera and takes snots of the Terrans. "Once Nene finishes with the Kali
thing, we'll send a signal back home for your spirit-sisters if you have them.
Fair enough?"

"Thank you!" both beam.

"What the...?!" Nene's voice interrupts.

"What is it?" Priss looks over.

"Someone's checking this place out. "Using a very sophisticated
cyber-mouse, way too complicated for Terran systems. I think I just might've
found our missing Niphentaxian."

"Great!" Priss smiles. "Soon as you know where he is, relay the
location to Ranma!"

"Gotcha!!"

* * *

"Could this work?" Takanaba wonders.

Suzuki icily smiles. "The Niphentaxians are all low-born, worthless
dregs who will be excellent slaves in our plans. One of my observers in
Nerima has located a survivor of the group once located there, the one that
supported that abomination of Shinobu-san calling itself Kali. According to
them, it seems this fellow, Fungi, has decided to turn from his masters, seek
a life here on Earth. He even has a native lover, Shinobu-san's cousin
Hitomi Miyaki. Now, we know how fanatic the Niphentaxians are in their
worship of Lum. It takes just a veiled threat against Lum to set them into
action."

"How do you propose to do that?"

"Fortunately, this Mikado handed us the perfect opportunity. We
shall let it be known to other Niphentaxian groups in the Tokyo area that
Fungi helped the Vosians kidnap the Oni in hopes of slaying her, thus
vaulting Shinobu-san to supremacy in their religion. You know what will
happen next."

"They'll come to Nerima," Takanaba nods appreciatively. "So hell
bent on avenging their 'goddess,' they'll tear the district apart looking for
Fungi. And when they do..."

"The Sagussans come to the 'rescue!'" Suzuki smiles. "And given the
enmity between the two races, Armageddon will result. I don't think many
people will cherish the idea of aliens operating outside Tomobiki, in direct
defiance of Resolution 444."

"Negative propaganda would then be inserted in the media...and once
that happens, public opinion would turn against them," Takanaba concludes.
"And with that, the public would pressure the government to demand that the
United Nations force the Sagussans to mollify their demands. Perhaps insist
on technological transfer..."

"Further, we could recoup our losses by seizing technology during the
battle," Suzuki adds. "You see, we let them do all the work and pick up the
pieces at the end."

"Brilliant! Now, how soon..."

"Forgive me, sirs," an aide walks up, bowing to the baron. "Mr. Lee
is back."

Suzuki and Takanaba are surprised. "Send him in," the former orders.

A moment later, a very pale man appears. "My sincerest apologies for
not contacting you in such a long time," he bows. "While my relative was
recovering, I heard of the tragic affair in Nerima. I believed it prudent to
withhold my counsel from you until such time as the Sagussans were distracted
by other problems before re-initiating contact."

"Very prudent, Mr. Lee. I trust your relative has recovered," Suzuki
returns the bow. Again, he found it hard to look the visitor in the eye.
"You're just in time. Takanaba-san and I were discussing a possible operation
against those same Sagussans."

"I see," Lee nods, remaining neutral. "Then how may I be of
assistance?"

* * *

An hour later, a dark limousine with tinted windows carries Mr. Lee
from the Suzuki estate. Relaxing in the back seat, the pale man sighs, then
deactivates his holographic projector bracelet, revealing Reinoevan. "How was
the meeting, Miss Rei?" Denpatan Kitei wonders from the front seat.

"It seems the baron and Takanaba-san haven't learned their lesson,"
Pathfinder Troop Six's first officer frowns. Since Noa had been dispatched
to watch over Ataru and Lum, the Troop, either Nene or Rei, had taken over
playing Mr. Lee. "We'll have to bring Nagaiwakai-sama into this. She
possesses the clout to stop them. In the meantime, Ranma and the others'll
have to be appraised of their new plans. Take me to Tomobiki so we can
switch cars, then to Nerima."

"Hai," the Kuromoroboshi steers the car toward Tokyo...

* * *

"We found him!!" Ranma-chan grins.

Akane-chan is grooming P-chan with her spirit-sister on the front
porch. "Who?!"

"The spy," Ranma smiles. "His name's Fungi. He's part of the crowd
who backed Kali. He's living in a restaurant in the middle of town! Wanna
scout it out?!"

"Good!" Akane-chan bolts to her feet. "This'll be settled in a snap."

"Why don't you two go as Ranma and I?" Akane wonders. "Walking
around in such plain clothes'll attract attention just as quick as you guys
wearing your uniforms."

"Good point," Ranma nods. "Let's go!"

* * *

"So, they're there!" Fungi smiles.

His second cyber-mouse had detected the address where the members of
the Furinkan High Chemical Club, Kali's creators, are hiding. It is a small
apartment in Nerima's east end. Not too far away. Perhaps he should go now,
scout the terrain, then plan for an insertion. Rising, the Niphentaxian
pulls out a baseball cap and a Walkman to disguise his ears, then moves to
the door. He opens it, then stops, seeing Hitomi there. "Hitomi-chan!!" he
gasps. "What are you doing here?!"

"Stay inside!" she pushes him in. "Are you stupid?! The Sagussans
are here!"

"What?! Why would they be here?!"

"Idiot!! Don't you remember what your people almost did to my cousin
on Phentax Twelve?! The attempted invasion three months ago?! The Sagussans
have more than enough reasons to hate you! I'm not sure if I can persuade
them to leave you alone!! Running around like that's going to get you
killed!"

"I found where the shrine's operators are!" Fungi reports.

"Where?!"

Fungi scribbles an address, then hands the paper to her. "There.
It's an apartment. I need to look at this place, find out what's going on.
Now, they just deleted themselves from the Net, saying they aren't coming
back...but we can't know that until everything involved with that abomination
is gone."

Hitomi stares at the address, recognition dawning. "I know who lives
here!" she gasps. "I know these guys. They aren't so bad..."

"Hitomi-chan, they teamed up with Masaki Taga to create Kali,
remember?" Fungi reminds her. "What you might think they're like is what they
want you to think of them. We have to make sure. This isn't just for me and
my friends, it's for everyone who has any connection to Shinobu-san. And
you're pretty high up on the list."

Silence falls as Hitomi considers the point, then nods. "Okay.
Let's go...but don't do anything crazy, okay?!"

"Okay," he nods.

The two head out...

* * *

"This information you give us...can it actually be true?" Odao
wonders.

Like his companions, the Niphentaxian agent from Shinjiku
suspiciously eyes Baron Suzuki and Takanaba. "It is," the baron nods. "We
know how much your people revere Lum. In the interests of fostering peaceful
relations between our peoples, we are presenting you with the truth. The way
the team looked on Shinobu Miyaki, worshipped her, disgusted me as I'm sure it
would disgust your superiors. Most of them are dead, eliminated by my agents.
One still lives." With that, he passes a file folder to Odao.

The Niphentaxian frowns on seeing Fungi's picture. "I know this
one. Fungi pretends to be loyal to the Goddess, while in truth, he spits on
Her Holy Teachings. He would rather withdraw from the Church, seek out a path
of heresy which could destroy us if it infected others." He then glares at
Suzuki. "But what is your interest in this?"

"Truthfully, I despise the presence of all aliens," Suzuki fixes Odao
with a stare. "You people believe yourselves superior to us just because you
entered space long before we had the chance to explore our moon. Further, you
seek to manipulate us in directions which could bring disaster to us, all to
serve one person. One whom, I should add, is actively targeted by the Urusian
Imperialists in hopes of making her their slave Empress. Place yourselves in
our position, Odao-san. How would you feel if the Sagussans decided they had
enough of your venerating their leader's fiancee, then tried to destroy you?"

"Those harpies!" Odao spits. "They've interfered with us for the
final time!!"

"We have heard a rumour from one of our agents," Takanaba adds. "He
has connections penetrating deep into the Moroboshi Clan, all the way to the
Lady Nagaiwakai. He heard expatriates from your planet have forged an
alliance with Uru's Democratic Alliance and the Avalonians in hopes of seeing
your church destroyed. While we have no confirmation of this, it can be
surmised the Sagussans support such a plan, seeing them as natural allies in
their quest to destroy the Church of Lum and cripple the Niphentaxian
Union...a prequel, I suppose, to their destroying the Urusian Imperialists
and fixing Lum on Sagussa's throne as Ataru Moroboshi's consort."

The Niphentaxians gasp. "Is this information valid?!" Odao growls.

"As valid as we can confirm," Suzuki sighs, grateful that Mr. Lee
passed on that tidbit. "As of now, six Sagussan agents are active in Nerima.
We've yet to detect who they are. However, Fungi can seek them out, request
asylum, then turn over whatever information he has about your operations in
Tokyo to the Sagussans. Once they have it, all of you will then be in severe
danger."

"Indeed," Odao nods, standing. "Thank you for your information,
Baron Suzuki, Takanaba-san. We shall be more than willing to act on this. If
we are successful, we might find it in our hearts to repay you for your
generosity. If you'll excuse us..."

"Certainly," Suzuki nods as the Niphentaxians depart. Once the
aliens were gone, he faces his ally. "Now, we wait."

"We should tell Mr. Lee," Takanaba warns. "With his connections deep
into the Moroboshi Clan, we could use him to...fan the flames?"

Suzuki nods...

* * *

"I am pleased the matter was resolved so quickly," Mr. Lee smiles.
"The Niphentaxians are a boorish lot, my lord. The Sagussans shan't find them
too much trouble. As for others, well..." he chuckles. "In the meantime, I
have other matters requiring my attention. I will contact you if something
further happens. Good day, sir."

Hanging up, "he" transforms back into Reinoevan. "Wonderful,"
Nagaiwakai Moroboshi muses, relaxing at Reigi Yumoa's desk in Tomobiki. Rei,
Reigi and the Moroboshi Clan matriarch had gathered to hear what the first
officer had discovered while under cover. "I know Yuusuke Suzuki. His father
died while he was a prisoner of the Americans after the war. As for Torizo
Takanaba, he's a piranha. He's always been after our secrets and the Mendous
in hopes of expanding his personal fortune."

"Which presents us difficulty since both possess considerable
political influence to press for things which won't benefit Earth in the long
run," Rei sighs. "Suzuki wants a return to Tokugawa days, subvert the rest
of Earth to Japan's leadership, then conquer local space, without a care for
what awaits him out there. Vengeance for the Americans' victory in 1945,
more or less. Takanaba has no morals outside of making money for himself,
uncaring of the social impact introducing alien technology could unleash
without the proper safeguards. We...believe they were behind two of the
future versions of Shinobu who came sometime ago, Mecha and Lady Katana."

"But they've been eliminated, along with the others," Reigi cuts in.
"Shinobu took care of the problem herself."

"True, although the bodies of three of them disappeared during that
night," Rei sighs. "Nagaiwakai, we have no experience dealing with Terran
threats. The American vice-president and your own prime minister told Ataru
that some time ago. We can stop the Niphentaxians without too much damage; it
all depends on them. But if Suzuki and Takanaba escape this unscathed, they
can come back anytime in the future to plague us anew."

"It's time they're embarrassed enough to rethink their priorities,"
Nagaiwakai stands, walking to the window to gaze at the cityscape beyond the
Toranoseishin Finances tower.

Dealing with alien threats was easy. Sagussa and Zephyrus were
almost always around to keep matters under control. Nagaiwakai had been
horrified to learn of the Mikado's recent actions. She was tempted to call
the Holy Father and press for a revoking of the treaty between the Holy
Republic and the Vosian Confederation. With that gone, a ship could be
dispatched to rescue Ataru and his friends, then the Inquisition would punish
the Mikado agents involved. However, shortly after, Sylia told her that Noa
was going out to watch over matters, agreeing to Nassur's request to back off
until Ataru and the others were safe. Nagaiwakai didn't like it but she
would cooperate since it was Nassur who had asked them, promising them a
chance to get even with the Mikado when everyone was safe.

But now, other problems loomed. The United Nations had decided to
make a treaty with the one galactic power the others couldn't bully.
Nagaiwakai was proud of Ataru; her grandson would soon become the king of a
planet. One which, to Nagaiwakai's delight, had no concept like marriage. A
slap in Lum's face, perfect vengeance for all the trouble the Oni had caused
her Darling. However, to ensure that the Earth-Sagussa treaty would work,
those who would manipulate matters against the Sagussans had to be done away
with. Staring with Suzuki and Takanaba.

Nagaiwakai and Reigi exchange looks. "I think there's a way," the
former sighs. "Reigi-chan, do you have an idea of the value of the stocks in
Takanaba's company?"

"They're running low right now," Reigi calls up the information on
his computer. "Many shareholders are losing interest in him. While he's been
good at keeping secrets, rumours about his underhanded dealings with aliens
have started to circulate."

Rei smiles; Noa...or Mr. Lee...had been the cause of those rumours,
setting them into motion just before leaving Earth to support Nassur. "How
much?" Nagaiwakai wonders.

"Say...ten billion for a seventy-percent share of all stocks on the
Tokyo bourse?" Reigi runs a calculation. "It would make us undisputed."

"Not us," Nagaiwakai cuts in at that time. "I'll float some money
over, say half. Rei, would your people provide the rest?"

"We could explain back home this as laying the groundwork for the
treaty," the first officer muses. "Taking out a threat before it becomes too
dangerous. We'll inform Angus McTavish of this at least. He'll want to
know...and I'm sure he'll stay silent on the matter, until it's too late for
Mr. Takanaba, that is. As for Baron Suzuki, we'll have to be a little more
open in dealing with him. His organization is actually quite fragile, easily
shattered if the right media coverage is shone on his friends."

"Excellent," Nagaiwakai nods. "I can handle that. Reigi-chan, I
want the name of that young speculator, the real hot one you told me about.
What's her name again...?"

Reigi smiles. "Nabiki Tendou."

* * *

"Here it is," Hitomi sighs.

The apartment shared by the former Chem Club members is located in a
back alley some distance from downtown. A single door led onto a small
cul-de- sac, a row of flowers protecting the windows from outside viewers.
Pulling out his scanner, Fungi sweeps the site. "A living room, kitchen, two
bedrooms, bathroom," he stares at the readings. "Six lifeforms inside, all
Terran, three males, three females. One computer with modem."

"Okay, we've looked it over," Hitomi stares at him. "Can we get out
of here now?"

"No. We have to confront them, tell them the truth about what
they're doing. If we can stop them, all the better for us."

"Fungi-kun...!"

"Hitomi-chan," he gently embraces her. "We have to do this. I want
to do it now."

Silence for a moment, then Hitomi nods. With that, she proceeds to
the front door, delivering a sharp knock. The Niphentaxian walks out of
sight, lowering his cap to better disguise himself. A moment later, the door
opens, revealing Satoshi. "Yes, can I help...Hitomi?! What are you doing
here?"

"Hi, Satoshi! Can I come in?"

"Ah...just a minute," he slips inside.

Hitomi waits for a moment, then Satoshi waves her in. Stepping into
the living room, she notices Atsushi and Masayuki are sitting by the computer.
"Hi, Hitomi," the latter smiles, bowing to her. "Here, make yourself
comfortable. We're glad you're here."

Hitomi is surprised at their friendly candor. "You're not going to
ask me to pose for your stupid webpage, are you?"

"No," Masayuki sighs. "First of all, I'd like to apologize for the
trouble we caused your cousin. We...contributed to the Kali Shrine, but we
didn't come up with the idea. Much that I shouldn't speak ill of the dead, it
was Masaki who started the whole thing. We tagged along. When he died, we
finally found it in ourselves to let go of that nonsense. So...we'd like you
to witness something."

"What?" Hitomi blinks.

Atsushi picks up a small garbage can full of computer diskettes mixed
with newsprint. "All of these are our diskettes holding the pictures, texts
and everything concerning the Kali Shrine," he shows it to Hitomi, then taking
it outside, pulls out a box of matches.

A second later, the diskettes burn in the can. The four Furinkan
High students watch this. "Now, the Kali Shrine is gone," Masayuki sighs.
"Once and for all time."

Hitomi blinks. There seemed no regret in their eyes, no desire to
hide some remnants of the filth they let loose. True repentance. "Wait right
here," she interrupts, then calls out. "Fungi-kun. Come see this!"

The three men notice a tall young man approach. "What?" he wonders.

"Look. Your friends can rest now."

Fungi stares at the fire. "All of them?"

"All of them," Hitomi nods.

The Chem Club members notice the newcomer's ears. "Holy shit, he's
an alien!!" Satoshi gasps, pointing at Fungi.

"That's right," the Niphentaxian stares evenly at them. "Thanks to
you plus certain traits my race possesses in abundance, my friends are dead
thanks to a monster..."

"Kali," Masayuki cuts in.

Silence. "You know?" Hitomi blinks.

"About Kali, Scalphunter, Lady Katana and Mecha," Atsushi nods. "All
of them, Hitomi-san. The first three came back in time to change your
cousin's destiny, alter it to better suit their tastes. Kali, the
sex-vampire. Scalphunter, the killer. Katana, the samurai. On the other
hand, Mecha came back to prevent Shinobu-san from becoming her. And because
of that, a lot of people suffered, including Masaki and his dad. Kali killed
Masaki, sucked his life right out of him. His dad was killed by Katana while
she was trying to move on Shinobu."

Fungi and Hitomi stare at the other as they head back inside. "How
do you know all this?!" the latter demands. "No one's said anything, least of
all to you guys!"

"Let's just say it dropped in on us two weeks ago," Masayuki sighs.
"You better prepare yourselves. Girls, come on out!"

The two spin around to see three women walk into the living room.
"Oh, no...!!" Fungi pales on recognizing one. "You!!!"

His hand snaps to his hidden pistol, but Hitomi slaps him down. "Put
it down, Fungi-kun!" she snaps. "They wouldn't bring them out just like that!
You want to bring in the neighbours AND the Sagussans?!"

Fungi shudders, then glares at Kali. "It's them," Masayuki sighs.
"Right after their fights with Shinobu, nanites inserted by Mecha during and
after began to reconstruct their bodies. They have little trace of their old
personalities left in them, although they do remember a lot of what they went
through to bring them here. Mecha made them come to us, believing that if
they were hidden away, those who were backing them up couldn't use them
again. And...they've been here ever since."

"Wow!!" Hitomi examines them. "Wait! Katana and Scalphunter were
old women! These two look exactly like Shinobu-chan..."

"We were modified to better reflect our present relationships,
Hitomi- chan," Katana explains, smiling. "Further, rejecting our previous
lives, we no longer use those monikers by which you now know us. I am now
Jijo Miyaki," she grasps Atsushi's hand.

"I'm Aijin," Kali embraces Masayuki.

"And I'm Joshu Miyaki," Scalphunter smiles contently at Satoshi.

Fungi and Hitomi exchange unsure looks. "I wish...we could believe
you," the latter sighs. "But after what you three nearly did to Shinobu, I'm
not sure how to take you."

"Oh, sweet cousin, believe us, please!" Aijin grasps Hitomi's hand.
"Once those awful thoughts were taken away, we reverted back to the way we
always were! Can't you trust us?"

"I..." Hitomi blinks.

"The only way to persuade our cousin of our intentions is to ask a
Sagussan to mind-scan us," Joshu stares at Jijo.

"Agreed," the latter nods.

"In fact..." Joshu blinks as a strange feeling touches her. "I think
they're here."

The door flies open, revealing Ranma-chan and Akane-chan, armed to
the hilt and ready for business. "Well, well, well!!" the former licks her
lips. "It seems that fortune DOES smile on those who wait! Didn't take us
too long to locate you. Now, are there any more of you running around,
pal?!" she levels her Urban Assault Cannon on Fungi.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

"Wait!!" Hitomi leaps into the line of fire. "Fungi-kun isn't evil!
He only wants to live here in peace!! Put the gun down!!"

"Are you blind?!" Ranma growls. "Have you an idea what his lot're
capable of doing?"

"I know all that!!" Hitomi snarls. "Put the gun down!! He's not one
of them!!!"

The two face off, then Akane cuts in. "Wait, Ranma," she sighs, then
holds out her hand. "Your weapon, please."

Fungi calmly places his pistol into the Sagussan's hand. Ranma
stares surprisedly at her would-be bondmate. "I think he's okay," Akane
sighs, then glares at her partner. "Put it down, Ranma. Now!"

A exasperated grunt explodes from her as Ranma lowers her Cannon.
"Now," Akane glares at Shinobu's future-selves. "Care to explain where they
come from? By all rights, they should be dead."

The members of the Chem Club explain what happened to Aijin, Jijo and
Joshu after their defeat by Shinobu. Mecha's disembodied voice cuts in to
augment some points. "Once their potential development were halted, they were
cut off from their home timelines," Masayuki concludes. "They have no home to
go to, but they still possess some of their powers as Lady Katana, Kali and
Scalphunter. What were we supposed to do? Leave them on the street for some
thug to capture them?"

"What I think is this: you three were just pleased to get variations
of your 'goddess' for your own pleasure," Akane's eyes narrow at the now
perspiring Terran lads. "But if they're serious about staying with you,
that's their concern as long as they behave themselves. As for you," she
turns to Fungi, "...since you're in love with Shinobu's cousin, we could
declare that you've defected from Phentax Two to Earth. What the Terran
authorities decide to do with you is their business. We'll still report you
to the U.N."

"I've no problem," Fungi sighs. "I doubt the other groups observing
Tomobiki know I'm alive. All I care about is living my own life outside the
Church of Lum and Hitomi-chan."

Hitomi blushes. "Fair enough," Akane nods. "Well, I think this
mission's all but over. Wouldn't you say so, Ranma?"

The other Sagussan looks depressed. "I didn't get to kill someone or
blow something up!" she whines. "Some mission!"

The others faint! Akane groans...

* * *

A knock is heard. "Enter," Nabiki looks up from her computer, taking
off her glasses.

Kodachi-chan looks in. "Can we talk?"

"C'mon in!" Nabiki rubs her eyes. "I need a break from all these
stock pictures. What is it, Kodachi?"

"Nabiki-chan," the Sagussan coyly smiles. "Why did you and Hinako-
chan go to see Pathfinder Troop Six today?" She then pouts. "If you wanted
to talk to a Sagussan, you could've come see me, you know."

Nabiki sighs. She knew that Sagussans valued honesty above all, so
it was time for the truth, no matter how much it hurt. "Kodachi...I have
guessed that you find me attractive. Hinako-sensei guesses the same from
Azusa. But...neither of us can imagine starting relationships with either of
you. Hell, until two months ago, I never thought I'd meet aliens.
Personally, I wouldn't mind it if I never saw an alien again after you. I
can't give you what you want, Kodachi."

The watchmistress blinks. "I see."

"I'm flattered by your interest," Nabiki stands, steadying Kodachi.
"I am. Believe me, after all the crazy plots and back-handed plans I've been
involved with, being honest with someone is refreshing. But my first
responsibility is to my family. I'm the only one able to keep this place
financially solvent. I can't leave them here, especially with the Saotomes
here, plus all the damage that is inflicted on this place. Unlike the
Moroboshis or the Mendous, my family doesn't have a ready cash reserve for
repairing the holes that appear when someone flies off the handle. I have to
make money any way possible and it's darn near a full-time job."

Kodachi sighs. "Pity," she smiles. "I had hoped you'd be willing to
take a chance."

"I can understand that," Nabiki nods. "You're facing the dawn of
your society. You can afford to dream; dreams are necessary to get your
people off the ground. I...haven't been so blessed. But it doesn't mean I'm
letting you off the hook, Watchmistress."

"Eh?!" Kodachi blinks, then tenses as someone enters the room.

"It's okay, spirit-sister," a familiar voice comes from behind the
watchmistress' ears. "I can take over from here."

Kodachi spins around to see a Seishin-Urusian Nabiki in a child
services uniform, 77204 on her arms. "I heard there was a very lonely
defence officer looking for some companionship," Nabiki-chan softly murmurs
as she gazes intently into the watchmistress' eyes. "Would that be you,
Kodachi-san?"

Hearts spring into Kodachi's eyes as Nabiki-chan tweaks her psi-
shields. "I'll give you some privacy," Nabiki departs the room. "Just don't
damage the computer."

"Hai!" Nabiki-chan smiles.

Soft intimate noises emanate from behind the closed door. "Another
disaster averted," Nabiki whistles. She see Ranma walk up. "Hey, Ranma-kun,
what's going on? Your spirit-sister return from that job she and Akane-chan
went out to handle?"

"Nah...but there's some rich woman here to see you," he thumbs
downstairs. "Someone important by the way your dad's acting."

"Wonder who it is," Nabiki muses as she heads downstairs...

...then stops, eyes widening in shocked disbelief on seeing their
guest. "You must be Nabiki," Nagaiwakai smiles. "Can we talk?"

* * *

"You want ME to buy out Takanaba?!!"

Nagaiwakai nods. The Tendous and the Saotomes stare in disbelief at
the Moroboshi Clan matriarch, astounded that someone of her esteemed
personage would visit them. Outside, several Kuromoroboshi perch in the
trees to ensure no eavesdroppers. Their skill and dedication impress Genma
and Souun, who assumed anything related to Ataru had to be second-rate.
"That's right, Nabiki- san," Nagaiwakai smiles. "Your skill on the markets
and other money-making venues has attracted the attention of the Minister of
Finance. Your economic acumen has been complimented by Reigi Yumoa, someone
my son and I place high trust in running our companies."

Nabiki turns a brilliant cherry. She knew Reigi, having dealt with
him since she first broke into the markets. "I'm pleased Yumoa-san regards me
with such a positive light. I hope I'm up to the task, ma'am."

"Excellent," Nagaiwakai smiles. "Now, I believe that since Nerima
suffered the worst because of the unpleasantness unleashed by Takanaba,
someone from Nerima should reap the benefits. Of all the people here, you
have the skill necessary to run a company, even at eighteen years of age.
Hence, I'd like to take you under my wing, give you the chance."

"I'll need money," Nabiki then warns. "Takanaba's stock may be going
down, but I'll need a lot of money..."

"I think I can help you with that."

Nagaiwakai snaps her fingers. The Kuromoroboshi place ten briefcases
before Nabiki, opening them to reveal a billion yen in each in 10,000 yen
notes. A cash register sounds off as Nabiki counts some of the money,
bundled in hundred-note wrappings. "How soon must I pay this back?" she
stares at the matriarch, realizing this was a considerable commitment. "What
about interest?"

"My dear, this is the future of Earth we're speaking of," Nagaiwakai
sighs. "Money leeches like Takanaba would bring ruin to millions so long as
he can make his fortune. Loaning money for constructive causes on Sagussa
demands no extra cost. Their loan is interest-free since Takanaba's
elimination removes one more obstacle to smoothing relations between our
planets. In the interests of equity, I'm prepared to do the same. Payment
will not be set to a standard time since this is a hostile takeover; we can
expect considerable resistance to your movements, especially if Takanaba
scents my involvement. But I am a businessperson, Nabiki, just as you are. I
expect results."

"You'll have them!" Nabiki nods, bowing respectfully. "When do you
want me to start?"

"Tomorrow when trading begins on the exchange. I expect you to be
majority shareholder before two weeks, Nabiki. I've sent word to the right
places so the Finance Ministry won't object...before it's too late for
Takanaba. The rest is up to you."

"Yes, ma'am!!" Nabiki nods. "I'll call my broker now! If you'll
excuse me, please!"

She runs out of the room. "Whoa!!" Ranma whistles. "Kinda
depressing if you ask me."

"Why do you say that?" Akane wonders.

"I expected something more exciting," Ranma shrugs. "Just talk and
talk. Make your phone calls and let others do the counting. Nothing that'd
attract my interest."

"Understandable, son," Souun nods. "But this is Nabiki's chosen
battlefield and she is a master at this game. I wouldn't want to be in
Takanaba's shoes when she sets her sights."

"Well, since that's settled, how about snacks?" Kasumi smiles. "Lady
Nagaiwakai, would you invite your friends in for some?"

"Uh...c-certainly!" Nagaiwakai blinks, obviously amused by the
friendly offer...

* * *

Later, Ranma-chan and Akane-chan return to the dojo, reporting to
their friends about Fungi. The latter decided (forcefully persuading the
former) to remain silent on Shinobu's reborn future-selves, realizing that
regardless of the Chem Club's personal reasons for welcoming them into their
lives, Aijin, Jijo and Joshu deserve a second chance at a peaceful life. Once
a message had been dispatched to the United Nations so Fungi could be
registered as an alien refugee, the watchmistresses decide to relax.

With matters settled for the time being, Ranma-chan invites Ranma to
the "Hasei'cha," where the watchmistresses kept gear which could be disruptive
in Nerima. For the first time, Ranma Saotome is completely out of his element
as he's transported to the sloop, awed by the seemingly limitless power the
Sagussans possessed. "Man, I never thought I'd ever deal with aliens," he
hums, eyes darting everywhere as they headed to her quarters.

"We hoped other races would show a little more responsibility when it
came to dealing with your people," Ranma-chan stares at him. "However, such
has not been the case, so we have to keep collateral damage to a minimum."

"Must be hard work," Ranma muses.

"It is," Ranma-chan nods, looking left to see Priss and Lufy sparring
in the ship's gymnasium. "Hey, Priss, Lufy!"

"Hi, Ranma!!" the former waves.

Ranma stops, spellbound as they savage the other in unarmed combat,
using techniques that would kill a well-trained fighter like him. Ranma-chan
remains silent as her spirit-brother watches how other races duelled. After a
few minutes, Priss and Lufy call time out, then draw back, neither the victor.
With that, Ranma-chan guides Ranma to her quarters. "Impressed?" she wonders.

"Wow! Cologne and Happousai would've been squashed! Who were those
two?!"

"Priss and Lufy, two former *pirpirsiw'r* from Yehisril," Ranma-chan
smiles, then explains the origins of the Most Dangerous Ones, elaborating on
their duties. "They're the best we have on Sagussa, although there're many
more where they come from. In fact, a lot of people once wondered if I wasn't
a *pirpirsiw'r* myself with the way I fight."

"Little spitfire of destruction, eh?"

"It could be said," she keys the code to her quarters, then steps in.

Ranma looks in. The quarters are sparse, although Ranma-chan tossed
stuff helter-skelter when she moved in. What catches his eye is Akane-chan,
sitting statue-still on the small couch, dressed in a very pretty kimono, eyes
closed. "Hey, what's Akane doing here?!"

"She's not Akane," Ranma-chan smiles, stripping her Terran clothes
and slipping on an off-duty jumpsuit, then kneels. "Wake up."

Akane's eyes open, glow red for a second, then revert to brown.
"Ranma!" she smiles, allowing the watchmistress to lay down on the couch, head
in her lap. "How are you?"

"I'm okay," Ranma-chan purrs. "Just a little headache."

"I can cure that," Akane offers, gently stroking her forehead.

Ranma blinks. "Uh...what's with her?"

"This is a companion android double of Akane," Ranma-chan smiles.
"Show him."

The droid lifts her right arm, popping open a hatch for the Terran's
inspection. "Wow!! Does Akane know you have her?"

"It's none of her business," Ranma-chan sighs contently as the droid
returns to her ministrations. "You see, we use the droids as surrogates
whenever we take interest in someone but are unable to date that person for
whatever reason. If you've a crush...as I have with Akane...they're perfect."

"But sooner or later, reality has to step in," he muses, sitting on
the bed.

"Yeah," she frowns. "I've had a crush on Akane since my rebirth. It
nearly drove me crazy when I was in command training; she was my tutor. And
yet, no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to catch her interest."

"Why not? You sure as hell make it clear you want her."

"I do. I've made it also clear that I'll brook no one taking
interest in her. I guess I'm cramping her style. But I want her to notice
me. Do you do that with your Akane?"

"Not really," he chuckles, then sighs. "Akane's not what I'd
consider perfect wife material. In fact, she tends to screw up everything she
touches. She tries; that's her best point. But...people tend to suffer
whenever she gets out of hand."

"Yet you care for her."

"I do! She cares for me. But...we got shanghaied into this by our
dads. It wasn't the best of beginnings. Even after all this time, it's been
hard for us to..."

"Express yourself?"

"Yeah."

Silence for a moment. "How can I express myself to make Akane notice
me, acknowledge me as a suitor, a bondmate?" Ranma-chan sighs. "I tell her I
love her. I make it clear I don't think of anyone else. I certainly don't
put up to Ukyou and Shampoo crawling over me...yet she doesn't acknowledge my
interest in her. Does she like me or doesn't she?"

Ranma considers the point. "I don't know. Heck, with all the things
I've seen about you, I can't comprehend what you people call good or bad.
You're being honest with her; in that, you're one up on me. I...hell, I can't
find it in myself to say to my Akane what you say to yours."

"Maybe because you don't love her," she shrugs. "No shame admitting
that. Ataru and Lum had to confront the lack of love in their relationship
before they got somewhere. You and Akane might have to do the same thing."

"I guess," he scratches the back of his head. "Maybe you do care for
Akane, but she might want something more than just a determined fighter. She
said it herself. She wants class, she wants good behaviour, she wants...she
wants a person who knows when to fight and when NOT to fight."

"Hard for me to tell the difference."

"It's hard for me, too," Ranma smiles. "You know, I wouldn't admit
this to anyone, not even Akane...not until you came."

"Ditto. Maybe you and I should team up to grab them while we still
have the chance."

"Let's hope the Niphentaxians'll cooperate," he muses...

* * *

"Ranma, did you send your spirit-brother back to Earth...?" Akane-
chan peeks into Ranma-chan's quarters sometime later.

The watchmistress blinks, surprised to see her companion droid
sitting on the sofa, Ranma asleep in her lap. "Please be quiet," the
mechanism shushes her template. "She fell asleep an hour ago."

Akane nods, gazing at the tranquil scene before her. Like most
*daishi'cha,* she had no real idea who made use of her companion droid. The
confidentiality of the companion android system gave it its allure. Very
rarely did people learn who made use of their droids; asking them directly
got no answers...unless you were a hacker like Nene, who knew EVERYONE who
made use of her droid. Akane knew Ranma desired her, but never thought she
was so desperate for Akane's company that she would bring her companion droid
to Earth.

"You really do care for me," Akane sighs, reaching up to gently
stroke Ranma's unruly hair. Scenes in the Chamber of Eternity replay in her
mind. Every time Akane had tried to be with someone failed. Before Ataru's
first visit, Ranma's interference was usually an icy stare or a stern order
to leave Akane alone. After, when Ranma tapped into her explosive temper,
people quickly wound up in a medical station whenever they were caught
suspiciously close to Akane. Shampoo, Ukyou and Kodachi were unable to turn
Ranma away from her target despite their passion being as fierce toward Ranma
as Ranma's was to Akane. That thought makes Akane blush as she kisses Ranma,
eliciting a delighted purr from the watchmistress. Deciding enough is
enough, the Fukunokami-born officer rises to leave.

"Don't go."

Akane turns back. "Ranma..."

"Stay?" Ranma looks hopeful. "Please?"

Akane gazes at her, then stares at the companion droid. "Shut down."

The droid's eyes obediently close. Ranma stands, placing herself
face-to-face with Akane. The former's hands rises to caress the latter's
face, the first step to the bond-meld. Despite her passionate zeal for
fighting, Ranma considered herself very well-bred when it came to intimate
matters.

Akane smiles. "There's an easier way."

"Eh?!"

With that, Akane's psi-shields drop! Ranma gasps in disbelief as her
shields disintegrate in shocked response, then their minds begin to caress
with an intimacy only Sagussans could comprehend...

* * *

An hour later, Ranma and Akane lay in bed, warmly embracing the
other, giddy after the passions their bonding unleashed. "I am so happy this
finally happened," the former sighs. "I dreamt of this again and again."

"Disappointed?" the latter muses.

"With you?" Ranma kisses her. "Never."

Both sigh as they gaze at the companion droid. "Ukyou and Shampoo
aren't going to forgive us for this," Akane sighs. "We may have unleashed a
whole new set of problems."

"Unfortunately," Ranma sighs. "So what can we do about it?"

They exchange a knowing look, then Akane picks up her discarded wrist-
communicator. Programming a special function into the communicator's mini-
computer, she calls out. "Commence operation. Authorization Akane-Sierra-Oh-
Six-Nine..."

* * *

"'Morning, Ranma," Akane raises her hand, then demolishes a cinder
block with a chop.

"Hi, Akane," Ranma smiles as he kneels before her. "Sleep well?"

"It was quiet," she clears the shattered concrete, then loads a new
block. "Nabiki rose very early to spend the money Nagaiwakai-sama left her.
She's been on the phone since, hogging all the modem time."

"Well, let's hope she pulls it off," he sighs, smiling. "She should
be okay. Someone with personal connections to the Diet and the Imperial
Family like Nagaiwakai-sama isn't an easy person to shake off, you know."

"True," she concentrates, then stops, gazing at him. "Something
wrong?"

"Just watching you break blocks."

"What's wrong with me breaking blocks?"

"What is wrong?"

Akane jolts, surprised at Ranma's candor, expecting a coarse insult
at her tomboyish ways. Ranma-chan and Akane-chan then walk in, holding hands.
"Good morning, everyone!" the former smiles, then notices the shattered
concrete. "Wrecking masonry, Akane?! You ever thought of going into
demolition work?"

"Very funny, Ranma!" Akane snorts. "This is very demanding work."

The cinder block is pulverized. "Not bad!" Akane-chan smiles.
"However, we would seek out the weak points in the concrete rather than risk
our skeletal integrity by employing the whole arm."

"It's a great chi-focusing exercise," Akane explains, then tenses as
suddden shouts erupt from outside. "What's going on?!"

Everyone turns to see Shampoo-chan storm in. "Okay, who's the wise
guy?!" she demands. "Where's that snake-in-th'-grass Ukyou?!"

"I haven't seen her, Shampoo," Ranma-chan shakes her head.
"Something wrong?!"

"I'll tell y'all what's wrong!" Shampoo growls. "That slut's droid
was sent ta sleep with me last night!! What's th' idea?!!"

"Who're YOU calling a slut, you back-stabber?!!" Ukyou-chan storms in
next, equally incensed. "You got balls talking about companion droids after I
spent the night fighting off YOUR companion droid!!"

They glare at each other, lightning sparking. "I cannot tell a lie,"
Akane-chan sighs, making a "woe is me" gesture. "I'm the one who sent your
companion droids to you."

"WHAT?!?!?!" both bellow. "WHY?!?!?!"

"For THIS reason!!" Akane-chan smiles as she sweeps Ranma-chan off
her feet, then overwhelms her with a kiss!

Shampoo and Ukyou scream, horrified as the lust-dazed Ranma-chan
melts to the dojo's floor. "Thank you, ma'am...may I have another...?" she
slurs.

"See!!" Akane-chan sweetly smiles. "She's all mine!!!"

If looks could kill, Ranma-chan would find herself a widow.
"You...you...you horse-thief!!!" Ukyou growls, eyes ablaze. "You DARE muscle
in on MY Ranma-chan?!!"

"YOUR Ranma-chan?!!" Shampoo grabs her rival's collar. "Got news for
y'all, sleeze!!! Ranma-chan's MINE!!!!"

"Says who?!!" Ukyou-chan snarls.

"Says me!!!"

"Oh, yeah?!!"

"Yeah!!!"

The two Sagussans then roll out of the dojo in a cloud of dust and
fists. "Wow!" Ranma whistles, sweat pouring down his head. "They're as bad
as our Ukyou and Shampoo!"

"Worse!!" Akane exclaims.

"Oh, we'd better calm them down," Akane-chan sighs. "C'mon, Ranma!"

"Coming, dear..." the dazed Ranma-chan staggers after her bondmate...

* * *

"There!!" Odao sneers. "The traitor!"

A small group of Niphentaxians, dressed in day-wear, gaggle at a
corner, watching Fungi and Hitomi window-shop. "Look!" one of the observers
hisses. "Doesn't she look like the Sinful Doubter Shinobu?!"

"That must be her cousin!" Odao muses. "Suzuki warned us about her!
She must not come to harm, although I suspect her passing would not be missed
too much..."

A stampede is heard approaching them from behind. "Stupid Shampoo-
chan no shut off robot Ukyou!" Shampoo screams over her bicycle bell. "Robot
Ukyou try to seduce Shampoo!"

"Hey, couldn't you do something about the Shampoo droid that came
after you?!" Ukyou demands. "She went after Konatsu-kun!!"

"QUIET!!!!!!" Ukyou-chan and Shampoo-chan scream. "WE'RE ARGUING
HERE!!!!!!"

"Eh...?!" Odao turns to look...

...then gets run over by Ukyou-chan, who uses his face as a
springboard! "Out of my way!!!" the Sagussan screams.

Odao gasps as Ukyou-chan tears down the street...then gets slammed by
Shampoo-chan, leaping after her fellow Sagussan!! "Come back, y'snake!!!" the
watchmistress bellows. "I ain't finished yellin' at y'all!!!"

Odao slams into the asphalt. "You okay?" queries an observer
kneeling beside him.

"How...dare those...primitives...step on...me?" Odao grunts as he
tries to rise...

...then gets side-swiped by Ukyou's combat spatula! "Hey, we aren't
finished talking to you!!!" the okonomiyaki cook screams. "Come back here!!!"

Odao shudders, trying to rise...to get mowed down by Shampoo's
bike!! "Aiyah!!!" the Chinese warrior-maiden bellows. "Ukyou-chan make robot
Ukyou stop chasing Shampoo!!"

A second later, the Ukyou-chan and Shampoo-chan companion droids,
both quite scandalously clad in lingerie, bowl over the whole observation
group!! "Come back to me, Shampoo!!!" the former cries. "I haven't shown you
ALL of my seduction programming!!"

"Ukyou!!!" the latter coos. "I can show y'all new things ta do with
your spatula!!!"

As the Niphentaxians moan, Ranma-chan and Akane-chan race up,
trampling them to stop this madcap marathon. "You idiots!!!" the former
bounds off Odao's head. "Whattareya trying to prove?!! We're supposed to be
behaving ourselves!!! Knock it off!!!"

"Will you calm down?!!" the latter bounces off three other observers,
right behind her bondmate. "You're not setting a good example for Sagussa!!"

"Those harpies are Sagussan?!!" Odao leaps up. "On your feet, you
idiots!!! This is our chance to destroy these demons...!!!"

Too late: he gets knocked over by Kunou! "PIG-TAILED GIRL!!!!
AKANE!!!!" the kendoist cries out. "Come back to my waiting arms!!!"

"You leave Akane alone, you horse-thief!!!" Ryouga Hibiki thunders
over them next. "Akane loves ME, not you!!!"

Mousse. "Shampoo, stop chasing those girls!! Come to me!!"

Konatsu. "Ukyou-sama, come back!!"

Cologne. "My, this looks interesting!"

Happousai, with a bag of underwear. "Wow!! Whatta haul!! Whatta
haul!!!"

Then a screaming pack of Furinkan High School girls. "YOU LECH!!!!
YOU PERVERT!!!! BRING BACK OUR UNDERWEAR!!!!!!"

Finally, after Souun, Genma, Hinako, Nodoka, Ranma, Akane plus the
entire remaining cast of "Ranma 1/2" thunder by, the hapless Niphentaxians
find themselves trampled to the thickness of okonomiyaki! "These...Terrans
are...so violent..." Odao grunts.

Footfalls. They see Kodachi-chan and Azusa-chan standing there in
uniform, weapons out and businesslike looks on their faces. Seeing the
phoenix insignia, Odao leaps to Kodachi's feet, bowing repentantly.
"Please!! We surrender!!! We surrender!!! Just get us out of this
madhouse!!!"

Azusa and Kodachi exchange looks...

* * *

The chase finally ends somewhere near Furinkan High School. The
Sagussans take Odao and his observers into custody, turning them over to
Japanese authorities for processing. For punishment, they're transported to
Monster Island as groundskeepers for Gojira's nest. Their confessions,
littered with unspeakable curses about the ghastly hospitality of the citizens
of Nerima, exposes Baron Suzuki and Takanaba. With additional public scrutiny
(thanks to Nagaiwakai), their plans against Earth's treaty with Sagussa are
halted.

Worse fate happens to the financier. Within three days, Nabiki
Tendou Enterprises (a subsidiary of Toranoseishin Finances) purchases majority
stock in Takanaba's company. Nabiki fires the financier personally and takes
over as chief executive officer. She then puts the company through massive
personnel restructuring.

The Chem Club members and their fiancees go to Kyoto, marrying in
private.

Fungi finally meets Hitomi's parents. After some initial hesitation
on their part, they officially bless their engagement. Fungi and Hitomi
decide to hold off on marrying until Shinobu has safely returned to Earth...

* * *

A week later, Ranma-chan's team remain in Furinkan. Despite their
inflicting the loss of a dozen observers, the United Nations decide the
Sagussans should remain in Nerima until the Church of Lum is terminated. With
that, they take residence at the Tendou dojo, sleeping in tents set up in the
front lawn.

It is a beautiful morning. Akane-chan cooked the forenoon meal, this
time attended by all the "Ranma 1/2" cast regulars. To the relief of Hinako
and Nabiki (not to mention a very worried Souun), Azusa-chan and Kodachi-chan
spend their time with their new bond-mates Hinako-chan (a First Fleet chief
petty officer) and Nabiki-chan. Much to Ranma-chan's and Akane-chan's
surprise, Shampoo-chan and Ukyou-chan bond, reflecting on the very enjoyable
evening they spent with the other's droid. Other than the multiple responses
whenever a girl's name was called out, there have been no problems...until
now.

"Okay! What's with all the looks?!"

The Sagussans have very pleased, content looks on their faces.
Ranma- chan and Akane-chan stare quizzically at Ranma. "What do you mean,
Ranma?" the latter smiles.

"You eight have had those sickening smiles on your faces since we got
up!!" he points at them. "What's the story?!"

"We've been sick?" Ranma-chan gazes at her bondmate.

"Stop stalling!!" Akane storms up. "By the looks of it, you girls've
had a very good time with someone last night! Who was it?!"

"Well, yes, we did spend some time in a gentleman's company," Akane-
chan smiles.

"I KNEW it!!!" Ranma spins on Kunou. "Did you do it, you lech?!!"

"Much that I would gladly give my company to these truly lovely
ladies, I sadly confess that I am innocent," Kunou sighs. "However, I do not
put it past YOU, Saotome!!"

"RANMA?!?!?!" Souun appears behind his future son-in-law, now
deformed into a very hideous monster! "DID YOU...?!?!?!"

"I didn't, I didn't, I didn't!!!" Ranma panics, waving Souun off.

"Who was it?!" Akane asks.

"It was an older gentleman!" Akane-chan romantically sighs.
"Although youth and stamina have their own desirable qualities, spirit-sister,
dealing with one possessing worldly experience has its own rewards!!"

Everyone exchanges looks. "'Older gentleman'...?!" Ranma wonders.

"Ladies!!" a voice calls out.

The Sagussans see Happousai bounce up, dressed in an old style
swimsuit with beach party accessories in his carryall. "There you are!!" the
aged master smiles. "Care to hit the beach?! Got a private spot for you!!
Won't need to worry about bathing suits!!"

"Love to!" Akane-chan nods. "Let's go!"

With that, the eight Sagussans and Happousai stream off the property,
leaving behind a open-mouthed group of Terrans. "You mean...they were with
HIM?!?!" Ranma stammers.

"Why, that randy old goat," Nabiki does not look up from her mountain
of computer print-out. "Never thought he had it in him!"

Everyone faints!

*** The End ***

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