[Ranma][FanFic] Half a Conversation
Scott Jamison
Warning! Otakufic ahead :-)
Because nobody demanded it...
HALF A CONVERSATION
by Scott K. Jamison
(Takahashi disclaimer)
Okay, mister, you've been following me around all morning. I
want to know who you are and what you want.
Boy, you gaijin sure have some strange names. Whaddya mean, I
should talk? Saotome Ranma is a perfectly good name! Anyhow, what are
you following me around for?
You want to help me do *what*? To *Akane*!? Two words, mister.
Not. Happening. Mr. Tendou sent you, right?
Whaddya mean, it's destiny? Fella, you obviously don't know me
too well.
Okay, so you know all about me. Go ahead, tell me about myself.
Well, you got the leaving home, meeting Ucchan, Nekoken and
Jyuusenkyo parts right. But you coulda found out all that from Mr.
Tendou, or maybe Nabiki if you paid her enough.
No, it didn't happen that way. What she said was, "But I already
have a boyfriend."
Is there an echo in here? That's what she said, all right. So I
said, "Really? So even the most flat-chested girl has hope!" I was
hoping to get her mad, but I still think swatting me with the table was a
bit much.
The idea was to be so rude that Mr. Tendou wouldn't want me to
marry his daughter after all. Didn't quite work. Turns out Akane really
did have a boyfriend, but Daddy didn't approve of him. I was apparently
the first boy in forever not to think the tomboy was the greatest thing
since sliced bread, and old Soun thought she needed a husband who
wouldn't feed her ego so much. He and Pops seemed to ignore any sign of
hostility between us kids.
Next morning, which was really the first time I had a chance to
talk to Akane, I apologized for being so rude, since it hadn't worked and
I didn't really hate her that much...yet. She let me know we most
certainly were not getting married, and I agreed.
Doc Tofu? Nah, didn't meet him until later. And if Akane had a
crush on him, it was long over by the time I arrived.
So we arrived at school...no, Akane wasn't mobbed by attackers,
why do you ask? I did notice a lot of the boys staring like starving
animals tempted by meat but wary of traps.
Then Akane broke into a run, and her eyes went all starry-like.
She'd spotted her boyfriend, and was definitely happy to see him.
"Kunou-sempai!" she shouted.
You alright? Yes, I said "Kunou". She draped herself all over
this tall guy who wasn't in school uniform, then broke off enough so I
could see him.
And I liked what I saw. Tousled hair, piercing eyes, handsome
features, and his kendo outfit showed off his clean, manly limbs. I took
one look and knew I was in love.
Heck yes, I'm gay! No, the spring didn't do anything to my
brain, thank you very much. You're looking a little green. You aren't
one of those homophobes like Pops, are you? Yeah, you'd think I could
have a Nineties family with some acceptance of my orientation, but no,
*I* have to have a father who thinks men loving each other is
"unnatural" and "unmanly."
He freaked so badly everytime I even came close to the subject I
decided I'd better keep it a secret from him. And to keep it a secret
from him, I had to hide it from everyone else too.
So back to the story. I look at Akane all over this Kunou guy
like sauce on sukiyaki, and suddenly I start really hating her. Hating
her because I wanted to be the one doing that.
She told him I was a pervert her father was trying to force her
to marry, and Kunou being who he is, I was challenged in seconds. I
coulda took him too, but I was so into his looks I lowered my guard, and
got clipped on the neck just as it started to rain. Since my girl side
was supposed to be a big secret then, Pops snatched me away before anyone
could register the transformation.
Kunou tried attacking me in the hall later, and we ended up in
the swimming pool outside. I hauled him out, as he'd gone to la-la land,
and hid out so as not to reveal my secret. But he caught up with me in a
couple of minutes.
Now, I love Kunou dearly, (why are you shuddering?), but the boy
is a little thick-headed. It never even occurred to him that the girl he
found had *anything* to do with Ranma Saotome. And he started coming on
to me.
Up to then, I'd thought of my girl form as nothing but a
nuisance. I was a man, after all, a "manly" man. But now I saw things
with fresh eyes. In this form, Kunou *wanted* me. I'd never had any
practice with romance, for obvious reasons, so I didn't say much and what
I did say was kinda stupid. He didn't seem to mind. Then he decided he
better go off and look for Ranma again.
I got some hot water and kicked his ass in male form, my duty as
heir to the Anything-Goes Martial Arts school, you know. But that night,
there was a new face in my dreams.
Akane was fit to be tied when she found out Kunou was after my
girl form now, although he seemed just as interested in her as ever.
That's the one thing that really irritates me about Tachi-chan, he can't
make up his mind between us.
Problem was, I couldn't admit I liked Kunou because of Pops'
stupid prejudice, so I had real trouble getting in contact with him.
Plus, I was still uncomfortable with pretending to be a girl.
Then I found out during one of our fights that Kunou was buying
pictures from Nabiki of Akane and my girl side. At last I had a way of
one-upping Akane.
While the tomboy had it real bad for Kunou, she was still kinda
prudish. I wasn't, so I pretended I needed money real bad (actually, I
kinda did, Pops didn't earn much at Doc Tofu's) and agreed to pose for
some lingerie shots for Nabiki.
Sure enough, Kunou liked them and wanted more. Akane finally
figured out what I was doing, but warrior code of honor said she couldn't
rat on me, about really being a boy to Kunou or being gay to Pops.
So she settled for calling me a "pervert" all the time and
hitting me whenever I gave her the slightest excuse.
Of course, I've been tempted by others, especially when I thought
there was a chance I could get together with them in male form. I really
prefer my male form after all.
And I've tried some plans to get Akane off my back. For example,
this kid I had a crush on in junior high, Ryouga, showed up and got a
fixation on the tomboy. But the pig's so clueless he ends up as her pet
P-chan instead!
If I could just throw a fight to one of those idiots that keep
kidnapping Akane all the time, I'd be set. But no, I've got this stupid
martial artist honor. Same reason I can't just dump any of my female
fiancees. Of course, if Ucchan had turned out to be a guy like I
thought, I'd have married *him* in a flash!
Then there was my brief fling with Tsubasa. Of *course* I knew
he was a boy all along, I'm not stupid, ya know. Unfortunately, he
really really isn't into guys, just masculine women, so my male side
quashed that romance.
And of course, I still haven't told Kunou about my curse. Oh,
Kunou-sempai...
Hey, if you're here to help me, howzabout you help me get Kunou
squarely in my camp once and for all, and cut Akane out of the deal?
No? You're not sure you can pull that off?
Say, you know, you're kinda cute yourself. I wouldn't mind a
quickie... I could turn into girl form for it... Hey, where you
going!?
Wussy.
THE END!
Note: The opinions expressed in this story are not necessarily those of
the author. (I mean, *Kunou*? Yecch!:-)
Comments to ma...@cyberx.com por favor.
SKJAM!