[Ranma][FanFic] Omake Theatre: Worse Parent Than Genma 6-8

[metro...@mindspring.com]

"A *Worse* Father Than Genma?" Raideen asked, wanting to make sure he'd
heard right. "Or do you mean a *Better* Father Than Genma?"

"It sort of altered as it went along," admitted Toltiir. "People like Sailor
Pluto whom you'd expect to be poor parents, and they're doing a better job
than the original father: Genma Saotome."

Hesta clucked softly. "I think altering the three Tendo girls would be more
interesting. Their mother's death alters the three. The oldest tries to
become the perfect Japanese housewife, like her mother. The middle goes into
a moneyhungry mercenary possessive mode where everything is seen in terms of
profit. The youngest is a creature of passionate rage and self-absorbed ego.
How easy it would be to alter it so that the kernel that forms the basis for
their later development shifted to another focus."

"Maybe some other time," Toltiir said, though admitting that Hesta's idea
had some merit. The idea of a Kasumi who was off at college or work when
Ranma arrived, or a Nabiki who was a rabid manga artist/fangirl, or an Akane
who was studying to be a concert pianist - it had some definite appeal.

"With the test point being when Ranma meets the Tendos for the first time,"
said Raideen thoughtfully. "Well, if you want a potentially nasty
possibility, and as long as this is just a simulation. What if I got *this*
individual to be Ranma's guardian and sensei."

"You could do that?" Toltiir was a little surprised. "I didn't know you knew
him."

"He owes a favor to someone who owes a favor to me," Raideen supplied.

--------

Son Of A Worse Father Omake, by Gregg Sharp

DISCLAIMER: Original characters by others put through my blender.

--------

Genma whistled happily. He had just sold Ranma, soon he was going to steal
him back. A simple enough transaction. It's not like a sophisticated
Japanese citizen like himself couldn't outmaneuver some gaijin peasant.

"Pop?! You *sold* me?!" Ranma stared, wondering why he had to have a father
who was such an idiot.

"It's for your own good boy," exclaimed Genma. Now he had the cash needed to
rent a house, get that pit dug, fill it with all the cats in the
neighborhood, and he'd be ready to teach Ranma the Cat Fist.

The fat man nodded. "Nine years learning what I can teach you of martial
arts. Then you go back to your father for one year before you make a choice
as to what path to take."

"NINE YEARS?!" From a five year old's perspective, nine years was an
eternity.

Genma smirked. Two days tops, then Ranma would learn this invincible style.
By the time this idiot realized Ranma was gone, they'd be far far away.

Ranma watched his father leave with a certain degree of horror. He'd been
sold before, but not like this. NINE YEARS?! By the time he got done with
that he'd be... OLD!!

"Your father tells me you want to be the greatest martial artist in the
world," said the fat man. "Is that what *you* want? It will be long and
painful."

The boy drew himself up and jerked his thumb towards his chest. "Yup! I'm
gonna be the BEST!"

"Hmmph," said the fat man, blurring as suddenly the land around Ranma
blurred as well.

"Aghhh!" Ranma managed before mainly getting imbedded in the ground by
really high gravity.

The fat man, now colored blue and having long trailing antennae that somehow
gave him a "catfish" sort of appearance tsked at the sight. "Well, I'm going
to fix dinner. If you're hungry, I'll leave a plate out."

"Nnnngh," Ranma said, trying to crawl forward. "Uhnnnn."

The fat man looked back. "If not, I'll have to see if Piccolo can take over
your training until you're ready to start some *serious* martial arts
training."

"Unnngghhh!" Ranma tried to move repeatedly, feeling squished by his own
body weight. "Hey, I'm... Ranma Saotome... and I don't..."

---------

Close up of a calender as the pages begin blowing away in the breeze, cue
music:

"With the same foolishness as walking blindly through a maze,
I stepped straight into a world containing only heartache,
Forever chasing an endless dream."

Images of a little boy growing up, being given a lot of very tough training
by a tall green fellow with pointed ears and antennae by the name of Piccolo
Daimioh.

"Don't waste your time,
All day, all night, all the time."

The prior images are replaced by images of the boy of about twelve, now much
tougher and more muscular, chasing first a monkey and then a beetle like
creature while the catfish-man (Kaioh-sama) watches.

"Don't waste your love,
It's a truth which never lets go."

Ranma is shown sparring with one figure after another, some male, some
female, some human-like, some far from it.

"Break the darkness,
Break it through the night!"

Ranma is shown getting the snot beaten out of him by a short guy with spiky
black hair and a very big attitude. As the music fades out, he holds up a
sign that reads: [Maybe I can settle for being just really damn good?]

----------

Light flared and Ranma walked through the shimmer without a backwards glance
at his "fathers" for the past few years. Piccolo, Kaioh-sama, Vegita. Not
exactly a group that was into goodbyes or touchy-feely exhibitions.

Now all he had to do was find his biological parent. Someone he frankly
wasn't that fond of. Genma had sold him off. Now he had a year to find him
and decide whether to return to where he could be one of the elite Z
Warriors or stay here and...

Ranma spat as he considered what Kaioh-shin-sama had said. His father wanted
him to be a martial artist that could be pushed around, who could provide
for his overweight lazy father by being bossed around and engaged to some
"destined fiancee" who was going to push him around and insult him all the
time.

Some of the people were staring at him. He was wearing the black sleeveless
outfit he'd gotten from Kaioh-shin-sama. Since it would regenerate from darn
near dust, it was his most practical outfit. He had no idea how many of the
red practice uniforms he'd gone through.

Then he felt it. Several high chi signatures, though they felt a little off.
One big dark chi, and a something else. Perfect. He could use a good fight,
it always settled his nerves.

--------

"Ahahahahahahaha," laughed Jedite. He wondered why he hadn't thought of
using spiders as the basis for youma previously. "You fell into my trap,
Sailor Moron! Now, youma, slay them all!"

Four little girls who hadn't been fighting evil for very long screamed as a
slavering eight limbed giant spider began moving towards them while they
were stuck within webbing.

"Oh man, this is pathetic." *SQUISH!*

The four girls screamed again, this time because bug splat had just flown
out from a point of impact.

A fifteen year old boy straightened up and regarded Jedite. "Was this *your*
monster?"

Jedite saw all the energy this boy had and realized how much Beryl would
reward him for capturing it. "Yes. And your energy belongs to the Dark
Kingdom!"

Ranma grunted as the pain of a chi-draining technique hit him. ~Well,
classify him as the bad guy. Hitting him with a chi attack would probably be
a bad thing. That leaves physical attacks. Too bad: for him.~

Jedite had a moment to blink before the boy was suddenly in front of him, a
fist heading for his face at high speed.

*CRUNCH!* (Fade, dissolve.)

"Fire... soul..." Mars finally wiggled loose enough to beginning burning
webs away.

Jupiter got a good look at their rescuer as the tension cut from her prison.
Tall. Muscular in lean way. Deep blue eyes. Ruggedly handsome. Tall. Thick
hair. Healthy looking. Tall. Exquisitely sexy. Talking to Mercury.

Jupiter blinked. How had Mercury got there before her?!

"Hi there, I'm Sailor Mercury. Thank you for rescuing us!" She looked up
into those blue eyes and found an addition to her previous activities was
mandated. Study, plan to be a doctor, and now - get a studly boyfriend!

"Excuse me," said Mars, sliding into place and somehow cutting in front of
Mercury. "I just wanted to thank you personally, maybe we could get dinner."

"Hey," exclaimed Jupiter, feeling left out and trying to cut in front of
Mars.

"It was a pretty wimpy monster," said Ranma sadly. "I didn't get a chance to
really unload."

"Oh we get those all the time," said Jupiter, thinking quickly. "They're
always attacking around here. If you want to stick around you can kill the
next one too!"

Ranma turned a joyous smile on the green-clad girl that caused four little
girls' hearts to melt into puddles. "Really? All right! Thanks!"

---------

Calender pages start flying by in the breeze again, though slower than the
first time.

Scenes of Ranma out on dates with most of the Senshi, with Ranma looking
puzzled for the most part. Ranma getting into big fights and enjoying
himself immensely. Ranma flattening Dark Generals. Ranma using a Kamehameha
Kaioh-ken San Bai Da to open up a section of Beryl's base so that the Senshi
don't have to deal with annoying youma.

The Senshi practically falling apart when Ranma announces he's leaving again
to find his father.

Ami finding his mother after Ranma leaves and announcing herself as Ranma's
girlfriend. Followed by Makoto discovering what Ami has done and announces
that *she* is also Ranma's girlfriend. Followed in its own turn by Minako
announcing that she's Ranma's fiancee! Nodoka Saotome dancing around with
little fans because her son is *so* manly.

The Doom Tree saga occurs, Ranma crosses paths with the Senshi again. More
fight sequences. Ranma is introduced to his mother. His mother starts
hinting very strongly that any of the four girls trying to marry him would
be a good catch.

Sailor Pluto wanders in, checks the effect on Crystal Tokyo, starts actively
trying to fix Ranma up with ANY of the Senshi.

Genma is found in a wharfside bar in Yokohama. The name Tendo Dojo comes up.

--------

A fairly sizable house in Tokyo's suburb of Nerima, where the occasional odd
thing was known to happen.

"WHAT?!!!"

Such as the house visibly shaking from three girls exclaiming at once.

"You've never met him?" Akane looked at her father as if she could scarcely
believe this latest development. On second thought, considering that bit
with the "make millions in your own home" get rich quick scheme he'd bought
into, maybe it wasn't that far a reach.

"Nope. Genma lost track of his boy for several years, but now they've been
reunited and he's bringing his son by." Soun smiled at how well they were
taking it.

"Father, father, father," Kasumi shook her head. "I hope he's not younger
than me. Younger men are so... boring." How odd: as soon as she said that
she could swear that she heard a cat laughing in the distance.

A voice spoke from the front lawn. "This better not be a trick, old fool."

"That must be Ranma," said Nabiki, already moving at high speed towards the
door.

A moment later she ran *back* into the living room. "THERE'S A MONSTER IN
THE FRONT YARD!"

The recipient of a Yeti-carrying-an-eel-and-duck-riding-a-bull curse
shouldered his way through the front door and looked around at everyone. [Hi
Soun. Brought the boy.]

The young man walked in and caused three girls to almost forget that there
was a huge misshapen monster in their living room. He was tall and buff and
studly and dressed in a school uniform. "Can someone get some hot water so
that he can talk at least. Not that I really want to *hear* anything after
that last bonehead manuever."

"Muaaaaw," said the creature, somehow managing to sound angry and upset.

"Are you?" Soun looked over the figure and felt a ki signature radiating off
this boy that was stronger than even the Master's. Dare he hope?

"I'm Ranma Saotome. You're Tendo-san. I think my Pop wanted me to challenge
your dojo, he hasn't told me *why* it's so important to come here yet."
Ranma looked them all over. Pathetic. Not one decent fight to be had here.

Kasumi ducked to her kitchen to fetch hot water and not incidently hide her
blush.

Nabiki was eyeing the boy in the tight uniform, realizing that it was
probably so tight because they didn't make them in his size, and that he
made all of the boys at Furinkan look like starving dogs. He certainly
passed the studmuffin test, now if he could just give some indication of how
intelligent or wealthy he was.

Akane gaped. She was able to read some level of martial arts skill, thereby
knowing exactly how much force to use against her horde of "admirers"
without permanent injury, but what she was reading just could not be real!
Could it? How to get him out to the dojo so she could check? Ah, he thought
he was here for a challenge?

"At last you're... URK!" Soun attempted to do a flying crying glomp, a more
difficult manuever than it sounded. He ran into a hand that was considerably
harder than concrete. Soun Tendo went night-night.

"Was that the challenge?" Ranma sounded puzzled. He was a trained martial
artist. If attacked, he would defend himself before he even registered what
was going on. Had someone tried to catch him unawares?

"Okay, then I challenge you!" Akane smirked. Not only would she be able to
see how good this guy was, once she'd beaten him this engagement would be
off.

"Fine. Where?" Ranma shrugged. Maybe this girl was concealing her power.
Really really really well.

"Dojo. Now!" Akane's smirk went to a nearly feral grin. She loved it when a
plan came together.

The minotaur was looking panicked (as a matter of fact, he had adopted a
pose recognizable as "The Scream" to art enthusiasts) before he started
waving a sign around (accidently imbedding it briefly in the ceiling).
[Don't do it! You'll die!]

Nabiki went briefly into the kitchen and came back with some beans to throw
at the obvious oni that had come to visit if he caused any more damage to
the house.

Ranma walked into the dojo and stretched. He wondered where the repellor and
hardening fields were. Otherwise this place would be way too flimsy to be a
*real* dojo.

"Ready," said Akane, getting into position and pose.

"Whenever you are," replied Ranma. When was this little girl going to show
her power? She was certainly confident enough.

"Hiyaaaa," Akane started forward.

Ranma's arm seemed to blur for a second.

--------

Nabiki and Kasumi gaped as the minotaur grabbed the kettle, upended it over
himself, and turned into a portly man with evil piggy little eyes.

"Thank you. I am Genma Saotome," said the man, bowing slightly.

"Genma! So good to see you," Soun exclaimed, holding an ice pack to his
head.

"No time, we've got to save your daughter's life!" Genma turned and began a
dash towards the dojo.

Ranma came out of the dojo, someone draped over his shoulder. "Man. She
*sucks.*"

"Aaaaa! My little daughter is dead!" Soun began wailing.

"Pop, why did you want me to challenge this dojo? I stopped her with a
forehead flick. This wouldn't even make a decent warmup."

"Oooo," said Akane. "I'll try the red dress, mommy."

Akane was quickly laid down and got Soun's ice pack on her forehead.

"Well, son, these are my daughters. This is Kasumi, she's 19. This is
Nabiki, she's 17. This is Akane, she's 16. Pick whichever one you like..."
Soun noticed Genma making shushing gestures behind Ranma's back.

Ranma made a face. "I'm not a cannibal, Mister Tendo."

"That wasn't what he meant," began Nabiki.

"Oh?" Ranma thought a bit then brightened. "Oh! This is like that society on
Yellow Island, isn't it? Oh well that's different! I was worried there for a
moment."

Kasumi's blush increased as the boy eyed Nabiki and herself for a few
moments.

"...but I don't like brussel sprouts," Akane informed everyone during the
silence.

"You two are actually okay with this?" Ranma asked. The one girl was
blushing and looking down at the floor. Kinda like Ami. The other met his
eyes and seemed to be a bit more like Rei.

"Family honor is involved," said Kasumi, though she was really hoping more
would be involved.

"Well, I'd kind of like to get to know you first," said Nabiki after
continuing to consider this boy.

Ranma shrugged. "Okay. Fine."

"You're going to choose which one to be your wife?" Soun asked in the
silence.

"HUH?!" Ranma was flabbergasted. "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"

"...boys are icky! I like girls." Akane said in a little girl's voice.

"What did you think he meant?" Nabiki wondered aloud.

"You know like Yellow Island," said Ranma absently, giving his father a look
that seemed to promise unspeakable violence was in the offing. "You defeat a
dojo there, you get one of the students to be your indentured servant for
five years during which time you take them on as a student as well - then
they go back and make their own dojo stronger or they renew for another five
years."

"No, the arrangement was to marry one of my daughters. So which will it be?"
Soun wondered where Yellow Island was. If the Master had ever gone there
he'd likely never have come back.

Ranma considered something, then doused his father with cold water. "You're
able to take more punishment as a minotaur, Pops."

The minotaur turned to flee but was stopped by Ranma grabbing his tail. The
minotaur's churning hooves began to seriously tear up the floor.

Ranma held up a finger. "Let's see. There was the 'I need to gauge your
skill level so I'm going to take you to this *cursed* training ground in
China' crap. Remember *that* good idea, Oyaji? If you'd gotten me cursed the
Beijing circus would have a stuffed minotaur on exhibit, you know? Then
there was the Amazon village, remember that one? Oh yeah, 'let my son fight
off the entire damn village because I couldn't keep my hands off the feast'
or something along those lines wasn't it?"

"Huh?" Akane sat up abruptly, then winced and wished she hadn't. "Hey! I'm
not beaten yet! I... how did I get into the living room?"

"Mister Tendo, did you know that my *Mom* is the 'head of clan' for my
family? Carries the sword and everything. If she doesn't give her approval,
it doesn't happen. She's *already* engaged me." Ranma explained this while
casually keeping the minotaur in place.

"WHAT?! GENMA! IS THIS TRUE?" Soun glared at his old friend.

"Excuse me, but he's had this coming for awhile." Ranma let the minotaur go
momentarily, then re-snagged him in the back yard. With a quick flick of his
arm, he launched the minotaur into the air.

"Hey, you, our fight isn't over yet!" Akane didn't want to admit defeat
until this guy moved at least. The last time he'd just stood there as far as
she could tell.

"Ka ME!" Ranma brought his hands back and cupped them, looking at the
distant speck in the sky. "Ha ME!" A bright glow formed and then filled the
space between his hands.

"Hey, I'm talking to you!" Akane started forward then realized what she was
looking at. "Oh."

"HA!" Ranma wasn't bothering with a powered up version of the kamehameha.
The basic was enough. Turning, he addressed the Tendo patriarch, beginning
to hover in the air preparatory to flying off. "Just letting you know. Three
strikes. He's out. It'll probably take him a day or two to get back."

Soun considered. "So, uhm, which daughter did you..."

"Oh he wants..." Kasumi blinked repeatedly. Three strikes and he was willing
to blast his father somewhere out into the Sea Of Japan. What would be left
of her house if Ranma was engaged to Akane with *her* temper? (Sudden image
of her sweeping out a bomb crater.) "Nabiki! Definitely Nabiki." Nabiki
needed someone to rein her in, so this was a perfect arrangement.

Nabiki looked at the boy hovering in midair. She tried manipulating or
pushing this boy around and he'd push *back!* And she didn't like hospitals.
Admittedly Akane had attacked *him* and he hadn't done much, but could she
keep control of a situation with a guy who could fly and throw energy
bolts?! "Akane! He definitely wants Akane!" Akane was the toughest
physically out of all of them. If any of them could survive the courtship,
it would be Akane! Besides, Akane needed someone she could beat on who
wouldn't get injured.

Akane blinked repeatedly. A martial artist who could throw energy bolts and
fly? Then her earlier estimate had been correct? The throbbing headache was
caused by someone so good he could *casually* defeat her? He'd HIT her? No
way would *she* end up with someone like that! Nobody could hurt Kasumi
though! She was too sweet and gentle for anyone to harm. "Kasumi! He wants
Kasumi!"

Soun blinked, thinking back to an earlier statement. Maybe if they got a
chance to know each other? And if Ranma's mother got to know the girls, then
surely they'd win her heart. "Why not go with that Yellow Island thing?"

Kasumi blinked in the middle of pushing Nabiki forward. Nabiki stopped
trying to push Akane forward. Akane stopped trying to push Kasumi forward.
"WHAT?!"

--------

Kasumi looked sadly back at her house. Nabiki sniffled at the thought of
dismantling her network of spies, informants, and purchasing agents. Akane
grumbled LOTS.

"I can't believe we were sold off like that, there are laws you know!" Akane
was not a happy camper by any stretch of the imagination.

"At least we get out of it during school time," said Nabiki. "Though I've
got to rebuild everything at Crossroads Senior."

Kasumi turned and began trudging along, the picture of dejection.

"Well, when I start training you, you'll be able to fly here during your off
time."

Kasumi came to a complete stop and stared up at Ranma, pictures of Peter Pan
flitting through her head. "Fly?"

"Yeah, you said something about taking us on as students, didn't you?"
Nabiki considered what it would be like if *she* could fly. The business
opportunities were high.

"So you're our sensei?" Akane mused. That wouldn't necessarily be a bad
thing.

"Yeah, I didn't realize I'd be taking on so many students," said Ranma from
where he hovered.

"Many?" Nabiki asked.

"NI HAO, AIREN!" A crowd of girls in Chinese clothes exclaimed in unison.

"How am I gonna explain *this* to Mom?" Ranma asked the heavens.

===================

OMAKEOMAKEOMAKEOMAKE

Yet Another Worse Father Than Genma series

He was older than this planet. Older than the pitiably weak yellow G-class
sun that the planet orbitted. Older than this universe itself.

While his ever-present hunger lingered, so did a different hunger.
Curiosity. Even though the milling throngs around him were as ants before
him, still they had stymied his hunger on several occasions.

It was difficult to project a tiny fragment of himself into this world so as
to observe it without his presence overwhelming the simple lifeforms. How
did a species such as this embody so much of the best and the worst of the
various sentients that he'd seen in his long journey?

His attention was drawn to a father throwing his child into a pit of hungry
cats. Power? He wanted the boy to have power and so was sacrificing his
child? How pitiable.

His hunger sent a gnawing at him. He had to leave and find sustenence. A
scout was needed, someone to find that which was needed.

Well then, if the boy needed power, then the choice of a Herald was clear.

-----------

What If Galactus Had Raised Ranma? an omake by Metroanime

-----------

Ten years had passed.

Galactus had, with his herald, faced someone named Sailor Galaxia. Galaxia's
attack had been ludicrous - at least if one were armed with the Power
Cosmic. To use it against Ranma the Waverider had been ill-advised. To try
using it against Galactus himself?

Well, Galaxia had provided enough sustenence that Galactus had given Ranma
some time off. Time to check out the old neighborhood.

Waverider could track a neutrino through the heart of a galactic core, so
finding the blue green world of his birth was easy.

Walking the streets of Tokyo was a let down. After the crystalline
hive-cities of the Mu, the gaudy glamour of the Shi'ar colonies, the dirty
and labyrinthine mazes of the Skrulls, or even the high tech strictness of a
Kree settlement, this was just plain pathetic. It failed to inspire, and was
neither particularly good nor particularly bad.

Had he come here in his official capacity as Herald, he would have deemed
this world suitable for Galactus to slake his hunger. There was nothing here
that struck him as special.

Now to track down that excuse for a parental unit that had fed him to those
cats long ago.

-------

*THWAM!* A heavyset man slammed into the dirt behind the Tendo home almost
hard enough to break bones.

Ranma lowered himself more sedately. "Well, old man? Give me one good reason
I shouldn't strip the atoms off your body."

"GENMA, MY OLD FRIEND!" Soun rushed out of the house to hug his old buddy.
"And who is this, is this Ranma?"

Seeing some strange old guy about to leap forward and molest him, Ranma
lifted a hand and let the Power Cosmic crackle around it. "Don't even think
about it, you hentai."

Soun backed up a little nervously. "Genma? You didn't mention that your son
could float in midair or do *that* when you called."

"Well, this is unexpected," said Nabiki as she stepped out onto the veranda
with her two sisters. "I take it that Ranma is like one of those American
superheroes we hear about in the news."

"Hmmmph, I could take him on," said Akane, trying to convince herself.

"Well, son, you wanted me to give you one reason you shouldn't kill me, heh
heh." Genma briefly wondered if perhaps this wasn't his wisest move. "You
see, Soun here has something he wants to tell you."

"These are my daughters Kasumi, she's 19, Nabiki, she's 17, Akane, she's 16.
Pick anyone you like, she'll be your new fiancee."

There was brief dead silence from everyone. Finally Ranma spoke. "You're
shitting me."

"Uhm, son, you really shouldn't use language like that. You *must* marry one
of my daughters. Well, which one is it going to be?" Soun blinked, was Ranma
*glowing*?!

"I am Ranma, the Waverider, Herald Of Galactus. How DARE you demand things
of me!" Ranma was not at all happy about this. Galactus could tell him what
to do, of course. These *worms* dared to order him about?!

"Galactus?" squeaked Nabiki, who immediately vanished and hid underneath her
bed. Not that she would have thought this an effective tactic, but then she
wasn't thinking logically at this point anyway.

"Oh my," said Kasumi. "Galactus, the Devourer Of Worlds, the Terminator Of
Civilizations. Oh dear." At which point Kasumi fainted as the implications
of this hit her.

Akane stepped forward and made a fist. "You're not eating any planets while
*I'm* around! I challenge you!"

Ranma idly pointed a finger and used a tiny amount of the Power Cosmic to
flatten the girl. He was used to fighting mile long Kree dreadnaughts or
planetary guardians or elite strike troops like the Shi'ar Imperial Guard.
An angry teenage girl without special powers was hardly something he could
take seriously.

That the girl got back up and threw a concrete lantern at him caused Ranma
some slight pause.

"How dare you hurt my little girl?!" Soun Tendo began his Demon Head Attack.

Ranma blew it and most of the home away with a negligent wave of his hand.
"Hmmm. You know, in some cultures they have an interesting concept called a
'pet'. The sentients on those worlds keep a lower lifeform which then is
someone they can care for and which then provides some degree of
companionship."

"You want a pet?" Genma asked as he watched the younger Tendo girl throw
various objects at the hovering Ranma without any apparent effect.

Ranma nodded his head, beginning to smile. "Yes. A pet. That will do."

Akane realized that everyone was looking at her. "Uh UH. No way! I'm not
going to marry some supervillain!"

"Of course not," said Ranma, as if speaking to a child. "I wouldn't want to
marry some lower lifeform anyway."

Akane twitched as the glow around the Herald of Galactus intensified.
"What?!" She had a very bad feeling about this.

--------

Galactus sighed as he saw what his Herald had brought in. "Ranma. How many
pets are you going to accumulate anyway?"

"Just a few," said Ranma. "I ran across this concept of an 'ant farm' and I
thought it had some merit for when I'm 'off duty'."

"Fine, but make sure that you take care of them when you're *off* duty. You
are the Herald of Galactus and not a zoo keeper," said Galactus, privately a
little amused at the antics of his Herald.

-------

"Oh my."

"You got that right, sugar."

"Shampoo want strong husband but this is ridiculous."

"Let me OUT! I don't belong here!"

"Shut UP, Akane. Little sister, do you think any of us particularly like
this situation?"

"But Nabiki..."

"The twelve foot hamster wheel is kind of concerning."

"That isn't the only thing 'concerning' about this setup, Kino-san."

"Maybe you *shouldn't* have said 'the rest of the Sailor Senshi will defeat
you', Mako-chan. I think he took that as a challenge."

Kasumi sighed as she looked out from their self contained environmental
bubble. "Do you suppose we can get him to put in a kitchen at least?"

==============

Well, this should be different at least...

gregg

OMAKEOMAKEOMAKEOMAKE

>From the "A Worse Father Than Genma" series. A truly disturbing thought.

---------

Genma Saotome knew he was on the right track. The training manual had said
to wrap a child in fish sausages and throw them into a pit filled with
starving cats to learn an unbeatable technique known as the Catfist.

He'd starved the boy, he'd beaten the boy, he'd repeatedly sold the boy. No
sacrifice was too great for Genma Saotome if it would make the boy a
superior martial artist!

Genma looked over his preparations.

Since throwing the five year old boy into a pit of starving cats hadn't
worked immediately, he'd been looking for something different. Then he'd
found it, subdued the creatures (cat spirits or monsters of some kind), and
thrown them into a pit. Now he would teach Ranma the Catfist for sure!

--------

They were known by different names through their wanderings.

Some called them the Neko-kata after a similarly psychically gifted race
that was out there in the multiverse somewhere. Some called them the Maujin
after a race they superficially resembled. Some called them terms and
phrases not meant for gentlebeings to overhear. They called themselves
something that sounded like a trilling purr ending with a mew.

They were a race of intelligent, magically and psychically powerful,
catgirls.

They had grown up on a world and in a universe far far away. They had been
genetically engineered for grace and beauty and psychic potential. They
possessed minor shapeshifting powers to better fit in with whatever race
they interacted with. They reproduced by finding males of some similar
species to bond emotionally and mate physically with, or by finding suitable
hosts that could be brought into the species by the implanting of a "seed".
They were also cosplayers and roleplayers who tended to take those things to
extremes.

When an "away team" had found themselves waylaid by some overweight martial
artist, they had faked their capture because they were very curious as to
what was going on.

On finding a human male child thrown into their midst, they agreed that this
*was* interesting, carefully took the fish sausages off the boy and debated
what to do. The boy was scared and hurt and hungry, so they took these
observations into account.

There was also this 'Catfist' bit they were reading off of the adult mind
and the child. Combine the powers of a cat and a human? Sounded fun!

Deciding to call themselves the Nyanjin in this particular universe, the
catgirls decided that they were a bit too old for bonding with this
particular boy. This world looked like fun, so going around and melding a
few native girls with their DNA/persona template would help things along.

The boy, because he *was* a boy, wasn't suitable for being a catgirl.
However, they *did* have a possibility they'd been toying with for a few
centuries and trying to refine. Maybe this was the right time to implement
it?

They were cat-based beings, playing around was something they couldn't
resist.

--------

WHAT IF RANMA WERE 'RAISED' BY THE NYANJIN?

-------

Genma smiled as the lid of the pit exploded. Waitaminute. Was the Catfist
supposed to involve his son getting cat ears and a tail? He didn't think
that was how it was supposed to go.

The cat spirits were racing out of the pit too. They ignored him and went
flying along in all directions, apparently looking for something.

Genma had a *very* bad feeling develop.

-------

Six year old Ranma walked through the mists with some odd girls.

They were his age apparently, or a little younger. They had tails and ears
like a cat, they moved kinda like a cat. They were the Nyanjin and they were
his harem. The whole idea was so totally bizarre that Ranma had difficulty
wrapping his mind about it, so he just took harem to be a group of female
friends you could play and train with.

That this was actually called a pride that had accepted Ranma as the
Alpha-Heir to their little group (as soon as he grew up) was not something
Ranma could quite grasp either.

They had just visited a world that had these strange manga and each of them
had immediately settled into a role. Including costumes, somehow changing
their hair color, and a few other things.

"Here we go, Ranma-sama," said Blue32, a catgirl with bluish hair who was
trying to get used to her new name - Ami.

Ranma looked around but couldn't see anything that made this patch of mist
different from any other. It was a Nyanjin thing apparently. "Whatta ya mean
'Here we go'?"

"This universe has some of the most intense and powerful martial arts
training available," said Ami. "Ruled by an evil empire that forbids weapons
to all but the highest castes, it still has monster attacks on the outlying
villages. In order to fight off these ravagers, a powerful style of martial
arts was developed - the Hyaku No Gyakusatsu Ken."

"Hundred Slaughtering Fist?" Ranma blinked. "That sounds kind of silly."

"Well," said Yellow15, who was forever after known as Minako. "If you don't
want to study martial arts, we *could* go play over there!"

Ranma frowned. "So who says I didn't want to learn martial arts? As long as
it's not like stupid Pops with his tie me up and throw me in a pit stuff."

---------

The seven year old stretched and popped his knuckles. "Okay, so this other
system is called what?"

"They call it the Hokuto Shin Ken or 'Northstar godfist'," said Ami,
absently looking over her booklet 'Martial Arts Of The Multiverse vol IV'
booklet. "There's also a sister style called 'Nanto Sei Ken' or 'Southern
Cross Spirit Fist'." (1)

"Pretentious, ain't they," said Ranma with a smile.

"The problem is that they're closed schools, so what I'd have to do is
telelink you," said Usagi. "That way you'll learn the moves as soon as he
uses them. Then you'll just have to train yourself in them from those
memories. The hard part is veiling our presence."

"That's what ya did in that last world, ain't it?" Ranma smirked. "So what
are we waitin' for?"

---------

"Thank you for your instruction, Kenshin-sensei," said nine year old
Ranma.(2)

"Arigato, Yoda-sama," said twelve year old Ranma with a bow. "Your
instruction has been most helpful."(3)

"Sir Clef, it has been nice working with you." Ranma waved over his head
before the thirteen year old vanished into a paradimensional rift.(4)

"Bye bye, Gohan-san, Kurillyn-san, Shinkami-sensei," the fifteen year old
called out before disappearing amidst a set of curtsying catgirls.(5)

----------

The sixteen year old bowed formally to his teachers for the past year. He'd
have to go back and visit some of 'em later on. It was certainly different
from what had happened with his father, in those cases he'd never be
welcomed back there.

"So, we need to take a breather, eh? Well, some of the moves I've still got
up here," Ranma tapped his head, "but I still have to master physically."

Ami nodded. "Besides, you're sixteen now. In your homeplane that's old
enough to marry us."

Immediately Ranma found himself in a group cuddle. "HEY! Give me some room,
will ya? I've still got to back and find out if there's anything to what the
Away Team found out about 'previous arrangements'."

Ami shrugged. Gaining another co-wife or two or three was hardly a big deal
to her or any of the Nyanjin. There were ways of handling it, after all.

---------

Nodoka Saotome was many things. On getting a letter from someone claiming to
be her son, Ranma, who had been out of the country learning martial arts
with some friends, she simply went over and bashed her husband over the
head.

It had been a suggestion in a postscript from a previous letter. The
suggestion had been that it would make her feel better. So far, it *had*
been nice.

One letter had been received every year since Ranma had vanished. There was
no postmark, no stamps, and in most cases no envelope. The letter simply
mysteriously appeared in her stack of mail. And the photographs, dear sweet
kami, the photographs!

Quaint looking rural villages, a forest of thick trees that she couldn't
name, what looked like a themepark of some Disarmament era recreation, a
swamp, some castle courtyard, some odd field with trees that had the most
peculiar shade of blue leaves, and lastly some great ampitheatre.

Nodoka quietly handed the new letter off to her husband, then went back to
read the other letters where they were safely stored. Ah, her son was *so*
manly. Just look at all the cute girls who managed to sneak into each and
every one of the photos! And sometimes the little scribbled notes in some
different handwriting would mention how *she* was going to be the one to
marry Ranma.

No, Nodoka Saotome was not one to harbor any doubts about the young man with
the taut musculature who was being pursued by so many young girls. Even if
most of them had strange catlike ears and a tail. To have so many feminine
pets was surely manly, and that picture of him wielding a sword... so like
an epic samurai.

Genma grumbled and rubbed his head as he read the letter. So his wimp
crybaby of a son was coming home? Well, he'd show the boy what all his
slacking had done, then he'd drag him off to the Tendo home! Misery is a
dish that was best shared, as the Master had repeatedly taught them.

There was a knock on the door and (oddly enough) some meowing and talking.

--------

Soun grinned at his three girls. Genma's phone call had given him a hope he
hadn't possessed in years. "He'll be here any moment."

A long whistling noise terminated with a *THUD!*

A large heavyset man with a smouldering gi landed in the Tendo backyard.

"Wow, talk about good timing," said Nabiki, nibbling on the end of a rice
cracker.

"Saotome?" Soun ran out to inspect the unconscious man. "Saotome! It *is*
you! Oh, Kasumi, can you get the first aid kit?"

--------

"So let me get this straight," said Nabiki, looking over the crew. Ranma was
pretty easy on the eyes, but the crowd waiting outside was just plain scary.
"You're Ranma Saotome and you just learned about this engagement thing,
right?"

Ranma nodded.

"These are *real* catgirls who have all decided they're going to marry you,"
Nabiki said, with a gesture at the crowd in the backyard. "Though you've got
some reservations about that yourself, you're also friends with all of them
and aren't sure you want to make it a group marriage thing."

Ranma nodded again. Several catgirls frowned even though they knew him on
this issue.

"You can't marry them, son. The Saotome-Tendo arrangement takes precedence.
So which of my lovely daughters will you take?" Soun gestured towards where
Akane was laid out on the floor, having tried to start a fight with Ranma
immediately after he'd "defended himself" from Soun trying to hug him. Soun
had merely been tossed through a window. Akane attacking from behind had
gotten a seven hit combo and was currently unconscious. "That's Akane, she's
sixteen."

"I'm Nabiki, I'm seventeen. My big sister currently putting a cold compress
on Akane's head is named Kasumi and she's nineteen. I'm the financial whiz,
Kasumi's the housekeeper, and Akane's the fighter." Nabiki decided she was
tired of this already. This boy was cute, but had enough willing girls
behind him that Nabiki didn't think her own chances were likely.

"Well, Nabiki-san," said Ranma, "I'm not sure about this situation."

"I can see that," agreed Nabiki. "You're not rich are you?"

"How wealthy is rich?" Ami asked from the door. "We've been managing his
resources for him."

"How much have to got?" Nabiki replied back.

"Nabiki, that's not very polite," pointed out Kasumi. Though being a
Japanese girl she was also interested in the bottom line.

"In this universe, he's..." Ami started working on her computer. "Currently
worth about half a ton."

"Half a ton of what?" Nabiki took another nibble of rice cracker. There was
no way she'd end up in some group marriage.

Ami looked up innocently. "Isn't gold a currency of exchange here?"

(coughcoughcoughcough hack cough) Nabiki started turning blue.

"Oh?" Kasumi thought for a few moments trying to come up with conversation.
Failing, she fell back to her stand by. "Well, I suppose I should get back
to the kitchen."

"Do you need any help?" asked a number of the catgirls.

Kasumi blinked. Someone offering to help? How odd.

"Well, son?" Soun asked, lighting a cigarette.

(SWOOSH! THUNK!)

Soun stared at the sheared off end of his cigarette. He looked back out into
the yard but there were just a lot of innocent looking catgirls.

(cough cough cough gag cough)

"Oh my, Nabiki, that doesn't sound very good." Kasumi glanced back at where
Nabiki was now looking rather not so good at all. She quickly moved to
Nabiki's side to pat on her sister's back.

"Hang on," said one of the catgirls, "I can fix that, myan!"

(gag wheeze choke)

Akane woke up, saw one of the catgirls advancing on her sister, and tried to
come to the rescue. Unfortunately all she managed to do was trip the catgirl
so that she fell on Kasumi.

"Oh dear," said Kasumi, having ended up on the floor in a tangle with a
furry ponytailed catgirl. "Oh my, you've got sharp teeth."

"uh oh. Usagi? You didn't..." Ranma looked at the two. "You did."

"Oh myaow!" Kasumi reached back and tugged her tail free where it had gotten
bunched up in her panties. Then felt where her ears had popped out. "What
happened, nyan, to me?"

"Nyanjin have the ability to pass their genetic template on to others,
usually by a kiss or something similar to that," explained Ami. "It normally
only works with the female of the species."

"Oh dear," said Kasumi, wondering at all the odd sensations currently going
through her. "What does this mean, exactly?"

"Well, you'll stay young longer than a human, as a Nyanjin hybrid you could
live five hundred Earth years." Ami tried to emphasize just the good points.
After all, the girl looked rather shocked right now. No point in telling her
about the psychological effects. "Your senses are much more acute and
sensitive, your strength and agility are much higher, if you're injured
you'll heal several times faster than a human would, your nails will grow in
thicker and tougher, and you'll be much..."

Kasumi sniffed at Ranma a few times, not sure why but she suddenly found him
enormously attractive.

Akane got unsteadily up. "How dare you turn my sister into a werewolf?! I
challenge you!"

Ranma shook his head. "This cannot be happening, absolutely can *not* be
happening."

"I really don't think this is a good idea," said Usagi.

Akane threw a punch at the girl's jaw. Usagi opened her mouth to protest
some more. The obvious occurred - Akane's punch went into the open mouth and
Usagi bit down. Breaking the skin on Akane's knuckles.

"Nyaoooww," Akane protested as she gained cat ears and a tail.

"There there," said Usagi, moving to the new catgirl's side and scratching
her ears and rubbing her mane. That she'd gotten hurt by this girl didn't
matter to Usagi. Akane immediately (and to her own surprise) calmed down and
started moving into the stroking.

(cough hack!) Nabiki finally gasped for air and tried to focus on how two of
her sisters now had tails and cat ears.

Soun stared and tried to get his mouth working.

Ranma sighed. Why did this sort of thing keep happening? Try to look up his
old buddy Ucchan? He turns out to be a she, and Makoto bites her while
trying to protect him. Run across that hunting party in China and that
purple haired girl gets defeated in a fight. That had been all right until
that girl had gotten up and kissed Minako, Minako had kissed back, and
they'd added a purple maned catgirl to the pride.

"This is inexcusable, I said *marry* one of my daughters not turn them into
housepets!" Soun had finally recovered use of his mouth. "Are you sure you
don't want to turn all three of them into..."

So excited with the new feelings and pleasures of this new form, Akane had
playfully leapt on Nabiki and bit her.

Ranma hung his head. "I can't take any of you anywhere, can I?"

--------

"Nyaa, where we go now?" Akane strutted forward, pulling on the straps of
her backpack.

"Well, there's some martial arts we could learn in another timeline,"
suggested Makoto. "What about that world with the cyborgs dueling each
other?"

"Tiphares?" Ami nodded. "Though maybe some other skills as well, there's
that one with the green and purple giant robot."

Akane eagerly nodded. Learning martial arts with the other members of her
pride was fun! So was cuddling up with her sisters. She'd never been this
close to Kasumi or Nabiki before, and now she had a whole lot of other
sisters to be close to! "Nyaa! Sounds like a plan!"

Ranma trudged along, ignoring the happily meowing catgirl pack around him.
He hoped that the next world turned out to have fewer surprises, and that
they didn't leave with more catgirls than he arrived with.

He just had a bad feeling about both prospects.

==============

(1) Fist Of The Northstar/Hokuto No Ken. Just in case nobody knew.
(2) Ruroni Kenshin/Samurai X/Wandering Samurai
(3) Star Wars
(4) Magic Knight Rayearth
(5) Dragonball Z

--
-----------
"What wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness?" Jean-Jacques
Rousseau

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