[Ranma][FanFic] Markings
Nicholas Leifker
Leifker presents...
Markings
A Ranma 1/2 work of anime fanfiction, set in the Iris tales, by Nicholas
Leifker
All Ranma 1/2 characters created by Rumiko Takahashi; all others created
by me. All rights reserved. I ask that you not do anything with any
part of this work without permission from the author.
Enjoy the show...
***
My wrists sting as they descend beneath the water's surface; blood, as
bright as a stop sign, smokes into the bath, turning the water to a
sickly pink hue. It's supposed to be warm, here; strange that the bath
seems cooler, now. Heavy-lidded eyes watch my life seep from my
veins... a gentle smile crosses our lips as I begin to let go.
My trial is finished. No more to live for; it's time for me to move
on. Akane... Akane should be happy, now that I'm out of the way. She
can get on with her life, and love... love a real man. Nobody will have
to worry about me anymore; even I've stopped doing that. I shrink into
myself; the cold is coming... so cold...
"Mommy! Mommy, wake up!"
I open my eyes, and blink the nightmares away. My hand reaches out for
something more precious; despite what I've seen, I can't help but match
her smile. "Okay, okay... just give Mommy a couple of minutes, okay?"
"Okay!" She bounces away with energy I vaguely remember having once,
leaving me alone in my bed once more. The ceiling immediately grabs my
attention; I turn over and stare at the stucco for a minute.
Well. It had definitely been awhile since he visited like that. Not a
visitor I prefer in my dreams - then again, perhaps it's a good thing he
did come to visit.
He is dead. That was the last message of a man who couldn't live with
himself, and bid adieu to the life he'd been dealt. His ashes have been
cold for years - however, I still remember his life fondly.
I reach my arms to the sky, and stare at the marks I'd given myself that
day. Two long white scars, one on each wrist, like a pair of bracelets
I can't get off. Not that I want to, of course; they're a reminder,
after all, a note to myself sometimes when things get tough. I trace
the line of one with a finger; the cold touch of steel comes back,
giving me the chills.
It had been a near thing. Life... or death? Easy question for most -
unless you end up in a body that isn't yours, facing a future you'd
rather not see. Heck, if I had seen who I'd become, I probably would
have finished the job. Better to die in some cold furo than become some
stupid *girl*...
Well, I became a girl - a woman, actually, much to my surprise. And...
and it's not that bad. I can still kick everyone's tail in a fight; I
can still be as rough as I want to be. I can still be me; it's just
that... that *me* is more than what I was.
I roll over onto my side, toward the empty half of the bed. His side is
cold, now; however, I san still smell his scent in the sheets, reminding
me of a million little things, a million secrets we share. I remember
that smile he has, so free of the bluster he'd known; his dark eyes
swallow me, speaking of mysteries I cannot speak, but intimately feel.
Other, more private thoughts leap to mind, and I blush slightly in
remembrance.
He's a good man - better than I would have been. He knows love - we
know love - and we're both stronger for it. Yes, I love him; my other
self could not know it, but I can. In that moment, I give thanks for
the crazy things that brought us together, those trials that taught us
what love really is.
My daily affirmations done, I rise from the bed. I let my nightgown
fall to the floor, tossing off one shell and putting on another. The
slacks and shirt feel like a second skin; even after all these years,
it's in these clothes that I am most comfortable. A few moments of
primping, and I'm ready to face the day.
"Mommy!"
She leaps into my arms, a scarlet blur that I can barely hold on to at
the best of times. I twist her upside-down in my grasp, and take
delight in her giggles. A flick of the wrist and she's right-side up,
her face inches from mine.
"Good morning, Akiko!" Does she hear all I put into those words - the
song of love and fear and caring and mourning represented in a few slips
of the tongue? Can she know, even if she does?
"Good morning, Mommy!" Her song echoes mine, but is so different; hers
cries of simple love in its most perfect form. She hugs me around the
neck and kisses my cheek - a treasure for years from now, when she has
made her own life. "let's go, let's go!"
I give her a stern look; I see what plans she makes... "Don't tell me
you want to beat up on my beginners again..."
Her dark eyes light up like a Christmas tree. "Yeah!"
Yep; she's definitely my daughter. I set her down and look her in the
eyes - another conversation to remember.
"Now, Akiko, you can't expect to fight my beginning students every day.
They're still just learning, after all. And, being beat... they don't
like that." I think back for a moment, and smile. "Tell you what. If
they challenge you, then you can fight them. Okay?"
"Okay..." She doesn't sound too happy about that; she's as stubborn as I
was, and she wants a challenge. I pick her up into my arms once more;
after stopping to grab my purse and sunglasses, we're quickly on our
way.
My eyes turn to the sky as we begin our journey. It's a perfect day,
with the sun brilliant in the morning sky; for a moment, I wonder if
someone faces such light with despair. Once, I did; once, days were for
existence, not enjoyment. And... one such day nearly became my last.
It's good that my daughter has such a diametrically opposite view from
that. She can barely stay in my arms; she wants to go everywhere, see
everything, do everything.
And... I can't fault her for it. I was the same way, once; she'll need
that energy if she plans to get through growing up. I see so much of
the potential I had at that age, when everything was innocent and no
force on Earth could stop me - before I lost my best friend, before I
lost my humanity in a pit of cats.
Before I fell into a spring, and lost what man I was.
We reach the dojo sooner than I expected; guess my mind was elsewhere
during the travelling. I hear the sounds of men fighting, and smile;
it's a strange feeling being a part of them, and yet not.
My job as chauffer is done; Akiko leaps from my arms at the door, into
what has become her playground. I watch her as she begins her daily
adventures; she is always a part of me, and that part of me goes to play
with her.
"Hey, Ranma." An easy voice comes from the side; Akane casually stands
there, her infant son in her arms.
"Hey, Akane," I whisper in reply. I don't really see her; I look off to
what Kunou and I have created. "How's Hiroshi?"
"Fine," she replies. Her free hand touches my shoulder, a gentle touch
I would know in my sleep. "Ranma, are you okay?"
In the yard, my daughter plays with Hayao, Akane's eldest; I am lost in
the scene. There is me in her, true; however, there is more to it than
that. Her face is not all mine; some bits remind me of him, and also of
Akiko's 'crazy' Aunt Kodachi. She has more strength than I had at that
age; moreover, she's got gifts of the mind I can't comprehend.
Which is, I guess, the point. She is the best of both of us - and that
is the way it should be. I rub my wrists unconsciously; to think my
darkness nearly destroyed this...
I know better now. Life has been better with me - THIS me - here.
That's a scary thing to discover, but it is not without happiness. My
smile widens; I turn from my progeny.
"Yeah, Akane. I'm okay."
She pulls out a wry grin. "So. You wanna watch our husbands get all
sweaty while they work out?"
Mischief dances in Akane's eyes, a look I never understood in the old
days. We've been so much - fiancees, girl friends, competing mothers -
it's hard to say what we are now, except close. And, to be honest, her
suggestion does have some appeal...
"Sure. Come on; maybe we can make them even more hot and bothered
before the session's over." I lead her by the hand; like the pair in
the yard, we giggle without reservation, and revel in the playtime.
Yeah... I'd say things are going well.
***
Nicholas Leifker
nigh...@thekeep.org
http://www.thekeep.org/~nightelf/fanfic
April 4, 2000