[Ranma][FanFic] Daigakusei no Ukyou - Episode 5

[Digital Knight Communications]

I'm watching through the looking glass
At a girl I thought I once knew
But beneath the mellow tears
Not everything is clear
And I just don't know her anymore

Imagine the surprise
Reflected in her eyes

Generations pass and the child walks alone
I took for granted a love I could call my own
But I don't need anyone anymore
People have come and gone
But I have the strength to carry on
I have evened the score

The awakening has passed on.

+-----------------------------------------------------------+
| Daigakusei no Ukyou: As You Like It |
| |
| Created by David Tai, Paul Gallegos, |
| John Walter Biles and Jeff Hosmer |
| |
| Based on the characters created by Rumiko Takahashi |
+-----------------------------------------------------------+

===============================================================================
-= Episode 5: "Weekend at Lardy's!" =-
===============================================================================

[We see Kuonji-sama dropping off Ukyou and Megami at the train station in a
new car, albeit a fairly cheap compact. Ukyou, dressed like a boy, seems
uneasy, while Megami, whose growth "spurt" seems to have levelled off around
18 or 19 years old, smiles happily as she spots Makiko waiting off in the
distance by the station doors.]

Kuonji-sama: Enjoy your visit with your friend in Kyoto.

Ukyou: [laughs nervously] I'm sure it'll be loads of fun.

Kuonji-sama: I'd like to meet him some day. [pauses] I've never met a
real drunken-style martial artist. [smiles] It would be an
interesting match.

Megami: He's pretty good, but everyone back at school is better.

Ukyou: [laughs] Better not let him hear you say that.

Megami: I just don't understand why A..Maki-chan won't admit Lardizabal's her
boyfriend!

Kuonji-sama: [gives Megami a calculating look] Sometimes people find
it difficult to admit their true feelings. Haven't you
ever been in that position?

Megami: [laughs nervously] Yeah, sort of.

Kuonji-sama: [to Ukyou] Are you sure you have to go so soon? Your vacation
is not over yet already is it?

Ukyou: [shakes head] No, but I sort of promised Makiko that we'd go, if not
for anything else but moral support.

Kuonji-sama: [smiles] Well, have fun! I think your train is leaving
soon, so you'd better hurry.

Megami: [beams] Arigato! See you when we get back!

[The two girls take off, skid to a stop, look at each other, then run back and
grab their suitcases and take off again.]

Kuonji-sama: [smiles] Sometimes problems solve themselves.

[He drives off.]

* * *

[Makiko, Ukyou, and Megami arrive at the Kyoto train station, clambering out of
the train cars. They look around.]

Ukyou: So where's Tanaka-kun?

Makiko: [still looking] I don't know.

[A voice calls out from behind them.]

Lardizabal: [coming up from behind] Hey, what took you guys so long?
[He looks over at Ukyou.] Where's Ukyou-san?

[Megami suppresses a giggle. Ukyou gives her a look.]

Makiko: She couldn't make it. This is her younger brother Kosuke.

[Ukyou's jaw drops, and she shoots Makiko a horrified look. However, she
quickly regains her composure and smiles at Lardizabal as he gives her an
analytical look.]

Lardizabal: I see. [to Ukyou] Charmed, I'm sure. [grabs Makiko's arm] Could
you excuse us for just a second? Domo.

[The two step off to the side. Lardizabal has a questioning look on his face.]

Lardizabal: [whispering] Who invited him?

Makiko: [whispering] Uh.. Oh! Megami met him at the Kuonji's. They hit it off
[snaps fingers] like that. [pauses] She insisted. [smiles cutely at
Lardizabal] Gomen, ne... Tanaka-kun.

Lardizabal: [whispers] Well, I guess it's all right. Not like I can turn him
away or anything...

Makiko: [loudly] Really? Cool!

[She grabs her luggage and tosses them into Lardizabal's arms.]

Makiko: Let's go!

[Lardizabal gives her a strange look, which Makiko blithely ignores as she
sweeps past him. Ukyou follows, giving Makiko an evil eye, as Megami watches
the entire exchange with a grin.]

* * *

[The four step out of the cab in front of a lavish home with several streamers
and signs decorating the outside wall. The wall itself stands over 2 meters in
height, with small tiles and carvings near the top. The three girls marvel at
the sight, and the house that looms behind the wall, for a moment, then
Lardizabal gets out to pay the driver. Makiko unloads the bags from the trunk
as Ukyou walks up to the gate and examines the woodworking therein. Megami is
fiddling with an older, but expensive-looking instant camera. At a touch, the
gate opens to reveal a pathway to the front door amidst neatly trimmed bushes
and grass.]

Lardizabal: [to cab driver] See! Here we are!

Cab driver: [grumbling] About time.

Lardizabal: If you hadn't decided on taking that "shortcut" and followed my
directions, we'd have been here an hour ago!

Cab driver: Your way would've made us climb Mt. Fuji!

Lardizabal: [shouts] Bakayaro!!

[The cab driver growls and drives off in a squeal of tires]

Makiko: Well, Megami, shall we? [smiles]

Megami: [grins] Haaai!

[Megami pauses to take a snapshot, then puts the camera away. The two girls
hook arms and carry their bags through the gate.]

Lardizabal: Oi! Where're you going?

Ukyou: It looks like they're going inside. [smirks]

[Lardizabal shoots Ukyou a glare, then follows the girls inside. Ukyou lingers
a moment longer outside.]

Ukyou: [to herself] So Tanaka-san comes from an influential family. Or at
least a wealthy one. I think Maki-chan is in for a surprise. [smiles
inwardly]

[Inside, Ukyou stops to remove her shoes and put on a pair of slippers meant
for guests. She sees Megami waiting for her, motioning to hurry up. Smiling,
she jogs up to her, and the two women enter the reception area of the home.]

Lardizabal: [somewhat bored] Would you like the grand tour first, or would you
like to freshen up?

[The women don't answer immediately. Instead, they stare around the room at
the various artifacts, paintings and scrolls, some of which date easily back
a few hundred years. Megami reaches out to touch a jade vase, but Ukyou grabs
her hand and shakes her head no. Lardizabal leans against the couch with a
tired look on his face.]

Makiko: [looking around in wonder] I.. uh... well...

Megami: [also looking around] Um... I... wow.

Ukyou: [taking charge] Let's drop off all the bags first, ok?

Lardizabal: No problem.

[He exits the room through the same way they came in and walks up the stairs
across the hall. The girls slowly follow, their gazes still lingering in the
room. As the reach the landing, Lardizabal turns right, down a short hallway.
He opens the door near the end of the hall and the one across from it.]

Lardizabal: Here are your rooms. Makiko and Megami in one, and [slightly
sarcastic] Kosuke in the other.

Ukyou: [smirking] Why thank you, sir.

Lardizabal: ...

Megami: [looking back at Ukyou] Auntie... how come...

Makiko: [interrupting] Now's not the time, Megami.

Ukyou: [to Lardizabal] Tanaka-kun, should we meet you down in that room
across from the stairs when we're done?

Lardizabal: [blinks] Uh... sure. That's fine. [looks at watch] My cousin Goro
should be here by then too. I'll see you in, what, 20 minutes?

Makiko: That should be enough time.

[Lardizabal nods, then heads back downstairs. Ukyou waits till the sound
of footsteps is gone, then turns around to glare at Makiko.]

Ukyou: Okay, Maki-chan... I came here as your escort, but what the
heck do you think you're doing, makin' me to be... uh,
whassisname?

Megami: [helpfully] Kosuke.

Ukyou: Yeah, Kosuke. Maki-chan, you asked me to escort you to the wedding,
but THIS is ridiculous! Why doncha just...

Makiko: [grumbles] I don't want Tanaka-kun to take for granted that I'll
just up and follow him around anywhere. I got better things than
to chase after him.

Ukyou: [slapping her head] So you want me to pose as your date so HE'll
chase after you?

Makiko: [whaps Ukyou] Of course not! I just don't want him thinking that,
just cuz he asked me to come.

Ukyou: But if he finds out it's me...

Makiko: Oh come on, you've gone around as a boy for years. What's a day
gonna hurt?

Ukyou: Well, yeah, but Maki-chan, if he finds out, he's gonna think we're...

Makiko: You worry too much, Ucchan. [patpats Ukyou's cheek and heads off
into the bathroom]

Megami: Mom? I don't understand this at all.

Ukyou: I guess I'm pretendin' I'm Maki-chan's date.

Megami: Oh. So do I call you uncle Kosuke?

Ukyou: Hell no!

Megami: Okay, how about Ko-kun?

Ukyou: Just call me Kosuke, okay?

Megami: Ko-chan?

Ukyou: ME-GA-MI!!

* * *

[Half an hour later, the women walk downstairs, although Ukyou is still
dressed as a male. The three enter the reception area where they first
gathered, but Lardizabal is not there. Megami walks back to the foot of the
stairs and looks down the hall. Near the end of the long hallway, a faint
light can be seen coming through one door. She makes for the source of the
light, stopping in front of the door.]

Megami: [loudly] Anou... Anyone here? [knocks twice]

[A young man with dark hair and squarish, small-framed glasses slides open
the door.]

Young Man: Can I help... [jaw drops as he sees Megami's face]

Megami: [breathless] Uh.. hi...

[The two stand motionless for quite some time... until Ukyou appears behind
her.]

Ukyou: Excuse me, but would you know where Tanaka Lardizabal would be?

Young Man: Uh... hi- his room is next door. If the light's off, that just
means he's asleep.

Ukyou: Domo. [taps Megami's shoulder] C'mon, let's wake him up.

Megami: [not taking eyes off of young man] Do we hafta? I mean, if he's asleep
and all...

Ukyou: Yes. C'mon... [grabs hold of Megami's arm]

Megami: [sighs] Ok... [to young man] It was, uh...

Young Man: [smiles shyly] Tanaka Goro. Nice to meet you.

Megami: [blushes slightly] Kuonji Megami. [Ukyou's eyebrow raises slightly]
Nice to meet you too.

[Goro closes the door to his room slowly, as Megami stares at the door.]

Megami: Wow.

Ukyou: [nudging Megami] Hey, what about Uncle Ran-chan? [arched eyebrow]

Megami: What? What was that? [still staring at the door]

[Ukyou suppresses a smile, as the two walk down the hallway. She knocks on the
next door she comes to.]

Lardizabal: [from within] Go 'way!

Ukyou: Tanaka-san? I thought you were going to meet us downstairs?

Megami: Yeah, Auntie Maki is waiting for you!

[Lardizabal slides open the door quickly.]

Lardizabal: Right! Completely forgot! Where is she?

Ukyou: [shrugs] Probably outside taking a stroll or something.

Megami: [shrugs] Or maybe meeting some of your family...

[Ukyou elbows Megami, but Lardizabal has turned his attention back into his
room.]

Lardizabal: Well, she should probably stay away from some of the older ones.
They may not react too nicely to uninvited guests...

Ukyou: [angrily] Are you saying you didn't invite us??

[Lardizabal wheels back around.]

Lardizabal: [holds hands up] No, no... just that THEY don't know she's a guest.

Ukyou: [calmly] Oh, that makes sense.

[Lardizabal exits his room and closes the door behind him.]

Lardizabal: Well, let's go find her, shall we?

Megami: [cheerfully] Lead on!

[Lardizabal looks at Megami strangely, but leads the two down the hall. Makiko
is sitting in the middle of the stairwell playing a Nintendo Gameboy.]

Lardizabal: [smiles] Hey, Maki-chan.

Makiko: Sh. I'm about to get an extra life! [makes a face] AAA! Stupid goomba!

Ukyou: Oi! You said you weren't bringing that!

Makiko: [looks sheepish] Well, I didn't know how long you were going to be
gone, and...

Megami: [interrupting] My turn!

Lardizabal: Do you guys want a tour of the house or not?

Ukyou: [nods] Un.

Makiko: [brightly] Sure.

Megami: Sure whatever. [to Makiko] Gimme!

Ukyou: [to Megami] Not now. Put it away please, Makiko.

[Makiko stands up and puts the Gameboy in her back pocket. Megami pouts and
looks at Ukyou, who tries to ignore her. Lardizabal leads the way into the
reception area.]

Lardizabal: Basically, the house is a typical traditional house, except we
chose to put many of the family treasures in the reception room
here. [gestures wide]

Megami: What _are_ all of these? [pointing to the paintings]

Lardizabal: This is the Tanaka family gallery. A piece of art from each
generation of Tanaka is placed here, sort of a family history.
[without stopping] If you'll follow me this way, [motions to the
other door] we'll continue into the dining area.

Makiko: [impressed, and looking a bit nervous, tugging on Lardy's shirt to
stop him for a moment] Tanaka-kun...will your parents be here? I mean,
will I [swallows audibly] meet them?

Lardizabal: [frowning] I doubt it. My mom doesn't get along well with Dad's
side of the family.

Ukyou: Really?

Lardizabal: [shaking his head] She doesn't think very much of the drunken
style martial arts. Dad wanted to train me, but she'd never let
him. I went to grandpa's for the summer and he taught me on the
sly... by the time my mom found out it was sort of too late.
[his frown deepens] Which means my training is far behind anyone
else my age in the Tanaka family.

Makiko: Well, you should be proud to be as good as you are, considering.

Lardizabal: [mumbling] Not good enough to beat Ranma... [raises his voice]
Come on, there's lots of other rooms to show you.

[He slides open the door to reveal a large room with a long low table in the
center. Seating cushions lie next to both sides of the table. The table itself
is of polished oak, or a variation of it. Along the walls are pictures of the
countryside and various places in Japan, each also in a frame made out of the
same type of wood as the table. Two solitary lamps hang from the ceiling over
the table itself, providing the only light in the room.]

Lardizabal: The Tanaka Formal Dining Room. Here is where many of the Tanakas
have made decisions that affected the country as a whole.

Ukyou: Huh? Are you serious?

Lardizabal: No, I just thought I'd see what you'd do. [grins] We won't eat in
here, either. There's a smaller room next to the kitchen that's a
little more... casual.

[Makiko whaps Lardizabal in the back of the head lightly. Ukyou rolls her
eyes skyward.]

Megami: Speaking of which, I'm kinda hungry.

Lardizabal: [irritably] The ceremony is in a couple of hours. You can eat then.

[However, Megami's stomach growls loudly. Lardizabal winces.]

Lardizabal: Or... we can just go to the kitchen right now.

[Megami beams. Makiko and Ukyou hang their heads.]

* * *

[Makiko looks at herself in the mirror in her room and makes a face. She turns
to see Megami lying on her bed, playing with the Gameboy. She sighs and turns
her attention back to her hair, trying to brush it out.]

Makiko: [shouting] Ukyou, what time is it?

[Ukyou leans against the open door frame. She is dressed in a nice navy blue
suit with a white formal shirt underneath the vest. The shirt is clasped with
black onyx studs for buttons and cufflinks, and her hair is pulled back behind
her head and tied in a ponytail. Megami smiles in approval at her mother.]

Ukyou: [calmly] Ten-thirty. Why?

Makiko: Oh! Ukyou, I didn't hear you come in.

Megami: Mom's good at being silent, when she wants. [grins]

Ukyou: [looks at Megami] You hush. [smiles] Anyway, what's up that you're
so worried about the time?

Makiko: Well, I have to hurry if we're going to get to the wedding on time!
I mean, look at me! That tour took so long that now I haven't dressed
or put on makeup or done my hair...

Ukyou: [giggles] This is Tanaka-san's family we're talking about. Lateness
is not only requested, it's *required*.

Makiko: Oh, c'mon. You're being silly.

Megami: Um... Auntie Maki, she's not. Uncle Lardy's downstairs right now
watching TV with Goro-san. He's not even remotely dressed.

Makiko: [turns red] ...

Ukyou: However, I see that you're already dressed, Megami-chan.

[Megami twirls in a small circle. Her dress is a semi-formal pink and flowery
one that reaches down to just above her knees. She wears a small dress coat
over her shoulder that barely comes down to her midriff.]

Megami: Do you like it? Auntie Maki picked it out for me!

Ukyou: Hai. [grins] You're going to break every guy's heart at the reception!

[At this, Megami blushes. Makiko, however, has already gotten up and started
for the door.]

Ukyou: uh... Maki-chan? Where're you going?

Makiko: [slowly] I'm going to kill him. He's not even DRESSED yet?

Ukyou: But, Maki-chan, you're not...

[Without warning, Makiko takes off running down the hall to the stairs. Ukyou
and Megami look at each other, then follow her. Once downstairs, they can hear
her echoing footsteps down the hall toward Lardizabal's room.]

Makiko: [shouting] HOW DARE YOU!!!

Lardizabal: Nani?? Makiko?

[Ukyou and Megami reach Lardizabal's room to see him sprawled on the couch in
surprise, with Makiko grabbing his shirt with both hands and lifting him into
the air. Goro is cowering on the other side of the couch, peeking out from
behind several throw pillows.]

Makiko: You... you...!

Lardizabal: Oi! Oi! Calm down! What's going on?

Makiko: You're not even remotely ready for this thing! I'm slaving away to
make myself look nice for you and you don't even care!

Goro: Anou... he's already dressed. That's the traditional Tanaka family
formal outfit.

[All three women begin to sweat.]

Makiko: Tra... tra... traditional...

Goro: Hai. It sort of resembles a beggar's street clothes, but if you look
closely, you'll see it's made of the finest silk and thread...

[Makiko examines the cloth in her hands, then quickly but gently sets
Lardizabal onto the couch.]

Makiko: [disbelief] Silk?

Goro: Hai. Kind of like the slip you're wearing.

[Makiko looks down to notice she's only wearing her undergarments and a slip
with nothing else.]

Makiko: AAAAAA!!!! [runs out of the room]

Megami: [walking into the room] Goro-kun? Are you alright? Did she hurt you?

Lardizabal: [getting up] Oh yeah, I'm fine. Really.

Goro: I'm ok, Megami-chan. [stops to look Megami up and down] You look
great!

Megami: Really? You think so?

Goro: I mean it! You look beautiful!

Ukyou: [to herself] Really. [aloud] I guess I'll be in the reception room for
a while. It's getting quite hectic around here.

Lardizabal: Oh! Well, if you must. The reception hall is in the back, if you'd
rather go there now.

Ukyou: Er... no, I think I'd rather wait for everyone.

Lardizabal: [shrugs] Suit yourself. Goro will come get you when it's time.

Ukyou: [nods] Arigato.

[Ukyou takes one last look at Megami and Goro, who are deep in conversation,
before heading back to the reception area. As she goes, Lardizabal gives her a
thoughtful look as well, then dusts himself off and exits the room from the
other door.]

* * *

[Ukyou, Lardizabal, Megami, and Makiko enter the reception hall. On the way in,
walking slightly behind, Lardizabal takes a long pull from his gourd. The
sounds of celebration are slightly louder than the sounds of the music. Very
few of the Tanaka clan are sitting; they seem to be either passed out on the
floor or moving flamboyantly across the room, with little regard to personal
safety or property. Everyone has a drink in their hands of some sort, and
few look exceptionally sober. Near the back, a few of the younger Tanakas
seems to either falling all over themselves drunk, or sparring. A matronly
woman in a loud dress with a bottle marked only 'XXX' swings from a
chandelier, whooping loudly. Ukyou and Makiko stare into the room, wide-eyed,
though Lardizabal seems to be taking it in stride.]

Makiko: Should we...call the police? [Ukyou nods in agreement.]

Megami: No way! I gotta get some pictures of that!

Ukyou: [alarmed] Of what?

Megami: [points] Those two over there dancing on the chairs!

[Megami quickly runs off to photograph the madness.]

Lardizabal: [blinks] *hic* Police? Why? [waves the the older woman swinging on
the chandelier] Hey Auntie!

[A large gout of flaming sake is blown from the mouth of a stout, balding man
in chinese dress as he stumbles next to Ukyou and Makiko. Makiko shrieks in
fright.]

Lardizabal: Che, Uncle Wong, they aren't family, so show a little respect!

[Uncle Wong stumbles over Ukyou's foot headfirst into Lardizabal, who
sidesteps...or sideambles, then stumbles back to right himself, capturing
Uncle Wong in a headlock as he does so, seemingly for support. Tumbling
onto his back, his knee catches Uncle Wong in the gut, sending him up and
over Lardizabal into the wall. Lardizabal stumbles to his feet with Makiko's
help.]

Uncle Wong: [muffled by the wall] So sorry, honored miss, honored sir.
[passes out]

Makiko: Uh... oh... sure... are all of your family's weddings like this,
Tanaka-kun?

Lardizabal: Nahhhh... most of the younger Tanakas are stuck in school...
's usually much worse 'n this.

Makiko and Ukyou: ...

[Lardizabal leads Makiko and Ukyou through a crowd of drunken Tanakas,
often bumping into someone hard enough to knock them over, and swaying
drunkenly to avoid their 'accidental' bumps. They are seated at their
prearranged table.]

Makiko: These people are so rude, ne, Ucc...Kosuke-kun? They aren't even
paying attention to where they're going...they kept bumping into you,
Tanaka-kun.

Ukyou: [lost in thought] They kept bumping into Tanaka-san, but
they never did bump into us.

Lardizabal: [drunken grin] Yup... I think Kosuke-san's got it.

Makiko: [blinks] Nanda?

Lardizabal: Well... most a' the Tanaka's practice some kinda drunken style,
an' with the family all together like this, y'know, we get inna
lil' *hic* practice.

Makiko: [annoyed] Well...I don't see why you had to go and get drunk right
away, Tanaka-kun. I mean, you could have spent some time with m...
us first. [Ukyou grins a knowing grin]

Lardizabal: Hey! If I wasn't drunk, they'd eat me alive in here! Besides,
you're with Kosuke-san, as I recall!

[Makiko's expression lowers the temperature of the area by a few degrees
centigrade.]

Ukyou: Er...so, Tanaka-kun...what's that they're doing over there?

Lardizabal: *hic* Cousin Yuji? Thas'Han, holdin' a pot in his arms.
[Cousin Yuji rolls some poor Tanaka's head around in his arms,
then releases him where he thumps to floor, overwhelmed with
dizzyness] S' one a' the standards a' drunken style martial arts.

Makiko: [still angry, but curious] What about him?

Lardizabal: Eh? Oh, thas'...

[A rather comely young woman woman in a chinese gown walks up to Lardizabal's
chair, giggles coquettishly, and blows Lardizabal a kiss. She waits a moment,
then winks at Ukyou and walks away.]

Ukyou: [sweatdrop] ...

Makiko: [visibly steamed] And what exactly was *that*, Tanaka-kun?

Lardizabal: Eh? Wing Chun was challangin' me. Why?

Makiko: Challenging you? Nani?

Lardizabal: Oh, that was Angel Ho, s' another form. [blinks] Wait...hey!
She's my cousin!

Makiko: Oh...well...I've never seen you do that before, Tanaka-kun.
[giggles] I can imagine it, though.

Lardizabal: [muttering] I don't do that style.

Ukyou: You don't? [watches Wing Chun send two Tanaka guests to the floor
in rapid succession as Megami snaps photographs of the action] Why
not? It looks pretty effective. [cuts off abruptly as she notices
Wing Chun looking in her direction]

Lardizabal: [loudly] I'm not gonna be actin' like a girl in a fight!
It's...it's...it's...

Ukyou: [distracted] It's...what?

Lardizabal: It's girlish!

Makiko: So? What's wrong with that? Your cousin over there seems to be
doing just fine, looking like a girl. What're you trying to say?

Lardizabal: Y'know! I mean, a guy who acts like tha' inna fight
is...well...a big sissy!

Ukyou: Oh...I see...

Makiko: What, Ucc... Kosuke-chan?

Ukyou: [smiles] I don't think Tanaka-kun has mastered Angel Ho yet.

Lardizabal: WHAT? I have so! S' one a' the basics!

Makiko: Oh, well, that's different. If you don't know how, Tanaka-kun...

Lardizabal: [stands up] Fine! [turns, ambles towards Wing Chun] Hey, Wing Chun!
C'mere a sec!

[Scene fades in a flash of light. Cut to Lardizabal on the floor, his head
in Makiko's lap as she applies a cold compress to his forehead. Both Makiko
and Ukyou have disbelieving looks on their faces.]

Lardizabal: [grumbling] I'm jus' a little outta *hic* practice on that one.
Thas' all. [Makiko and Ukyou roll their eyes in unison]

[Wing Chun walks over to where everyone is sitting.]

Wing Chun: [smiles shyly] If you aren't busy later, I could show you that
technique.

Lardizabal: [grumbles] No thanks...

Wing Chun: [interrupting] I wasn't talking to you, Lard-chan. [looks at
Ukyou] What do you think?

Lardizabal: ...

Ukyou: [sweatdrop] Uh... well... you see...

Wing Chun: [smiles] That's ok, we have all night. I'll be back. [walks off]

Makiko: ...

Lardizabal: [slyly] Sounds like someone else is out of practice too.

Ukyou: [elbows Lardizabal in the face] I'm sorry, I didn't quite hear that.
What'd you say?

Lardizabal: [quietly] mmpgh.

Ukyou: Didn't think so.

[Ukyou casts a worried glance in the direction that Wing Chun has gone while
Makiko places another cold compress on Lardizabal's face.]

* * *

[The reception continues. Lardizabal, holding an icepack to his head with
one hand and a drink in the other, chats with Makiko and Ukyou at one end
of a large table complete with punch bowl, soft drinks, and snacks. Megami,
at the other end, converses with Goro and snaps photographs periodically.
Megami and Goro are both smiling, though Goro's smile is perhaps a bit
nervous.]

Makiko: [giggling] ... and so, you see, tha's why I like the rail gun better
than the BFG. [frowns and looks at her glass] Hey, can I have s'more?

Lardizabal: [blinks] Uh... sure. Help yourself. [passes bottle to her]

Ukyou: How many is that, now, Makiko?

Makiko: [turns and leans on Ukyou's arm] I think this is number three...
or four. I don't remember. [goes off in a fit of giggling]

Ukyou: [sweatdrop] Well, don't you think you should stop for a while? I mean,
we're going to be here a while. [glances at Lardizabal]

Makiko: Naaaaaah. I'm having fun! Besides, Uk- *hic* er.. Kosuke, you promised
to watch out for me tonight.

[Lardizabal raises an eyebrow.]

Ukyou: Uhh... well... I know, but...

[Just then, Wing Chun walks up to the table.]

Wing Chun: Tanaka-chan.

[Lardizabal glances at Wing Chun with some disdain. After an uncomfortable
pause, Wing Chun finally sits down next to him.]

Wing Chun: Gomen... about earlier, I mean.

Lardizabal: [warily] 'sok.

Wing Chun: [looking around the table, stopping at Ukyou] Aren't you going to
introduce me to your friends?

Makiko: [giggling] C'mon, Tanaka-kun, introduce me!

Lardizabal: [slyly, as he notices the object of Wing Chun's gaze] Oh? Ok,
Wing Chun, this is Kawamura Makiko [gestures to Makiko], a ...
friend from Mizunoikan. [points to Megami] That is Megami, a...
um, classmate of Makiko's. You already know Goro. [grins] And,
this [with a wide gesture] is Kuonji Kosuke, younger brother of
Makiko's roommate.

Wing Chun: [pointedly] _How_ young?

Makiko: [automatically] Twenty.

Ukyou: [cuts in] Maki-chan!

Wing Chun: [smiles] Well, that's all right by me. You're not that young then.

Makiko: [giggling] How old are you, Wing Chun?

Wing Chun: [looking at Ukyou] Old enough. [winks]

Ukyou: ...

Lardizabal: [coughs politely] Well, I see that Uncle Wong is trying to get
your attention, Wing Chun. You'd better see what he wants.

Wing Chun: [frowns] Hai. [to Makiko] It was nice meeting you. Especially
you... [stares longingly at Ukyou]

Ukyou: ...

[Wing Chun gets up and departs. Ukyou looks ill.]

Lardizabal: Don't worry about her, Kosuke. She's kinda ... free-spirited.

Ukyou: ... Yeah. Sure.

Lardizabal: Another round, Maki-chan?

Makiko: [nods] Un!

[Lardizabal pours her another drink, and Makiko downs half of it almost
immediately.]

Lardizabal: ...

Makiko: [giggles] When are you going to break out the good stuff?

Lardizabal: ...

Megami: [laughs loudly] Wai! Goro-san, you're so funny.

[Both Makiko and Ukyou immediately snap their heads towards Megami and Goro.]

Lardizabal: Maki-chan? [pauses] Makiko?

[Makiko, however, is intent on eavesdropping on Megami's and Goro's
conversation and does not hear Lardizabal. Lardizabal, after blinking and
coughing, trying to get Makiko's attention again, gives up and settles into
some serious drinking.]

Goro: [scratching the back of his head with one hand] No, really...I think
you look very nice in that dress, and I'm sorry Hiro-san almost ruined
it. He's just beginning to learn, you know, so he doesn't hold his
liquor that well.

Megami: [giggling] You spun him around and around and around like a top!
[She demonstrates, soon working herself up into a dizzy spell, almost
falling over before Goro catches her.]

Goro: [blushing] E...eh heh...

Megami: [innocently] Thank you Goro-san! [giggles]

[Ukyou and Makiko frown... then look at each other. They nod, silently, and
then Makiko walks over to Megami and Goro.]

Makiko: Goro-san, do you mind if I borrow Megami-chan for a moment? I have to
freshen up.

Goro: [shaking his head] Of course not, Makiko-san. [turns to Megami] I
hope I can see you after the wedding, Megami-san...

Megami: [nodding enthusiastically] See you later Goro-san!

[Makiko and Megami leave. Lardy looks on after them, abandoned, then turns
back to Goro and pours himself a drink, which he downs. He drops his icepack
on the table and crosses his arms in disgust.]

Lardizabal: Che...women. [looks at Ukyou] Guess it's just us guys.

Ukyou: [coughs] Er... actually, I'm going to head to the... uh... restroom
myself.

Lardizabal: [warily] Suit yerself.

[Ukyou gets up and departs, leaving Lardizabal and Goro to battle for the
last of the alcohol in the bottle. Lardizabal watches Ukyou leave out of the
corner of his eye.]

* * *

[Ukyou, Makiko, and Megami enter one of the many bedrooms. Ukyou and Makiko
exchange looks.]

Ukyou and Makiko: [in stereo] Megami-chan...[they look at each other] You go
first. [both sweatdrop]

Ukyou: Megami-chan, we just want to talk to you about...

Makiko: ...men.

Ukyou: Well, because men are...

Makiko: ...different.

Megami: [head going back and forth between Ukyou and Makiko] ...

Ukyou: [crosses her arms] Megami-chan, this is important. Boys and girls are
different, and...well, that's part of the reasons that boys and girls
have boyfriends and girlfriends.

Megami: [nodding] Hai! I want a boyfriend too, like Tanaka-kun. [looks at
Makiko]

Makiko: [darkening] Megami-chan, you're too young to have a serious boyfriend.
There are friends that you go to weddings to, like Tanaka-kun, and
there are _boy_friends.

Ukyou: Uso! [coughs]

Makiko: [darkening deeply] ...Ucchan will tell you. [turns around and exhales]

Ukyou: [blinks, then resumes composure] There are some things that boys and
girls do that they only do with boyfriends and girlfriends.

Megami: [beams broadly] Oh yeah! Ranma told me!

Ukyou: [sweatdrop] HE WHAT?

Makiko: Uh... Ucchan, now wait a sec...

Ukyou: [angrily] Wait 'til I get my hands on him! Akane and I can take
turns...

Makiko: [interrupting] Ucchan! [Ukyou stops and looks at Makiko] Just wait a
sec, will you? [to Megami, gently] What did he tell you, Megami-chan?

Megami: [matter-of-factly] That there are some things that boys and girls do
that they only do with their boyfriends and girlfriends. Like kissing.

[Ukyou breathes a visible sigh of relief.]

Makiko: Like on television?

Megami: Sorta... [looking confused] But I see mommies and daddies kiss their
children, so I don't quite understand...

Ukyou: It's...a different sort of kissing. [pauses] Hold on. Pretend I'm
Makiko's boyfriend.

Makiko: [blinking] What?

Ukyou: For pretend.

[Ukyou walks over to Makiko and takes her in her arms, dipping her over
slightly into a compromising position and looks over to Megami.]

Ukyou: Now, if I kissed Maki-chan like this...

[The door opens suddenly, and Lardizabal staggers in.]

Lardizabal: Geez, where are you guys? I wanted ta introduce you to-

[Lardizabal sees Makiko and 'Kosuke,' but not Megami, who is behind the door.
He pauses a moment to take in the entire scene.]

Lardizabal: ...oh. [quietly] Gomen.

[He shuts the door.]

Ukyou: ...

Makiko: [visibly upset] Tanaka-kun...

* * *

[Makiko runs into the wedding hall, followed shortly by Ukyou and Megami.
The wedding is about to begin. Makiko searches the room, finding Lardy
sitting next to Goro, fuming silently. She takes the closest seat she can
find to him, which is a few rows ahead. Again, Ukyou and Megami follow her
and sit.]

Makiko: [turning around, whispering] Tanaka-kun...

[The music starts, and Makiko turns back around, looking miserable.]

Ukyou: [whispering] It'll be fine, Maki-chan...just tell him who I am, ok?
[takes Makiko's hand comfortingly]

Lardizabal: [noticing and frowning] Che...

Goro: [elbows Lardizabal] Shh...they're starting.

[The camera pans out from Lardizabal's frowning face to soon include Makiko
and Ukyou, fading out as the priest begins with, "We are gathered here
today...". The scene fades out, then back into view as the priest concludes,
"...and I now pronounce you husband and wife". Lardizabal looks bored, Makiko
has tears in her eyes, Ukyou simply looks attentive, and Megami looks
delighted, at both the wedding and a handful of photographs that she's
holding. The crowd begins to break up.]

Makiko: [turns around to Lardizabal] Tanaka-kun, gomen...

[Megami turns around as well, curious]

Lardizabal: [frowns again and gets up to leave, shrugging] Whatever. [exits]

Megami: [blinks, turns and waves to Goro, smiling sunnily] Hiiiiiii!

Goro: [turns about and waves, smiling] Hello, Megami-san.

[He turns back to his coversation with an attractive young woman a row behind
him.]

Megami: ...

Ukyou: [putting a hand each on Makiko's and Megami's shoulders] Come
on...let's go talk to Tanaka-kun, Maki-chan.

Makiko: [shaking her head] Please, Ucchan...could you go talk to him first?
Weddings make me all teary, and if I went to go talk to him now...

Ukyou: [nods] Sure. I'll be back in a bit.

[Megami nods, distracted. Makiko watches Ukyou go, then turns back to Megami.]

Makiko: Ok, what's wrong?

Megami: [pouting] I thought Goro-san wanted to see me after the wedding!

Makiko: [sighs] Megami-chan...trying to find a boyfriend isn't as easy as
that. It's usually confusing, and sometimes...it hurts. [pauses]
You're a nice, very pretty young woman, Megami-chan...you'll find a
boyfriend. Just don't be in too much of a hurry.

Megami: I don't want to wait. Goro-san is handsome, and he's funny.

Makiko: [shaking her head] It's not as simple as that, Megami-chan. It's nice
to have a boyfriend who's handsome, and funny...and brave, and strong,
and maybe a little silly. But...you have to be feeling something else
too.

Megami: I don't understand. What else do I have to feel?

Makiko: [leans back] I guess you know it when you feel it.

* * *

[Ukyou knocks on a door. There is no response.]

Ukyou: Tanaka-kun?

[Still no response. She tries the door and opens it. Inside, Lardy is
lying on the bed and staring at the ceiling, drinking from his gourd.]

Lardizabal: [turning to Ukyou] Oh. It's you. [goes back to staring at the
ceiling]

Ukyou: Yes, it's me.

Lardizabal: [sarcastically] What do you want? Another girl to go after?
Weren't Wing Chun and Makiko enough for you?

Ukyou: Look, Lardy, it's not what you think. In the bedroom there...

Lardizabal: [shouting] Don't you "Lardy" me! What are you, some kind of
Casanova?

Ukyou: [sighs] No, I'm Ukyou. [lets hair down] See?

Lardizabal: Yeah, whatev- [falls off the edge of the bed] WHAT?

Ukyou: Look, it's me. [pauses] Makiko was trying to play a little joke on you.

Lardizabal: [standing up] Joke? You two were...in the...two girls...k...
kissin'!

Ukyou: We were trying to show Megami-chan what boyfriends and girlfriends were
like, Tanaka-kun.

Lardizabal: [crossing his arms] You don' think that's a lil' extreme?

Ukyou: [whaps Lardizabal] We weren't kissing for real, you jackass! Now stop
acting like a dumped boyfriend and go out there.

Lardizabal: [rubbing his head] I am not her boyfriend, and I'm not actin'
like...like that.

Ukyou: Y'could've fooled me.

Lardizabal: [looking up at the ceiling] It's a funny thing, y'know? Just
when I thought I could, y'know, be more interested in someone
else...

[Lardizabal turns to look at a skeptical Ukyou.]

Lardizabal: [grins at Ukyou] Y'know, it took me a while to accept that the
girl I liked was married to someone else. Took me by surprise.
Kinda tough, eh? That Akane was... y'know, gone.

Ukyou: Tanaka-kun... I'm sorry.

Lardizabal: [shrugging] Don't be. It was a pretty good joke, I guess...
maybe just carried it a bit too far?

Ukyou: [nodding] Not just for that, Tanaka-kun. I guess I haven't given you
a lot of credit...the way you and Maki-chan get along. That's not fair,
is it?

Lardizabal: [shakes his head] No... not really. Besides, I can always come
back home to this weird family.

Ukyou: [smirks] You think YOU'VE got a weird family?

Lardizabal: Weirder than Uncle Wong?

Ukyou: Hm... okay, maybe not that bad. Compared to Uncle Wong, the rest
of my family's normal. [chuckles to herself]

Lardizabal: [sardonically] Thanks, Kuonji-san. Thanks a lot.

Ukyou: [pauses, and then points to the door] Now that I'm a girl again,
Tanaka-kun, Maki-chan is left without a date, so I'm ordering you to
go out there and have a good time with her or else.

Lardizabal: [smirking] Or else what?

Ukyou: [pauses] Or else you're going to quite possibly lose the best friend
you never knew you had. [shrugs]

Lardizabal: ...

* * *

[Back at the reception. Ukyou is standing around, back in her boy guise.]

Wing Chun: [from behind Ukyou] Care to dance?

Ukyou: Eep! [twirls around]

Wing Chun: [grabs Ukyou's hand] Good! I like this song! [begins to drag Ukyou
to dance floor]

Ukyou: [exasperated] Oi! Wait a sec! I didn't say yes!

Wing Chun: ...

Ukyou: [sighs] Look, you're ... um... cute and all, but I'm, uh...

[Just then, Makiko walks up, Megami in tow.]

Makiko: Hey U-.. Kosuke-chan. Listen, I need... [looks at Wing Chun]

[Wing Chun looks at Makiko, then at Ukyou.]

Wing Chun: [solemnly] I see. [bows] Forgive me for my actions. I did not know
you were already with someone.

Makiko: ...

Ukyou: Er.. 'sok. [grins] Maybe next time.

Wing Chun: Perhaps. [smiles coyly] We shall see.

[Wing Chun departs, leaving the three girls standing by themselves. A look of
puzzlement briefly crosses Makiko's face as she watches Wing Chun go and just
as quickly disappears when she turns back to Ukyou.]

Makiko: Um... where's Tanaka-kun?

Ukyou: [shrugs] I have no idea. [muttering] And he's a gutless wimp if he
doesn't come out tonight.

Lardizabal: [coming up from behind Ukyou] Oh? Were you saying something,
Kuonji-san? [arched eyebrow]

Ukyou: Eep!

Lardizabal: [looks at Makiko] May I borrow Ukyou for a moment?

[Makiko nods wordlessly, surprised.]

Lardizabal: Thanks.

[Ukyou eeps as Lardizabal sweeps her onto the floor.]

Ukyou: But... but they think I'm a guy!

Lardizabal: Ah, they won't notice. Weirder things have happened. Anyway...
thanks.

Ukyou: [settling down] No problem, but shouldn't you be... um, talkin'
to Makiko?

Lardizabal: Yeah. I will. Just wanted to... uh... thank you first.

Ukyou: [giggles] Okay...

Lardizabal: Good.

[And with a flourish, Lardizabal leads Ukyou up next to Makiko.]

Lardizabal: [releasing Ukyou] Now then, your turn!

Makiko: Eh? B-but...

Lardizabal: C'mon, let's dance. One step at a time!

[And with that, Lardizabal is sweeping off a startled Makiko onto the dance
floor, leaving Ukyou with Megami. Ukyou smiles and rumples Megami's hair.]

Ukyou: How're you doing?

[Megami pouts slightly. Ukyou cocks her head, and frowns a bit, as she puts
her arm around Megami.]

Ukyou: Yeah, I know the feeling, Megami-chan.

===============================================================================
finis.
===============================================================================

Loneliness - a state of mind
Feels like you're a step behind
When you're down and need a friend
I promise you, I promise you
I'll be there to the end

When you've gone and lost your way
This's what I've got to say
Love can hold your head up high
I promise you, I promise you
I won't say goodbye

Down from the low, into the high
Might as well enjoy the ride

I promise you I won't know what to say
And I promise you I'll say it anyway
I promise that we'll leave it all behind
I promise that we'll have enough time
In a moment, come tonight
I promise you it'll be all right

===============================================================================

Credits :

Writers..............: David Tai
Terry Johnson
Paul Gallegos
Jeffrey Paul Hosmer
John Walter Biles

Story Artists........: Jong Man Hwang

DnR Companion........: Mike "Nelson" Gulick

Special Thanks to....:

The Tucson Animation Screening Society (TASS)

And of course Rumiko Takahashi

+-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+
| Copyright (c) 1998 Digital Knight Communications |
+-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+
| "Ranma 1/2" and its characters Copyright (c) 1998 |
| Viz Communications, Inc., Shogakukan, Kitty Animation |
| and Rumiko Takahashi |
+-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+

===============================================================================