[Ranma/Xover][FanFic] Omake Theatre: Kittens Omake II
metro...@mindspring.com
amusement.
omakeomakeomakeomake
once again with an attempt to radically depart from the standard "Meet The
Tendos" opening. Reworking of an earlier attempt.
TAKE TWO: KITTENS OMAKE
Soun nodded to himself as his three daughters dutifully gathered. He
schooled himself to try and restrain himself from getting too emotional at
this moment. When they were finally settled down, he merely produced the
postcard. "Ranma is coming."
*snatch!*
Akane stared at the card now in Nabiki's hands. "He's coming?!" *bounce
bounce bounce*
"Oh, thank goodness," Kasumi said, wiping away tears. "I'm not getting any
younger, you know."
"Finally! Thank the kami!" Nabiki made a note to visit a temple and light
some incense. Ever practical, Nabiki shot a glance at her father. "You'll
deal with that father of his?"
Soun nodded, a gleam entering his eyes. Bonds of friendship forged through
mutual suffering was one thing, but to harm HIS little girls... Soun Tendo
might be a blubbering weenie but he was a blubbering weenie who had his
limits.
Kidnapping his little girls so they could be thrown into a pit with some
other girls and starved so that Genma could try and teach his son some lame
martial arts manuever had not sat well with Soun Tendo. Nope.
Nabiki was mumbling with an eerie light in her eyes. "...and I will pet him
and pat him and love him and squeeze him and rub his tummy and..."
Kasumi was listening to Nabiki and nodding. Sounded like a game plan. Akane
merely continued to bounce around like Tigger.
A commotion out front served to penetrate Soun's reverie.
"That must be them!" Akane squealed, rushing for the door.
*THWAM* *THWAM* *TRAMPLE* *TRAMPLE*
A panda groaned from the ground where it had been knocked down, then run
over. A redhaired girl moaned likewise from the same treatment.
"Where is he?" Kasumi asked, feeling *very* disappointed. "Oh... poor
Ranma... I'm sure he hasn't been eating well. I..." *sniff* *sniff*
Akane stopped prowling the compound as well and began sniffing. "That
scent!"
Nabiki, with the sharpest senses, dropped next to the girl and began
sniffing her. "Smells like Ranma - but the hormones are different."
"oooooo." The redhead propped herself up and tried to focus on the fuzzy
shape sniffing at her. "Nabiki?! I..."
Nabiki was joined by her two sisters who continued to sniff. After the girl
passed out again, a decision was reached.
-----------
Ranma awoke and shot to the ceiling in a single motion.
Nabiki looked up at where Ranma was clinging to the ceiling. "Nyaa. I told
you not to groom him *there*, Akane."
Akane merely smiled and licked her lips.
Kasumi merely crouched down and prepared to spring.
"Hey, waitaminute, I..." Ranma managed before three catgirls pounced on him
and commenced cuddling.
Soun watched for a few moments, wiping tears from his eyes. "That's the way!
Don't take no for an answer. Ah, you do your father proud!"
"What are they doing, Tendo?" Genma mumbled from where his head had been
imbedded in the ceiling.
"Well, Saotome, you know how the Master cast that spell on my wife - turning
her into a semihuman animal? And how my daughters are fortunately more human
than Kimiko ended up, but are still catgirls?"
More mumbling from Genma that sounded like an agreement. After all, it had
been that cute lil' catgirl Ukyo who had thrown the martial arts training
manual in that canal. With the ink wet and pages stuck together, Genma had
needed to rely on educated guesses as to the contents.
"Well, legally, they can't marry Ranma," said Soun in a sad voice. "Not in
Japan, anyway. Yet. However, he *can* adopt them as his pets and if children
develop it will prove that they *are* human. Tails and ears and fur and
claws not withstanding."
"mmmmmf!" Genma protested.
"By the way, Saotome, I just made a few calls." Soun smiled at how well his
daughters were getting along with Ranma. There may be new kits on the way
before long, at least if Akane had *her* say in the matter. Such a perverted
little kitty she was.
"Calls?" Genma said, still trying to get his head out of the ceiling.
"Yes. When you rounded up all those daughters of victims of Happosai's
'sexpet curse' experiments to use that pit of catgirls, you certainly made
an impression on them and their families. Did it work, by the way?"
"Uhmm. No. Not really," said Genma from his position. "Instead of being
starved for three days and then attacking my son to get the fish sausages
tied to his body, they instead apparently took the sausages off and cuddled
with him to get warm and due to some odd affectionate instinct. I tried
everything, Tendo. Fish paste, salmon cakes, catnip. I starved them for
almost a week once. They didn't attack him. They *bonded* with him. It got
so that he was begging to be thrown into the pit just so he 'could feed the
kitties'. Shameful. What a worthless son!"
"And then, when they tried to escape *with* Ranma, you beat them down," said
Soun, eyeing his friend as if the overweight man was a pinata and the
shinnai in his hands would be used to break it open.
"I *had* to, Tendo! It was for the sake of The Art!" Genma paused in his
efforts to work himself free. "Errr. Waitaminute. What phone calls?"
"Oh, that cute lil kitten Ukyo works nearby," said Soun casually. "Then
there's those girls from Juuban. Though I don't expect those girls from that
village of warrior catgirls (Nekojoketsuzoku?) to arrive here for quite some
time yet."
*DING DONG!*
Genma froze as the front doorbell rang. Then, on hearing an angry feminine
voice, finally managed to rip his head free of the ceiling. He had to reach
up to pull his glasses out, and the sight that was then revealed was *not*
very comforting.
There was the lionlike Katsumi, err, Kasumi. Pleasant little smile on her
face while she looked on. There was the housecatlike Nabiki, eyes narrowed
and gleaming. There was the tiger-striped Akane, teeth gleaming and claws
extended.
There was also a number of other girls: some catgirls, a foxgirl, a pair of
bunnygirls, a mousegirl, and a few other types. All looking very very
peeved.
Soun sighed and cleared out of the way. "Comfort yourself with this,
Saotome. My daughters and your son will likely get along very well. And what
they do to you is only practice for when and if the Master ever returns.
Girls? Try to clean up after you're done."
"Tendo?" Genma blinked as his old buddy Soun walked off without a backwards
glance. He couldn't actually be...
Somehow Genma *knew* that the Crouch of the Wild Tiger wasn't going to get
him out of this.
------click------
Kuno stood before the gates of the school. Here were the two abominations,
joined by their sister this time! Clearly this could not be tolerated.
"Hold, thou mockeries of humanity! The noble Tatewaki Kuno defends this
institution from thy influence! The Blue Thunder of Furinkan High shall not
tolerate thy presence in the hallowed halls of learning. Animals such as
yourselves need only learn obediance to thy master, and the great Blue
Thunder doth think that only he can put thee in thy proper place."
"Geez, is this guy fond of hearing himself talk or what?" Ranma frowned as
he noticed how the girls had cringed at this guy's posturing. What had this
moron done to them?
"You there!" Kuno pointed his bokken at the boy standing with the catgirls.
"How dare you address these subhumans so familiarly. Only by being properly
owned by myself can their fate be salvaged!"
"Huh? Oh, I'm Ranma Saotome. Anything Goes School of Martial Arts. And
well..."
Akane saw the chance for mischief and to distance herself from Kuno. Just
because she *was* a fierce tigress didn't mean she wanted to have Kuno keep
up with this stuff. "He's staying with us. And he's my little Ranma-chan!"
*GLOMP!* *SNUGGLE!* *PURRRRRRRRR!*
"Hey! Waitaminute!" Ranma protested but it was too late. "I never agreed
to..."
*GLOMP!* *GLOMP!*
Steam practically shot out of Kuno's ears as he saw the three catgirls
hugging themselves to this interloper. "You... you... FIEND! I SHALL SMITE
THEE!"
Three cats looked up as one, letting go of Ranma.
*SLICE!* *BITE!* *SLASH!*
Kuno was still staring at the nub of his bokken, his clothes falling
shredded around him, while Kasumi delicately cleaned the blood from her
mouth where she'd bitten his arm. "ouch..."
Akane grabbed the front of Kuno's hakama and dragged his head down to eye
level with her. Her ears were back, her teeth were bared, her eyes narrowed,
and her claws were fully extended. She didn't look happy, in other words.
"Kuno. How *dare* you threaten my Ranma!"
"...but I wanted to be the one to defeat him in a casual yet aggravating
manner," sulked Ranma.
Akane glared deeply into Kuno's eyes. "You threaten my Ranma again and
you'll regret it."
"...*our* Ranma," corrected Nabiki. She was the neko ninja, after all. Akane
would likely hurt Kuno, whereas Nabiki could be very clever in her means of
vengeance.
Kuno broke out of the hold, leaving Akane clutching a torn piece of cloth in
her hand. "I shall not tolerate this! I..."
"Hurrrrr?! Someone's threatening *my* Ranchan?" Cute little kitten Ukyo's
eyes were slits as she stalked forward, having just arrived, transfer papers
getting tucked into her bookbag.
"Morons is for killing," suggested Shampoo, stalking forward with Ukyo.
"Morons is for killing?" Ukyo said speculatively.
"It has a ring to it," agreed Akane.
"Morons is for killing," mused Nabiki, picturing t-shirts with the logo.
Hmmm.
Kuno pulled a spare bokken out of nowhere. "Know that you face the
undefeated Blue Thunder. I shall prove my prowess and free thee of this
unwanted ownership. Then we may..."
Battle auras flared. Claws were extended. Tatewaki Kuno got hurt.
Ranma sulked some more. "...but *I* wanted to fight..."
Meanwhile, Akane (acting on ancient instincts) was currently digging a nice
big hole to drag the school's unconscious star kendoist in.
It was instinct, of course. Not planned at all. Nope. Akane was a nice kitty
after all. The others joining in was also likely just instinct.
Right?
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