[Ranma/Xover][FanFic] Bet-Reluctant Bet segment 2
Gregg Sharp
The air cracked open in a swirling vortex and three people
stepped out.
"JAPAN! AT LAST!" A girl with long brown hair started
kissing the ground.
"Is Japan, but is right Japan?" The Chinese girl frowned,
not wanting to get her hopes up. "Not forget strange worlds
we end up in."
"Well, if Ukyo had just believed me to begin with instead
of needing a damn demonstration!" Grey grumbled at the
implication.
"Stupid Genma," this was punctuated by the sound of Shampoo
kicking a discarded Pocari Sweat can. "Is all stupid panda's
fault!"
"YEAH!" Ukyo growled, back on a familiar subject.
"Well, if he's got any sense at all, he won't mess with any
of us." Grey thought it likely that Genma would show up
before the timeline got fixed. When it did though, all he
had to do was keep things from getting too badly out of
alignment and Ranma would be retroed back and none of this
would have happened. So why not have some fun while he was
at it?
"That right, Ranma. You tell stupid panda-man."
"You said it, Ranma honey. Though it's *my* turn to beat on
Genma."
"Let's go get him. You say stupid panda in Nerima, yes?"
"No, we're not going to visit the Tendos."
"But Ranma, it is a matter of honor." Ukyo argued. "It
isn't fair to leave them hanging. We ought to go visit and
explain the situation. They might be reasonable."
"Shampoo agree. Want to see place for self."
"I disagree. I don't think they'll be reasonable. And *i am
NOT Ranma!*"
"Whatever you say, Ranchan."
"Shampoo think Ranma need therapy. Come back to Village and
get!"
"Well, at least Ryoga's happy," Grey said, turning his eyes
heavenward. "And with Rin Rin and Ran Ran married to him,
they won't be appearing again. So that's three people
happy."
"Shampoo think Ryoga not be happy no matter what do, but
glad to see those two get married to strong fighter."
Shampoo had seen the boy stumble into the village and
accidently knock her two cousins out. Ah, young love!
"Shampoo hope that Ryoga get over himself. It not so bad he
have two wives who very enthusiastic."
"So, what *do* we do?" Ukyo wasn't sure but it sounded to
her as if this guy would turn into the real Ranma. That
meant sticking next to the big fella. There hadn't been time
to sort out his story. Yet.
"Back to Village?"
"How about down to Kansai?"
"Well, this isn't a crossover universe, so I can't go to
Juuban and hook up with the Senshi or Okayama and the Masaki
Shrine. Nekomi Tech is out as well. Gateway is out. i don't
want to screw over this timeline *too* much, so that means
staying in Japan. Kobe i'm familiar with but it's got some
unpleasant memories. Shampoo's gonna have trouble with a lot
of the less cosmopolitan areas due to the Japanese racism
being particularly focussed against Chinese. Unless..."
"Airen have idea?"
"We could disguise you as an American. A lot of Japanese
have anti-American sentiments, particularly depending on
whatever the TV's 'talking heads' are spewing that day, but
they still give Americans a lot more latitude than Chinese."
Setting his ever-present pack down, Grey started rummaging
around within it. "And i ain't your Airen. That's Ranma."
"Whatcha looking for, Ranchan?"
"Synaptic teacher. Got it for a mission i was involved in
back when my skin wasn't artifical covering over a
cybernetic framework. Here it is. And i'm NOT Ranchan." Grey
drew out a small flat case, which he opened and withdrew a
metal bandaid and a "pennyroll" of flat discs. He stuck one
of the discs onto the bandaid. "Here ya go, Shampoo."
Shampoo looked at the offered device curiously but made no
move to touch it. "What do?"
"Basic datapak that came with the gadget. American style
English, customs, and basics of four other languages.
Unfortunately those languages are: French, Spanish, Russian,
and Norse. None of which are gonna be of use here."
Shampoo looked a bit distrustfully at the device.
"Oh for crying out loud," Ukyo said and picked it up, eager
to show off how brave she was in front of Shampoo. They'd
quickly settled into a sort of rivalry. It hadn't exploded
yet, as the *real* Ranma was still off someplace. "How do
you use it?"
"Just set it flush against your forehead, AFTER you sit
down." Grey made a motion towards one of the benches near
the fountain.
Ukyo sat down, gave a smug look to Shampoo, and put the
device against her forehead. Then blinked and seemed to go
to sleep.
"Is Spatula girl OK?" Shampoo reached out to poke the other
girl.
"Yeah, it'll take about five minutes to run the program
though. And her name is Ukyo. Stop being needlessly
insulting, Shampoo, it'll make things easier all around."
"If say so." Shampoo kept her doubts to herself. She took
a seat next to Ukyo and fidgeted for about minute. "Can
Shampoo ride horse while wait?"
The cyborg sighed and reached into his vest. "Yeah, i
suppose he needs the exercise anyway. And there ain't anyone
around to watch. Here!"
Shampoo accepted the white and red sphere with a child's
glee. "Ponyta, Shampoo choose you!"
A white horse with a mane of flame appeared from the sphere
in a flash of energy. It neighed and nuzzled the Amazon who
hugged the horselike creature back. "Shampoo so happy see
Ponyta again!"
The cyborg shook his head at the Amazon riding the horse
around the fountain and along the park's pathways. Squeals
of glee coming from the girl as her mount leapt over
benches, fountain, and just about anything else the creature
could handle. From some of the startled sounds, the park
wasn't as empty as he'd thought.
Ukyo made a noise deep in her throat and came to about the
time that Shampoo made a third circuit of the park. "Damn.
That was something. What's going on?"
"While you were out, Shampoo wanted to play with Ponyta."
Grey watched as the two took off at a gallop. "Y'know, i may
just have to give her that pokeball. The two of them get
along entirely too well."
"Y'got that right, sugar." Ukyo looked up to see an
unfamiliar looking plane pass overhead. "Uhm, I don't think
this is the right Japan after all."
"Yeah, tech level's too high. Got to be at least 24th
century standards." Grey nodded. "Plus, that statue in the
fountain is of the Chinese Armada conquering Japan."
Ukyo blinked and wanted (as she had in the past three
worlds) to study the local okonomiyaki restaurants to
compare techniques. "Um, I hate to say I told you so."
"Actually, you *love* to tell me you told me so."
Sirens began to approach the park. "Shampoo! We've got to
get going now." He continued in a quieter voice. "Y'know if
you'd just accepted my flying or weapons system or secret
compartment as evidence that i was telling the truth, i'd
have never used the D-hopper."
"Hey, with a story like that, I needed some proof, sugar."
Ukyo silently appended that she hadn't needed *quite* this
much proof.
"You really think I ought to go to the Tendo dojo?"
"Yeah." Ukyo watched as Shampoo came charging up on the
flame horse. "Let's go check out the mall, at least, I could
use some food."
Grey agreed and motioned Shampoo to return Ponyta to his
pokeball. Even if he couldn't eat regular food, the
nutritional needs of his biological parts requiring only
infrequent intake - and that of a particularly nasty tasting
nutritional paste, he could still shop.
The three went down the street, looking over their
surroundings for any number of supplies, when Shampoo
exclaimed over a place called "Seraglio Spa - offering the
finest beauty treatments in Japan."
"Hmmm. Maybe food can wait," said Ukyo speculatively.
"Lemmee see your Universal Card."
"Hey! It's my Card, it won't work for you." Grey held a
hand to his pocket defensively. The Universal Card was one
of the most important gadgets of the Rival Relief Office, as
the average worker of the RRO couldn't conjure things out of
the air the way other agencies could. The Universal Card was
something along the line of a phonecard. One had a certain
amount of money assigned to a Card and one could put money
aside to it, increasing the pool to draw on. Then one could
spend it, the Card converting funds to whatever was used in
the timeline/world one found oneself in. It was
mindbogglingly useful, therefore something that everyone in
the RRO figured would be taken away from them the moment
people outside the agency learned about it.
"Well, then come in," Ukyo and Shampoo dragged the cyborg
in.
"Shampoo has not had bath since we on Pokemon world, and
stupid Butch and Cassidy interrupt THAT."
A woman in what looked alarmingly like a French Maid outfit
looked up at the three entering. "Can I... help you?"
"Yeah," Ukyo glanced over the price list. What the heck,
the stupid cyborg owed them for getting them lost in the
timelines anyway. "Two for 'The Works' - go ahead and pay
the girl."
"Uhm, about how long will this take?" asked Grey, nervously
handing over the Card.
The clerk ran it through a slot and her eyes perceptibly
widened. "About six hours..." She looked over Ukyo and
Shampoo critically. "Make it a full day."
"WHOLE DAY?!" Shampoo was calmed by Ukyo putting her hand
on the Amazon's shoulder.
"Relax, girl. This's obviously one of those places that
really pamper you. Bathing, massage, washing your hair,
manicure, pedicure," Ukyo smiled wistfully. "I've always
heard about 'em but never had a chance to check 'em out
before. Couldn't go there when I was disguised as a guy."
The clerk winced at the last comment. "All that and more.
Very well, if you two will step this way."
Grey watched Ukyo and Shampoo vanish into the interior,
wincing at how much this was probably costing him. The
symbol next to the phrase "The Works" was neither a yen nor
a dollar symbol. Instead it was a "V" with a diagonal line.
Another strange monetary system. 850 whatever they were was
probably going to impact his account significantly.
"Here's your claim chit, sir," the clerk said, handing a
pair of plastic tabs to Grey. "Can I have your name for our
records?"
"My name's Grey, though the two often refer to me as
Ranma." Grey sighed. It *had* been awhile, and he guessed he
couldn't fault them for wanting to get a rest break. "A day,
huh? Well, I guess I'll check out a few things." Besides,
maybe he could figure out how to get the D-hopper
coordinates right.
"I just need a few further details. Role packages of the
two?"
"Pardon me?" Grey blinked a few times in conclusion.
The clerk raised an eyebrow. "Their occupations? Besides
the obvious?"
Grey didn't like what the clerk was implying but let it go.
"They're both cooks and warriors. Ukyo is obsessed on
okonomiyaki. Shampoo knows a lot about Chinese food, i
think."
"Very good, sir." The clerk punched a few buttons on
something like a fastfood cash register. "If you'll be back
in 24 hours, we should have them both feeling like new."
"Hmmm? Nah, i'm just being paranoid. Well, go ahead. They
deserve a break, i guess."
"Oh, hazardous conditions?" The clerk punched two more
buttons.
Grey thought about life in Nerima. "Yeah, i guess so. Oh
well, back to the war."
The clerk watched the big fellow go and shrugged. It wasn't
her business.
-----------------------------
Grey hunkered down in the park they'd arrived in. He could
go to "Standby Mode" and shut everything down except a
surveillance routine. It would look like he'd fallen asleep,
and his biological parts *would* be asleep, though the alarm
system would be in place.
Instead he fiddled with the D-hopper and tried to get the
equipment working with the "Planewalker's Guide To The
Continuua" scans. It *had* been hectic lately, and finding
the way back had proven troublesome, which was probably why
it took him over four hours to read the data on the timeline
he was in.
The laptop-like computer whirred and clicked.
Reality: Timeline LR-111124
Divergence Point: Roman Empire developed improved set of
focussing lenses for heliographs, prompting an Age Of
Invention beginning in 144 BC by Imperial Edict. Roman
Empire breaks apart due to Succession Wars (550 AD - 590 AD)
but is reunited by Nathan Caesar, aka Nathan the Conquerer
in a series of wars and militaristic conquests from 995AD to
1021AD. New Roman Empire puts down three major attempts at
Wars of Independence, a fourth one being the North American
continent and that one was more of a war of logistics. World
is currently organized into three world powers. Roman Empire
controls most of Europe and Asia, also Indochina. North and
South American continent controlled by the Free States.
Japan currently under control by third force, Mordan
Industries, and is designated a resort area for people of
both Empires.
Analysis: Timeline Unresearched due to heavy backlog. There
are indications that an operative from Divine Analysis
vanished in this or a neighboring timeline forty-five years
ago, but a psychic probe has turned up no trace. Classified
request filed with Divine Intervention, this has also been
put off due to heavy backlog.
Overall Technical Level: 8, antigrav, genetic engineering,
and fusion power are common.
Overall Magical Level: 1 special, minor psychic abilities
and some magic, but quite rare in occurance.
Special: Some native abilities in alchemy and esper noted
as level 6.
WARNING: This timeline is rated a Class Four Hazard, though
reason for rating is not noted. Contact with this timeline
is restricted.
"Kinda late for that," Grey sighed. Class Four indicated
that the problem was very restricted in scope, took a long
time, or was more an inconvenience than deadly. A Class One
Hazard would be something like one of those worlds overrun
by Bugs or Mechanoids or something similar. A Class Three
Hazard would have been like the world where creatures from
Greek myth roamed the planet: dangerous but not very common.
It wasn't that unusual for a timeline to be restricted.
There were large numbers of timelines for each Heaven, and
they were always combining, ending, and splitting off. Law
Of Conservation Of Realities among other things. It wasn't
that unusual for a timeline to lack a full entry or
explanation, for the same reasons. That was part of the
reason for him to have the "Planewalker's Guide" - as a
method of exploring the timelines and forming a backup
database for Yggdrasil.
Grey let the device continue to scan and develop its entry
while letting an internal system do diagnosis on himself,
just in case he needed to perform a rescue on those two.
-------------------------
Ukyo sat back in the hot bath and exhaled as she relaxed.
"I *really* needed this!"
"Shampoo agree." Shampoo lazed back herself on the
underwater bench and gave a contented sigh.
"Well, up until Butch and Cassidy showed up, at least you
were able to get a bath on that Pokemon world." Ukyo closed
her eyes and leaned back, feeling the tensions melting out
of her. "I haven't had one since we started this cockamamie
trip!"
"Ukyo should not have doubted cyborg boy. We tease by
calling him 'Ranma' but Shampoo getting tired of running
joke." Shampoo interrupted herself with a long yawn. "Or
maybe Shampoo just plain tired. Haven't slept since we visit
world where crab people running around."
"Invid," corrected Ukyo. "Yeah, and I got woke up the same
time you had your bath interrupted. It's been a wild ride,
ain't it?"
"Is so." Shampoo seemed to drift off to half-sleep.
The silence continued for a few minutes, broken only by the
drip of water into the pool.
"So whattaya think, is that guy on the up and up?"
"Shampoo think so. He not lie to Shampoo yet." Shampoo
stretched and stood up out of the water. "What next?"
A figure stepped forward from the hallway. "Massage and
makeover, when you are ready, this way please."
Ukyo nodded and addressed Shampoo. "Yeah, I guess. So we
gotta stick by him and eventually we'll get to see the real
Ranma. Nice guy, if a bit weird."
Shampoo smiled slyly. "You take cyborg then, and when Ranma
show Shampoo will take Ranma."
"Uh uh, girl. The REAL Ranma is MY fiance." Ukyo was quick
to backpedal. "I thought you had to marry the guy who
defeated you, ain't that your law? Didn't Grey defeat you
and all?"
Shampoo shook her head, little droplets flying as she
toweled off. "No. Cyborg boy not real. He say he substitute
for Ranma. As he represent Ranma, he defeat for Ranma.
Besides, he not have all parts so he not really human."
The veiled figure of their spa guide motioned them into a
room where a fair number of women were already lying on
tables and being massaged by people who looked like they
knew what they were doing.
Shampoo picked up one of the odd headphones and heard the
strange music coming from it. Oddly relaxing and she was
already having trouble staying awake.
-----------------
Hearing the beep that signalled that the computer had
finished scanning, Grey checked the display again and
frowned. Now he had to go rescue those two. Great, just
great.
This world was nearly as bad as that one with the human
Pokemon. *THAT* had been a nasty mission, but one in where
his cyborg frame had actually been quite an advantage. He
hadn't been human in appearance, so passing as a
one-of-a-kind native had been fairly easy. Since it had been
one of the human slaves whose wish for freedom he had been
there to grant, it had been necessary for Grey to engage in
some activities he'd normally have had trouble with. Namely
stealing and pitfights. He had handed off the pokeballs he'd
gotten off that world to Urd, who'd be able to see if she
could free the pokeslaves.
Besides, on the pokeslave world, he'd felt good about
joining up with Team Rocket. He'd learned some valuable
skills there too, such as defeating high tech security
systems.
Well, he'd try the front door first. If there was a problem
he'd go in the back way.
----------------
"i'm just picking them up early," Grey informed the desk
clerk. "Something has come up and i need to get going."
"But, sir, their download is only..." The slave managing
the front desk checked a display. "They are only at 65%
reprogrammed. Their new bodies are prepped and ready."
"No problem, i'll take them. i really *must* be going, thou
gh."
"But... very well, sir." The slave shook her head. "I'll
have the team wrap up the current alterations. Do you want
the duplicates? You've already paid for them, after all."
Grey spent a moment wondering how much had been on his Card
anyway. "Yes, fine."
"Certainly, sir. If you'll take a seat, this won't take
long."
----------------
Shampoo groaned, woke up, and looked at herself.
Ukyo groaned, woke up, and looked at herself.
Four simultaneous screams let the cyborg know that they had
awakened.
"You want to explain this, sugar," Ukyo said, pointing at
the Ukyo in the blue spandex. Trying to ignore the way it
looked like a second skin on her twin.
"Hello, I am..." The Ukyo in blue paused and looked towards
Grey.
There was an immediate temptation to name her "Lime" or
some other food substance but Grey decided not to go there
but use a similar convention. Since Ukyo meant city to the
right, and this was a mirror image of Ukyo, city to the left
would work until something better came along. "Sakyo."
The Ukyo in blue nodded. "Hello. I am Sakyo. I am a
marionette backup of Ukyo Kuonji. My specialties are food
preparation and armed combat. Primary function: bodyguard,
secondary function: companion. My special function is
repair."
"Wh-wha-what?" Shampoo pointed at her twin in purple
spandex, who looked curiously at Grey as well.
Grey resisted the temptation to use the name of a hair care
product. "Shan."
The purple-spandex clad Shampoo nodded. "Hello. I am Shan.
I am a marionette backup of Shampoo. My specialties are
too-too delicious Chinese cooking and unarmed combat.
Primary function: bodyguard, secondary function: companion.
My specialty is strength."
"What's a marionette?"
"It's sort of an android." Grey winced. "Except that
apparently the Mordan Corporation that owns a good section
of China and Japan in that world has learned most of the
secrets of Jusenkyo and Phoenix Mountain. The 'marionettes'
are actually twins created by a mixture of technology and
alchemy, i think. Do you remember the Beauty Parlor?"
Four blank stares.
"You went into a building that you thought was a spa or
something like that. You wanted the works. That... included
some stuff you probably didn't want. i think I got most of
it fixed." Grey silently prayed that he'd gotten it fixed.
"Uhm, i had to call in a favor though as you two were both
put in something called Surikomi Eggs."
"Was that bad?" Ukyo noted the tea that Sakyo had put out
for her and tried to give her twin a smile.
"Well, if it hadn't worked, you two would probably be the
slaves of the first person you looked at upon hatching."
Grey fidgeted. "And i was not counting on Mousse's trick
with the mirror for this, since there's a good chance that
you'd have ended up narcissists."
"So what did you do?" Ukyo watched the guy moving around
and hoped she'd meet Ranchan soon. Otherwise, maybe she
*should* go with the cyborg. It at least wouldn't be dull.
"Contacted Urd to see what she could do. She found a way to
set it up as an interrupt while she deciphers the spell
effect." Grey sighed in relief as it seemed to have worked.
"I broke the eggs and gave you the potion. You looked at me,
but then fell asleep immediately as Urd's potion took
effect. As it's centered on my lifeforce, all I have to
avoid is dying. You two remain yourselves and we can try
getting things back to normal." And if it did fail, they
would hunt him down and then he could try ordering them to
be free.
Urd had thought it all quite amusing, and had been making
all sorts of suggestions as to what Grey should do if the
potion hadn't worked.
Shan and Sakyo exchanged a glance and wondered what was to
become of *them.*
"Where is we?" Shampoo looked around at the building, the
Chinese styling catching her attention.
"Mount Kensei, Bayankala Mountain Range, Qinghai Province."
Grey indicated. "I did a dimensional hop as soon as we were
away from the building. Unfortunately, that means we're less
than a mile from Jusenkyo."
Thunder crashed.
"Nice effect," noted Ukyo.
"Nah, storm's been building for an hour." Grey shrugged it
off.
"Actually she mean the girl coming out of the mirror," Shan
indicated by pointing.
Grey blinked and slumped. "Uhm, hello Belldandy. How's
Keiichi doing?"
"Not the Belldandy," came a snide voice. "Grey, once again
you have thoroughly botched up what was supposed to be a
simple assignment."
"Tiamat!?" Grey found himself wanting a rune weapon, meson
cannon, and a few Cosmo Knights backing him up. If the
Pheonix Mage had been present most likely the battle would
have ravaged most of China. The last world that had seen
Marduk and Tiamat physically battle had destroyed one of
their major continents.
"Oh, stop!" The woman's eyes glowed briefly.
Grey turned his eyes briefly to notice that Shampoo had
produced her maces, Ukyo her spatula, and both Shan and
Sakyo were attempting to flank. Unfortunately all four were
currently composed of colored marble. He winced. "Uhm.
You're not Tiamat, are you?"
"Well, so much for THAT idea." The woman glared at him and
shucked her costume.
"Lian Ascot, god, er, goddess of temporary positions?"
"I really want to thank you for that job over at the
Goddess Relief Office," growled the woman at the cyborg.
"Well, how was I to know that they were that strict about
employees? Look at the bright side, you're only female when
you're on the clock." Grey considered briefly. "Uhm, that
would mean you're here in an official capacity."
"Yeah. Let me get this over with."
"Uhm, before you do that, can you just paralyze them
instead of leaving them as stone - things have a tendency to
go wrong around me, y'know."
"Tell me about it," grumbled Lian as she gestured. "Ahem.
Here's the word from on high.
"Grey, probationary operative, you have screwed up your
simple assignment. You are to seek to minimize the
disruption. Ideally you are to act as Ranma as much as you
can. Further, you are to do this as a human, not a demon,
daemon, or cyborg.
"Your mission is to *fill in for Ranma* not go off and
planewalk with the minor characters."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Grey shrugged. "Hey, can I help it if I
like people making nice?"
"And you are NOT allowed to kill Akane."
"Spoilsport."
"I mean it. Go straight to the Tendo Dojo. Akane is off
limits."
Grey hid a smile. Well, that meant that he had to keep her
at a distance. Good. He hated abusive relationships, whether
it was back home with the wife shooting the husband, the
husband beating the wife, or if it were Akane + Ranma or
Mousse + Shampoo.
"Oh yeah, before I go." Lian took out a remote control and
clicked two buttons. "Good. Now TRY to keep in character."
Lian vanished.
"Pfeh, what does she think this is, a revengefic?" Grey
watched his body shift until it was an exact resemblence of
Ranma Saotome.
"Grey?" Shampoo came up to examine the transformed boy.
"What she do?"
"Turned me human. While it'll be nice to have a sense of
taste and all again, this is not a good thing. I'm supposed
to play the part of Ranma with minimal unarmed combat
skills."
"You is human? You is male?" Shampoo frowned and studied
the figure.
"Yeah, this is physically an exact duplicate of Ranma
Saotome, age 16." Grey seemed to be examining his right arm
and hand. "i wouldn't be surprised if it was down to the
genetic level. It's still me, though."
"He male and human." Shampoo repeated in a voice of doom.
She walked back to the table and put her head down so she
could mope.
"So you don't think you can fill Ranma's shoes, even if
it's his body?" Ukyo looked over the boy. If Ranma showed up
now, she'd know him on sight at least.
Shan and Sakyo started reheating everyone's tea, setting
out an extra cup under the idea that now that he wasn't a
cyborg that had to worry about internal system requirements
might appreciate the gesture.
"Look, i've got a lot of skills. Back when i was human the
first time i did a lot of jobs. Dishwasher, factory worker,
waiter, delivery driver, bricklayer, mechanic, TV repairman,
medical billing clerk, typist, retail sales, and warehouse
worker for example." Grey wrapped his hands around the
battered cup that was offered him and smiled in
appreciation. "After i was transformed into an incubus i was
a gofer, doing all sorts of scutwork for people. A bit of a
troubleshooter too, as i got my job for the Rival Relief
Office at that point. i learned more skills, but still
mainly in the role of 'Mr Fixit.' i had a chance to work in
a stardock in the United Federation of Planets, a brief
stint on a Commonwealth Rebel Transport, and a *thankfully*
brief tour of duty in charge of Penitent Souls conscripts
during a containment battle against Hell.
"Then there was nine years on that mining colony, Tarterus.
Nasty planet. It's either rock or its trying to eat you.
That's where i became a cyborg." And something about that
world had interfered with the normal healing process,
cutting his regenerative abilities down to the point where
even a minor cut could take days to heal. Though actually he
suspected some of it was Eiris' doing.
Ukyo blinked as Grey finally wound down. "So you're saying
you're supposed to be impersonating a martial artist, but
most of your skills don't involve fighting?"
"Oh no, i've done a *lot* of fighting. Just not martial
arts." Grey sipped his tea and gave a sigh of contentment.
"You have no idea how long i've wanted a cup of tea. Anyway,
i've done guerilla fighting on that pokeslave world, i've
done ship to ship and longrange combat, i've even done a bit
of swordfighting and some training while i was working that
transport. Hmmm, i think i've still got the lightsaber
somewhere. The only hand-to-hand skill i've ever really
gotten past the beginner stage was Dirty Street Fighting,
and that's been a few years."
"You're doomed." Ukyo's opinion was heartfelt.
"On the other hand, i can tell i've got Toltiir's Binding
again." At their blank looks, Grey continued. "If i'm
killed, get clear. There'll be a burst of flames and i will
reincarnate immediately. Painful as all get out, and i
usually end up more extreme than Doctor Who ever did. If i'm
crippled, i'll either regenerate or end up with some cyborg
bits like i did this last time. No matter what the body
looks like though, another one of the clauses i slapped into
my original wish was specifically an 'anti-bimbo' effect. My
'sense of self' and intellect (such as it is) can't be
altered significantly from the outside. Typical mind control
stuff ain't gonna work on me. On the other hand, i pick up
new skills even easier than i did in my first life, plus i
can speak four languages. Before you ask: English, Japanese,
Elven, and Galacc. Can't read any of 'em besides English and
Galacc that well, basics only.
"Since part of what i wished for (part of the anti-bimbo
clause) was competency, i've got a wild talent of sorts.
When i was a demon it was psychometry. As a cyborg it was an
odd combination of gadgets. Right now it's apparently a form
of Second Sight.
"Which brings up an interesting observation, apparently
Shan and Sakyo may be cyborgs themselves as they've got what
look like newborn souls." Grey decided not to mention that
it looked as if they were actually Ukyo's and Shampoo's
daughters - there was that kind of pattern match, or was
this something like a maiden circuit - an electronic soul?
No, those were *human* souls and Shampoo and Ukyo were
definitely the mothers. Grey felt if he mentioned it right
now, however, all four might go into shock. All four looked
close to that point already.
"You're... immortal?" Ukyo stared at the Ranma in front of
her.
Shampoo lightly slapped Ukyo in the head. "Where he work?
Why not be immortal?"
"Well, the definition they use is 'Eternal' since i can
die. i just get better." Grey shrugged. "i got a wish i
didn't want to make, so i loaded dozens of clauses on it to
make it as livable as possible. Not that i haven't
benefitted some from it. While i was working for the Rival
Relief Office, i put together a bag of tricks from things i
picked up in my travels. Some of which those Senshi stole in
my First Labor.
"Speaking of which, you can keep Ponyta if you like,
Shampoo. You two get along better than he and i ever did."
Grey casually tossed the pokeball back to the Amazon.
Shampoo merely caught the ball and stared at it, though she
still looked as if she was in shock over something.
"So, anyway, because they want this timeline more or less
on track, that means i gotta go to Japan. Shampoo, you might
as well go back to your village. If they want this to be a
'canon' universe, you never stand a chance of picking up
Ranma cause you're after him to kill him at first 'cause he
beat you as a girl before you learned he was a guy. Then you
spend a lotta time trying to win him by the terms of your
own culture, forgetting *his* culture is more important to
him. Likewise, Ukyo, he can never come to terms with you
showing up as a guy, and all his memories of you from
earlier have you as a boy."
Shampoo and Ukyo seemed to get very thoughtful at this.
"So he ends up in a mutually abusive relationship where
he's verbally abusive and his fiancee is both verbally and
physically abusive, the two of them settling into a pattern
that lasts the rest of their lives. Akane wins his heart by
being the first girl ever to show him any kindness and the
two eventually marry due to: teenage hormones, an honor
agreement between the families Tendo & Saotome, and equal
degrees of love and hate. At that point even the mainline
splits apart. i've seen it where both of them suddenly
change personalities to a relatively normal couple, i've
seen it where Akane's violence and anger curdles within her
until it reaches a breaking point, i've seen it where Ranma
takes after his father and leaves for frequent training
trips and eventually the madness goes on to another
generation, and i've seen timelines where there's a *messy*
divorce and the two go their seperate ways.
"i've also seen a few, where, after Akane is pregnant with
Ranma's child, he's killed. Or she suffers the same fate as
a lot of other mothers around them and dies before her child
is very old at all."
"And I don't have a chance to prevent any of those fates?"
Ukyo was incredulous.
"Not in anything approaching a mainline universe. Sorry.
The crossdressing and your obsessiveness kept you from
getting close, but if you'd reunited with him prior to him
reaching Nerima you might have won anyway." Grey was honest
in his opinion and responding to the question. Another might
have suggested Ukyo settle down with Tsubasa.
"And Shampoo not have chance if pursue Amazon-style," said
Shampoo thoughtfully.
"Yeah. AND of course, since nobody cooperated with each
other everyone got in each other's way. Except that Akane
had the home court advantage by being constantly there, if
Ranma had seen her only occasionally i doubt he would have
ever noticed her being nice just because of all the times
she was angry. Sometimes he triggered it, sometimes one of
you would trigger it, sometimes her sister would trigger it,
but you can argue causes. One popular theory about the
central mainline was that she had Rage Disorder. In THIS
timeline, originally, a guy named Tatewaki Kuno reduced
Akane AND Ranma into bimbo love-slaves using a wishing
sword. Then an alteration was made where Ranma mastered the
Catfist and became a great warrior. In that timeline he DID
marry Shampoo."
Shampoo jerked and looked up at that.
"However there was another alteration, some sort of outside
intervention, trying to make this a mainline and do away
with the first alteration. THAT caused Ranma to go berserk
the next time he was cornered and surrounded by cats. Like i
told y'all earlier, that's why i'm here and substituting for
Ranma. Trying to stabilize things a bit so that Ranma can be
re-introduced and then retroed."
"So when it's fixed, will we remember any of this?" Ukyo
frowned when Grey nodded. "How can I avoid forgetting it?"
"Sorry, only ways i can think of offhand are: if you're
offplane when the change occurs, if the timeline isn't close
enough to BE stabilized, if you're shielded by divine
intervention, or if you come up with some magical
intervention like a wish. It's not like you could simply
upload your memories and then restore from a backup." Grey
watched the rains recede from outside. "Well, that's it.
I've got to get going. Japan is a *long* walk from here."
"Yeah, you go." Ukyo pondered something. "I'm gonna stick
around here and check out these Chinese Amazons. RIGHT,
Shampoo?"
"Oh, yeah, yeah. You be guest of Shampoo, no problem. It
not like anybody remember this anyway. We catch up to you
later, yes? Show up much later just like originally!"
Grey smiled and nodded back. "Okay, Shampoo. You show up in
a month and a half, and you're hunting for me to kill me.
Though i don't turn into a girl so how that's gonna work i
don't know. Ukyo shows up six months later, hunting Genma to
visit revenge upon the two who abandoned you."
"Except that Ranma never knew. Gotcha covered, Ace." Ukyo
winked as the Ranma-impersonator left. "Shampoo?"
"Not-the-Ranma cannot lie, always tell truth," Shampoo said
slyly. "That not mean *we* not lie."
"Hey, I *never* gave my word to this. Now listenup you
three, I gotta plan."
-------------------
"Lian Ascot" stepped beyond the mirror and ripped her
disguise off. Marller paused for a brief moment until a
large anvil (marked 10["4] tons) materialized over her head
and fell. As it was a Warner Brothers anvil, no permanent
damage was done.
Urd looked down at Toltiir with wide eyes. "About time
somebody did that!"
Toltiir managed a feline shrug. "Hey, him trying to be
Ranma ain't gonna be amusing. He'll figure out it was
misdirection eventually, but in the meantime."
"We'll just have to figure out a way that nice things can
happen to nice people for a change." Urd nodded and started
considering where to meddle.
"Not too fast," Toltiir cautioned. "He might die of shock."
======================================
"You've made *Grey* your selected Rival? He's about
as threatening as warm oatmeal! You might as well have
selected Kasumi Tendo as an Enemy! Pfeh."
-Eiris, Reluctant Bet
metro...@mindspring.com
http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com/