[Ranma][Fanfic] How Do You Spell HALLOWEEN 1/2?
AlphSailor
Since it's Halloween, I decided to write Ranma 1/2 Halloween fanfic,
so here it is. I hope you find it amusing. Disclaimers and notes at
the end.
Happy Halloween.
---
How do you spell HALLOWEEN 1/2?
By Sailor Alpha <AlphS...@aol.com>
Gosunkugi muttered some curse as he tried to light the 169th candle,
but burned his hand again. His hands were already red and full of
blisters, having accidentally strayed over the candles several times.
But he was very close to accomplishing his spell. The markings were
drawn everywhere in his room. Everything was prepared and all that
remained was the chanting.
He marveled at himself about how lucky he was to stumble across a
book that he now had. It was obviously an ancient book, covered with
dust and hundreds of pages full of cryptic magic chants. At last he
would be with AKANE! He drooled over his fantasy doing, doing,
doing...
He scratched his head; he couldn't remember what he wanted to do...
AH! He wanted to be with AKANE! Finally, after countless days of
watching dear AKANE from afar, he would finally be able to... to...
to...
Forget it, he would worry about that later- it was time for him to
begin the chant. He quickly looked up a particular spell and began
chanting...
"Um, 'Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond blood that flows.
Buried in the flow of time..' Wait a minute- that's the wrong spell!"
A quick flipping of papers and 297.3 pages later (two-thirds of a
page were torn away), he tried again, "In thy darkness, trapped in
eternal blackness with no escape save a idiotic chant of a novice
magician, thy lord of wickedness and slight, FREE YOURSELF AND DO THY
BIDDING OF MINE!"
There was a sudden burst of flames and smoke which engulfed his room.
Choking, he managed to catch a glimpse of two glaring red eyes. He
DID it! Now Saotome would pay for his crimes against AKANE!
"I command you to beat RANMA SAOTOME!" Gosunkugi shouted, then
blinked as the smoke swirled away immediately from his room. Nothing
was left, except for a scorched carpet on where markings used to be.
"I.. it didn't work...?"
*****
"What's this?" Ranma cocked his eyebrow.
"It's a pamphlet."
"I know that, old ghoul! What I want to know is what the heck is this
'Halloween'?!"
Cologne sighed, "If you had studied in your class bit harder, son-in-
law, you would know. Halloween is an American holiday. I've decided
to celebrate that holiday, if just to make our day more amusing..."
Akane nudged Ranma aside and took the pamphlet in her hand, reading
it. "'Halloween Party at the Haunted Nekohanten?' What's going on?"
"As I told the son-in-law here, I've decided to host a Halloween
party at a house not far from here. I'm sure many would appreciate
this opportunity to experience a rather unusual American holiday."
Cologne nodded, "Don't worry, everything's been prepared tonight,
there's plenty of food, candy, and... some unusual fun." Cologne
chuckled at the last word. "You and the Tendos are invited, of
course. And so is everybody."
"And what kind of 'fun' are you referring to?" Nabiki glared
suspiciously at old crone.
"Oh nothing... Just a typical Halloween fun, nothing more. Why not
come and have some fun?" Cologne hopped away on her cane, then paused
briefly to regard the Tendos, "Oh before I forget, please do wear
some costumes. This IS Halloween party, after all..."
As Cologne left, Ranma muttered, "Do we hafta wear costumes? What am
I going to wear?" He glanced up at Akane and blanched as he saw her
predatory grin. Uh oh, this looks like trouble...
"Don't worry, Ranma, I've got an idea. Time to collect my bet you
lost in that card game."
"Um, I think I'll turn down that offer," Ranma brought up his hands,
sweatdropping. "But thanks anyway."
Akane glared at him, "No, it is NOT an option. You're COMING, no
matter you like it or not! Or would you rather I asked Nabiki to
collect my fee?" She had him there, and she knew it. "Come on, Ranma!
I've always wanted to do this!"
Having already accumulated rather large debts against Nabiki, he had
no desire to owe more to the monkey queen, so he resigned to the
inevitable and got up to follow after beaming Akane. Thoughts of
possible torture Akane had planned for him flashed through his mind.
What did Akane have in her mind? Pictures of EXTREMELY kawaii
creatures flashed through his mind. He blanched at the thought of
being P-Chan for Halloween. If anybody saw him dressed up as a
piglet, especially Ryoga, he would never live it down! Or would he
have to dress up as a girl in dresses?
Akane quickly dragged Ranma behind her to her bedroom and shut the
door behind them, leaving the rest of Tendo family wondering just
what they meant by that. Kasumi remarked as the fiancÈes left, "Oh
my, that sounds fun! What shall I wear?"
Moments later, Ranma's loud protests could be heard from Akane's
room.
*****
Meanwhile, at Ucchan's, Shampoo smiled sweetly at Ukyo, "Is no trick.
Great-grandmother say for fun. Arien go there too!"
"Yeah, right." Ukyo glared, twisting her pamphlet into a ball.
"You're probably going to pull off some scam on me, so you can just
have Ranma-chan all to yourself! Well, I've got news for you, bimbo-
Ran-chan's all mine!"
"Arien all mine! You no get him, spatula-girl!" Shampoo stuck out a
tongue at her before she was glomped by Mousse, which was a surprise
for both girls because he often mistook everything else for Shampoo.
"I love you, Shampoo!"
Ukyo grinned slightly, "Fine, how about a bet? Whoever gets to go out
with Ranma at that party will win!"
"Please marry me, Shampoo!" Mousse groveled, and Shampoo replied by
punting him into the sky, then turned to Ukyo.
"You on!"
*****
"Master?" Sasuke knocked on Master Kuno's bedroom door lightly. He
knew that Kuno was in the middle of mediation at this moment, and he
didn't want to disturb him, otherwise he might face his fury. There
was no answer, so he opened the door quietly and crept inside.
He did not get very far when a bokken appeared out of nowhere at his
throat, and a voice sang out, "How dare you intrude upon Tatewaki
Kuno's scared mediation practice?! You SHALL PAY FOR THAT!"
"Master! It's me, your loyal servant, Sasuke!" The servant yelped and
involuntarily stepped back from the wooden sword. It certainly looked
sharp enough to split a hair strand into half. "A young girl in
Chinese clothes stopped by to give you this paper. It's about a
'Halloween Party' at Haunted Nekohanten, and that everyone will be
attending." He handed the pamphlet to his master.
Kuno lowered his bokken and read the orange paper in his hand. "Did
she say that everyone would be attending? What about Akane and the
pigtailed girl?"
"I would assume that yes, they will be attending as well."
"Good. Inform the Madame Cologne that I shall be attending the
party."
Sasuke nodded, "I shall inform Cologne of your plans. Should I inform
Mistress Kodachi as well?"
"Best leave her out of this. This does not concern my sister. Now go.
I have to continue my mediation."
Sasuke bowed and left quickly to leave his master to his mediating
session.
"Oh my lovely pig-tailed girl and demure Akane Tendo! Which shall I
choose?"
Somewhere in Nermia, Ranma and Akane sneezed simultaneously.
*****
A certain panty thief stopped by a signpost and read an orange sign.
"Hmm? A Halloween party tonight? This is gonna be fun!" With that, he
quickly bolted just in time to avoid the projectiles thrown by a
horde of angry teenager girls. He did not notice a particular
enormous flying creature trailing him.
*****
Ryoga was lost, again. He had received the orange pamphlet from
Mousse earlier, and decided to attend. He had stopped by a store that
he thought it was a police shop
He accidentally tripped through a wall of tapes that hung down from a
tree, and they stuck to him so firmly that whenever he tried to pull
them off, he pulled hairs off his skin. Since it was so painful, he
decided to leave them as they were and focused on finding the Haunted
Nekohanten. But everybody kept on running away from him for some
reason he couldn't figure out.
He tried to ask another passerby, "Um, do you know where can I find
the Haunted Nekohanten in Tokyo?"
"Tokyo? This isn't Tokyo- it's Akka-aaaAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
If he had been more conscious about his self-image, he would have
realized that he resembled an undead mummy carrying a pack of burial
tools.
*****
Cologne welcomed the visitors into the Haunted Nekohanten, but the
son-in-law yet had to appear at the party. She turned to Shampoo,
"Are you ready, Shampoo?"
"Shampoo ready!"
"You know exactly what to do? I set up this party so my son-in-law
would relax and lower his defenses. Once he lowers his defenses, slip
him a drink with the mixture of special herbs that I've prepared. It
will make him drop any inhibitions he might have had towards you.
Once he drinks, all you have to do is make a slightest suggestion and
he will do it."
"Shampoo understand!"
"No, go and get dressed for the party, granddaughter."
Shampoo nodded and left. She did not notice a slow smile appear on
Cologne's wrinkled face.
*****
It was already dark when the Tendos and Saotomes finally approached
the Haunted Nekohanten, though not without some problems.
Akane regarded Ranma who was mumbling angrily. "Come on, don't be a
spoilsport! I know it's going to be fun tonight. You should at least
enjoy it."
Ranma stopped and turned to face Akane, "But why'd we hafta do
this?!" He gestured to their 'costumes.' Akane had come up with an
idea for costumes and suggested that they swap their identity; Akane
would be disguised as Ranma-onna and Ranma as Akane.
It had proved to be difficult task for them, but they somehow managed
to make themselves look almost like their counterparts. Akane dyed
her hair red and added a fake ponytail that Ranma had often used for
his disguises in the past, and altered her hairstyle to fit Ranma's
usual one. She wore Ranma's favorite outfit, red Chinese shirt and
blue pants. If she kept her mouth shut, nobody would have suspected
that Akane was Ranma.
Ranma, however, had proved to be extremely uncooperative. It took
some time and intervention of Nabiki, to convince him to go along
with this idea. Ranma-onna had dyed his hair black and hid his
pigtails in a white sunhat, and was wearing one of Akane's dresses,
an orange one with blue blouse.
Their disguises were almost flawless, except for their behavior which
had to be faked somewhat, and their eye colors didn't match. Ranma's
had blue eyes while Akane had brown.
The rest of Tendo and Saotome family were behind them as well, to
attend the party. Ranma's father decided to go as panda, not wanting
to waste time with disguises. Soun, pathetically enough, wore only a
fake beard and glasses. Nabiki was enjoying herself already; she was
wearing the queen outfit she had worn from the Toma Island after
being stranded there. She grinned at the drooling faces of boys and
proceeded to charge them for looking. By the time the Haunted
Nekohanten had become visible, she had made considerable sum of
money, and was wondering how many more money would she make by taking
advantage of Ranma's unfortunate situation.
Everyone remained a safe distance from Kasumi and Dr. Tofu, as they
walked behind them. Kasumi had elected to go as a bridesmaid, which
struck everybody as stunning and even struck Dr. Tofu senseless. On
the other hand, Dr. Tofu was supposed to be some superhero, but his
costume were in rags. He had shredded them long time ago when Kasumi
stopped by to pick him up for the Halloween party, but Dr. Tofu did
not mind as he stuttered as he admired the beauty of Kasumi.
They were excited about the prospect of experiencing the unusual
holiday, except for Ranma who was still upset. "I mean, why would I
ever want to wear a such kawaiiune tomboy's clothes--"
"Rannnmaaa..."
Ranma quickly brought up her hands, expecting Akane to bash him with
her mallet. When no attack came, he lowered his hands and saw Akane
struggling to contain her temper.
Akane clenched her fists and silently counted to ten before talking,
"Ranma, why can't you just do this once?" Akane cut off Ranma before
she could speak and went on. "I know you don't like this, but I want
us to have fun. It's Halloween, please do it- if not for yourself,
then do it for me! I want to see the looks on everybody's faces when
we appear. Please?"
There was a brief silence as Ranma looked at Akane, who seemed to be
on verge of tears. He would regret his decision for long time, and
nodded. "All right, I'll do it. BUT this comes off when it's over,
understand?!"
Akane suddenly jumped with joy and hugged Ranma before she realized
what she was doing. She hastily separated herself from her and began
moving, chattering happily. She giggled, "I'm going to enjoy this,
Ranma!"
"Why's that, Akane?"
"Look at us! YOU're uncute, and I'M CUTE!" With that, Akane stuck a
tongue at Ranma.
"Oh yeah?" Ranma mumbled unceremoniously and sulked. She HATED
wearing dresses. At least it won't be for long and was about to greet
the old crone at the door when someone glomped her from behind.
Kuno exulted happily, "Oh my beauteous Akane Tendo! I am so honored
to have you grace my presence at this place, and I shall--" he didn't
get far when Ranma punted him into sky.
"Arrrgghhh! That idiot Kuno, even dressed as Akane, he still--" She
stopped mid-sentence as truth dawned on him.
"Hmm, Kuno apparently didn't recognize you as Akane." Nabiki grinned,
if Kuno didn't catch on, then it might be likely that others won't.
When she realized that a visitor was coming, she grinned. THIS was
defiently interesting.
"Hiya, Ran-chan!" Ukyo bounced into sight, displaying her adorable
figure enclosed in a sexy Playboy bunny outfit and embraced Akane
cheerfully. "I'm so glad that you came--" She stopped taking when she
realized that the Ranma she was hugging felt differently stepped back
to stare into Akane's face for a moment, then gasped. "Akane? How--?"
"You knew? Oh pooh! I wanted to see how long it would take you to
find out." Akane pouted slightly, then shrugged. "Ranma and I wanted
to switch ourselves and have bit of fun. You certainly thought I was
him." She giggled.
"You were pretty convincing, Akane- right down to the actions. Don't
worry, you'll have your chance to fool others."
Akane slapped Ranma's face to stop his drooling, "Ranma! Stop looking
at her like that!"
"Huh? Oh, gomen."
"Time to go in and have some fun!" Ukyo exclaimed happily and pulled
Ranma after her, "Come on, let's go Akane!"
*****
Shampoo had been waiting for Ranma for nearly an hour until she saw
her approaching Haunted Nekohanten and was about to begin her usual
greeting- a friendly "Hi, arien!" greeting and a long embrace. She
only hoped that her outfit won't scare Ranma off, which she didn't
think it would- a simple addition of cat ears and tail. She was
amazed at how closely she resembled her cat form like this.
A clown glomped to Shampoo for the hundredth time as Mousse exclaimed
happily, "Shampoo! I love you, Shampoo!" A kick later, he found
himself sailing though the sky. Shampoo quickly turned around only to
find out that Ranma and Akane had disappeared into the building.
"Stupid Mousse! Now Shampoo have to look for arien again!" She cursed
and stomped her way into the building.
*****
The party began in earnest once the rest of guests had arrived, and
drinks and food were brought out, and various games and activities
were held. Ukyo drew stares from boys whenever she went, making sure
she was near Ranma as often as she could without arousing suspicions
of others.
Mikado tried to hit on a couple of girls, but were repulsed by them
all until he found a confidant in a ninja who went by the name of
Kontasu. Needless to say, his heart broke apart when he found out
that she was a he.
Ranma had been bored until Ryoga came in and an inspiration struck
her. She ran over to the lost boy and put on her best act she had
mustered in her entire life, "Oh, Ryoga! I'm sooo glad that you're
here! I've missed you so much!" He snuggled closer to him, batting
his eyes.
"A-Akane? What're you doing here in Hokkaido?" Ryoga began to stutter
stupidly.
Ranma laughed inwardly, Ryoga was so gullible! "Oh, Ryoga-san! I'm
soo scared! There's monsters everywhere!" With that, Ranma put her
arms around Ryoga, sweetening the sound of her voice. Ryoga began to
blubber like an idiot.
"Ranma!" She blinked in surprise, who said that?
"Oh great, leave it to Akane to spoil my fun!" Ranma pouted as Akane
stomped between them and pulled her off Ryoga. She then quickly
explained to Ryoga what was going on, as he blinked in shock, then
Ryoga then gave Ranma a glare that signaled that there would be a
hell to pay.
It wasn't fair! Why can't she have any fun?! Slightly angry, Ranma
hurled an insult at Akane. Akane retorted and she screamed about
being called kawaiiune. It was all an act, of course; but everybody
had been fooled. It didn't take long for things to stir up again
after that when Shampoo sensed an opportunity and bounced up to
Akane, purring slightly as she offered a cup to her. Akane took the
cup and paused.
Akane eyed smiling Shampoo suspiciously, certain that she was up to
something. She knew that Cologne and Shampoo wouldn't pass up a
chance to ensnare Ranma as Shampoo's bride. But it appeared to her
that Shampoo was completely unaware of the fact that she was offering
her drink to Akane, not to the Ranma Shampoo apparently thought she
was.
This was a perfect opportunity for her to spoil whatever the Amazon
was planning, so she drained the whole cup, confident that whatever
she was drinking was nothing more than a simple love potion. If it
wasn't, she can always weather it out until its effects wore off. To
her, Ranma was well worth taking this risk.
What she did not expect was the effect of her drink to take effect
immediately. Her vision began to blur as she slurred, "Hey, what's
thish stuff? Make ma feel good, ah wanna more..." She lurched around
and wobbled through the crowd of people, making idiotic remarks.
Shampoo blinked in surprise; that wasn't supposed to happen. She
picked up the cup Akane had dropped and sniffed it. She reeled from
the stench and dropped the cup. "Ayiaa! That sake! What happen to
magic drink?" Shampoo cried in dismay as she watched her 'arien' sway
around through the crowds, singing off-key.
Unnoticed, Mousse drank from the cup meant for Ranma.
"Where's she!" Akane thought, swaying as she searched for Ranma. How
good it felt for her, she wondered why she had thought sake were so
terrible, then forgot everything a she zeroed on Ranma. "Hey, cutie-
pie!"
Before Ranma could react, though, Akane threw herself upon him and
they fell together. Akane refused to budge from Ranma's attempts to
pry her off. "No, no, I wanna stay with you!" She then proclaimed to
the crowd how cute Ranma looked in her dress, disregarding their
agreement to keep their identies secret.
Ranma blushed furiously and tried to snap Akane out of her drowsy
state, "You're drunk, Akane! You don't know what you're talking
about, so snap outta it! I mean, everybody's looking at us- do ya
wanna them get the wrong idea?!"
"I don't care, I want you, Ranma." Akane smiled at her fiancÈe and
brought her face closer, her lips puckering, and Ranma's eyes bulged
as she realized her intention. Ranma froze She wanted to kiss him
desperately, and the fact that he was a she didn't bother her. She
would have made it, if she hadn't passed out mere centimeters from
her lips, and snored quietly.
"Ayia! Ranma no want kiss Shampoo but violent tomboy! Now Shampoo
very mad!" Shampoo roared and was about to attack Ranma, thinking she
was Akane, when Ukyo hopped into sight and knocked her to the side.
Ukyo ran to Akane's side and looked at Ranma, "What happened her,
Ran-chan?! That hussy did something to her, didn't she?!" Agitated,
Ukyo stood up to face the Amazon. She barely had chance to pounce
upon Shampoo when Happosai glued himself to her breasts feeling them.
Ukyo uttered a piercing scream that put other women to shame, and
pulled out her enormous spatula from nowhere and tried to squash the
pervert. She missed and hit Ryoga instead, sending him crashing into
Kuno. The second time she missed, she hit Ranma.
"I'm sorry!"
Just then Kuno appeared, shouting "My dearest Akane! I shall protect
you from--" He did not complete his sentence as Ranma punched him in
his face.
Distracted, Ranma didn't notice a raccoon sneaking up behind her
until it was too late.
"AKANE! Let me feel your lovely bosom!" Disguised as a raccoon,
Happosai immediately latched himself between Ranma's breasts. He
allowed himself to cozy up to the twin mounds before he realized that
they felt familiar; he had felt them up frequently but he rarely had
the opportunity to feel dear Akane's breasts. Akane's breasts were
lot SMALLER than the ones he was feeling. He had only a split second
to recognize them before a fist punched into him, "R-Ranma? B-but how
can this be?"
The Akane impersonator picked up the old man, still shocked at his
"discovery," and punted him through the roof into the night.
"CHARRRRRGE!" Next thing everybody knew, a huge tree crashed through
the wall as Tsuba Kurenai pounced at Ukyo. Fortunately for her, he
never reached his target as Kontasu, in his ninja gear, pounced from
his cover and slashed the tree into itty-bitty pieces.
Mousse swooned as he caught sight of his love, Shampoo. Whatever the
drink Shampoo had brought, it sure was potent one, all right. He
could feel its effects working as he lost control of sense and
sanity. "SHAMPOO!! I LOVE YOU!" He shouted as he glomped to Ryoga and
began kissing.
"GET OFF ME!" Disgusted, Ryoga punted the blind man into a table of
food, scattering the contents everywhere and on everybody, and a
certain yellow creature named Pikachu eeped in fright and ran away
after trying to steal some sweets.
Sensing the opportunity to create stir, several students chorused as
they began throwing food at everybody. "FOOD FIGHT!" They didn't hear
shouts of 'Delinquents!' as a cute doll walked up behind them.
On the sidelines, Kasumi giggled as Tofu paralyzed a waiter bringing
them their drinks by accident.
*****
The oni smoked around a corner quietly.
His target was within his reach. He could feel him, and the feeling
of anticipation filled him. Soon, he would prove to the world that he
was the mightiest being! After the Kamis, of course.
Now, which room was he in?
*****
During the ensuing battle, nobody noticed an ominous cloud creeping
up behind drowsy Akane and enveloping her. Akane had decency to
scream, though. It was loud enough to cut though the commotion in the
main room and everybody abruptly ceased their activity.
"AKANE?!" Ranma shouted, as she bolted after the source of the
screams, with Ryoga and Ukyo following close in behind. This confused
everyone; why did Akane call after Ranma by her name?
"Where are you--?!" Ranma was about to turn the corner in the hallway
when she vanished into thin air. Ryoga and Ukyo, who were right
behind Ranma, vanished as well.
Shampoo blinked at the place where her arien had vanished and
advanced warily, as if expecting some attack. "Ariennnnnnnnnnnnnn--"
She took a step too far and found herself falling down a dark tunnel
through a hidden trap-door.
Cologne blinked at vanishing Shampoo and murmured, "My, that's a
rather interesting development." It didn't take long before the rest
of visitors finally realized exactly what was going and went into
screaming frenzy.
The appearance of Pantyhose in his cursed form didn't help matters as
he barged through another wall, "HAPPOSAI! Where are you?!"
Happosai quickly made himself scarce, but not before he lobbed his
Happodaikarins to cover his escape. Unfortunately, one of his bombs
fried a nearby circuit board, and the lights went out in the
building, plunging everyone into darkness.
Lighting flashed in background, illuminating Kuno as he struck one of
his poses, "That was a DEMON! I shall erase thy vile demon from the
face of Earth, as it is my sole duty to fulfill thy family's
tradition! Prepare yourself, vile foul-mouthed demon!"
Unnoticed by the pandemonium, a Jack-0-Lantern grinned evilly nearby.
The American holiday of Halloween had defiently taken hold in Japan.
*****
"This one must work! It's got to!" A quick chant later, there was a
flash of light and a goddess appeared.
"Oh, did you call for me? I'm second-level goddess Urd. Pleasant to
make acquaintance with you. By the way, you've got a wish."
Gosunkugi blinked, "A wish?"
"Yes, just make a wish, and I'll grant it. Depending on what you wish
for, of course..." Urd winked slyly at him.
"Really?"
Urd nodded, and Gosunkugi jumped with joy, "At last, I'll have a date
with AKANE!" He turned to Urd, "I wish for a date from AKANE TENDO!"
"GRANTED!" There was, however, no flash of light or special effects.
Urd nodded, "It's done. Ah, somebody's at the door. Must be your
Akane."
"AKANE!!" Gosunkugi bolted to the door in an instant, after the
initial shrieking in fear of what to do. He opened door, screaming
"AKANE!!" and stumbled into a surprised mailman who was about to
knock again. "Um, sorry..."
This was defiently too weird for the mailman- a kid with candles on
his head. Damned American holiday of Halloween, he swore that this
would be the last time he agreed to a door-delivery on the eve of
that holiday. "Delivery for Hikaru Gosunkugi?"
"That's me." Gosunkugi signed the paper and received a small package
with AKANE's name on it. "A present from A-AKANE?!" He quickly tore
open the wrapping and stared at the contents in surprise, a couple of
dates. "What's this?"
"Heh, heh. I love pulling pranks on these kids. Too bad I can't do
the same to Keiichi." Urd snickered as she vanished into a nearby
television set unnoticed.
*****
Ryoga was upset. Not only he had lost Akane, he also had lost his
way. He had ended up at the same place he found himself after falling
down a tunnel, twice when he tried to find Akane.
Why did this have to happen to him? His life had been hell ever since
Ranma had knocked him into the pool of drowned piglet. Now he was
cursed to turn into the pig whenever doused with water. At least
Ranma was honorable enough to keep his curse a secret, but it seemed
to him that he kept his secret just to terrorize him by threatening
to reveal his curse to Akane.
"AKANE! Where are you?!"
He had fallen in love with Akane, and it pained him that Akane loved
him only as her pet, P-Chan. He thought it would be only a short
time, but as time passed, he became so attached to her affections
that he would often turn into pig just to be near her. But he didn't
dare to reveal his curse to her because she might hate him for what
he had done.
He sighed as he turned left again and opened the door into a room. He
recognized it immediately. It was the same room he had visited twice.
"ARRRGGHHHH!"
*****
It had been nearly an hour since Akane had vanished, and Ranma still
hadn't found her. He had tripped more than dozen traps during her
search and sustained more than his usual share of injuries. Damn that
monster for thinking Akane was her! But inside, she was scared. Of
what had happened to her.
She couldn't bear the thought of being alone without Akane. As much
as she hated to admit, she DID like Akane. Despite what had occurred
between her and Akane since she first appeared at Tendo house, she
had grown to care for her, despite her tomboyish nature.
She hoped that Akane was okay and still alive somewhere. What if she
had fallen into one of those traps? Did she escape from the monster?
She swore that if the oni had harmed Akane in any way, she would--
Wait. There was someone up ahead of her. Could it be Akane? She hoped
it was, and moved again. Damn that monster for thinking Akane was
her! As if it wasn't bad enough--
She was immediately blinded by numerous light flashes. She brought up
her hands to cover her face, "What the hell?"
Nabiki grinned as she lowered her camera, "Everybody's gonna love
this. I mean, who would've thought Ranma'd actually be wearing a
dress, let alone pretending to be a uncute fiancÈe? Looks like you're
a pervert after all!" She quickly took a couple of pictures before
Ranma could react and ran off.
"Hold on! Nabiki!" Ranma quickly chased after her, but when she
entered the room where the queen had escaped into, Nabiki was nowhere
to be found. She, however, did find a black cat.
One could almost swear there was an inhuman cackling laughter as
Ranma screamed.
*****
A dark cloud swept along the haunted hallway quietly, stalking its
prey... HE was very close... Soon, the infernal would know the TRUE
wrath of the Dangerous and REALLY, REALLY Powerful Oni! The cloud
cackled evilly to itself and slowly seeped through a hole in the
wall. Soon...
But first, he had to make sure he had the RIGHT prey. He didn't want
to make another mistake; his cheek from where his latest victim had
slapped him was still sore.
*****
An evil laugher echoed throughout the room as Kodachi chuckled as she
crept among the overturned tables, "How dare they ignore me! They
shall pay for their folly, ho-ho-ho-ho!"
As she was about to prepare her latest sleeping potion for her
unsuspecting enemies, a blue and orange blur knocked into her, crying
out about cats. Knocked aside by the running female, the sister lost
the hold on her sleeping potion and involuntarily inhaled the fine
mist. Moments later, she dropped to the ground, unconscious.
*****
"What are you doing here, you hussy?" Ukyo snarled as she faced off
Shampoo.
She couldn't believe her luck that she had ended up with Shampoo
after falling down the dark tunnel. Why couldn't it be Ranma?
"You no wanted here, spatula-girl!"
"I'm not going to let you land your hands on my Ran-chan! He's MINE!"
"Shampoo no let spatula-girl have arien!"
Ukyo pulled out her smaller battle spatulas and readied her enormous
spatula for combat. Shampoo prepared her bonboris. They uttered their
attack phrases and leapt, only to be interrupted by a bright flash of
light. Two people materialized out of nowhere between the girls. A
boy and girl with very unusual clothing looked around on confusion.
"Um, where are we?"
"We must have made a mistake somehow with our transportation spell!
We must try again, Sawanogchi-kun!"
"Yes, sempai!"
A brief chant and the 'witches' vanished, leaving the girls
dumbfounded.
*****
Somewhere in the building, Mousse knelt to the ground, his head bowed
as he spoke the words, "Oh, my darling! I am so happy that you've
accepted my proposal!" The time had come at last for him to take
Shampoo as his bride!
He quickly embraced a stone statue, and was promptly smashed when the
supports gave away from under the statue. Then the trap-door opened
under Mousse and dumped him in a pool of cold water.
When a duck emerged from the trap, several cats were waiting for him.
With a frightened quack, Mousse fled with hungry cats nipping at his
tail.
*****
Akane was beyond angry. And had a heck of headache, thanks to the
oni.
When will it ever end for her? She had been kidnapped AGAIN. She was
getting tired of this, and wanted the insanity to end. But inside
her, she knew that things would NEVER return to normal again.
At least the oni who had kidnapped her was somewhat cooperative. When
the smoke enveloped around her, she had screamed instinctively and
slapped her arms around in defense. She unexpectedly hit something
solid, and she immediately realized that whatever this monster was,
no way it would take her so easily! She brought out her mallet and
impaled the solid surface until she was knocked away by some sort of
magic and fell on her butt. The cloud then made some sort of apology
when it realized that it had captured wrong person and quickly
dissipated to avoid Akane's reaction, but not before rendering her
somber.
It seemd to her that sobering up was more of an act of revenge rather
than apology. Akane winced as she massaged her head. She would need
couple of aspirns to kill her massive headache.
Ever since then, she had been walking around, trying to find a way
out of the scary place. Where was Ranma when she needed him? She
didn't feel comfortable being alone in a house like the one she was
in, not to mention the numerous traps that were everywhere.
She heard crashing sounds, "Ranma? Is that you?"
Akane was startled when Ranma slammed into her, and both of them
tumbled to the ground, breath knocked out of them.
"Cats! They're everywhere!" Ranma screamed as she tried to get
herself off Akane, but the girl refused to release her.
"Calm down, Ranma! There's no cats around here!" Akane hugged Ranma
tightly, reassuring her with her voice. "Come on, wake up... It's
okay, I'm here." On impulse, Akane kissed Ranma's forehead and
blushed slightly.
It seemed to snap Ranma out of her state, "Huh? What's going on?"
"You went into neko-mode again. Don't worry, there's no cats around
here now."
"Oh..." It didn't escape Ranma's mind that she was alone with Akane
and nobody was nearby
They remained that way in silence, and Ranma tried to sort out his
feelings. "Akane...?
"Yes?"
"I... I wish that you didn't have smaller blouse than mine! I mean,
my breasts are HURTING!"
Akane blinked in shock, then anger erupted. "How DARE you--!"
Akane raised her hand and was about to slap Ranma for his insult when
a girl with long green hair, wearing two-piece tiger-skin suit slowly
appeared out of the ground. The girl regarded the girls curiously,
"Hey, wouldn't you two happen to have seen Ataru, would you?"
The girls shook their head dumbly, and Lum sighed. Why did Ataru have
to be so... lecherous? She thanked them and flew to the next floor
and vanished, leaving Ranma and Akane staring at the ceiling.
Ranma blinked and turned to Akane who still had her arm raised in
preparation for slapping. He suppressed her feelings, not wanting to
deal with them at this moment. Ranma extended her hand, slightly
relieved that the moment had been spoiled. "Come on, let's get out of
here, Akane."
Akane nodded and clasped Ranma's hand with hers, sending a tingling
feeling through her body which dissolved any anger she had left, and
surprisingly her headache as well. "Arigato."
They were about to start moving when two boys wearing sailor fuku
passed by them. Ranma blinked at them and shook her head in wonder.
"I'll tell you this, Akane-- I'm glad that we don't celebrate
Halloween much here. It's freaking weird."
*****
"BOOO!"
"Um, do you know the way out of here?"
"AAAAHHHHH! A MONSTER!"
Ryoga scratched his head as a ghost flew away in terror. As he walked
deeper down the hallway, he did not notice the floor give away under
him.
He did not hear Shampoo's anguished cry, "Ayiaa! Why pig-boy step in
Akane trap?!"
*****
"Growf?" A panda observed a rather small doorframe, trying to figure
out how in the world was he going to fit through the frame. He
pressed once. He was too big, so he tried wriggling his body.
No such luck. Repeated attempts got him only halfway through the
frame, so he decided to retreat and find another way around. After a
moment of shuffling around, he realized that he was stuck.
"Growf! "
"Ooh, how KAWAII!"
The panda's ears perked at the sound of the voice and he began to
tremble with fear. All of the sudden, he wished that he was
somewhere, and began wiggling frantically to escape from his
predicament, but the thick oak wood refused to budge. Surely, it
can't be her! NOOO!
Azusa Shiratori skated down the hallway with her arms wide open in
her punk bunny costume, beaming brightly despite cobwebs that covered
her hair. "Tousie! How kawaii!! Tousie!"
"GROWF!"
*****
"Hey, there's Ranma and Akane!" Everybody cheered as Ranma climbed
out of the hole in the room with Akane clutching at his back.
Most of the guests had dispersed immediately when Akane and Ranma had
vanished, not wanting to be around if same thing would happen to
them. But a considerable number had remained behind to search for
Ranma and Akane, as well as three others who had vanished. They did
not expect to face numerous traps throughout the house, which impeded
with their progress until decided to retreat and leave Ranma and
others to their fate.
There was a thunderous applause when they realized that Ranma and
Akane had been disguised as each other, and their subjects blushed
furiously. Ranma was about to protest when he heard evil laughter
behind him.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHA! I'VE GOT YOU, SAOTOME!"
Ranma pivoted around immediately and recognized the smoke as the one
that had kidnapped Akane earlier. She stepped in front of Akane, she
would be damned if she would allow Akane to harm.
"Leave, you vile-mouthed ravenous demon!"
Ranma blinked in surprise; where DID Kuno come from? He had no time
to ponder that as Kuno launched a fierce attack on the cloud. He
stabbed his bokken rapidly at the smoke but he did not hit anything.
Instead, the smoke morphed into a fist and knocked Kuno into a LEO as
he continued to rant, "My dear pig-tailed girl and lovely Akane
Tendo, I shall protect you...!"
"What're you? A sort of a monster?!"
"BWAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm what others call a "DANGEROUS AND REALLY, REALLY
POWERFUL ONI", BUT YOU MAY CALL ME DRRPO FOR SHORT!! PREPARE TO
DIE!!" With that, the smoke surged forth to attack.
Akane blinked in surprise as Ranma swung around his fist... and
connected? The smoke dissipated to reveal a tiny yellow ball with
horns on its head and had a fist squarely in its face. Angry, the oni
dropped to the ground and roared, "YOU'VE SEEN THOUGH MY DISGUSE, MY
COMPLIENTS! BUT YOU WILL STILL DIE!!" The oni quickly brought up his
hands together and shot off an energy ball. Which dissipated quickly
into nothingness.
Everyone sweatdropped as DRRPO tried again to no avail. "HUH? THIS
CAN'T BE!" Three more energy blasts dissipated quickly. He began to
wail, "NOOOOO! MY POWER'S GONE! MY REPUTATION'S ALL RUINED!! NOW I'M
GONNA BE LAUGHINGSTOCK OF ONI PLANE! NOOOOOOO!"
Ranma did not reply as he drop-kicked DRRPO into orbit.
*****
"Stop groping at me, you perverts!" Ukyo cursed herself for wearing
the Playboy bunny suit as dozens of boys groped for her. She just HAD
to offer that stupid bet to Shampoo. The plan had been so simple for
her; catch her Ran-chan's attention with something flashy and
revealing (though she felt uncomfortable about wearing such suit),
and making sure that he didn't take eyes off her for few hours.
It didn't work out as well as she had expected, and she realized that
she had taken things too far.
Things she had to do to be Ranma's fiancÈe. She briefly wondered if
he was really worth all this embarrassment. Yes! He was, after all,
HER fiancÈe, not Akane's. Not even that hussy's! She would win in the
end, and be happily married to him.
But first, she had to get rid of the hentai first.
Her enormous spatula slammed into Hiroshi and Daisuke for the seventh
time as they tried to grope her again.
*****
"Hello, Mr. Lost-boy, do you need some help?"
Ryoga swiveled around to the voice, and his heart leapt with joy.
Finally, someone to help him out of this terrible place at last! But
there was nobody there.
"Hey!"
Ryoga glanced down and saw IT.
Chibi-Usa looked up and smiled at him.
Ryoga screamed in the basement.
*****
"SAOTOME, PREPARE TO DIE!"
Ranma sighed and turned around to face DRRPO for the fourth time.
Whatever this DRRPO was, he certainly was tenacious. Since the oni
was becoming a pest to him he was prepared to finish him off once and
for all when he saw something feline. It mewed. Ranma screamed in
horror and bolted.
The feline creature mewed, "Puu?"
DRRPO grinned evilly as he watched Ranma ran though the walls into
night in fear. Finally, he would be able to show off to his oni
fiends that he had defeated the infamous Ranma Saotome! He cackled
evilly, "MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"
A voice spoke behind the demon, startling him momentarily. It was
Nabiki grinning like a Cheshire cat. "You scared off Ranma, as I
promised. I would like the payment of 100,000 yen now."
DRRPO nodded and shook his hands with Nabiki, "I SHALL KEEP MY WORD.
HOW'D I MANAGE DEFEAT RANMA ANYWAY?"
"You didn't, Ranma ran off because of the cat but your oni fiends
won't know the difference. Though I'd recommend that you high-tail it
out of here before he goes into neko-form. It's no pretty sight."
"THANK YOU."
Nabiki grinned, "You're welcome."
After the oni vanished in a puff of smoke, she added as she watched
Ranma running around in fear and smashing through the walls of the
old building, "You're cleared this time, Ranma. But I won't be so
kind next time when I call your debt."
The building wouldn't last much longer, she figured.
*****
Things went out of control when the old building finally collapsed
under its own weight after having its walls punctured several times
by Ranma-onna as she tried to escape Shampoo's neko-form. The most of
visitors had fled the place long time ago when Pantyhose made his
appearance, and only more daring guests and idiots remained behind.
Pantyhose was last seen flying off after Happosai who had reportedly
left in haste to avoid a fat ghost who was begging for him to steal
her enormous brassieres so she could regain the feeling of womanhood
one last time before departing for heaven.
Incensed over Shampoo's actions to steal her Ran-chan, Ukyo decided
to sell Shampoo in her cat form to a witch that happened to fly by.
Hiroshi and Daisuke saw a sexy babe and left to purse her, drooling
all the way. Too bad they didn't recognize this wandering girl; if
they had they would have avoided multiple pain from Rogue.
Several Furinkian High School students thought it would be fun to
dress up as twelve-foot long dragon until they encountered four bald
men carrying sharp shears, and fled in terror.
Mousse kidnapped Nabiki, mistaking her for Shampoo, and ran off to
some obscure hotel as Nabiki screamed all the while. The next day,
Mousse decided to visit an optometrist.
Kasumi waved her doctor Tofu good-bye and giggled as his glasses
fogged up again. Unfortunately, he never saw the horde of zombies
that attacked him.
Ryoga Hibiki took a wrong turn out of his trap and ended up at a
graveyard somewhere at a Shinto shrine where a certain raven-haired
priestess attacked with anti-evil Shinto wards. "EVIL BE GONE!"
Kodachi remained unconscious, much to relief of everybody. Kuno
Tatewaki, on the other hand, earned a well-placed kick into the sky
from Akane when he tried proposing to her. Undaunted, he tried to
purse the pig-tailed girl, and when rejected, he determined that the
cause of their rejections must be the workings of magic cast by the
demon he had witnessed earlier. He left immediately in search for
Pantyhose.
Predictably, Miss Hinako became bloated from eating too much candy
and had to be hospitalized for sugar overdose.
Genma decided to buy one-way trip to Kyoto to flee a certain Azusa
who had elected to leave in favor of acquiring her latest pet panda.
Not wanting to stay and experience American-flavored horror any
longer, Akane hopped on a first-class flight on a Neko Airlines via
Ranma-neko to Tendo residence.
*****
Cologne shook her had sadly as she watched the dust settled on the
remains of the Haunted Nekohanten. "Another failure. That's it, no
more imitating the American holidays. No good will come out of
them..."
A couple of kids in Halloween costumes passed by Cologne and jerked
to stop.
"Hey, whatta costume!"
"I didn't know that ghouls actually existed!"
"Ugliest face I've ever seen..."
There were quick crashing sounds, and when the smoke settled there
were kids moaning and clutching their heads. "That should teach you
to respect the elders, snot-nosed punks." Cologne snorted as she
left.
*****
"Ranma?"
Akane sat quietly on the rooftop of Tendo home, not wanting to upset
Ranma. She could see Azusa dragging off Genma in his panda form
across the streets, crying out in glee, "Tousie, Tousie!" She figured
that Genma won't be returning for the rest of the night.
Not that she cared. She was more concerned about Ranma, who was
slowly recovering from his neko-mode. It usually took few minutes of
gentle reassuring and cuddling to snap him out of his fear.
"Ranma?"
Ranma stirred at the sweet sounding voice and opened his eyes.
Akane's gentle face smiled at him. God, he couldn't believe how cute
she was when she smiled like that. Then he realized that he was still
crouched on Akane's lap, so he shifted off as he apologized.
"That's all right. It happens all the time, and it sort of makes me
feel.... comfortable." Akane blushed slightly, then fell slightly.
"Um, about my bet... I'm sorry if I made you angry..."
Ranma shook his head, "No, it's okay. If you hadn't conned me into
this outfit, that idiotic oni wouldn't have mistaken you for me!"
Ranma chuckled.
"Raaanmaaa..." Akane growled, how dare he make fun of her!
Ranma sweatdropped, and tried to placate Akane, "Wait, what I mean is
that made things more exciting for us. I mean, Halloween's probably
boring day for everybody so I wanted to make things bit more fun for
us all. Oh yeah, a bit of risk makes things more exiting too. That's
just the way I like 'em."
Akane could feel anger fading slightly. While she was still bit angry
over being kidnapped, she had accepted it as being part of her daily
life. Danger had tendency to follow Ranma whenever he went. She had
realized that if she was going to remain with Ranma, she would have
to face them as well. She had come to anticipate being kidnapped as
well.
She really couldn't blame Ranma for all the troubles they've had
since his father brought Ranma to their house nearly a year ago.
Ranma and she got off to a rocky start, but she eventually fell in
love with him, despite his habit of insulting her. She knew that
Ranma loved her as well, but she would wait for him to admit. She
knew that they would eventually be married someday, but until then
she would be content to be with Ranma.
"Gee, why'd I have to be the one kidnapped? Next time, it's your turn
to be kidnapped, okay?" Akane rested her head on Ranma's shoulder and
sighed.
"Who'd want to kidnap you, hentai?" Ranma grinned at his girl.
"Tomboy!" Akane giggled.
Ranma replied, "Pervert!"
"Kawaiiune!"
"Baka!"
The catcalls continued for few moments before they broke down into a
giggling fit until they fell silent, staring at the skies.
Subconsciously, Akane edged closer to Ranma. Ranma did not miss
Akane's intentions, so he brought his arm around her and pulled her
closer to him, warming her body.
"I'm glad that we had fun today. We should do that again next
time..." Ranma stroked Akane's hair, cuddling her closer to his body.
Akane nodded in silence as she cuddled closer to Ranma's warm body,
ignoring the chilling winds. They embraced each other in silence as
they watched the stars twinkle, grasping their hands together.
*****
The boy with candles on his head muttered, "This didn't work out
well. Time to try another one... WIND, CRIMSON FLAME. COME TO MY HAND
AND GRANT ME THE POWER OF THUNDER!" A house exploded somewhere in
Nermia.
THE END
---
Author's notes:
This fanfic was the result of a challenge I made five days ago. I
challenged myself to write a Ranma-based Halloween fanfic for a
number of reasons. First of all, I wanted to write Ranma fanfics, but
didn't have any plot to write out (yet). Secondly, it's Halloween,
nuff said. Thirdly, it was my first attempt on comedy fanfic. I hope
you've laughed at least once, or found it amusing at least.
Honestly, I had surprised myself with this challenge by completing it
in such short notice, not to mention the size of it. I had originally
planned around 25K, but I ended up writing nearly twice as long. I'm
also debating whether to split this fanfic into two parts to make
things easier for readers who don't like long fanfics. I probably
won't. Oh well.
If you've managed to catch all of references to various anime series,
though not all of them are obscure, then I applaud you. A last count,
there are at least seven. I hope I've managed to incorporate the
general feeling of Ranma 1/2 into this fic.
If it seemed bit WAFFy in some parts, sorry. Also, the characters are
probably OOC, but then again, this is Halloween fanfic, and Halloween
is strictly American holiday, and is not celebrated in Japan (though
Halloween has been celebrated in certain anime shows), so I'm allowed
some liberties on this. Oh yeah, I'd like to thank Ryoohki and David
Siegel for their help on C&Cing my fanfic.
I had originally posted this fanfic on Halloween '98, but I revised
it and I'm posting the revised version for you to enjoy. This is now
the final version, so I'm posting this for everybody to enjoy. C&C
will be greatly appreciated, and flames will be used to burn my
homework.
Ranma 1/2 and its associated characters belongs to Rumiko Takasahi
and I do not own them.
. _____
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