[Ranma/Xover][FanFic] The Bet: Reluctant Bet segment 16 "Reluctant Amazon"
Gregg Sharp
Reluctant Bet segment 16: "Reluctant Amazon"
DISCLAIMER: Wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more!
some scenes by Skysaber and others by Sakura. THOSE char
used by permission.
------------
Goddess Relief Office, Yggdrasil Maintenence Section:
There are few things in the world that frighten system
administrators, particularly the ones that gravitate to the
top through application of skill and efficiency (read:
common sense). These are the people that have been through
hell and back fixing the problems that seem to plague the
even the most sophisticated of modern technology. The most
common of these problems include "I can't get the disk to
fit in the drive", "I spilt coffee over my keyboard", "I
can't find the 'any' key", "what's this thing do?", or even
"the computer just exploded and my desk's on fire, now
what?"
In all honesty, these are the same administrators that
haven't succumbed to the incessant whining and chaos that
surrounds the hopelessly inept, and this is why they manage
to climb up the corporate ladder. Going postal in the middle
of the job doesn't look very good on a resumé, however
justified it might seem at the moment.
Now, while minute problems like not being able to play
solitaire can be dealt with in a no-nonsense manner (ie.
applying all sorts of mental violence), there are the
occasions when recalling knowledge from long past is
actually necessary. For example, restructuring a network
from backup disks after someone puts a hammer to the
computer in hopes of finding that solitaire program. In
those cases some gratuitous physical violence is applied by
the administrator, but the backups are usually recent enough
that work can resume in a few hours (minus one employee,
however).
At the Goddess Relief Office, backups of the Yggdrasil
database are made all the time. They have to be; all the
rules of the Universe run through the buffer at one time or
another, processed and dutifully logged in the computer.
People's lives are literally on the line, and the slightest
alteration in the data could spell doom for the individual,
not to mention the entire timeline. One had to be very
careful when working with something as vast as the World
Computer. Especially as debugging the local program was done
with hammers.
While the people working at the GRO are much less inept
than the usual corporate building, there is still the need
for administrators. These individuals oversee that the
backup files match the ones in the database perfectly, and
make the necessary corrections should something be out of
place. Should Yggdrasil ever need to be restored from the
ground up, the backup files are loaded on the assumption
that the administrators have been doing their job.
"Who was it that screwed up what?" Mambo Jack, god of male
potency, and the most powerful member of the Rival Relief
Office (not saying much) would never get points for being
politically correct. Straight to the heart of the matter, no
frills or trying to protect fragile egos. Pairing him and
the emotional Kitchiri together was asking for trouble.
Amaterasu, on the other hand, was quite capable of throwing
a Solar Flare attack whenever Jack got TOO short with her.
At the moment she mainly ignored the Urban Legend.
"Celeste."
It isn't always the case that an administrator is the most
suited person for Yggdrasil backup analysis. It tends to
happen when jobs begin to get replaced by modern technology.
People once best at the latest field of work start all over
again when the paradigm shifts, and sometimes they can't
cope with the change. These people can hardly be blamed for
the pace of progress.
In this case, the current administrator WAS competent and
completely capable of completing her tasks. She was a minor
Goddess (few actually remembered of what), Second Class
Limited. Celeste, dressed in a pair of black trousers,
form-fitting t-shirt, and blue hakama, was tending to the
filing while listening to some Japanese group on her
Walkman. This wasn't an uncommon sight in Asgard, but
because she was the only goddess working at the GRO in
something approaching modern mortal apparel, it was a little
bit unnerving.
Anyway, there was a lot going on that could be blamed on
Celeste, and that was what Amaterasu intended to do. With
blunt objects, if necessary.
The goddess in question appeared with an audible pop,
noticed the group from the corner of her eye, and the looks
they were giving her. She paused in her task and lowered the
headphones. At a gesture from Amaterasu, she took a chair.
"What's wrong now?" Celeste sat down uncomfortably, not
particularly caring for Mambo Jack's crudeness nor
Amaterasu's tendency to overreact. Apollo was cute at least,
but she couldn't stand his attitude sometimes. "I didn't
forget some meeting, did I?"
"Celeste, do you remember WHY you were demoted from
'Network Admin 2nd Class Unlimited' to 'Backup Analyzer 2nd
Class Limited'?" Amaterasu toyed with her mirror.
"Of course! It's because the network connecting the office
with Yggdrasil's now automated," Celeste nodded, sending her
waist length hair cascading over the chair.
Mambo Jack snorted. "Right, squirt. What about that bit o'
problem ye had with the debugging routine?"
"Oh, THAT. Why WOULDN'T I think they were buggy?" she
blinked at them in askance. "They looked corrupted to me.
Two people are supposedly fated lovers because one of them
rips into the other verbally from ignorance and a poor
upbringing, and the other verbally and physically because
she's supposed to be worshipped or some such silly thing. Or
the ones where the two confess their love for each other and
instantly they both are mature and responsible adults. Come
on, that kind of abrupt personality shift doesn't look at
all natural. I DID leave the one where he proposes to
Belldandy alone, though."
That brought a smile to Amaterasu's face, quickly banished.
"Nonetheless," Amaterasu said in a warning tone, glaring at
both Celeste and Jack, "we have a bit of a problem here. Do
you recognize THIS timeline?"
Celeste peered at the one displayed on a monitor. "Oh yeah.
That's the one that's getting mucked up with as part of that
Grey fellow's Second Labour, isn't it? I took one look at
that file and saw Toltiir's pawprints all over it."
"And you saw some people who were blameless in the general
scheme of things and decided to try and 'set things right',
eh?" Jack snorted again.
Celeste, Goddess of J-pop, paused. "I'm in trouble again."
"Bingo, squirt!"
"Shut up, Jack." Two goddesses and a god chorused.
"Did ye notice that Starch is in a scene where she
shouldn't be?" Jack pointed the figure out. "She should
still be locked in that cave. Now she be wanderin' about."
"Oh dear," Celeste said, wincing.
----------------
Target Timeline:
"That was some potent stuff." Jared said, still wringing
water out of his clothes. Of course the stupid panda had
doubled back!
"I thought you'd seen it before?" Urd lifted an eyebrow.
"Yes, but now I have the magical senses to appreciate it."
The youth replied.
Belldandy just beamed as she put away her kettle of hot
water. Ranko soon finished dressing behind the screen Makoto
had been holding to shield her from her father and the
Guide's male gazes.
The Guide was drooling at the flash of ankle he'd seen.
"Ah, womans and sirs, I have been Guide now too long."
The expected criminal gleam came to Mr. Saotome's eyes that
spelled trouble. Jared was only one of three people to begin
casting a small spell, but he *was* the fastest. When Genma
leaned over to inquire as what the Guide might have in the
way of bridal gifts he and the Guide both were confronted by
a huge, demonic maw filled with fangs.
"Genma! If you engage her, you will die."
"That wasn't very nice, Jared." Belldandy softly reproved,
as the elder Saotome swiftly stuttered and paled after the
maw had abruptly vanished. The Guide's door had slammed shut
about the time the word 'engage' had come up, proving that
for a pudgy fellow the Jusenkyo Guide could still move
quickly when motivated.
"And let's see, your blasting him with lightning would have
been any nicer?" Urd peered over her sister's shoulder.
Belldandy pinked prettily.
"Yes, but you actually went ahead with your curse of
impotence." Belldandy muttered, and Urd just grinned.
Jared retired a short distance to a small patch of sand,
heated some and shaped the forming glass with his hands,
ignoring the searing heat, while the Guide and Genma argued
through a locked door. He carved labels onto the bottles
thus formed and dispatched Unseen Servants to gather samples
from each of the pools.
He could see which was which and didn't need the Guide to
tell him. "Bishojo Bride, check. Amazon Warrior, check. Man,
check. Girl, check. Sabre-toothed tiger, check. Tigger,
check..."
Urd came over to him. "That stuff's dangerous, you know."
The youth nodded. "Yes, but I need it to effect a cure.
Another Ranma told me the basics of how to cure it, but that
still leaves some research to be done. Considering how fast
this stuff went through a Water Protection spell, my cloak
which supposedly keeps me dry, *and* the fact that I well
knew what I was getting into and steered clear as much as
possible, this is potent stuff. I wouldn't mind knowing how
it did half of that, actually."
"Think I can think of a few uses, myself," said Urd with a
speculative gleam.
Makoto fingered the collar of the cloak that each of the
girls now wore, gazing with some trepidation at the distant
pools.
----------------
Nabiki happily hummed a tune (Bach's Little Fugue in G) as
she hung the wash.
Akane spared a glance for her weird older sisters before
concentrating on breaking another stack of bricks.
Kasumi finished praying and began the kata of the Tendo
Ryuu with a loose grasp on her naginata. Just the thing
before a long soak in the bath and fixing dinner.
Soun looked out at his three daughters and felt a certain
degree of contentedness with the world. Now if only Genma
would show up to honor the pledge between families!
-----------------
"Now sirs, we come to village of Amazon womans..."
"Growf!"
Jared tightened the length of chain used to suddenly hogtie
the panda. "No WAY 'pops'! First thing you're going to do is
bodyslam that feast and get us into trouble!"
The panda produced a sign. [Wouldn't dream of it!]
Jared looked at the other girls. "Did one of you teach him
that?" Unspoken was that the panda signs usually didn't
appear til much later in the series.
"I did!" Ranko hefted a hand, bouncing. "I had the idea and
when I told Papa-san he seemed **so** pleased!!"
Makoto giggled as Urd sourly batted away one of the
butterflies that, with the stars and flowers, went on
winking and flitting about Ranko.
"Right." Was all Jared could manage. ~Please please please
turn Grey back soon... If nothing else we may all get
diabetes from longterm exposure.~
Belldandy giggled and cocked her head toward the ongoing
amazon contest. "Shall we go?"
Suddenly Belldandy found that she was sharing shirt space
with one of the amazons, who'd shot forward and grabbed her
chest. "Ah! Such a delicious blossom. Come with me and
explore the pleasures of the fleaaaarggghhhhhhhh!!!"
Belldandy's hair was still floating from where she'd
wrapped herself in lightning. She looked mad. There were
some places only Keichi-sama was supposed to go.
Starch was making as quick a rebound as Happosai had ever
done. Fearing lest Belldandy should become exhausted (her
helpless and asleep anywhere in the same *hemisphere* as
that hentai was to be avoided), Jared tossed the end of the
chain to Ranko.
"Li... Makoto!"
"Gotcha!"
Both leapt into the air together, spinning back to back
they cried. "Tandem Attack!!"
"Seeker!" Makoto fired off the homing chi projectile she'd
learned from Jared.
"Meteor Kick!" Jared shouted, being flung by Makoto toward
their foe.
Starch had automatically adapted her aura to dampen the chi
attack, but her dodge of the kick was too slow and she got
flung away as the ground cratered where she'd been.
Jared bounced up out of the hole, cupping both hands.
"Fireball!"
"Supreme Thunder Dragon!!" Makoto cried from the sky.
As Starch dodged, Jared crossed arms and shouted out.
"Prismatic Sphere!" Then addressed the girls now inside.
"You stay here. The sphere is easy to exit but next to
impossible to enter and bad things happen if you try. You'll
be safe here." Leaving friends and allies thus defended the
redhead leapt out to do battle.
The wicked Starch was already having enough troubles
fleeing from the flying Makoto, and yet Jared decided to add
to her misery.
"Mercury Bubbles, Blast!" Being able to see magic and how
it was woven, plus repeated exposure to the Sailor Scouts
had reaped a few benefits. Such as spells that emulated the
effects of the Scout attacks.
Instantly the floor of the valley was clouded and only the
redhead and her allies (not including Genma) could see.
Jared again jumped into the air, this time going into Mina's
windup.
"Venus Meteor Beam Shower! Ooops! Terminate!" Unable to
stop the directive of the completed blast, the redhead
instead deflected it to the side, where it impacted with a
dozen craters.
Jared landed next to Makoto, saying sourly. "You could have
saved me some, you know."
Makoto hefted the battered and unconscious Starch by the
back of her ragged shirt and smiled. "You snooze, you lose.
I got to her first."
Jared crossed her arms under her own disturbingly ample
chest. "Yeah, well protecting our allies isn't exactly a
waste of time."
The fog cleared.
Standing behind them was the radiant sphere of multicolored
light defending their own party, safely undisturbed. In
front, the town was a wreck, having been hit by rogue
fireballs, impacted by beams from the Silver Millenium
attack and roasted by the odd chi bolt or blast.
Amazons stood around their challenge post while the village
burned. Off to the side, a panda had gotten free and, having
finished one half of the feast, was devouring the other,
oblivious to all that had gone on aside from its own hunger.
Jared stood with eyes closed and fists clenched at her
side, trembling. Her eyes caught a glimpse of Shampoo,
knocked flat and unconscious from debris kicked up by her
Meteor Beam Shower. And Azure. And Sugar. And Tigar. And a
few others he didn't recognize. Jared sighed as Belldandy
brought out the thermos and restored his gender again.
Ranko came running up. "Ooh! Big brother, papa said he had
to go to the bathroom, and he looked so uncomfortable I just
*had* to let him go! Do you think its dinner time? Is that
why these new friends invited us to their feast?"
Starch reached up a trembling hand in an attempt to grope
Makoto's bosom, but got tossed down and stomped on for her
trouble.
----------
Goddess Relief Office:
Celeste was still trying to bump the timeline back into
shape, following some scribbled notes. Obviously even these
were incomplete as being engaged to the Urd and Belldandy
lookalikes and a little sister weren't covered. How could
she have missed this much?
The display of the terminal she was working at began to
change.
Existence of little sister, Ranko Saotome: Backtracked,
added. Locked and running.
Ranko Saotome, age 14. Illegitimate daughter of Genma
Saotome and the succubus Fleish.
Specializes in her stepmother's school of kendo, attacks
of overwhelming cute. Skills in construction, repair,
cooking, music, and art. Fairly ditzy. Strength level in 1
ton range. Able to fly (top speed 45mph) and see spirits.
Existence of fiancee, esper Belldandy: Backtracked, added.
Locked and running.
Belldandy, esper, age 16. Specializes in healing, energy
manipulation, and teleportation.
Somewhat ditzy. Has quality of inner peace, tendency to
mesmerize others through this. Skills in cooking,
traditional arts, sewing, domestic chores. Able to converse
with birds and small wildlife.
Existence of fiancee, alchemist Urd: Backtracked, added.
Locked and running.
Urd, age 17. Alchemist.
Somewhat naughty and playful. Tendency to act without
considering consequences of actions or attempting to weigh
efficiencies of difference courses of action. Ability to
sense spirits, evil, and supernatural influences.
Existence of fiancee, Makoto Jupiter: Backtracked, added.
Locked and running.
Makoto Jupiter, age 15. Esper/martial artist. Sailorjin.
Exhibits Sailorjin eagerness for a good brawl, also a
good cook and somewhat boy crazy. High level chi based
combatant. Strength level in 3 ton range when not powered
up, increasing to 25 tons when in Sailorjin form. Unable to
access Sailorjin II or III at present. Top flying speed in
normal mode 75mph. Top flying speed in Sailorjin form
750mph. Chi attacks include: Kamehameha, Sparkling Wide
Pressure, Wolf Raging Piledriver, Power Of The Wolf, Supreme
Thunder, Supreme Thunder Dragon, Dragon Storm, and Armor
Piercer. Power rating: 570, 1550 in Sailorjin mode.
Existence of fiancee, Shan: Backtracked, added. Locked and
running.
Shan, functional age 16. Ifurita class cyborg.
Ability to fly and discharge energy blasts. Can learn new
attacks/defenses/techniques if they are performed in her
presence (75%) or directed at her (97%). Can upgrade
operational parameters through experience. Strength level 50
tons. Top flying speed 1250 mph with Powerkey staff, 512 mph
without.
Celeste typed a query as to current curses and checked her
notes to see how they matched.
Multiple fiancees/romantic subplots: Jared/Ranma - check.
Multiple fiances/romantic subplots: Ranko - check.
Jared/Ranma - Jusenkyo curse - girl.
Ranko - Jusenkyo curse - bishojo bride. Current conflict
with existing curse resulting in mindset of roughly half
physical age.
Genma - Jusenkyo curse - panda.
Genma - Curse Of Sin (Happosai disciple) - Gluttony, Greed.
Soun - Curse Of Sin (Happosai disciple) - Greed,
Instability.
Ryoga - Wanderer curse (hereditary from Gilgamesh avatar)
Celeste frowned, certain she was missing something.
----------------
Amazon village Nichieju:
Cologne looked up at the Starch de Milo, the statue of the
amazon... *former* amazon who'd been cleaned up, tidied and
posed, then turned to stone before she'd got her wits about
her.
Jared had wanted to break her arms off but Belldandy
wouldn't let him.
The matriarch paused to gaze about her village. Instead of
squat huts, lovingly but plainly made, they now had row upon
row of neat stone houses with pretty lapis lazuli tile
roofs. The road she stood upon was paved with alabaster down
the center and had lush grass on either side. Trees grew in
profusion and what wasn't white with polished stone was
green and gorgeous with living things. Her eyes passed by
the gardens of fruit trees and berry bushes, watered by
springs that hadn't been there yesterday.
Also, from the outside of their new city wall it all looked
like a scarcely inhabitable spot of some of the most useless
and unlovely land imaginable. An illusion, she was sure.
She strode over to where her future son-in-law stood.
Jared shrugged as he played with an amethyst watering
trough. "Alabaster is just a form of gypsum, the same stuff
used to make concrete and plaster, it's not any great deal
to give it a tighter grain and make it pretty. Also this
amethyst is just a type of quartz, and quartz is
just a way to form sand. It ain't hard to make it right."
Belldandy giggled as she swung in a tiny rose swing whose
ropes were twinned about with flowered vines.
Makoto ate ice cream while seated on a handy wall, leaning
back against the house. The amazons were crowding the ground
too closely to get a comfortable seat down there. Besides,
the height advantage was just as well. She smiled. Three to
six foot thick alabaster walls with clear quartz window
panes four to six inches thick, ceilings arched, buttressed
and reinforced a dozen ways and *also* pretty...
She was wondering if she could get him to fight her now.
Urd was sunning herself on a massive slab of rose quartz
that'd been set out for a stage or performance area, but
would probably be used for a market. Her slitted eyes
examined the arching statues done in greek style of flawless
marble.
The outer wall, enclosing both their farms and homes with
significant room to expand, was also a perfect circle, and
enchanted as a protective barrier stopping anything from
artillery and bombs over to undead and hostile spells.
~For a mortal he's not got bad taste. Definitely award him
points for style.~
"Anyway," Jared went on to his audience. "I've made three
times as many houses as you need, which should serve you for
a couple o' generations. Then you can build more of your
own. All you *really* need is facing stone, and I've set an
earth elemental to converting a few
hillsides around here to the kinds of rock you'll need.
He'll also disguise them well, so no prospectors are going
to stumble across them if you keep your quarries buried when
you aren't using them. The sewer and plumbing system should
be self-perpetuating and I've tossed in some grass and root
plants that will filter it and carry the nutrients out to
your crops." He stood up and wiped a lock of hair out of his
eyes.
"Let's see, we've got the catacombs laid in for the really
secure storage and a shelter if you need it. Everything's
lighted with quartz veins, so even the underground gets
natural sunlight by day and moonlight at night. We've got
wards in place against vampires, undead, werewolves and all
that drek. I've made extra copies of all your books,
restored some illegible ones, and stocked the rest of the
new library with a few things. There's wood trees for
furniture, food trees and crops. The grass that grows in
town has a scent that drives off bugs and the homes and
gardens are rodent-proof. We've got bat-houses under each
bridge that
spans your moat, so flying insects *aren't* going to be a
problem, but neither will vampires as the moat is *running*
water, with extra wards just in case."
He shrugged.
"So that leaves everything, I think. 'Cept for outsiders
finding this place and geting possessive. I'll leave a
permanent Misdirection spell outside those walls, effecting
anyone who wasn't born here. Then I'll back that up with a
special Forget curse that'll work on anyone who
tries to enrich themselves at the cost of you guys. If you
stay as isolationist as you've been that'll probably be
enough, but if not I'll leave you a few golems to guard the
gates. But I REALLY recommend you never tell people what
you've got here, as that would kill the whole
point. Ready to stand against a few hundred thousand Red
Army men you ain't."
Cologne looked at her fellow elders of the tribe, all
restored to childbearing age of about their late teens,
though none as buxom as *her* of course. Her pretty lips
formed a grin and she idly stroked her newly restored long
blue hair in thought.
While she stood there considering a panda crept out the
other way, a load of roof tiles tucked under one arm and an
amber bowl filled with alabaster chunks in his other. Ranko
followed him with a small yet bulging sack, out of which
poked a foot high sapphire statuette depicting Shampoo.
"But papa, *why* wouldn't they want us to say goodbye once
they gave us all these pretty things?"
Shan gently tapped Genma to get his attention. She used her
Powerkey Staff and applied it to the back of his head.
"Ranko Ranko Ranko..."
Ranko looked stricken. "You mean I'm doing bad?"
"You KNOW your father shouldn't be trusted," gently chided
the floating Amazon.
"But... he's still my papa..."
Muttering something under her breath about method actors,
Shan forced herself to remain calm. "Your papa needs to be
kept in line. Remember, Ranko, in some ways he's even more a
child than you are."
"HEY!" Genma protested from the ground.
"More immature, less prone to planning ahead."
"Hey!"
"Look, a thief!" *WHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAM WHAMMITY WHAM!*
"For example: yelling when he's trying to sneak away with a
packful of goods. Give the stuff back to the nice Amazons
dear."
-----------------
Mousse wandered around town, gazing from left to right and
grinning like a maniac.
He could see.
Over there was Dowel, the gentle-hearted amazon formerly so
masculine that she'd had to shave (a deep shame one never
mentioned near her), and the Mage had used some spell that
had sculpted the Amazon as aesthetically as the real
sculptures.
While still large, she was a tall and regal beauty able to
look a man in the eye (though for most men that would
require a stepladder). That is if he could raise his gaze
from her curves. Mousse experienced a short flush before he
forced his gaze on. Dowel was taking lessons from other
Amazons on how to control and direct her jiggle to maximum
effect. That wasn't the sort of thing he'd known they'd
taken lessons on.
Over there was Hook, now cooking for her children with two
good hands, even the long worn and scratched pottery she'd
once baked in now replaced by fine metal and china, a set of
bright copper pans hanging from her wall. The Mage knew how
to harden copper til even the best metal
file couldn't touch it - or so he'd told them.
They had no reason to disbelieve it. Water now sprang from
formerly dry ground, orchards of trees had grown in an
hour's time, these wonderful buildings, and there was
another amazon cured of another lifelong injury. Patch now
had two good eyes. Her child Dawn was running and at play
with other children, her lifelong disease forgotten.
Mousse's newly restored vision caught yet *another* amazon
jiggling as she put out her wash. Ointment had been passed
out that had sloughed off scars, old injuries were
corrected, the sick and infirm made whole, and smiles lit
more faces than ever before.
And for the first time in his life Mousse realized that his
native village was *FULL* of beautiful women!
He was close to having a hormone overload and dying of
terminal nosebleed.
------------
Azure looked at the room in awe. Hung from every peg were
items of wonder, musical instruments of every shape and
order, enough to fill the entire town with wonderous noise.
She crossed to an unfamiliar stringed instrument and picked
it up. As she did so the peg from which it had hung came
alight and a little figure of a man appeared and bowed, a
copy of the instrument in his hands.
"Hello, the spike fiddle has been chosen. Please say 'yes'
if you need instruction."
"Yes!" The bright and eager amazon chirped.
-------------
"Actually, as much free time as this'll give you, you'll
have your hands full learning to duplicate it. The details
on the construction methods and how to use everything I've
left you won't be learned overnight, and if it doesn't
happen then this place will eventually degrade to ruin. Not
that it'll happen *quickly*, I used Mayan building
techniques so it's so earthquake-proof that it makes all
Japan look like a house of cards with a lit match in every
corner, and even if somehow jungle were to overgrow the
buildings they'd stay intact. No, the big thing is that you
can modify this and expand as you need. Otherwise it'll lead
to fights over who gets the good buildings when there aren't
enough to go around, and the gardens and things will easily
overgrow if you don't maintain them."
"Excuse me, Honored One." One of the formerly grizzled
elders interrupted, sending a deliberate playful bounce his
way just for fun as she toyed with the ends of her pink
hair. "But what does it matter? You speak of later
generations. Is there not ample time enough for you to teach
as they grow?"
~Preferrably in us?~ She didn't add.
Not mentioned was the fact that *every* effort was being
made befriending those women he'd brought with him. They
didn't need rivalries causing trouble at a time like this.
Though from early reports some of those women would
obviously be teaching them as well.
Two other of the village's best ceased subtly emphasising
their assets to agree with both the spoken and unspoken
sentiments. This was PRIME MALE! There was also the fact
that whoever's house *caught* the man would most likely lead
the village for a long, LONG time to come.
The young man sweated. "Uh, didn't I mention that? I have
to leave." Jared caught the look passing from young Cologne
to Shampoo, from Shampoo to Potion, from Potion to Lotion,
from Lotion to Lilac, from Lilac to Sugar, from Sugar to Ti
Ga. ~Oh dear. Maybe I overdid it?~
"Oh, big brother!" Ranko came swooping up like some overly
buxom hummingbird. "Some of the other Amazons are playing a
game with papa-san!"
"Oh dear, I think I need to go investigate this. Excuse
me!" Jared smiled and tried to figure out what had gone
wrong. He'd saw that one of the houses was looking a little
ratty while checking on the fallen Amazons. Then one thing
had led to another and another. He caught a glimpse of the
fountain and winced. ~Okay, maybe I *did* go a bit
overboard.~
"Shampoo," said Cologne to her slightly shorter great
granddaughter, her gaze firmly fixed on the retreating Mage.
"Yes, Gre-- it feels funny calling someone one year older
than me 'Great Grandmother.'"
"If *you* don't give him the Kiss Of Marriage, I will."
Shampoo considered this briefly.
"No, gee, I suddenly feel the need to go test my battle
skills." Sugar loosened her two handed sword in its
scabbard. "Though, uhm, after I got hit in the head during
the Tournament, I'm feeling a little dizzy. Hope it doesn't
affect my combat abilities!"
"Reminds me a bit of..."
"Your Douglas, we KNOW, we KNOW." Everyone groaned at Lilac
for saying the most obvious thing.
"At least NOW I begin to understand how you could have lost
to a plumber," Bei Wing said, a sultry smile showing as she
regarded the almost-out-of-sight male.
Another shared look among the Amazons before they split up
and went in seperate directions to "accidently" meet up with
the Mage again.
Ti Ga, aka Tigar or Tiger, merely frowned for a moment
before slapping a fist into her open palm. She was the best
tracker of the Nichieju, she could track him down even if he
did that teleport thingie, so then she could challenge and
be defeated by him. Then, as the Mage stated he had to be
leaving the village, she could accompany her fiancee (she
was too young for the Kiss Of Marriage) to outside the
village!
Sashu, sometimes known as Sash, had similar plans. She'd
been knocked down by the Mage's attack earlier, and now all
that was needed was a quick kiss. Then she could accompany
her husband to JAPAN! Mecca of all otaku! She could watch
the newest series, read the latest manga, and happily
ensonce herself at the closest "Manga No Mori" or "Animart"
for DAYS! Ooooh, and maybe he did COSPLAY!
Two dozen Amazons fanned out, their motivations ranging
from Anice's "he's got a cute butt" to Yao Ming's admiration
of his chi control. Their target however, was all the same,
the capture of a certain Mage's lips.
-----------------
Jared was following after the fluttering Ranko when he
noted that the crops he'd grown had reached the point of
harvest. It would only take a second. Did he have one? The
thought came of the Amazons at 'play' with the panda came.
~Worst case scenario = they are burning him at the stake.
Therefore, I have a minute.~
"Hang on a minute, Ranko. It's over in that plaza? I'll
meet you there. Have fun, okay?" He turned his back and took
out a golden sickle.
"Sickle
be not fickle
But be ready to work the day.
Crops be weary
of the dreary
burden of their fruit and hay.
Gather swiftly
going quickly
harvest all that's growing ripe
sparing only
plants not homely
of the perrenial stem and type."
Urd was standing near. "You DO know that's a magic sickle?
It would have worked just as well if you'd said 'gather the
food' or something."
Jared smiled, watching the magical instrument fly off to
work. "I know that. But this way had more class." He slipped
out of his pouch a pair of sturdy gloves and held them up,
speaking to them.
"Workman's Gloves
a workman loves
a task he knows is fit to do.
Labor long
and do no wrong
for I've a precious task for you.
Field and forest
green and glorious
spawn a harvest fresh and bright
store it safely
or I'll rate thee
if it's deep and done quite right."
The gloves sped off and blurred, becoming fifty, then a
hundred, then five hundred pairs and carrying load after
load of freshly harvested wheat and berries, fruit and nuts
to the storage areas of the catacombs.
Jared frowned. "That's not very efficient. Carrying by
handful they'll *never* keep up with the rate of the sickle.
Hmm, I'll have to fix that." Out of a pouch he then produced
a pair of knitting needles.
Urd rolled back into a lounging position on the grass.
"Here we go again." She noted an audience begin to arrive as
Jared addressed his tools.
"Now you snicker
but for wicker
is the reason you're called this day.
Baskets ready
large and steady
for the workmen on their way.
While you're at it
home and attic
Need a yard of cloth or two
towel an' curtain
linen certain
fit for warding off the flu."
"Oh Jared," Urd called, cupped her hands to her mouth. "Are
they just going to pile that fruit on the floor then?" She
rolled back snickering as he frowned in thought.
"No, they shouldn't. I'll go down later and create
granaries, but for now... Ah! The very thing. They can even
use them later for other purposes." This time he pulled a
trowel out from his pouch.
Then he saw his audience. Some of whom, he noted in an idle
corner of his mind, were breaking out and running towards
the plaza.
"Um, Trowel? Make some food pots. About yeah big." He
indicated with his hands.
This set Urd off howling, kicking her heels in mirth.
--------------
"Yes ma'am, right here," Genma slapped the side of the
table. "Get engaged to my son, cheap at this price! I'm
doing a public service here, just THINK of the skills he's
demonstrated, just think of the skills he's got that are NOT
for public demonstration. Just think of the strength and
endurance he's displayed. Yes, maam, that'll do. Just sign
your name here."
"uhm. Papa-san? Should you be doing this?"
"As a special bonus, make my daughter a member of your
tribe and your sons could have winged babies..."
*WHOP!*
"Papa-san! How could you!"
"I'll take her!" A man who was fat in the manner of a pile
of wet rags handed Genma some money, reaching out to take a
bill of sale with the other hand.
*WHAM!*
Ranko held the uppercut pose for a moment before rubbing
her fist and eeeping.
Lilac pursed her lips. "How far?"
A tape measure was used. "Six yards!"
Lilac considered the massive form of Lard, the diminutive
form of Ranko and the distance. "She's worthy."
Ranko blinked. "Excuse me?!"
Lilac winked at the young girl. "You obviously have little
martial arts training, but you managed to knock Lard six
yards and he weighs three hundred pounds. With this as your
father, you are obviously an abused child. You'll notice
that your father took the money? Therefore, for your own
safety, we shall adopt you as an Amazon."
"Oh," said Ranko. "What about my brother?"
"He's male so it's a bit more difficult, all that's really
required now that he's defeated a few Amazons and others
have been sold his engagement, is that he receive the Kiss
Of Marriage. THEN he can be an Amazon."
"Oh," repeated Ranko, quite obviously not understanding.
"Is this a good thing?"
"Well *I* think so," said Lilac quite honestly.
"Uhm, any more buyers?" Genma asked.
"No, in fact, I think your punishment for abusing an
innocent young girl should be decided."
"Punishment?!" Genma had forgotten about that.
"Let's have a vote!" Lilac called to the crowd. "Don't
forget you can vote too, Ranko. We'll have the big party and
ceremony welcoming you to the tribe later. All those for tar
and feathers..."
--------------
Makoto lost her patience. "OK, you! You've been owing me a
fight long enough!"
"Huh?!" Jared said intelligently as he finished enscribing
a set of runes across the lip of a fountain. "But I..."
"Enough!" Makoto shot twenty five feet into the air. "If
you've got time for this, you've got time for fighting me!"
Jared sighed. "Okay, okay. Geez. You Sailorjin, you'd think
you valued fighting like..." Jared stopped, realizing he did
*not* want to go there. He quickly levitated and the fight
was on.
Paying absolutely no attention to the fight, a little black
cat wandered up to the fountain.
"What do we have here? 'Fountain of Eternally Fresh Water'?
BORING! Hmmm. 'Eien No Mamizu' what could I do with...
'Eigo'? 'Eibun'? 'Aibu'? 'Aijo'? Hmmm. 'No Mamizu'...
'Nomimono'? 'Mayaku'? I've got it! 'Ai No Maryoku'!"
Urd cleared her throat. "Slumming, Elder?"
"I was just keeping an eye on Grey when all this magic
being thrown about caught my attention. Hello, Urd, you're
looking mortal. Belldandy."
"What are you up to?"
"Well, since Mage-boy over there wants class...
"Magic fountain in the square,
Halfway done you're standing there,
Jusendo's waters emerging here,
Into basin crystal clear,
Alteration magic shifting,
The years to be lifting,
All who bathe within the surge,
An adolescent will emerge."
Urd held up a "3.0" while Belldandy merely looked puzzled.
"Everyone's a critic. But a Fountain of Youth would be so
cliche! Hence a 'Fountain of Adolescence' .Hmm. I know. A
fountain of CUTE! That hasn't been done!" Toltiir started
looking around. "Or alter one so that it is sort of a
Tereisias thing. That one looks like it's perfect!"
"We'll leave town soon, Urd?"
"Not fast enough to suit me, Bell!"
---------------
Jared and Makoto faced each other in the air over a crowd
of exultant Amazons.
The same thought was running through a number of heads
simultaneously. He was *THAT* good in battle!?!??
Jared just crept up a few notches in the 'quality husband'
material department. From "Legendary. Not likely to be seen
again in another three thousand years" all the way up to
"Epic Making. Our own granddaughters will only remember our
names if we marry him."
The two flying fighters coasted to a stop facing each
other.
"No clever lines?" Makoto asked and licked her lips. "Well,
go on then. Defeat me and let's start kissing."
He looked shocked. "Is *THAT* what this is about?? Look,
Shan is a special case. Her twin sister asserts that it's
just a programming error, a glitch. We'd never engaged in a
formal Marriage Duel, just sparring."
"Well," Makoto shot back. "Then guess what *this* is!" She
shot a bolt at him that bulged and strained his retainment
field, shredding it.
Jared's face went cold. "Very well. If *that's* what this
is to be, then SO BE IT!" He spun to higher altitude and
assumed a pose she'd never seen before, producing a net and
shouting.
"Empty-Head school of Self Defeat! Final Technique; It's
not over til it's over!"
Then he attempted to throw the net at her, ended up
catching his ankle in it from behind and awkwardly wrapping
himself firmly in the chain links as he tried to complete
the throw, swiftly plummetting out of the sky and going
splash in a pool. As he was already a teenager, it didn't
have much effect other than triggering the Jusenkyo curse.
Belldandy, Ranko, and two Amazons rushed over, pulling the
firmly tied up and thoroughly unconscious Mage out because
they were concerned she might drown.
Cologne's eyes were wide.
Lilac shook her head and whispered to Sugar. "This is not
going to be easy. He's invented a whole school of martial
arts just to avoid winning any Amazon marriage duels."
Beside her, Bei Wing nodded gravely. "For an Amazon to
capture him, she'd have to defeat herself even faster than
he could."
"And HE did it in one blow, too." Azure finished,
unconcerned. SHE had already been defeated by him. All she
had to do was deliver the Kiss Of Marriage! Hmmm. This might
be a good time!
Oddly enough, Jared recovered before Azure could initiate
lip lock. That she got into a fight with Sashu probably
helped.
Cologne smiled admiringly. "Hmmm. He's clever too." She
raised her voice to address the whole assemblage. "I hereby
declare that as his skill and raw power level are sufficient
to level the village, that Jared Saotome has defeated the
entire village. However, as we *do* have to give the poor
boy a sporting chance, no Kiss Of Marriage is to be given
within city limits."
Jared flinched. There was a ragged cheer from roughly forty
Amazons. Jared flinched some more.
--------------
Eros was a man with a mission. Errr, a god with a complex.
Uhm, a deity with a great deal of stubborness?
The mission, a matter of personal pride now, had run into a
teeny tiny snag.
One, the person Grey no longer existed AS Grey at the
moment. Instead HE was a perky fourteen year old mainly
amnesiac girl with no sexual interest and quite a bit of the
old personality, plus most of the skills developed through a
fairly chaotic mortal life and the completely insane time
after that life.
Two, there seemed to be interference from SOMETHING that
was causing his attempts to hit anyone in Grey's area to go
awry. Eros had immediately suspected the Binding, but now
wasn't so sure. He wasn't sure about the Binding at all, in
fact, as it seemed to be malfunctioning - or Grey would've
returned to male by now.
There were unknown variables running amok here, and Eros
wasn't sure of many things - but he didn't want to be around
when the natural fertilizer hit the high speed rotors.
He pulled back the bow, sighting along an arrow. Urd and
Belldandy. Not the goddesses but very close. The two walking
along unconcerned, while a giggling Ranko ran orbits around
them as they sought to rejoin the Mage that'd been flying
around. It wasn't perfect, perhaps, but it was a plan.
Belldandy had to get over that she wouldn't have Keiichi.
Grey needed someone he could trust. Belldandy kept promises.
Grey had ever been the keeper of promises and slave of duty.
One arrow for Belldandy, one for Urd. They knew that under
that giggling teenage girl facade was a guy, and his soul
was still male-oriented. Belldandy the trustworthy nurturer
who could heal the scars on a young man's soul. Urd the sort
who would turn Genma into a foul little worm the moment
Genma tried something else with HER sweetie.
Eros loosed his first arrow, then was drawing and releasing
the second arrow before the first had gotten more than two
arrowlengths from his bow. They hit the intended targets,
causing Eros to smile in triumph.
Only to stop smiling as the Pheonix Mage ran up to ruffle
his little sister's hair and leave a message as to where
he'd be for the next half hour. Mainly running from Amazons.
Belldandy and Urd watched him go with gazes that bespoke a
desire for more than making sure that Jared Saotome didn't
trip.
Eros flung his bow down, grumbled, got a cup of spring
water and three Tylenol, and thought some very unpleasant
things about Chance and Luck.
Then he noticed his bow and arrows had been stolen and he
said some VERY uncomplimentary things about Chance and Luck.
---------------
Shampoo had recognized the figure on the roof. As a younger
girl, she had found the statues of the Greek gods
fascinating for their, er, artistic value. So, when he
turned his back, those arrows and that bow had proven
irresistable.
Shampoo drew a bead on the Pheonix Mage when she heard a
familiar voice. WAY too familiar.
"SHAMPOO! I LOVE YOU, SHAMPOO!"
Ever since his blindness had been cured, Mousse had been
glomping onto her without the usual period of waiting in
between.
Jumping up, she shot Mousse in the back and HID!
"Shampoo! Ow! I..."
Shampoo smiled. With any luck, SHE no longer had an
annoying Mousse trying to learn her measurements by feel!
Then she could try an arrow on her preferred target, then
(once she'd procured a husband) discover the mystery of her
purple-haired twin!
"Excuse me, miss, what's your name?"
Shampoo frowned. That was Mousse's voice. Why didn't he
know the Amazon's name?
"Ranko Saotome, err, is something wrong?"
Shampoo winced. This was going to screw up her chances with
her older brother, wasn't it?
---------------
A Sailor Marionette Timeline:
Sakyo stormed into the main lab, using her transformation
to garb herself as Ukyo complete with spatula along the way.
"LORELEI!"
The doctor who had created the marionettes and who held
herself responsible for much of the mess that followed an
oversight in the design of the Mesopotamia's main computer,
flinched slightly. Nightmares in which she was hauled out of
the castle by mobs of torch-carrying vengeful ghostlike
figures continued to haunt her.
"What is it, Miss Sakyo?" Gennai was beginning to feel his
advanced age. He no longer moved that swiftly or easily, so
figured he couldn't get out of the way anyway.
"I disabled your security cameras, I was to be given
complete autonomy on this project!"
"Oh dear," said Gennai. If she was that upset about
eavesdroppers, no telling what would happen if she found out
about...
"And then, there's this!" Sakyo brandished a metallic organ
resembling the letter 'H' with plastic wiring around the
connecting bar.
Lorelei blinked. "What's that?"
Sakyo lowered her arm, detecting honest puzzlement.
Gennai leaned closer, examining the object. "It looks
like... is this bar here some sort of radio receiver? The
plasma cloud keeps radio transmissions to short range only,
usually have to do line of sight to a repeater... That's one
reason the production models are so vulnerable to plasma
discharges, their transceiver links to the main computer are
easily severed."
"It's an override device." Sakyo frowned and idly tapped
her spatula against a lab table. "If it is NOT yours, then
one of the other countries is involved, so that means your
security is shot to Hell. I found this in one of the
marionette frames I was modifying."
"You made a backup of me, wouldn't it be impossible for me
to hold secrets from you?" Lorelei pointed out logically.
"Good point," allowed Sakyo.
"OH!" Gennai saw someone else enter the hall. "Is this one
of your test models?"
"Hmmm. Oh yes. 'Sailor Marionette U'."
Sailor Marionette U chose that moment to trip and
facefault. "Ouchie!"
"Seems to have a bit of problem with the balance and reflex
actuators," noted Gennai.
Lorelei's eyes widened as she observed the marionette
rubbing her nose as if it had hurt and the tear tracks
running down her cheeks. "You're already constructing maiden
circuits!"
Sakyo frowned. "Not exactly. There's seperate centers for
personality and emotions, though the sections 'talk' to each
other all the time. Well, if YOU didn't do it, I need to get
back to work before my lab gets pilfered despite the
presence of Sailor Marionette A and R."
Gennai and Lorelei watched her go, then both breathed a
sigh of relief. She didn't know. Though that gadget looked
like Geltland or New Texas might be involved, complicating
things further.
----------------
Nichieju:
Jared stood shamefacedly next to a row of beehives.
"Was all this *really* necessary, Jared?" Urd toyed with
him.
He stirred the ground with his toe. ~Tell her how badly
he'd gotten carried away?~ "Weeell," he defended. "They
*did* need some kind of sweetener."
"Was that before or after you added all those microclimate
greenhouses with the sugar cane?" Belldandy blinked.
"Honey has more vitamins." Jared responded. "I added the
greenhouses so they could grow chocolate and vanilla, though
the bananas and coconuts didn't hurt either. No, the sugar
cane was so they could sweeten the chocolate. Besides, they
needed some kind of insect to do all the
pollinating. And bees have a different activity cycle than
the bats. So I thought..."
"... that maybe you just went a *tad* overboard?" Urd
teased.
"Well, I don't know..." The boy hedged uncertainly.
Urd smoothly uncurled herself from her seated posture and
went over to a shield icon that was a common carving evenly
distributed throughout convenient locations in the town,
tapping the four quarters of the shield in a certain
sequence and then shooting Jared a glance out of the corner
of her eye as she spoke to it.
"Activate full barrier defense screen."
A transparant blue shield formed a dome over the town,
coming down to the top of the defensive wall all around. A
disembodied voice spoke from cleverly hidden speakers.
"Defense screen completed and engaged. Awaiting targeting
data for Mercury-class anti-armor and anti-artillery
missiles."
"Mercury class?" Makoto spoke, puzzled. Was he referring to
her old friend Ami?
Jared tried not to show how embarrassed he was. "You know,
Greek messenger deity? 'Reach out, reach out and touch
someone?'" He quoted an old telephone commercial.
Makoto sniggered.
Urd keyed the deactivation cycle, standing down the city's
technological defenses. Then went over and began to shoo
Jared out of the town. "C'mon, if we don't leave now we'll
be late."
"But WAIT!!!" He cried. "I still haven't finished the
advanced laser anti-orbital ground-to-air defense
batteries!! And I haven't even STARTED the rail guns for
their direct fire point to point ground defense! It'll be a
crime to leave them without more than missiles!"
Shan had to agree. But they *did* have a schedule to keep.
"No. We've got to go to the Tendo dojo." Urd was firmly
having fun.
"But they're practically defenseless against infantry
troops! There's only the walls, and the moat, and..."
"How many missiles do they have?" Makoto asked him.
Jared stopped struggling. "Um... a thousand multiwarhead,
only fifty.... Hey!!!"
Urd dragged him out of town.
----------------
notes:
COSMETIC POLYMORPH (Aramarian spell) (transmutation)
Level:3 Range: touch Components: V,S,M
Area: 1 creature Saving throw:negates Duration: permanent
Casting Time: special
by casting this spell, the wizard is able to alter an
appearance. Any attempt to resist the spell automatically
succeeds, however this is not usually a problem for the
typical hedgewizard. Only minor changes can be made, one
change per every five levels of the casting wizard, one
change at a time. Therefore a fifteenth level wizard casting
this spell on a noblewoman can remove a single mole, remove
a scar, and straighten one of her front teeth during a
single casting of this spell.
lots of little ideas otherwise.
yes, there IS an end to this monster planned.
no, it won't satisfy everyone (what does?)
-----------------------------
http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com/
metro...@mindspring.com
"Fill the cup of happiness for others,
and there will be enough overflowing
to fill yours to the brim."
Rose Pastor Stokes