[Ranma/Xover][FanFic] The Bet: Reluctant Bet segment 30 "Reluctant Finale"

[Gregg Sharp]

Reluctant Bet segment 30 "Reluctant Finale"

Disclaimer: many things by many people, stirred together
with the attempt to bring something new out of the mix.

----------

Celeste brought the primary displays up with Belle's
help. "90% chance of a smooth fusion with the Pheonix Mage's
home timeline, giving THAT extra stability."

"What of those last three backups you've done?" Hades
humorlessly looked over the displays. He didn't particularly
care one way or the other, and had only drawn this duty
because Ares was currently a plush toy. "There are people
that don't have an analogue in that timeline, after all. Not
to mention having a spare copy of that punk."

"Bringing up a simulation of the first one," Belle
said with a cute smile.

********

Label: A Very Different Art
Stabilization Point: Backtracked to April 4, 1982
Simulation Point: March 22, 1992 Tendo Dojo

"Ranma was separated from Genma for a number of years, but
Genma finally tracked him down in the city of Miyazaki near
Nagasaki."

"So he's a 'country boy'?" Nabiki lost a bit of interest,
but maybe he had some redeeming qualities. "Is he cute?"

"How old is he? Younger men bore me." Kasumi fretted
briefly. "What kind of guy is this 'Ranma'?"

"I have no idea, I've never met him," said Soun.

The roar of an engine announced some vehicle approaching.
Windows rattled. Kasumi looked down at her cup of tea and
noticed the circular ripples as the noise got louder.
Finally the noise cut off, but it sounded like it had ended
in their front yard!

"Ah, kamisama! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!"

"That's Genma's voice!" Soun ran to the front door,
throwing it open to see his old friend Genma kissing the
ground. "GENMA!"

"Soun! I survived! The nightmare is over!"

"Geez, Mister Saotome, it ain't like I could go that fast
or reckless with a SIDECAR!" The boy in the leather jacket
got his helmet off, revealing a fairly handsome boy with a
scar on one cheek that seemed to give him further character
as opposed to detracting from his appearance.

"So... YOU'RE Ranma?" Nabiki looked over the boy with a
proprietary gleam and decided he WAS cute. Worn black jeans,
blue denim shirt, leather vest, a small hammer hanging from
a chain around his neck, a few pouches and tools hanging
from his belt, thick biker's boots. Tall, and with what
looked like serious strength in his arms and shoulders.

"Yah," the boy said, holding up one hand. "I'm Ranma Mo...
Saotome. Dang, gonna take me awhile to get used to that.
Pleased ta meetcha."

Kasumi was mollified slightly. The boy was at least polite
if a bit crude in his speech.

Nabiki stared at the American motorcycle briefly, noting
that the sidecar was British, and that the backpack fastened
to the backrest had stickers in Chinese and some other
language she couldn't place. Well travelled.

Akane frowned. How dare some boy come bringing some smelly,
noisy, motorcycle into HER home! Feh, and it probably leaked
oil.

---------------

Shampoo propped her head on her hands and studied her
treasure, finally shaking her head at the silliness of it
and getting up from the table.

He wasn't even a warrior. Just some boy who showed up in
the village one day, watched her fighting, and left briefly
and when he came back...

Shampoo found herself staring at the sculpture again. About
the size of her head, a simple unpainted clay sculpture.
Nothing but clay from one of the nearby riverbanks hardened
by flame into fragile pink stone. Not worth anything much at
all. Of course, she had graciously accepted the gift even if
it was of little value and from some worthless Outsider
male.

No, it wasn't of any value at all.

Shampoo found herself smiling as she considered it.

The statue was of her, standing on one leg in a modified
crane stance. The statue's hands both clenched a bonbori and
extended behind her like wings. The statue's head was thrown
back.

Shampoo found herself admiring the statue again and tried
to figure out what it was about the figurine. The whole pose
was of someone confident and triumphant, obviously posing in
victory. Something in the way the girl was posed suggested
that she was strong and fierce and thoroughly feminine.
Something in the face suggested mischief and pride.

Shampoo stood up. No, she was a warrior, a Champion,
everyone thought she would be Cologne's Heir. She had no
time to sit and admire some wandering artist's work. Shampoo
sat down in front of her mirror, brushing her hair out,
still puzzling over her reaction to the thing. She thought
she might have a handle on why she liked the silly thing so
much...

"SHAMPOO! I'm back, Shampoo! Your loving husband! The
future father of your children!" CRASH!

Shampoo blinked and put the brush down. Mousse acting like
an idiot, normal. Mousse entering her quarters even after
repeatedly being threatened with personal extinction,
normal. The sound of something shattering... less normal.
There wasn't much that Shampoo kept that was breakable.

"Shampoo..." CRUNCH! "Oh, there you are!"

Shampoo rose and slowly turned. There was Mousse, talking
to a dress she had hanging from a peg. There was Mousse,
standing in a pile of little pink clay chips. One of which
was clearly a hand clutching a bonbori.

"M-m-my gift..." Shampoo wondered what that roaring noise
was, before realizing it was the sound of blood rushing past
her ears.

Mousse oriented on her voice and turned to rush and glomp
the object of his affections. CRUNCH! "SHAMPOO! Oh, I missed
you so much!"

Shampoo blinked as she saw that mischievous face get
powdered under Mousse's slippers. Only the one hand and
bonbori seemed to have survived.

Mousse was pawing her, saying something, but Shampoo
couldn't quite make it out.

There had been many times Shampoo had been angry at Mousse.
Mistaking her for livestock, chasing off people she was
trying to be friends with, getting her chased out of her
Healer apprenticeship as his long robes kept sweeping off
the shelves as he proclaimed his love the billionth time,
interrupting classes dealing with Amazon Lore so he could
declare that he would marry Shampoo, attacking a shy and
gentle Healer who had once tried to make friends with the
Warrior. Yes, there were many times that Shampoo had gotten
angry at Mousse, someone who had been a friend while they
were very young but had turned into a nuisance.

THIS went beyond angry. She stood there, not entirely sure
what to do. Simply stomping him was not sufficient.

Mousse, noting that Shampoo was not pushing him away, was
encouraged. He gestured towards the doorway and took her
hand, then stepped forward. CRUNCH.

Shampoo twitched as the little bonbori joined the rest of
the little shards and powder. "You did that on purpose!"

Mousse blinked. It wasn't the reaction he was expecting.
She wasn't yelling, but she wasn't agreeing with his
suggestion of an elopement either.

"You did that on purpose!" Shampoo repeated. NOBODY could
be this blind.

"Uhm, Shampoo, darling, you're crushing my hand."

"Mousse. Go away. Now. Or I will be forced to clean your
blood out of my floor."

"But, Shampoo, I..." A thin wooden staff tapped his back
and Mousse collapsed.

"Elder Lilac?" Shampoo contained her anger as best she
could. The old Elder of Healers was not someone you got
angry with easily.

"Child, have I ever told you about my Douglas?" The Elder
leaned against a wall and regarded the pink powder on the
floor. Nothing for it now but to get a dustpan.

"EVERYBODY knows about Lilac's Douglas." Shampoo said,
still calming herself. "He was a plumber who defeated you
many years ago. Our Amazon village gained indoor plumbing
and a water filtration system from that, not to mention the
septic tanks, until you finally went your different ways
when it was apparent that you couldn't have children."

"Some things are beyond even Amazon lore." Lilac nodded,
she had pleasant memories of Douglas. At least one plumber
had been VERY good with his hands. "So, I take it that
you're rather upset with Mousse at present. You look as if
you'd have to calm down to simply be angry, or were you
aware of the battle-aura you're putting out? Or that you
were clenching your teeth hard enough that you've drawn
blood?"

"That... that..." Shampoo again tried to calm herself.

"Here child," Lilac moved around Shampoo touching a set of
pressure points as she went. "The Clear Thinking shiatsu
technique. One of my favorites. Now tell me, why does this
upset you so much more than any of Mousse's other
fumble-fingered attempts to woo you?"

"Because..." Shampoo's voice trailed off as the answer
clicked into place. "Because some Outsider I've never met
before saw me more clearly than Mousse ever had. The statue
didn't just look physically like me, in some way it
*captured* me..."

Lilac nodded. "A very good likeness and it was a fine
memento of your victory, longer lasting than that feast too.
Though not nearly to the extent that one would hope.
Obviously that Outsider is a skilled artist and capable of
looking fairly deep or he at least captured your essence in
that piece. So tell me, Shampoo, if an Outsider Male manages
to capture an unmarried maiden?"

"But he's not a warrior!" Shampoo saw what the Elder was
implying. "Grandmother said that..."

"So? When a nineteen year old had just lost his father in a
plane crash and stumbled into our village back in 1912, he
was a plumber who had studied his trade from birth and knew
little of fighting. Cologne disliked him, never did approve
of me losing like that, but my Douglas was a treasure to me
for many years and benefitted the Village enormously. What
do you think, that I made a mistake there?"

"But I'm a warrior, and Hiba-chan..."

Lilac's eyes glittered. "You think Healers have less pride?
I'll tell you two things, Shampoo. One is based on my
experience with Douglas. DON'T try to win him on your terms
or based on what you see in the Village. Win him on HIS
terms."

"But my Great-Grandmother..." Shampoo shook her head.
Cologne would NEVER go for that.

"And the other is that sooner or later, Mousse will
challenge you, get lucky, and then expect you to be his
dutiful bride..." Lilac let the sentence trail off as she
saw the concept penetrate.

"Sorry, Elder Lilac, I've got to start packing!"

"Oh, and child, I heard him say he was going to Nerima in
Tokyo. That's a suburb of the capitol of Japan, by the way.
He was trying to arrange for us to ship him a few supplies
when he got a permanent address. Plans to be an artist, an
architect, AND an engineer. Ah, reminds me of my Douglas in
a way..."

Shampoo nodded absently as she threw a few things into a
carrisack. Nerima, Tokyo, Japan. Maybe she ought to get a
phrasebook.

-----------------------

Kasumi turned the glass sculpture over in her hands,
marvelling at the detail in something no bigger than her
index finger. A glass rose, caught in the act of just
beginning to bloom. She held it with a certain degree of
wonder at such a thing, and coyly glanced at the
manufacturer. Not a "boy" after all.

Nabiki had taken HER gift with a certain degree of
possessiveness from the start. The glass sculpture was nice,
fairly well made, but she doubted it was worth much. Just a
generic little piece, a glass swan. Unlike the typical one,
this one had been depicted in the act of taking off and even
had a hint of feathers scratched into the surface.
Considering that it was about the length of her thumb, that
wasn't bad, but everyone KNEW how poor artists tended to be.

Akane had refused to take the little glass butterfly. She
wanted nothing to do with a *boy* after all, and accepting
his gift might have been construed as accepting something of
this arranged marriage. Instead she eyed it from where it
sat, untended and neglected, on the table.

"So, son, which one will you marry?"

Ranma paused. "Marry? But I don't know anything about
them!"

"This is Kasumi, she's 19. This is Nabiki, she's 17. This
is Akane, she's 16. Pick the one you want, she'll be your
new fiancee!"

"Are you DEAF?! Besides, I'm going to go to Nekomi
Technical Institute. I don't have the MONEY for this!"

Soun blinked. "NIT? But son, you're in High School now.
Then you can run the dojo! Why go to some college? Just go
ahead and marry one of my girls and that will take care of
your future. We've planned it all out!"

"WHAT?!"

"NIT?" Nabiki became a bit more interested. Martial artists
generally didn't make much money, artists were usually poor,
people with Mechanical Engineering degrees on the other
hand... And Nekomi had a high placement rate. Not as high as
*some* universities, but respectable.

Akane just huffed, continuing to stare out of the corner of
her eye at the butterfly. The pattern of thin colored glass
in the wings seemed to slide across her eyes. No, she would
NOT indicate that she liked it. It was just a stupid
perverted boy, after all, and if she encouraged him he might
get weird ideas. No, scratch that, he WOULD get weird ideas.

"BOY!" Genma slapped his son in the side of his head. "You
WILL marry one of these girls and carry on the Anything Goes
school!"

WHAM!

Kasumi apologized for her impertinence as she removed the
frypan from Genma's head, wondering how THAT got there. She
returned her gaze to the rose. It had been YEARS since a boy
had given her a gift, and she couldn't ever remember being
given flowers.

Several Tendos were staring at Kasumi. For Kasumi to pull a
blunt object out and casually lay a trained martial artist
like Genma out cold was a shock. That Kasumi was studying
the glass rose and BLUSHING slightly?!

Nabiki's eyes narrowed. "Kasumi, isn't Ranma too young for
you? He's only sixteen, after all."

"Hmmm? What, Nabiki? Did you say something?" Kasumi glanced
up, still a bit distracted.

Nabiki didn't facefault, but it was a close thing.

Akane fumed. So that was it. This *boy* was attempting to
seduce her innocent older sister! And succeeding! He was
just *acting* like he wasn't interested! "YOU PERVERT!"

"Huh?" This was said by more than one member of the
audience, not having read Akane's thought balloons.

Soun leapt to the wrong conclusion, naturally, which was
that Akane and Kasumi were BOTH interested in Ranma. This
led to another round of joyous weeping.

"So, Ranma, you want to be an Engineer?" Nabiki decided to
ignore the things she couldn't understand for now and
concentrate on getting information. She'd make sense of it
later.

"Yes, actually, I want to learn Architecture and keep up my
artistic studies as well." Ranma smiled at someone who
actually seemed to be interested in his plans. "With the
expansion of Japan's cities, it seems that we need to look
at alternatives to traditional urban sprawl. Underwater or
underground dwellings seem to be a logical way to go."

Nabiki smirked. It was doubtful that it would ever happen,
but someone who was a bit of an artist combined with
architect combined with engineer? Obviously the boy would
need a good financial planner! And Nabiki knew JUST the
individual to be the ideal candidate.

Soun blinked as he noticed the air of predatory interest.
Nabiki's expression was quite familiar, she'd gone through a
phase where she had been running around yelling "mine" and
laying claim to anything she could. (She had gotten subtler
about it but still tended to do this.) That was the SAME
expression on Nabiki's face now. Soun carefully followed the
gaze from Nabiki to Ranma and then back.

Soun erupted in joyous tears, to even a greater extent than
before. ALL THREE OF HIS DAUGHTERS! Well, in THAT case, he
didn't want to go too fast. No point in pushing if it would
break the hearts of the other two! He was so proud of his
daughters accepting this burden! So happy with the prospect
of the marriage!

Genma, still laid out in dreamland, didn't protest.

----------------

"So, Ranma-kun, this is *your* motorcycle? It looks... very
nice." Kasumi wasn't quite sure what to say about it.

Ranma proudly gestured, immensely pleased at Kasumi's
interest. "Yes, it's a 1980 Harley Davidson Shovelhead
WideGlide. It was pretty much scrap when I found it, and I
had to restore it using non-stock parts, but it was worth
it. It was cheap because it was at an estate sale, and I
couldn't get everything, and I didn't have a lot of money.
The sidecar was off a scrapped 1971 BMW. There's some
nonstandard parts so, well, it's a bit of a Mongrel but it
works pretty well."

"I see," said Kasumi, not having a clue what Ranma was
talking about but being polite. She noted he seemed to be a
nice boy and very enthusiastic about some things.

"I replaced the chain with a belt. The heads are bored out.
Which, of course, means bigger pistons but a loss of
compression. It's now at 9.4:1, which is sufficient, don't
you think?"

Looking over the massive machine, Kasumi went for what she
hoped was a sufficiently noncommital answer. "It looks
sufficient, I suppose."

"Would you like to take it for a drive..." Ranma offered
shyly.

"Oh, I don't think... Well maybe, just a short trip."
Kasumi considered getting a few groceries. That wouldn't be
too much trouble, would it?

Nabiki popped up from behind a bush. "Why thank you,
Ranma-kun, I'd *love* to have a ride on your motorcycle!"

Akane popped up from where she'd been sneaking up. "You are
NOT putting my sisters in danger by taking them on trips on
that dangerous machine! I've got to go along to keep an eye
on you!"

Ranma blinked. "But... I've only got two helmets..."

Genma stuck his head out a window. He was all for Ranma
trying to get along with a potential fiancee, but subjecting
them to the terror of that Machine From Hell was not likely
to endear Ranma to the girls. "Ranma! Time to train!"

Soun stuck his head out of another window. "Ah, my poor
little girls are getting to know their fiance! You make me
so proud!"

**********

"Prediction programs have a 90% chance of the
insistence of the two father's regarding Ranma dropping the
engineering background in favor of martial arts, plus
Genma's finding his way into his son's savings, pretty much
have him completely rejecting his true father and the
arrangement. He ends up leaving to go to NIT, but the
problems follow him." Celeste looked over the simulation.
"Predictions break down into less certain patterns after he
ends up at Nekomi trying to work and go to school."

Belle nodded and pulled a pie chart up on one monitor.
"60% chance of ending up with Kasumi or Nabiki. 25% chance
of Shampoo following Lilac's advice and being supportive
enough to gain points with Ranma when he ends up having to
rely on someone else. 15% chance that Ukyo tracks him down,
resolves her differences eventually, and the two end up
getting together."

Hades frowned, but this was pretty much his normal
expression anyway. "Too close to that Amethyst timeline
you're so fond of, Celeste. Try the next."

Celeste snapped her fingers. "Oh. Well, how about..."

Belle brought up the second simulation.

***********

Stabilization Point: June 19, 1986
Location: Yamashiro, Japan
Simulation point: Jusenkyo, March 1, 1990

Ranma Saotome stroked the rather large cat standing next to
him and looked around at the place his father had brought
him to. "Aw this doesn't look so bad."

The pink-furred cat hissed, apparently disagreeing.

"Come on, Ranma, follow me!" Genma leapt to one of the
poles.

"Wait here, Nuku," Ranma gently patted the cat on her
shoulder. "Hey, what's up? Why are you so upset?"

The cat hissed and yowled, trying to communicate to Ranma
exactly why this place set her hackles up.

"What kind of cat that? Pink fur and too big for housecat.
Hmmm. Oh what is sir doing?!"

"Stop playing with the damn cat, Ranma! Are you not a man?"

"Something's scaring the heck outta her, Pop. I ain't seen
her this agitated since we stayed outside that cave over in
Okayama." Ranma frowned.

"Ah, sir, what you doing up there? This place very
dangerous, nobody use any more!"

"Ranma, are you chicken? Get up here and fight!" Genma
paused. "Or are you a weak little girl?"

"Oh shuddup." Ranma leapt to the top of a pole. "What're
the stakes this time?"

"SIRS?!"

Nuku Nuku howled as her master got close to those pools.
THIS was why cats were clearly the superior species, stupid
blind know-it-all humans! Couldn't they FEEL the spirits of
this place, hungering for further victims?!

Leap, kick, sweeping attack. Block, sweep, countermove.

Splash. Bubble. Panda attacks.

Ranma blinked, startled. A panda?

Dropped guard. Attack goes through defenses. Throw.

Nuku raced forward, she weighed in excess of seventy
pounds, maybe she could deflect him?

Splash. Bubble. A scream.

"Oh, very sad, sir... your cat fall in Spring Of Drowned
Girl. Terrible tragic story of..."

The Jusenkyo Guide's telling of the tale was interrupted by
an inhuman snarl. The pinkhaired girl turned a look towards
the panda that spoke of violence. Genma was momentarily
unconcerned. After all, he was a trained martial artist, he
could easily defend himself against some teenage girl,
couldn't he?

This was dispelled by the sudden violence rained upon the
panda by the transformed girl, who actually lifted the
transformed Genma up over her head and threw him. Then a
darkhaired martial artist boy joined in.

Ranma was quite aware that if he hadn't been knocked
aside, he would have landed in a pool that had turned his
cat into a girl. He wasn't sure what would have happened,
but this was what he considered Genma's latest and most
stupid manuever. In a long line of similar manuevers. Right
now he'd react, later he'd ponder it.

Genma tried to flee but Ranma and Nuku had hunted
together previously and were used to working as a team. Even
when they were transformed, they found their actions fitting
like a well oiled machine in operation.

Sometime when the panda had been hauled back to the Guide's
hut, Ryoga fell off a cliff and hit a spring that had
nothing to do with a Drowned Pig.

------***Prefectural Jusenkyo Girl Nuku Nuku***-------

Nuku tugged uncomfortably at her clothing and glanced
sideways at Ranma. "Rrrrroooww?"

Ranma smiled back and said something in that human language
they were always jabbering on in. Now that SHE was human,
she supposed she'd have to learn it. How... inconvienent.
Still, it was MUCH less easy for stupid older smells-greasy
human to pull stupid stunts with HER human! Heh. And
wouldn't it aggravate greasy-fat-man if she COULD talk?

Nuku decided to do it. She'd always been more clever than
smaller cats. She'd just never had the equipment or a good
enough reason to learn speaking like a human. NOW, however,
she WAS (shudder) at least a part time human. And all
fat-greasy-needs-to-bathe human's fault. HER human had
learned to pay attention.

Not knowing what to make of this, the Jusenkyo Guide turned
to Ranma. "Sir, what kind of cat? She not act like typical
cat get transformed."

"We're not sure. Nuku Nuku was one of a bunch of cats Pop
rounded up to teach me some lame technique called the
Catfist. Nuku adopted me when the training... drove me a
little nuts. Having her around's helped. Guy I knew said she
was a variety of mountain cat native to China. She musta
been just a kitten when we met."

Nuku stared at Ranma's mouth. You puckered and moved the
soft bits like so and moved the tongue around like that. It
seemed extremely complicated. "Rrrruuuu?"

"What is it, Nuku?"

"Ruuaaa? Raaa. Raaaraaa..."

Genma stood up, adjusting his backpack. "Whatever, Ranma.
We must go. We have things to do and must go back to Japan."

"Uh huh," Ranma said. "Guide, you said that if *I* had hit
the pool, I'd be turned into a girl?"

"Whenever struck with cold water, yes sir. But hot
water turn you back."

"Raaaraannnn." She'd been watching his mouth. "Nuuukyuuu?"

Ranma blinked, realizing what was happening. Nothing like
having the truth being used as a blunt instrument repeatedly
against your head. "She's trying to talk? Nuku Nuku?"

Genma blinked too. The boy was mistaken, right?

"Nuuukkuu." Nuku Nuku frowned. This was *so* difficult and
it had been a rough day. Maybe she should catch a nap before
going further? "Nukkkuuu?"

"Nuku Nuku." Ranma tapped Nuku in the chest, then tapped
himself in the chest. "Ranma."

Nuku smiled, understanding the human gesture if it wasn't
natural to her. "Rrrrannnmaaa."

"Cat is very clever cat," said the Guide with wide eyes.

"Good girl, Nuku Nuku."

Nuku nodded. She knew it. Now her human understood...

Nuku blinked. SHE was human now, at least part time. Well,
didn't THAT confuse things all to hell. Hmmm. And Ranma
smelled nice, too...

------------

"...and so here we come, Sirs, to rustic village of
Nichieju."

"What kinda food they got here?"

"Growlf."

"Rrrrooowww?" Nuku didn't like this, flat out REFUSED to
carry a backpack, and was not thrilled with her Ranma
following his father (however grudgingly). Besides, humans
tended to stink after they exercised. (More evidence, if any
was needed, of the innate superiority of felines.)

"Oh, we is in luck sirs, is big fighting tournament." The
Guide heard the noise and turned to see three tourists
tearing into a victory feast. "SIRS? What you do there?"

The newly declared champion stalked forward and began
berating the tall girl with the pink hair, but desisted when
the girl MEOWED at her. She turned her attention to the
darkhaired boy in the hopes of at least some indication that
the other understood he was being fussed at.

"So if I beat you, there's no problem, right?"

Nuku watched the fight, stalking around to view from
different angles as Shampoo attacked, Ranma counterattacked,
then the defeated kissed the victor. Oh goody, they were
friends now.

If the crowd gasped with surprise as Shampoo gave the Kiss
Of Marriage to Ranma, they went into shock as Shampoo was
stopped before she had even stepped back from Ranma. Stopped
by the pink haired girl grabbing Shampoo and giving THE KISS
OF MARRIAGE!

Shampoo considered fainting. This was not anywhere near the
script she had intended. She rallied, however, deciding to
get angry. Were these stupid outsiders mocking Amazon
Tradition?

Nuku Nuku wasn't ready for the attack and was stunned by a
strong blow to the head.

The not-friend turned an attack towards Ranma.

Nuku understood this, sort of, in cat-terms. The new female
was deciding if she would be the dominant in the
association. Well, Nuku Nuku had her own thoughts about
this.

Shampoo thought about it, and there was only one thing to
do. "Wo ai ni!" She leapt forward again.

A hand snaking out and grabbing the back of Shampoo's
collar arrested her forward momentum.

Shampoo turned to regard the pink haired girl who was
moving around as if sizing the Amazon up for an attack.

Nuku revealed that that WAS the game plan when she leapt at
Shampoo with a howl.

Shampoo lifted her bonbori from where they had fallen, and
started forward herself.

*WHISHHHHT! Clatterclatterclatter.*

Shampoo's eyes bugged slightly, going from the neat little
slices of bonbori mace to the girl's bare hands.

"/Careful Shampoo, the girl knows the dreaded Cat Fist!/"

Shampoo stepped back and threw the useless handle to the
side. "/Great Grandmother? What is this Cat Fist?/"

"/A terrible technique. Mainly useless, though difficult to
defeat without knowing about it beforehand. She has struck
you twice now. Look at your dress./"

Shampoo did, noticing two lines cut in the silk. "/WHAT?!/"

"/If she fought in earnest, she would have drawn blood at
least./" Cologne was intrigued as the girl showed all the
signs of cat fist mastery. Which meant that Shampoo's
opponent currently had the mind of a cat. "/If you use
deadly force, she will likely respond that way./"

"/I will not surrender,/" Shampoo growled, leaping forward.

Nuku howled and struck. SHE was the head female here. She'd
teach this upstart to get in line. She'd avoid making it
fatal though, this other girl had less than half her speed
and strength, plus no claws to speak of.

The battle quickly became a catfight instead of a martial
arts duel. When the dust cleared, Shampoo was lying in the
dust with Nuku Nuku crouched over her.

Cologne sighed and stepped forward. It looked like
*she* would have to get involved. Though she noted that
Shampoo had merely been embarassed. Especially as Shampoo
was woken up by the stranger girl licking her face.

"/Well, Shampoo, this Outsider Man AND this woman
defeated you. Consider your options carefully./" Cologne
turned to the three Outsiders. "If you'll just wait a few
moments, I'm sure my great-granddaughter can sort out this
mess. If you'd like a place to stay for the night we would
be honored if you'd be our guests."

Shampoo considered. An Outsider girl defeating an
Amazon meant the Kiss Of Death, you had to pursue and kill.
Though rarely used anymore, but Shampoo was Cologne's Heir
and therefore held to a higher standard. An Outsider man
defeating an Amazon meant the Kiss Of Marriage, which she
had just delivered to the man, so they were married. Then
the Outsider girl had given HER the Kiss Of Marriage, which
meant...

Shampoo looked disgusted and VERY unenthusiasticly
towards the pink haired girl. "Wo da airen," she mumbled.
"Wo ai ni."

Nuku watched the purple haired girl lower her head as
if staring at the ground. ~Good, she knows her place now and
is baring her neck. The pack grows and I can learn human
behavior from a female of approximately my age. Now, I've
got another pet human or at least a packmate who smells
better than greasy-fat-man. Hmmm. Her fur smells nice,
actually. Have to see if Ranma can get his fur smelling that
nicely.~

**********

"For some reason, Celeste, I can see your influence in
THAT one too." Hades shook his head. "And what are the
predictions running with this?"

"High probability that Nuku Nuku gets locked in her
human form, resulting in her deciding to keep Ranma as her
mate instead of a favorite human. High strength, speed, and
innate knowledge of the Catfist techniques make Nuku Nuku a
formidable opponent in any physical confrontation. 75%
chance they end up at the Tendo Dojo. Nuku Nuku starts
imprinting on the two older sisters as additional sources of
'proper human behavior' and befriends the Tendos for their
brief stay. Akane gets dumped as most popular girl after
Nuku Nuku shows up, though she remains popular." Celeste
checked the scrolling data and smiled. It actually looked
interesting, at least to her.

Belle pointed out a dark possibility. "As soon as the
curse is revealed, Soun Tendo decides that Shampoo is a
threat to the engagement and the cat needs to be eliminated.
Looks like Soun and Genma keep quiet about the whole fiancee
thing as even they realize that Ranma's liable to chuck it
and leave with Shampoo and Nuku Nuku. Shampoo's the first
girl ever to treat him kindly and he kind of fixates on her,
but Nuku's human form awakens feelings that confuse him
greatly."

Pluto grumbled. "How about the next one?"

**************

Stabilization Point: March 4, 1992
Location: Jusenkyo
Simulation Point: March 25, 1992

"Soun!"

"Genma! What happened to that panda who was here?"

"Well, it's like this..." Genma started to explain
Jusenkyo.

"Oh, well, where's your son?" Soun gestured grandly to
where his three daughters sat.

Genma scratched his head. "Well, you see, Soun old buddy.
There's a problem with that."

****Messiah****

"HE WHAT?!" Soun stared at his old friend.

"Oh darn, well if he's renounced all family ties to join a
monastery, then I guess there's no wedding. What a pity!"
Akane smiled, her voice heavy with sarcasm.

Nabiki frowned. "True. In order to join that sort of
monastery you have to renounce all family ties, including
family honor."

"But our... family honor rests upon the marriage." Soun
began wailing. "Saotome! How could you let this happen?!"

"It was at Jusenkyo," sighed Genma. "As you saw, I fell in
the Spring Of Drowned Panda. Ranma fell into what the Guide
called 'Spring Of Drowned Virtuous Man' and THAT is where
the trouble began."

"Virtuous Man?" Kasumi looked up, intrigued.

"Yes, he came out with a gleam in his eye that had never
been there before." Genma sighed again. "Later that same day
he disappeared and when he had returned he had contrived to
make his cursed condition permanent. He became even more
dedicated to the Art, concerned with honor, concerned with
morality, concerned with helping people. Oh, the SHAME of it
all!"

Soun blinked. "This is a problem?"

"Then when we reached Japan, he told me he was dedicating
his life to perfection in the Art. At the Lake Biwa
Monastery! Cutting all earthly ties and becoming a monk!"
Genma looked sadly at the table.

"The honor of two families depends on their being joined.
How do you plan on overcoming this, Saotome?"

"Simple, Tendo. Though I deeply regret doing this." Genma
sighed. "As soon as I realized that Ranma would not abandon
his plan, I filed for divorce with my wife. It HAS been over
ten years, after all."

Soun smiled, pushing any doubts or concerns behind him. "Of
course! Not the best solution, but this will do it! Which
one will it be?"

"Huh?" Akane was still being happy about there being no
son, therefore no arranged marriage, therefore no BOY.

Nabiki's eyes widened as she realized what was going on.

Kasumi smiled sweetly and placed a hand on Akane's back,
shoving forward. "Oh, he wants Akane."

Nabiki didn't hesitate. "Couldn't agree more."

"What are you talking about? I..." Akane's eyes bugged. "NO
WAY!"

"Well, you hate boys, don't you Akane? You're in luck,
here's someone who's a man. AND you get a part time panda at
the same time, what a deal!" Nabiki smirked and continued
pushing forward.

"And he's an experienced martial arts sensei, Akane."
Kasumi held up a finger and smiled at her sister. "Haven't
you been saying how you want advanced martial arts
training?"

"But he's old enough to be my father! Literally!" Akane
shook her head as she observed the cold soulless eyes, the
piggy rolls of fat at the midsection, the stern look, the
bald head. "NO WAY I'm getting married to some..."

"What do you think about next Saturday, Tendo?"

"Why not THIS Saturday? Though I admit having you for a
son-in-law will be a bit strange. Try to make my little girl
happy!"

"Of course, Tendo, of course!"

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Akane screamed, hair actually managing to
stand on end.

--------------------

The Outsider followed the hooded shape of Brother
Theophylline. (A fairly good individual, though often short
of breath and reluctant to speak.)

"There." Brother Theophylline pointed.

"The waterfall?" The woman glanced back. "This is where
this hotshot new priest is?"

"There," agreed Theophylline.

Sighing, the woman trudged on, muttering under her breath
about taciturn priests. Rumors of this priest had drawn her.
Three months ago a novice had approached the monastery to
take vows and seek Enlightenment. A priest who lived a life
of privation and who now led the others by providing an
example to strive for.

She'd heard enough to get curious. And the more she'd heard
the more curious she'd gotten.

Walking over ground that still had much of the winter's
snow on it, she finally reached the waterfall to catch her
first glimpse of the priest.

The waterfall still had bits of ice in it, which washed
over the firmly muscled form of the priest who sat
lotus-style in the stream. Bits of ice clung to him, which
made the woman wonder briefly if the priest had been placed
here in death.

The eyes opened. "If you seek enlightenment, there are
others more learned than I."

"Are you Ranma Saotome?"

The eyes closed again. "Ranma Saotome ceased to be. I am he
who was the one you speak of. I am now Brother Ran, a novice
of the Order Of The Inner Flame."

The woman drew closer, her eyes looking over the figure,
scrutinizing every detail. If half she had heard was
correct, this was not the Ranma Saotome she had expected to
meet.

"Uhm, can you get out of there? It's hard to hear over the
water, and I *really* need to settle a score with you."

The eyes flicked open and Brother Ran uncoiled gracefully.
"I see. You seek redress. I am sorry but part of my vows
have cut all ties with my past."

"Yeah, I know. Vows of poverty, vows of charity, vows of
chastity, and vows of purity." The woman sighed. "They ain't
permanent YET, though. Some great religious study or not,
you still can't make the final set until your probation is
up."

"A life of privation and charity. You cannot imagine how my
soul aches to embrace such a destiny."

"Well, Brother Ran, BEFORE you take that step, I think you
ought to know about MY family's honor. And tell me why you
left your fiancee behind!"

"I have a fiancee? I do not recall anyone..." Ranma stared
as he weighed the young woman in front of him. "Are you...
Okonomiyaki Ucchan's sister?"

Facefaulting into snow-covered gravel can be painful. Ukyo
rubbed her nose as she recovered. "Ran, we have got a LOT to
talk about!"

================

EPILOGUE:

Pluto had stepped aside as Amaterasu and Sif joined the
group, glad to be able to fade into the background again.

"So that's it. Depending on the point where we retro
things to, three entirely different developments." Amaterasu
seemed to retreat within herself to consider. She added a
fourth view, showing the reality of the Pheonix Mage. "Or we
could leave it go, and it'll seamlessly merge with this
timeline with minimal disruption.

"This one, I think," Sif pointed at one.

"Excellent choice," agreed Amaterasu. "It is done."

-------

EPILOGUE 2:

Timestreams can bend and shift and move. They can also
resonate to some degree. And so, on a timeline where the
Pheonix Mage reveled in the role of Hero Of Light, he
finally defeated Nehelenia through a long and arduous
battle.

He ended up conquering China while he was at it.

Sometimes one can get so wrapped up in the goal, that one
only realizes exactly what has been done when the goal has
been reached.

As Sakyo had the plans, and a number of others had the
abilities, his marionettes surprised Jared Saotome on his
next birthday with the 'fatima adaptation' for Destroids.
Giving them the same sort of responsiveness one would expect
of a Veritech.

Unfortunately, after demonstrating his ability to bring
cultural and economic revolution to China, several poor
Asian countries seized on the "demonstration" as an excuse
to surrender.

It was a good thing that elves did not get ulcers.

-------

EPILOGUE 3:

Akane exchanged a look with Shampoo, then looked down at
the unconscious Ranma that had just been plopped down out of
a hole in the air.

Hesitatingly, she reached out to pull the note from his
chest.

"Dear Akane & Shampoo:
i promised you that if i ran into a spare Ranma,
i'd send him on. This one hasn't gone through
Jusenkyo, the Cat Fist, or a lot of the usual
garbage. He's a little young but should do.
-grey, Rival Relief Office"

Akane smiled at the unconscious Ranma, noting that he
was fifteen or so - a couple of years younger than she was.
"He's a little small, but I guess he'll do."

-------

EPILOGUE 4:

April 12, 2018

Kaji fiddled with his tie, only to have the imposing
figure of Shinji chuckle at his nervousness.

"Come on, Kaji-san, it's not like this hasn't been
coming for a few years." Shinji wagged a finger at the older
man. "You don't want to disappoint Katsuragi-san, do you?"

"Well, just because it's been coming, doesn't mean it
can't make you nervous. Besides, *I* certainly didn't see
this as likely." Kaji glanced towards the muscular young man
and tried to remember the faltering little boy he'd first
met on an aircraft carrier.

There was a knock on the door, and Asuka arrived,
wearing the armored plugsuit she'd developed a few years
ago. There were no more Hellspawn (what they used to call
Angels), but that didn't mean there weren't menaces to
combat. Besides, maid-of-honor was originally a guardian
position.

"Did Ayanami show?" Shinji asked hopefully.

"Nein, I don't think she'll make it." Asuka looked
Kaji over critically before finally giving him a nod of
approval. "I think she's still in Europe, helping out with
the Flood victims. Frankly, with the tales of banditry out
there, I'm thinking of heading off myself as soon as the
weddings over."

Shinji nodded. Trust Asuka to find an excuse to go
out and slice up a few bandits. Though bandits who preyed on
the victims of natural disasters WERE a tempting target.
"Well, that means that *I'll* have to stay here. Kick a few
butts for me if you go."

"But of course, Shinji!" Asuka smiled kindly at her
fellow paladin. "Always the responsible one, ne?"

"Someone's got to mind the store," Shinji reminded
her, smiling back. "Now let's get those two married before
Kaji OR Misato get cold feet again."

-------

EPILOGUE 5:

A man in a white turtleneck sweater, with a derby style
hat, steps in front of a blank screen. "Hello, pholks, I'm
Phil."

A well-endowed woman wearing next to nothing appears
from the opposite direction. "And I'm Dixie. We weren't
busy..."

Phil (as if confiding a great secret): "In other words we
haven't had steady work since 'What's New with Phil & Dixie'
folded in Dragon magazine."

Dixie (momentarily depressed): "Especially after D'arc
Tangent fell apart. Geez, since then we've had steady work
in one magazine but otherwise it's just brief cameos."

Phil (sighing): "Like this one."

Dixie (lightly bonks Phil on the derby): "Get on with it."

Phil (grins apologetically): "Oh yeah. We're here because
YOU pressed the 'Help' key!"

Dixie (nods enthusiastically): "So. What subject did you
want assistance with? Sex? Plane travel? Dating customs
between interplanar beings? Interdimensional currency? Sex?
Customs regulations in and out of Asgard? Compatibility
ratings between various species? Hotwiring a landspeeder?
Vulcan mating rituals?"

Phil (exasperated): "C'mon, Dixie, you'll have them thinking
you're some kind of sex fiend."

Dixie (honestly perplexed): "Uhm, yeah, what's the problem?"

Phil (slaps hand over eyes): "Never mind, forgot who I was
talking to."

Dixie (shrugs): "Anyway, just click on one of the topics
below to indicate what you're having trouble with:
C)ustoms
D)ating and Sex
E)ncyclopedia of Worlds
G)adgets
L)anguage
M)agic
P)hysics
T)ravelling Method
U)pdates & File Maintenence
W)here the heck am I?"

Shan considered carefully for a brief moment,
then gently depressed a key.

Dixie: "Oooo! Dating and Sex! Type in your gender and
species!"

Shan thought for a moment before typing in "female
cyborg."

Phil (holding up a finger). "Anatomically correct? Y/N"

Shan checked. "Y"

Dixie (smirks): "Gender and species of desired partner?"

Shan wrote in "Pheonix Mage."

Phil (tilting derby back): "An elf? Well, there's several
'hot spots' available for a fiery elf."

Dixie (evil grin): "Now you'll want to know that a light
breath, when blown along the following areas..."

*ZIP! LATCH! LOCK! CONTAIN!*

Jared examined the 'Planar Guide' briefly, then decided
that it was STILL not safe.

Shan pouted.

Jared took the device back to where a small group of
girls waited, except that curiosity had gotten the better of
him by the time he arrived.

A few moment of looking at menus brought a response.
"What on Earth! What am *I* doing in here?!?? I was going to
look up Keiichi for you." (slaps cover closed)

Urd cocked her head observantly. "So, Jay-chan, what
did it say?
Huh?" Her eyes went low and sultry.

He fretted. "I don't know. I just say two section
headers, 'Control Tips' and 'Endurance' and knew I'd never
bring myself to read the rest."

Suddenly his hand felt lighter, relived of a burden.
Flexing his fingers proved the Planewalker's Guide was gone.
All around him girls were staring at him with innocent
expressions, waiting for him to go away.

"Oh great, I should've destroyed that thing when I had
the chance."

-------

EPILOGUE 6:

"Didn't find him?" Ami Mercury asked just before she was
shoved through a wall.

"Not a trace," growled Haruka Uranus. She glanced at the
Ami-shaped hole in the ferrocrete wall and idly wondered if
she'd gotten soft living on this world.

"We must have gone to a dozen worlds, and I can't say we
saw any intelligent life," sighed Michiru.

"Not even that many decent fights," agreed Haruka,
leaving the transport room with Michiru. "C'mon, I could use
a hot soak."

After a few moments, Ami dragged herself back through the
hole. "I wonder if Usagi's ready to call it off yet?"

--------

EPILOGUE 7:

Ginseng threaded her way through the lab, checking
records and files that even Doctor Lorelei wouldn't have
made sense out of.

Anyone expecting an assembly line production for the
marionettes would have been surprised. Not that there wasn't
something like that in New Texas or in the Juuichiban
section of Japoness Discount Marionette Factory.

That was not what Sakyo had built, and most of the elite
marionettes were made by exactly this sort of method.
Instead of an assembly line with boxes of arms and legs to
attach, there were vats containing a thick gel in which many
little bits of metal glimmered. Banks of sophisticated
computers and microtransmitters told the nanobots in the gel
what to do.

As Sakyo had promised, she had left the systems up and
running for Doctor Lorelei. Some files had been wiped,
leaving the marionette factory with a technological upgrade
of a century or two at most. Mainly in the speed that the
androids could be built, their skin, and the neural
sophistication of the inner network. Except for the vents
and a few other details, the marionettes from this factory
could pass for human in most situations.

Finally Ginseng found reference to a hidden room. Three
elite marionettes as backup in case something went wrong
with her plans.

Those pods were empty too.

"Lorelei-sama," Ginseng spoke into the transmitter after
spending two hours alone in the factory, "I've disabled the
security systems in a corridor to the front door. Bring
Baiko and Tamasaburo, also Gennai-ojiisan. It looks like
we've got the factory ready to use."

"I'm afraid that won't be allowed. Japonesse cannot be
allowed to have access to such technology."

Ginseng turned before a charged ninjato sliced through
her neck.

The kunoichi placed a bomb right over the marionette's
virgin circuit and addressed the head while it still blinked
at her. "Rest in pieces, foul excremental worm. For the good
of the timelines, die helpless and in screaming agony."

A man in spacer gear tsked from the shadows. "Is that
really necessary?"

"No," admitted the female ninja. "But it makes me feel
a lot better."

-------

EPILOGUE 8:

Grey sat at the edge of Mimir's Well and observed as the
chosen timeline continued now without Divine OR Infernal
Intervention. Some parts were funny, some were sad. All of
which was perfectly normal for such things.

There were the Sailor Scouts, each orbitting their love
interest. There was the perky Ranko, the Reluctant Teishi
known as Scarlet, and the hentai disciple of Happosai -
Akane Tendo. The Tendo twins, Nabiki and Kasumi. A seventeen
year old Cologne chatting amiably with her mother-in-law
Nodoka in the Saotome kitchen. Various sundry other girls
all drawn to the eldest child - Jared Saotome. Queen
Serenity and her daughter (multiply removed) Serena and
granddaughter Rini.

Though they were fated to fight dire foes and have to
deal with numerous problems, it was obvious that the vast
majority of them were content if not happy. Far more were
happy than not. It was a time of exploration and invention,
political turmoil and social upheaval. Just little projects
like terraforming Mars was bringing censure from various
sources around the world. Not to mention all the horrors of
rumor and innuendo that were turned against them.
Nonetheless, they were *mainly* happy.

A sound brought his attention to the arch that marked the
entryway to the Well's area. How long she had been there and
watching him, he had no idea.

"This is unexpected," understated Grey. He indicated a
place nearby. "Have a seat?"

She nodded and moved forward to sit in the indicated
area, remaining silent for her own reasons.

Grey glanced at her out of the corner of his eye,
catching her own look and slight smile. Maybe, just maybe,
they could be friends at least?

That wasn't too much to hope for, was it?

=============

Hmmm. i hear a few odd phrases out there. Mainly "who?"

Well, that's up to you. Who indeed? Definitely a HER though,
so no votes for Tatewaki or Ryoga or Mousse. Starch is also
NOT a candidate. There are a number of quite different
versions of different characters, so if you e-mail me with a
choice of Kasumi it becomes a question of WHICH Kasumi. (Or
if more than one decides to stick around...) i'm trying
something on my webpage for this. If it works (big 'if'),
this might be useful in a way to write a fic.

There is a THIRD labor planned, an idea that keeps kicking
me in the shins and demanding to be written. It's a
different genre, though with anime tie-ins. Less slapstick,
no divine or infernal intervention, and more a herculean
task that could take years to accomplish. And due to Ares'
little gotcha, once in nobody's going to be able to leave
until its over.
-----------------------------
http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com/
metro...@mindspring.com
""Tsk. You Americans, your women are encouraged
to live up to a standard, while your men are encouraged
to live down to another."
- Kasumi Tendo, "Supersoldier"

"The loudest voice is often the most
incorrect."
- Grey, "reluctant bet"