Twice the chipmunks, half the fun in 'Squeakquel'; just Alvin & Co. dropped into lame HSM rip-off
Taylor
By GLENN WHIPP (AP) – 3 hours ago
"Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel" offers exactly two big
laughs for its kiddo target audience — one involves passing gas, the
other a shot to the crotch.
Since there's a fair amount of time between these two bits of comic
invention, young and old alike have ample opportunity to mull over the
movie's head-scratching decisions, which, on further review, still
leave us with more questions than answers.
Namely:
1. Why do the Chipmunks need to go to high school?
Early in "Squeakquel," a rodent-related accident lands Dave (Jason
Lee) in a full body cast. (Apparently, Lee had a scheduling conflict
or a really good note from home, making him unavailable for duty
here.)
Dave puts the rodents in the care of his slacker cousin Toby (Zachary
Levi) and instructs that Alvin, Simon and Theodore go to school.
Now we already know that the Chipmunks are smarter than Dave. And at
the beginning of "Squeakquel," we see again that they are veritable
cash machines capable of rocking the house with ear-bleeding covers of
songs old and new.
So do chipmunks really need a diploma? And given their size, wouldn't
they be safer with the kindergarten crowd?
Say what you will about the 2007 "Chipmunk" movie, but at least it had
a story. Here, they've basically dropped the Chipmunks into "High
School Musical" and, God help us, we'd take the warbling of Zac Efron
and Vanessa Hudgens' any day over the sound of processed rodents.
2. If you double the chipmunks, do you double the ... um ... fun?
"Squeakquel" introduces us to the Chipettes, three girl chipmunks,
whose personalities and singing aspirations mirror the boys. Christina
Applegate, Amy Poehler and Anna Faris voice the Chipettes, but you'd
never know it because their factory-rendered, high-pitched voices
sound fairly identical, completely wasting the talent behind them.
3. Why didn't David Cross have Jason Lee's escape clause (or sense of
dignity)?
Cross' desperate villain, Ian, returns in "Squeakquel," pretty much
doing the exact same thing again, down to the wire-cage imprisonment
finale.
Ian latches onto the Chipettes as his return to the top, boldly
proclaiming that they'll make the world forget about the Chipmunks.
OK. Maybe if they were singing porcupines, he'd have a point. But take
out the earplugs, Ian, and you won't hear any difference in the
novelty acts.
4. Has anyone ever talked to Alvin and the boys about the birds and
the bees?
Just asking because Alvin, in particular, seems a tad confused. The
Chipettes' arrival understandably gets the blood flowing (cue
Foreigner's "I Want To Know What Love Is"), but Alvin also seems just
a little too interested in hooking up with high school girls. (Even
the lunk-headed jocks know something's up and plot revenge.)
And the ending? Without revealing too much, expect to hear the pitter
patter of little rodent feet in (gulp) the "Threequel."
5. Speaking of which, is it too late to start collecting our loose
change now so we can send it along to Fox and stave off the
inevitable?
Name your price, Mr. Murdoch. We'll form the Facebook group.
"Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel," a 20th Century Fox release,
is rated PG for some mild rude humor. Running time: 89 minutes. One
star out of four.
___
Motion Picture Association of America rating definitions:
G — General audiences. All ages admitted.
PG — Parental guidance suggested. Some material may not be suitable
for children.
PG-13 — Special parental guidance strongly suggested for children
under 13. Some material may be inappropriate for young children.
R — Restricted. Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult
guardian.
NC-17 — No one under 17 admitted.
If you're reading this, you've gone too far. Don't waste another
second of your precious life on this crap (NTVLand).
Copyright © 2009 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/media/ALeqM5hbgRvZCrMhhLV3vjaIXxHgusbFLQ?size=l
In this film publicity image released by 20th Century Fox, Alvin the
chipmunk is shown in a scene from, " Alvin and the Chipmunks: The
Sqeakuel". (AP Photo/20th Century Fox)
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/media/ALeqM5jZDQiVcyHwWaUgQi7C577rGhazjQ?size=l
In this film publicity image released by 20th Century Fox, chipmunks
Theodore, left, Alvin, center, and Simon arrive for their first day in
school in a scene from, " Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Sqeakuel". (AP
Photo/20th Century Fox)
Anim8rFSK
<68355186-d8d4-4baa...@m26g2000yqb.googlegroups.com>,
Taylor <lukeb...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Since there's a fair amount of time between these two bits of comic
> invention, young and old alike have ample opportunity to mull over the
> movie's head-scratching decisions, which, on further review, still
> leave us with more questions than answers.
Isn't the answer to every question "Because Janice Karman is a
talentless harpy shrew nutcase"? Certainly that's what everybody I've
ever talked to that worked on a Chipmunks show claimed.
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