The Art Of Being Crabby
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Esther R. Kane
Apr 25, 2013, 10:52:35 PM4/25/13
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Please consider this free-reprint article written by:
Esther R. Kane
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IMPORTANT - Publication/Reprint Terms
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- You are not allowed to use this article for commercial purposes. The article should only be reprinted in a publicly accessible website and not in a members-only commercial site.
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The role of iSnare.com is only to distribute this article as part of its Article Distribution feature ( http://www.isnare.com/distribution.php ). iSnare.com does NOT own this article, please respect the author's copyright and this publication/reprint terms. If you do not agree to any of these terms, please do not reprint or publish this article.
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Article Title: The Art Of Being Crabby
Author: Esther R. Kane
Word Count: 916
Article URL: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=131297&ca=Womens+Interest
Format: 64cpl
Contact The Author: http://www.isnare.com/eta.php?aid=131297
Easy Publish Tool: http://www.isnare.com/html.php?aid=131297
*********************** ARTICLE START ***********************
I wish that I could say that I am feeling fabulous and �outta site� and full of positive thoughts and feelings right now, but I happen to be an honest person (sometimes to my detriment) and I can�t lie well. So how am I REALLY feeling, you ask? CRABBY. I�m being visited by my dear and old friend, PMS, and she�s making me feel murderous one minute, and pathetically weep-into-a-hankie sad the next. I�m guessing that wherever you are on the female hormone continuum, you can relate to what I�m talking about. As I write this, I would laugh at a button I have on my desk in front of me (but my present mood doesn�t tolerate happiness, let alone a wee chuckle) that says, �PMS- Harness The Energy�. So that�s exactly what I�m doing by writing this article. And perhaps I can make at least one of you laugh which would be great�
As a woman-centred therapist, I feel that it is my duty to empower and uplift women and to encourage them to become all they dream of being. And I truly believe that us gals cannot be fully empowered and uplifted unless we feel totally free to feel whatever we need to feel at any given moment and to not be ashamed about it. As girls, we learn that �good girls don�t get angry�, and that it is somehow �unfeminine� for us to get mad and express it. I wish I could say that this is changing with our younger generation, but sadly, from the work that I do, I see countless young women killing themselves in various ways; internalizing their rage and taking it out on themselves instead of getting mad at society or people in their lives who have controlled, manipulated, violated, and/or abused them. What do I feel when I hear these stories? MAD!
I wish desperately that more of us could embrace our �inner crab� and let her out when she needs to say something, stand up for something/someone, or express the pain that�s underneath her anger. I have come to learn that �the inner crab� is very wise indeed and can help us lead happier, healthier, and more balanced lives once we learn to tune into her and take her advice.
I don�t know about you, but as a young woman, whenever I expressed crabbiness or anger, I was immediately shut down by the adults in my life. I was shamed and called, �moody�, �disagreeable�, �unladylike�, or �uncooperative�.
It didn�t stop there either. Still, as a woman, I get called names any time I�m not �nice� or �compliant� and it really makes me mad. In fact, the more I get judged for being crabby, the crabbier I become. Same for many women I know. So what�s the solution?
EMBRACE YOUR INNER CRAB AND LISTEN TO WHAT SHE IS TELLING YOU!
Often, when we�re crabby, it�s a sign that someone has crossed a personal boundary we have. This can be a good thing because sometimes we are unaware of our boundaries until they are crossed. Once we know our boundaries, we can enforce them and stop letting people walk all over us, and thus, become less crabby in the long run because we won�t be feeling so resentful so much of the time.
Plus, when we stop fighting feeling crabby, and just let ourselves feel as crabby as we want, the feeling usually goes away much faster because it�s been given the airtime and release it needed. Sometimes we�re crabby because of certain circumstances in our lives and sometimes it�s just raging hormones and there ain�t a lot we can do about it. The thing to remember is that feelings are just feelings and they don�t last forever. If you�re in such a crabby mood that you can�t see it ending, remind yourself that �this too shall pass� and that you�ll feel better soon.
But while you�re riding the waves of crabbiness, try one or some, or all of the following to get through to the other side where rainbows and pots of gold await you�
Esther�s Top 5 Tips to Embracing Your Inner Crab
1. Go with it and stop fighting how you�re feeling
2. Follow these two important rules while you�re in the throws of crabbiness: don�t hurt yourself or anyone/thing else.
3. Let your anger out in healthy ways like: intense exercise, shouting in your car with the windows rolled up (not when you�re driving), punching pillows, writing all the vicious thoughts you�re having out on paper and destroying them afterwards, �venting� to a caring person who realises that it�s healthy to let off some steam once in a while.
4. After you�ve let out your anger, nurture yourself by doing nice things like having a bath, petting an animal, getting a massage, or doing some yoga and/or meditation.
5. You�ll probably move into feeling sad and weepy after you�ve released your anger, as sadness is often what is beneath the surface of our crabbiness. Let yourself have a good cry- let it out. You�ll feel a whole lot lighter and freer afterwards.
About The Author: Esther Kane, MSW, Registered Clinical Counsellor, is the author of �Dump That Chump: A Ten-Step Plan for Ending Bad Relationships and Attracting the Fabulous Partner You Deserve (http://www.dumpthatchump.com), and �What Your Mama Can�t or Won�t Teach You: Grown Women�s Stories of Their Teen Years (http://www.guidebooktowomanhood.com). Sign up for her free monthly e-zine, Women�s Community Counsellor, to uplift and inspire women at: http://www.estherkane.com. Please consider this article for publication in your newsletter or website. Permission is granted to reprint for free with resource box and byline intact. Please send me a copy of your publication if you choose to include my article.
Please use the HTML version of this article at:
http://www.isnare.com/html.php?aid=131297
*********************** ARTICLE END ***********************
- To distribute your articles go to http://www.isnare.com/distribution.php
- For more free-reprint articles go to http://www.isnare.com
Message delivered directly to members of the group:
publish-the...@googlegroups.com
*****************************************************************
Please consider this free-reprint article written by:
Esther R. Kane
*****************************
IMPORTANT - Publication/Reprint Terms
- You have permission to publish this article electronically in free-only publications such as a website or an ezine as long as the bylines are included.
- You are not allowed to use this article for commercial purposes. The article should only be reprinted in a publicly accessible website and not in a members-only commercial site.
- You are not allowed to post/reprint this article in any sites/publications that contains or supports hate, violence, porn and warez or any indecent and illegal sites/publications.
- You are not allowed to use this article in UCE (Unsolicited Commercial Email) or SPAM. This article MUST be distributed in an opt-in email list only.
- If you distribute this article in an ezine or newsletter, we ask that you send a copy of the newsletter or ezine that contains the article to http://www.isnare.com/eta.php?aid=131297
- If you post this article in a website/forum/blog, ALL links MUST be set to hyperlinks and we ask that you send a copy of the URL where the article is posted to http://www.isnare.com/eta.php?aid=131297
- We request that you ask permission from the author if you want to publish this article in print.
The role of iSnare.com is only to distribute this article as part of its Article Distribution feature ( http://www.isnare.com/distribution.php ). iSnare.com does NOT own this article, please respect the author's copyright and this publication/reprint terms. If you do not agree to any of these terms, please do not reprint or publish this article.
*****************************
Article Title: The Art Of Being Crabby
Author: Esther R. Kane
Word Count: 916
Article URL: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=131297&ca=Womens+Interest
Format: 64cpl
Contact The Author: http://www.isnare.com/eta.php?aid=131297
Easy Publish Tool: http://www.isnare.com/html.php?aid=131297
*********************** ARTICLE START ***********************
I wish that I could say that I am feeling fabulous and �outta site� and full of positive thoughts and feelings right now, but I happen to be an honest person (sometimes to my detriment) and I can�t lie well. So how am I REALLY feeling, you ask? CRABBY. I�m being visited by my dear and old friend, PMS, and she�s making me feel murderous one minute, and pathetically weep-into-a-hankie sad the next. I�m guessing that wherever you are on the female hormone continuum, you can relate to what I�m talking about. As I write this, I would laugh at a button I have on my desk in front of me (but my present mood doesn�t tolerate happiness, let alone a wee chuckle) that says, �PMS- Harness The Energy�. So that�s exactly what I�m doing by writing this article. And perhaps I can make at least one of you laugh which would be great�
As a woman-centred therapist, I feel that it is my duty to empower and uplift women and to encourage them to become all they dream of being. And I truly believe that us gals cannot be fully empowered and uplifted unless we feel totally free to feel whatever we need to feel at any given moment and to not be ashamed about it. As girls, we learn that �good girls don�t get angry�, and that it is somehow �unfeminine� for us to get mad and express it. I wish I could say that this is changing with our younger generation, but sadly, from the work that I do, I see countless young women killing themselves in various ways; internalizing their rage and taking it out on themselves instead of getting mad at society or people in their lives who have controlled, manipulated, violated, and/or abused them. What do I feel when I hear these stories? MAD!
I wish desperately that more of us could embrace our �inner crab� and let her out when she needs to say something, stand up for something/someone, or express the pain that�s underneath her anger. I have come to learn that �the inner crab� is very wise indeed and can help us lead happier, healthier, and more balanced lives once we learn to tune into her and take her advice.
I don�t know about you, but as a young woman, whenever I expressed crabbiness or anger, I was immediately shut down by the adults in my life. I was shamed and called, �moody�, �disagreeable�, �unladylike�, or �uncooperative�.
It didn�t stop there either. Still, as a woman, I get called names any time I�m not �nice� or �compliant� and it really makes me mad. In fact, the more I get judged for being crabby, the crabbier I become. Same for many women I know. So what�s the solution?
EMBRACE YOUR INNER CRAB AND LISTEN TO WHAT SHE IS TELLING YOU!
Often, when we�re crabby, it�s a sign that someone has crossed a personal boundary we have. This can be a good thing because sometimes we are unaware of our boundaries until they are crossed. Once we know our boundaries, we can enforce them and stop letting people walk all over us, and thus, become less crabby in the long run because we won�t be feeling so resentful so much of the time.
Plus, when we stop fighting feeling crabby, and just let ourselves feel as crabby as we want, the feeling usually goes away much faster because it�s been given the airtime and release it needed. Sometimes we�re crabby because of certain circumstances in our lives and sometimes it�s just raging hormones and there ain�t a lot we can do about it. The thing to remember is that feelings are just feelings and they don�t last forever. If you�re in such a crabby mood that you can�t see it ending, remind yourself that �this too shall pass� and that you�ll feel better soon.
But while you�re riding the waves of crabbiness, try one or some, or all of the following to get through to the other side where rainbows and pots of gold await you�
Esther�s Top 5 Tips to Embracing Your Inner Crab
1. Go with it and stop fighting how you�re feeling
2. Follow these two important rules while you�re in the throws of crabbiness: don�t hurt yourself or anyone/thing else.
3. Let your anger out in healthy ways like: intense exercise, shouting in your car with the windows rolled up (not when you�re driving), punching pillows, writing all the vicious thoughts you�re having out on paper and destroying them afterwards, �venting� to a caring person who realises that it�s healthy to let off some steam once in a while.
4. After you�ve let out your anger, nurture yourself by doing nice things like having a bath, petting an animal, getting a massage, or doing some yoga and/or meditation.
5. You�ll probably move into feeling sad and weepy after you�ve released your anger, as sadness is often what is beneath the surface of our crabbiness. Let yourself have a good cry- let it out. You�ll feel a whole lot lighter and freer afterwards.
About The Author: Esther Kane, MSW, Registered Clinical Counsellor, is the author of �Dump That Chump: A Ten-Step Plan for Ending Bad Relationships and Attracting the Fabulous Partner You Deserve (http://www.dumpthatchump.com), and �What Your Mama Can�t or Won�t Teach You: Grown Women�s Stories of Their Teen Years (http://www.guidebooktowomanhood.com). Sign up for her free monthly e-zine, Women�s Community Counsellor, to uplift and inspire women at: http://www.estherkane.com. Please consider this article for publication in your newsletter or website. Permission is granted to reprint for free with resource box and byline intact. Please send me a copy of your publication if you choose to include my article.
Please use the HTML version of this article at:
http://www.isnare.com/html.php?aid=131297
*********************** ARTICLE END ***********************
- To distribute your articles go to http://www.isnare.com/distribution.php
- For more free-reprint articles go to http://www.isnare.com
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